Professional Documents
Culture Documents
of School Assessment
2005 2006
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction ........................................................................................................ 4
Embedded-Error Passages and General Information ......................................... 5
Sample Passage 1 with MultipleChoice Items .................................................. 6
Sample Passage 2 with MultipleChoice Items .................................................. 8
Sample Passage 3 with MultipleChoice Items .................................................. 10
Writing Prompts: General Information .............................................................. 13
Narrative Scoring Guideline . ............................................................................. 14
Prompt 1 ............................................................................................................. 15
Prompt 1 Student Responses .............................................................................. 16
Informational Scoring Guideline . ...................................................................... 22
Prompt 2 ............................................................................................................. 23
Prompt 2 Student Responses .............................................................................. 24
Persuasive Scoring Guideline . ........................................................................... 30
Prompt 3 ............................................................................................................. 31
Prompt 3 Student Responses .............................................................................. 32
Conventions Scoring Guideline........................................................................... 38
Conventions Student Responses.......................................................................... 39
Page
Whats Included
This item and scoring sampler contains multiplechoice items (based on embedded-error passages) and
writing prompts that were used in the February 2005 PSSA Writing Assessment [Field Test]. These items
and prompts are representative of the types of items and prompts that will appear on the operational 2006
PSSA Writing Assessment. Each item has been through a rigorous review process and is aligned to the state
standards.
* The permission to copy and/or use these materials does not extend to commercial purposes.
Page
1.5.5.E
Revise writing to improve organization and word choice; check the logic, order of ideas, and
precision of vocabulary.
1.5.5.F
Edit writing using the conventions of language.
Punctuate correctly (periods, exclamation points, question marks, commas, quotation marks,
apostrophes).
Use nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, and interjections
properly.
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WRITING
Sample Passage 1
the school year was over, we moved into a house in a new town. 2 I was going to
my first day of camp this Summer. 3 I was a little worried since I wasnt going to know anyone
there. 4 Would I meet a new friend? 5In the morning, I went downstairs for a quick breakfast.
6 Then I headed out.
7As I walked the two blocks to the school where the camp was I thought about the friends
I had left behind in Delaware. 8 I walked into the building, found the right room, and took a seat
in the back.
9 A kid asked, Is this seat taken? 10 We started to talk, and I found out that he had just
moved hear too. 11 We were going to be in the same class at Washington Elementary!
12 My worries about camp and school were instantly gone.
1.5.5.F
1.
Summer in sentence 2 *
Delaware in sentence 7
Washington in sentence 11
Elementary in sentence 11
The answer options reflect a common capitalization error: proper versus common nouns. Options B
and D, the name of a state and the name of a person, are always capitalized. In Option D, the word
elementary is sometimes capitalized and sometimes not, so students must recognize its specific use
here as part of a particular school name. Option A is the correct answer because the word summer is
used as a common noun; it is merely naming a season of the year.
1.5.5.E
2.
Although the word choices for each answer option sound the same, they differ in meaning. These
are words whose usage is often confused, so students must consider their appropriate use in each
sentence. The words in Options A, B, and C are used correctly within the context of the identified
sentences. Option D is the correct answer because the context in this particular sentence calls for
here, not hear.
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WRITING
1.5.5.F
1.5.5.E
4.
Answer Options A, C, and D offer new, but isolated, details. Option A does not retain the emphasis
on making a new friend. Option C returns to the topic of the camp itself, which is not the focus of
the passage. Option D provides a detail about the new schools student population that has little
relevance to the passage. Only Option B sums up the passage and restates its main idea for the
reader, as a good conclusion should.
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WRITING
Sample Passage 2
1.5.5.F
5.
Can you imagine living in a time when the land was covered with ice and snow.
Can you imagine living in a time when the land was covered with ice and snow!
Can you imagine living in a time when the land was covered with ice and snow? *
Can you imagine living in a time when the land was covered with ice and snow,
Students must decide what type of sentence this is in order to apply the correct end punctuation.
Options A and B present the sentence as declarative, with one more emphatic than the other. Option
D implies the sentence is incomplete. Only Option C identifies the sentence as a question and uses the
correct end punctuation.
