Help My Kids Start The School Year With Confidence

Help My Kids Start the
School Year with
Confidence
Compiled by:
Table of Contents
Start the School Year Strong
Prepare My Child for a New School
Prepare My Shy Child To Go Back to School
Prepare My "Wild Child" to Go Back to School
Prepare My Special Needs Child for Back to School
Prepare My Troubled Child for Back to School
Family Ideas for Making the Most of a New School Year
New School Brings New Opportunities for Parent Involvement in Education
Are My Kids Prepared for Back to School?
Help My Kids Start the School Year with Confidence
Do I need this EduGuide?
Yes, if you want your child to start out the school year in K12 grades right—being organized, confident, and prepared. This EduGuide
can help you plan a great start to every school year as well as provide specific ideas for special circumstances such as starting at a
new school, how to help a shy or energetic child, what to do for a troubled child or a child with special needs.
2 ONLINE EDUGUIDE www.EduGuide.org

How does it work?
Help My Kids Start the School Year with Confidence
Do I need this EduGuide?
Yes, if you want your child to start out the school year in K12 grades right—being organized, confident, and prepared. This EduGuide
can help you plan a great start to every school year as well as provide specific ideas for special circumstances such as starting at a
new school, how to help a shy or energetic child, what to do for a troubled child or a child with special needs.
How does it work?
Quizzes help you know where you stand.
Articles give you the background information you need to make a decision.
ShortCuts help you take immediate action. Choose one or go through them all.
What will I learn?
l What your child can do to prepare for starting a brand new school
l How to start your troubled child back to school on a better note than last year
l Some tips on how to make the transition back to school as easy as possible for your child with special needs
l How working with your child to get organized in advance can offer that extra help to start the school year right
Quick Solutions
l What can I do in fifteen minutes? Take the quiz, “Is My Child Ready to Go Back to School?” with your child and discuss the
results.
l What I do in an hour? Take your child and meet with the new teacher in advance. Many schools offer Open Houses before
school officially opens. Find out if that is the case with your school.
l What can I do in a day? Read “Start the School Year Strong” and make a list of five things you can do to start your child off right.
Then do one.
A Good Start Helps Keep Your Family Going Strong All Year Long
The following are some family ideas to keep that new school year momentum going:
1. Meet your child’s teacher in the first two weeks of school. Meet them in person (but keep it brief: teachers are swamped at
the beginning of the year); and then follow up with an email or a handwritten note to establish good parentteacher
communication. If your kid has special needs or issues, discuss them briefly and honestly. Tell the teachers that you
appreciate them and that you’ll support them. Note: If your child has a physical or learning disability, be sure to meet the bus

