XIOVVtOIVc

\/vithout

arvorry
K.SriDhan1rnananda

NAMOAMITABHA

PrintedanddonatedfbrfTeedistributionby

TheC0rp0rati0nRepIblic0fHwaDzaIS0ciety

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E-mail:hwadzan@hwadzan.tw
Thisb00kisfOrfreedistribti0nItisIl0tf0rsale
PrintedinTaiwan

2000Copies;20l2October
HZ50-0l-02

CONTENTS
POREV/ORD

Xl

ACKNOLDGEMENT

XV

PARTI

WORRYANDITSSOURC

lPEARANDWORRY

3-/J

TbeCauseo{V/orry
PearandSuperstition
V/hatdoesI/orryDotoUs?
2OURTROUBLES

PacingProbIen]s
DevelopingCourageandUnderstanding
PuttingProblen]sinTbeirProperPerspective
3WHYDOWSUPFER28,
TbeNatureo{Li{e

UnderstandingtbePactsofLife
PleetingHappiness

ThePictureo{Life

CanWeSatisfyDesire?
PleasureisnotHappiness
Conten]plateonYourself
MENTALABUSEANDMENTALHEALTH

LifeintbeModernWorld

LifeasaBattlefield
TowardsMentalHealtb

PARTII

HOWTOOVRCOMWORRYNOW

5CONTROLLINGANGR

TheDangerofAnger
ControlIingAnger
6THDANGROFSLFlSHNESS

TbeNeedtoCultivateLoveand

CoInpassion
OVRCOMlNGALOUSYAND
SLFISHNSS

,8I

TheCauseof>ealousy
Awarenesso{theMind

Dealingwith}ealousy
8DALlNGWlTHNMlSAND
CRlTlClSM

MirroroftbeMind

82g

PickingPaultsinOtbers
V/battodowhenCriticised
DontBeAfraidofCriticisn]

9GAlNINGCONTROLOVERMOODS

2,

ConsiderationandKindness

ActingOutofCornpassiontoA>l
lTHPRSSURANDPLEASUROF
BRlNGINGUPCHILDRN

/2-//6

PressureonParents

PressureonCbildren

RecognisingPotentials
ParentsinModernSociety
llTHFEAROFDATH

21

CoIingtoTerInswitbDeatb
I/batisBirtbandDeath?

PeacefuIDeatb
DeathisInevitabIe

l2

WHYWORRYABOUTTHEPUTUR2,-2D

V/eDoNotV/orryAboutOurPuture
V/orryingAbouttbePuture
CbangingOne,sPortune
PARTIII
INGREDINTSFORHAPPINESS

BHOWTOPlNDRALHAPPlNSS

TheSearch{orHappiness
Ingredients{orHappiness
I/hereisHappiness?
FlNDlNGPEACEAMlDSTSTRIP
ANDCONPLlCTIJ
UnrestandGlobalConflict
Establisbn]entofPeace

GoingBeyondW/orldlyPleasures
l5MORALITY:THSANCTlTYAND
DlGNITYOFLlP,262

MoralConductandYoutb

BeingGoodorDoingGood?
CbangingOnesCbaracterThroughReligion
l6YOUMAKEYOURLUCKANDDSTlNYI69
DontBlan]etheStars

DestinyisinYourHands
PART

TCHNIUESFORHAPPYAND
SUCCSSFULLING

l>

SACRlFlClNGPOROTHRSWELPARE 382

KindnesstoAIlBeings
TbeSpirito{Benevolence
TbeRealConqueror
Hun]anVaIues

l8GNTLEsPEcH

I82

V/rongSpeecb
ActingV/iselyinTenseSituations
BeMindfulofTbougbts
CultivatingSkil{ulSpeecb
l9THEVALUEOPLOVINGKlNDNSS

22

LovingandKindness
CultivatingLovingKindness
ZTOLRANCEPATIENCEAND
CONTENTMNT

2O>-28

Patience

TbePowero{Patience

2lBHNGPRUSTRATEDlNLOVE

2og2,

BreakingUp
2zHAPPYMARRlEDLIP

262Z

BuildingaSuccess{ulMarriage
SexinMarriage
HavingaGoodMarriage
YOURBEAUTY

2222

ACCUMULATlONOFWEALTH

2282J

ContentnIent

ClingingtoMoney
TbePaultyEquation
UsingW/ealthProperly
Z5LlVINGlNHARMONYWITHOTHERS
MannersandCuston]s

Z3J2J

AllowingOtberstbeRigbttoDif{er
PatienceandTolerance

DipIon]acy
26

MANCANCHANGEHlS

ENVRONMENT

222

CultivatingVirtue
UsingtbeMindCreatively
OurMission

2HUMANDIGNITYO,
MoralShan]eandMoralFear

Di{{erentCbaracteristicso{Hun]anBeings

FOREW/ORD

CM:l:bb

rnanoncesunI]eduptbebun]ancondition.Ontbe
otherband,son]e{reetbinkerssay:Manisalittle
n]acbine,n]adepossiblebyanaccidentalarrangen>ent
ofaton]sandanaturalisticevolutionaryprocess.

Su{{eringisn]ansinescapablelotinbisstrugglefor
survivaLIthasnon]eaningot}]ertbantbat,nopurpose.Deatbisadissolutiono{chen]icalelen]ents;
notbingelsereIains.
Whilebothtbeabovearecon]n]onobservations

an]ongstcerta1nscept1cs,n]aterialistsandevenson]e
greattbinkers,otherphilosophersandreligious
teacbersbavetriedtodiscoverson]enIeaningsand
purposesinlifeespeciallywitbregardtotheproblern
ofsuffering.
AccordingtotbeBuddba,tbecbaracteristico{
everycon]ponentthingistbatitappears,decaysand
disappearslnanever-endingprocess.Allcon]ponent
tbingsaresubiecttoceaselesscbangeandcon{lict
(Dukkha).Itisenduredbyallsu{feringbeingswho

believeinapernIanententityorsoul.Tbisbeliefgives
risetoselfisbdesirewbichcanneverbesatisfied,tbus

leadingtofearandworry.
TbeBuddhaprovidedan]oralbasetobisteacbings
wbenbedeclaredthatwbiletbereissu{feringand
uncertaintyinexistence,nevertbelessitispossiblefor
n]antoexperiencebappinessbot}]initsabsoluteas
wellasitsten]poralsensei{belearnstodistinguisb
betweenskilfulandunslKil{ulactions.Todotbisn1an

IustfirsthaveRigbtViewwbic}]n]eanstbatben1ust
recogniset}Ieunsatisfactorynatureofbisexistence
andsensualpleasuresandalsotodirect}Iislifeintbe
propern1annertoseetbeendofuncertaintyandunsatisfactoriness.

W/hyWbrry

TbefirsteditionofW/hyW/orrywaspublisbedin
l967(l0,O00copies)andsincethenithasbeenin
sucbgreatden]andtbatithasbeenreprintednoless
thansixtin1esattberateof5,000copiesperprinting
Lettersofappreciationandgratitudebavepouredin
ron1variouspartsoftbeworldtbeU.S.,UK.,
GernIany,SoutbAfricaandaln]osteveryAsiancountry.Tbosewbobaveexpressedtbeirappreciation
oftbebookarenotonlyBuddbistsbutHindus,
Muslin]s,C}]ristiansandevenson]efreetbinlKers.

Tbeappealo{t}Iebookhasbeenpartlyduetotbefact
tbatithasbeenwrittensiInplyandwitboutpretension
andalsobecauseitsn]ainpurposewastorevealtbe
factsoflifenotonlyfron1theBuddbistpointofview

XIl

butalsobygivingreasonab}eviews{roIotberreligionsandgreattbinkers.Itwaswrittenprin]arilyto
providecon]fortandsolacetobun]anbeingsinneed
ofguidanceto{acetbebewilderingcoIplexityo{
n]oderncivilisation

Son]ebaveevenwrittenintosayhowtbeywere
preventedfrorncon]Inittingsuicidebyreadingthe
book,otberstosaytbattheyreadafewpageso{it
everynig}]ttobelptberntocaln]tbeirn]indstoassure
tbeIselvesthattberearesin1pleandpracticalsolutionstotbeproblen]softheworld

ManytbingsbavebappenedsinceWUWUfirst
appeared;Inanycbangesbavetakenplace.Inthe
interveningyearstbeautborhasgainednewinsights
relatingtobun]anproblen]sasaresultofreadingthe
nun]erousletterswrittentobin]aswellasinbis

{ruitfuldiscussionswithtroubledpeople{ron]all
walkso{li{e.Itwasdecidedthattbepublicationofa
neweditiono{thebookwouldben]ostopportuneat
tbistin]e.

Tbisexpandededitionseekstoaddressitselftoageoldproblen]sandtothosepeculiartoourdayandage.
Butitsprin]aryfocusren]ainsuncbanged:tbatisto
showbowonecanlivewithoutfearandworryprovidedonebasRightUnderstandingItatten]ptsto
discussproblen]s{ron]apracticalandbun]anistic
viewpoint.Tothisend,n]anyquotations,anecdotes,
wittysayings,fablesandsoonbavebeenincIudedto
showhowwisernenbaveviewedthehun]ancondition

acrosstin]eandspace.Manyo{thesebaveanoriental

XlV

flavourandson]ereadersn1aybavedifficultyin
relatingtotben1andfeelt}Ieyaresuitableonlyfor
tbosewhobelongtoaparticularculture.Butsucb
readerswillbenefitiftheycandifferentiatebetween
tbesettingo{tbestoriesandtbepointthatisbeing
n]ade.Afterall,universalproblen1sandtrutbsapply
equallywelltoallbun]anbeings.
ItisferventlyhopedtbattbisboolKwillgivefresh

inspirationandbopetowboeverreadsitwithout
cynicisn1anddoubt
K.SRIDHAMMANANDA
WESAKDAYl9/05/89
B.EZ5]]

BuddbistVihara

l23,>alanBerbala
50170,KualaLumpur
Malaysia

XV

ACKNOWLEDGEMNT

Wx

SarnarawickraIna{orassistingineditingthebook
andfortbeirusefulsuggestionswbicbbelpedtobring
thebooktoitspresentforn>.I/ealsoliketotbank
MsCbongHongChoowbohadspentendlessbours
lookingafterinnun]erabledetailsnecessaryintbe
productiono{tbebook,{roIitspIanningstagerigbt
uptoitscon]pletionThanksarealsoduetoMessrs.
CbarlesMoreira,Lin]TeongCbuan,LLG>ayawardene,H.M.A.deSilva,TebTheanChoo,Tan

TeikBeng,YauYueKai,TanSiangChyeandMisses
LilySee)Lin]MooiHwaHen]aC}]eab,>anetTeoh
andSusieLo{ortheirassistancelnonewayor
anotber,witboutwbicbtbepresentbookwouldnot
bavebeenpossib}e.

PARTI
W/ORRYANDITSSOURCE


FEARANDW/ORRY

WPtePceWbOtOetfMb
egOsCUtoxlemeoot
eOfOPoes.

Hdrnv:I

mundaneworldisnotfreefrorntbeseunpleasant
Ientalstates

W/}Iyandwbatdopeopleworryabout?Tbeir
worriesareduetovar1ouscoIn]1trnentsandresponsibilitiestbeyhave.Theirworr1escon]e1nn]any
var1ousguises.Tbeyfeelinadequatewhentbeycon]parethernselveswitbotbers.MaybeIn]notgood

H0WTOLIEW<THOUTPEAR&WORRY

enougbtodotbatioborIdontthinkIn]clever
enoughton]akeanirnpact.,Tbeyn]aybeafraidtobe
tben]selvesastbeyreallyareintbepresenceofotbers,
sotbeyendupsayingtotben>selves:Ican,tletpeople
gettoknown>easIreallyanI.IfIdoso,tbeyn]ay
loseconfidenceinn]eorbelittlen]e.,Sotbeyactand
pretendtobeson]eoneelsewbeninfacttbeyarenot.
Peopleworryalotabouttbeirpbysicalappearances.Menworrywhentbeybecon]ebaldbeaded,wbile
woIenworrywbenwrinklesstarttoappearontbeir
faces,orwbentbeyaretootbinortoofattoodarkor
toofair,tootallortoosbortandsoon.

Tbeyarea{raido{beingcriticised,attackedby
otbersorcensuredbytheirsuperiors.Theyareafraid
topresenttbeirideasoropinionsbeforeacrowdfor
fearofbeingridiculed,butfeelangrywithtbeInselves
wbeneverson]eoneelsepresentsthesan]eideaand
getscredit{oritTbeyfeeltbeyarebeingban]pered
bycriticisn]s,evenwbentbeyknowtbatsucbcriticisInsareundeservedanduniustified.
Tbeyareworriedabouttbeirfan]ilies.MaybeInI
notsucbagoodfather/n1otber/son/daugbterafterall.,
Son]ebusbandsworrytbattbeirprettyyoungwives
n]aygooutwitbotbern]enAttbesaIetin]eson]e
wivesn]ayworrythattheirhandson>eyounghusbands
n]ayIeavethen]orspendtbeirtin]ewitbotbergirls
Unrnarriedpeopleworryaboutbowtogetn]arried
whileson]en]arriedcouplesInayworryaboutbow
lonelytbeyarewitboutcbildren.Ontbeotberband,
tbosewhobaven]anycbildrenconstantlyworry

PEAR&WORRY

aboutbowbesttobringthen]up;Mayben]ywi{e/
busbandnolongerIovesn]eandn]aydesertn]eorI
wonderwbethern]yc}]i}drenwilltakecareofIein
n]yo}dage.,Son]eparentsworryunnecessarilyover
tbesafetyo{tbeircbi>dren,bavingenougbn>oney{or
tbeirdailybouseboIdexpenses,tbesecurityintbeir
hon]e,andtbehealtho{tbeirlovedones.

Intbeirworkplace,tbeyn]ayhavetofaceproblen1s
incarryingoutassignn]entsandbavedi{ficu}tiesin
n]akingdecisions.[W/bati{n]ydecisionprovestobe
wrong?,SbouldIseIln]ystocksandsbaresnowor
Iater?,Cann]yworkersbetrustedwitbnIoncyorwiIl
tbeycbeattbecon]panyduringn]yabsence>Son]eare
worriedaboutpossibIe>osses,ofnotgettingaproInotionorbeingentrustedwitbtoonIanyresponsibilities.Son]eotbersworrytbinkingtbattbeiro{fice
nIatesareiealousoftben1
In{act,tbelisto{worriespeople{acedailywould
beendless.Hun]anexistenceisfullofworriesand{ear

whicblurkwitbintbedarkinnercornerso{tben]ind

Manbasson]any{ears-{eararising{ron]insecurity,
{earofenen]ies,{earo{bunger,{earo{sickness,{ear
o{losso{wea>tbandpossessions,{earo{oldage,{ear
o{deatbandevenfearofthenextexistence.

Notonlydoesbeworryand{earwbenevertbings
gowrong,bebecon]esworriedevenwhentbingsgo
onsn]ootbly!Heconiuresavaguesenseo{{earinbis
n]indthatsuddenlyson]ethingn]aygowrongandtbat
tbebappinessbenowenioysn1igbtturntosorrow.
AIthougbson]epeoplesay,nonewsrneansgood

H0WTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

news,peopleworrywhentbereisnonews.Sucb
unfoundedworriesfilltbeirlifewit}Iunduefear.Sucb
{orrnofwretcbednessbefallsallIankind.Andnone

arefreefron]thisexcepttbosewboareperfectorpure
int}]eirn]inds

Tl>eCauseofW/orry
O{alladversen]entalstates,oneo{tben]ostun-

healtbyanddangerousisprolongedworry.W/hydo
peopleworry?Intbeultin]ateanalysistbereisonly
oneanswer.PeopleworrybecauseoftheconceptIe,
andrnine,orwbatisknowninBuddhisnIastbe
DelusionofSelf,.

Nearlyallanin]alslowertbanhurnanbeingsare
n]otivatedbyinstinct.Thisisnotsowitbn]an,wbo
hassuperiorthinkingpoweraswellasintuition.V/itb
bisrationalintellect,becreatestbeideaofaperInanentegoforselfpreservation.BuddbisIn,isuniquein
t}]ehistoryofbun]antbougbtinthatitpointsoutthe
Sel{-or-SoulideaisIerelyaconcept,withnocorrespondencetoreality.Pron]tbisbelie{ofself,aperson
developswrongideasofn]eandn]ine,togetber
witballcravings,selfisbdesires,conceit,prideand
otberunwholeson]etbougbts.Tbisconceptofself,,is
tbeIainsourceofallproblen]s,rangingfron]personalconflictstowarsan]ongstnations.
ProIthisideaofself,n]anbelievesintbefalse

notionofapern]anentbodywhicbrnustbesatisfied
andattin]esgoestoextrernesinsatisfyingtbecraving

PEAR&WORRY

>

body.The{earo{notbavingbisneedsanddesiresrnet
tobisfullsatis{actionbringsbin]worryandanxiety.
Hence,worryisnotbingn]oretbananegativestate
ofInindarisingoutofattacbn]enttoworldlypleasures.TbestrongertbeattachInentistoatbing,tbe
greateristbe{earo{losingit.Tben]oInentones
particularneedissatisfiedapersonstartslongingfor
anot}Ier.

