Professional Documents
Culture Documents
iI ~
~7(,)
/'/
-) ~
HI}()l/I
FIRST
Unpublished
PRINTING
Copyright
1964
Stewart-Robinson,
DOLLY!
was first presented on January 16, 1964
by David Merrick at the Sf. J ames Theatre in New York
City with the following cast:
HELLO,
Inc.
:\11 nght:,
including
the
right
of reproduction
"it'
International
in whole
or in part,
and Pan-American
( In order of appearance)
MRS.
in
DOLLY
GALLACHER
ERNESTINA
Copyright
AMBROSE
KE11PER
HORSE
C\UTION:
Professionals
and amateurs
arc hereby
warned
that
HELLO,
DOl.LY!
being fullv protected
under the Copvright
Laws of
the United
States of America,
the British Conunonwcalth.
including
the Dominion
of Canada,
and all other countries
of the Berne and
Universal
Copnight
Conventions,
is subject
to rovaltv. 1\11 rights,
including
professional.
amateur,
motion
picture,
recitation,
lecturing,
public reading,
radio and television
broadcasting,
and the rights of
translation
into foreign languages,
are strictly reserved.
HORACE
V.\.NDERGELDER
ER11ENGARDE
CORNELIUS
BARNABY
IRENE
MRS,
TUCKER
MOLLOY
MINNIE
Application
for stage presentations
is to be made to Tarus-Witrnark
Music Library, Inc., /')7 Third Avenue, New York, New York 10017.
HACKL
FAY
ROSE
RUDOLPH
Library
of Congress
Catalog
Card
Number:
6821572
JUDGE
COURT
CLERK
TOWNSPEOPLE,
Carol Channing
Mary Jo Catlett
Igors Gavan
Jail Lal'rade, Bonnie Mathis
David Burns
Alice Plavten
Charles Nelson Reilly
Jerry Dodge
Eileen Brennan
Sandra Lee
Amelia Haas
David Hartman
Gordon Connell
Ken Ayers
LEVI
\VAITERS,
ETC,
Prill/ed in U.S.A. by
NOBLE
OFFSET
NEW
YORK
PRINTERS,
3,
N.
INC.
Y.
.~:?~~~;
..
J!
d /e
Directed
and Choreographed
by Cower Champion
by Jean Rosenthal
Costumes
by Freddy \Vittop
OF SCENES
Curtain rises on Street Scene, New York City
in the 1890's,
SYNOPSIS
by
Coleman
by Philip
J,
Lang
ACT
ONE
2, A Street in Yonkers
Vandcrgcldcr's Hay and Feed Store, Yonkers
The Yonkers Depot
Two
VI
SCENE
1890's.
VARIOUS
ALL
CALL ON DOLLY
SHE'S THE ONE THE SPINSTERS RECOMMEND
JUST NA~1E THE KIND OF ~lAN YOUR
SISTER \VANTS
AND SHE'LL SNATCH HIM UP
DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR MAIDE;\f
AUNTS
AND SHE'LL MATCH 'KM UP
CALL ON DOLLY
IF YOUR ELDEST DAUGHTER NEEDS
A FRIEND
(Horsccar enters bearing SEVERAL
newspapers in front oi their faces)
LADIES,
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
:l\IRS. LEVI
(On back of llorsccar,
dropping
her newspaper
last. Applause.)
AUNTS
Levi!
Dolly
(.-\'!\IBROSE
(,\5
ERKESlI1\:\,
AND
(Continuing
as
Sill:
hands
out cards)
(SIlE
mOl'ing
at
board
left
ConShort
EREKSTI:>iA)
Monuments
Hotsccet
SHE'LL
KE1\lPER
i\IATCII
National
DOLLY(
Restored!
\,']}ic11 gi"es illusion
cross right)
of
enters
left)
'Et-.I UP
...
A~IBROSE
KE~IPER
... Mrs. Levi, the train for Yonkers leaves in five minutes
and if we don't get there on time.
xms.
(Getting
LEVI
off Horsccar )
as TOWNSPEOPLE
A~IBROSE
ALL
CALL ON DOLLY
SIlE'S THE ONE THE SPINSTERS
-+
RECO?-.lMEND
I know all about it, Mrs. L(Ti! Half New York says he's
going to propose to the widow i\10110) this very afternoon!
I 5
HELLO,
DOLLY!
II E l. L 0,
:l\IRS. LEVI
IF YOUR ELDEST
A FRIEND ...
LAST GIRL
again,
In
:l\Irs. Levi!
