Keeping Options Open: Ambiguity in

Dating & Relationships

Lisa Tupu,
Stephanie RotH,
& Korrin Cheatwood
Ambiguity in dating, or The Hookup Culture
Attachment insecurity is a major factor in modern relationship
issues
Attachment theory
Higher rates of divorce
Needs of children not being met through abuse
Communication & technology
Motivation for Relationship Ambiguity

If it is not clear when a relationship begins or how serious it
really is, it may be believed that it will hurt less when it ends.
Scott Stanley, Ph.D

John Bowlbys
Attachment Theory
Attachment refers to the bond between an infant and the
primary caregiver
Mary Ainsworth added attachment types to Bowlbys work
1. Secure attachment
2. Avoidant attachment (Anxious)
3. Ambivalent attachment (Avoidant)
4. Disorganized attachment (Anxious avoidant)
Child Abuse & Attachment Disorders

What is child abuse?

What is an attachment
disorder?
Effects of child abuse & neglect
Deficits, unstable peer relationships, low self-esteem,
behavioral problems and psychopathology. lack ability to make
the best choices for his or her life as a result of the emotional or
physical damage from the abuse.
(Cynthia Conrad PHD, University of New Haven)
Divorce:
Its ugly, and emotionally stressful
What does a child experience when their parents
separate?
The loss of the everyday routine
The loss of parents as they used to be
The loss of material things
The loss of time with parents
Having two homes (maybe even feeling the need to choose)
Filling the absent parents shoes
Child now knows the effects that love/heartache have
Child becomes independent at a younger age


Divorce and attachment

Proximity Maintenance:
-Parents attention is divided/lessened

Safe Haven:
-Feeling unsafe with the parental unit being broken
-child becomes independent at a young age

Secure Base:
-Everyday routine is interrupted/changed completely
-torn between homes/not feeling like they have a home at all

Separation Distress:
-Loss of material things
-feeling that they need to fill absent parents shoes, or that they have to choose sides.



Sources
http://www.ipt-forensics.com/journal/volume3/j3_2_3.htm
http://www.jstor.org/stable/25790680
http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/ss/attachmentstyle_6.htm
http://markmanson.net/attachment-theory
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sliding-vs-deciding/201406/is-date
Schacter, Daniel L., Daniel T. Gilbert, and Daniel M. Wegner. Introducing Psychology. 2nd ed. New York, NY: Worth, 2013. 321-
23. Print.
Robert E. Emery, P. (2004). The Truth About Children And Divorce: Dealing with the emotions so you and your children can
thrive. New York, New York: The Penguin Group.
Straus, J. (2006). Unhooked Generation. New York, New York: Hyperion.