Inasin]ilarway,onebecon]esa{raidofgettingor
con]ingintocontactwitbsoIetbingconsideredundesirableTbisattacbn]enttopleasant{eelingsand
dislike{ortbeunpleasantonesgivesrisetoworry
Son]etinIeswbentakentoextren]es,{earn]ayarise
becauseo{attacbn]entorassociationwithspeci{ic
obiectsorsituationswbicbarebarn]}essintben]selves.
Sucbcasesareknownasphobiaslikefearofdarkness,

{earo{enclosedspaces,fearofopenspaces,fearof
beights,{earo{anin]als,{earo{devilsandgbosts,{ear
oftbieves,{earo{enen]ies,fearofcbarn]s,illusory
fearso{beingattackedorkilledbysoIneonelurkingin
tbebackground.
Tbeworriesandsufferingwbicbapersonexperiencesarenothingn]oretbantheinteractiono{bis
selfisbdesirewitbcbangingworldlyconditionsTbe
failuretounderstandtbisfactisthecauseofn]ucb

su{{ering.But{orapersonwbobastrainedbisn]ind
torealisetherea}natureo{li{eanditscbaracteristics,

behasindeedn]adeprogressinovercon]ingbissuf{ering.Herealisestbatdepartureorseparationfron]
pleasantexperiencesandthosewbon]belovesare

HOWTOUVEW<THOUTPEAR&WORRY

unavoidable.Tbiscanbappenatanytin]e,wbetberat
thestartofacareer,attben]iddleorevenattbeend

Tbeonlycertaintyintbisuncertainworldistbings
rnustcornetoanend.Soapersonwbotbinksbeis
indispensableorthathen]ustbearoundtoseewbatis
tobedone,sbouldconsiderwbatwillbappenwbenbe
isno}ongeraround.Hewillben1issedandbisabsence
wiIlbe{eltperbaps{orasbortperiodo{tiIne.Sinceno
oneisindispensableintbisworld,tbeworldwillstil}
goonasusualwitboutbiI.Iftbatbeso,tbenwby
sbouldbeworrybin>selfson]ucb,harbouringinIaginary{earst}]atonlyharIhisbealthandeventually
sbortentheperiodtowardstbeendofli{esiourneyDeatb!

Tbeseparationoftogethernessalsobringssuf{ering.
Aperson{eelslost,deiected,bopelessandfrustrated
whenson]eonebelovedleavesbirnorberTbisisa

naturalprocessPeopleexperiencesufferingwbenever
tbeyarereiectedbytbosewbon]tbeylove.Butson1etin]esinsteadoflearningtocopewitbt}Iesituation
byallowingtin]etobealtbewounds,t}Ieybecon]e
paralysedwitbdeiection,ponderingaboutitoverand
overintbeirn]inds,lookingforwaysandn]eansto
n]endtbeirbrokenheartsSon]eevenexpresstbeir
angerandfrustrationthrougbvioIentInetbods.
FearandSuperstition

Tbereisyetanotberkindo{feartbatstalkstbebun1an
n]ind.Itistbe{earoftbeuncontrollableforceso{

EARWORRY

natureandoftI]cunknown.T}]isfearbasdoggedn]an
tbroughtbeagesasbe>earnedtodeaIwitbwildbeasts
andprotectbin]sel{{ron]theattackso{otbertribes.In
tbatlongnig}][o{savagery,intbatconstante{{ortto
dealwitbtbe{orceso{nature,theseedso{superstition
weresownintbebun]ann]ind.Andtbissuperstition
baspersistedandbeenpasseddown{ron]generation
togenerationuptotbepresentday.
Pearinitsprin]itivesenseisdescribedasanintense
en]otiona}reactioncbaracterisedbyatten]ptsto{Iee
{roIntbesituationwbicbelicitsitandbyphysiological
cbangessuchasbIanching,tren>ors,rapidbeartbeat,
drynesso{n]outb,etcAccordingtoawellknown
psychologistobnBroadusWatson,Joete

reeeeeotoeoeoeMejg
ozege.atsonsviewisthatearisinduced
inthenewbornbyasuddenlosso{supportorbyIoud

noises.Eventbeinfant,bebeIieves,n]ustreceive

a{{ectionandre-assurance,I]otberingn]ayeasetbe
tensionsarising{ron]basaIanxiety.Itisbelievedtbat
certain{earsinanewbornin{antcouIdbetboseasso-

ciatedwitbitspreviousexistencewbichbavebeen
brougbt{orwardandstillren]ain{reshandvividinits
mindandtbatvisionsrelatingtosuchpreviousfears
doson]etin]esn]ani{esttben]selves{roItin]etotin]e

duringearlyin{ancy.
I/ben{acedwitb{orcesbeyondbiscoIprebension,
tbedi{ferencebetweenthesavageandtbebeastbecoI]esapparent.Tbebeastadaptsitselfinstinctively

andsuccun]bstotbisforce.Thesavage,ontbeotber

lHOWTOLIEWlTH0UTFEAR&WORRY

band,wbensurroundedbywildbeastsstrongertban
bin]sel{,orwhencon{rontedbytbe{orceso{nature
Iikerain,wind,tbunderandligbtningornatural
caIan]itieslikeearthquakes,volcaniceruptionsor
epiden]icdiseases,willprostratebin]selfinallterror
ontbeground,pleadingprotection{ron]unknown
powers.PronIbisearlyperceptiono{apoweroutside
bin]sel{,wbicbbetbougbtcouldbeappeasedtbrough
prayer,iustasbebin]sel{couldbepleased,thesavage
developedritualandworshipandnIadetbe{orceso{
natureasbisgods.Goodforcesbecan]egoodgods,
wbileevil{orcesbecan]eevilgods.
PearcoInestotbosewhoareunabIetocon]prehend
tbebasiclawso{nature.Eitberasaprincipleor
n]otive,fearisthebeginningo{superstitiousbelie{s
ThenotionofincurringtbedispleasureofaCreatoris
instiIIedintotbeIindso{thefollowerso{I]anyreligionswbodependontheconcepto{Godfortbe
{uI{iln]entofeverytbing.Tbefoundationo{son]ereligioussysten]sandworsbipisbasedontbeinstinctive
{earo{tbeunknown.Tbefearcreatedbyreligionsis
tl]eworst{orn]o{{earsinceitin]prisonsandensnares
then]ind.Pear{ertilizestbegrowtbofsuperstition
tbat{Iourisbesinthe{ogo{ignorance.
Manyearnsforsecurity{orbirnsel{andfortbose
wbon]belovesintbisworldofconstant{luxwbicb

couldoffernopern]anentsolutiontobisproblen]s.
Tben]on]entbetbinksbebassoIvedaparticular
prob}en],tbeconditionssurroundingtbeoriginal
circun]stanceswillcbangeandyetanotherseto{pro-

FEAR&WORRY

1l

blen]swilltbenenIerge,leavingbin]confusedandlost
aseverbe{ore.Heisanxious,likeachildwbobuilds

sand-castlesontbebeachandisafraido{everywave
tbatcon]esin.

Intbiscraving{orsecurityandfearo{deatb,nIan
{allspreytosuperstition.Surroundedbytben]ystery
o{tbeuniverse,bedevelopsfaitbintbingsthatbe
{ears.Itisignoranceand{earo{tbeunknownthat
gaverisetoear}yreligiousbelie{s,andtbeworkingso{
tbeuniverseareexplainedintern]sofin{alliblesupernaturalgodswboaresupposedtocontroIeverytbing
thatbappens.Eventbougbsciencebasdonernuchto
dispelsucbn]ytbsandin]provetbeknowledgeo{
n]odernn]an,n]ucbofthesuperstitionsinberited
{ron]tbepaststillcontinuetoren]ainwithhin>andbe
basyettobreakbiInsel{free{ron]tbissel{irnposed
bondage.Superstitionsweakenandenslavethen]ind.
Superstitiousideas,belie{sandpracticesareingrained
notonlyan]ongstuneducatedpeoplebutstrangeIy
alsothewell-educatedaswell.

SocietyshouIdrecalltbewordso{theBuddhawbo
said:WeeoeueJeMMsesteo

OMteJe.

W/batdoesW/orryDotoUs?
Wbenenvy,bate,and{eararebabitual,saysDr.
A}exisCarrel,theyarecapabIeofstartinggenuine
diseasesMedicaIscienceiso{tbeviewtbatdiseases

|ikediabetes,bigbbloodpressure,gastriculcers,skin

1zHOWTOLlVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

diseasesandasthn]aareaggravated,ifnotactually
brougbtabout{ron1anxietyandworry.T}Iougbtcan
generateorganicdisordersaswetendtoattractwhat
weexpectinlife.Doctors{indthattbeirpatientstend
tobealinaccordancewitbtbeirownexpectations,
ratberthanhealingastbeprognosiswouldsuggest.
Mentalsufferingpro{oundlydisruptsgoodbealtb.
BusinessIenwbodonotknowbowtocopewith
worryandstressfulsituationso{tendieyoung.Those
whoreIaincaln]andn]aintaintbeirinnerpeacein

spiteoftbeexternalturIoilo{worldlylifeareinsulatedfron1nervousandorganicdisorders
Experience}Iassbowntbatagooddealofpbysical
andnIentalill-bealtbcanbetracedtoworry.V/orry
driesupbloodsoonertbanageSon]edegreeo{fear,
worryandanxietyisnaturalandIayevenbenecessaryforself-preservation,butwbenitisnotunder
control,constantfearandprolongedworrywillonly
wreak}IavocontbebunIanorganisIThese{actors
allcontributetotbeweakeningofournorn]albodily
{uncTions

AccordingtoIedicalopinion,intbetreatn]entof
n]ostfunctionaldisorders,closeattentionbastobe

paidtotben]entalconditiono{tbepatient.Tbeybave
alsorealisedthatworriesdonotsolveproblernsbut
insteadonlyaggravatetben]wbicbinturnwillcause
onespbysicalandn]entalruin.Inaddition,aperson
wboisperpetuallyworriedcreatesanunbealtby
atn]ospbereatbon]e,intbeo{{iceandinsocietyin
general.Tbroughrashactionsarising{ron]}]isper-

FEAR&WORRY

l3

sona}worryandanxiety,beupsetstbepeaceand
bappinessofotbersaroundbin]
>ustasworryiscapableofcausingson]ucbbarn]to
onesel{andotbers,soalsois{ear.Persistent{earkeeps
apersoninastateo{perpetualn]entaltensionand
anguishPearprogressivelyerodesli{eanddebasestbe
n]ind.Pearisapotentpessin]istic{orcewhicbdarkens
the{uture.Ifan]anbarboursanykindof{ear,bisway
o{tbinkingwillbeaffected.Thisunwboleson]eI]enta}stateiscapableo{erodinghispersonalityand
Inakingbin]}andlordtoagbost.
Sogreata}Ioldhas{earuponusthatithasright>y
beendescribedasbun]anitysarcb-enen]y.Pearbas
becon]ea{ixedn]entalstatean]ongstn]illionso{
people.Toliveincontinueddread,cringing,and
bauntedbythe{earo{devils,spooks,godsand
goddessesistbecon]n]onIoto{hun]anitywalIowing
lnlgnorance.

Pearcanboweverturntopanicincasesofunexpectedcriseswbentherearenopreparations{or
IT]eetingtbet}]reat.

z
OURTROUBLES

ACtrioCeeiotJ;We
CeCoJoegroCgetoCeie
COsOegCUOUgsOUe
t-rCgeiMreeogeogi
uUogJouejgJotg
teugeoU.Jti

L!

troubIeswillaIwaysbeapartandparcelo{bun]an
experience.Onson]eoccaslons,wen]aybebIessed
witbgain,{aIe,praiseorbappiness;andwen]ayalso
{acetheun{avourabIesituationso{}oss,ill-{an]e,

OURTROUBLES

15

blan]eandpain.Li{eswingslikeapendulun].One
Inon]ent,itswingstowardsfavourableconditions
whicbwereceivesoheartily;atanotbern]onIent,it
swingstowardsunfavourableconditionswbicbweso
desperate>yseektoavoid.
Insteado{understandingworldlyconditions,as
wbattbeyreallyare,peopleson]etin]esbavethe
tendencyton]agnifytbeirtroubles.T}Iisissin]ilarto
thesayingn]akingan>ountainoutofan]olehill.
I/benpeopleloseson]eoneorsoInetbingtheylove

tbey{eeltbattheywillneverbeabletobebappy
again.W/hendisturbedandbarassedbypeoplewbo
areinsensitivetotbeirneeds,they{eeltbattbeybave
neverbe{orebeensobarsblytreatedAndtbeycarry
thatburtintbeirn]inds,clingingtothepainneedlesslyandcontinuingtosu{{erwitbtbosetbougbts.
Woulditnotbebettertoletgoofsucbthoughtsand
realisetbatsinceaIconditionedtbingsrnustoneday
con]etoanend,sotbeunfavourablesituationstbey
areexperiencingwillalsopassaway?
I/esbouldunderstandtbattbereisawayouto{tbe
su{{eringandproblernswe{aceintbislifeNoneis
hopelessIyconden]nedtoeternalIisery,unlessbe
biIT]selfallowsittobeso.Itisin]portanttorealisetbat
allconditionedpbenon]ena,includingsu{feringand
alIprobIen]s,ariseoutofcausesandtbatnotbingcan
arisebywayo{independentcauses.Havingrealised
tbis,wecanputanendtoeachandevery{orn]of
suf{eringbydiscoveringtherootcausesofourproblen]s.

16HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

IhcingProbleIns
I/esbouldnotbedisbeartenedwben{acedwith

probleIns,butinsteadactwiselyinovercon]ingthen].
Noworldly-n]indedpersoncaneverbefreefron]
problen]s.Hence,itisnotson]ucbwboexperiences
problen]st}Iatn]arkstbedi{ferencebetweenawise
andanunwiseperson,buttbeIannerinwbicbbe
facestheI.

Socrates,wbosewi{ewasreputedtobebotteIperedwouldalwaysfindfaultwithbin]andused
tonaghin]alIostdaily.Oneday,whensbehad
{inisbedallwbatsbebadtosay,Socratescon]plirnentedhersayingtbatconIparedtopreviousoccasions,shebadonthatparticulardays}1ownson]e
in]proven]entinberdictionandstyleofspeech
Tbisshowshowawisepersonshould{ace{alse
accusationandblan]einahun]ourousway.
PanditNebruoncesaid:WerocePoes
rytooueteWezjetocetecetib

oCgooto
teiee,
EllaV/ilcoxgivesberviewpointonsn]ilingones
wayouto{troubles.

seDeOgOeet;
WfeMbOseOg

BteOte
steOeOse

WegSgoeog
temfbettOe

OURTROUBLES

AitsCOestees
AtesettJOt

eseset
IJtleJeteJogteeJ.
DrRabindranatbTagore,awell-knownIndian
poet,explainsinaprayer,tbeapproacbto{ace
problen]switboutbarbouringfearorworry
Leothtoeseteeoges
BM,eeJMCg
LeoM,egteg
BteoCO
LeOtCUeOtOee
BMoPepteCetOeeO

Son]etbingunpleasantbappens,say,our{avourite
tbingorpossessionislostorisaccidentallybroken
Tberearetwowaysofreactingtotbelossanddan]age.
V/ecaneitberchoosetobroodoverit,byblaIing
eitberourselvesorothers.Orwecanpassitoffby
sayingTbetbingisgoneItisbadenougbtobavelost
it,butwbysbouldweallowitton]aIKeusun}]appy
tosuffertbelossanddan]age?ItwouldbeusefuI
totracebacktotbecausestbatbadledtothebreakage
andlosssoastoavoidsucbanoccurrenceintbe
utureWecanalsotbinkaboutbowtbelosscanbe

replaced,orbowtoavertwbateverprobleIstbatn]ay
arisefroIntbatloss.I{tbelossiso{norealconse-

quencetootbers,wen]ayevenstarttodoson]etbing

18HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

elsetotakeourrnindfron1tbeincident,sinceitisin

thenatureofcon]poundedtbingstbatsucboccurrencesbappen.Sbouldanunfortunatetbingbappen
andifitisbeyondourcontrol,tbenwitbtbesupport
ofourunderstandingo{tbenatureo{life,wen]ust
bavetbecouragetofaceit.
Inotberwords,adoptapositivefran]eo{rnind
wbenfacedwitbsucbproblen]s,ratbertbanletit
dwellonnegativestates.I{unbappinesssbouldarise
duetoanegativefran]eofn]inditisreallyofourown
doingorseeking.
AccordingtotbeBuddha,ee
tMJceeeJttes.
TheBuddbaalsotaughttbatoursorrowsarecaused
byourownactionsandarisefron]ourownignorance.
Hesbowedusbowtoren]ovesorrow,butweour-

selvesIustworktogainbappiness.

DevelopingCourageandUnderstanding

Allnegative{orcescanbeuprootedbytbecorrect
rnetbodofnIeditationorn]entalcuItureastaugbtby
theBuddba,becausetheuntrainedn]indistben]ain

causeofsuchillnessorproblen]s.TbeBuddbabadsaid
tbattben]indisverybardtoperceive,extren]ely
subtIeanditwandersatwilI.AwisepersonwiIlguard
itasaguardedn]indisconducivetohappiness.
Itiscon]Ion{orpeopIetob}an]eothersfortbeir
worries,especiaIywhentheydonot{indasolutionto
theirproblen]s.Undertbesecircun]stances,itisso

OURTROUBLES

>9

convenientto{indascapegoat:soIeonewbocouldbe
blan]edfortboseproblen]sandonwhorngrievances
couldbevented.W/benacbildisburtitstartstocry
Tostopitfron]cryingandtonIakeitfeelbetter,its
n]otberpretendstobitanotberpersoniusttos}]owt}]e
cbildtbatheorsbe}Iadbeenresponsibleforbaving
causedittocry.Tbechildbeingsatisfiedthatits
vengeancebadbeenaccon>plisbedstopscryingand
startstosrnileTbisclearlyshowsthatt}Ietakingo{
revengeonsorneonegivessatisfactiontotbeordinary
hun]anrnind.