(SHE
(Singing)
\VIlO
purse to
AMBROSE)
\VHEN
MEETS
A GIRL \VITH
TOl"GUE
A DIFFIDENT
AIR
CREATURES
ALL
NEEDS
MRS. LEVI
MRS. LEVI
....
DA.UGHTER
I'll buy your tieket for you, Mrs. Levi! But I just hope
this isn't a wild goose chase!
stopping, looking
Ar..mROSE
A!\fBROSE
(Suddenl)"
LY
CALL ON DOLLY
(Handing
DOl.
THREE
LOVES
UP TO HER EAR
A MAN \\'IIO
COl\f.ES
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
DOLLY!
\VIlEN,
.. Ephraim
Levi, I'm going to get married again" I'm
going to marrv Horace Vandergcldcr
for his money and
send it out circulating
~1l11ong the people like rainwater
the wa y you taught me and I wa 11t a sign from you, sometime todav, that YOU approve. Oh, it won't he a marriagc
in the sense we had one. but I shall certainly make him
happy. And I'm tired. Ephraim!
Tired of "li\'ing from
hand to mouth so I want that sign, .. ,
(Short
dallcc
(Grand
IN THERE.
, "
, . ~ Irs. Levi!
l\lRS. LEVI
I know, ~Ir. Kemper, the Yonkers train is rcadv to leave!
N OW, you go buy our tickets, get a window scat, order
a good hot lunch and I'll meet you all board. ...
(lIE exits as SHE comes dowll
onto raurp )
A~mROSE
lIltcrluuc)
.. Something
" Now don't you \\"0 rrv , i\ lr. Kemper, we'll make that
we'll get to Yonkers, vou 'Il marry Frmcngnrdc
...
J ust leave c\crything to me!
(CumiIJg
(Jut of ~tatioll)
Mrs. Levi!
l\IRS, LEVI
today!
train,
[9
llELLO,
DOLLY!
r-.1RS. LEVI
( C01JtilluecI)
YOUNG
~L\IDEN
THEN
I ~IAKE
vtv
I l\ 10\'E
KNUCKLES
TIlEN
~lY INDEX
TIlE
PRE.\CIIER
ACTIVE
DIGIT
TO FIDGET
lad,-,
FR\IE!'iC.\RDE,
lca~'illg
r-.IY PALI\l
RE:\DS
SCENE
"
SO XITRACTI\'E"
PI:\J:(Y \\'IGGLES
tmv
L\NDERGEl.DER
A PSAL\[
VANDERGELDER
ERI\lENGARDE
I can't help it,
Kemper!
V ANDERCELDER
And I say you're too youllg to be in 10\e with anybody!
Here,
take this!
(Thrusting
V ANDERCELDER
W ell, I forbid it! Dare to be an old maid,
and I'll eut you off without a cent!
10
vcar
Ermcngarde,
III
IIEI>LO,
hits drum,
pIE
...
And don't
SHE
DOLLY!
HELLO,
screams)
DOLLY!
VANDERGELDER
ERMENGARDE
I can't help it! I'm unhappy!
(Running
to enter
CORNELIUS
Feed Store)
And what
VANDERGELDER
(Following
VANDERGELDER
her ill)
Then by thunder
you'll go weep in your room where
won't scare off the customers!
And weep standing,
don't want no salt stains on the pillows!
stamps
(HE
...
Cornelius!
(Trap
~l1d
on
it
CORNELIUS
Barnaby!
Yes.
CORNELIUS
VANDERGELDER
\Vhat?
CORNELIUS
CORNELIUS
Mr. Vandergclder?
VANDERGELDER
(To audience)
BARNABY
12
off a week?
VANDER GELDER
You're an impertinent
fool, that's what you arc! And
I'm promoting
you from impertinent
fool to chief clerk.
Any more questions?
You stamped,
.. , Evenings
nine percent
Mr. Vandergcldcrt
113
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
MEN
CUSTO~IERS
IT TAKES A \VO~lAN
PINK
TO JOYOlJSL Y CLEAN
THE SINK
AND
A~ Al\'GEL
L\SHES
AND
n CL\KES
GOLDEN
\\lITH
IN
LONG
FINGERS
o YES
A FRAGILE
TO BRING
14
A ~dISTRESS,
appear)
now
the
ENTIRE MALE
COMPANY
is
all)
(Spelling)
FEM-ITY
\VOi\IAN
IT TAKES
)'IORE ~IEK
(As
(By
THE ASHES
CORNELIUS,
BARNABY
.-\.:\D T\VO
CUSTO~ IERS
A DAINTY
VANDERCELDER
ALL PO\VDERED
DOLLY!
.'\ \VIFE
V ANDERCELDER
A \VOMAN
Get out of here!