1.5.5.E
6.
because *
although
that
which
Students must use logic to select the appropriate conjunction to show the proper relationship between
the two parts of the sentence. The blank in the sentence aids in this process by allowing students to
insert each option and try it out. Options C and D are relative pronouns and should be used only in
reference to another word or phrase (the book that I left on the table); Option B suggests a contrast
or contradiction between the two halves of the sentence that does not exist. Option A is the best
answer since the second half of the sentence explains the first by telling why the temperature was very
cold.
Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 20052006
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WRITING
1.5.5.F
7.
sentence 4
sentence 6 *
sentence 9
sentence 13
Students must recognize the elements that comprise a complete sentence (subject, verb, complete
thought) in order to arrive at the correct answer. Students must read sentence 6 in isolation rather
than as a continuation of sentence 5 to recognize that it is missing a subject and is therefore
incomplete.
1.5.5.E
8.
Which sentence should be removed from the passage because it is not relevant to
the topic?
A.
B.
C.
D.
sentence 5
sentence 8
sentence 11
sentence 12 *
Students should recognize that the main ideas in this passage are the Ice Age and the woolly
mammoth. Option A maintains focus by continuing a thought from the previous sentence about
scientists and a theory. Option B introduces the woolly mammoth, so it cannot be offtopic. Option
C continues discussion of the woolly mammoth. The switch in sentence 12 (Option D) to a personal,
informal voice (It would be fun), along with the immediate switch back to the more objective voice
in sentence 13, cues students that this is the sentence that strays off topic.
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WRITING
Sample Passage 3
1.5.5.F
9.
insect in sentence 1
designed in sentence 4
heighth in sentence 11 *
building in sentence 14
The words chosen as options are grade-appropriate spelling words. Answer Options A, B, and D
show correct spellings of words that are commonly misspelled. The correct answer is Option C.
1.5.5.E
10. Which best revises sentence 1 without changing the sentences meaning?
A.
B.
C.
D.
Sentence 1 in the passage uses poor sentence structure and should be revised for clarity (the flea
should appear first in the sentence because the sentence is about him, not about the head of a pin).
Answer Option A retains this reverse order and does not effectively revise. Option B is clumsy
because two related facts are presented as separate and distinct phrases. Option C omits the size
comparison, thereby losing information stated in the original. Option D is the best revision because
it introduces the flea as the subject of the sentence, places the flea in the customary subject place,
defines it, and uses a comparison to add detail.
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WRITING
1.5.5.F
its in sentence 7 *
youre in sentence 9
Lets in sentence 10
Thats in sentence 14
All answer options read as contractions; that is, students could read each as two words: it is, you
are, Let us, That is. (Reading them as such would lead to the correct answer because it is does not
fit in the context of sentence 7.) Only Option A is not a contraction in this passage. It is a pronoun
in its possessive form (the flea owns its own length), and possessive pronouns should not have
apostrophes.
1.5.5.E
Fleas dont have wings, but they can run very quickly from place to place.
after sentence 1
after sentence 3 *
after sentence 4
after sentence 6
Answer Options A and C are incorrect because placing the sentence where these options suggest
would interrupt the flow between sentences 1 and 2 (Option A) and sentences 4 and 5 (Option C).
Option D would place the new sentence directly after the question that leads to the second part
of the passage, which focuses on one amazing aspect of the flea. Option B, after sentence 3, is the
best fit because sentence 3 talks about the fleas body shape and how this facilitates its movements.
Additional information about its body and movements would naturally follow this sentence.
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WRITING
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WRITING
WRITING PROMPTS: GENERAL INFORMATION
The greater part of the writing assessment consists of students written response to writing prompts.
Fifth graders will write to two of three modes: narrative, informational, or persuasive.
The writing prompts reflect Pennsylvania Academic StandardsTypes of Writing1.4.5.A, 1.4.5.B, and
1.4.5.C.
1.4.5.A
1.4.5.B
1.4.5.C
Write persuasive pieces with a clearly stated position or opinion and supporting detail,
citing sources when needed.
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WRITING
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Sharp, distinct controlling point or theme with evident awareness of the narrative.
Strong story line with illustrative details that addresses a complex idea or examines a
complex experience. Thoroughly elaborated narrative sequence that employs narrative
elements as appropriate.
Skillful narrative pattern with clear and consistent sequencing of events, employing a
beginning, a middle, and an end. Minor interruptions to the sequence may occur.
Precise control of language, literary devices, and sentence structures that creates a
consistent and effective point of view and tone.