ItisaIwaysbardtoadn]itonesshortcon]ings,and
soeasytolaytbeblan]eonson]eoneelseInfact,son]e
wouldeventakepleasureindoingsobutitisawrong
attitudetoadopt.W/}]en{acedwitbasin]ilarsituation,
wesbouIdnotberesentfulorangrywithotbers.W/e
sboulddoourutIostinapainstakingandcaln]wayto
solveourownprobleInsItisalwaysgoodtorernen1ber
tbatwhileotberscancreatedisturbanceswbichprovide
conditionsfortbearisingofworrieswitbinusnoone
cancreateworriesinourn]indifweknowhowto

guardourselveswel>.
IntheDhan1napada,theBuddbasaid:YooJt
eeOMOJCDOO,
gMOeJteeooee!Ps
OteOoteoote
ebZtDe.

The{ollowinginiunctionsbyawell-lKnownpoetcan
belpustofaceourtroubIeswitbcourageandwitbout
barbouringresentn]entinourhearts.

2HOWTOL<VEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

HbDef

IfeePoeeUo
AeogteJZJgtooJ
OtUOeeOsOU
BeOcejOgtOO

oMOetietg
OeigeooMeeS
OegtMotgetog
oootoogoootooSe

jOetMeJW,
ocotergUo
IfoCeDJ
AtcoJeo!POJeJej
OeOelegJ
AoetPtC-to
AoJesttgttM,egg
AOM,eteOOOO
WetOetlettUeoe
toJtMUestOetPOs
OeetegDgeotooe
AMJtototePgootooj

joCCeoeMeeJe
oJeUeogeeeoe
AJoooeteeJogo
ExCePeCJtOteHOO

OURTROUBLES

2l

otCOecPOUe
OhoKgotoecooto;
eeeoOUgeJtO
AeCOtOtOetOOC,
tegtjgte
WtUseCoMJOtCe
Y0MeEteUeUgttMt
AlOeesO
W/henwearefacedwith{ear,considerablecourage
isrequiredtorecognisetbetrutbofitsorigin,andstill
greatercouragetoaccepttbattrut}Iafterwebave
experienceditW/eattractwbatwefearandwbenwe
con{rontfearstbeydisappear.Gettingtbatfearout

intotbeopenandfrankly{acingitisofprirnary
iIportance.Ifwecanobiectivelytracetbeoriginof
tbe{ear,wewouIdbavewonbalftbebattleofovercornlng1t.

W/ben{acedwitbworries,weshouldnotweara

sulky{aceandexbibitittotberesto{tbeworld.
Everyonehasenougho{bisorberownproblen]s,
witbouthavingtoaddonsornetbingextrafrorn
son]eoneelse.IfwelikewecouldconfideourprobIeInswitbanotberpersonorspeaktoson]eonewbo
canreallybelpus,butnotaddtotbeIiseryo{one
whocannot.

Dowebavetbecourageandstrengtbton]aintaina
sn]ilewben{acingdif{iculties?Itisnotreal}ydifficult,
i{weweretoreducetheegoisn]whicb}eadsoneto
believetbatonlybeorsbeaIoneneedscon]fortingIn

22HOWTOLIEW<THOUTPEAR&wORRY

addition,weshouldalsocountourblessingsratber
thanshortconIings.AlwaysreInenIbertbesaying,?
cOLJetOJOeJtO
o.Whenwethinktbuswewillrealisetbat
therearen]anypeoplewbon]aybeinanevenworse
positionthanweourselves,andagainstthisunderstandingourownprobIen]canbereducedaccording}y.
Thinkingo{otbersrathert}Mnbroodingoverour
ownprobIen]sisalsoawayo{beingbappy.The
personwhoisbusyn]akingotbersbappywillbaveno
tiInetothinkofhisownseIfishneeds

AnotedBritishanatornistwasonceaskedbya
student:Wbatisthebestcure{orfear?,Hisanswer

was,ogsoegJoeoe.Tbestudent
wasconsiderabIyastonishedandrequestedforfurtber
clarification.Inreplytheinstructorsaid,Youcan,t
bavetwoopposingsetso{tboughtsinyournIindat
oneandthesan]etin]eOnesetoftbougbtswillalways
drivetbeotherout.I{,{orinstance,yourIindiscoIpIetelyoccupiedwithanunselfishdesiretobelp
son]eoneelse,youcan,tbebarbouring{earattbesan]e
tin]e.,Tbisnotionthatitisin]possibletohavea
whoIesornetboughtandanunwbolesonIetboughtat
oneandthesan]etiIehasbeenpointedoutintbe
Buddba,steacbings.Byconstantlystrivingtodevelop
awholesornestateo{rnind,wecanleavenorooInfor
delusionorfeartotakeroot.Inaddition,wewillalso

beableton1aintainawarn]{eelingo{bavingdone
sornethingusefuI{oranother.
Anin1portantstepincontrollingtbenIindistbe

OURTROUBLES

z3

discipliningoftbebodyandspeecb.Tbefivesense
organsnan]elyeyes,nose,tongue,ears,andbody
-providelivingbeingswithsense-inforn]ation
{ronltbeirenvironn]ent.Tbeeyesseeobiectswbich
createtbougbts.Likewise,tbeearsaredrawnto
soundsandtbenosetosInellswbichalsocreate

tbougbts.Arising{ron]thesensein{orn]ationo{seeing,hearing,sn]ellingtastingandtouchingtben]ind
distinguisbestbatwbichispleasant,unpleasantand
neutral.Inaddition,ita}sodictateswbatthebody
sboulddoinresponsetotbesan]esignal.Mostpeople
respondtotbeirsense-obiectsspontaneouslydevelopingattachIenttopleasantobiectsandaversionto
unpleasantobiectsTbereareveryfewpeoplewboare
notcontrolledbytbeseconditionedresponses.
Onen]ustlearntocontrolonest}]ougbtsinorder
tobaveabettercontroloveronesbodyandspeech
Tbougbtscanbeclassi{iedaswholeson]eandunwboleson]e.V/bolesornethoughtsarethosetbatcontributetot}IedevelopIento{apositivecbaracter,
properattitudeandrightbebaviour.Sucbtbougbts
areconducivetothebene{itandwell-beingofInankind.Ontbeotberband,tbougbtswbichundern]ine
thedevelopIentofapositiveindividualandcontributetothedetrin]ento{Inankindareunwboleson]e

thougbts.
Onesbouldlearntorecognizethenatureofones
tbougbtsastheyarisefroInn]on]enttornon]ent,
distinguishingthewboleson>etboughts{ron]tbe
unwholesonIeones.Onceapersonbasdevelopedthe

H0WOLEWlTHOUTEARWOY

{acilityo{watcbingbisthoug}1ts,bebasn]adeasigni{icantbeadwayinnurturingwboleson]ethoughtsI{
thethoughtSinbisn]indareunwholeson]e,beappIies
rigbte{{orttoren]ovesuchunwboleson]etbougbts,
andatthesan]etin>epreventsthearisingofsucb
tboughts.I{thethoughtsarewbo}eson]ebeusesrigbt
e{{orttocuItivateandpron]otesucbthougbts.In
otherwords,througbthecuItivationo{awarenesso{
one,sthougbts,apersoncanlearntohavecontrol
overthen]indinsteado{beingreactivetosense
in]pu}ses{edbyhissenses.

Tbeprocesso{discipIiningtbebodyandpuri{ying
speechandnindbringshappiness.veryonewantsto
IivehappiIy,andbappinessiseveryone,sbirtbright.
Toachievebappinesstowhicboneisentitled,we
shouldpractisetI]eseI{-cleansingprocesspreScribed
bvtbeBuddba:

l)TodiscardaIIunwboIeson]ethougbtstbatbave
arlsen;

ZToeIirninateunwloIesonetbougbtsasthey
arlse;

])Tonurturewholeson]etboughtstbathave
arisenbyputtingtben]intodaiIypractice;and
4)Tocu}tivatewboIesometbougbtst}ntbavenot
yetarlsen.

Tbese{oursin]pIeguidelinescaneasilybepractised
inourdailyIives.Thisisoneoftbewayston]aintain
ahealthynIindwhicbeveryonecan{oIIow.Altbough
n]anyn]aychoosenotto{ollowitbutwouldpre{erto

OURTROUBLES

25

giveintothedictateso{theircraving,desireand
aversion,weshouldnot{ollowsuiti{wesincerely
wisbtohavehappiness.Itisnevertoolatetostart
practisingsel{-awarenessanddisciplinetocultivatea
positive,wbolesorneandcreativeIind.Anytin]eisa
goodtiIetostart,especiallystartingfroInow.
PuttingProb>en>sinTheirProperPerspective

SoIetiIneswhenweare{acedwithaseriousproblen],
we{eeldepressedwitbitsseeIningnIagnitudeand
weigbt.V/bentbisbappens,itispro{itabletowander
outintbeeveningandlookupattbesky.W/esee
countlessnun]berso{stars.Pron]outerspace,tbesun
inoursolarsysten]willonlyappearasoneo{the
innun]erablenun]berofstars.Iftbesunweretodis-

appearsuddenly{ron]space,woulditsabsencebe
noticed{ron]outerspace?
Ourworldisonlyatinyspeckintheuniverse
V/hatifweweretodisappear{ron]t}]eworld,would
itbeofanyuniversalsigni{icance?Ourlovedonesand
{riendso{coursewilln1issusforatin]e,butbesides

then1,IaybenooneelsewouldButcon]paredto
ourselves,hown]uchsn]allerareourtroubles?W/ben

weconsidertbevastnesso{theuniversewitbtbetiny
speckwbicbtheSunisandthetinierspeckwbicbwe
callt}Ieworld,andourtroubleswillappearvery
n]inuteindeedinconIparison.

Ifwecanseeourproblen]sintbisperspective,we
wouldunderstandtbe{irststepoftbeNobleEigbt-

26HOWOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

{oldPath,tbatis,RigbtViewpoint.Thiscanalso
n]eanarigbtsenseo{values,thatisbynottbinking
thatwearen]oreirnportantthanwereallyareAndif
wecandevelopthisviewpoint,wewillknowwhat
thingsinlifen]atterandw}Mtdonot,andthatour
troubleswhichcon]eandgoareofnorealsignificance.Ponderforan]on]entthesignificanceofthe
undern]entionedvaluablesayinginIs}arn
JteoceO
sooiJe
oegeJePo
PEeJGVie
PPC

TroubIeswillsoonpass.W/hathadcausedyou
toburstintotearstodaywil>soonbe{orgotten
toInorrow.Yournayperbapsren]ernberthatyou
criedbutrnaybenottbeexactcircun]stanceswhich
causedthetears.Aswgothrougie,wewasteso
n]ucbrnentalenergywhenweIieawakeatnigbt,
broodingoverson]ethingthathadupsetusduringthe
day.V/enurseresentrnentagainstson]eoneandkeep
runningthesan]etboughtsoverandoveragain
t}Troughourn]ind.Butisitnotsothatwbilewen]ay
{allintoarageaboutson]etbingnow,thata{terson]e
tin]ehaseIapsedandotberprobIen]sarisewhich
wouldseen]tobernorepressing,wen]aybeginto
wonderwbatitwasthatinthe{irstplacewewereso

OURTROUBLES

z>

angryabout?I{were{lectonpastresentn]ents,we
wilIbesurprisedto{indbowwebavedeliberateIy
continuedtobeunbappywhenwecouIdbavein{act
puttbatunbappinesstoastopbydoingortbinking
aboutson]etbingeIse
W/bateverourtroub>es,howevcrpressingtbeyn]ay
appear,tin]ewillbealourwounds.Butbesidesleaving
thingstotin]e,surelytberen]ustbeson]ethingwecan
dotopreventourselves{ron]beinghurtintbe{irst
place.V/ecouldn]aintainourpeaceofn]indbynot
allowingpeopleortroublestodrainourenergiesaway
sinceitisourselvesandnototberswhocreateour

unhappiness
W/egainacaden]icknow|edgewithoutpersonal
experienceArn>edwithacaden>icknowledgeson]e
youngpeopIethinktbeycansolvealltbeworldsproblen]sSciencecanprovidetben]aterialthingstosolve
ourproblen]s,butitcannotbelpustosolveourspiritualproblen>s.TbereisnosubstituteforwisepeopIe
wbobaveexperiencedtbeworld.Thinkaboutthissaying,W/benIwasl8,Ithoughtwhata{ooln]y{atber
wasNowthatIan]Z8,Ian]surprisedhown]ucbtbe
oldn]anhaslearnedinl0years!,,Itisnotthe{atber
tbatbaslearned,ratberitisyouwhobavelearnedto
seetbingsinan]atureway.

3
WHYDOWESUFFER

eeqfJbgogSeseC
toeeeeeteegie5Clge5.
BC

Tf

Itn1aybeuse{ultolookintobislifeandhissearch
intotbecauseandcure{oruniversalsu{{ering.
Asaprince,SiddhartbaIedasbelteredli{ean]idst
thesplendour,beautyandsecurityo{bispalace.Hc
knewnodiscon]fort,on}yeaseandluxury.Dayand
nigbt,bewasentertainedbybeauti{u}n]aidsand

WHYDOWESUPFER>

29

attendants,bycourtn]usiciansandenticingdancers
He}Iadeverythingan]anwouldwantofeartblypleasures,yetbefeltavoidinbisprincelyli{e.
W/bileventuringoutoftbepalaceoneday,Siddbartbasaw{oursig}Its,whichn]aybeordinarytoour
eyesbutwbicbtobin]badagreatin]pact.Hesawon
separateoccasionsanoldn]an,asicknIan,adeadnIan
andan]endicantorn]onkTbesefoursigbtsIadea
deepin]pressiononbin1,asbebadseentbenI{ortbe
{irsttin>einbisadultlifeHewassbockedattbe

natureofworldlysu{{eringhunlansaresubiected
toa{terbavingwitnessedtbe{irstthreesigbts.It
ren]indedbin]thatoldage,sickness,and{inally,
deatb,weretbecon>Ionloto{}Iun]anity,andtbatbe
toowouldonedaybavetofacetbesan]efate
However,itwasthesigbto{an]endicant,wbicb
gavebiItbe}Iopeo{deliverance.ItgavebinItbe
inspirationandcouragetorenouncebisregalposition
andallworldlypleasurestoseektheTruthtbatwould
belpsu{feringbun>anity.
Onenightbeturnedbisbackonn]aterialpossessions
andwentinsearcboftbeuniversalanswerstotbe

problen1so{existenceTbatwastbenightwbenheleft
thepalacequietly,dressedonlyinasinglerobe.Por
sixlongyears,bebardlyknewwheretogoortorest
Hebadnocon]panionsandnoproperIeals,except
wbatthepeoplegavebin].Heatefron]tbealn]sbowl
likeacon>Inonbeggar.Havingbeenusedtoalifeof
luxury,bealIosttbrewupattbe{irstsighto{tbe
iun]bleo{coarsefoodinhisbowlwbichtbepoor

3HOWTOLIEW<THOUTFEAR&WORRY

peopIebadofferedhinButheendureditalltbe
food,tbeblazingsun,tbedrencbingrain,andtbecold
nigbtsintbeforestandwanderedbarefootedfronI
placetoplace,fron>teacbertoteacberinsearcboftbe
truth

TbeTrutbfinallydawneduponbin]sixyearslater
wbileseatedundertbeBodbitree.Duringbissearcb,
hecan]etosbaretbewbolevastspectrun]ofhun1an
experiences.Helearnedaboutunsatis{actorinessnot
onlyfron]bislifeofabundantluxury,butalsoby
followingforawbiletbewayo{tbeasceticsw}Io
torturedtbeirbodiesundertbebelieft}Iatwisdon1and

{reedon]couldbeattainedtbrougbsuc}]practices.He
aln]ostdiedfroIsucbpracticeswbichultin>ately

provedfutile.Healsotriedtolearnfron>tbebest
teacberswhowi}>inglytaugbtbin],butwbowere
unabletogivetbeanswersbesougbt.
Realisingtbatbebadto{indtbeTrutbtbrougbbis
owneffort,hegaveupself-tortureand{ollowedthe
MiddlePatbofavoidingtbeextren]esofindulgent
luxuryandsel{-torture.V/itbperseveranceandun-

{ailingdetern]inationbegiinedBuddbahoodtbrougb
bisownperseveringeffort.
TheBuddhadiscoveredtbatSuffering,wbichis
causedbydesirecouldbeputtoanendbyfollowing
tbeNobleEigbtfoldPathTbrougbtbisPatb,suffer-

ingcouldbeendedcoIpletely.Havingunderstood
coIpletelytbenatureoflife,tbeBuddbadedicated
tberesto{bislifetoteacbwbatbe}Iaddiscoveredto
allwbowouldlistentobin>andunderstand.

WHYDOWESUFPER)

31

TheNatureofLife

TbeBuddbasawsuf{eringassu{fering,andhappiness

asbappiness.Tbisisnotw}Iatunenlig}]tenedn]inds
wouldsee.Generally,n]ostpeopledislikebavingto
facet}Ietruefactso{life.T}]eylulltben]selvesintoa
falsesenseo{securitybyday-drean]ingandin]agination,takingtbeshadowforthesubstance.Manynever
see,knoworevencareto{indoutthefactsofli{e,preferringtolivea}]un]drun]existenceint}Ieworldto
wbicbt}Ieyareborn.
Ifweexan]inet}]eactualstateofbun]anity,itis
c>earthattbisstateisn]arkedbyunsatisfactoriness
tbroug}Iout.Everylivingbeing,}In]anorotberwise,
tbrougboutthewholeuniverseisstrugglingforexistencet}Irougbaneverendingbattleforsurvival.T}1e
briefn]on]entsof}1appinesscon1etoanendwiththe
onsetofsickness,oldageanddeath
Goetbe,tbegreatGerrnanpoet,dran]atistand
philosopber,oncesaidthateeetocoMe
JeMelgMbete

o0MtOooet
O

HoweveringeniouslywenIightplanandorganise
oursocietyandadiusthun]anrelationsbipssolongas
theworldrenIainswbatitiseventhebestofuscannot

escapesuffering.Evenif,byson>estrokeofgood
fortune,wen]anagetoevadet}]eusualirritantsoflife,
wecannotfreeourselvesfron]deathOurbodily
organisn]hasinittbeseedsofdissolution.Mortality

3zHOWTOLIEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

isnativetoourworldofcornponenttbings.Tbe
thoughtofdeatbastbeendtoallexistencewouldbe
unendurabletotheignorantwboiscaugbtintbeweb
o{worldlyexistenceandengrossedintbeenioyn]ent
o{tbeHeetinglifewbicb}]en]istakenlytbinlKsis
pern]anent.