\VO~lA.N
YOU THE S\VEET
THINGS
IN LIFE
(ALL
the
MEN
disappear)
I 15
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
VANDERGELDER
(Slamming
::-'lEN
CURNELIUS
v.:ith
run
A~IBROSE
congratulations,
a thousand
COI1-
VANDERGELDER
MISTRESS,
THAT
\Vhat?
\Vhat?
I\[RS. LEVI
Congratulations,
Mr. Vandergcldcr!
All New York is
buzzing with the news that you've practically proposed
to thc widow Mollov. The streets arc lined with eligible
young ladies prostrate with grief. All my congratulations
and sympathy ...
THINGS
VANDERGELDER
IN LIFEl
Sympathy?
this)
l\IRS. LEVI
ALL
and
LEVI enters
door)
....
Congratulations,
gratula bons!
V ANDERGELDER,
CORNELIUS
& BARNABY
(ALL
BiI.RNABY
l\lRS. LEVI
A HUSKY \\'Ol\L\N
;mc1
last, as l\IRS.
VANDERGELDER
TO BRING
CUSTOl\IERS
off. BARN:\BY
\,:\~DERGELDER,
COR:\ELIUS
& K\RN,\BY
TO TH:\T D.\It\TY
\VOl\IAN
T11:\T FRAGILE \VOl\.f;\N
THAT S\VEETHE:\RT,
THAT
\VIFE
o YES IT T,\KES A \VOI\IAN
DOI,Lyl
Did I say that? A slip of the tongue, that's all. No. 1'111
delighted with tile happy news, after all she wasn't UIleasy to unload .... By that I mean you know what people
said although I for one never believed the rumors, no I
didn't.
.1
17
IIELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
MRS. LEVI
VANDERCELDER
Rumors? \Vhat rumors?
MRS. LEVI
Nothing to get upset about, Mr. Vandergcldcr, according
to all known facts her first husband passed on quite
naturally! It's just that he went so sudden. One taste
of her angel's food cake and he was right up there with
'em. But it could happen to anyone. Just one word of
advice, Mr. Vandergelder. Eat out!
VANDERCELDER
(And
SHE
. . . her
Money! Erncstina
Moncv.
VANDERCELDER
What a lovely lovely name.
(Crossing to her)
particulars
~1RS. LEVI
~IRS. LEVI
handkerchief
VANDERGELDER
GELDER
(Crossing to her)
DOLLY!
forty-seven?
19
HELLO,
DOLLY!
MRS. LEVI
That's with the money belt. Now I could arrange for you
to meet this Ernestina this very afternoon.
VANDERGELDER
I ain't got time, Mrs. Levi! I'm going to New York City
this afternoon to march in the Fourteenth Street Parade!
HELLO,
SHE
VANDERGELDER
All rigllt, Mrs. Levi, I'll meet Miss Monev at the parade.
call on Mrs. Molloy
VANDERGELDER
Onc more thing. l\frs. Levil Suppose I decide against
Mrs. Molloy and I don't like Miss Money neither?
l\LRS. LEVI
Well then I happen to have one marc name
'0' II
him
his hat)
I\[RS. LEVI
all
I\ II. Vaudcrgelder,
puts
Horace! A vision!
VANDERGELDER
paying another
I\lRS. LEVI
110W
\I'OfT:'
DOLLY!
011 my list,
a name I know as wcll as my own but
MRS. LEVI
OH
as
continues hUJlJllling
goes upstairs)
melody
SHE
... You know, Ephraim, I think I'll have this room clone
over in blue wallpaper. Yes, in blue! Enncngarde, Ambrose, come on out here! \V c've got plans to make!
(.\..l\[BROSE alld
ER.l\IE:\C.\RDE
enter. Ligh ts go down
on ;'IRS. LEVI, .-I.'\lBROSE anci ERM.-I.NCAHDE seated upstairs as they come up 011 trap door where CORNELIUS
and BAR]\;.\IlY appear)
21
HEl.LO,
HELLO.
DOLLY!
CORNELIUS
CORNELIUS
Chief clerk! Promoted from chief clerk to chief clerk!
Aud if I'm good, ill ten years I'll be promoted to chief
clerk again! Thirty-three years old and I still don't get an
evening free. When am I going to begin to live?
BARNABY
BARNABY
Holy cabooses! How do you know?
CORNELIUS
DOLLY!
No!
HE
BARNABY
CORNELIUS
Holy cabooses!
CORNELIUS
And one more thing! We're not coming back to Yonkers
until we've each kissed a girl!
22
I'm thirty-three
23
BEl.LO,
HELl.O,
DOLLY!