Clear controlling point or theme with general awareness of the narrative.
Story line with details that addresses an idea or examines an experience. Sufficiently
elaborated narrative sequence that employs narrative elements as appropriate.
Narrative pattern with generally consistent sequencing of events, employing a beginning, a
middle, and an end. Interruptions to the sequence may occur.
Appropriate control of language, literary devices, and sentence structures that creates a
consistent point of view and tone.
Vague evidence of a controlling point or theme with inconsistent awareness of the
narrative.
Inconsistent story line that inadequately addresses an idea or examines an experience.
Insufficiently elaborated narrative sequence that may employ narrative elements.
Narrative pattern with generally inconsistent sequencing of events that may employ a
beginning, a middle, and an end. Interruptions to the sequence may interfere with meaning.
Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with point of
view and tone.
Little or no evidence of a controlling point or theme with minimal awareness of the
narrative.
Insufficient story line that minimally addresses an idea or examines an experience.
Unelaborated narrative that may employ narrative elements.
Narrative pattern with little or no sequencing of events. Interruptions to the sequence
interfere with meaning.
Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent point of
view and tone.
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WRITING
Plan
Before you write:
Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked
to do.
Consider topic, task, and audience.
Think about what you want to write.
Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or
outlining.
Write
As you write:
.
Maintain a clear and consistent
Clearly tell a story that includes descriptive details. Include dialogue, if
appropriate.
Use a variety of well-constructed, complete sentences.
Use a logical organization with an obvious beginning, middle, and end.
Proofread
After you write:
Did you support your ideas with specific details?
Do the point of view and tone of the story remain consistent?
Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage
errors.
GO ON
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WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
Composition Score 4
This writer establishes a distinct controlling theme and story line by concentrating on the
events leading up to the acquisition of a new pet [a time when the writer was given the
opportunity to care for a rabbit]. Awareness of narrative mode is demonstrated through
the use of dialogue and descriptive details. There is a strong, sequential story line
[Then, on a day that was going exceptionally well and Over a time period of about
three days]. Setting is embedded in efficient phrases [while I was playing hopscotch]
and helps to create a tone for the scenes that follow. Other details, such as had fish for
the past 12 years and the rabbit having a chewing problem, provide humor to assist
the strong narration.
The writer demonstrates precise control of language and cleverly weaves descriptors
into the essay: noble qualities, non-stuffed, loving rabbit, mournful day, and my
mom said plainly. Similes [my words ran together like paint in water] strengthen the
writers style.
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the narrative
mode.
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WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
Composition Score 3
This writer maintains a clear controlling theme [caring for a kitten named Stella] and
demonstrates a general awareness of the narrative mode. The essay is not organized in a
strict chronological pattern but rather examines experiences involved in caring for Stella
over time. It employs a beginning period [Once a couple of years ago], a middle period
[I had many responsibilities], and an ending period [I had alot of fun], making a
final reference to the desire to have another cat in the future.
Details are often elaborated. For example, instead of simply stating The cat slept in my
moms bed, the writer adds because it was the biggest and warmest. The personal
detail of fighting with his/her brother over where the cat slept helps to maintain the
narrative tone.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the narrative mode.
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WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 2
This composition is written from a personal point of view, but an inconsistent
sequencing of events is evidenced by the shift in tense from simple past [One time
I had to] to present [And she likes to ]. There is not a clear conclusion to the story.
The composition reverts to a list of things the writer does with his/her cousinI
fed her, likes to play video games with me, and help her learn ABCsnone
of which are developed enough to give the reader more than a vague impression of
the speaker, the cousin, or the events being described. The abundant use of I and
she interferes with the development of a successful narrative tone.
This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the narrative mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 1
There is little evidence that the writer responded to the intended prompt. The brief
story line visits the experience of selecting a dog or a cat and being disappointed by
the results. The writer shows minimal awareness of the narrative task. There are no
details, reasons, or examples to expand the experience.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the narrative mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
Sharp, distinct controlling point made about a single topic with evident awareness of task
and audience.
Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding
of the purpose. Thorough elaboration with effectively presented information consistently
supported with well-chosen details.
Organization
Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions,
which develop a controlling idea.
Style
Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a
consistent and effective tone.
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Clear controlling point made about a single topic with general awareness of task and
audience.