A Good Start Helps Keep Your Family Going Strong All Year Long
The following are some family ideas to keep that new school year momentum going:
1. Meet your child’s teacher in the first two weeks of school. Meet them in person (but keep it brief: teachers are swamped at
the beginning of the year); and then follow up with an email or a handwritten note to establish good parentteacher
communication. If your kid has special needs or issues, discuss them briefly and honestly. Tell the teachers that you
appreciate them and that you’ll support them. Note: If your child has a physical or learning disability, be sure to meet the bus
driver, playground attendants, and lunch personnel and let them know how they can help. Because of the HIPPA laws,
personal information about your child is available to teachers but may not be routinely shared with support staff.
2. Read everything your kids bring home from school. Read every note from teachers; read over your kids’ papers; read the
school newsletter. For younger kids, designate a spot for all school papers—on the refrigerator, in a file folder, on a bulletin
board, or by the front door. Then teach your kids to put all important papers in that spot when they get home.
3. Organize everyone (yourself first). Put up a family calendar where everyone can see it and write down important dates (in
service days, parentteacher conferences, field trips, vacation days, etc.) here and in your personal planner. Working parents
need to plan far ahead for childcare on those dates (local YMCA’s often have programs for kids of working parents around the
holidays). Purchase a simple planner and show your child how to use it to record assignments, extracurricular activities, and
family commitments.
4. Plan ahead so mornings go smoothly. Start the night before by making sure your child gets enough rest (eight hours
minimum). A slightly earlier bedtime may make a big difference to your kid’s ability to function in the morning. Have your kids
choose their school clothes before bed (to avoid arguments in the morning and ensure that important items are washed and
ready). Have your kids load up their backpacks and put them on top of their shoes so they can’t leave the house without them.
5. Help your child keep up with schoolwork. Provide a designated place for your child to do homework, and make sure he or she
has the necessary supplies for being organized. Set a time to do homework that works for everyone and then stick to it. If your
child has no homework that day, read to each other!
6. Help your kids stay motivated and interested in school by being interested yourself. Volunteering shows your kids that you
care about their school enough to spend your time there. Be interested in learning. If your child asks you a question about
electricity or Bolivia that you can’t answer, look up the answer together in an encyclopedia or online. Read the information
together and talk about what you learned to other family members. Ask your kids to explain a concept they learned in school or
show you how they made a piece of art and be sure to listen and ask questions. If they are studying reptiles, take them to a
local zoo and visit the reptile exhibit or go to your library and find books on snakes and lizards.
7. Make School Work Relevant. If they are studying fractions, the next time you are baking, show them how measuring cups and
spoons divide ingredients and talk about how important it is to know the difference between a ¼ cup and 2/3rd of a cup (the
difference between delicious and yuk!).
8. Network with other parents. They are a gold mine of information and support. This is especially helpful if you are new to a
school. Our ShortCut “Connect with other Middle School and High School Parents” will show you how.
9. Encourage everyone in the family to read. Use a favorite movie as a starting point. Or help your child to write a letter to the
author of a favorite book. (Send it to the publisher. Most authors reply to letters from children.) Do all you can to foster your
child’s love of reading.
10. Remember the power of praise. Displaying a child’s best work is a form of praise. Add a special touch to an especially good
paper by having it laminated or laminating it yourself with clear contact paper.
11. Celebrate your kids’ successes no matter how small. Sometimes progress is measured in very small steps. When your
child does master a new skill celebrate with a special dinner or treat. Time spent with parents is the best treat a kid can get.
12. Save time for fun. When you are planning your family’s schedule for the new school year or semester, remember that play
restores the body and stimulates brain connections and makes learning easier in school. After all, there’s more to life than
long division.

long division.
Prepare My Child for a New School
Goals to Set Before Moving
Whether your family has moved or your child is making the middle school transition, starting over in a new building can be tough.
These social strategies can help:
l Accept your child’s mixed emotions. New kids go through many ups and downs. On one day, they may be mourning the loss
of familiar surroundings and good friends, and unsure of their ability to perform socially and academically. The next day might
find them excited about new opportunities. Allow your child time to feel bad—anger in children about a major change is natural.
If she won’t talk to you, suggest she write about her feelings in a private journal.
l Take a swing through school. It can be hugely comforting for a new student to explore the halls before they’re crowded with
kids. Most schools are open several weeks early; call to schedule a tour. Ask if you can time your visit to occur when your
child’s teacher will be setting up the classroom. A quick meetandgreet will make the first day that much less stressful.
l Make more friends, but keep the old. When you call for a tour, ask if the school has a welcomebuddy program. Some
schools enlist students or entire families to take newbies under their wings, showing them around and inviting them to join
activities after school. As your child forges new friendships, help her keep connected to her previous group through weekend
playdates or as pen pals.
l Take your own advice. As you encourage your child to get involved, you should do so too. Be on the lookout for volunteering
opportunities within the school. Lending a hand in any way possible is a fantastic way to meet the people important to your
child, as well as feel welcome and wanted in your new school community.
Source: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids (an online publication of the Benton Foundation).

