The client's job is to come up with a complaint.

I want you to state your compl

aints in a particular form to make it easier for your partner. The form of the c
omplaint will tell the other person which kind of refram-ing is most appropriate
.
1) Present your complaint as a complex equivalence that links a response to a cl
ass of events "I feel X when Y happens" or,
2) Present the complaint as a comparative generalization about yourself or someo
ne else, with the context deleted: "I'm too Z" or "He's too Q."
The programmer's job is to find a way of refraining the problem, and then to del
iver the reframe in such a way that it has an impact. This is a training seminar
so don't force yourself to respond immediately. Let me give you a strategy to g
enerate reframes.
First you identify the form of the complaint that your client has presented so t
hat you know which kind of reframe to go for. With a complex equivalence you do
a meaning reframe, and with a comparative generalization you do a context refram
e.
2) The next step is to create an internal representation of the complain that yo
u have received from the other person: either make a picture of it visually, fee
l what it would be like kinesthetically, or describe it auditorily.
3) For a context reframe, ask yourself "In what context would this particular be
havior that the person is complaining about have value?" Think of different cont
exts until you find one that changes the evaluation of the behavior.
For a meaning reframe, ask yourself "Is there a larger or different frame in whi
ch this behavior would have a positive value?" "What other aspect of this same s
ituation that isn't apparent to this person could provide a different meaning fr
ame?" or simply "What else could this behavior mean?" or "How else could I descr
ibe this same situation?"
4) When you have found a new frame for the behavior, take a moment or two to thi
nk of alternative ways of delivering the reframe, and then select the one that y
ou think will get the maximum response. Pacing and leading will be extremely imp
ortant in doing this. If you have difficulty, take the observer aside for a mome
nt and use her as a resource.
When you have thought of a reframe, ask the client to repeat the complaint, and
then deliver your reframe. Carefully observe the nonverbal changes in the client
as he considers what you have said.
---------------------------------Negotiating Between Parts: Outline
1)
Ask the part that is being interrupted (part X) the following questions:
a)
What is your positive function?
b)
Which part(s) is (are) interrupting you? (Part Y)
2)
Ask the same questions of part Y:
a)
What is your positive function?
b)
Does X ever interfere with your carrying out your function?
3) If both parts interrupt each other at times, you are now ready to negotiate a
n agreement. (If not, this model is not appropriate, so switch to another refram
ing model. If Y interferes with X, but X doesn't interfere with Y, six-step refr
aming with Y may be most appropriate.)
a)
Ask Y if its function is important enough that Y would be willing to not
interrupt X so that it could receive the same treatment in return.
b)
Ask X if it was not interrupted by Y, would it be willing to not interrup
t Y?
4) Ask each part if it will actually agree to do the above for a specified amoun
t of time. If either part becomes dissatisfied for any reason, it is to signal t
he person that there is a need to renegotiate.

5) Ecological check: "Are there any other parts involved in this?" "Are there an
y other parts that interrupt this part, or that utilize these interruptions?" If
so, renegotiate.
----------------------Creating a New Part: Outline
1) Identify the desired outcome, the function of the part. "I want a part that w
ill achieve."
2) Access any historical experiences of doing X, or anything similar. Step insid
e each experience and access all aspects of doing X or parts of X. Go through ea
ch memory in all representational systems.
3)
Create a detailed set of images of how you would behave if you were actu
ally demonstrating; whatever this part of you is going to have you do to achieve
the outcome X:
a)
First create a dissociated visual and auditory constructed movie.
b)
When you see a whole sequence that you're satisfied with, step inside t
he image and go through the whole sequence again from the inside feeling what it
is like to do these behaviors.
c)
If you are not satisfied, go back to 3a and change the movie. Do this un
til you are satisfied with that fantasy from the inside as well as from the outs
ide.
4) Ecological check "Does any part object to my having a part which will be in c
harge of making that fantasy a reality?" Make sure you checking all representati
onal systems to find all objecting parts. For each objecting part:
a)
Ask that part to intensify the signal for "yes" and decrease for "no."
b)
Ask "What is your function for me?" "What do you do for me?"
c)
If the function doesn't tell you what the part's objection is, ask "What
specifically is your objection or concern?
d)
Make a complete written list of all the parts that object and their func
tions.
4)
Satisfy all the objecting parts:
a)
Redefine the part you are creating to take into account all I the functi
ons and concerns of the objecting parts.
b)
Go back to step 3 and make a new or modified fantasy that will satisfy t
he concerns of each part that objected.
c)
Check with every part to make sure that each one is satisfied that this
new representation of the new part's behavior will not interfere with its functio
n.
6) Ask your unconscious resources to analyze that fantasy and to pull from it th
e essential ingredients. Your unconscious is to use this information to build a
part and give it entity, "Get what you need to know from that fantasy to be able
to build a part of you that can do this exquisitely and easily, and at every mo
ment that it needs to be done."
7) Test the part to make sure it is there:
a)
Go inside and ask.
b)
Future-pace, repeatedly.
c)
Behaviorally engage the part to find out if it responds appropriately
----Six Step Reframing Outline
1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed. "I want to stop X'ing but I can't," o
r "I want to Y, but something stops me."
2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern.
a)
"Will the part of me that makes me X communicate with me in consciousnes
s?" Pay attention to any feelings, images, or sounds that occur in response to a
sking that question internally.
b)
Establish the "yes/no" meaning of the signal. Have it increase in bright
ness, volume, or intensity for "yes," and decrease for "no."

