You are on page 1of 116

A BOOKof DRAWINGS

By H'MBATEMAN

^?^ith

an Introduction by

G*K CHESTERTON
METHUEK & CO. LTD. LOKDON

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yr-y-J'T^'''''''^^

A BOOK OF DRAWINGS

Digitized by the Internet Archive


in

2007 with funding from


IVIicrosoft

Corporation

http://www.archive.org/details/bookofdrawingsOObateuoft

A BOOK OF

DRAWINGS
BY

H. M.

BATEMAN

WITH AN INTRODUCTION
BY

G. K.

CHESTERTON

METHUEN &

CO. LTD.
36 ESSEX STREET, W.G.

LONDON

First Published in

1921

INTRODUCTION

IT

should enjoy one

Rabelais or Swift

and even sobriety

owes much

It

art.

satire

The

in real things.

before

sometimes

is

but

society

For that

to be ridiculed.

present to this branch of


satirists as great as

modern

riot of ridiculing

becomes too ridiculous

a sanity

Mr. Bateman

well that a draughtsman with the wild exactitude of

is

modern

the chief danger at

is

said

we have no

that

of that strength depends on

imaginative effect of Rabelais

mocked

the old medieval and monastic setting at which he

to

society

and Swift's wildest fancies can be seen more clearly against the background of

Queen Anne took her

clipped hedges and trim gardens in which

could Rabelais have said,


abbey, and found that

he had stopped for wine and refreshment

if

deserved rather to

it

than the Abbey of Theleme

Anne's tea-party, had found

was the

it

Mad Tea

was already dining with the March Hare, the

Dormouse

And

now-a-days.

Bateman

is

is

at

there

is

tendency, in

Otherwise,

fantastic.

caricature the

Now

politicians.

Hence
manner, will grow

caricatures.

it

Hatter and the

which the

himselt

of Mr.

talent

to

grow

might be outstripped by the

facts.

the

caricaturists

found that

and more frantic and

They

Queen

to

satire

were supposed

the politicians are caricaturing their

will probably be

more

incredible and crazy.

when

epoch

Victorian

it

up

satirist finds

once original and typical, for English pictorial

more and more


There was

Mad

the disconcerting situation in which a


so

Abbey

Suppose that Anne,

Party.

like Alice,

That

stiffly

a real

at

be called Nightmare

Suppose Swift, on walking

What

tea.

all

our ablest

farcical,

to

own

artists, in this

more and more

trying to keep pace with our statesmen and

are

social philosophers.

For instance, there

is

a delightful design

the secret and hideous crime of the gentleman

the ink in the

would be

if a

hotel.

man

in

It

is

a hotel

who

to

fill

book representing

a fountain-pen

filled

But

exceedingly funny.

were allowed

in this

it is

with

not so funny as

forty fountain-pens

it

and ten

large bottles with ink, but were strictly forbidden ever to dip his pen in the ink,

taking only what he needed at the


a cheque.

It

would be funnier

bottleful, but forbade

ink.

Yet that

is

him

moment

still

if

for addressing an envelope or signing

the law which allowed

to take a pen-full,

literally

were

called a

him

to take a

law for the saving of

and exactly the condition of the existing law for

A man

avoiding excess in wine or whisky.

amount he wants.

He

of his wants.
a bottle of ink

But he

drop on the point of

allowed to buy an immoderate amount in excess

is

much

bigger than

not allowed to take a drop hardly bigger than the

is

Now

a pen.

more than you could

you cannot

refute

what

Why

you can answer the question of "

is

mouse when

any

white, or that yes

it

is

more than

entirely irrational, any

is

is

law like that

satirise

the statement that black

satirise

You cannot

the same as no.

not allowed to buy the moderate

allowed to bear away a bottle of brandy

is

but he

is

spins

.''"

can

imagine Mr. Bateman giving us a dizzy, delirious and doubtless delightful

drawing of a mouse when

why

spins, but hardly of

it

it

imagine him giving us an equally exuberant exhibition of


struggling policemen to arrest a

than a liqueur
bottles of gin

But

man

can

stampede of stout

sipping a small glass of sherry hardly larger

while processions of placid and smiling persons, clasping colossal

and brandy, passed by

this very

And

spins.

which the

thing,

who

of the politician

calm and continuous background.

might draw

artist

And

already established as a law.

like

as a lark,

the politician has

even Mr. Bateman could not draw the mind

conceived such a regulation.

It is

beyond the

last visions

of Futurism and the Fourth Dimension.