Social Strategies that Work
Introducing (or reintroducing) your shy child to the social dynamics at school can be challenging. These social strategies can help:
l Ask yourself, “Whose problem is this?” Maybe your child’s shyness bothers you more than it bothers your child. If you weren’t
a shy kid, discuss shyness with an adult who was. Ask parents of shy children how they help their kids cope and make more
friends.
l Be gentle. Don’t force shy kids to participate in clubs or activities after school. Not having the option to say no can make these
kids withdraw even more. Instead, offer ideas that let them participate at their own pace. You might say, for example: “Your
cousin is joining the soccer team. Do you want to go to tryouts and see if you like soccer?”
l Get together with other kids after school. Help shy kids identify a possible friend (a kid they sit next to in band; someone
they’ve seen reading a book they read) and plan an activity. Suggest they do the following:
1. Pick one potential pal. Avoid adding a third kid to the mix, as this can result in twoagainstone situations.
2. Choose a comfortable, familiar location.
3. Plan an activity they enjoy and are good at to help them feel in greater control of the situation.

Social Strategies that Work
Introducing (or reintroducing) your shy child to the social dynamics at school can be challenging. These social strategies can help:
l Ask yourself, “Whose problem is this?” Maybe your child’s shyness bothers you more than it bothers your child. If you weren’t
a shy kid, discuss shyness with an adult who was. Ask parents of shy children how they help their kids cope and make more
friends.
l Be gentle. Don’t force shy kids to participate in clubs or activities after school. Not having the option to say no can make these
kids withdraw even more. Instead, offer ideas that let them participate at their own pace. You might say, for example: “Your
cousin is joining the soccer team. Do you want to go to tryouts and see if you like soccer?”
l Get together with other kids after school. Help shy kids identify a possible friend (a kid they sit next to in band; someone
they’ve seen reading a book they read) and plan an activity. Suggest they do the following:
1. Pick one potential pal. Avoid adding a third kid to the mix, as this can result in twoagainstone situations.
2. Choose a comfortable, familiar location.
3. Plan an activity they enjoy and are good at to help them feel in greater control of the situation.
l Roleplay with your child. Take the part of a new teacher, coach, or potential friend and have your child carry on a conversation.
Roleplaying conversations helps shy kids converse. Then switch roles and let your child play the adult or friend. Be sure to
keep this activity playful.
l Use parentteacher communication. Talk with your kid’s teachers—in person or by email if necessary—at the start of the
school year. Tell them about your child’s personality before major education issues crop up. Ask teachers which strategies
they use in the classroom to put shy kids at ease, such as pairing shy kids with outgoing kids for group projects.
Source: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids(an online publication of the Benton Foundation).

Social Strategies for Energetic Students
For a highenergy kid, every school day presents challenges: sitting quietly, waiting to be called on before talking, getting along with
others. Helping impulsive children tame their most disruptive behavior will make the school year pleasanter and more productive. Try
these ideas:
Find Outlets for Excess Energy
l Schedule activities after school that let your kid blow off steam, such as organized soccer practice, a bike ride, or shooting
6 some hoops.
ONLINE EDUGUIDE www.EduGuide.org
l Don’t expect your child to buckle down and start homework immediately after school; let him or her unwind first.
Source: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids(an online publication of the Benton Foundation).

Social Strategies for Energetic Students
For a highenergy kid, every school day presents challenges: sitting quietly, waiting to be called on before talking, getting along with
others. Helping impulsive children tame their most disruptive behavior will make the school year pleasanter and more productive. Try
these ideas:
Find Outlets for Excess Energy
l Schedule activities after school that let your kid blow off steam, such as organized soccer practice, a bike ride, or shooting
some hoops.
l Don’t expect your child to buckle down and start homework immediately after school; let him or her unwind first.
Reinforce and Reward Good Behavior at Home
l Do you let your kid interrupt at the dinner table or cheat at Monopoly? Home—where your child feels safe and loved—is the best
place to practice the school’s code of conduct. Praise good behavior, but also discipline kids for repeated bad behavior.
l For younger kids, first give a warning (for example, “You’ll have a timeout if you snatch that ball away from your sister again”)
and then a consequence (“You snatched the ball after I said not to. You’re in timeout.”)
l For older kids, put prized possessions in timeout. Warn them they’ll lose cell phone or iPod privileges for unacceptable
behavior—and then follow through.
Practice School Manners Elsewhere
l Library story time or other free community activities provide good opportunities for kids to work on sitting still, paying attention,
and taking turns. Without the school pressure of lessons and grades, the stakes are lower for everyone.
Work with the Teacher
l Make use of parentteacher communication to discuss your child’s highenergy personality. See if there are tasks your kid can
be assigned that let him or her get up and move, such as running errands, erasing the board, or passing out papers.

