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VoL 10, No. 13 0 University Community's Feature Paper * Apr.

27, 1989
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page three page eleven

page seven back page

Polity Election Results on Page Three

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- The Fourth Estate: Editorial

This place is in trouble.


DISPOSED ing garbage at sea is bad because it all washes up on now offers a cheap, degradable version of its product.
Because Long Island has the dubious distinction of the beaches, and burying garbage on the land is no This is a trend that should definitely be encouraged.
being the most densely-populated stretch of sub- good because it gets into our drinking water, so we'd Disposable coffee cups that will outlast western civ-
urbia in existence, the shit is hitting the fan here, turd better stop that stuff right now for the sake of our ilization are a bad idea, no matter what the styrofoam
by stinking turd, a lot sooner than it is anywhere else fragile ecosystem (not to mention our lucrative coast- boys tell you.
on the planet And if you aren't hip to it already, kids, al developments). Sounds good on the surface, but Our own university administration is also doing an
you're gonna be, whether you finish reading this ed- what the heck do you do with all that crap now that intelligent thing in encouraging the recycling of waste
itorial or not Unless some serious action is taken in you can't just chuck it in a hole or toss it in the paper, something that not only cuts down on garbage,
the next few years, this tract of upper-middle class water? but saves money, too (which is, of course, why they're
developments and interchangeable retail modules Well, goddamn You burn it! What's a little toxic doing it in the first place). On the student level,
will be hip-deep in its own consumer-processed de- ash among friends? At least if that gunk washes up on NYPIRG is encouraging both individual involvement
tritus, and that's no lie. the beach, you can't tell it from the sand. Not until and governmental reform to help the recycling move-
The United States produces more garbage than weird lumps start to grow on your body ten years ment gain a little headway.
any other country in the world, and Long Islanders later, anyhow. Incinerators! Sounds like a swell idea Think about it There's a finite amount of room in
produce more garbage than anyone else in the United Let's build eleven of 'em right away! the world, and if civilizations keep manufacturing
States. Now, until fairly recently, being the garbage And that' s the plan, kids. Build lots of incinerators things that refuse to break down in nature-from
capital of the world hasn't been a problem. We've just and send clouds upon billowing clouds of poisonous foam plastics to nuclear waste-there will eventually
been burying all the styrofoam fast-food containers ash into the sky, or, if the EPA crowd gets on your be no place to put them. Why not surprise your chil-
and plastic detergent bottles in the ground or dump- case, put filtration devices in the smokestacks to keep dren and their children by actually thinking slightly
ing them in that big blue ocean. Even when we ran out a lot of the nasty ash in the furnace to be carted away beyond next week? If the problem of garbage pro-
of room in the LI/metropolitan area, we began send- and buried-only problem is, burying this stuff is lot duction is not stopped at its source, future gener-
ing it out for disposal to places fit for little more than more dangerous than burying the garbage itself in the ations will end up eating the stuff for breakfast It's
garbage dumps (useless wastelands like upstate New first place. hard to get motivated-we at The Press, for all our
York and parts of the midwest), and that might have So, what's the solution? As Suffolk County is slowly big talk, only recently began recycling our wealth of
been expensive, but it was working okay, too, until a beginning to realize, producing less garbage and re- waste paper (no snide comments, please)-but make
lot of those places decided they didn't want our styro- cycling everything possible from what we do produce the effort to be responsible. There are local com-
foam fast-food containers and plastic detergent bot- is pretty much the only way to go. The landmark anti- munity recycling programs as well as those at USB,
tles anymore because they had enough of their own to styrofoam law, to take effect in the near future, will and once you find out what and where they are, it's not
take care of remove a large segment of non-biodegradable junk too hard to actually participate. You might as well get
That left us in a bind. from our waste streams. Following suit, the Finast used to it now, because someday you won't have a
See, "environmentally conscious" lawmakers, re- chain of supermarkets has introduced biodegradable choice.
sponding to public outcry, decided that, well, dump- plastic grocery bags and a trash bag manufacturer

- Letters
equal opportunity offer, open to
anyone, regardless of race, relig-
cision to run.-By your next issue, -
the election will have already
The
One-Time ion, or sexual perversion. How-
ever, the best candidates would be
passed, so that the point seems
moot. Whatever damage was
Stony Brook
Offer
incurable fanatics, deranged lun-
atics, and revolutionary Guards.
done, was done. However, I am
disappointed considering my en- Press
Alex Varsany tire year working with The Press
Returning Student on vouchers, advertising and oth- Editor-in-Chief ....... ....... Kyle Silfer
DearSirs: er Polity issues. Managing Editor ........... . Karin Falcone
In response to the bounty put on ShariSacks Business Manager ............... John Dunn
the head of the novelist, Salman Editor Emeritus ............ Craig Goldsmith
Rushdie, by the holy men of Iran, I
would like to announce a reward
for the assassination of the Aya-
Never The Press replies: Questionnaires
were available in the Polity suite to News and Feature: David Alistair, Christopher
Chen, Robert V. Gilheany, Diane Schutz
candidates turning in their peti-
tollah Ruhollah Khomeini My
offer is ninety-nine cents in cold,
hard cash-no questions asked. I
Got One tions. A few candidates, however,
through some strange twist of fate, Arts: Lee Gundel, Alexandra Odulak Robert
admit, less than a dollar doesn't To Whom It May Concern. failed to receive one. All were track- Rothenberg
buy much in these inflationary I am writing in response to the ed down and accosted by diligent
times, but let' s not forget the prize leading comments put under my staff members except for you and Graphics: Allain Atienza, James Blonde, Ed Bridges,
comes in good old American dol- name in regard to the Polity elec- two others, who were approached Arlene Donnelly, Rachel Elkind, Sanford Lee, Steve
lars, the preferred currency of the tions [last issuej. I did not turn in a at the Senate meeting you mention. Schmitz, Joseph Sterinbach, Aaron Zimmerman
international underworld, not in questionnaire because I never re- Perhapsyou misunderstood ourin-
Mickey-Mouse Ayatollah-money. ceived one. (No one handed me or vitation, but you could have an- Production: Mike Blake, Donna Greene, Erika
If my first offer doesn't generate approached me with a question- suwered the one question asked of Votruba
enough interest, rm willing to naire.) you at any point that evening, not
double it-but only in return for I was, however, approached the just Right Then and There. Sorry, The Stony Brook Press is published bi-week-
some extra frills. Any kind of slow night before Press production but life goes on. ly on Thursdays (barring recesses) during the
torture like dismemberment with during a budgetary Senate meet- academic year and irregularly during the sum-
a blunt cleaver, or being pulled ing. Of course, it would have been mer session by The Stony Brook Press Inc, a
apart by a team of camels is OK extremely inappropriate for me to student run and student funded not-for-profit
An ingenious job deserves a gen- leave, considering that I was at the corporation. Advertising policy does not nec-
erous bonus. What's more, I would meeting to answer questions and essarily reflect editorial policy. Ad copy due by
Letters should be typed or clearly Sp on the Monday prior to publication. For
grant three bucks- read my lips- to provide information so that the handwritten and written in some
three bucks of my hard-earned process ran smoothly. I am the more information on advertising call
form of comprehensible English. 632-6451.
money should the assassin be able Student Polity Co-treasurer, who, Drop them off, slip them under the Staff meetings are held weekly in the Press
to prove beyond any reasonable with the Treasurer, actually pro- door, or mail them to us here at020 offices at approximately 7:30PM Monday.
doubt that the imam had AIDS, poses the budget with the advice Central Hall. Letters full of irrel- The opinions expressed in letters and view-
molested little boys, masturbated and consent of the Council and the evence, syntactical redundancy, points do not necessarily reflect those of our
while reading the Holy Koran-or Senate. bad grammar, or sloppy spelling staff.
was an undercover CIA agent. You did not say in your article are subject to editing for clarity.
I would also like to point out that I was approached in the - I - -- Phone: 632-6451
that the mullahs are giving bigotry above-stated circumstance and Office:
a bad name by openly preferring a that I would have gladly answered Suite 020 Central Hall
Moslem perpetrator. Mine is an any questions concerning my de- S.U.N.Y. at Stony Brook
Stony Brook, NY 11794-2790
page 2 The Stony Brook Press
Blowing the Whistle
by Robert Rothenberg returned to him and the two have not re- form their usual duties as unstatused Pub- sistance. And that's what happened I got
Two Public Safety officers have brought ceived explanations as to why their status lic Safety officers, and an ill-equipped Le- injured... When I get injured, my family suf-
suit against several USB administration of- was originally removed (Gagliardo claims ver was injured assisting in an arrest and is fers from it I have three kids and...rm no
ficials over alleged violations of their civil that they "are the only two Public Safety currently under a doctor's care, according good to them either," Lever said, in a tele-
rights. "[When] we blow the whistle on officers in the last ten years at Stony Brook to Gagliardo. "It's an embarassment to phone interview from his home.
something, we're tired of getting hammered that had their status revoked . de-site the them...They we-ren't told why they were According to Gagliardo, Thomas Krajew-
for it," said Kevin Paukner, who with ski, an Assistant Director of Public Safety
Charles Lever initiated the $13+ million (and another defendant) had his-secretary
lawsuit. call "Lever at home while he (was] in bed
"They've engaged in whistleblowing and and [tellj him that he was stripping him of
being critical of the mismanagement of the any sick time that he may be entitled to
way the Public Safety Department at Stony ...which is against Department policy, and
Brook has been run," said Joseph Gagli- frankly, it's against the union contract"
ardo, their attorney. "What has occurred Lever said: "It bothers me every time that
since then is a systematic and repeated Kevin and myself try and enhance the de-
form of harassment against Mr. Paukner partment and make it more professional,
and Mr. Lever for bringing these sorts of and we get penalized for it r m also having a
things to light" hard time understanding how the Univer-
"It's a helluva coincidence that they both sity can spend the amount of money they do
happen to be union officers," Gagliardo to send individuals to the academy...and
said Paukner is the Unit Chairman and take away the status that they trained them
Lever a shop steward for the campus local for."
of the American Federation of State, City "There is a certain amount of harass-
and Municipal Employees (AFSCME). In ment," Paukner explained, "to the point
retribution for their actions, both officers where, being a union representative, you
claim they were stripped of their peace have to have a certain amount of time off to
officer status without a proper hearing to Was: Gary Barnes Is: Richard Young investigate grievances." When time it is re-
give them the opportunity to defend them- Press File Photos quested, however, "they deny us...we argue
selves, and also suffered interference and fact that officers have been disciplined for stripped of their status. No hearing was over it"
tampering from bureaucratic higher-ups in various things...none of those officers had set..No charges were brought against Lever concurred: "They don't want to
Public Safety with their arrest paperwork. their status revoked") them...Their status was taken away by a deal with us; they don't want to talk with us
Paukner was recently restored his peace Without peace officer status, an officer simple letter from the President," he said. las union representativesl, and that makes
officer status by acting Public Safety Di- cannot make an arrest (although he may "Nobody wants to be arrested..and if for bad relations. How can you get things
rector Richard Young, (a defendant in the assist), nor may he carry nightsticks or they're...a little bit high or whatever the accomplished...?" Lever said.
case) but Lever has yet to have his status Mace. However, the two men had to per- case may be, there's gonna be a lot of re- continued on page 9