3) Separate the behavior, pattern X, from the positive intention of the part tha
t is responsible for X. The unwanted behavior is only a way to achieve some posi
tive function.
a)
Ask the part that runs X "Would you be willing to let me know in conscio
usness what you are trying to do for me by Pattern X?"
b)
If you get a "yes" response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate it
s intention. If you get a "no" response, proceed with unconscious reframing, pre
supposing positive intention.
c)
Is that intention acceptable to consciousness? Do you want to have a par
t of you which fulfills that function?
d)
Ask the part that runs X "If there were ways to accomplish
your positive function that would work as well as, or better than X, would you b
e interested in trying them out?"
4) Access a creative part, and generate new behaviors to accomplish the positive
function.
a)Access experiences of creativity and anchor them, or ask "Are you aware of a c
reative part of yourself?"
b) Have the part that runs X communicate its positive function to the creative p
art allow the creative part to generate more choices to accomplish that function
, and have the part that used to run X select three choices that are at least as
good or better than X. Have it give a "yes" signal each time it selects such an
alternative.
5) Ask the part Are you willing to take responsibility for using the three new al
ternatives in the appropriate context? This provides a future-pace. In addition y
ou can ask the part at the unconscious level to identify the sensory cues that w
ill trigger the new choices, and to experience fully what it's like to have thos
e sensory cues effortlessly and automatically bring on one of the new choices.
6) Ecological Check. "Is there any part of me that objects to any of the three n
ew alternatives?" If there is a "yes" response, recycle to step 2 above.
------ reframing systems
1) Identify and interrupt a stimulus-response (X Y) loop.
2) Ask the person responding:
a)
"Are these feelings (Y) familiar?"
b)
"What is the message you get when she does X?"
3) Ask the stimulus person:
a)
"Is that (Y) what you intended by doing X?"
b)
"What did you intend?"
4) Ask stimulus person, "Are you committed to getting your intended message acro
ss?"
5) Find a way to make message received equal message intended:
a)
Find it in the experience of the stimulus person. "Have you ever gotten
the response you want? What did you do then?"
b)
Find it in the experience of the response person. "What behavior would wo
rk to get that response in you?"
c)
Select a model, or pretend that you know how to get that response.
6) Have the stimulus person try out the new behavior to find out if it works sat
isfactorily.
------Agreement Frame Exercise
1) Ask A and B what) specifically, they want, and then restate it to their satis
faction as a pace.
2) Ask both A and B what their specific outcome will do for them (their meta-out
come) and restate it.
3) Find a common outcome such that when you state it, both A and B agree it is w
hat they want. "So what you both want is . . ."
When you are the programmer, I want you to get as general as you need to in orde
r to find an outcome that both partners will agree to. Sometimes all you will be

able to get agreement on will be, "So you are both here in order to find some w
ay to continue your relationship to your mutual benefit and satisfaction."