Tips for Special Inclusion
Learning with disabilities takes on additional challenges with the pressure of a new school year. Help ease your child’s way with

Tips for Special Inclusion
Learning with disabilities takes on additional challenges with the pressure of a new school year. Help ease your child’s way with
these social strategies:
l Save the date. Circle the first day of school on the family calendar so it doesn’t sneak up on anyone. As the date gets closer,
spend a few minutes each day talking with your child about what she can expect. Make sure to explain things in a way that
makes sense to her. For example, sometimes a child with autism needs to be read a “social story,” which is a straightforward
text that describes a specific situation in detail—from riding the bus to greeting classmates—with coaching on what will
happen and how she’ll be expected to react.
l Take a swing through school. Whether your child is new to the building or it’s the same one as last year, it can be comforting
for him to walk the halls before they’re crowded with kids. Most schools are open several weeks early; call the office to
schedule a visit or ask if you can drop by anytime. Your child’s teacher might even be onsite prepping a special needs
classroom. This is a great time to say hi, but don’t expect an extended sitdown meeting during this busy period. If your child is
in elementary school, end the visit on the playground to remind him that fun is part of the plan.
l Decide ahead of time how much information to share. Because some differences are readily apparent while others may go
unnoticed, carefully consider how and when it’s best to initiate parentteacher communication about your child’s situation.
l Watch for bullying signs. If your child comes home from the first day of school upset or afraid, don’t hesitate to find out why.
Start with a call to his teacher and move on to the principal if you’re not satisfied with the answers.
l Get together with other kids after school. If you lost touch with other children over the summer, rekindle last year’s
friendships—or make more friends—by planning an activity for the first week back:
1. Pick one potential pal. Avoid adding a third child to the mix, as this can result in gangingup situations.
2. Choose a location that is comfortable and familiar.
3. Plan for an activity she enjoys and is good at to help her feel more in control of the situation.
l Monitor your child’s progress. Your school will do this, too, of course, but you are your child’s most important advocate. Make
sure her school experience is adjusted as she develops through the year.
Sources: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids (an online publication of the Benton Foundation); Bonnie Davis, mother and author of the
"Let It Be Autism” blog.

Family Ideas for Students Struggling at Home
When children’s home life has been disrupted by divorce, a serious illness, death of a loved one, or other turmoil, it’s natural for them
to act up or check out. Starting a new school year only adds to stress in children and can increase potentially disruptive adolescent
behaviors. But there are ways adults can help:
l Ask for a hand and take it. Lean on extended family members, friends, neighbors—anyone you and your child trust. This team
can jump in during an emergency or pick up the slack on a routine basis, such as driving kids to their activities after school, for
example.
Sources: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids (an online publication of the Benton Foundation); Bonnie Davis, mother and author of the
"Let It Be Autism” blog.

Family Ideas for Students Struggling at Home
When children’s home life has been disrupted by divorce, a serious illness, death of a loved one, or other turmoil, it’s natural for them
to act up or check out. Starting a new school year only adds to stress in children and can increase potentially disruptive adolescent
behaviors. But there are ways adults can help:
l Ask for a hand and take it. Lean on extended family members, friends, neighbors—anyone you and your child trust. This team
can jump in during an emergency or pick up the slack on a routine basis, such as driving kids to their activities after school, for
example.
l Keep teachers and staff in the loop. Make sure your kid’s school has an uptodate list of contact people with their correct
phone numbers. If you’ve worked out a regular routine for carpool dropoff and pickup, give the school these drivers’ names
and fill out any permission slips that may be required.
l Remember that teachers care. Tell the adults who work closely with your child about his current home situation. They’ll want
to keep an eye on him and offer support, from a sympathetic ear to offering coping strategies before major education issues
occur.
l Ease into the new routine. Too little sleep worsens an already tense situation. Reintroducing the schoolyear bedtime routine
a week or two before the start of school helps kids’ body clocks adjust gently.
l Don’t skip backtoschool shopping. See if you can set aside an hour to help your child pick out a new backpack or firstdayof
school outfit. This ritual reminds kids how important school is, and new supplies can add an air of excitement.
Sources: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids (an online publication of the Benton Foundation); Dr. David Swanson, author of Help! My
Kid Is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents and What You Can Do About It (Perigee, Sept. 2009).