-kulduggery
E ection
by David Alistair capture a plurality (the highest percentage)
Violations of Student Polity voting pro-
cedures have invalidated the candidacies of
two presidential candidates and caused the
Board Files Charges of the vote, he would be allowed to parti-
cipate as a candidate in any run-off. Ac-
cording to Election Board parliamentarian
William Fox, the judiciary's actions were
results of the Student Activity Fee refer-
endum to be scrapped. "very unusuaL" Fox, who was asked by the
The Election Board grievance commit- judiciary to serve as an unofficial advisor,
tee-a body consisting of David Nichols, elaborated: "Basically, the sense I got from
chair of the Election Board; William Burke, them was that they wanted to make gra-
vice chair; Jodi Ellenbogen, chief justice of dations of severity of punishment..They
the Polity judiciary, and Mark Joachim, didn't feel he [Abrahamj quite understood
Polity treasurer- followed up evidence and how the rules worked." Abraham's votes
testimony in four cases of Election Board had been counted prior to the hearing, but,
bylaw violations. Presidential candidates said Fox, only he, Nichols, and Burke knew
Michael Lutas and Sorin Abraham were the results. Abraham's 29.197/ of the vote
charged with printing and distributing cam- was a plurality, effectively negating the ju-
paign flyers in excess of the 700 permitted, diciary's action, and placing him on the May
candidate for senior representative Shair- 4 run-off ballot with opponent Esther Las-
een Rasheed was charged with election- tique.
eering within 100 feet of a polling place, and Another complaint against Abraham,
the Student Activity Fee referendum was lodged by presidential candidate Brian
declared invalid by the board due to poll- .James,was dismissed by both the grievance
watching violations. All four cases were committee and the judiciary for lack of ev-
heard Monday, April 24, by the Polity stu- idence. James claimed Abraham was elec-
dent judiciary. tioneering in the G-Quad hockey pit during
Lutas was found guilty of the charges a game, placing him within 100 feet of sev-
brought against him, and stripped of his eral polling locations.
candidacy by the judiciary. As a result, his Rasheed was found not guilty of elect-
votes were counted as if he were a write-in ioneering because she had not been given
choice, allowing him a chance for election if the second page of the campaign rules by
his tally amounted to a majority (50; of the the Election Board, a sign, it was decided, of
votes, plus one), but barring him from being unequal treatment The judiciary also up-
placed on any run-off ballots. Lutas's votes held the board's invalidation of the Activity
had not been counted at the time of the Fee referendum due to violations of article
hearing, but his 18.88w; of the total vote XIV, section 5 of the Election Board bylaws
turned out to be well below the necessary ("Pollwatchers are allowed to encourage
margin. students to vote as long as it is non-partisan
Abraham was also found guilty as char- encouragement"). Consequently, the ref-
ged. and while the judiciary stripped him of erendum will be on the ballot for the May 4
his candidacy, the action was modified with run-off and the results of the April 17 vote
the proviso that if Abraham had managed to will be destroyed.
April 27, 1989 page 3
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ity Fee referendum. Because if it |
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doesn't pass, there will be no fund-
ing for any Polity-sponsored activ-
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Ino SAB concerts, no radio station,I mz

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College, no resident :
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legislatures, no anything that exists
any oforganizatomsývoteY
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cular activities appeals to you,
then, by all means, vote down the
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ciate if,
anyhowever, you use or appre-
of the above-mentioned j!
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page 4 TheStony Brook Press