Tbedangerofrefusingtofacefactsandacceptthe
trutbsoflife,sucbasoldageanddeatb,istbatit
n]akesapersonsufferevenn]ore,notless,intbelong
run.Recollectionontheinevitabilityofdeath,
acconIpaniedwiththerightattitudeofIind,givesa
personcouragetoleadapurposefullifeandcaln]ness
duringperiodsofsorrowandatthetinIeofdeatb.
Unsatisfactorinessfollowsn1anlikebissbadow

alongtbepatbwayoflife.Duringchildbood,bebasto
sboulderthedernandsofduty.Int}Ieprin1eofrnanhood,bestrugglesceaselesslytosupporthirnself
andhisfan]ilyinanswertobisresponsibilities.T}]e
decliningyearsbringsickness,weakness,dependency,loneliness,suffering,andfinally,deatb.Such
istbefateofallhuInanity.
Itissbeerfollytoexpectsecurityoreternalbappinesswhileonesoiournsinaworldsubiecttoconstant
change.Peopleworkbardandundergon]uchsufferinginordertobavealittlebito{pleasure.Butt}Iey
wouldbavetogiveupfleetingpleasuresiftbeywisb

tosccureperIanenthappiness.I{n]anwishestoput
anendtosuffering,beInusteradicatehisownselfishnessandcultivatecontentrnent.

WHYDOWESUFFER>

33

UnderstandingtheIhctsofLife

TbosewhobavenotstudiedtheBuddba,steacbings
cannotunderstandwhatisIneantbytbestatenIent
tbatexistencecreatessu{fering.Reflectontbis:Every
creaturewhichlivesoneartheitberpreysonot}Ier
aniInalsorisitse>{beingpreyeduponA>lcreatures
eitherbuntorarebuntedbyothers.Evenherbivorous
aniInalsliveinfearbecausetheyaretbevictin]sof
otheranin1alsandbun]anbeingsNoonecanescape
fron]tbiseternalbattleforsurvivalwbichcreates

suffering,fearofdeatbanduncertaintyinli{e.The
turningpointintheBudd}Ia,slifecarnewbenbewas
stillaprince.Onedayheobservedtbata{rogwas
swallowedbyasnake.Justthenabawkswooped
downandcarriedbothtbesnakeand{rogawayThe
princereflectedupontbispbenoIenonandobserved
tbatallexistenceissorrow{ulbecauselivingbeingstry
toescapefronIeacbother.AttbesaIetinIe,they
preyonothers{orsurvival.Itisdi{ficulttounderstandwbyalltbeseinnocentbeingssbouldsu{{erif
tbeywerecreatedbyanallpower{ul,con]passionate
creatorHowcouldsucbacreatorallowbiscreatures

tobepreyeduponbyothersandtoliveinconstant
fear?

IntbeworldnIarkedwitbunsatis{actoriness,the

Buddban]akesnopretenceo{o{feringstabilityinconditionsandtbingswbicbareessentiallyunstable.
Son]epeoplewbodonotunderstandthiscallbin]a
pessin>ist.Tbeyarenotunlikeacbildwbobuildsa

3HOwTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

sandcastleneartbeseaandregardsanypredictiono{
itsdissolutionwitbtberisingtideaspessinIisn].But
theBuddbaof{ersson]et}]ingin{initelybettert}Ian[be
stabilitywbicbpeoplefoolisblyseekinunstable
worldlypbenonIena.Heofferstben]an]ethodo{
attainingultin]atestability,Nibbana,wbicbiseternallypeacefuIandsecure.
W/orld>yconditions,accordingtoBuddhisn],are
inIpern>anentandunsatisfactoryTbecurrentwaveo{
discontentn]entwhic}]n>aniscaughtupwitbisn]ainly
duetoalackofunderstandingoftbefleetingnatureof
worldlylifeManyo{usdonotknowtbisnatureat
allvenifwedo,weIabituallyfailtoapplyittoour
dailylivesInourignoranceweblan]et}Iegovernn]ent,societyoreverybodyelseexceptourselvesAs
culturedpeople,weoughttoknowt}Iatouregoisn]
andignorancearetobeblan]ed.W/}]atbindersusfronI
realisingtbeTRUTHisourselfisbness,ourpride,
hatredandignorance.Tbesedefilen]entsappearto
besorealtbatourpowertobelieveintbeTrutbis
crippled.
W/edonotliketbetruthbecauseson]etin>esitis

unpleasant,inconvenient,oritdoesnotsupportour
craving.Tbereisnootbern]orein]portantiniunction
intbeworld,noronewitbadeeperbiddenIeaning,
thantbephraseusedbySbakespeareinHanleto
eoseere.Inotberwordsbetruetoyour
ownconscience.W/hetherweaccepttbeTrutbtbat
cravingcausessorrowornotdoesnotandcannotalter
thebasicprincipleso{tbeuniverseW/ecanrecognise

WHYDOWESUFFER>

35

tbedifferencebetweenrightandwrongbuttbrougb
ourignoranceandfoolishness,werationaliseorgive
athousandreasonsforfailingtoperceivetbatdifference.Withourintelligence,wecaniustifyouractions
foranywrongfulactionscon]n]itted,butintbefinal
analysisitisbettertocallaspadeaspade.W/enIustbe
Iikeagoodsurgeonwbocanlocatethesourceofa
cancerousgrowtbandren]oveit.Tbeoperationis
painful,butoncetbediseasedpartisren>oved,our
cbanceso{en]oyinggoodbealtbarevastlyenbanced.
IeetingHappiness

Lifeisunsatisfactorybecauseitisin]pern]anent
HenriBergson,tIePrenchpbilosopher,says,
exstJtogetogestoeoezJ
togoodegoeeeySo,thosesuffering
anddespairingoneswhoseeklightandguidance
sbouldnotbasetbeirhopeso{bappinessonalife
wboseelen]entsareinafluxastheshiftingsandso{a
riverIouth

I/benapersonbasahappylife,bewouldlikethe
passageo{tin]etostandstill.Thisceaselesspassageof
tin]eissoobviousaqualityofourlivesthatwetakeit
forgranted.W/it}]intbisceaselessn]oven]ent,all
tbingsweknowareborn,grow,decayanddie,and
wewillgothrougbthisprocesswitbthen].
LscetseBlMets
,

CetZ

36HOWTOLlVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

TbelawofirnperInanencelaysitscruelhandsonall
people.Andallyoutbendsinoldage,allhealtbin
sickness,allstrengthiniIpotence,allbeautyin
ugliness,andalllifeindeathNothingcanstoptbis
process.Deathfollowsbirtb,asnightfollowsday.
TbisprocessofchangeiscoInontoalltothepoor
andthericl1alike,totbeyoungandtheold.Butthis
seeIstobetheverythingson]eofusforget,living
andactingasifwearein1n>ortal.
Ifwelookcloselyatlifewecanseehowitiscontinuallycbangingandn]ovingbetweencontacts.I/e
willnoticebowitfluctuatesbetweenriseandfall

successandfailure,gainandloss,bonourandconteIpt,praiseandblanIe.W/eseenIoreclearlyhowour
heartswouldrespondtobappinessandsorrow,
delig}ItanddespairsatisfactionanddisappointnIent
hopeandfear.
TbeseInightywavesofen]otioncarryusupbutno
soonerareweupinthecrestwben,tbeyflingus
down.Hardlybavewefoundson]erest,beforeweare
sweptupagainbythepowerofanewwave.Howcan
weexpecttogaina{ootingontbecrestoftbewaves?
I/beresballweerecttbebuildingoflifeinthen]idst
o{tbiseverrestlessoceanofexistence,ifnotonthe

islandofequanirnitywbicbwillsbelterusfron]every
storn]?Tbisisland{equaniIitydevelopsinour
n]indsafterwebaveundergonenIanydisappointn]ents,andbave{inallyen]ergedn]ucbwiser.Itisan
islandwbicbprovidesstabilityandpeaceintbefaceof
sickness,separationanddeath

WHYDOWESUFFER>

ThePictureofLife

Evenourp>easureistbebasisofunsatisfactoriness.I{
weareseekingtbeTruth,wen]ustrecognisetbisfact,
wbetherweliIKeitornot.Thisn]aybeunpleasantat
firstsight,butifwegiveitupbecauseofthatunpleasantness,wewillnotgetveryfarinthesearchfor
TruthWewillbeblindedbyIfillusion.
ItIaynotbeeasytoaccepttbisversionofthe
worldwbicbseen]sattin]essofair.Andyet,wbenwe
lookaround,weseetbatevenintbebeautyofspring,
nIanydieandn]anyn]oresufferfron]incurable
diseases.W/eexperiencedisappointn]ents,frustrationsn]iseriesandsu{feringinvariousforrns.
Gradually,aswegrowinyearsandexperience,this
visionofaworldinconstantfluxwidens,ifwearenot

wilfullyblind.LoolKingstilldeeperbeneatbthe
surfaceoflife,wecanprofitandlearnfron]tbeevents
intbeliveso{peopleweknow.W/esee}Iowevena
bappyendingrnayprovetobebutasadbeginningor
howaslightindiscretionorweaknessn]ayruina
n]answholelife

Tbere{oreuncertaintyineverytbingiscertain.This
understandingcanconsoleourunsatisfiedn]inds
WOJooJeogeze
OdetZOtOe
LeteWeJOZe

ggoe.

ey

38HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTPEAR&WORRY

ATibetanBuddhistyogiandpoet,Milarepa,gives
thissin1plebutcoIprehensivepictureo{hun]anli{e.
YOJeeoese0e
OgeJeeeg
geej-eyUoeeJ.
eBOeJBet

Aeese

NoCoeogo
sCeJJisette

WOeJig.
GzoooMeJtegt
WteeeUO
DetseUozP
MetCe
JOJP2et;
VogZeo
oJecgg
Etj,ere
WCtjeezjeee
Ajseooree
IboeO!toZe
goJeeottePeJLeotMlCeUg.
DPseseePestJCg
UPCeseePesJCDng
e

eLJSsee
Woetjeesjtsbgeto

WHYDOWESUFFER>

SsJ2POsOOO
I-Oteo
ePOsOCeseJPe.

eCOgetJeO
fteet,s
ZtJJMOet
WettteCOes,

WteZseeHo0D

gDJmfo
OselOetOtee
Scoeseetge
eseJesss
ZoteO
estUeetcig
Wbe0etOge
YeeCeOg
BesCeseCe
LeJoeg.
WeDoueog
YeeetMo
QctCoeJe
Cgooe

SessOgeetl
BUe2eClOte

AsOO

DoootteeeJ
Y0ee!ecMtepst

Se0e
tesCo

39

HOWTOLlVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

eOeJWibCceeOeO

Letl2seMcetUe

OMe0Psecbe
eenOetestCe
UtoeetMPl
Aeecoegoto
LeecoteMlste.
PeesePeZO
LegtbeJ

ttOO5eOstO5

WCoeog
Reeegeeg
WUottleDl

sbZg3QfbJ

CanW/eSatisfyDesire?

Itisbardlysurprisingthattoday,inourso-called
higblyadvancedsociety,donIinatedbygreed,batred,
suspicionandfear,anincreasingnunIberofpeople
sbouldfeelloneliness,frustration,iealousyand
enn]ity,andareunabletoseeanyn1eaninginlife.
Youthstodayden]onstratetbisinabilitytoseen]eaninginlifeinvariousways,wbicbrangefronIdelinquencytodrugaddiction
TbeenenIyofn]ankindisselfisbcraving.Tbrougb
tbisallevilscon]etolivingbeings.Peoplearealways
cravingforpleasureswealt}Iandproperty.Tbeyare
deludedwitbtbeideatbathappinessconsistsoftbe
satisfactionoftbeirdesires.Sucbabeliefisparti-

WHYDOWESUFFER>

cularlyprevalentinanIaterialisticsocietysucbas
ours.W/biletbe{ulfiln]entofourneedsanddesires,

whichcausenoharIntoothers,doesbringsoIeIorIn
ofl1appiness,oneshouldnotbeledintotbinkingthat
sensualgratificationistheonlysourceofhappiness
nordoesitconstitutethehigbestforn1oflIappiness.A
personwbosubscribestosuchthinkingwillleadalife
ofnon-fulfiln]ent,likechasingafterrainbows
Certaintbingsgiveuspleasure,sowetrytoboldon
tothen]andincreasetheirquantitySoIeotherthings
bringdispleasure,sowetrytoavoidorren>ovethen1.
Unlesswecanbaven]asteryandcontrolovertbe
forcesofdesireandaversion,tbeywilldriveusfrorn
oneunbappyexperiencetoanotber.Desireandaversionoperatetogetber:atoneIoIentitisaversionin
action,atanotbern]on]entitisdesire.

W/benbungerortbirstarises,therespringsafeeling
ofdiscon]fort.Subsequently,desirespringsupto
allaythatdiscoI{ort.Allourdesiresarelikethat.
Tbeystartfron]son]edisconIfortorafeelingthat
son]etbingislackingAndtbenwesearcb{ortbings
thatwetbinkcanfilltbatacbingvoid.Ifwedonotget
wbatwewant,t}Ie{eelingo{voidcontinuestoacbe.
If,however,wesucceedingettingit,thedesireor
bungerbecon]essatisfied,andforatin]e,ceasesto
exist.Evenso,tbepleasureofanticipationdisappears,
andwe{eelson]e}Iowcbeatedanddisappointed
becausewbatweexperienceisneverquitewbatwe
expected.Andso,newdesiresandanticipationsare
createdTbiscontinualarisingandsearcb{ortbesatis-

zHOWT0LlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

factionofdesiresistbebasistbatconstitutesn]undane,
hunIanlife.

SonIepeoplespendtbeirw}Iolelifeaccun]ulating
n]aterialtl]ings:noaInountofaccun]ulationcann>ake
tben]contented.Tbedesireforn]oreandn]oreistbeir

wholelifesdevotion.W/bent}Iey{ailtogetwbatthey
seek,tbeybecon]edisappointedButevenaftergettingtbethingstbeybavesodesperatelyworkedfor,
theyn]ayturnouttobeiustasdisappointedasbefore.
Theobiectoftbeirdrean]sappearstobelesswonderful,lessappealingordesirabletbantbeybadearlier
consideredittobeBynow,tbeirdesiresandexpectationsbavegoneupbyafewnotcbes,andtheyare
notsatisfiedwitbt}Ieirnewacquisitions.Tbeyare
constantlyeggedonbythenotiontbatthegrassis
alwaysgreenerontbeothersideo{tbefencePeople
sucbastbesecanneverbe}Iappyorcontented.Infact,
then]oretbeybavethegreatertbeirdesirebecon]es.
ItissaidthatnIansneeds,sucbasfoodshelterand

clothing,canbesatisfied,butseldon>bisdesires.
PIeasureisnotHappiness

Manypeoplebavetben]istakenideatbattheycan
solvealltbeirproblen]switbn]oneyI/hilen]oneyis
necessaryforonetoleadacoIfortablelifeinrnodern
society,itdoesnotalwayssolveonesproblen]s.Not
onIytbat,italsocreatesnewprobleInsaswell.There{ore,itisiIportantforustoputthingsaswellasour
livesinproperperspectiveW/henwerealisethetrue

WHYDOWESUFFER>

valueandnatureo{tbingsandreduceourcraving{or
sensualgratification,wewillbaven]orepeacearising
fronIsin]plicityandcontentnIent.
Tosatisfytbeircravingandbatred,peoplecreate
problen]s{orthen]selvesandotbersNationsgoto
war{ortbisreason.Theybopetode{eatotbersand
conquertbeir>ands.Battlesandwarswerefougbtand
storiesofenorn]oussufferingbavebeenrecorded
intheannalsofworldbistory.Buthun]anbeings,
entangledinworldliness,wil}notcon]etotbeirsenses
soeasily.Tbeysuf{erson]uchn]iseryandfacernany
dangers,butyetwillnotwakeuptoreality.Tbeyare
liketbecarnelwbicblovestoeatt}Iornybushes.The
n]oretbornsiteats,tben]oretbebloodwbicbgushes
fron]itsIoutbStillitcontinueseatingtbornyplants
andwillnotgivetben]upIn{acttheworldlypleasure
thatpeopleexperienceislikeeatingahotpotato.
TbeBuddhataugbtthatallourn]iseriesarisefron]
wantingthewrongsortoftbings:n]oren]oneyforself
indulgence,poweroverotberpeople,andcberishing
theideao{livingon{orevera{teroneisdead.Tbe
desire{orthesetbingsnIakespeoplebecon]ediscontentedwithli{e.Thisisespeciallytbecasewhenthey
tbinkonlyabouttbeirowninterest,anddisregard
otherswel{are.W/bentheydonotgetwbattbey
want,tbeybecoInerestlessanddiscontented.Attbe
san]etin]ewbenwegainwhatwewerelongingand
prayingforweexperienceunsatisfactorinessordisappointrnentbecauseoftbefearo{losingit
Allourn]entalsu{feringsarecausedbysel{ish

HOWTOLIVEWTHOUTFEARWORRY

desiresforpleasure.ThinkaboutthatTbeyare
causedbythedesiretobewbatwearenot,tohave
wbatwedonothave,andnottohavetbethingswe
alreadyhave.Ifwethinkbardandlongaboutit,there
isnodenyingtbattbechiefculpritinourinabilityto
enioyasenseofhappinessisdesire.
V/batisfearbuttbedesiretoavoid;greed,tbe
desiretobave;iealousy,tbedesirethatotbersshall
notbave;grief,thedesiretoregainson1etbingor
son]eone.Allournegativeernotionscanbeworked
outinterInsofdesire,tbecbainthatbindsus.Tbe

onlywaytoavoidtbisrestlessnessistoreduceorget
ridoft}]edesiretbatcausesit.Tbisn]aybedi{ficultto
do,butnotinIpossible.W/benanIanovercon1esrestlessness,bearrivesatastateofcalnInessorcontentnent

TheBuddhabassaid:eOeee
o,MtlOseetjeeotOee
PmfgoeoDg.
Hereisanothersayingfron]awriterforyouto
ponder:
sOrwseZMOsM,eMe
AMelObJJttO;
WeOeete
HeeetOeeeOOe

Suffering,wbichistbepricewepayforourexistence,isbroug}Itaboutbycraving.Asaresultof
craving,weperforn]actionswbicbleavein]printsor
seedsstoredinournIinds.Laterint}Iislifeoranotber,

WHYDOWESUFFER>

theseedsofouractionswil}ripenasreactions.In
otherwords,selfishcravingcreateskan]nIawhicb

givesrisetoreactionsOurpastactions,coupledby
otberfactors,causetbegoodandbadweexperience
today.