Linda Wacyk
When I heard the moan coming from under the covers this morning, I knew the “new school year” excitement was over. My fourth
grade daughter is no longer jumping out of bed, ready and waiting before the bus leaves its garage like she did the first week of
school. Now the real work begins.
To be honest, I’m not sure I’m up to the task. Now that I’ve launched my fully outfitted kids into a new year at school, I’d like to sit back,
balance my empty checking account and enjoy a cup of coffee. But veteran mom, teacher and education writer Elaine McEwan says
that as our kids settle in to new routines and bigger challenges, it’s time for parents to take time from family home activities to listen.
“Parents should be prepared to do some listening,” said McEwan, author of a "Solving School Problems" (Shaw, 1992) and "Raising a
Reader" (Baker, 1999). “And don't overdo extracurricular activities during the first few weeks of school. Give kids time to chill out.”
While they’re chilling, take a little time yourself to put down the paper, turn off the computer and do some listening to your child. The
9 first days of school can cause stress in children of all ages, and a little extra parent support can go a long way.
Sources: Robin F. Goodman, Ph.D., A.T.R.BC, Connect for Kids (an online publication of the Benton Foundation); Dr. David Swanson, author of Help! My
Kid Is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents and What You Can Do About It (Perigee, Sept. 2009).

Linda Wacyk
When I heard the moan coming from under the covers this morning, I knew the “new school year” excitement was over. My fourth
grade daughter is no longer jumping out of bed, ready and waiting before the bus leaves its garage like she did the first week of
school. Now the real work begins.
To be honest, I’m not sure I’m up to the task. Now that I’ve launched my fully outfitted kids into a new year at school, I’d like to sit back,
balance my empty checking account and enjoy a cup of coffee. But veteran mom, teacher and education writer Elaine McEwan says
that as our kids settle in to new routines and bigger challenges, it’s time for parents to take time from family home activities to listen.
“Parents should be prepared to do some listening,” said McEwan, author of a "Solving School Problems" (Shaw, 1992) and "Raising a
Reader" (Baker, 1999). “And don't overdo extracurricular activities during the first few weeks of school. Give kids time to chill out.”
While they’re chilling, take a little time yourself to put down the paper, turn off the computer and do some listening to your child. The
first days of school can cause stress in children of all ages, and a little extra parent support can go a long way.
And as long as your kids are listening, talk to them about how they can make this year the best one yet. Dr. McEwan offers these family
ideas.
Tips for Kids: Getting Ahead This School Year
1. Don't be tardy or miss class. The simple act of always being on time and in your seat when the bell rings will go a long way
toward impressing any teacher with your eagerness to learn.
2. Say something nice to your teacher once in a while. Extending common courtesies to teachers will probably bowl them over.
Not many kids say hello to a teacher, thank the teacher for anything, or even bring a small present once in awhile. Telling a
teacher that you really liked a lesson or think she did a good job will probably cause cardiac arrest.
3. Sit in the front row. Some teachers assign seats and often place students with attention problems near the front of the
classroom. If you choose a front row seat, you'll get more positive attention from the teacher, will be less distracted by what is
going on, and will always be able to see what is written on the chalkboard.
4. Make friends with someone in the class who gets good grades. Doing so will prove very helpful if you get in a homework
bind. This person not only will know exactly what the assignment is, but also can explain it to you if you call them the night
before.
5. Do extracredit work if it is assigned, and do some even if it isn't. Showing a willingness to go above and beyond may give
you the benefit of the doubt if you do poorly on a test or miss a homework assignment.
6. Remember that the teacher is there to help you. Ask for help if you don't understand. Go in before class to get help with a
math problem. Stay after class to doublecheck that you've understood the homework assignment correctly. Make an
appointment to see the teacher if he can't help you right away.
In your child’s world, not everyone values kids who work hard at school. That’s why every child needs at least one adult who will say
“school matters to you, and you matter to me.”
No matter how tough and independent they seem, don’t let them fool you. Our kids need supportive moms and dads to help them get
up and face a new day.
Linda Wacyk a former EduGuide editor from Grand Ledge, Michigan.