Garbage Apocalypse
Stopping Paper Waste at Its Source
by Quinn Kaufman erators not only depletes the Earth's prec- shipped out of state to other landfills or every Wednesday-paper day-university
"Our University will be the role model for ious ozone layer, but emits harmful dioxins barges. Unlike any other school on the workers pick up the boxes and bring them to
all of Long Island and the rest of society," into our atmosphere. Island, USB will meet the potential garbage a warehouse where the paper is sorted.
said Stony Brook's Provost Jerry Schubel, Just as scientists battle to prevent ill- disaster head-on by using less plastic and Fehling said, since the recycling project
regarding the Island's imminent, catastro- nesses, Schubel said Stony Brook will com- carboard to box goods, composting (using began in Fall of 1989, the University will
phic garbage problem. Nowhere in the garbage as a fertilizer), and recycling more save $100,000 per year by avoiding the cost
world, he said, is garbage disposal more paper and aluminum garbage than ever of having to haul this waste to landfills. In
serious than on Long Island, where seven before. addition, USB's contracted paper vendor,
pounds of garbage per person/per day is Specifically, because of the decrease in Suffolk Tab, has been buying Stony Brook's
collected compared to a National average of paper garbage at landfills, Stony Brook will used computer paper--its most valuable
under five pounds per person/per day. be saving the Island's ground water from paper waste-at a fixed price of $162.50
The garbage catastrophe may come to a contamination. By recycling paper, Stony per ton (four cubic yards), ledger paper for
head on December 18, 1990, when all of Brook will conserve both paper and for- $62.50 per ton, cardboard for $12.50 per
Long Island's thirteen landfills close. The ests-a natural resource. ton, and newspapers and magazines for
Long Island Landfill Law ordered the Forests are disappearing because of a $10.00 per ton. Fehling said, however, that
closing of exisiting landfills in an attempt to world-wide paper shortage, according to the profit made by selling Stony Brook's
stop seepage of toxins from un-lined land- Kit Kimberly, Project Coordinator at recycled products to vendors barely pays
fills into the Island's drinking water, which NYPIRG. Forest inhabitants-animals-- the salaries of paper-sorters in the ware-
is derived solely from underground wells. are also vanishing, Kimberly said. "In the house, near the gym.
According to Curtis Fisher, a student west," she explained,"where most of our Fehling also said that lack of paper
representative of the New York Public paper comes from, only 10% of the original sorters in the warehouse sometimes leads
Interest Research Group (NYPIRG), "Long old growth forest remains intact And to unsorted paper, which, in turn, means a
Island is sitting on top of a crisis. Medical when they cut down trees for paper, they ton of un- sorted computer paper will sell for
waste on our beaches and the Islip garbage clear-cut the land, thus, wiping out habi- $5.00 instead of $162.50.
barge circling aimlessly round the world are tats." Old growth trees are 300 years old or After Suffolk Tab buys Stony Brook's
all evidence that we are now in a garbage more, and can live up to 1000 years. recycled paper at these set costs, the paper
crisis." "In society as a whole, paper makes up is then usually shipped to paper mills in the
After the landfills close, all of the Island's less than half of total waste," Schubel Midwest or Upstate New York. At these
estimated yearly production of four million bat the threat garbage poses to the envi- said, "but at Stony Brook, paper is 75-80% mills, the used paper is chemically de-
tons of garbage will have to go elsewhere, ronment "We have found a prevention that of total waste. Paper is the most easily inked, shredded, and ground in a blender
according to Joann Howell, a specialist at will inhibit the catastrophe of what would recycleable part of the waste stream other before being recycled into tissue paper,
the New York State Department of Envi- occur, come December 1990, when landfills than aluminum cans.'" cardboard, toilet paper, or paper towels,
ronmental Conservation. Existing landfill close. Had we not started our garbage plan Ken Fehling, Campus Recycling and among other products, according to David
operators are trying to conceive new ap- now,...Long Island-whose 2.6 million pop- Waste Management Coordinator, explain- Newton, Suffolk County Recycling Coor-
proaches to the disposal of solid waste. ulation exceeds 50% of the population of all ed that, in September of 1988, Stony Brook dinator.
Besides three incinerators presently on states-would not have .asingle place' to "kicked up its major revision, in which every Newton and university officials estimate
Long Island, another eleven will be built. di pose of its exceedingl higraib-ýintlt of" eon eampus was eggiped with.
single ffice -hat recycled paper costs 25-40% more
However, Schubel said,"a lot of people are garbage." paper-recycling boxes." than virgin paper.The high cost forrecycled
opposed to incinerators because they cre- When landfills are no longer available, The labelled- recycling boxes are filled paper exists because the demand for it is
ate instant pollution." Fisher, for instance, Schubel said, garbage will not be dumped with computer paper, ledger sheets, mag- low. "People are prejudiced against buying
azines, newspapers, or scrap paper. Then, continued on page 10
claimed that the "fly-away ash" from incin- into our already dirtied waters, nor will it be

-Footnotes
0ON. CAPU American diplomacy, generally dismal This is not because m lFii
li IIII I. .
our engineers are better people than our diplomats. It's
because effective diplomacy requires a great deal of sec-
We Missed You recy and duplicity. Our society doesn't allow the necessary Every Day Is Earth Day
Worried about finding a job after graduation that won't
Not to plug shamelessly or anything, but the Record Van is deceits. fd bet on the engineers." In other words, we can all
make you sick with self-loathing? Well, the New England
back, and with it cheap, decent used records and tapes still act like brain-damaged children as long as our tech-
Environmental Career Fair might be foryou. In the words of
ranging from $1.00 to $5.00 a pop. Since the time when nology will keep us from killing each other. The only ques-
organizer Katherine Honey, the fair "will provide a unique
roving vendors were banished to the Union bi-level by tion missing here is"Q21: Will SDI let us blou' the shit out of
opportunity for professionals and students of environment-
administrators unknown, the Van vanished into the mists of those goddamn Soviets without the risk of a retaliatory
al disciplines to meet with companies recruiting exclusively
legend, its bountiful crates of records no longer available to strike?' Well, you can ask them that yourself. Write or call:
for positions in the environmental fields." So, for swell jobs
be pawed through by cost-conscious students. Now, how- High Frontier, 1010 Vermont Avenue NW, Washington,
with no pangs of guilt for damage inflicted on the biosphere
ever, it has returned, and may be found with its legendary DC 20005. (202) 737-4979.
by your employers, take a trip to Boston, Mass. this May 9,
booty in the bi-level flea market on certain blessed Mon-
10, and 11. The fair will be held in the Hynes Convention
days.
Center, and for more information call (508) 222-2254 or
Last One write: P.O. Box 2179, Attleboro, MA 02703. Prescreening
likeminded
Um. The last in the Stony Brook Film Society's series for forms are available to help you link up with
Staying Alive the academic year is Marcel Carne's Children Of Para-
dise. The date is May 10, the time 7 PM, and the location the
companies.
Winding up this semester's Distinguished Lecture Series,
the Reverend William Sloane Coffin, president of the anti- Union Auditorium. Admission $2.00. Go.
nuclear group SANE/FREEZE, will offer his views on what
people need to do "For the World to Survive." Handy
Bring Back Herb
No, not the guy who had the good sense not to eat Burger
information to have. Obtaining it is easy- be in the Staller King food...Cannabis sativa: dope, hash, weed, grass. That
Center Recital Hall at 4p. i onThursday, May 4. And listen stuff. The Coalition for 100% Drug Reform is sponsoring a
real hard.
Put on a Happy Face Safe Drugs Rally in NYC's Washington Square Park on
time at Stony Brook! Touted as "a
Hooray! It's Open House May 6 at 11AM. Their flyer says they want to stop AIDS,
day for the entire family," USB is apparently trying to make violence, US interventionism, and crack/PCP use. Appar-
ently decriminalization of marijuana will lead to this, so
Sadly Devoid of Intelligence nice with its estranged surrounding communities with a PR
party for all and sundry. How exciting a "wellness clinic for they're behind that, too. Interesting to see an anti-drug
published by High Frontier, a pro-SDI
There's this booklet
free blood pressure screening" and "demonstrations by group that isn't anti-all drugs. For more info, contact either
lobbying group, and it's being distributed on campus by a The Coalition for 100% Drug Reform (No. 9 Bleecker St,
group of young boys and girls who may or may not be the science departments" will be is another story, but a craft
fair and a lacrosse game ought to amuse somebody. If you NYC, (212) 995-1245) or the people who dropped off a
College Republicans. The title is "20 Questions" and, to hand-colored flyer for us: Greens at the Brook (P.O. Box
give you a taste of what's inside, here's one of them-"Q 1: want a look at how USB officials present our wonderful
institution to the public, check this out It might be en- 294, East Setauket, NY 11733).
Shouldn'twe place our hopes on arms controltreatiesinstead
of SDI on diplomacy instead oftechnologkv A: The history of lightening: Saturday, May 6. Noon to 41,M.
American engineering has been brilliant, the history of April 27, 1989 page 5
i;; ;r* V,
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02R L~~n~~~nH~~.~H~,riil9
P for the following positions
are now available:

O&M
Is®gBuv@ (shalir 0A4B AgtiCvitaes ©hai
SAB CoXm&gnD
Chair 0) 8kSpo@gifae@rs and
~~onna~il8~rm ~Llns3Hn
Applications are available at the Polity re-
ceptionist desk and due on Friday, May 5.
The Science Fiction Forum
and WUSB present
Destinies'
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1I4R .......
.

