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Editors Word

Its with great honour that I pen this word for the 60th issue of the WorkZine. Thank you for getting us to this point. Sadly 2014 also marks the 20th anniversary of the 1994 Rwanda Genocide where close to 1,000,000 people died within a space of 100 days. All the movies and the books have not been able to capture the true horror of what happened and thankfully they never will. To all the people who still have nightmares from that period, we stand with you. It is our hope that never again will we allow such a tragedy to befall us. We have re-published President Paul Kagames speech in its entirety as a commemoration of this event. Like he said We have pursued justice and reconciliation as best we could. But it does not restore what we lost. Never again. Regards BusingeAbidWeere Managing Editor

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KAGAMEs SPEECH ON 20th Anniversary of Genocide

I dont have enough words to express my appreciation to all our friends, who have come from near and far to be with us, on a day as important as this. I also thank all of those who have stood with us in Rwandas incredible journey of rebuilding. We are gathered here to remember those who lost their lives in the Genocide and comfort those who survived. As we pay tribute to the victims, both the living and those who have passed, we also salute the unbreakable Rwandan spirit, to which we owe the survival and renewal of our country. To our parents, children, brothers, and sisters who survived to Rwandans who defied the call to genocide and to those who give voice to their remorse it is you who bear the burden of our history. We have pursued justice and reconciliation as best we could. But it does not restore what we lost. Time and again these past twenty years, Rwandans have given of themselves. You have stood before the community to bear witness and listened to others do the same. You have taken responsibility and you have forgiven. Your sacrifices are a gift to the nation. They are the seed from which the new Rwanda grows. Thank you for allowing your humanity and patriotism to prevail over your grief and loss. Thank you very much. Historical clarity is a duty of memory that we cannot escape. Behind the words Never Again, there is a story whose truth must be told in full, no matter how uncomfortable. The people who planned and carried out the Genocide were Rwandans, but the history and root causes go beyond this country. This is why Rwandans continue to seek the most complete explanation possible for what happened. We do so with humility as a nation that nearly destroyed itself. But we are nevertheless determined to recover our dignity as a people. Twenty years is short or long depending on where you stand but there is no justification for false moral equivalence. The passage of time should not obscure the facts, lessen responsibility, or turn victims into villains. People cannot be bribed into changing their history. And no country is powerful enough, even when they think that they are, to change the facts. After all, les faitssontttus. Therefore, when we speak out about the roles and responsibilities of external actors and institutions, it is because genocide prevention demands historical clarity of all of us, not because we wish to shift blame onto others. All genocides begin with an ideology a system of ideas that says: This group of people here, they are less than human and they deserve to be exterminated. The most devastating legacy of European control of Rwanda was the transformation of social distinctions into so-called races. We were

classified and dissected, and whatever differences existed were magnified according to a framework invented elsewhere. The purpose was neither scientific nor benign, but ideological: to justify colonial claims to rule over and civilise supposedly lesser peoples. We are not. This ideology was already in place in the 19th century, and was then entrenched by the French missionaries who settled here. Rwandas two thousand years of history were reduced to a series of caricatures based on Bible passages and on myths told to explorers. The colonial theory of Rwandan society claimed that hostility between something called Hutu, Tutsi, and Twa was permanent and necessary. This was the beginning of the genocide against the Tutsi, as we saw it twenty years ago. With the full participation of Belgian officials and Catholic institutions, this invented history was made the only basis of political organisation, as if there was no other way to govern and develop society. The result was a country perpetually on the verge of genocide. However, Africans are no longer resigned to being hostage to the worlds low expectations. We listen to and respect the views of others. But ultimately, we have got to be responsible for ourselves. In Rwanda, we are relying on universal human values, which include our culture and traditions, to find modern solutions to our unique challenges. Managing the diversity in our society should not be seen as denying the uniqueness of every Rwandan. If we succeed in forging a new, more inclusive national identity, would it be a bad thing? We did not need to experience genocide to become a better people. It simply should never have happened. No country, in Africa or anywhere else, ever needs to become another Rwanda. But if a peoples choices are not informed by historical clarity, the danger is ever present. This is why I say to Rwandans lets not get diverted. Our approach is as radical and unprecedented as the situation we faced. The insistence on finding our own way sometimes comes with a price. Nonetheless, lets stick to the course. To our friends from abroad I believe you value national unity in your own countries, where it exists. Where it doesnt, you are working to build it, just as we are. We ask that you engage Rwanda and Africa with an open mind, accepting that our efforts are carried out in good faith for the benefit of all

of us. We want you to know that we appreciate your contributions, precisely because we do not feel you owe us anything. Rwanda was supposed to be a failed state. Watching the news today, it is not hard to imagine how we could have ended up. We could have become a permanent U.N. protectorate, with little hope of ever recovering our nationhood. We could have allowed the country to be physically divided, with groups deemed incompatible assigned to different corners. We could have been engulfed in a never-ending civil war with endless streams of refugees and our children sick and uneducated. But we did not end up like that. What prevented these alternative scenarios was the choices of the people of Rwanda. After 1994, everything was a priority and our people were completely broken. But we made three fundamental choices that guide us to this day. One we chose to stay together. When the refugees came home we were choosing to be together. When we released genocide suspects in anticipation of Gacaca we were choosing to be together. When we passed an inclusive constitution that transcends politics based on division and entrenched the rights of women as full partners in nation-building, for the first time we were choosing to be together. When we extended comprehensive new education and health benefits to all our citizens we were choosing to be together. Two we chose to be accountable to ourselves. When we decentralise power and decision-making into the towns and hills across the country we are being accountable. When we work with development partners to ensure that their support benefits all our citizens we are being accountable. When we award scholarships and appoint public servants based on merit, without discrimination we are being accountable. When we sanction an official, no matter how high-ranking, who abuses their power or engages in corruption we are being accountable. As a result, our citizens expect more from government, and they deserve it. Three we chose to think big.