New School Brings New Opportunities for Parent Involvement in
Education
EduGuide Staff
Question:
We’ve just moved to a new city where we’ve enrolled our fourth and seventhgraders in the local school. We all miss our old school,
where we felt known and respected. Can you give our family ideas for getting off to a good start here and find out if the new schools
will do a good job?
Answer:
In the old days, our only job was to get our kids to school, clean and on time. That’s changing now that parents are, rightly, taking more
of a “partnership” approach to their kids’ education. I encourage you to begin parent teacher communication with the following kinds
of questions.
1. What skills and knowledge will my child be expected to master this year? Can I see your standards for subjects like math,
science, history and English? What kinds of work will they do to help them meet those standards?
2. How will my child be evaluated? How will you know if my child is learning and ready for the next grade? What kinds of state or
national school standardized tests do they take? How will you use the results and explain them to me?
3. What can I do to stay more involved? What can I do at home to support what is happening in the classroom? How can I learn
about my students' homework assignments?
4. How do you meet each child at their level? What if my child is a slow learner and falls behind, or is a fast learner and is
bored? Are summer school, tutoring or other programs available for students who need more help to improve grades?
5. How are students prepared for learning after high school? What outside activities do you offer to relate learning to the real
world? Do you offer access to career exploration opportunities? Does your school offer individual education plans?
Not all schools will welcome your questions about quality. But since society will hold you responsible for how your kids turn out, don’t
give up until you get some clear answers.
Adapted from “Strengthening Your Child’s Academic Future” by the Education Excellence Partnership, Partnership for Family Involvement in Education and
the U.S. Department of Education.
Due to the dynamic nature of our quizzes, they are only available on the web. Follow the addresses below to take a quiz on our
11website.
New School Brings New Opportunities for Parent Involvement in
Education
EduGuide Staff
Question:
We’ve just moved to a new city where we’ve enrolled our fourth and seventhgraders in the local school. We all miss our old school,
where we felt known and respected. Can you give our family ideas for getting off to a good start here and find out if the new schools
will do a good job?
Answer:
In the old days, our only job was to get our kids to school, clean and on time. That’s changing now that parents are, rightly, taking more
of a “partnership” approach to their kids’ education. I encourage you to begin parent teacher communication with the following kinds
of questions.
1. What skills and knowledge will my child be expected to master this year? Can I see your standards for subjects like math,
science, history and English? What kinds of work will they do to help them meet those standards?
2. How will my child be evaluated? How will you know if my child is learning and ready for the next grade? What kinds of state or
national school standardized tests do they take? How will you use the results and explain them to me?
3. What can I do to stay more involved? What can I do at home to support what is happening in the classroom? How can I learn
about my students' homework assignments?
4. How do you meet each child at their level? What if my child is a slow learner and falls behind, or is a fast learner and is
bored? Are summer school, tutoring or other programs available for students who need more help to improve grades?
5. How are students prepared for learning after high school? What outside activities do you offer to relate learning to the real
world? Do you offer access to career exploration opportunities? Does your school offer individual education plans?
Not all schools will welcome your questions about quality. But since society will hold you responsible for how your kids turn out, don’t
give up until you get some clear answers.
Adapted from “Strengthening Your Child’s Academic Future” by the Education Excellence Partnership, Partnership for Family Involvement in Education and
website.

website.
http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/quizId/63/view/StepTakeQuiz/Default.aspx

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