Again,

am

enchanted with Mr. Bateman's picture of the War-time

Match, and the flaming martyrdom endured by the heroic


observe a special sort of economy.
sort

of economy, even

strictly

do not

of

draw

devotion rather mystical than

rare at the time

on the average

they are very important

man

at

to follow the council of per-

can imagine something that would be

Mr. Bateman's

man

fantasy.

much more

Suppose Mr. Bateman were called

thus engaged in saving a single match, while on every side

him match-boxes

were being given

Or

call

But

fantastic even than


to

reasonable

and win the heavenly palm and crown, towards which that flaming

finger points him.

upon

in itself a

and any regulations for saving them would be quite defensible

regulations.
fection,

was

at least that

in this case to a

Matches were

rational.

any time

if it led

But

citizen, in order to

piled

up

to the skies,

in toppling towers

much

to the flames wholesale, like so

suppose, in the same vein which

is

very

much

policeman putting a very large finger on the

his

lips

should whistle, and disturb the repose of the street


hardly say, would be

full

rubbish or mere fuel.

own, he were

of a very
;

and pyramids,

little

while the

boy

regulation.

London was

lest

street, I

of motor-buses, brass-bands, backfiring cars,

fog-horns, anti-aircraft artillery, guns going off generally and so on.


that wild picture

draw

to

would be

a literally

and rigidly

realistic

he

need

sirens,

Well,

picture of a real

Living in London, and presumably knowing what the noise of


like all

through the war

as

much

as at

any other time, the

officials

men

make

did

actually

anxious

disturb us

lest

no one should whistle

the grasshopper should indeed

amid the roaring of

and perhaps

felt,

a regulation that

still

is

minds, that two thin,

felt,

lions

become

Bateman

is

which shoots out

to the

The French have

it.

where they had got


to,

in the rapids,

is

always possessed

any

at

to.

But

in
if

rate

fresher,

it,

for the

in

know now,

in

company with

man who

let

to reproduce the

book the artist

is

Sporting

&

defines

to go.

at last,

And most

so far as

where we

of

knowing
are really

if it is

quite

us at least, by the grace of

God,

has a sense of humour.

CHESTERTON

majority of the drawings in this

indebted to the courtesy of the Proprietors of

He has

it,

French have always known

where they wanted

all

one sense a

exaggerating

some ways, had not even got

we

in

and where science and statesmanship are leading us; and

For permission
Punch"

and

once logical and ludicrous.

G. K.

also to acknowledge similar

kindnesses from

"London Opinion" "The Tatler," " The


Dramatic News," Land & Water" and" The
Sunday Herald."

the Editors of

Hill.

humour, an element of which Mr.

obviously to an enormous lunatic asylum,

go there

was

already of itself tending

is

end of any process, and even

own countrymen, happier

going

Ludgate

It is a telescopic satire, at

where they were going, or


our

itself

into our ancient English

very typical.

It

on a small whistle must no longer be allowed

and even extravagancies, has brought a

freer element

like

and his chirp

and the trumpeting of elephants.

to desecrate the deathly silence of Piccadilly and

to extremes

a burden,

by the same sensitive and delicately balanced

shrill notes

This sense that society

for a taxi-cab

Illustrated
Illustratd

B.-tE<>

a2

CONTENTS
page

The "Damned Spot"


The CO.; A Man's Man

Two's Company

4
5

The Artist and the Village Maid

Love at First Sight


"Last but not Least"
Supply and Demand
Possibilities of a Vacuum Cleaner- -I

8
9
10

-II

11

-III

12

-IV

13

The Sub-Lieutenant takes the Admi kal's Queen

14

Mexicans at Play

15

The False Income Tax Return

16
17

The Eyes of the Fleet

19

Force of Habit
Steadiness on Parade

20

They

WOULD

21

have it! I

22
23

The Man who filled his Fountain Pen


The Guest who brought a Banjo

25

Brother Brushes I

28

27
29

The Boy who Breathed on the Glass


The Physician Heals Himself
The Prisoner and the Railings I
n

>

Ji

The Coat that didn't come off


The Spring Blinds
The Man and the House-agent
An Ice Tragedy
It's all in the Game
f>

>i

11

The Man who Broke the Tube


The Infectious Hornpipe

viU

11

31

33

34
35

36
37
38
39

40
41

43
45

How

I I

Call I

Big Bill answered the


n

)i

1)

^^

)>

The Reckuit who took to

46
47

Kindly
Adventures of a Despatch Rider I

49

'^'

51

})

it

....
))

I)

Temporary Female Clerks


Attrition

-II

The

53
54
55

Politician

50

who addressed the Troops

La Vache a L'Espionage I

57
58

59

The Private grows a better one than the Sergeant


The Civilian visits the War Office
The Field Boots
-II

....
....