When Rwandans liberated our country we were thinking big. When we created Rwandas Vision 2020 and committed to meeting our development goals we were thinking big. When we decided to make Rwanda attractive for business we were thinking big. When we invested in a broadband network that reaches all our 30 districts we were thinking big. When we became a regular contributor to United Nations and African Union peacekeeping missions we were thinking big. We may make mistakes, like every country does. We own up and learn and move forward. There is more hard work ahead of us than behind us. But Rwandans are ready. A few years ago, at a commemoration event, I met a young man who was one of the twelve people pulled alive from under 3,000 bodies in a mass grave at Murambi. He still lived nearby, totally alone. When the perpetrators he recognised came home from prison, he was understandably terrified. When I asked him how he managed, he told me: I could not do it unless I was convinced that these impossible choices are leading us somewhere better. Twenty years ago, Rwanda had no future, only a past. Yet as Fidel told us just now, today we have a reason to celebrate the normal moments of life that are easy for others to take for granted. If the Genocide reveals humanitys shocking capacity for cruelty, Rwandas choices show its capacity for renewal. Today, half of all Rwandans are under 20. Nearly three-quarters are under 30. They are the new Rwanda. Seeing these young people carry the Flame of Remembrance, to all corners of the country over the last three months, gives us enormous hope. We are all here to remember what happened and to give each other strength. As we do so, we must also remember the future to which we have committed ourselves. I thank you.

IN THE NEWS :

Space tree baffles scientists and monks

cherry tree grown from one of 250 seeds that spent eight months on the International Space Station (ISS) has sprouted rapidly and flowered six years earlier than is normal for the species, according to a statement released by NASA. The Japanese sapling, planted at Gifu Ganjojis temple is now four years old and 13 feet tall. Its nine flowers are unlike those produced by the species in that each has five petals instead of the usual 30. In November 2008, 250 cherry tree seeds in Japan were gathered and sent to the ISS. They were returned the following July after orbiting the Earth 4,100 times. When returned, the seeds were planted at 14 different sites. Four of the saplings are currently blooming. Scientists are baffled as to why these trees, which normally take ten years to blossom, are flowering six years early. One member of the project research team, Kaori TomitaYokotani of the University of Tsukuba, said the rapid growth could be a result of the time the seed spent in space. Exposure to cosmic rays could speed up both the trees growth and flowering, she noted. Another more terrestrial

possibility is that the rapid growth is the result of cross pollination with another species. This particular tree is special in another way: It is the first sapling grown from the 1,250-year-old parent tree. The blossoms that so surprised scientists emerged on April 1. Masahiro Kajita, a priest at the Ganjoji temple reported he and his fellow priests continue to be amazed by the cherry trees accelerated growth. Scientists cannot definitively attribute that growth to the seeds time in space because they have insufficient data and no control group with which they can compare these trees, meaning the phenomenon remains a scientific mystery.

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MAAMA NZE 4 WHY, OH WHY?

(from the tales of Old Grumpy Muzungu)
By YuriyGrigoryants This story happened to me and my late friend from my first college, Sergey, back in the USSR (ahhh, Beatles). We were very close at some point of our lives and have been at each other houses almost every day. We, even, sometimes stayed overnight, were doing course works together, preparing for exams, and later, just goofing around in the neighborhoods... Sergey had a big, fat male cat. That cat was lazy, and arrogant. It was walking around slowly, with dignity and with some kind of an attitude. This cat never asked to be petted, rather proudly walked away from anyone attempting to pet him. Cat's name was Tarzan, though nothing could be so mismatching as this name and cat's attitude... Tarzan looked actually pretty. Long bushy tail, black and white thick fur, and ginger markings on the sides. White whiskers on Tarzan's face made him look like a butler in a royal house. Despite his cuteness, Tarzan was a miserable, nasty, vindictive bastard. I still remember, when I pushed him slightly from my cup with vodka, he later returned the favor by pissing in my shoes at night. I couldn't wash that stink away and had to get rid of these shoes... Tarzan also had another, obnoxious habit. Tarzan never used a litter box to poop. He used to poop anywhere he felt like it. I knew, because when I was at Sergey's house, I often heard his mother, or him yelling: You funky, dirty cat! Again?! Mind you, Tarzan's favorite place to shit was behind the big TV set in the dining room. So, every time he squeezed himself in and pooped behind the TV, Sergey had to pull the TV stand and clean the mess. Amazingly, it never crossed Sergey or his family's mind that they should get rid of Tarzan. I often used to tell Sergey, Won't you get rid of Tarzan? He's useless, stinky cat. What's the point to have all this inconvenience? Sergey always looked at me accusingly, saying: We're responsible for those we tamed... However, at some point, Sergey lost all his patience and decided to do something about this disgusting Tarzan's habit. He went around and asked those who had cats for a long time, what to do if grown male cat shits everywhere like nobody's business. One female from the neighborhood told him that the best way to improve cat's behavior, especially male cat (what a hater that woman was) is to teach them tough lesson. She told Sergey, When Tarzan poops again, grab him by the back of his neck, and push his face into his own poop, firmly. Cats don't like this. Don't let him go, instead draw his face against his shit few times, and then throw him out of the window outside, so he would realize he did something really, really bad... Here it has to be clarified: all this was happening in winter, so windows in the houses were sealed tightly to prevent the cold from getting inside the premises. In order to get fresh air, we used to open small vents, which were built in the regular windows. Before you say ahhh, my dear reader: Sergey lived on the first floor of the five story building, so Tarzan wouldn't fly into his death, besides there was plenty of snow around the building, so... The next day, after the conversation with the hater of males, the epic struggle between Sergey and Tarzan began. I periodically witnessed, how Tarzan was caught behind the TV set, his face was mercilessly pushed into his own faeces and drawn from the right to the left and back, then Tarzan was thrown through that vent window outside until he came back, scratched the door and was let in with relatively clean and guilty face... This was going on for good three weeks with no change whatsoever in Tarzan's habit to poop behind the TV, or elsewhere, until one day, when I happened to be at Sergey's home.We were sipping our beers when we smelled that familiar stink... Sergey angrily ran to the dining room. I followed him. And what we saw:Tarzan was sitting (this time it happened in front of the TV set) and sniffing his own shit, gently and carefully, as only cats do. When we entered the room, he looked at Sergey with big