...
...
40
413th Anniversary
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Special rflii..................
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Featuring
aselection of the besti
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: ii . .......

UNION 13AL~OOM1
JM.~ iii~
e~~cth'
Featuring a selection of the best
short stories of the plast year!
Friday night, April 28, 11 :30PM-
12:30AM on WUSB 90.1 FM.

AL
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STUDENT
POLITY
page 6 The Stony Brook Press ASSOCIATION
Ink

Avoidance of Choice
How to Live the Good Life
by Karin Falcone style, Sue never sees far beyond a life of the be ignored
9 to 5, the office, the business suit, city But then again, maybe there's a state-
your life and now that you're about rents, and bars on the windows-made all ment being made that even the author isn't
to graduate and forced out on your worthwhile by good friends and family. intentionally selling Maybe if you wish to
own, you need some quick an- Speaking of which, she relies on this small move up in the business and professional
swers. Easy answers. Perhaps a how-to circle of acquaintances for much of her world, you have to accept commerciality,
book can provide some help. Like maybe research, which consists of opinions by you have to wear designer suits and own
Real Life 101, (Almost) Surviving Your everyone (and no one) from her Aunt Ruthe, new furniture, you have to listen to your
First Year Out of College. to "a couples therapist" Aunt Ruthe. Ah ha
I have a problem with how-to books. Not Kleinman begins Chapter 1 ("Hi Ho, Hi The value of this book, which certainly
books that tell you how to build a bookshelf, Ho, It's Off to Work We Go...- Getting Off doesn't lie in its empirical research, is its
or how to cook Chicken Kiev, but books that to a Good Start at the Office") by saying, insider's view on Yuppie life (minus drugs,
attempt to dictate How to Live Your Life. "This book won't tell you how to find a alcohol and insider trading). By narrowing
"Qualified specialists" saying "Let me tell job...because I refuse to write about job the research sample to people of her own
you the right way to eat, make love, be a hunting" Instead, she talks about dressing ilk, and just being herself throughout, with
man, get a promotion, etc., etc." But a look (Al mst)Sarviviag for success with qualified specialist Marcy corny clever verbosity, Kleinman portrays
the ideal young white upwardly mobile
at the best seller list is testament to their arFirstTear Syms, president of Syms clothing stores,
middle class situation vividly. How can I
lucrative success. who urges readers to (of course) buy quality
In Real Life 101, author Susan Klein- brand names, just like on the TV commer- make my new apartment homey? How can I
man takes a stab at giving you diploma- cial In the chapter"You Must Tell Me Who have an office romance? How am I going to
bearing lost souls a hand, with better in- Your Decorator Isn't," she speaks to the lose those ten pounds?
tentions than your average novelty how-to director of communications for the Furni- Real Life 101 can help you answer those
sleaze pulp. She really wants to help you ture Information Council, who urges rea- pressing questions. As long as there are
through your transition from Yuppie-to-be ders to (guess what?) buy furniture they like people who believe there are easy answers
to Yuppie proper. (Though Yuppie is a to-be, but Kleinman does not acknowledge today, and then buy more furniture when to life's toughest questions, there will be
stale expression from a staler trend, it is much variation in collegiate existence. Op- they're sure of their tastes tomorrow. Such people who capitalize on it It's just good
exactly what she is writing about here.) pressively subjective, even if you take a naive and just plain shoddy interviewing, business.
I'~Ih-t id, by Ma(Islr MA'dia i.td. .'9
• 5•Irtrde pbk.
Not every graduating senior is a Yuppie- liking to her over-animated first-person tainted with commercial punchlines, can't

- The Fourth Estate: Commentary

University Lore uate student to take the exam for him.


rl
professor throws the exams in the air, giving those that stick
by John Dunn
A fraternity member handed in a term paper from the to the ceiling an A, those remaining in the air B' s, those flat
Modern society has sprouted a brand of folklore known on the floor C's and those standing on edge F's. The classic
as urban legends. These stories prey upon the anxieties of house files to his professor, who gave him an
A saying,
while at the same time providing entertainment "When I wrote that paper twenty years ago I knew it story involves the throwing of exams down a flight of stairs
people
Though the bulk of the stories occur in suburbs and cities, deserved an A, and I think it still does." A similar story with A's going to those landing at the top and F's to those at
college campuses have their own variations. Since colleges involves a paper and a very tough grading professor. Word the foot Another professor spreads his exams on the floor,
dips his cat's paw in ink and lets the cat walk on the exams,
are their own little communities, they too are breeding got around campus that it received a B-minus, the highest
ever. It got sold to the highest bidder who turned it into the with the ones with the most paw prints receiving the better
grounds for fanciful tales.
grades. Other professors are known for posting final grades
Campus legends are a combination of fact and fiction. same professor and received a B. The paper was used the
outside the final exam room while students are still taking
There is a grain of truth in them; they seemingly could have next year and received a B-plus. The students were starting
the tests.
happened, which is why they are somewhat believable or, at to wonder when it got handed in the next semester and re-
Professors' behavior in class is another source of stories.
least, popular. No one knows exactly where or to whom the ceived an A. The professor's comment on the paper was,
A professor noticed a student sleeping in class, so he
story first took place, as they generally happen to a friend of " ve read this paper four times now, and I like it better each
stopped lecturing and asked another student to wake him.
a friend of a friend. As they are retold, changes are made to time."
Another tough professor demanded that if a student The student refused, saying, "You put him to sleep, you
enliven them or to adapt the stories to a particular campus.
failed to stop writing when time was called, the student wake him." Another professor, possibly from Stony Brook,
Class titles, professors' names and other details may differ,
gave up trying to lecture over the noise of a construction
but the same basic story concerning term paper grading can failed. One student kept writing a few seconds after time
crew outside the classroom. The professor dismissed the
be found on almost any campus. Other stories may be
class saying, "I can't even hear my own lecture." A student
unique to a given campus at a given time. At the University
responded, "Don't worry, you haven't missed a thing." Fed
of Delaware last year, a popular story was that Debbie
Gibson was going to attend, and even the dorm she was "He smells the burn- up with a student's lack of attention, a professor said, "You
in the back row stand up," upon which command, six stu-
assigned was a part of some tellings. (This was somewhat
believable since a lot of Long Island students attend
ing meat, thinks it's his dents stood up.
Delaware.) On the other hand, most people couldn't have
cared less if Debbie went to UD, so the story died a quick
arm and dies of fright." Then there's the football recruit who failed the math
portion of the entrance exam by answering 7 plus 6 equals
death. 11. The coach pleaded with the examiners, saying "Give
Campus legends involving classes, exams and professors him a break, he only missed by one."
are the most popular ones told. The classic story is that if was called one day. As he went to hand in the exam the Fraternity pledging turns up its assortment of stories. In
your roommate dies or commits suicide, you get a 4.0 for the professor informed him of the rule. The student asked, "Do one story, a pledge is to be singed with a hot poker. The
year. Here are some other gems out there: you know who I am?" The professor responded, "No," so poker is applied to a piece of meat next to the blindfolded
A philosophy exam consists of one word: "Why?" The the studentstuck his exam in the middle of the test pile. The pledge at the same time a piece of dry ice is placed on his
professor gives the lone A to the student who wrote "Why professor got even by handing back the exams individ- skin. He smells the burning meat, thinks it's his arm and
not" Another version involves a metaphysics class in which ually. dies of fright In another story, the pledge is required to
the professor places a chair in front of the room and an- Occasionally things can be true and eventually become a chug a bottle of whiskey, kill a polar bear and have sex with
nounces, "Prove this chair exists." A student receives an A part of campus legends. Here's an example of a legend to an Eskimo woman. After a few days, he returns all bloody
by answering: "What chair?" be: and asks, "Where is the Eskimo woman 'm supposed to
Two years ago at the University of Delaware, a sociology kill?"
A diplomacy exam asked a question involving fishery
rights. A student, knowing nothing on the subject, an- professor announced that if no one in the class attended the There's hundreds more that could be told, but I'd like to
swered, "This issue has been discussed from the American final, the class would receive an A for the final exam since hear some from this campus. Stony Brook seems to lack the
and Japanese points of view, but has anyone considered the the class would learn how to organize and implement a storytelling mystique involved with campus legends. Per-
viewpoints of the fish?" The student received an approp- boycott. Students stayed outside the exam room overnight haps it's because the reality here would be fiction on most
to insure no one got in, since if one person did, those not other campuses or merely because people don't have the
riate C.
civil engineering professor announced an open-book attending would fail The students used a successful boy- time to create them. If you have a favorite campus legend
A
heard either at Stony Brook or even somewhere else, send it
final in which students could use anything they could carry cott and received their A's.
into the exam room. One bright student carried in a grad- Professors' grading of exams draws stories too. One to The Press and we'll try to get them in the next issue.
April 27, 1989 page 7
U