Al\IBROSE
BARNABY
I'm only seventeen,
Cornelius.
It isn't so urgent
for me.
Mrs. Dolly
Levi, Painters
CORNELIUS
New York. Barnabvl
Broadwavl The stuffed
DOLLY!
Taught
MRS.
Elevated
trains: The lights
whale at Barnum's Museum!
of
BARNABY
A stuffed whale?
How To Dance!
LEVI
CORNELIUS
AMBROSE
A stuffed
whale!
BARNABY
Yes, Cornelius)
(Lights
(ERl\lENC.\RDE
Yes!
down
right,
lights up upstairs
left)
]'vIRS. LEVI
Now the first thing to do is make you financially independent. I know! I'll find you a job .. Can you dance?
AMBROSE
I'm an artist,
crics)
MRS.
LEVI
And what's
(Handing
\Vell
then,
2-+
him a card)
my card!
LEVI
wail from
Mrs.
ERI\[ENGARDE)
I ,'"
.:.)
HELLO,
DOLLY!
HELLO,
MRS. LEVI
LISTEN,
BARNABY
downstairs)
BARNABY ...
IN A PERFUMED
IN THE
ARE BRIGHT
AS THE
(THEY
NE\V
& BARNABY
slams trapdoor)
OUT THERE
THERE'S A vVORLD OUTSIDE OF YONKERS
\,yAY OUT THERE BEYOND THIS HICK TOWN,
BARNABY
THERE'S A SLICK TO\VN, BARNABY
OUT THERE
FULL OF SHINE AND FULL OF SPARKLE
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SEE IT GLISTEN,
BARNABY
26
AND DIrvlE
THERE'S
NIGHT
IN ONE OF THOSE
OPEN CARS
CORNELIUS
(Three explosions;
OpC.IlS
BARNABY
DOLLY!
WE'LL
AT DELMONICOS
AND \VE'LL
CLOSE THE
AND WE \VON'T
A GIRL!
COME
TO\Vl\; IN A WHIRL
UNTIL
\VE'VE
KISSED
27
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
DOLLY!
l\IRS. LEVI
PUT ON YOUR SUNDAY CLOTHES WI-IEN YOU
FEEL DO\VN AND OUT
STRUT DO\VN THE STREET AND HAVE YOUR
PICTURE TOOK
DRESSED LIKE A DREAl\l YOUR SPIRITS SEEM
'TO TURN ABOUT
CORNELIUS
(Running around tile runway,
followed by BARNABY)
Come on, Barnaby! We're going to New York! Elevated
trains, Barnaby! The lights of Broadway!
BOTH
TIlA r SUNDAY SHINE
IS A CERTAIN SIGN
THAT YOU FEEL AS FINE AS YOU LOOK!
(ERMENG_\RDE
wails)
BARNABY
Holy cabooses!
CORNELIUS
The stuffed whale at Barnum's
THEY
BARNABY
go dO\'v'nstairs)
\Vow!
CORNELIUS
Come on!
(The
l\[RS. LEVI, AMBROSE,
CORNELIUS & BARNABY
and
ALL
28
CORNELIUS
TOWNSPEOPLE
BARNABY
the runway)
(The
Museum!
and
BARNABY
29
HELLO,
DOLLY!
Station
HELLO,
DOLLY!
MRS.
LEVI
stops. )
ALL
ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD!
ALL ABOARD!
(The Train comes on from Jeft.
board it through following)
THEY
ALL
HELLO,
DOLLY!
'ru.vr
l\IUSIC
Yonkers Station
\VE FALL
SCENE
srart to exit)
(Babbling
enters,
l\IRS l\lOLLOY'S
a mile-a-minute
throughout
and
cross)
COUPLE
of the impending
marriage,
I tell you.
front
of
l\IINNIE
crosses)
SIlO))
cloor, tries
::\[I::\"::\"I1-: 1-':\ Y
tuns to speak
As
1ST
P.\SSFRBY
to audience)
. . , although
if you ask me he'll never take the place of
her late husband Mr. Peter Mollov mav he rest in peace
wherever he is I'm not sure, Oh it's all too much what
with late husbands
and new marriages and on top of
everything else ...
(2ND
COUPLE
cross)
Miss Mortimer
returning
this hat for the third time!
Same old storv, she wants more cherries and feathers.
Cherries
and' feathers,
to catch a beau I suppose,
although if you ask me she'd do better with a nice heavy
veil!
(SHE
32
33
HELLO,
DOLLY!
HELLO,
,
... Ribbons down our back, I liold her. Ribbon down
our back is what we'll be wearing this summer if we want
to catch a gentleman's eye, but she'd have none of it!