ConteIp>ateonYourSelf

Aspeoplegotbrougblife,son]elearntoagegrace{ully
andaccun]ulatewisdon]bornfron]experience.Tbey
realisethattocraveistobesubjectedton]oresuffer-

ing,andtbecureforsufferingliesnotinappealingto
tbegodsforhe>pbutbyfindingsalvationwitbin
thenIselves.

However,thepersonwitbaworldlynaturesuf{ers
son]uc}]sorrowandaffliction.Inbisyout}],hetries
tofillbisdayswithenioynIent.Butbeforeheknows
it,tbeyearshavepassedandhehasgrownold.Heis
distressedto{indthatwbile}]isbodybasbecon]eunfit
asaninstrun]ent{orpleasure,}]isheartisstillyouthful
initscravingT}Iesearetbepeoplewbosecraving
growswithtlIeirage:tbeoldert}Ieygrow,tbestronger
theircravingbecon]esT}]isbeingtbecase,tbeir
sufferingwillcorrespondinglybegreater
Onereasonforfailingtocontrolcravingisthepride
inn]an.Underthefalsesenseo{pride,peoplego
aboutcoIn]ittingevildeedsandrefusetorecognise
tbeobvious.Byt}Iesan]etoken,wes}Iouldavoid
n]aintainingprideinyoutbwbilestillyoung,pridein
healtbwbilestillhealtby,andprideinli{ewbilestill
}ivingagoodlife

6HOwTOLEWlHOUTPEARWORRY

Son]epeopIe,witboutconsideringtheirrealpositions,tbinktbattheyarebigherthanallothers.Tbey
areso{ulloftben]selvestbattheydevelopagrandiose
opinionofthernselvesTbiscanbedangerousbecause
PrideaIwaysgoesbe{orea{alI

00

90

==

ePeeijcog.Thereonce
wasabeetlewbichcan]euponaIun]pofcowdung.He
workedbin]sel{intoitandliMngwbatbesaw,be
invitedhisfriendstoioinbin]inbuiIdingacityinit.
A{terworking{everishly{ora{ewdaystbeybuilta
n]agnificentcity,inthedungand{eeIingveryproud
o{tbeirachieven]enttheydecidedtoelectthe{irst
beetleastbeirkingNowtobonourtbeirnewking,
tbeyorganisedagrandparadetbrougbtbeircity,.
V/bilethesein]pressiveproceedingsweretakingplace,
aneIephanthappenedtopassbyandseeingthelun]p
o{cowdungbeli{tedbis{oottoavoidsteppingonit.
TlekingbeetlesawtbeelepantandangriIysbouted
attbehugebeast.Heyyou!Don,tyouhaveany
respect{orroyalty>Don,tyouknowitisrudetoIift
yourIegovernIn>aiestic}lead?Apologiseatonceor
IllbaveyoupunishedTbeeIepbantlookeddown
andsaid,YourIostgraciousn]a>esty,IbuIbly
craveyourpardon.Tbussayinghekneltdownontbe
lun]po{cowdungandcrusbedMng,city,citizensand
prideinoneacto{obeisance.

WHYDOWESUFFER>

TbeBuddba,overcan>etbeset}Ireekindsofpride

whenbesawtbefoursig}ltsW/benhesawtheold
Ian,tbeprideinyouthle{thinI.V/ben}Iesawthe
sickIan,tbeprideinbealtbleftbin].V/benbesaw
t}]edeadn]an,tbeprideinli{eleftbin].Ifweren]ove
tbesetbreetypesofpridefron]ourn]inds,wewillnot
besboclKedanddistressedwbenweencounterthese

statesItisusefultoconteIplate:

Ietoogejzjeotosteo
ge.

etoeeIOtOJte
se5e.

etoetftjeote
et

AogttJeetoeeeJ
cgeU5no
IemfoeMteeMI
OegOOOIseCOet.
Itisa{actofn]odernsocietytbatyoutb{ulnessis
regardedasn]ostdesirable,wbilegrowingoldistobe
avoidedatallcostsThuswewillgotoanyextentto
appearyoungevenwbentbebodyisgivingintoold
ageW/eevenlieaboutourage

00

-=

Ageog.Afilnstarwasoncebrougbtup
be{orean]agistrate{ordrunkendrivingands}Iewas

8HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

askedhowoldsbewas,sbereplied,J0years.
Afewyearslater,tbesan>efiln1starappearedin
courtfortbesin1ilaroffenceandtl1istiIealsosbe

gaveherageas]0years.Nowsbewasappearing
beforethesaIeIagistratewhoren]en]beredber.
Howisthat?beden]andedfiveyearsagoyousaid
youwereJ0yearsoldandnowyousayyouarestill
]0.Nottobeoutdone,thefadingforn]eractress
flutteredberfalseeyelashesandexplained,Your
honour,Ibavebeentoldn]anytiInesnevertocbange
nIytestin]onyinacourtoflaw.ItoldyouonceIwas
J0andIwillneverchangen]yword.
P

q-P

Poralln]enandwon>enwishingtolivehappily
andn]aketbebestoftbeirliveswit}]outbavingtolie
liketbefilInstarabove)sel{-knowledgeisthen>ost
essentialfactorTbe{irststeptoknoWtbenature
o{t}]en>indistocontrolitthroughsysten]aticn]ental
developn1entorn]editation.Mentalcultureisproductiveofinsightwbichcanlightupaperson,slife.Like
atorcb,itbrigbtenstbewindingpathinlifeand
enablesbin>tosortouttbegoodfron]t}]ebadtbe
rigbt{rorntbewrongandrealisetbeclearlighto{
insigbtandbewillsoongetintotbecorrectpath
Thereforen1editationistocleanset}IenIind.

W/benwen>editate,weshouldcheckagainstballu-

cinations,especiallyaboutourspiritualattainn]ent.
Suchin]aginationscanappeareventoexperienced
n]editatorsi{tbeyarenotcare{ul

WHYDOWESUFFER>

q n=0 p0

AettosioOnceanonkbaddeveloped
bisn]editationtoa}]igbstateofn]entalabsorption
OHewasabletoproiectbisentalcreationsas
concretein]agest}]atot}]erpeoplecouldsee.Because
oftbis,hethougbttbathebadattainedtbestateof
Perfection,anAra}Ianta(Saintbood).
Hebadapupilwbopractisedn]editationtoa}]igber
degreeandbecan1eanarahantW/benbeattainedthis
state,berealisedtbatbisteacberwasunablet

developfurtberbecauseofconceit.Buttbeproblen]
wasbowton]akebisteacberrealisetbisfact.

Oneday}Iecan]etobisteacberandaskedhin]ifbe
wasanarabantaO{course,Ian],,saidtheteac}Ier,

andtoproveit.Icancreateanytbingyouwantwith
n>yn]ind
Createabigelepbant,saidtbepupil.Abig
elePbantappearedinfrontoftleNowakehi
cbargeatyou.saidtbepupil.Thernastern]adethe
elepbantcbargeatbin].>ustastbeelepbantstarted
cbarging,tbeteacbergotup{ron]bisseatandtriedto
run

W/ait.Ifyouareanarabanta,,saidtbepupil,You
sbouldbavenofear,wbythendidyougetuptorun?
Thenonlydidtbeteacberrealisetbat}Iebadnot
attainedara}Iantabood.
p
000000

Ourpbysicalbodylastslessthanacenturyattbe
rnostandundergoescbanges{ron]n]on]entto

5HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

n]on1ent.Ouren]otionsarebutastrean]offeelings
andin1ages;ourIindsbutastreaIoft}1oug}1ts.Our

c}Iaracterscbangewit}Itheyears.W/it}]int}]iscon]plex
interactionofrnindandbody,tbereisnopern]anent
substancewbicbcanberegardedasanuncbanging
sel{.

Assun]ethereisapitabout>0feetdeepandwe
putburningcbarcoalatthebottoInAftertbatwe
loweraladderintoitandaskson1epeopletogodown
onebyone.Tbosewhostarttogodowndonotcon]plainabouttbebeatuntiltheygodowntoadeptbo{
0to10feetAfter0to50feet,theyfeelacertain
anountofheat.WIenteygofurtberdownto0or
80feetandreacbnearertotheburningc}Iarcoal,they
experiencetbesensationofburning.Inthesan>e
n]anner,youngpeopledonotexperiencesuffering
althoug}ItbeBuddhasayslifeissuf{ering.Butthis
isagoodanalogytoexplaint}Mtaswegainn]ore
experienceweseetbetruthaboutsufferingn]ore
clearly
Adn1ittedly,forconvenienceinourdailylives,we
stilltalkinconventionaltern]sandusewordslike

n]yselforyoursel{.Itislikesayingtbatthesunis
rising,altbougbweallknowthatinactualityitistbe
eartbthatrevolvesonitsaxisandgoesroundtbesun.


MINTALABUSIAND
MNTALHALTH

ItoetooCoogoooMcttoegoo.Botgooete
toOJOeJeCetOoMMJCeCC
OCJO!OoJtCt

T!:ni;:
hun]anraceisn]adeupo{notonIybody,butalso

nind.quippedwitbanind,Mannustbecapableo
tbinkingsincetbisistbespecific{unctiono{then]ind.
Itisthrougbthemind,notthebody,that}]un]an
vaIuescanbeunderstood,appreciatedandfollowed.

52HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

I{apersondoesnotuse}Iisn]indtotbinkrationallyas
weIlasbunIanelybeisnotworthyofbe>ongingtotbe
bunMnrace

Youarebornintothisworldtodosornegood,not
topassyourdaysinidlenessandbecon]eaburdento
society.Alwaystbinkofrisingbigberingoodnessand
wisdon].Otherwiseyouabusetheprivilegeo{tbis
}]ighstationattainedtbrougbyourn]erits
Ofalltbeinfinitenun]bero{beingsintbeuniverse,
tbebun]anbeing}Iasclin]bedtbe}]igbestint}]eupbill
struggletowardsthesun]n]ito{perfectexistence.W/e
areneartbesun]Init,andinonelaportwo,wenIay
reacbit.Butevenifwecannotn]akeittotbelastlap
andreachtbetopintbislifewecanneverthelessstill
travelonadirect,secureroutetbatcouldbringusto
thesun]rnitwithouttheriskof{allingbacktolower
{orn]soflife.Tbelastlapisdifficultbutwitbdetern]inationwecanensuretbatwereacbastagewbere
tberewillbenon]oreturningback
Ourn]osturgenttask,tbere{ore,istoensuretbat
wedonotfallbelowourpresentplaneo{existence.
Portbispurpose,wen]usttrytounderstandtheprocesso{}ifeandrea>izetbateacboneo{usisattbebelnI

o{ourrespectivecareersW/eInuststeerourlivesclear
o{t}]elowerforn]sofexistence,bykeepingtot}]en]ap
o{DhaInIa.

LifeintheModernWbr>d

Howdoeslifeseen]ton]anypeople?Atread-Ii>l.

MENTALABUSEANDMENTALHEALTH

53

Poraquarterofacentury,theyworktoacquiretbe
n]eansoflivelilIood;foranotberquartertbeystruggIe
an1idstperpetualanxietiestoaccun]ulatesornewealtb
andproperty;andint}Ienextquarter,theyprogress
towardsdeathwithoutevenknowingexactlywby
tbeyhadlivedatall.
Manypeoplearesopreoccupiedwitbtbebusiness
ofearningalivingtbattl]eybavenotin]etolive.Tbey
trytokeepuptbeirexternalappearancesbutneglect
tbeirinternaldevelopn]ent.Blindedbytheirsenses,
tbeyn]istaket}]efalsefort}]ereal.Theyworld]ardevenfigbt,toothandclaw-forwealtb,powerand
position,tbinkingthattbeycanbesuccessfuli{they
acbievetbeserewardsoflife.Here,onewritertriesto

tellushowwespendourlives:
WeUeOe
ECseJClee,

sOeseLJg
sOeeC,
AteJgO.

Oneo{tbegreatestn]aladiesfacingtben]odern
worldistoon]ucbaction.Action,Ioreaction,and

stilln]oreactionpunctuatetbeli{eofn]an{ron]t}]e
cradletot}Iegrave.SeldonIcanbespendevenfive
nIinutesinsilencetorelax.

Todayn]ancantravelattwicetbespeedofsoundin
supersonicietsOnland,becantravelatanincredible
speedint}]eso-calledbullettrain,andskin]overtbe

5HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

oceansurfaceinahovercra{t.Inalltbesespberesof
bun]anactivities,thetrendistodoIoreinas}Iorter

periodoftin]e.Herusbesbereandtbereasn]odern
livingn>akesgreatden]andsonbin].Hesnatcbesa
hastynealanddasbesofagaintoiointbedailyrat
race.Heleapsintobed,tossesandturns{orbalftbe
nigbt.Justasbeisdroppingof{tosleep,tbealarIn
clockgoesandbeisuponceagaintobeginyetanot}Ier
dayPortoolong,n]odernn]anbasabusedhisbody
andn]indHun]annervesiustcannotwitbstandtbe
paceatwbicbbelivestoday.So,itwillonlybea
n]attero{tin1ebeforetheygiveway.Naturenever
hurries;neitbers}IouIdwe.

ModernIanissobusyin}]isworkingbourstbat}]e
son]etiInestalksandevenwalksinhissleep.T}Iis
rapidpaceinn]odernrnan,slifeisliketbeconstant
roaroftheIacbines}]einventedTbe{ritteringaway
o{hisnervousenergiesandthedissipationofrnental
resourcesweakenbotbbisrnindandbody
Heseen]stobeenn]es}]edinallkindsofideas,

viewsandideologiesbothinterestingaswellas
{oolishHeisgreatlyin{luencedbytbeInass-n]edia,
liketelevision,cineIa,newspapersandnIagazines,
wbichsbapehiswayo{thinking,desiresandlifestyle
Hun]ansexualityisexpIoitedtotbebiltintheIedia
topersuadebin]tobuy,eventhethingshedoesnot
need.Music,danceandother{orn]sofentertainn]ent

wbichwereintroducedforhisrelaxationbavetoday
becon]elikedrugs,creatingIoreexciternentandrestlessnessinbisn]indandarousingbisaninIalnature.In

MENTALABUSEANDMENTALHEALTH

55

tbeend,bebecon>escon{usedandturnsawayfron]
tbepatbo{rectitudeandunderstandingto{ollowtl]e
easierpatbo{overindulgenceandsensuality.
LifeaSaBatt>efie>d

Theworlditsel{isavastbattle{ield.Everywberetbere

isfigbting,violenceandbloodsbed.Existenceis
characterisedbyconstantstruggle:n>oleculesagainst
nIolecules,aton]sagainstaton]s,electronsagainst
electrons,Inenagainstn]en,won]enagainstwon]en,
n]enagainstanin]als,anin]alsagainstn]en,spirits
agalnstInen,Inenagalnstsplrlts,Ienagalnstnature

andnatureagainstnIen.I/itbinone,sphysicalbody,
tbereisconstant{luxandstruggle.
>ustliketbeworld,tben]inditsel{isagreatfieldin
wbicbn]anybattlesarefougbt.Everylittleincident
disturbstbebalanceoftbernindThen]indbecon]es

exceedinglybappywhenasonisbornAttbenext
n]oI]ent,itbecon]esunbappywhentbeboy{allssick,
n]eetswithanaccidentorisstruckwitbanincurable
disease.TbeIind{luctuatesbetweenthetwoextrenIes

o{bappinessandsorrowbecauseitisnottrainedto
seetbetruenatureoflife.Portbatreason,tbeordi-

naryn]anwillalwaysexperiencesuffering,fear,
uncertaintyandverylittleeIotionalsatis{actionin
tbisworldo{constant{lux.Butwhenapersonbas
trainedhisn]indwitbn]editationandseestbenature

o{tbingsastheyreallyare,bisn]indisnolonger
attachedtonortieddownbytheworld.Asaresult,

56HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

hefreeshin]selffron]sufferingandtbeiIperfections
o{tbeworld.