Thursday, Apr. 27 Saturday, Apr. 29 Judy Tenuta


0 at the Palladium IIS
Graham Parker Gorilla Biscuits -and May 5
Pierce Turner Outburst
at Town Hall Badtrip Friday, May 5 X.
at Anthrax
-Surfin Safari Al DiMeola
(Dictators Killing Joke at the Metropolitan
Circus of Power at the New Ritz iXl
Holly Beth Vincent Anthrax
Dick Manitoba) Lazy Lester Helloween
at the Cat Club at Stephen's Talkhouse Exodus
at the Felt Forum
Wayne Horvitz Maureen Tucker -and May 6
at the Knitting Factory at Maxwell's
X1.
-and Apr. 28 Stanley Jordan
Morton Downey, Jr. at the Blue Note
Friday, Apr. 28 at Westbury Music Fair
Saturday, May 6
Doggy Style Raw Youth
Skeletal Ambitions Cucumbers
Seizure at the Pyramid The Bobs
at Anthrax at Symphony Space
Tower of Power
Hot Tuna Chris Rush Cowboy Junkies
at the Lone Roadhouse at Showcase at Town Hall
-thru Apr. 30
Sunday, Apr. 30 Front 242
Johnny Thunders at the Palladium 0
Pandoras Ink Spots
Pilgrim Souls at Queens College Judy Mowatt a,
at Downtown Culture
Wailers at Baystreet
Miracle Legion Third World
Thin White Rope
at MaXwesll'
at Westbury Music Fair

Tuesday, May 2
Underdog
American Standard
00
OqmkL
--
Lf& A
Collapse I5) ..- ~....-.
Red Hot Chili Peppers at Anthrax
Murphy's Law Culture

I) ear ER.OS.
24-7 SPYZ at SOB's Tuesday, May 9
In Your Face -and May 3
0
at Sundance Carl Perkins
Thursday, May 4 at the Bottom Line
Roches 5)
SOLD OUT Bunny Wailer Youssou N'Dour 04

atIMAC at Radio City at the New Ritz 0


Q
Dear EROS,

-e-OF#Oo~omi~OOa~*
OBay Street..............
Long Wharf, Sag Harbor
(516) 725-2297 OThe Meadowlands ...... (201) 778-2888
East Rutherford, NJ
My boyfriend andI have been dating a year and have been having
sexual relations for the past eight months. Lately, I've had a lot of
itching around my genitals. There is no pain, but the itching is very
uncomfortable. Do you think I have VD and maybe caught it from
him?
Itching and Scared
OBeacon Theatre......... (212) 496-7070 OThe Palladium........... (212) 307-7171
74th & Broadway 126 E. 14th St
OThe Blue Note .......... (212) 475-8592 OThe Puck Building...... (212) 431-0987 Dear I&S,
181 W. 3rd Street 299 Lafayette The possibility of catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease from XN
OThe Bottom Line ........ (212) 228-7880 OThe Ritz................ (212) 529-5295 your boyfriend is there. It is possible that he has had no symptoms
15 W. 4th & Mercer 11 th St between 3rd& 4th Ave.
OBradley's ............... ORadio City Music Hall... (212) 757-3100 and passed it on to you. This is why condoms are very impor-
(212) 473-9700
70 University PL DRock-n-Roll Cafe.. ..... (212) 677-7630 tant
OCarnegie Hall .......... (212) 247-7800 149 Bleecker St, It is also possible that you have a vaginal yeast infection, a type of
57 St & 7th Ave. ORoseland.. . ........... (212) 247-0200 vaginitis. Yeast infections can be caused from stress; poor diet, :I:::
OCat Club ................ (212) 505-0090 239 W. 52nd St tight clothing, from the use of oral contraceptives, and from the use
76 E. 13th St OSOB's... ............. (212) 243-4940 Itiiii
-CBGB'a ................ 204 Varick St of antibiotics.
(212) 982-4052 a..
..

315 Bowery & Bleecker OSundance............... (516) 665-2121 Whatever the cause of the itching is, it is important to see a
0 Eagle Tavern ........... (212) 924-0275 217 E. Main St., Bayshore gynecologist to be diagnosed and treated properly. Do not douche;
355 W. 14th St DSweet Basil............ (212) 242-1785 you may push the infection up into the uterus. Douching may clear
OFat Tuesday'a .......... (212) 533-7902 88 7th Ave. South up the symptoms for a while, but not the cause, and it may make a
190 3rd Ave. OTown Hall. ............. (212) 840-2824
OFelt Forum ............. 217 E. Main St, Bayshore diagnosis difficult Abstain from sex until you have finished
(212) 563-8300
@ Penn Station OTramps................. (212) 777-5077 treatment Discuss with your doctor treatment for your partner. If
DIMAC.................. (516) 549-9666 125 E. 15th St your doctor does prescribe treatment for your partner, abstain from
370 New York Ave. U.S. Blues................ (212) 777-5000 sex until both of you have finished treatment
DIrving Plaza ............ (212) 279-1984 666 Broadway
17 Irving Plaza @ E. 15th St OVillage Gate............ (212) 982-9292
OKnitting Factory ........ (212) 219-3055 Bleecker & Thompson
47 E. Houston O Village Vanguard ....... (212) 349-8400
0 Lone Star Cafe......... (212) 242-1664 7th Ave. South
For more information, contact EROS. EROS is a confidential peer counseling organi-
5th Ave. & 13th St. OWestbury Music Fair..... (516) 333-0533
zation located in room 119 Infirmary(632-6450). Letters to DEAR EROS can be dropped
O Lone Star Roadhouse ... (212) 245-2950 Brush Hollow Road, Westbury
offor sent through interoffice mail to 119 Infirmary, or placed in our mail box in the Polity
240 W. 52nd St. West End................. (212) 666-9160
Suite in the Union.
2911 Broadwav
VIP
ýAJL-v
a%R
IAILA
TV
G&.Y
page 8 The Stony Brook Press
- Vibrations,

"HeyH LetsGo!"
The Ramones Deliver in the Gym
W
by Lee Gundel

On
great to be here in Stony Brook," and then, the heart of the dance floor to be moshed
after things had reached a certain level of into submission.
approximately 10:45pM
Saturday, April the Ra-
the 15th, at intensity, he yelled,"ONE, TWO, THREE, The show had other high points, as well,
mones came to the USB gym to FOUR"' and the show began. The band two of them being the band's rendition of
deliver a night of frenzied, fast- soon launched off into one of its favorite the 1950s classic "Surfing Bird," and their
paced rock and roll. And that's exactly what tunes,"Psycho Therapy." The crowd touching anti-child abuse song, "Beat on
they did deliver--a night of down and dirty cheered enthusiastically, and up by the the Brat with the Baseball Bat"
bare-to-the-bone punk rock with the rare stage, where only the brave and the stupid The eager fans called back the Ramones
opportunity for you and your friends to dared go, a large healthy outbreak of slam for two encores by chanting out the "Blitz-
mosh each other into oblivion. dancing started up. krieg Bop's" battle cry, "Hey Ho Let's go!"
All in all, it was some pretty impressive As the show continued, the Ramones and the band finished tl ings off respectably
stuft covered all of their more famous songs, ie. with some energetic and capably-done clos-
After an opening show by 247-SPYZ, "I Wanna be Sedated," "Rockaway Beach," ing numbers. After finishing, the Ramones
which I pretty much missed, the band was "Rock and Roll High School," and at least thanked us, the audience, for coming, and
heralded in the usual way-they stood a- forty (no joke) other two- to three-minute then left us to drift back off into the dark
round shrouded by some ominous-looking songs, all of which were performed with an and rainy night, taking our official Ramones
(and well-lit) stage mist, while the crowd equal amount of pizzazz. concert memorabilia with us, and hoping to
rushed down closer to the action, trying to Probably the best part of the show was get back to our dorms before catching pneu-
figure out if the four shadowy figures on when the band played its anthem, "Blitz- monia. But they left us with something more
stage were really the Ramones. krieg Bop." Everybody knew the song and than official memorabilia--they left us with
They obviously were you could feel a strong surge of emotion the memory of a real rock concert, one
The concert opened up with Joey Ra- passing through the crowd as people who where the music is simple, direct, unpreten-
mone telling the audience that,"It's really v v
had been relatively uninvolved plunged into tious, and loud.