II

One Up!

62

65

66
67
68

Naval Disclosures
The Power of the Human Eye
Economy in Matches

69
71

72
73

AA

t>

)i

61

63

The Recruit who Passed


Stiff

60

Between Two Doses of Tonic

75

It's the Same Man


The Demon Shell

77

))

78
^-i^

))

79

Back to the Army again Sergeant!


The Camouflage Idea and the Military Mind
After You
Temperament The Pessimist

....

,,

The
The
The
The

The

Optimist

Leave-Wangler

>

82
83

84
85

87

Epicure in the Pump Room


Deck Chair
Car with a Will of its own
J)

81

88
89

90
^'

91

"The Watch on the Rhine"


The Stowaway
The Happy Escape

93

Back from the Holidays The Dentist


The Doctor

,(

96

94
95

97

THE "DAMNED SPOT"

THE CO.

A MAN'S MAN

^
TWO'S

COMPANY

eis'rl'>.'<

TWO'S COMPANY II

'<

Past

THE ARTIST AND THE VILLAGE MAID

y^'^

Present

THE VILLAGE MAID AND THE ARTIST

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

ITS

DISTURBING INFLUENCE

///

j^T#:i*k'rt

<va

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

'

OKE of those UNFOETnNATE CASES

IN WHICH THE SUPPLY

IS

BY NO MEANS EQUAL TO

THE DEMAND.

SUPPLY AND DEMAND

POSSIBILITIES
10

OF A VACUUM CLEANER

POSSIBILITIES

OF A VACUUM CLEANER II

POSSIBILITIES
li{

OF A VACUUM CLEANER-III

POSSIBILITIES

OF A VACUUM CLEANER IV
13

DEEDS THAT OUGHT TO WIN THE


The Sub Lieutenant Takes the

14

V.C.
Admiral's Queen

MEXICANS AT PLAY
13

'f

THE FALSE INCOME TAX RETURN


16

AND

ITS

RECTIFICATION

17

'i

18

M'TT-'i

9A.TfM*.

*4

'^'P

THE EYES OF THE FLEET


or

"VISIBILITY

GOOD"
19

Jt*.,

B^Tf^AX

FORCE OF HABIT
or

20

THE HALF-BACK FORGETS

X.M. B*^TrM*Ks|

f^,^

STEADINESS ON PARADE

21

<a^z2f^T

^f^^^:q\^^2:czzs^

-v,^
^

THEY WOULD HAVE

IT 1

THEY iVOULD HAVE

IT 111
23

24

THE MAN WHO FILLED HIS FOUNTAIN PEN


WITH THE HOTEL INK

25

^" 9.

26

THE GUEST WHO BROUGHT A BANJO


27

BROTHER BRUSHES-I
28

CP

<ir

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S
w^g^m^
v-^S'^s^^^^fc

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^C

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(

A MA

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4.

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MUGWUMPS):::;
^

V'

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'

* ^ * T^

^ StormT

lao:^^
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jm i ii9/9>j;'^/f^n' rvWf^'
i

LPEACE.

'

'w)iww'">'"'>.i>>i..'j';>'

'

W)i'Vfff?

>*'*

BROTHER BRUSHES

,*|C*.M

!%<< ^

II

29

30

THE BOY WHO BREATHED ON THE GLASS


An Ante-Bellum

IN

THE

BRITISH

MUSEUM

Tragedy

31

>..a

32

THE PHYSICIAN HEALS HIMSELF

33

PRISONER.

34

WHEN ARRESTED. CLUNG TO THE

RAILINGS"

PRISONER.

WHEN ARRESTED, CLUNG TO THE

RAILINGS'- II

3S

JVrM

THE COAT THAT DIDNT COME OFF

86

I'A'll

iuJLIll

ii

ii. 'iiiilii

THE SPRING BLINDS

37

3TAT23

^ 3^U0H

aTkia^A

*1

THE MAN WHO ASKED A HOUSE-AGENT

3S

IF

HE HAD ANY HOUSES TO LET

THE

/A

AN

WHO

HOW

WOOED

LOVED

H E

TKE

OR>kNG-E

f^D

TkE

tAANJ

Vs/HO

WOlNf
The

>-*^

*-rC**^-

O R-AMG-t

-i^A^

AN

ICE

TRAGEDY
39

^^Via'V\

IPS ALL IN

40

THE GAME

ArM QikTrCMA
.