frightened eyes and... What happened then was beyond human's imagination. Tarzan first threw-back his head, then quickly dipped his face in his own shit, then with evil howl he jumped on the window, then through the little vent -- outside and disappeared into the night. That night Tarzan did not return home. Later, next day, Sergey couldn't find this poor creature anywhere. Tarzan left for good. Sergey and I looked at each other with great amazement. We did not say a word. In total silence, Sergey grabbed telephone, called the girl he was dating and cancelled the date for that night. I did the same later that night, but I called my girl from the public phone outside Sergey's house. I felt like using his home telephone would be inappropriate, and who knew about mobile phones at that time in Russia?In about year after that story Sergey started to drink regularly, slowly turning into an alcoholic. About the same time I decided to go to Hare Krishna temple and become a monk. When I left the temple two years later, I've learned that Sergey died untimely due to an excessive drinking. And I got married.

Yuriy Grigoryants (08/22/1957 still waiting) Immigrated from Russia to the US in 1998. Lived almost 11 years in New York, moved to San Antonio in 2009. Was writing poetry, songs, performing on stage in Russia. In 2010 started to write in English, and to his surprise found quite warm reception from people of San Antonio. Regularly attends open mic events. Was also reading poems at local radio stations. Return to poetry was quite therapeutic, and challenging, as English is not his native language. But the revived passion for writing, spoken word and acting made this crossover happen. And he is on his way to become full time writer/spoken word artist, etc. His first book of poetry and short stories, Burnt Lips was released on Amazon.com and as a Kindle version in October 2012.

A Music Review:

Ruyongas
Victory Lap and PompisMizu
By Carlo Tess carlotess

Lately Ive been listening to a lot of Hip Hop music. Im not a rap kind of girl by any definition, Im more soul and jazz. But somehow I got a hold of both Ruyongas Victory Lap album and Pompis Mizu. This is my very honest and biased and well, my opinion, review of both of these.
irst, I like Ruyonga. I like his music not only because hes Ugandan but also because his music sounds good and its clean and Christian. When it comes to Victory Laps sound, Ruyonga was disappointing. I mean, he has about three songs that he sings over other peoples music. Not even Gospel music or anything, just great beats like Khona and Personally. I mean, those songs sound great and all but for a Christian rap album, I dont think they are appropriate. When it comes to content, I really struggled to find some kind of edification in Ruyongas music. His lyrics are all about having arrived and how great he is and how cool the females are and who the best be. Hell throw in a few words about God bringing him thus far but honestly, I didnt see how he spoke to me to edify me in Christ. Then he

has collaborations with people like Navio and Enygma but its still all about how big they are and how they have made it. Maybe I expected more from someone who claimed to be Christian rapper. And then what was with all the shout outs? There was a whole song of shout outs to every deejay and radio presenter in Kampala. I was disappointed, very disappointed Ruyonga. Though not as much as my sister who said, Ruyonga is the wooooorrrst! Yes, she sang it. I knew Pompis music when he was not yet saved so I was a bit shocked to find his Christian RnB album. Pleasantly surprised, I must add. I generally really like the sound of Zambian words (Swilililili anyone?) and the way they are infused into English lyrics just makes it sound rich. What stood out for me with his music was how much I was edified and gave God glory listening to his music. Giant Killer spoke to me in such a special way that I was encouraged in the Lord. Even when he was singing about love for a girl in Make Up, I saw his testimony with lyrics like I read about you in the Bible, Proverbs 31. My sister (who it seems helped with this review) said of him, Pompis music preaches. And thats exactly what one should do when they decide to put Gospel or Christian as a description of their art. I should come out of the experience feeling like I can give God glory or that I have been edified. Honestly, Ive tried to look for some kind of message from Ruyongas music, or even a song that stays with you and becomes an earworm and I have failed. I have listened to this album on repeat for the past couple of weeks but I cant even remember a line except for its the victory rap, the victory rap. There needs to be more depth to this music. When I first heard his Tutuuse, I thought it was quite catchy but it still said nothing. All he said was that he had arrived, arrived where? From where? How? Come to think of

h c t a C a n n o G e Not k a e r B A
ok n Mus By Iva e

it, why did I ever like Ruyonga music? I was totally biased because I heard that he was Christian. Even though I didnt understand some of Pompis lyrics that were in Chechewa or Bemba, his music spoke to me. I spent days singing isawikalemumutimawandi, no renti, no rent and I am a giant killer, I am a giant killer. It doesnt help that Pompi has this smooth transition he makes from singing to rapping that makes his music that much easier to sing along to. Ruyongas rap is hard for people like me who are not really Hip Hop fans to begin with, although I must admit he flows really well. Im not going to rank these albums with numbers because I feel like Im not the best person to judge Hip Hop or rap, but Ill ask you to go and buy Pompis album. I got that on iTunes and got Ruyongas from Bold in Acacia Mall. I must give credit to Reverb Nation for helping me get a few songs from both of these artists before I went looking for the full albums.

He: Do you know why Im arresting you? She: Kale youre dry! Am I supposed to do your job? He: Madam, its because you are not supposed to move under the influence. She: Im not driving. Be serious. He: Excuse you please. Even walking is a punishable offense. She: Are you telling me Walking To Work wasnt bad enough,you had to find other ways to punish people who have no cars? He: Only those running on liquor. She: But Im not even drunk. He: Your eyes are red. She: I was rubbing He: Rub-a-dubbing is a punishable offense. She: my eyes. He: I dont believe you. Im going to need you to blow in to this She: I know my rights. My mouth is for eating. He: In that case Im going to have to arrest you for dressing indecently. According to the anti-pornography act She: How is this indecent? He: Your clothes are see through. I can see your panties. She: Thats where youre wrong. Im not wearing any. That's cellulite. He: Well, in that case, I will charge you with attempting to lure men

She: What? That was not my intention. He: No? She: No. He: In that case, Im going to arrest you for attempting to lure women, which, as my luck would have it, is a punishable offense according to the AntiHomosexuality act She: That law has loop-holes He: Madam, dont bring holes in to this She: Where is the sense in arresting a gay person and throwing him or her in to a place where he or she may be sodomized? He: We dont throw them in to jail first. First we probe them She: My point exactly He: then we put them in a cell without soap.