Free Fall Whistleblowers


continued from page 3 was stealing money from the State and did
by Diane Schutz reached 10,000 feet As I neared the door nothing about it," said Gagliardo) and Rob-
with my "pilot' (the first jump is made in a Named as defendants in the case are
Are you burned out from studying? Sick President John Marburger, former Direc- ert Francis, former Vice President of Cam-
of getting beer spilled on you at the Bridge tandem parachute built for two-the be- pus Operations, who approved .Barnes's
-
ginner and a professional) my heart rate tor of Public Safety, Gary Barnes; Young;,
everyweekend? Iwas, until I discovered the Public Safety Assistant Directors Kraj- timesheet. Barnes resigned his directorship
tbraifofjCi~piviag otiofanipirplane6and now -pec iup.As instructed on the ground, .I
ewski, John Delames and Susan Riseling; effective September 30, 1988.
my life will never be the same. faced the doorway, and under the cue,
Director of Audit and Control, Carl Singler, According to the lawsuit, part of Director
This past Saturday I joined the ranks of "Head back!" we departed out the door into
and Manager of Labor Relations, Alan Young's alleged role in the harassment is
the parachuting club to make my first skyz the large expause of the stratosphere.
Before opening the parachute, there was Entine. that he, along with Riseling, interfered with
diving jump. Despite protests from friends
Because of departmental policies con- paperwork of an arrest by Paukner and
("You're crazy! I could never do that!'), I a period of 30 seconds of freefalling. The
cerning litigation, those who could be reach- Lever of three men involved with stealing
was determined and excited to do some- feeling is almost indescribable, nothing like
ed yesterday would not comment on the campus property. The arrest was in good
thing that would test the daredevil in me. any amusement park ride I had ever been
on-there was no sinking of the stomach; case. Marburger, however, on the accusa- order, according to Gagliardo and Paukner,
We met in front of the Union at 6:00AM,
and waited until 6:30 for two people who it's more like floating, with a lot of cold air tion that he was "personally responsible" yet Young, with the assistance of Riseling
rushing around you. I had hired someone to for revoking peace officer status, said, "I (who at the time, said Gagliardo, was nei-
ended up not showing up. By the time we
take these...actions on the recommenda- ther trained nor experienced with such
got to the skydiving center in Hazleton, take pictures during freefall, so as she
"floated" in front of me, camera attached to tion of the direct supervisors, based on in- paperwork) took the papers from Paukner
Pennsylvania it was nearly 10:00. The rea-
formation that they make available to me, and intentionally destroyed documents for
son for the excursion to this particularsite is her helmet, the feeling of stillness was in-
and I see to it that the...process has been two of the youths to "unarrest"them. One
that it is "one of the oldest, safest, and least creased.
adequately followed and that there seems of the parties was the son of Suffolk County
expensive in the area," according to the After 30 seconds of falling about one mile
to be good reason for the action, and I gen- Homicide Detective Laghezza, and Young,
sheet handed to me at a parachuting club (or whatever the exact rate of falling is, you
erally support the recommendation. In this according to Gagliardo and Paukner, re-
meeting. At the meeting (held Tuesdays at physics majors can figure that out), the pilot portedly said, "We don't arrest our own."
opened the chute and suddenly we were just case, as I recall, the action did appear to be
9:00, Union room 223, for anyone interest- justified." Delames and Entine were both allegedly
ed) a video was shown in which skydivers, drifting along with the breeze. My pilot,
Don, made several references to our height A suit Paukner filed in February 1988 involved with the recommendation to re-
both expert and amateur, are shown jump-
against Barnes on behalf of the University is move or the actual removal of the officers'
ing and describing their experiences. One and speed: "Right now we're twice as high
believed to be part of the reason for his peace officer status. Singler was allegedly
scene that ultimately made my decision to as the Empire State Building." "See that
"harrassment." He alleged that Barnes told Barnes was "stealing," but, said Gag-
go was that of a woman after her first jump, car down there? (We were drifting parallel
claimed 51 days on his timesheet (worth liardo, he "sat on his butt and didn't do any
gushing, "It was wonderful, when can I go to it) It's going about 60 miles an hour, and
over $11,000) that he did not work investigation." He was also said to have
again?" Expert jumpers were shown creat- so are we." This I found unbelievable.
According to Paukner, state manegerial "interfered" with Paukneers outside work in
ing formations during freefall with such As we neared the ground, he instructed
employees are paid set wages, and are not the Poquott Village Police Department,
grace and precision one would have thought me how to use the brakes to slow ourselves
paid for overtime. When they are forced to The defendants are being sued in their
they were simply floating amongst the down. We landed with ease, with no more
work overtime, they make up the time by capacities as employees at the University,
clouds. pressure than one would have jumping off a
not working during the day, even though it is as well as on an individual basis. The Public
At the site, I watched as expert jumpers chair. (No, you don't land in a tree, to all
on their timesheets. (This, he explained, is a Officer's Law, section 17, provides that
boarded the plane, jumped, and landed those who have asked.) The rest of the
common way around New York State's in- when a public employee is sued as an em-
with the same difficulty that they would Dragon Riders (as the parachuting club is
flexible attendance rules). Barnes allegedly ployee, he or she will receive defense and
have brushing their teeth. also known) greeted me with congratula-
claimed time for major emergencies (such indemnification by the State (counseled by
I finally boarded the plane at 2:20, the tions at completing my first jump, and
as shootings, rapes, fires, etc.). When his the Attorney General's office). The Attor-
delay due to waiting for the temperature to president Michael Murphy assured me,
presence might be expected, but never ney General's office was unable to comment
rise. When it reached a high of 50 degrees "You'll have that smile on your face for at
least a week!" appeared for more than "two minutes," if at on the case, as it "just came in."
on the ground, it was 5 degrees 10,000 feet "It'scosting me a lot of money to hire this
rm still smiling, and I am eagerly awaiting all "We can clearly document any time a
above the ground, which is the height from attorney [Gagliardo] and to pull apart this
the time for my next jump. I strongly en- major event went down he was never there,"
which we would jump. On the ride up I was spider's web that the current administra-
courage anyone with even the slightest Paukner said.
extremely nervous with anticipation, think- Also named as defendants in that case tion has spun," Lever said, "but rm just
ing to myself, "Am I really going to do this? sense of adventure to try this amazing, fas-
are Marburger ("...it will be shown...that he tired of it all Enough is enough."
My friends were right, I must be dement- cinating sport.
was made aware of the fact that Mr. Barnes
ed."' I watched my altimeter rise, until we
S. April27,, 1989 pave 9
A Second Chance for Trasi I
continued from page 5 decision to recycle paper was not prompted living together in a community which con-
on the installation of beer redemption
by USB's severe budget cuts. "Our concern sists of hotels (dorm rooms), pharmacies, a
recycled paper," Newton said. machines in dormitories.
for Long Island's garbage problems," Schu- hospital, and stores, we have a significant
Schubel urged people to "be courageous Schick Resident Alan Stannish said he
bel said, "began six or seven years ago. Ad- waste problem that must be dealt with now,
and buy recycled paper. In order to lower its "definitely participate[s]" in his building's
ministrators knew garbage would be a prob- before it's too late."
price, we hve to create a demand. Presently, paper collecting, "I heard about it from my "As a group," Schubel concluded, "we
Stony Brook invests in recycled paper RA, and if it's an environmentally moti- lem and we just began to think of new ways
to handle it The recycling is not in response have a commitment to try to deal success-
towels, toilet tissue and paper. Other vated project, rm for it, and I think it's
to Stony Brook's budget cut, but in re- fully with this problem, and show the rest of
people, too, should buy recycled products great" Stannish' s dormitory room's recyc-
sponse to a real environmental issue. How- the Island just how successful Stony Brook
and know that by doing so, not only are they ling bag has been filled once this semester,
ever, we have offset our garbage expen- can be in recycling, source-reduction, non-
aiding in the reduction of pollution, but they he said. Another Schick Resident, Adam
ditures, and any saving of squandered littering and preserving our environment"
are also helping to purify Long Island's Wiener, said he was never informed of any
recycling project However, Wiener said, "I money helps.
drinking water."
"Recycled products have just as much would participate. I don't know if rd think
quality as virgin paper," Schubel said. of it all the time, but if it was in my head, r d
"The administrative portion of the
university's decision to help was prompted
RESEARCH PAPERS
16,278 to choose from-all subjects
only by our wish to help combat the garbage Order Catalog Today with Visa/MC or COO
" Once our society begins to favor recycling, do it"
their presently high prices will considerably At the start of April, all residence halls crisis. Stony Brook ought to be a model for l
Hot3SSBle_
800-351-0222
in Calif. (213) 477.8226
lower." were equipped with recycling boxes. society on how to deal with our environ- Or. rush $2.00 to: Research Assistance
Newton said that although Stony Brook is Fehling explained that Stony Brook's ment As a group of well-educated people 11322 Idaho Ave. #206-SN, Los Angeles. CA90025
Custom research also available-all levels
helping to decrease the high price of re-
cycled products by buying recycled hygiene
items-thus, increasing demand-it still
has not been able to create a high demand
for recycled paper-stationary. "Apparently,
the demand for recycled stationary paper at
Stony Brook is low," said Newton. Hence,
recycled papefs prices will remain high
until a steady, greater demand for it is cre-
SIMPLE - FAST - SMART
ated.
All recycled products must bear a label
identifying them as such. Newton said this
is done because some environmentally con-
scious people only buy recycled products,
while others specifically avoid them.
EDUCATION LOANS
Each ton of collected and recycled paper
saves between 17-20 trees. Spruce and
Poplar trees are used most in making paper.
Fehling said if" everyone participates in the
FROM
EAST RIVER.
recycling, Stony Brook will be able to save
10,000trees. "Last year, Stony Brook re-
cycled 167 tons of white paper, thus, saving
3,500 trees," Fisher said. "And we saved all
those trees without any student participa-
tion." East River wants to make paying for college as easy as possible for you.
If all residential Stony Brook students We offer a number of alternatives:
were to participate in paper recycling, many
more trees can be.saved. Additionally, haul-
ing costs of $10,000 per year would also be
* Stafford Loans (formerly Guaranteed Student Loans)
saved, Fehling's data showed.
Fisher took a survey which revealed that, * Supplemental Loans for Students (SLS)
if asked, 73% of Stony Brook students,
would participate in paper recycling. Since * PLUS Loans
January of 1989, testing at Schick College
in Kelly Quad proved student participation Easy to Apply
in paper-recycling to be fairly successful
In Schick, students were given a paper All it takes is one easy application. Even if you are a first time borrower, there's no need to come in for an interview.
bag per dormitory room and asked to de- And once you submit your application, you'll get a fast answer.
posit their clean waste paper. After each
bag was filled, students were then told to You have a lot of decisions to make in the next few months; let East River help you solve an important one...paying
place the bags in a designated recycling box fo r sc h oo l. :... ..... .. ....... ..... . .. .. .. ........ ..................... .... ... ...
located in the hallway. "These students," East River Savings Bank CP-56 :
Free Student Loan Kit
Fehling said,"who are good citizens and Student Loan Department
who properly dispose of their garbage will Just fill out the attached coupon and return it to us for a 277 North Avenue
probably participate in recycling. free Student Loan application kit. You'll receive clear New Rochelle, NY 10801
Those students who usually throw their information on East River's education loan options and
garbage all over their rooms and hall will how to apply. [ YES - Please send me a free Student Loan kit
probably be the deadbeats who do not
participate." Schubel said he believes stud- And if you have any questions about financing your Name
ents will participate because "we have education, call one of our East River Student Loan
good, educated students who would like to Specialists toll free during business hours at: Address
save refuse costs and help preserve their
City/State/Zip
environment"
Schubel and Fisher both emphasized
that they would like to see profits from
1-800-EAST-RIV Phone