IT'S

ALL

IN

*--<

THE GAME II

41

>rfS B.

THE MAN WHO BROKE THE TUBE


48

THE INFECTIOUS HORNPIPE


45

HOW
46

BIG BILL

ANSWERED THE CALL-1

'^

H.

( ^

**

'

<-'_J'

6 Tc
^,

*<

*vr~-4

HOW

BIG BILL

ANSWERED THE CALL

II

47

>T<n.t.

48

THE RECRUIT WHO TOOK TO

IT

KINDLY

49

ADVENTURES OF A DESPATCH RIDER


50

IN

GERMAN EAST AFRICA-I

ADVENTURES OF A DESPATCH RIDER

IN

GERMAN EAST AFRICA


31

52

TEMPORARY FEMALE CLERKS


53

x^S^'

^ 1^

'^-'

^"^

</./:^

ATTRITION

v^^^^au^

f >7-

ATTRITION- II
55

THE POLITICIAN WHO ADDRESSED THE TROOPS

37

LA VACHE A L'ESPIONAGE
S$

LA VACHE A L'ESPIONAGE II

39

DEEDS THAT OUGHT TO WIN THE


The Private crows

V.C.

a better one than the Sergeant

AM BIDDEN TO THE WaR OFFICE.

ENTER.

AM OBSERVED.

DEPART FOB

IT.

AM NOT OBSERVED.

AM SPOKES TO (AND

STILL LIVE).

APPROACH

IT.

AM STILL NOT OBSERVED.

CONTINUE TO BE SPOKEN

TO.

v,7

AM SPOKEN TO QUITE NICELY.

THE

AM SHAKKS

H.<sri<i

CIVILIAN VISITS

Wini.

TAKE MY LEAVE.

THE WAR OFFICE

61

THE FIELD BOOTS

42

THE FIELD BOOTS 11

03

04

J*m .B>Tg

"*>*-<. ij

THE RECRUIT WHO PASSED AT THE THIRTEENTH EXAMINATION

65

STIFF-

06

STIFF II

67

ONE UP

68

NAVAL DISCLOSURES: OR THE SECRET THAT NEVER LEAKED OUT

70

/^^;,v/'/

'i/<^\

Few Curious Examples of Repulsion and Attraction

THE POWER OF THE HUMAN EYE


71

(<2>-

ECONOMY

72

IN

MATCHES

^rwt

ECONOMY

IN

B *^*TC

-*

^*-*

">* 9-

MATCHES-II

73

^.^ .

74

BETWEEN TWO DOSES TONIC

Subaltern's

Dream

75

76

-^'rv^-*--^-*

,-:*A

IT'S

THE SAME MAN

B*>-'g'^'sr~^

<t4fc

77

*'

-*'

THE DEMON SHELL78

THE DEMON SHELL-Il


79

^TM.p,

80

BACK TO THE ARMY AGAIN SERGEANT


OR

The Curve That Found

Itself
81

"IFir^

HOW THE CAMOUFLAGE

S2

IDEA FIRST

DAWNED ON THE MILITARY MIND

J-:^

B,Tei.

7-

AFTER YOU
The

Potentials Eeinc Medically Examined


8J

TEMPERAMENTTHE
84

PESSIMIST

TEMPERAMENT-THE OPTIMIST
89

ae

t3

A.-V

C M * w-J

^ l~^

THE LEAVE-WANGLER

87

THE EPICURE

88

IN

THE PUMP ROOM

THE DECK CHAIR

89

A BERLIN
90

OR

>-^

THE CAR WITH A WILL OF

ITS

*sr- e* 'v*

efc

r-^

-A-*

'' "

OWN
91

J*r^ Bi"r e-*


-

98

THE

WATCH ON THE RHINE"


(New Version)

93

'A
l:-^J^^-=^eii

---/

i5l^_l^.C=-^

THE STOWAWAY

94

E^S-S-^^

THE HAPPY ESCAPE

95

BACK FROM THE HOLIDAYS -THE DENTIST

96

v-'

'

'

BACK FROM THE HOLIDAYS-THE DOCTOR

98

Printed

in

Great Britain
BY

Jordan-Gaskell Ltd.
2 Bridge Place, Belgrave Road,
s.w.

I.

>

R
453
:4

Chestsrton

:47

921b

Collection

^'

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