Cherries and feathers she wants, on today of all days,
when that poor dear sweet Mrs. Molloy has enough on
her mind with ...
(l\1RS.
(As
l\lRS. MOLLOY
I am marrying Horace Vandergclder for one reason and
one reason alone, Minnie! To get away from the millinery business. r hate hats! And I canna longer stand being
suspected of being a wicked woman with nothing to
show for it.
MRS. MOLLOY
SHE
t\HNNIE
(Following
her)
MRS. MOLLOY
Don't protest, 'Minnie! All millineresses are suspected of
being wicked women. That's whv I can't go to restaurants or balls or theatres ... that's all the proof they'd
need! Take my word for it, Minnie, either I marry
Horace Vandergelder or I break out of this place like a
fire engine!
(Pointing
MRS. t\IOLLOY
...
MRS. MOLLOY
... All right Minnie, let's have it. That's right, the question that's been on the tip of your tongue all week! Go
on, say it! Why am I marrying Horace Vandergelder?
DOLLY!
to hat box)
Miss Mortimer.
MINNIE
I'll take care of it.
MINNIE
Oh Mrs. Mollov, I didn't ask YOU that! I would rather
die on the rack- than ask you s'uch a personal question!
But as long as you did bring it up ...
3-t
:MINNIE
Mrs. Molloy, yon can't! You're a widow and that hat ...
well it's provocative, that's what!
35
HELLO,
i\IRS. MOLLOY
Is it, i\Iinnie?
(RclllOl'es
and feathers)
Well, who knows who may walk into the shop today and
provocative may be just what I want to be!
i\lINNIE
.i\Irs. ~Iolloy!
i\lRS. i\IOLLOY
(ReI1lOl'illg
trim
sinipu: beribbolled
lca\'ing
hat
sailor)
I'LL BE \VE.\'RI:\'G
RIBBONS DO\VN i\;IY BACK
THIS SUl\[l\IER
BLUE /\ND GREEN AND STREAi\ fING IN THE
YELLO\V SKY
SO IF SO\IEONE
SPECIAL COi\1ES MY \VAY
THIS SU.i\ll\IER
HE ~IIGIIT NOTICE i\[ PASSING BY
AND SO I'LL TRY TO i\IAKE IT EASIER TO
FIND ME
IN THE STILLI'\ESS OF JULY
BECAUSE A BREEZE l\UGHT STIR A RAINBO\V
UP BEl IIND ME
TIlAT i\IIGlIT HAPPEN TO CATCH
THE GENTLE\L\N'S
EYE .
AND HE i\IICHT Sl\ULE AND Tf\KE ME BY
THE I-lAND
THIS SUMMER
36
HELLO,
DOLLY!
DOLLY!
(Unbeknownst
to "IRS. 1\10LLOY, }'IIN'<IE has
come back into Shop through
cnd of tIlis
and now busts out ... )
quietly
j\HNNIE
(All in one breath)
No, l\Iinnic,
I don't.
Peter Mollov,
God
rest him,
was
to window and
looks out)
I 37
)
HELLO,
...
HELLO,
DOLLY!
'Men?
MRS. MOLLOY
Whv, I do believe they. mean to come in here!
MINNIE
(MINNIE
sticks her head back through curtains and
scrcams as MRS. l\fOLI.OY sings happily to herself)
SHE
(SHE
(Exits)
I\lRS. ~lOLLOY
Vampire!
38
and
shuts cloor)
CORNF.LIUS
CORNELIUS
We'll get an adventure out of this yet, Barnabv! All day
long we wander around New York and nothing happens,
then we come to the quietest street in the city and suddenly ...
BARNABY
Vandergelder!
CORNELIUS
:MINNIE
BAR;\ABY
MRS. MOLLOY
DOLLY!
into window)
CORNELIUS
You don't have to ask. Barnabv. When
you're mane
39
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
11<1\'C
CORI\'ELIUS
(Shuttillg
...
CORNELIUS
(Entering
BARNABY
you got
BARN,\BY
CORNELIUS
Here, Cornelius
IIackl!
BARNABY
And 50 reasonable, Cornelius! 1\5 reasonable as under a
dollar, would still leave us enough to see the whale.
CORNELIUS
You've got to pay him 110 mind, ru'am, he's come all the
wav from Yonkers to see the stuffed whale and he's all
excited. Just keep an eve on that street, Barnaby, and
maybe vou'll see it pass bv.
(Pushing
BARNABY
Here, Barnaby
Tucker!
~IRS. ~IOLLOY
Mv pleasure,
. . . K'O\\'
CORNELIUS
\Vcll vou see we're two ladies about town and ...