recycling used to make living in the Res- School


idence Halls more enjoyable. Fisher said he Offices in Westchester, Long Island, Staten Island, ,
is presently legislating to put all student, Queens and Manhattan EQUAL OPPORTUNITY LENDER
recycling profits into a special fund that I
would be utilized solely for and by students.
"Students can reap the same rewards by
participating in paper recycling that they dc
with the aluminum redemption machines in
Schick and Hand Colleges, which give them
back nickels." He also said he plans to work
EAST RIVER SAVINGS BANK a division of River Bank America

page 10 The Stony Brook Press


': s1 -;,
^C . »*.- .
ROSS UNIVERSITY

o01ate
Guaranteed student loans for both schools

SCHOOL OF MEDICINE
* American Medical School curriculum
continued from back page played to an invisible crowd of admirers- * High pas. rate on ECFM. Guaranteed cWnica rotdtonrw
terly: Hughie firmly maintains control of the. serves as a disorienting counterpoint to his * U.S. Medica School are accepting Roe tudntx wi advanced staning.
Lited inWHO.
ship, demands that they be "friends," com- bursts of violent rage and babbling illogic:
ments (jokingly, citing an art school back- like Psycho' s Norman Bates, the guy really SCHOOL OF VETERINARY MEDICINE
ground) on her attractive bone structure, seems like he'd be all right if only he didn't SAmerican Vetrinary School curriculum
* Usted in AVMA Directory. Only foreign vet school doing clinical rotatlions in USA.
and tells her, very seriously, to forget about go around killing people. Zane's attractive U.S. Vet Schools accepting etudet with advance stanings.
her husband. The anticipated false seduc- leading-man presence, in fact, distorts his
tion scene does, in fact, take place, with Rae character even more, particularly when he Now accepting applications for both schools forSpring. Fall and Winter metnw
.

pretending to succumb to Hughie's caress- "seduces" Rae-this could be an actual se- Informaton: Internatonal Educational
Admrelona, Inc., 460 Weat 34th St
es so she can load and use the shotgun on a duction scene from a straight film, except New York, N.Y. 10001 (212) 2794500
"trip to the bathroom," but bad timing for- that we know he's crazy and she wants to
ces her to leave the weapon behind and blow his head off; on a strictly visual level,
return to him, where she is, shockingly, however, there's almost no difference,
violated by an enemy who is completely which throws things even further out of smap
M, as wome agaggamage

deluded into thinking her a willing part-


ner.
The sex scene is extremely unnerving,
whack.
The only sour note in Dead Calm (or,
rather, the only unintentionally sour note) is
TIbe
SuI imer
and typical of how Dead Calm plays up to the completely cliched killer-who-would-
audience expectations only to follow not-die "twist ending," which is the film's
through in an entirely unexpected way. By only significant concession to post-Hallo- VUý