Adequate, specific, and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the
purpose. Sufficient elaboration with clearly presented information supported with wellchosen details.
Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which
develop a controlling idea.
Appropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates
a consistent tone.
Vague evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with an inconsistent
awareness of task and audience.
Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose.
Underdeveloped and/or repetitive elaboration with inconsistently supported information.
May be an extended list.
Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions,
which ineffectively develop a controlling idea.
Style
Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.
Focus
Little or no evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with a minimal
awareness of task and audience.
Content
Development
Organization
Style
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WRITING
Plan
Before you write:
Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked
to do.
Consider topic, task, and audience.
Think about what you want to write.
Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or
outlining.
Write
As you write:
Proofread
After you write:
Did you support your ideas with specific details?
Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?
Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage
errors.
GO ON
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
Composition Score 4
This essay has a sharp and distinct controlling point about how life has changed in the
writers household since the arrival of a little sister. The writer shows awareness of task
[Ever since my sister . . . came around and there has been a lot more laughing also].
The information throughout the essay is effectively presented with well-chosen details
She screams as loud as she possibly can when she sees me, help by getting the mail,
and I even empty the dishwasherand smooth transitions at each new paragraph [It
has also been and Now that Emma is around]. Similes [running around the house
like an angry bull, running for a red blanket] and humor [whenever we want to go out
to dinner we have to go to a kid friendly place. So almost every night we stay home] are
successfully implemented and show an attention to the audience.
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the
informational mode.
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 26
WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
Compostition Score 3
This essay has a strong controlling point about the difference the writers mother
has made in his/her life. The single topic is maintained with paragraphs devoted
to examples of lessons the mother has taught about fighting, siblings, reading, and
studying. The essay contains sufficient elaboration through specific details: books
with wonderful stories about life in the olden days, even straight A students
study, her rules and advice will come in handy some day, and My children will
learn all of this too. The writer demonstrates an appropriate control of language.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the informational
mode.
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 2
This essay demonstrates only vague evidence of a controlling point. The content
focuses on the writers premature birth rather than on the brother and how he
made a difference in the writers life. The introduction of the brother is interrupted
by a regression about being born early and being attached to a heart monitor, and
then the essay somewhat abruptly concludes in the present day when the writer is
happy to go outside and run with friends. The writers style is limited by repetitive
sentence structures, often presented consecutively: the first two sentences begin
with My brother made a difference and the last two both say I am happy.
This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the informational
mode.
If you need additional space, please continue on the next page.
GO ON
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 1
This essay shows minimal awareness of task. The essay has minimal content;
the reader knows the mom took the writer to buy new clothes and a bed, but no
supporting details are provided to place this information in context. There is no
evidence of organizational strategies or structures. No tone or style is created as only
minimal language skills are used.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the informational
mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
Content
Development
Organization
Sharp, distinct controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through
a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument with evident awareness of task and
audience.
Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of
the purpose. Thoroughly elaborated argument that includes a clear position consistently
supported with precise and relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies are
evident.
Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to
develop a position supported with a purposeful presentation of content.
Style
Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a
consistent and effective tone.
Focus
Clear controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a credible and
substantiated argument with general awareness of task and audience.
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Focus
Content
Development
Organization
Style
Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.
Focus
Little or no evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that lacks a credible and/
or substantiated argument with minimal awareness of task and audience.
Content
Development
Organization
Style
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WRITING
Think about the four seasons. Choose which season is your favorite.
Write an essay that persuades your classmates to agree with you.
Plan
Before you write:
Read the prompt carefully so you understand exactly what you are being asked
to do.
Consider topic, task, and audience.
Think about what you want to write.
Use scratch paper to organize your thoughts. Use strategies like mapping or
outlining.
Write
As you write:
Proofread
After you write:
Did you support your ideas with specific details?
Do the point of view and tone of the essay remain consistent?
Check for capitalization, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and usage
errors.
GO ON
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 32
WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 4
This writer has developed a sharp and distinct controlling point [winter]. The
choice is made convincing through a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument.