-+0
him to window)
BARNABY
gentlemen.
(Seductively)
llim up)
from workroom)
I\Iolloy.
DOL,LY!
It's sitting
I 41
HEI
.. l.O,
DOLLY!
HELLO,
I\ [RS. I\IOLLOY
(;\.:; COR:\ELIUS
Excuse
turns
13.\l{:\":\BY
DOLLY!
I\[RS. J\IOLLOY
back round
again)
COR;\:ELIUS
Do you?
CORNELIUS
OL ~cs, mam, Youkcrs! And forgive me for saying this
bur YOU should see Yonkers. By that I mean perhaps :-'[r.
i\ Iolloy would like to see Yonkers, too I
J\IRS. J\IOLLOY
Perhaps vou know him ...
COR:'\ELIllS
{-.[RS. I\10LLOY
Perhaps we do.
J\IRS. I\10LLOY
CORNELIUS
(Juyfulh-
Oh, it's always so foolish to ask in cases like that isn't it?
(C()R~ELIUS
011, that's too bad. I'm sure J\ II. Mollov would haw
I1l
Horace V a ndcrgcldcr?
B;\RNABY
ight be there
"+2
Do
YOU
know him?
BOTH
CORNELIUS
Oh. rcalh?
R.\R:-HBY
CORNELIUS
Of Vandergeldcr's
MRS. I\IOLLOY
\Vell as a matter of fact, M r. Hackl, I
sooner than you think.
lloisik alllong
No!
.f 3
bIb
HELLO,
DOLLY!
1'.1RS.
1'.1r. Vandcrgelders
tell me.
HELLO,
MOLLOY
a substantial
DOLLY!
MRS. MOLLOY
they
Come
out of there
this minute!
BARNABY
CORNELIUS
(Head
lIas
only
one
out)
We're as innocent
1'.-1RS.MOLLOY
BARNABY
w-n,
(At window)
Cornelius, I think
...
Mrs. 1'.10110)'!
as can be,
(SHE
I think ...
ML Tucker!
to
B;\.R~ABY
I\IRS.
0:0\\'
I wonder
(Picking
IvlOLLOY
up boater hat )
BARNABY
Look out!
(Leaping
VANDERGELDER
O\'CI
table)
CORNELIUS
(HUllS
Begging
your pardon,
left)
Mrs. Molloy!
MRS. l\10LLOY
Ccutlcrncn!
What
chocoia tes
011
ta hIe)
CORNELIUS
(Head
-+4
1\1RS. i\10LLOY
back out)
we'll explain
later!
Men?
Men,
1\1r. Vandcrgeldcr?
What
I 45
HELLO,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
DOLLY!
l\lRS. 1\[OLL01'
\':\NDERCELDER
A. customer.
What
on earth
about?
usuallv
l\IRS. l\[OLLOY
Yonkers!
as a matter
(SHE attempts
a 1a ugh)
. It's a Mr. Cornelius l Iackl.
city,
VANDERGELDER
VAl\'DERGELDER
And
who's
been
telling
you about
Yonkers,
mav I ask?
l\lRS, l\IOLLOY
Did
\'()U
sax Hackl?
, , .r\ Friend!
Nobody,
(Straightens
B:\RNABY
and a
l\IRS, l\lOLLOY
\Vhy, yes. , , ,
V.r\t-\DERGELDER
V ANDERGELDER
(Stooping
\ Vhat
He happens
tor cherries)
to be
1l1\'
11a
friend?
\IRS.
LEVI
:tvIRS, MOLLOY
(Also
before
stooping,
of them
EITHER
\,ANDERCELDER's
\Vc]], you
5CC,
cherries
so ~IRS, UOLLOY quickly takes
and pretends to shake it)
I3ARNABY'S
hand
hand snatches
hc , , .
VANDERGELDER
He?
-+6
(Cuming
YOl1!
for
it,
\ \ 'In'. shouldn't
she know Cornelius
Hackl? E\'CfY-.
bodv in New Y OIl knows Cornelius
Hack! He's here at
the opera, in all the fashionable 110111C5,why he's at the
I 47
HEl.LO,
Harmonia
Gardens
(SHE
DOl.LY!
Restaurant
three
HELLO,
times a week!
(SHE
VANDERGELDER
noticing)
Impossible!
Hes only got a hundred and forty-six dollars
and thirty-five cents and I keep it in my own safe!
i\'IRS.
LEVI
Oh Mr. Vandergeldcr,
you're killing
Hackls. They built the canal.
CORNELIUS
CORNELIUS
(Not
011
i\IRS.