Lifeisaneternalbattlefoughtalongtwofronts:one
outward,tbeotberinward.Tbeouterlineisintellec-

tualisrnandrationalityI{t}Iestrengtboftbefirst
{rontisexbausted,rnanwithdrawsintotbesecond

fronto{hisinnerfeeIingsandthoughtsandseeksto
figbtfron]t}Iereanew.W/}Ientbesecondfrontislost
aswell,bewitMrawsintohin]selftonurse}]is

woundsforaw}]ile,onlytoen]ergeagainandfigbt
onanotherday.However,whenheiscon]pletely
sbatteredandwithdrawsintohin]self,livingonbis
anger,frustrationdesiresandfantasiesforalong
periodoftin]e}]issanitybecon]esaf{ected.
Anuncontrolledn]indisdon]inatedbytbeunwholeson]ethoughtso{selfishness,greedandattacbn]enttoworldly{an]egainsandpossessionsIftbese
tendenciesarenotchecked,then]indwillturninto

adevilsworkshop,c}Ianging}]un]anbeingsinto
n]onsterswboarepreparedtokillanddestroywhoeverandwbateverisintheirway
Porthesakeo{n]aterialgainandcon]{ort,n]odern
n]andoesnotlistentotbevoiceo{nature.Hewants

toon]ucboutofli{e,andbecauseo{tbatbecracks

up.Heisn]adetobelievethatsuccessn]eansbeing
abIetodoeverythingandbetbebestinalltbeseactivitiesO{course,thisisphysicallyin]possible.His
n]entalactivitiesaresopreoccupiedwithhisfuture
happinessthathenegIectstbeneedsofhisphysicaI
bodyandignoresthein]portanceo{thepresent

MENTALABUSEANDMENTALHEALTH

nIon]entforwbatitisworthThisinabilitytogetour
prioritiesrightisoneoft}]en]aincauseso{allour
frustration,anxiety,fearandinsecurity.
So,whatistheresultofallthis?Theseanxietiesand
stressn]anifesttbenIselvesasn]entalailnIentsand

disturbances,collectivelyknownasen]otionalkillers.T}]esenegativeen]otionsoffear,worry,insecurity]ealousy,andsoon,notonlycausesufferingto
thepersonconcerned,butalsototbosearoundhin].
Inn>anydevelopedcountriesitbasbeenfoundtbat
abouttwooutofeverytenpersonsaresufferingfrorn
insanityorareinneedofpsychiatrictreatn]entforone
kindofneurosisoranother.Moreandrnorebospitals
andinstitutionsfortben]entallysicksufferingfron]
variousforInsofneurosesarebeingbuilt.Tbereare
n]anyn1orewbodonotreceiveanytreatn>ent,butare
badlyinneedofhelp.TberiseintbecriIninaleleInent,
wbicbissoIetiIesequatedtornentalaffliction

witbintbesesocieties,basreacbedalarn1ingproportions.Oneoftbe{ar-reacbingresultsarisingfrorntlIe
researcbofPreudistberecognitionthateOPeo
ecopsUedseeteetb
Coeoeeeetgte

etcoeeMet.TIisattitudetotbe
problen>liesinthebasisofallprogressivesocial
re{orn]andopensuptbeway{orrebabilitationrather
thanrevengeandretribution

TberearecertaincoInnIonn]et}IodologiesortecbniquesinnIentaltherapytotreatpeoplewboare
IentallyunbalancedInitially,theainIistobringto

58HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

thesurfacetben]entalstatesthathavelongbeen
buried.Tbepsycbiatristencouragesbispatientsto
talkandrevealtbosecarefullycan]ou{lagedthoughts
tbatbavelongbeenhiddenevenfron]tbepatienthiIself.Thepsychiatristdeliberatelyre{rainsfron>telling
thepatientwhattodo,buttriestobringbirntotbat
stateo{Inentalawarenesswberehecanseeforbin]sel{

bisownn]istakenattitudesofnIind.Tbus,intbisway

askiIledpsychiatristatten]ptstorevealtbesecretfor
everypatientthecreatorofhisillness,whicbinevery
instanceisnoneot}]ertbanthepatienthin]self.This
unInaskinggivestbepatientaninsigbtintotbebidden
natureo{hisproblen]aswellashowitcouldbeovercon]e

ThisapproachissirnilartotbeBuddha,sDo/t
YoJenetbodwbichaisatakingusrealisetbe
truenatureo{life,o{ourselvesando{ourproblen]s.
By{ollowingtbisgradualn]ethod,wewillcon]eto
recognisetbatthegreatprobleInsinthisworldare
causedbyourowncravingandignorance.Attbe
san]etin]e,wewillalsopractisethewayo{reducing
ourn>entalde{ilen]entsanderadicatingtherooto{our
probleIns,tberebyenablingustoexperiencespiritual
growtbanden]ergecon]pletelyIiberatedfrornworldly
conditioningandsuf{ering
TowardsMentalHea>tb

Tbedestructiven]ental{orcesandeIotionsrnustbe

cbeckedandreducedtoarnanageablelevel.Inthis

MENTALABUSEANDMENTALHEALTH

59

context,relaxationisanecessity,notaluxury.I/e
sbouldreduceorcurtailal}unnecessaryactivities,rise
earlytohavenIoretin]etodressandtalktotbe{an]ily,
andIakeababitofspendingsoIetin1ealonetobe

engagedinson]eusefulactivitieslikereading,conten]plationandforpbysicalandn>entalreIaxation.
Allo{n]ansillsdependonbowwellbeatten]ptsto
crossli{e,scurrentsNon]ancancrosstheoceanina

sailingboatbyde{yingtbewinds;instead,hen]ust
adiustbissailstothewinds.Tbecurrentso{lifeare
alwaysstrean]inginonedirectioILTbeywillnever
changetbecourseoftbeirflow,iustasthesundoes
notchangeitsdirection.Mann]ustadaptbin]sel{to
tbisflowo{li{eto{indcon]pletebarrnonywitbinbin]seIandwitbbisenvironnent

Obeytbeeternallawo{tbeuniverse(Dban]n]a),
taugbtbytheBuddMHewbokeepstbislawlives
bappilyinthisworldandintbenext.Itistbedutyo{
everybun]anbeingtousebisrnindintbecorrectway.
T}]ehuInann]indsbou}dbecbannelledtowardscreat-

inga]ust,equitableandpeace{u}world.I{tben]indis
allowedtoroan]atrandon],itwillbecon]eundisci-

pIined,distortedanddepraved.Mosto{tbesu{{ering
intbeworldiscausedbyunruIy,distortedordepravedn]inds.Tben]anwboisnotatpeacewith
bin]sel{cannotbeatpeacewitbotbers.
Hatredisanunbealtbyattitudewbichincreases
n]oredarknessandwhicbobstructsrigbtunderstanding.Hatredrestricts;lovereleases.Hatred
strangles;Ioveen{rancbises.HatredbringsrenIorse;

6HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

Iovebringspeace.Hatredagitates;lovequietens,stills,
caln]s.Hatreddivides;loveunites.Hatredbardens;

lovesoftens.Hatredbinders;lovehelps.Byrealising
thevalueoflove,onen]usteradicatebatred.

Mankindpraysforpeace,buttberecanbenopeace
int}]eworlduntiltbeconflictswithinnIanbin]selfare

resolved.PortbistobeacconIplished,tbereisan
urgentneedtotrainthen]indOnen]ayask,How

canwedoit?W/biletbisisalogicalquestion,n]ore
inIportantistbequestion,Dowewanttodoit?If
t}1eanswerisaclearYes,accornpaniedbycon1n]itn]ent,onecancertainlydeveloptbeskilltotrainones
n]ind

TbeBasicLawofTbeMind:-

AsOeesOOe
A5OesOO
ADosooW
AsOWOOA

PARTII
HOWTOOVERCOM
W/ORRYNOW

5
CONTROLINGANGER

AgoPeocose5OeJ.

wbowas{aithfulanddiligent.Oneday,outofcuriosity,then]aiddecidedtotesthern]istressto{indout
ifsbewasbonestlygoodbynatureorifitwasn>erely
apretenceputonfortbesakeofappearanceinher
fortunatehigbsocietysurroundings.
Tbefollowingn]orning,tben]aidgotupfron]ber
bedquitelateataroundn]id-dayandtben]istress
cbidedberforbeinglate.Tbe{ollowingdaytoo,tbe
IaidrepeatedberlaterisingTben]istress,inrage

6HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

abusedt}]en]aidandstruckberwithastickthus

burting}Ier.Newsoftbisincidentspreadaroundtbe
neigbbourboodandtbericbwidowlostnotonly
herreputationbutalsoafaitbfulservant.
Sin]ilarlyintbisn]odernsociety,peoplearekind
andn]odestw}Ientbeirsurroundingconditionsare
goodandsatisfactory.V/henconditionscbangeand
becon]eunfavourable,tbeybecon]eirritableand

angryRenenbertbesayingWeoteegoo,
eoegoo.WeoeMe
toecoeeDAngerisanuglyanddestructive
eIotion.Allbun]anbeingsaresubiecttoanger
inoneforrnoranotberintheirdailylives.ItisanegativeeIotionwbicbisdorn]antwitlIinus,awaitingto

{lareupandtakecontroloverourliveswbentbe
occasionarises.

Angercanbelikenedtoaflashofligbtwhicbblinds
usten]porarilyandcausesustoactunreasonably.
UncontrolledangercancauseusagreatdealofbarnI
bothpbysicallyandernotionally.LikeanyotlIer
bun]anen]otion,angercanbebroug}Itundercontrol.
TheDangerofAnger
Certaincreaturesbynatureareunabletoseeduring
daytin]e,wbilesonIeotbersareblindatnight.A
bun]anbeingdriventogreatheigbtsofhatredand
bitternessisblindtoanytbingintbetruesense,either
bydayorbynigbt.Thereisasaying,AgU
eObCOseee
]

CONTROLLlNGANGER

65

Itissaid,thatanangrynIantransfersthee{fectsof
bisangertobin]selfw}]enberegainsbisreasoning.
>ustasthen]oncystoredinthcbankwillreapadividend,sowilltbeangerstoredinthen1indreaptbe
returnsofbitterness.

W/bon]orwbatdowefightwithwbenweare
angry?W/efigbtwitbourselves,andbecoIe,asit
were,ourworstenen]y.W/en]usttrytoeradicate
totally,thisdangerousenen1ylatentinourn]indswitb
aproperunderstandingofthesituation
Angergrowsstrongerwbenfueledbyen1otion,
especiallywbencravingisbebindthaternotion.Attbe
Inon]entofintenseangerapersonceasestobe
bunIan:hebeconIesadangerousanin]alcapableof
destroyingnotonlyothers,butalsohirnself.Anger
cancosthin]bisreputation,iob,friends,lovedones,
peaceofn]ind,bealtbandevenhisveryownself.
TbeBuddbaspokeabouttbewretchednessofanger
andsaidthatwhenapersonisangry,seventhings
befallhin]tbatwouldbelpthecauseofbisenen1ies
andIakethen]re)oicc.Wbataretbeseven?
HeegMeteege-gooM
e-eJse.

HeePeseoJ
Cobteco.
Heogsgeeto
sbgJtggoogoo
egeotJtegtoeo

66HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

HeO5e5-eeetleZe
rOtOetebJ

eOJeCPOMetMCtje
eeCegeCe.
HJeJeUeJtjo
sO
MeeeeeODOe
eeXJteeceesoOscotOe
gePeJzMoesoeoog
oeecCigtjoe
ets.

AzgtJV
,

Tbeseaboven]isfortunesaretbosewhicbones

eneIywouldliketowishforone.Buttbesearetbe
veryrnisfortunestbatbefallapersonwboisovercon]ebyanger.
Contro>lingAnger

AgoodwaytocontrolangeristoactasiftbeundesirablethougbtsdonotexistinournIindByusing
ourwill-power,wefocusournIindsonson]etbing
wholeson]eandtbussubduenegativeernotions.Itis
noteasytoreactpeacefullytoson1eonewboinsults
us.Alt}]ougbthephysicalbodyisnotbarn]ed,theego
feelsbun]iliated,tberebyInakingapersonfeellike
bittingbackItisnotsoeasytoreciprocateinsults
witbcourtesyandrespect.Buttbetestofcbaracteris
bowwedealwitbtryingsituationstbatconfrontusin

CONTR0LLlNGANGH{

6>

ourdailylives.ItseeIns,even{roInourcbildbood,we
liketotakerevenge{orourownsatisfaction

eeeeeteecbtMee
Oee.0OJCtOgJ

teOtCeJe.

eBC

Darknesscannotbedispelledbydarknessbutbv
brightness.IntbesanIewaybatredcannotbeovercoIebybatredbutbylovingkindness.
Son]epersonsarelikeletterscarvedonarock;tbey
easilygivewaytoangerandretaintbeirangry
thougbtsforalongtiIeSon>en]enarelikeletters
writteninsand;theygivewaytoangeralsobuttbe
angrythoug}]tsquicklypassaway.Son]eInenarelike
Ietterswritteninthewater;tbeydonotretaintbeir
passingtboughts,buttheperfectonesarelike}etters
writtenintbewind;tbeyletabuseanduncon]{ortable
gossippassbyunnoticed.Tbeirn]indsareaIwayspure
andundisturbed.

Evenifwefeelangryatiniusticedonetootberswe
sbouldcontainourangerbecauscwearenotina
positiontoarriveatacorrectcourseo{actionina

disturbedstateo{n]ind.Wbenweareangry,weI]ust
beawareo{ourownanger.Observetbeangerasa
n1entalstate,witboutdirectingittotheobiecttbat
causestbeanger.V/en]usttrainourselvestoobserve
andanalyseouren]otionswhenweareangry.Byconstant}ypractisingsel{-analysiso{ourn]oods,wewilI

68HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

gaingreaterconfidenceinbeingabletocontrolourselvesandwillnotactfoolisblyorirrationally.The
Buddbasadviceis:

GooeJtieegooSeteeCj
goosetJgooettzeDeUgeoePzseSeStto!MJ
eeOsoo

Notallpeopleadopttbesan]estrategytocontrol
t}Ieiranger.Oneeffectivewayistoen]ploytbetirnedelay,n]ethod.TboIasJeffersonsurnn]eduptbis
approacbwbenbesaid,WegUcotoe
CbeetjgCottolM.
Arecipetodevelopbettercontrolofourten]peris
torepeattbeseideasn]entallyseveraltin]esadayto
ourselves.

7cotoge
IetU
IeePCooee
Ieouegesoc
ICogeooe.

Byrepeatingtbeselines,wecanstrengtbenour
n]indstogainconfidenceandn]entalcaln]nessW/ben
facedwitbthetbougbtlessactionsofpeople,wecan
alsokeepinn]indwbattbeBuddhataugbt:
Zfbo!Moeseujogto
tePOteOwteoDejtleoeezj

CONTROLLINGANGER

69

coeoloegooJgooeJ
gCegooZCoeoee
go0M,o.
Awickedrnanwboreproachesavirtuousoneis
likeapersonwbolooksupandspitsatheaven;the

spittlesoilsnottbebeaven,butconIesbaclKanddefiles
hisownperson.TbeslandererislikeonewboHings
dustatanotherwbentbewindiscontrary;tbedust
returnsonbin]wbotbrewit.TbevirtuousInancan-

notbeburt;then]iserycon]esbackontheslanderer.,
<

0D

0D

SePeSeeOeS.Awildboar
oncedecidedtobecornetbekingoftbeiungle.Sobe
gotupfron]thedungbeapwhere}]ewasrestingand
wenttotbelion,tbelKingofbeastsandcballengedhin]
toafight.Ofcoursetbelioniustturnedbisnoseattbe
sn1ellycreature,ignoringhirnandwalkedaway
witboutevenbotberingtoreply.Tbisstoryillustrates
tbatwbenwisebeingsarecballengedbythosewho
bavealowIentalitytbenobleonessbouldnotwaste
tbeirtin>eontben].
0pFp

TbeBudd}IabasalsogivensoIneadviceforcontrollinganger.Tbisadviceiffollowed,growsineffectivenesstben]oreitispractised:
ecoegeuceteBo

>HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

oeottMgegeePoes
detMogteseloesoe
togtJ.
egJoegooreSte
tePeo.WeoegM,CteZsees5ttg
eSgoogePe
egesegtje
toozfgieSs
eeegoe5Of.A
egeteoeetleece
teeet
goooo.ejtgt
oieesetoegUote.
IteWeggoeueoPCoPio
oePesootjetOCetle
etsofO
crtgOgOUgeo
egsGetegCoetotoseoeueoP
tJtogePCeoo
CO2POtO.
BotgoeoeUeu
ogtoJePe5oosogeo
toegeooo
oesooegEtltoteotePeso.
ecDeCteOOUe,eDe
etjgogt.