American suspense film conventions, the ween genre norms. It's implausible, man-
tactic of confusing an enemy with sexual
overtures never fails, never backfires-the
ipulative in the most transparent way, and
pretty damn gratuitous. The film is based
PR ESS
on a novel, so maybe screenwriter/co-pro-
woman or man is always able to conceal a
dagger or slip poison into the pre-sex cham- ducer Terry Hayes was just sticking to the i
pagne glasses, thus ensuring permanent plot, but here a little discretionary editing Amsterdam $275
coitus interruptus. But not here. The next
scene in the cabin reveals Rae sitting on the
would have done wonders.
Ignoring the disappointing conclusion,
Athens 305 Two Siummer
Frankfurt 219
edge ofthe bed and Hughie dressing behind
her. The most desperate gamble has failed
Dead Calm is a startlingly impressive
work Director Phillip Noyce maintains an
London 189 Sessioi is, Two
Madrid 245
and the enemy is still standing. The pres-
ervation of normalcy is no longer possible,
excellent sense of gloomy isolation on the
mainly cheery and sunlit waves-with im- Paris 235 umm r Issues
Rome 269
for though Rae has not been raped, she has
most certainly been violated, and can no
passive bird's-eye views of the tiny ves-
sels-and does a superlative job of keeping
Some restrictions apply.Fares basedon
V2 RT Slightly higher for one-way fares.
4
longer hope to escape from her ordeal un- the action moving in what is basically a Call for information.
Staff NJeeded
scathed.
Perhaps the most twisted aspect of the
film is Billy Zane's astounding performance
claustrophobic, two-location film. Graeme
Revell s electronic score is moody and evoc-
ative, and both Neill and Kidman-as well
as Zane-offer fine performances. This
CoundlTram
SNY
205 E 42nd St.
NY 10017
35 W8th St
NY. NY 10011
(call 632 -6451 for
details)
as Hughie. His smooth, articulate delivery
212-661 1450 212 254-2525__
of self-consciously clever dialogue-as if Australian import is one to check out.

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April 27, 1989 page 11
-V-

Sweating
It Out
The Return of Fishbone
hide it in his pocket, he hangs it out on a
by Joe DiStefano shingle for all the world to see.-Swope"
F ishbone is red hot, Fishbone
is red hot," chanted band
Indeed, Fishbone had something that
night and they certainly weren't hiding it in
members to the audience their pockets, but proudly strutting it for a
Friday night, April 14, and largely manic audience. The lead bonehead,
Fishbone was not the only thing overheated who wore his hair bleached in a two-strand,
that night. The interior of the Union Ball- dready mohawk, made a self-fulfilling pro-
room took on a tropical atomosphere as the phecy as he chanted, "Nah Nah Nah, gonna
windows began to steam up and the crowd have a good time," and led the crowd in the
danced in the sweltering heat. All the while, chorus of that soul classic. He waxed pa-
USB natives and townies alike were re- ternal when he warned the audience,"What
minded of the upcoming Activity Fee ref- are you thinking about? ['Fishbone!1 Well
erendum by huge placards that read: "This then, act like it!" For the most part, the
show is brought to you by the Student Ac- audience was charged and probably would
tivity Fee, vote yes on the referendum." have moshed to a third-rate garage band
The night's opener, The Breaking Bantus playing old Def Leppard tunes.
-I mean, Slamming Watusis-ground out Once again, the band expressed a sur-
a set of undifferentiated death twaddle. prising literary interest through a hilarious
Standard arena schlock save for a sax free-form prose poem on the physical and
player and especially tormented vocals. metaphysical qualities of the human ass.
Fishbone, a tasty seafood treat washed in The rap acted as a prelude to the band's
by waves of r&b, funk, punk, blues, and jazz, crowd-pleaser "Charley." Also played was
came to shore around 10 o'clock. The the catchy lament, "I Wish I Had a Date."
band's three-piece brass section carried it Although Fishbone put on an excellent
through tunes of fierce intensity as well as show, something was missing. The unre-
mellower jazzy and soul numbers. Fishbone lenting heat and my expectations (inflated,
is not unique in their use of brass as the perhaps, by fish stories about the last show)
driving force in their brand of hardcore, but left me still with a hearty appetite. Perhaps
they are singular in their choice of quotes the Student Activity Fee should provide
for their concert t-shirts. From glimpses of fans at the next concert or set up a garment
thrashing bodies, I was able to piece it check at the door, because hardcore and the
Image Rachel Elkind together. "If a man has the truth he does not greenhouse effect just don't mix.
-Celluloid.---
predicament of the film." husband se•rariat-ed The remainder of the film is divided into
from wife, wife alone with strange man. two narratives, each one related to, but

S trange Keep this in mind.


The Orpheus, we discover, is a slovenly
den of garbage, camera equipment, and
lewd paraphernalia Something unpleasant
happened here, and suspense creeps up
distinct from, the other, and each one rid-
dled with perversions of traditionally an-
ticipated action. John's narrative, for in-
stance, is that of the rugged, intelligent
military male who must use his guts and

Waters
seductively as Ingram makes his way know-how to rig a foundering vessel and
through the waterlogged lower decks, un- pursue his enemy. In a more formulaic film,
covering more and more evidence to con- his efforts would come to fruition and some
firm his suspicions of foul play. Back on the ass would definitely get kicked, but, in
boat, of course, Hughie does wake up, and Dead Calm, Ingram has a tough enough

DEAD CALM Rae, foolishly optimistic about her situa-


tion, neglects to load the shotgun. Now, the
aforementioned basic predicament be-
time just staying alive. His fleeting success
in getting the generator operating and the
engines turning is followed by disaster as he
ends up locking himself in a lower berth
absent; there is only John and Rae, their comes more aggravated. Two separate dra-
by Kyle Silfer rapidly filling with water. John, we realize
Dead Calm is a stylish and effect-
ive Australian thriller that plays
boat, and the endless blue sea.
Even this non-threatening solitude, how-
ever, is soon broken. The Ingrams encount-
mas are taking place, keeping husband and
wife apart. Rae fires up the engines of the
boat; John makes a final, horrible discov-
belatedly, won't be rescuing anybody.
Similarly, Rae's narrative-the larger
havoc with the conventions of the er another ship, an apparently abandoned ery; Hughie breaks out of his cabin; hearing one-is that of the resourcefu v, ho0
suspense film. In other words, sailing vessel christened (ominously) The
it's warped. It will fuck you up. Audience Orpheus, but before they can even consider
expectations based on six decades of genre investigating, a dinghy drops into the water
filmmaking are insidiously subverted here: from the other craft and a figure inside
you expect one thing and you get another begins rowing frantically towards them.
and by the time you catch on that maybe This, we immediately realize, is the begin-
that's the whole point, you're too punch- ning of something weird. The stranger is a
drunk to do anything about it. This film may clean-cut young American named Hughie
hurt your brain. Warriner (Billy Zane) who climbs, panting,
From the opening sequence, Dead Calm on board and, without a word, scrambles
offers no grounding in predictable reality. below deck Confronted by John and Rae,
Naval officer John Ingram (Sam Neill) re- he dazedly relates that The Orpheus is tak-
turns home from abroad to find his wife Rae ing on water and his fellow crew members
(Nicole Kidman) in the hospital and his have suffered death by food poisoning. the motor, John rows madly back to the must outwit a dangerous savage, using her
child dead, both tragedies the result of a Then, exhausted, he collapses in a bedroom oncoming ship; Hughie wrests the controls wiles and her body to confuse him. Hughie,
head-on auto collision. In the next disori- cabin where he is locked up by the cautious from Rae, slugs her into unconsciousness; a strong, charming, and almost sympathetic
enting scene, the Ingrams have taken to the Ingrams. and John's desparate leap from the dinghy lunatic (ostensibly more interested in keep-
ocean in their windjammer to escape it all John Ingramin, experienced naval officer onto the passing ship fails as he misses by ing good tunes cranked on his portable ster-
and pull themselves back together. That's that he is, doesn't buy the story, and insists inches and drops ignominously into the sea eo than in killing anybody), offers an active
our introduction to the protagonists-the on exploring the other vessel before Hughie As the commandeered vessel becomes threat only when directly contradicted or
destruction of their family life and their wakes up. Over Rae's protests, he takes the more and more distant, it becomes obvious foiled, so Rae's task seems feasible. But
subsequent immersion in total isolation. dinghy and instructs his wife to load the that the predicament is no longer merely from the first moment that These two char-
Before the plotline even begins, the com- shotgun and keep it handy in case their basic-it has advanced quite acutely into acters are alone, fear of rape looms sinis-
is guest stirs too early. Here begins the basic something far more complex. con'inued on page 11
. --; 1fortable *world I:i civilization
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