Why Ugandans cant survive in Rwanda.

By Atulinda Allan

30 Minutes staring at the phone

BY Linda Tusiime She chewed nervously on her bottom lip, ruining the gloss shed carefully applied that morning. It had been 30 minutes and nothing. 30 minutes of clicking on his Whatsapp profile, seeing him online but still no response to her last message. Why wasnt he responding? She was supposed to be the one who ignored him, not the other way round. How dare he be online and not respond??! It was 2 months since the breakup, 2 months of yippy Im single phases mangled up with nightly bouts of regretful tears. Shed never expected to be this confused about a simple thing that was so obviously right. Or wasnt it? Yes, it was. Cliiinggg.. Clammering for the cell that was already in her hand she anxiously opened up the new message..... Darn it! Him again. Roger. The guy shed had a crush on for almost 4 years and painfully been his best friend (stupid stupid) for the entire duration. Being the cool girl he told of all his latest conquests, the good friend (Friend-Hate the word) he turned to when he needed advice, the best friend(there it is again) he watched movies with till wee hours in the morning. Time had waved its magic wand and theyd been out of contact for about 2 years, slowly ebbing away at whatever remnant of a crush she still had left. Until the internet invented free communication. Now, she knew all about the awesome girl he was currently dating. (Side note: Boyra was indeed awesome, complete with even a freaking unique name! Shes taken time to search for this new feline on the web. She knew her hobbies, her friends, her education background, you name it. ) bSighing she read his message, Hey u. I had great weekend, was in wit ma lady. she cooks really well btw. Ah, wish these moments could last forever! How u? ........... Clear conversation History ......... Block .... She went back to checking the online status of the man she regretted breaking up with.

ith a dream and hope that East Africa wants to be one block, some of us got so excited and sung praises to/for our leaders. So just as the Movie Last King of Scotland starts with this guy rolling the globe and pointing on Uganda and ended up there, my heart pointed on Rwanda. However as aNtinda dude, under the leadership of my Gangsta leaders, the Lukwagos and Jennifers fights, i have found out that its "hard" to survive Rwanda. It is not Space science in Rwanda but its just Ugandans are space cowboys who live in Ug like life never has control or end. My top 10 reasons why i think we cant survive in Rwanda unless.. wekulyaembwa. {eat dogs too.}

1. No corruption
As one crosses from Uganda to Rwanda at Katuna/Gatuna, there is a huge sign post thats reads loud out "Corruption NO, Investments YES." Now as a Ugandan who has been surrounded, been hearing and reading about how good Uganda and its leaders are "perfect" at corruption, i smiled and took a picture of the post. The zero corruption tolerance here in Rwanda is for world cup..even talking about it in a bar may be a crime at one point. For a me who is used to "kittukidogo" every where and all the times, here prison would be my home. They even have a full week dedicated to eradicating Corruption, the AntiCorruption Week that is on the Rwandan calendar every year. According to world Corruption free country rankings Rwanda

is at 49 while my Ug is at 140. http://issuu. com/transparencyinternational/docs/cpi2013_ brochure_single_pages?e=2496456/5813913 Now with this ranking of the less corrupt, me at 140 icant even enter from Katuna/Gatuna. I think its a reason why Ugandan leaders fly to Kigali. You will never see them use roads to end Rwanda. That Anti Corruption board is a haunt to them.

streets, they just accept the results and get to the next level of pinning government incase they don't perform. From what i see, there is no kavuyoand money for tear gas purchase by the Police. If you are used tokavuyoand tear gas, you wont survive, hence don't come because it ain't here!!!

so if u have issues with i don't want it to mess up my hair, oh they are not hygiene enoguh... blah blahblah.. just forget using theboda taxi motto. Stick to the 4-seater taxis of Twenyige." About Taxi's in my Nyambos {Nyamirambo} Taxis, u may seem you are in a club and we sit 4-4 people.. Ffeewannotwenyiggabaanabaana in a taxi.

2. Clean and green area code

In uganda, where you seen a sign post "don't dumb rubbish''its where you will find the most rubbish. Its worse if it reads "Don't throw rubbish here, Fine: 200.000/-" its as if its okay to dump stuff there. In Rwanda, even in the Kyalos {Villages} you will see clean hoods that dont need posts like "don't dump rubbish here" and enforcers trying to arrest you for gabage. Their green belts bambi, you dont mess with them. Even at the stadia, unless your a footballer and there is a match, thats when you are allowed to step on the grass in a pitch. Imagine that!!! Damn..kyaba too much. if you are a me who goes around eating on the road and dumps stuff anywhere, please as you cross the border leave that character out. If not, here prison via a court is your next stop. For as long as you are in the boarders of Rwanda You are advised to "Keep Kigali & Rwanda Clean."

7. No Red pepper or play boy mansions

The first time i read and badly wanted to keep reading the red pepper tabloid was when they had a picture on front page of kids having it in the bush. Stuff was too tight that it was a "healthy debate" even in Uganda's parliament. In Rwanda you wont see a paper showing you Rwanda's finest chicks and hunks on the beach have naked or in bars and even parties. Here news has to be serious and really serious nothing like wolokosoand dustless news of a mother fighting with a daughter over a man or mbu a man rapped a dog or goat. Hell No!! we mean business here. I have not seen any picture of a hot chick anywhere showing things that are private. so if u are on an eye nutrition diet, don't hustle coming. Recently the Ministry of Sports and Culture banned a song "Achila" by Urban Boys due to indecency. And do you know what indecency was?? The girl showering and in a lingerie... Imagine? They were forced to do a new video. KABOOOOOM I remembered videos by the likes of Rabadaba - Okimansuza, Magla'setcYouknw the videos.