(:t-.llNNIE
VANDERGELDER
\\'hat
DOLLY!
through
canal?
Dolly!
l\'IOLLOY
lJas entered.
last of above)
LEVI,
:t\'1RS. MOLLOY
board,
(SiIlIultaneolisly)
The Eric! The Panama!
MRS.
screams)
MINNIE
LEVI
Wa-a-ah!
Both.
VANDERGELDER
There's
MRS.
a man in there.
LEVI
VANDERGELDER
48
and
Now look here, if there's
a man
149
HELl.O,
HELLO,
DOLLY!
~IRS. LEVI
);0.
Mr. Vandcrgcldcr,
VA~DERGELDER
~o mall that hides ill ladies' closets can frighten
Levi! Stand aside!
me, Mrs.
I\lRS. LEVI
'\'0 man indeed,
~lRS. LEVI
Stand indeed, Mr. Vandergclc1er! That's cxactlv what the
court will want to know when you're accused of entering
that closet without a search warrant. I mean what do
yOll stand for if you don't stand for the law of this great
land? I know what I stand for! Important
things!
Like ... like _ ..
(:\[USIC
lip
as
SIIE
~IOTHERHOOD
Al\-IERICA
Sr'\D A HOT LU0iCII FOR ORPf-L-\~S
TAKE OFF YOUR HAT, SIR
\\,HILE YOUR COUT"TRY'S FLAG IS PASSING
)-0 II
his arm)
V:\:\'DERGELDER
For the last time, Mrs. Levi. will you stand aside!
DOLLY!
I\rRS. LEVI
Moses.
I 51
fourthat
was
...
HELLO,
leads
HELLO,
DOLLY!
MRS. LEVI
V,-\NDERGELDER
ALAMO
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
I REGRET THAT I'VE ONE
LIFE TO GIVE FOR MY
COUNTRY
IN THE vVORDS OF LINCOLN
ONE IF BY LAND
AND T\VO IF BY SEA
YES DAD I CHOPPED
THAT CHERRY TREE DOWN
(CORNELIUS
-7
)-
DOLLY!
ALL
MARCH,MARCH,MARCH
I 53
HELLO,
HELLO.
DOLLY!
xins
\lRS. LEVI
(Pmiling
stepping
Damn
COR:\,ELlUS
And another
down fIat,
over him)
the torpedoes.
(The
AIARCII,
under
that
1\10LLOY
table!
Center)
V.-\NDERGELDER
ALL
i\lARCH,
DOLLY!
\Vhat
the devil!
~lARCH!
i\1RS. l\IOLLOY
(TUEY
(A huge
LEVI'S
SllCCZC
done all
there couldn't
could. To
but
MRS. LEVI
1\lRS. LEVI
... So you see, Mr. Vanc1ergclcler,
be a man in that closet!
explanation
possibly
MRS
V.\'~DERGELDER)
as if there
1\If. Vanclergeldcr?
God bless you.
VANDERGELDER
VANDERGELDER
(After
a long, furious
pause)
1\1r. Vaudergcldcr,
there
(And
lIE
then
lIE
yO\1ng lady
Good
returns,
head
CORNELIUS
board!
CORNELIUS
V:\~DERGELDER
}"Irs. Mollov,
Aha!
5-+
...
I
55
day,
HELLO,
l\lRS.
(Pulling
table off
HELLO,
DOLLY!
l\IRS. I\IOLLOY
MOLLOY
BARNABY)
CORNELIUS
MRS. LEVI
The very thing, Irene! Send for the law at once! You can
have them both put away for years on a charge like this!
Help, police! Help! Only have dinner with them first.
l\IRS. MOLLOY
(I\IRS. LEYI
Dinner!
MRS.
LEVI
lIE
reads ... )
clerks taught
how
I\IRS. LEVI
Now
yOLl
MOLLOY
DOLLY!
xins. LEVI
CORNELIUS
(As
TIlEY
Absolutely no sense of rhythm is one of the primary requiremcnts for learning by the Callagher-Lcvi Method.
Just gi\'e me five minutes of yom time, Mr. Hackl, and
I'll have you dancing in the streets!
tries to indicate
haven't enough money)
B:I.RNABY
(SHE
56 I
57
HELLO,
DOLLY!
... We'll start with Lesson Seven, the Waltz Kick Turn.
Now it's simple, right foot, touch, left foot, touch, under,
back, around, touch, Back, through, around, behind.
(CORNELIUS
1rRS. LEVI
w-n.
I was.
MRS. LEVI
Of course you were, 1\1r. Hackl!
HELLO,
IvlRS. LEVI
TURN AROUND AND TURN AROUND, TRY
FLOATING THROUGH THE AIR
CAN'T YOU BE A LITTLE j\10RE ASTHETIC?