The essays organizational structure is logical [because it is the season when there
are snow days, snow, and Christmas and New Years], and the use of transitions
at the beginning of each paragraph [One of the reasons and But the best part]
allows the writer to develop a clear position with a purposeful presentation. The
writers awareness of purpose, task, and audience is evident in his/her use of details:
building a fort, have a snowball fight, and my sister and I get alot of presents
that day. Personal experiences [you get to climb up and ride down all over again]
add a persuasive element, as do sensory descriptionsthe whoosh of air when I go
down a steep slope and steaming hot chocolate. The writer maintains an effective
conversational tone throughout the essay [This game is sure to keep you on your
toes and That has to be alot of fun]. Persuasive strategies are also evident in the
use of rhetorical questions [Who couldnt agree? and Dont you too?].
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the
persuasive mode.
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
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WRITING
Composition Score 3
This writer presents a clear controlling point [summer] and remains on topic for the
entire essay. Each paragraph concentrates on the strengths of the season, and each has
its own transitional, introductory, and/or controlling sentence [Lets say you go to the
beach or Now I have one more thing]. Content is specific, and the details appeal
to the readers senses [stickness on your legs, smell the warm sea salty air, and
sweet and tangy strawberrys]. Combined, these demonstrate the writers appropriate
control of language and the ability to create a consistent tone. The writers style, along
with the strong examples of the scents, textures, and tastes of summer, helps to create a
persuasive argument.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 2
This writer clearly states a position [My favorite season is summer] but only
vaguely substantiates that position. The essay is merely a list of things that someone
can do in the summer [You can have a family picnic or cookout, and You can
play with frends or family]. There is no order or structure to the essay other than
the introductory sentence. Most sentences could be reordered without changing
the overall meaning of the passage. The repetitive sentence structure [You can]
interferes with fluency and fails to demonstrate language control. There is no
obvious conclusion.
This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Composition Score 1
This writer states a favorite season [summer] but does not substantiate or
elaborate on this position. There is minimal evidence of content or an understanding
of how to create a persuasive essay. Sentences contain unrelated ideas [Summer
can make plant go (grow), and you can get tan] and stand alone as isolated and
undeveloped details.
The sentences and sentence fragment demonstrate minimal control of language and
sentence structures.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the persuasive
mode.
GO ON
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WRITING
Page 38
WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 39
WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 4
This essay demonstrates skill in all elements of conventions. A variety of sentence
structures are used throughout the essay. The writers use of parenthetical expressions,
questions, and introductory clauses offers diversity in the presentation of ideas.
The essay contains fragments [Nothing to worry about], but they are used
deliberately and for effect. This writer has full command of usage, grammar, spelling,
and mechanics. Two mechanical errorsa missing question mark and a missed
apostropherepresent minor oversights in this essay.
This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of all elements of conventions.
AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR WORK, CLOSE THIS WRITING
BOOKLET SO YOUR TEACHER WILL KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED.
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WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
GO ON
Page 41
WRITING
NARRATIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued)
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 3
This essay shows adequate control of conventions. The writer uses quotation marks
effectively in dialogue and uses commas correctly in dialogue, items in a series, and
introductory clauses. There are errors in spelling [strait, wispered, and bead
for bed]; a consistent error is neglecting to double the final consonant on some verbs:
hopped is written as hoped, jetted as jeted, and stopped as stoped. Grammar
errors, such as most beautifulest, do not interfere with meaning.
Many things are skillfully done. Some errors appear to be from speed of writing and
lack of proofreading rather than from a lack of ability.
This essay exemplifies adequate control of all elements of conventions.
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WRITING
INFORMATIONAL WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 2
This essays eight sentences demonstrate limited control of conventions. Quotation
marks are not used; commas do not separate introductory clauses and asides. Errors,
such as writing I want to something completely different rather than I want to
do something completely different, interrupt the flow of the essay. There are many
spelling errors. While many of these do not interfere with meaning, there are errors
in all elements of conventions.
This essay exemplifies limited control of all elements of conventions.
GO ON
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WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT
FINAL COPY
Conventions Score 1
This essay represents a minimal control of conventions. A period is used at the end
of the writing sample, but none are used within the text, which suggests a weak
sense of sentence formation. There is no separation of periods and capital letters
between any of the five thoughts presented. Errors such as holde in tirey wrold
cause the reader to stop and translate the phrase to whole entire world.
This essay exemplifies little or no control of the elements of conventions.
GO ON
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Copyright 2005 by the Pennsylvania Department of Education. The materials contained in this publication
may be duplicated by Pennsylvania educators for local classroom use. This permission does not extend to
the duplication of materials for commericial use.