9. No TVs and programs to watch and less radio

In Uganda & Kenya, Media wars are taking another level. With a span of more than 500 radio stations and more than 20 television station in Uganda, i can say variety if at full-full condition. Some people reach a point of fighting for the remote with kids, to watch either NTV Uganda, NBS TV Urban TV, TV West, others WBS and some loyal Ugandans sometimes pay a courtesy watch to peep at UBC TV. Here TV and radio can bore you to the bone. Rwanda TV and Channel Ten, are totally a turn off. For RTV its okay since all government media houses all over the world are the public's worst enemy. The programming of shows like Log in, Xpzd, Show-time magazine, K.U.T, Morning Breeze, Agataliko..blahblah, here bambii don't even know of any program.. if they ain't airing news they have zikki. Maybe DSTV ...that is of you can afford kubangaits up there for just a few good tv stations.. Basically no or less home entertainment

5. No rolex and "Street side dishes"

You know how Ugandans love "eat- eating" every time and everywhere, here bambi you will starve. Oba its because we have a lot {Uganda, The Food Basket Of Africa}idont know. That's the reason ieat-eat every thing. This place has few joints for katogo, Chapatti & Rolex. And the food here aint diverse like in Uganda. you will find a few places with our many local foods. You know this saying of "Waiter, i need matooke, rice sweet potatoes, irish potatoes, pumpkins, yams, posho, cassava and etc," here bambi u will be limited to rice, chips {mafirite} irish and spaghetti.. and may be cassava. May be when you hit Kyallos..Naye in the city, you will starve unless you are a junk fun.

10. Laws that actually work

In Rwanda if its a law, it really works. If its a law passed by the law makers, there is nothing like moving around it to run away from it. If a law say no to this or no to that, thats it. if it says yes to this and to that, you will get that. How they do it i am still looking at that and will let you know. All the above and the much success has been achieved by having laws that work. The law against corruption works, right from top to the lowestwanainchi, a law is a law and no excuse. There is where i read that the president had to declare his personal assets and everybody else followed. Imagine that!!! If i am to give you a survival tip you, move on with the trend of things here. If you go where they eateth a dog u too eateth the dog {Bwogendaebulyambwa, naaweolyambwa.} Am loving it here. Am out however these are just few, a few!!!

4. Smooth roads

There is a saying in Uganda that says "our potholes have roads in them" here the word pothole doesn't exist. The roads are too smooth and scaring. The first time i drove here, i wasn't sure i was driving on a high way to Kinigi somewhere in the North of Rwanda. I know everyone praises Rwanda for the good roads and green environment, well if you doubt that please come take a peep and tell your story. My story is that if you brought a Ugandan car here, it would drive u at no fuel demand. But as you come please don't expect to drive more than the designated speed limits. The signs are in your face and you dont need to have the Ugandan excuse Afandeiain't seeing no road sign. you will end up at "1930 Geresa at Nyarugenge"

6. No tear gas & demos.

I had been a subject to "Tear gas journalism" in Uganda until i had too much of it. Tear gas is an opposition trade mark and brand in Uganda to have themselves in the international media platform. I don't know if here there is a word called tear gas. Here not even opposition joints are seen..the opposition here is more "diplomatic and calm." Should i say they are looking up to Mahtma Ghandi's peaceful and calm teachings ?i think so.. elections come they {opposition} make topical noise that is never convincing and thats why i guess people continue voting overwhelmingly in the RPF team but they {opposition} never complain or take it to the

8. Bodabodas with Helmets

Bodabodas are almost everywhere in Africa and i will say in Rwanda, these so called taxi motosare at a level of their own. They have what i might call discipline. They don't rush {even if you are dying to get somewhere}, they don't over take, they never carry more than one passenger, ladies sit the same way like the men and the so called most controversial helmet is a must. You cant move on a taxi moto here minus wearing an helmet.

Mr Jones And Me
By Ernest Bazanye

When May I Shoot a Student?

r Jones and MeIt was one of those nights as Silas called them. One of those nights. The words trailing into breathlessness as they escaped his mouth. One of those nights when all the necessary elements were present in their correct configuration: not just the money, not just the weather and not just the place. It was beyond that. It was an energy, a vibe, a resonance in all the minds involved; total, unflinching agreement that they were young, invincible and magnificent and ready to rip the heart beating out of the chest of the night. It is on nights like this that drunk driving fatalities are borne, it is on nights like this that unwanted children are conceived. It is fine, perhaps, to think that you cannot be burnt, as long as you are not walking into any bonfires. Dora was sitting alone at the corner of the bar. There is a way a blouse wraps itself around a womans body that is just so right, a way that jeans cling to thigh that makes it seem like for them this is the achievement of ultimate purpose.

Doras face was set unsmiling. The yellow barlight made her skin glow. She was looking over at the pool table, but she was clearly not watching. She looked bored. We had all been staring, all five of us. Space leaned back and spread out his hands as if to invite applause for his next statement. You guys, he said, let me assure you how I know the chick. He waited for the chorus of no ways and fuck yous to complete its circuit round the group before he raised himself partly out of his seat and leaned forward. On cue, she turned from the game to face our table. And saw Space. Hewaved.She smiled politely and waved back.Space leaned back into his chair with a happy grin on his face. "Dora Mbabazi. Resident of Nakawa Division, one of my many admirers. If you are good little boys, I may give you an introduction. It didnt matter how good we were, though because by the time we turned round again, she was gone. Gone? Not entirely. Dora, in her way, stayed with us all night, lingering in the taste of beer, glistening in the light, whispering in the music. A romantic would say we had all fallen in love with her, but that would be absurdly wrong. We were young, invincible, magnificent and far too stupid and self-involved for love. It was more a thick mingling of lust and intimidation that settled upon the table. I felt something a little bit extra, though. I wasnt just attracted, wasnt just intimidated. Those feelings stem from a cohesive sense of what you have seen . My feeling came from what I had not seen.