CORNELIUS
DON'T YOU THINK MY DANCING HAS A
POLISH AND A FLAIR?
r.-lRS.LEVI
THE 'WORD I THINK I'D USE IS ATHLETIC!
CORNELIUS
WELL :MY IIEART IS ABOUT TO BURST
MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO POP
AND NOW THAT I'M DANCING 'VIIO CARES
IF I EVER STOP!
...
...
CORNELIUS
\VO\\1, I'r.-'l DANCING!
58
Sport
j\lRS. LEVI
MRS. LEVI
TAKE THE SOMEONE \YHOSE ARMS
YOU'RE IN
HOLD ONTO HER TIGHT AND SPIN
AND ONE 1'\VO THREE, ONE T\VO THREE,
ONE TWO THREE
DOLLY!
BARNABY
downstage]
I 59
HELLO,
DOLLY!
CORNELIUS
I Ie's dancing!
MRS. LEVI
YOU COULD LEARN TO POLKA IF YOU
\VORKED A \VEEK OR SO
OR THE TANGO FILLED "VITH PASSION
SEETHING
BARNABY
HELLO,
MRS. MOLLOY
(As
60
THEY
dance)
DOLLY!
PEOPLE
61
HELLO,
... Well, well, look who's here! Mrs. Levi. How are you,
Mrs. Levi?
MRS. LEVI
HELLO,
DOLLY!
YOU
MRS. LEVI
lVIRS. LEVI
... Ephraim, let me go! It's been long enough, Ephraim!
Every evening for all these years I've put out the cat,
I've locked the door, I've made myself a little rum toddy
and before I went to bed I said a prayer thanking God
that I was independent, that no one else's life was mixed
up with mine. Then one night an oak leaf fell out of my
Bible. I placed it there when )/Ou asked me to lTlarry YOll,
Ephraim. A perfectly good oak leaf but now without
color and without life. And I suddenly realized that I was
like that leaf. For vears I had not shed one tear nor had
I been filled with the wonderful hope that something or
other would turn out well. And so I've decided to rejoin
the human race! I'm going to marry Horace Vandergclder
and Ephraim I want you to give me away!
(And SHEsings as Deserted Store Olio slowly
Did she?
OLD LADY
A year ago last September. It's been a long time since
you lived here, Mrs. Levi. Such a long long time!
(Her voice fades as MRS. LEVIturns suddenly away
away from the Old Store)
62
DOLLY!
you're crying!
I
63
HELLO,
J\IRS. J\10LLOY
011, Dollv, the world is full of wonderful things! Come
with us, Dolly!
l\IRS, LEVI
I will, Irene! I will!
(Crossing
011
runwav )
GROUPS
HELLO,
DOLLY!
DOLLY!
IlI11War
and through
CROWD)
ALL
\\THEN THE PARADE PASSES BY
LISTEN AND HEAR THAT BRASS HAR"MONY
GROWING
\VHEN THE PARADE PASSES BY
PARDON 1'.1EIF MY OLD SPIRIT IS SHO\VING
ALL OF THOSE LIGHTS OVER THERE
SEEM TO BE TELLING J\JE \VlIERE I'M GOING
\VI-IEN THE \VHISTLES BLO\V
AND TI-IE CYMBALS CRASH
AND THE SPARKLERS LIGHT THE SKY
I'M GONNA RAISE THE ROOF
I'M GONNA CARRYON
GIVE ME AN OLD TROMBONE
GIVE J'vIEAN OLD BATON
(Float with GIRLS and mannequin
dressed the same is pushed on)
BEFORE THE PARADE PASSES BYl
I 65
HELLO,
DOLLY!
HELLO,
IVIRS. LEVi
That's why I'm glad you suggested it! It's ten years since
I've been there but oh what food! And the fastest waiters
in New York! By the way I might be a little late so Miss
Monev will meet vou in front of the restaurant. Wait
till YO{1 see her, Horace, all in buttercup yellow with baby
pink shoes and humming an old-fashioned tune, 'Sweet
Rosie O'Grady,' you couldn't miss her if YOLl tried.
VANDERGELDER
(Pointing
DOLLY!
V ANDERGELDER
to the mannequin)
IvIRS. LEVI
Nothing to get upset about, Horace, a last minute substitution. 1\1iss Money had a sudden urgent business
appointment at the Mint. They ran a little short and
she's helping out. But she'll meet you at the Hurrnonia
Gardens Restaurant at eight o'clock tonight!
Ephraim
...
VANDERGELDER
That's
66
in the city!
67