TO the chief counsel of the Idaho State Legislature:

n light of the bill permitting guns on our states college and university campuses, which is likely to be approved by the state House of Representatives in the coming days, I have a matter of practical concern that I hope you can help with: When may I shoot a student? I am a biology professor, not a lawyer, and I had never considered bringing a gun to work until now. But since many of my students are likely to be armed, I thought it would be a good idea to even the playing field. I find it ironic that this half-baked idea emanates from Idaho. They should legalize potato guns on campuses instead. I have had encounters with disgruntled students over the years, some of whom seemed quite upset, but I always assumed that when they reached into their backpacks they were going for a pencil. Since I carry a pen to lecture, I did not feel outgunned; and because there are no working sharpeners in the lecture hall, the most they could get off is a single point. But now that well all be packing heat, I would like legal instruction in the rules of classroom engagement. At present, the harshest penalty available here at

Boise State is expulsion, used only for the most heinous crimes, like cheating on Scantron exams. But now that lethal force is an option, I need to know which infractions may be treated as de facto capital crimes. I assume that if a student shoots first, I am allowed to empty my clip; but given the velocity of firearms, and my aging reflexes, Id like to be proactive. For example, if I am working out a long equation on the board and several students try to correct me using their laser sights, am I allowed to fire a warning shot? If two armed students are arguing over who should be served next at the coffee bar and I sense escalating hostility, should I aim for the legs and remind them of the campus Shared-Values Statement (which reads, in part, Boise State strives to provide a culture of civility and success where all feel safe and free from discrimination, harassment, threats or intimidation)? While our city police chief has expressed grave concerns about allowing guns on campus, I would point out that he already has one. Im glad that you were not intimidated by him, and did not allow

Phoebes office nightmares

By Phoebe him to speak at the public hearing on the bill (though I really enjoyed the 40 minutes you gave to the National Rifle Association spokesman). Knee-jerk reactions from law enforcement officials and university presidents are best set aside. Ignore, for example, the lame argument that some drunken frat boys will fire their weapons in violation of best practices. This view is based on stereotypical depictions of drunken frat boys, a group whose dignity no one seems willing to defend. The problem, of course, is not that drunken frat boys will be armed; it is that they are drunken frat boys. Arming them is clearly not the issue. They would cause damage with or without guns. I would point out that urinating against a building or firing a few rounds into a sorority house are both violations of the same honor code. In terms of the campus murder rate zero at present I think that we can all agree that guns dont kill people, people with guns do. Which is why encouraging guns on campus makes so much sense. Bad guys go where there are no guns, so by adding guns to campus more bad guys will spend their year abroad in London. Britain has incredibly restrictive laws their cops dont even have guns! and gun deaths there are a tiny fraction of what they are in America. Its a perfect place for bad guys. Some of my colleagues are concerned that you are encouraging firearms within a densely packed concentration of young people who are away from home for the first time, and are coincidentally the age associated with alcohol and drug experimentation, and the commission of felonies. Once again, this reflects outdated thinking about students. My current students have grown up learning responsible weapon use through virtual training available on the Xbox and PlayStation. Far from being enamored of violence, many studies have shown, they are numb to it. These creative young minds will certainly be stimulated by access to more technology at the university, items like autoloaders, silencers and hollow points. I am sure that it has not escaped your attention that the library would make an excellent shooting range, and the bookstore could do with fewer books and more ammo choices. I want to applaud the Legislatures courage. On a final note: I hope its members will consider my amendment for bulletproof office windows and faculty body armor in Boise State blue and orange. Greg Hampikian is a professor of biology and criminal justice at Boise State University and a coauthor of Exit to Freedom.

A photo I took of Brisbane City I can see my beloved office building! yay! The lid of my pop top water bottle has slipped out of my hand. It has slipped out, clipped the counter and landed mouth side down on the floor of the kitchen at my work. I am disgusted. The feet of a thousand disgruntled employees have graced the spot where my innocent bottle top now lays. This unfortunate little event signals the beginning of another week of work in the land that time forgot, my office building. Last weeks highlight occurred on Tuesday at 12:42pm when a co-worker mistakenly thought a young lady at the hotel across the road was sunbaking topless by the swimming pool. The entire male cohort, and some of the women, could hardly contain their excitement at the call of That chicks got no top on! and rushed over to the window to have a good

look. Unfortunately for all of them, he was wrong. It was a horrible trick being played by a light orange strapless bikini and a very tanned young woman. This is what life at my work is like. It isnt a bad workplace by any means, its just slow. I feel like poor Edward Norton in Fight Club. Sometimes I come to at a meeting with no idea how I got there or how long Ive been there for. Dazed and very confused I try to piece together bits of information, narrowing my eyes at the agenda in front of me and peering at the notes taken by the person to my left. Luckily for me there is usually at least one person who falls asleep during meetings and distracts from my blank, expressionless face. A real note a co-worker left on my desk

once. Heart warming, aint it? Office life is the same for most people, I think. A never ending cycle of passive aggressive notes stuck up in the toilet or kitchen, inevitably involving overuse of bold and underlined font. Theres the regular gripes about stationary related problems and the familiar smell of stale coffee and long abandoned Tupperware containers in the communal fridge. Like a bad episode of meerkat manor, the slightest noise evokes 50 tiny heads popping up from behind cubicle walls. I learnt this the hard way while moving floors last year. I misjudged a tight corner while trying to manoeuvre an over-loaded flatbed trolley and sent my documents, computer and stationery hurtling toward a metal cubicle wall. The judging eyes of my colleagues gazed down on me as I turned the deepest shade of crimson and scurried to gather everything up and slip back into the beige nothingness of office life. One positive, however is you dont need to worry about fashion if you work here. There was a guy who wore the same tracksuit to work every single day for a year. A tracksuit. Not a funky Adidas tracksuit, one of the super dodgy, saggy ones that only your Grandpa would be able to find and purchase. I once saw a guy take casual Friday to the next level by showing up in red board-shorts, an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt with a yellow mesh (MESH!) singlet underneath and, to finish it all off, blue Crocs. I wouldnt say Im an avid Croc-hater, but on this particular day I wished theyd never been created.
a ou at f. y ! e ? t v h o l elie I rig n I k. Am t more tha d beyond b different r o w o o oing t ndied abou complicate ned by tw T it) to g t u o is ba sig ab OS thing ocess are ry process have that t it (yes, P forward it d o o g os k nd pr ve m, e only mline the pite this, e ill out a for sign it. P at email a ft ear. Blin oot h T . e Coffe ords strea ncert. Des proved? F have themice, take th ide your le your left f t s f The w irection co ething ap irector andom that of e them in down, pu y-Pokey. m e p e r D D One to have so that to a an email f ins and ta ater upsid office Hok I Want isors. Take d. Wait for o silver co glass of w pleted the terday ting s e Y v w r a n t . m re sit co ng supe Queensla hen take rity he co-worker drinki ouve just o i t e r l , i h p t a h r No er are o times w out and y re low very sick ould listen h a t o s n e s c w to a y forty-tw left foot practi ly to find a yone who etailing hi ious? e l r t n u c e i o r d n a r y g ex ake s. al hy py room o to tell eve pluttering, are you se I can t r e n n e e h s so in t atulation y and g photoco up post g and s. Ummmm my desk just r s n i e g n e t h n r e h t g o k u e C on co ouve re cou y from had ta k from minut Comm alking bac y chair. He He sat the ors for 15 rcass awa verything y nt lumbar a . t was w desk, in m ick he was of specta e riddled c y burning e with dece r l p l at my just how s ored grou our diseas stematica desk chai w move! , writing o e about oms to a b ely. Move y cess of sy rs to find a ll over it, n ome offic o t h t a a r a p y p e ye di sym imme e tiresome taken me onic plagu sitting in m p u t , b s s th Ge ence feral. It ha rubbed bu y own bos m m o t u c s Im m ed, yo ve ju touch rt and you day when a suppo aming of e r Im d

me. Until then, Im going to have to all day with my dog asleep next to ere I work and enjoy the frustrated continue to see the funny side of wh fashion. Truth is, Ill probably miss notes, boring meetings and terrible need to come back for writing it when I do eventually leave and will inspiration! Phoebe littlegreybox. r work issues come up, what are you Obviously we all have these same d oye comments below :) If you enj gripes? Air your dirty laundry in the nds (but probably not your coreading, share this post with your frie workers). littlegreybox.net Written by Phoebe on http://

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH :

HARRIS SEKYAYA HEINSTINGS

Harris, born on 8th March 2012, is the son of famous Award winning Ugandan film maker Patrick Sekyaya and his TV show producer & Script Writer wife HiraaMazhar. The couple met in beautiful Zanzibar where Patrick had gone to present a film workshop where he met Hiraa who was on a vacation. When Sekyaya's eyes landed on Hiraa, he liked what he saw and he couldn't stop talking to her all night - It was a long night of laughter and jokes - Sekyaya then decided to cancel his flight to Kampala so that the two could book the same flight back to Kampala. The rest, as they say, is history Harris, who recently celebrated his second birthday, is very social and loves making new friends. His father, the owner of Afri Plus Films,says Harris is a natural in front of the camera.I have recently invested in a brand new camera especially for him, to groom him for the future. The two year old,is the youngest Movie Producer on the continent as his credit is seen in Uganda's most successful movie of 2013 (The Ugandan) which among others awards also won an AMAA for best child actor last year. Harris has already made his debut on the red carpet when he walked alongside his father at the Ugandan premiere of The Ugandan on 25th October 2013. Harris loves playing like any other kid his age. His favourite food is pasta and chicken. He loves dancing, currently his favourite track is Royals by Lorde and ofcourse for a couple that is fully into film and Television, their little soldier, as his father likes to refer to him is already in love with performing for anyone that comes into his house.

THE DAY UGANDA POLICE HAD MY BACK

By Lindseykukunda

ecause I do not want to get these nice men in trouble by identifying their workplaces, I shall deliberately conceal the exact location of where this incident occurred. Its going to be tricky, but lets see. It was in a taxi. I know. Me and the taxi stories. Be patient. Youll like this one. This taxi conductor lied to me when he told me he could take me where I wanted to go. Instead, he took me half way the distance. I had given him Shs 1000 and was expecting Shs 500 back. The heifer refused. No matter where you stop, the journey is Shs 1000, he said. First of all, it isnt, I corrected him. Its not rush hour for that nonsense to apply. Second of all, you looked me right in the eye, and told me you would stop me where I wanted to go. Now Im going to have to use another Shs 500 to get there. Give me my balance! Eh, you think you can shout at me here? he said. Kaale. Driver, tugende! The conductor closed the door and, deaf to the entreaties of the other passengers in the taxi on my behalf, the driver drove on to their final destination, and deposited me in a taxi park. Now you walk back, they laughed, as they drove off. If I were a superhero at that moment, my name would have been Inferno. The rage started in my toes and swirled all the way to the tips of my hair. I had noted down their license plate number and was determined to get my revenge. I happened to be late for a meeting, but as far as I was concerned, I was on a quest for something more important: some motherfucking justice. I approached the nearest police station and narrated my ordeal. I was, in all honesty, very surprised at what happened next. Ill call these two cops Hero and Awesome.

sounded more But these taxi men and their kamanyiro! Hero we talk about how to pissed than I was. Gwe Awesome, come and deal with these people. s. I hovered nearby as they spoke in hushed tone e asked. But what law shall we say they broke? Awesom of the traffic penal Well say they broke Section 2 under Article 15 code, Hero responded. was as baffled as I But what is that one? Does it exist? Awesome was. know the law? Us, Meh, who cares? What can they say? Do they we are the law. Lets use that one! 2mpozi it was Okay, Awesome said. Erm, Section 2, Section Article what? code Hero obliged. Section 2 under Article 15 of the traffic penal red me to follow They spent some time memorizing it, and orde spirits lifted as we them. I felt my case was in good hands, and my t. trotted to the offices of the taxi park managemen ager in charge After being told what the problem was, the man us. (well call him Sorry) was understandably furio responsible for what How is that my problem? he snapped. Am I number. Its not these taxi men do? I dont even know this plate supposed to use this park. ybe you need to Tough, was Awesomes general response. Ma were allowed have better security. All we know is these thieves You deal with the to access this taxi park, and drop this girl here. your own time. matter now, and you can look for them later on e as wide as Me, deal with the matter now? Sorrys eyes wer saucers. How? n he replied: Refund Heros face was as serious as Robocops whe her transport. faces begun to take Sorry stared at them in total shock. When their in his pockets. He on a menacing look, he cursed and dug around handed me Shs 1000. I had in mind. I I begun to worry. This was not the kind of justice ffs. I wanted them wanted those taxi men delivered to me in handcu . I wanted them to on their knees begging me not to press charges

PAY, motherfucker! Hero went one better. Who are you giving Shs 1000? he snapped. Isnt that how much she needs to get back to her destination? Sorry was, once again, understandably curious. Awesome explained matters to him more clearly. This girl has suffered severe emotional distress. How do you expect her to trust another taxi after what she has been through? Heh?! She needs to take a boda. There was another two minutes of furious eyeballing between Sorry and the two cops. And how much will this boda cost? he had the sense to ask. I couldnt believe what was happening. Ten thousand shillings, Hero said. Ten thousands shillings! Sorry exploded. Its three thousand, maximum! It seems you do not understand whats happening here, Awesome interjected. We know that you let hooligans use this taxi park. Going around kidnapping young girls and stealing their money. This can become a more complicated affair than a transport refund. Do you understand? Hero added quickly: The law has been broken here. Section 2 under Article 15 of the traffic penal code. Sorry understood. He gave me Shs 10,000. Hero and Awesome, satisfied, patted me on the shoulder and escorted me to a safe boda stage. They waved benignly as I rolled away. Poor Sorry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
13/04/2014 Erasmus Okello JemimahZaweddeLugayizi 14/04/2014 AbubakerKiguli Alexandra Deschamps Allan Lwanga Dias Afan Martin Mutyaba Lambert Chris Mulindwa RitahNassazi 15/04/2014 Bategeka Edward Binyamin Rukwengye ByaruhangaDeo Jason Ntaro Kajura Allan Kamukama Diana Wolfgang H. Thome 16/04/2014 David Kiiza KabahukyaFaridah Kaboyo Bob Araali Kata Joel 17/04/2014 Amodoi Jude EmielVanbesien Larry Agaba Maxine Rabonyo 18/04/2014 Deus Nyakaana Dirk Van Merode Kaggwa Martin Leah Schwartz Feyereisen Peter Businge Prof-Mutumba George Martin Keynes Steven Kirenga M 19/04/2014 BasemeraJosphine Bryant Gavin 20/04/2014 Mark Anthony Patrick MiramagoKatungi 21/04/2014 Isaac Mpagi JermainPalmen 22/04/2014 Joshua Sewankambo KarolynaKarungi Kaka Keno Nyeko Sunday Ronnie 23/04/2014 Clovis Kabaseke Habyarimana Paul Liffy Jam G Lucille Atwooki Marilyn 24/04/2014 BusingeAbidWeere LucieChihandae Mwaule Peter Nabalende Lynda Phidelis Paul Mwaga Ruthie Kasumba Sheila Ima 25/04/2014 Eve Mashoo Stacy Peterson Iglesias Jackie Tusiime Charles Kasumba KweziUrayenezaOnesmus Rafayili Mariko Sophia Kichou 26/04/2014 Akora Benedict Ankunda Jared Gerald Conner Provoost HeriTungaraza Isaac Kamugo Marvin Kakuru Mwana Aisha Maami 27/04/2014 Agn? Kanapeckait? Wabwile Collins Daniel Ranga Laura Byaruhanga Mucunguzijoshua Mugabe OsendeMw'Afrika Prayz Law Suppaduppa Poet Brenda Bitts Talkative Rocker WidmerBerckmans 28/04/2014 Ainomugisha Rita Arnold Sengooba 29/04/2014 Anite Cathy Roger Bambino Tom Oketch 30/04/2014 ImatIyelAbonyo Stella M Oduka 01/05/2014 Albert Magara Alex Kirungi MwanjeSavio ShamimKheir Terrence Musiitwa

02/05/2014 Jackie Tumuhairwe Joseph Kimbowa Lubowa John Rogers MusokeEnoc Myers Murumu PhionaghWerikhe 03/05/2014 Andrew Bugembe David Martin Griffith Don Pedro BagzAkiiki Emma EmorimorOumo GizemAkat Nakiwala Claire OnesmusOnizAkiiki Peter Kakoma Robert MudangaKaggwa Sebutemba Vincent Ssekagya Paul Tony Lala 04/05/2014 Boniface Vuchirii Ivan Mugisha Sabakaki Julius 05/05/2014 Angel RuNa AyebazibweTadeo Gook Akanga Lenny Kwishashe Michael Niyitegeka NajimahKaturamu Suda Samuel Timothy TimDoggSsebulime W-ymrwtVivica ZabaliFlaviaMusisi 06/05/2014 Bob Nturwabakye Christine Kabeireho Kusiima Judith 07/05/2014 Bobby Muhumuza Carolina Ekua Annan Brown Ssali Martin 08/05/2014 Franklin Asiimwe Nsubuga Peter Paul Rukundo Sandra Ayebare Solomon Iguru 09/05/2014 Kyomuhendo Phillip 10/05/2014 Francis Fuller Bbosa HellenIzamaMusaba 11/05/2014 Arnold MugaggaLwasa Ben Lule Muhumuza Brian 12/05/2014 Barishaki Ivan

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...It are is said no t and w mo hat m cha re w any rge Ken d f illing or to yan m b tra ffic e stop en offe p nce ed s.