6
THEDANGEROF
SELHSHNESS

SesessoesPesotgoA

Arv

respectotbers;}1earguesandquarrelsoversn1all
n]attersandbislifebecoIesbutanendlessiourneyin
unhappiness.Hesuspectsothersofbeingbisrivals,
andisenviousoftheirsuccessandachievernents.He

covetstbeirpossessions;becannottoleratetbeir
bappiness.Intheend,bepoisonsbisthoughtsand
becon>esdangeroustosoc1ety.
Regardlessofwbetberbeisricborpoor,aselfis}>
n]aniscontrolledbygreedHeisnevercontented,

2HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

neversatisfiedwit}lwbathebas.ItwasMabatrna

Gandbiwbooncesaideoeog
eUoeJeeM,eueegloe
geeIfbeisrich,beworriesabouthisbouse,
propertyandallhisotberpossessions.Healways
thinksof}]owton]alKen]oren]oneyandisnotpreparedtopartwithalittleo{wbatbebas,evenfora
worthycause.Heisalwaysfilledwitbworriesof
beingrobbed,kidnapped,orcheated.Heworries
aboutbisbusinessanddoubtsthetrustwortbinessof
bisworkers.Heworriesaboutbisdeatbandhowhis

wealtbwillbeused.Ifbeispoor,ontbeother
hand,besu{fersfrornnothavingenoughHeis

alwayslonging{orwealt}Iandproperty.V/henbeis
unabletoobtainthewealthandpropertytbrougb
honestn]eansandbardwork,beresortstocrinIinal
n]eanston]eetbisdesires.

Selfishnessisbrougbtaboutbywrongviewsand
tbefailuretoperceivetherealitiesoflife.Rootedin
craving,andthebeliefinanon-existentself,selfisbnessisaverydestructiveen1otionalforce.Ifpreventiveandcorrectiven]easuresarenottakentoreduce

tbisnegativeen]otion,itcancauseuntoldsuffering
andn]isery.Hown1anyofuseverpondereddeeply
overthestaten1entIadebyW/illian1Gladstone:
MMeJsegetCeCe
,

Thoughtsareforces,andselfishnessisapowerful
negativeforcetbatbringsbadconsequences.Tbisisin

THEDANGEROFSELFlSHNESS

accordancewithtbeuniversaln]orallawtbatwereap
theresultso{ouractionswbichtakerootinour

tboughtsPainandsufferingaretheresultsofevil
tbougbts,whilehappinessistheresultofgood
thougbts.
W/earedon]inatedbyourtbougbtsAchronic
batredorevenacberishedgrudgetearstheonewbo
harboursittosbredsAstrongfeelingofresentn]entis
iustaslikelyasagern]tocausepoorbealtbandsicknesses.Ifoneissoun{ortunateastobaveanenen>y,
allowingtheresentn]enttodiginandtbebatredto
becon>ecbronicistbeworstthingonecandoto
oneself

TheNeedtoCultivateLoveandCoInpassion

Alllivingbeingsarecon]radesinsuffering,wboare
subiectedtoacon]Ionpredican]ent.Intbeaverage
hurnann]ind,t}Iereisarubbishheapofevil;but
fortunately,thereisalsoastorebouseofvirtuewaiting
tobetapped.Tbecboiceo{developingvirtueorcon]Inittingevilisreallyuptoonesel{Thepracticeo{
syn]patheticfeelingsfortbesufferingo{otberssbould
becultivated.Ahappy,contentedli{eisonlyattained
byoverconIingselfisbnessanddevelopinggoodwill,
understandingandbenevolenceV/esbouldnotcondeInotbersbypickingontbeirweaknessesor
Inistakesanddisregardingtheirgoodworkandgood
nature

IntbeDbannIapada,tbeBuddhasays:Htes
eUeeJeltetOtiMeJe

HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTPEARWORRY

oDe.MJeThisnaturallawwas
alsotaugbtbyJesuswhosaidthatPeosoo
goototoseote
Todogoodistobringtoonesel{alltbepowerful
goodelen]entsinnatureTodoevilistowelcon]e
destructiveeleIents.Thosew}]oliveinbatewilldie

inbate,iustastbosewbolivebytbeswordwilldieby
tbeswordEveryeviltbougbtisasifitwereasword
directedatbin]wbodrawsit.Onceapersonrealises
tbisfact,beshouldbeafraidofharbouringeviland
sel{ishtboughts.
Itisaspiritualtrutbtbatevilcanonlybeovercon]e
byitsopposite,positiveforceo{goodLoveandcon]passionaretheantidotesforbatred.Goodwillisthe
antidoteforanger.Tbepresenceofonepositiveforce
iIpliestbeabsenceofitsopposingnegativeforce.By
developinglove,con]passionandgoodwill,wecan
n]aketbesetbougbtsourInostpreciousassets.
NotbingoutsideuscanpossiblyaffectusasIucb
aswbatistakingplaceinourrninds.Itisanestablisbed{actthat,Asan]antbinketbinbisbeart,sohe
iS.,

Secoe,tMeegeteteCo
esmfoeegooo
BCtetjJO
CPesOOeMetjeM
esrZr.

DCCJ

OVERCOMINGJEALOUSY
ANDSELHSHNEsS

sestee qfeee
tees.

O:

tbebead:YouarealwaystakingtheIead;itisnot{air.
Yououghtto}etn]eleadson]etin]es.,T}]ebead

answered:Tbatcannotbebecauseitistbelawofour

naturetbatIshouldbethebeadIcannotchange
placeswitbyou.,
Tbequarrelwentonforseveraldaysuntiloneday,
outofanger,tbetailfasteneditselftoatree.Thebead
cou}dnotproceedanddecidedtolettbetailhaveits

>6HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

ownway.Unfortunately,thetailwasunabletosee
wbereitwasgoing,andtbesnakefellintoapitoffire
andperisbed.
TberearesoIewboareneversatisfiedwitbtheir

possessionsandareiealousofthosewhobaven1ore
tbantbey.Tbciealousthougbtstbeybarbourintheir
n]indspreventt}IeIfronIenioyingwlnttbeybave.
Eveni{tbeybavedoneverywellineveryoneseyes
tbeyarenotsatisfiedaIlaretorn]entedbytbefact
tbatsoIneoneelsebasperforInedbetterthant}1en1It
wouldbebeneficialfortben]toturntheirthougbts
inwardsandcounttheirblessingsratherthancultivatingiealousthoughts.
TheCauseofJealousy

Tbebasiccauseofiealousyisselfis}Iness.WhenanIan
becon]eseccentricandself-centered,belivesonlyfor
bin]selfandregardsallotherbeingsasbispotential
rivals.Heisenviousoftbeirsuccess.Hecovetstheir

possessions.Hecannottoleratetheirbappiness.Heis
iealousoftheiracbieven1ents.Intbefinalanalysis,
bebecon]esconIpletelyunsociableanddangerous,
w}]icbcreateproblen]s.Problen>scancon]efron]
n]anysources.
:.

eoCoeOKibAdogtooka
triptoseetbecountry.A{ewdayslaterhereturned,
andbisfriendsaskedbin]w}]etberhefacedproblen]s
onthetrip.Hesaidtbathen]etwitbn]anypeopleand

OVERCOMlNG>EALOUSYANDSELFlSHNESS>>

anin]alsalongtbeway.TbeydidnotcreateanydisturbancesbutallowedbinItogobisownway
Tbeonlyproblen1sIfacedwerefron>ourown
kind,hesaidTheywouldnotleaven]ealone.Tbey
barkedatIeandchasedandtriedtobiten]e.

pP q

`P q<

Inthesan]eway,wbenapersonbecoIessuccessful,tbosewbodonotlKnowbin]willleavebin]alone

Unfortunatelyhehastoputupwitbsorneofhis
friendsandrelativeswbonIay{eelenviousofbis
successTbeycarrytales,andevencreateobstaclesfor
bin].Insucbasituation,besbouldtrytoexercise
patience.Itn]aybeusefulforbin]toreIen]berthatit
iseasier{orsoInepeopletoassociatewitbstrangers
ratbertbantheirownpeople.
Selfishnessisbrougbtaboutbywrongviewsand
failuretoperceivetberea>itieso{li{eSelfisbnessisa
verydestructiveen]otionbasedoncravingandcauses
untoldsuf{eringandn]iseryCorrectiveandpreventiven]easuressbouldbetakentocontro>sucbnegative
enotlons

Tbougbtsareforcesinwbicbgoodbuildsuponand
attractsgood.Tbefruitst}IatwereapareinaccordancewitbthethougbtswebavesownOurpainand
bappinessaredirectresultsofourownevilorgood
tboughtsontbebasisoftbelawofattractionwbicb
operatesuniversallyoneveryplano{actionI{oneis
soun{ortunateastobaveanenen]y,theworstt}Iing
onecandotoonesel{,andnottotheenen>y,istolet

>8HOWTOLIVEWlTH0UTFEAR&WORRY

tberesentn]entdiginandallowtbebatredtobecon1e
chronic.

WeareallcoIradesinsufferingandsubiectedtoa
coIn>onlaw.Thechoicetodevelopvirtueorcornrnit
evIieswitbus.Tberefore,ifwecannotbeartoseeor
beartbesuccessfulacbieven]entsofotbers,wewould
needtore-evaluateouroutlook
AwarenessoftlIeMind

Byreviewingandexarniningonesnegativethoughts,
apersonwillrealisetbatnooneoutsidebin]selfbas
thepowerorIneanstoupsetbisinnerpeaceand
balanceofn>indV/benbecoIpareshin]selfwitb
otbers,hecreatesbisownsufferingbythinkingthat
hebaslessorthatotbersaren]oresuccessfultban

bin].Tbereisnobene{ittobegainedbybarbouring
iealousy,wbicbisoftentbecauseofsoIucbdisunity
intheworld

V/eshouldrealisetbatnegativeen]otionssucbas
iealousy,angerandill-willstiflet}]eIindsgrowth
W/en]ustworkto{reeourselvesfrornsucbevilin-

{luencesatallcostsJealousywillnotbringuswhat
wedesire,butinsteadwillleadusdowntheblindalley
o{enrnity,unrest,andunduepbysicalandn]ental
su{fering.
W/ernustbeevervigilantofunwboleson]e
tbougbts.W/beneveranegativetboug}Itarisesinthe
n]ind,weIusttrytoreplaceorsubstitutetbenegative
tboughtwithapositiveoneTbisrequiresustobe
awareofwbatgoesinandcon]esoutoftbernind.

OVERCOMING>EALOUSYANDSIFISHNESS>9

Tbrougbtbisgradualprocesso{self-awareness,we
willbeabletocbeckandweedoutthenegative
tbougbtsbeforetbeycanenslaveus

DealingwithJealousy

W/benwecon]etoknowtbedangerofharbouring
iealousy,wecanthendevotcourtirneandenergyto

theprofitablecultivationofwbolesoIethoug}]tsof
kindnessandsyn]pat}Iy.W/esbouldtbinktbatthereis
nothing{orustolosewhenothersn1akeprogress.W/e
sbouldcultivaten]odesty,eradicateself-centered
craving,anddevelopsyn]patbeticioyattbebappiness
ofotbers.Apersonwboisin]buedwithsuchgood
t}1ougbtsisablessingtohin1selfandtheworldat
Iarge.Tbepracticeo{syn]patbeticfeelingfortbe
su{feringsofotbersshouldbeencouragedwhileattbe
saIetin]eeradicatingtbougbtsofselfisbnessA
bappyandcontentedli{eisonlyattainedwbenone
overcoIesselfishnessanddevelopsgoodwill,understandingandbenevolence.
TbeBuddhaencouragedbisdisciplestodevelop
syIpatbeticorappreciativeioywbenotbersare
bappy,wbichisane{{ectiveantidotetoiealousy.
Tbeyadoptacongratulatoryattitudebyreioicing
whenothersprosperandsucceed.Thisn]aynotbe
bardtodowhenourlovedonesprosperandsucceed,
butisratberdi{ficultwitbregardtoouradversaries.
>usttbink:Dowenotwanttoprosperandsucceed?
Dowenotwisbtobeblessedwit}Ihappiness?>ustas

8HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

wbatwewouldwantforourselves,wouldntthe

otberstoowanttobeblessedwitbprosperity,success
andbappiness?MaintainingsucbanIentalattitude
canfreeapersonfron]n]uchsufferingaswellasfron]
fallingtoruin,especiallywbenill-willandn]alicious
actionsdevelopfron]iealousthoughts.Italsopreventsone{ron>hinderingothersinn1akinggood
progress.

Ontbeotherbandwen]ustbavepatiencewith
otherswboareiealousofoursuccess.Theirreaction
canson]etin]esarisebecausewehavenotactedwith

hun]ility.W/en]ustbeconsideratebynotflaunting
ouracbieven]entsbeforeotherswboarelesssuccess-

ful.Duringn]on]entsofsuccess,wen]ustrecallour
pastfailuressotl1atwenIayunderstandbettertbe
{eelingsofotberswhobaveperforn1edlesswell.

Whenothersactagainstusbecauseofiealousy,
guardourselvesagainstresentnIent.W/esbould
ren1indourselvestbatwe,likeotbers,areownersof

ourrespectivedeeds(kanI1a).Wesbouldtbinktbus:
Nowwhatisthepointofn]ygettingangrywitbbin]?
AngerwillnotsolveprobleInst}Ieywillonlyaggravatetbesituation.T}IisangerwillonlycreatekanIrna
wbic}IwillleadtoInyownsufferinganddownfall.By
replyingto}Iin]wit}]resentInentIwillonlyhurt
n]yselflilKeapersonwhopicksburningenIbersinbis
handtohitanotherwithit.,Tbereisastorywbich
clearlyillustratesbowaDban]n]an]astersubdueda
iealousrivalwitboutresortingtoanger.

OV<RCOMlNG}EALOUSYANDSELPlSHNESS8>
=P

<

C0eeoc0Oncetberewasa
DbaInInan]asterwbosetalkswerewidelyattendedby
peopleo{allranks.Heneverusedscholasticexplanationsbutspokestraight{ron]bishearttohislisteners.
Oneevening,ateacberfron]anotherreligioussect
attendedbistalkHewasangrybecausetbisDbanIn]a
n]asterwasabletodrawlargeaudiences,including
son1eofbisown{ollowers.Tbeself-centeredteacber
wasdetern1inedtohaveadebatewitbtben]aster.

HeyDban]n]aMaster!becalledoutW/aita
n]inuteOtbersIaylistentoyouandobeywbatyou
say,butan]anliken]ysel{doesnotrespectyouCan
youn]aken]eobeyyou?,
Con]eherebesiden]eandIwi}Isbowyou,,said
tbeDhan]Ian]aster.

Tbeteacberpusbedbin]sel{tbrougbtbecrowdand
proudlystoodbesidetben]aster.
TbeD}]an]n]an>astersnIiledCon]eoverton]yleft
sideTbeteacherobeyed
No,Itbinkitsbetteri{youareonn]yrigbtside,,
saidtbeDban]n]an]aster.W/ecantalkbettertbat

wayTbeteacberproudlysteppedovertotberight
Yousee,saidtbeDban>n>an]aster,youareobeyingn]e.Itbinkyouareaverygentleperson.Nowsit
downandlisten.,

p=b
P

==

8
DEAINGW/ITHENEMIS
ANDCRITICISM

LOseoeJjooroeb
egreeeJ.
]

V;:!

Iesslyservedn]ankind,IiketheBuddba,Krisbna,
>esusandMobaI]ed,greatpbiIosopherslikeSocrates,

socialre{orn]ersIikeAbraban]Lincolnandtbefather

o{non-violence,Mahatn]aGandbi,allhadtbeirsbare

o{opponentsandenen]ies.Tbesegreatn]astersand
Ieaderspatient}yunderwenttheabusesandcriticisn]s
o{tbeirenen]ies,withoutdeviating{ron]theirnoble

DEALlNGWlTHENEMlESANDCRlTlClSM83

principlesSon]eevenhadtofaceuntin]elydeath{or
tbesakeoftbeirprincipleswhichtbeyvaluedabove
everythingelse.

Eversoo{ten,peoplewboworkfortbewelfareo{
otbersa>socon]eintocontactwitbpeoplewitbbad
intentions.Thereseen>stobeacontinuousconflict

thatarisesnaturallybetweengoodandevil.W/bena
personn]akesanefforttodoson>egood,tbereare
sonIepeoplewboliketo{indfaultwitbhin>ratber
tbanshowerhinIwitbpraises.Heisblan]edforwhat
hedoesordoesn,tdoInaddressingAtbula,adisciple
oftheBuddba,whocornplainedaboutbisdissatisfactionwithtbepreacbingofot}Ierdisciples,ando{
tbewayt}Ieytriedtoanswerhisquestionstbe
Buddbasaid:PeopleblaIneothersfortheirsilence
Tbeyalsoblan]etbosewhonlkIuc}Iorinn]oderation.T}Iereis,there{ore,nooneinthisworldwhois
notblan]ed.

Apersonn]ustbepreparedtoacceptblanIewith
son]edegreeo{resignationi{necessary,eveniftbe
allegationsarewitboutbasis.AbraharnLincolnhada
verysoberandpracticalwaytohandlecriticisn]He
saidIeetoee
tettCseOesJtee
CO5eOteiessOteUerestO
OteUeet;IetOecPO
ogoteMfegSeo
ttbetgteOteMfte
egJeoogtletegesSegJ
stujeoee.

8HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

MirroroftheMind

Apersonstboughtsandbeliefssbapebislife,experiencesandcircun]stancesLiken]irrors,allrnen

becon]eliketbeirownre{lectedn]entalin]ages.T}Iey
beboldtbereflectiono{tbeirowncbaracterandinner

tboughtsUntilapersonrealizestbathisowncharacter
isbuttheef{ecto{bisownt}Ioug}Itsandbeliefs,be
ren]ainsavictin]ofcircun]stances.Butonceberealises

tbisgreattrutbbebasstartedont}leiourneywhicb
willenable}Iin]tobefree{ron]tbepoisonofillwill.
Theuglinessapersonseesinotbersisadirect
reflectionofbisownnature.Tberefore,aperson
shouldnotactbastilyandproiecttbeirnageofunwboleson]enessand}]atredwitbinhin]sel{onanotber

innocentandunfortunatebeing.Letushavepa[ience
andnotcriticiseotberstooreadily.V/esbouldview
thingsfron]abroaderperspectivebyputtingourselves
intheotherperson,ssboesTrytounderstandtbe
circun]stancesw}Iicbgaverisetoanaction.Adopting
sucbaperspectivecanenableustoleadanoblelifeof
non-inter{erenceinthea{{airsandthepeaceofotbers.
LetuskeepinindtbeBuddhasadvice:Heo
OseOstJe
deJeJoeeeJO
estoeeBoltanHallhaswritten
tbefollowinglines:
IOoetOtedOJCoe
CtZsZ

AIJOCOseOteis

DEALlNGWlTHENEMlESANDCRITICISM85

ooeMtogeteeJCeJCo
AJsHOsOte
eIOoeteot
AHOeeZOte

PicMngIhultsinOtbers
Itissoeasytoseethefaultsofotbers:itisdif{icult
toseeonesownfaults.TheBuddbasaysthatone
winnowsotbersfaultslikecbaff,buthidesonesown

likeacraftyfowlerwbocoversbirnsel{.Ones}Iould
notregardtbefaultsofot}Iers,thingsdoneorleft
undonebyotbers(iusttopassren]arks,)butone
sbouldconstantlyconsideronesowndeedsofcornn]issionandon]ission.

Keepingthesegen]sofadviceinInindcanbelpus
understandbetterourownnatureandputabrakeon
negativen]entaltendencies.Bepositive.Ifone}Iasa
fault-findingfran]eofInind,onewillseet}]atevena
rosehasitst}IornsButwbydwellontbeflawsw}Ien
onecanenioyitsbeauty?Everyworldlingbasfaults.
Anditisuse{ultoren]en]bertbatnopersonistotally
bad,orevileither.

Tbenexttin]ebeforewestartfindingfaultswitb
others,ren]eIbertheselinesbyRobertLouisStevenson:

eeiOgOOo
AsOteesmf
tOMeODeOe,
Mtest

s6HOWTOLEWlTHOUTEARWORRY

W/hattodowhenCriticised

I/bensoIneoneisangrywithyou,tryto{indouttbe
causeoftbeproblen]Itcouldbeduetoson]ething
whicbyouhavedone.I{youbaven]adean]istake,
adn]ititandapoIogiseforyourwrongactionIfitis
duetoan]isunderstanding,haveahearttohearttalk
witbtbatpersonandbewil}ingtoresolvetbedi{ferences.Ontheotherhand,iftbeangerbasarisen
becauseofiealousyore[notionalprobleIsontbepart
o{tbeotberparty,youshouldnotreplyangerwitb
anger,thoughthisisanaturaltendencyI/arsdonot
endwarsTbeyonIygiveriseton]orevengeance.At
besttheyresultinanuniustsettlenIent.TheBuddba
says,euoeeteCbteDes
Jer.O0eoeoCesotuoU
cMMeC.
OverconIeangerwithlovingkindnessThisisby
noIeanseasytoperforn].Andthisin]pliesson]e

degreeo{seIfcontroI:toconqueryourownanger{or
thesakeofhappinessandpeaceTheBuddbasays,
ogoeMoCoo2Jto-

JeeeoCesOJese

getesmfcooJttakespatiencebutthe
resuItsarewortbtheeffort.

SmiIeanddososincerely.Asyousn]iIeandshower
benevolenttboughtso{loveandkindnessuponan
enen]y,aIniraclehappens.Yourradiant{aceandpre-

sencegeneratepositiven]entalwavestbatcanbreak
tbecoIdn]entaIwallseparatingthebotho{youOnly

DEALlNGWITHENEMISANDCRlTICISM8>

lovebasthepowero{influencingandchanging

negativethoughtsintopositiveones:hatredwillonly
succeedinhardeninganopponentsposition.
eeCCett5teO

eC,eegtoo

BtOZetettO
WeeCCetlrOO
tUMbJl

Tbewisedonotgetrido{theirenenIiesbyreturningevilforevilsincen]oreenen]iesarecreatedthat
way.ThepropernIethodtoovercon]eyourenerniesis
byextendingtotbeInyourgoodwillandunderstanding.Recognisetbeirneedsandwbytheyattacked
you.Tbeninsteado{criticisingspeakwellofthen].
TbisisnotwbatInostpeopledobutitworkstin]e
andagain.ItwasOscarWildewhooncesaid,A
g!ueeeogOo
Tbeexperiencesofpeoplewbousethisn]etbodclearly
den]onstratethattbisisan]ostef{ective,practical
IetbodofcbanginganenenIyintoafriend.Tbisis
alsotbeBuddhistway.
TbeBuddhataugbtthatoesocoege
eeesgOOeseses
cMJseOok.
Beforewegetangrywithson]eonewbonIweconsidertobeanenerny,iustrecalltwot}Iings:Pirstly
peoplesufferrnorefrornthehatredtheycarryintheir
nIindstbanwbattbeirenen]ieswoulddotot}]en].If

88HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

youwishtoberidofyourgreatestenen]yren]ove
yourownanger

Secondly,wenotonlylearn{ron]ourgoodfriends,
butfron]ourenen]iesaswell.V/eInustgivetben]tbe

bene{itofthedoubt.TheycouldwellberightI{
wedontpayattentiontowhattheysay(insteadof
beingangrywitbhowtbeysayit),wen]ightlosean
opportunitytolearnandin]proveourselves.Son]etin]esthisrevelationInightbeson]etbingo{in]portance,butbecauseitissoclosetousevenourown

{riendsn]igbtl]esitatetopointtbatweaknesstous.If
wekeepanopenn]ind,witboutcon]ingto}]astyconclusions,wecanlearnn]ucb{ron]ourenen]ies
DontBeAfraidofCriticisn>

Sweetnesscancausesickness.Praiseissweet,buttoo
n>uchofitcancauseonetobesickCriticisn]canbe

likeabitterpillorapainfuliniection:Itisunpleasant
surely,butitcandousgood.
Dontbea{raidofcriticisn].Ren]ernbert}]atnoone

canreallybefreefron]it,notevengreatpeople.
CritisisIis{utilebecauseitputsan]anontl]edefensiveandusuallyn]akesan]anstrivetodefendhin]self.
Critisisn]isdangerousbecauseitwoundsanIanspreciouspride,hurtsbissenseofiIportanceandarouses
bisresentn]ent.Buttbereisaconstructivesideto

criticisn].V/eshouldlistentocriticisn1,especiallyi{
tbeyareconstructive,andwelcon]etheopportunity
forselfirnproven]ent.V/es}Iouldrestrainouregoand
notharbourhatredagainsttbecritic.V/en]ustnotbe

DEALlNGWITHENEMIESANDCRITICISM89

quicktolabeltbosewbodonotshareourviewsasour
enen]ies.Notallwbocriticiseusareourenen]ies

Therefore,adoptapositiveattitudeandlistenintently
totben]essageoftbecriticisn]Doesitbaveabasis
andist}]ereson]et}]ingwecanlearnfrornit?W/en]ay
findoutourownweaknesswbichwen]ightnotbe
abletosee

Ontbeotherband,wernaycon1eacrossson1e
incorrigiblepeoplewboarenotaffectedbyourgoodwill.W/ernaytrybyusingpeace{uln1etbodsand
reasonwitbthenI,butitwillbeinvain.Eventhenwe

sbouldnotbarbourangerandtakerevengeagainst
tbeI.Becausebydoingso,wewillfallintot}]esan]c
poolofnIudtbeyarewallowingin.Gettinginvolved
inrnud-slingingwilln]akeusnobetterthanour
enen]y.W/edefileourselvesintbeprocess.Many
peopleinterferewitbunnecessarythingseitbertodo
son]etbingn]aliciousortopassuncalledforren]arks.
Asaresultoftbisnegativeattitude,tbeygetinto
trouble.

Attbesan]etirneweshouldnotbetoocriticalor

inquisitiveaboutotberpeoplesaffairsandpokeour
noseswberewearenotwanted.TbereisanEastern

folktaletoillustratetbispoint.
:

fWOSeSSOnce,sonIewoodcutters
werecuttingafallentreetrunkTbeybeganbysplittingthetrunkdownthen]iddle.Ton]alKetbeirwork

9HOWTOLIEWITHOUTPEAR&wORRY

easiertbeyinsertedawedgebetweenthetwopartsas
theyproceeded.Asitwasaln]ostnoontheydecided
totakeabreak,leavingtbetreetrunkwithtbewedge
stiIlinplace>usttbenan]onkeycan]ealong.He
wantedtoknowwbatthewedgewasdoingtbere.So
hesatastridetbetrunkwitbbistail(andotber
organs!)hangingbetweentbesplittrunkAfter
shakingthewedgevigorously,hesucceededinren]ovingit,butinsodoingthetwosidesofthetrunk
slan]n]edshutcrusbingbistailandhisotherorgans
andkiIlinghin].
q

I/hatsbouldyoudowhenson]eonen>akesan
unkindstateInent?Younayliketorelect:I
eeeoJtteeIfthey
arecon]pletelybaseless,theninsteadofgettingupset
youshouldignoretben]YouIayevenhavecon]passionbecausethepersonwboactsouto{ill-will
onlysucceedsinharn]ingbin]sel{.Ifyouareinnocent,
regardyourenen]iesasignorantandinneedof
guidance.Rernenberesuswlosaid,tegDe
rletCoottteMowbenbewas
cruci{ied.

Oneo{thebestwaystoavoidsuCbproblen]sisto
reduceasIuchaspossib}econtactwitbsuchevil

people.TbisiswhytbeBuddhaoncesaidtbat
oOMUeeeeosjOtet
M,M,tetOesOtUb
Thisn]aynotalwaysbepossible.V/hatsbouldwe

DEALlNGWITHENEMlESANDCRITlClSM9>

doi{webavetoassociatewitbsel{isbfriendswbotry

totakeson]etbingfron]us?Tbeyarelikernosquitoes,
notonlydotbeysuckourblood,tbeycanalsospread
viruses.Intbatcase,seekwaystoreduceanyreason
forinstigation.AstbeDhannapadasayinggoes,L
DemogsttoJeoe.0nno
accountsbouldweallowourse}vestobedrawninto

revenge,wbichnIighto{tenseen]stobeasweet
option.Trytoriseabovepettytroubles.W/eareangry
becauseouregoishurt.Ifwecanren]ovetbe{alse
viewo{ego,tbenwecanrealisetbattbereisreally
nothingtobeangryaboutandtbereisnooneat
wbon]thisangerisdirected
V/biledevelopingpatienceandunderstanding,we
n]ustnot,bowever,allowourselvestobeIadeuseof

byotbers{ortbeirowngain.W/esbouldn]aintaina
caln]dignityinthe{aceo{uniustattacks,butattbe
saInetinIe,wesbouldnotsurrenderournobleprinciples.

DP

DP

bstoM.Wbilewalkingdowntbe
corridorinthecon]partInento{atrain,ayoungn]an
accidentallysteppedonthefootofafellowpassenger.
venafterapologisingtbeyoungnanwasscoldedby
tbeangrynIan.
Mydearfellow,,saidtbeyoungn]an,cantyou
seetbatt}Iiswasanaccident>Ifyouarestillnothappy
witbn]yapologies,youIaysteponIyfootifyou
like.,

92HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

TbisbroughtsoInesensetotbepassengerwhofelt
asban]edofbin]selfforw}]atbehaddonetotbeyoung
n]anandhestoppedscoldingl]in>inI]ediately.
::.:

Son]epeoplen]aybeinclinedtothinkthatsorneof
tbeaboveillustrationsareverycon]Inendable,even
noble,butin1possibletoaccon]plisbandin1practical
intbisuncaringworldofourswheresurvivaloftl1e
fittestistheorderoftheday.Granteditisdifficult,
butcertainlyitisnotin]possible.Althoughpeople
takedeligbtinconI]ittingevil,withintbeirnaturelies
thepotentialtooverconIeevilandattaincon]plete
liberation.Apersoncon1n]itsevilforiIn1ediategain,
butforbisfUturegainbesl1ouldperforn]whatis
good.Eversooften,onesin]patienceforinI]ediate
resultsblindsbin]fron]settingbissightsfurtberand
bigber.W/}Ienheadoptsabroadervision,evenifbe
cannotreturngoodforevilatleastbesbouldtake
carenottoreturnevilforevil,n]ucblessevilforgood.
Youshouldnotgiveupyourgoodworkiust
becauseofcriticisn]s.Ifyourprinciplesare}]onourableandifyoubavethecouragetocarryondespite
criticisn]s,youareindeedgreatandcansucceed
anywbere.
Tbosewhodevotetbeirtin]eanddoson]eserviceto

otbersgainappreciationandcriticisnIaswell.SonIe
areiealousoftbeITbisisanaturalworldlyconditioniustastbetreetbatbearssweetandediblefruits
getsn]orepeltingfron]tbepeople.

DEALINGWITHENEMlESANDCRITIClSM93

TheBuddbasays,eoesetjeotote
tPdueoogeMeoboJ
Met.2JeeCOtt
eOsoO.
DonotexpecttoseeiIn]ediateresultstbevery{irst
tin]eyouatten]ptradiatinglovingkindnesstowards
yourenen]y.Anddonotbedisbeartenedifyouare
notrewardedforyouref{ortsYoun]ustbaveconfidence,detern]inationandperseverancetocarryon
tbispracticetowinoveryourenen]iesBysodoing,
yougiveyoureneIytbeopportunitytorealisethat
be}]aserred.Hewillcon]etoappreciateyourgentlenessandcourage
Intryingtowina{riendsbiportoendaquarrel,
yousbouldnotsaytbatyouareinthewrong,wben
tbatisnottbecase.I{youbaven]adean]istake,adn]it
it{reelyandbun]blyHowever,i{youarerigbt,stick
toyourprinciples,butaintainapurebeartabeart
{reefron]anger,batredandvengeanceOntbeotber
bandyousbouldnottrytolookdownuponsn]all
peopleorn]inoritycon]nIunities,byconsideringtben]
aspowerless.TbereisasayingtbatgetJoJ
geesM,teetetsttee.
Evenbun]blecreaturescantoppleanygiantbeasti{
theyco-operate.
q

qP

UZitisSte.Anelephantoncepulledabrancb
offatreewberetberewasabirdsnest.Asaresulttbe

nestandtbeeggsinitweredestroyed.Thebirdwas

9HOWTOLEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

veryupsetbuttbeelepbantiustwalkedoffwitbout
evensayingbewassorry.Tbebirdflewtotbewoodpecker{orbelpandtbelattersougbtouttbeelepbant
andpluckedoutbiseyes.Swan]sof{liesthensettled
ontbeelepbant,seyesoclKetsandinfectedtben]
Blindedtbeoncernigbtyelepbantwanderedabout
belplessly>ookingforwater.Tbebird,stillseeking
vengeanceaskedson]efrogstogetintoabigdrybole
andcroakfron]there.Tbeelepbant,tbinkingtbere
waswater,rusbedtotbebole,{ellintoitandwas

killed.Sotbebird,woodpecker,fliesandfrogs,all
bun]blecreaturestogetbercoulddestroyapower{ul
anin]alliketbeelepbant.Minoritygroupscansin]ilarly
cbangetbedestinyo{tbeworldifonlytheyspeakout
witbonevoice.
L

DP

<

g
GAININGCONTROL
OVRMOODS

OOsCCetepe5ttOeeJOe
eeSeoSggbC

E::

soastogaincontrolovertben]andtoavoiddoing
thingswen]igbtregretlater.V/benunderen]otional
stress,wesboulddefern]akingirnportantdecisions.
W/henweareangryorinabadn]ood,wecannotsee
ortbinkclearlytocoInetogood,well-considered
decisions.Attbeotberextren]e,wbenweareelated

andfIusbedwithhappiness,wetendtoben]ore
accoI]odatingandlessobiectiveinourt}]inking.

96HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

Anydecisionsreacbedduringsucbperiodsarelikely
tobebiased.TalKesoInernon]entstoallowtbenIind

tocalIdownAnalysetbeprobleIns.ThinktbeIn
over.Decisionsoriudgen>entsn1adewitbacalInIind
uninfluencedbyn]oodswillbelessbiasedandbetter
CbangesinIoodsarereflectedonourfaces.Verify
tbisbylookingatanIirror.Itisincidentallyagood
wayofcuringourselvesofoureverc}IangingIoods.
ItIakesuswanttolaugbwbenweseehowsillywe
lookwithascowlorsullWexpression.Ont}Ieother
band,wbenwesn]ileandrelaxtbefacialrnuscles,it

bastbeef{ectofupliftingourspiritsandn]alKingus
haPPy.
OurchangingIoodsalsos}Iowbowtransient
n]entalstatesare.Inalltbesecbanges,tbcegowhicb
peopletaketobeperIanentisonlyillusory,liken]ere
sbadows.W/benwearebappy,sadorangry,wesayI
aIhappy,sadorangry.However,thisisn1erelya
conventionalwayofreferringtooneself.Butwhereis
tbisIwbic}IfeelstbeseIoods?Isitint}Iebeadtbe

heart,tbesoul?Ifweanalyseourselvescarefully,we
willseetbattbereisreallynopernIanentIbuta
seriesofn]entalandpbysicalenergieswbicbdieas

quicklyastbeyrise.ZennasterDogensaid:s
BJtososetosoeO
oetooestoPeCee
oeJgs.
Iftherereallywasapern]anent[I,itwouldalways
appeartbesarne,witboutcbangeV/ewouldnever
growoldItisbecausethesenIentalenergiesriseand

GAlNINGCONTROLOVERMOODS

9>

fallsorapidlytbatweseen1totbinkoftheInascontinuousandpern]anent.V/efindithardtothinkotherwise,iustasitissobardtobelievethatactuallyitis
tbeearthtbatgoesroundtbesun.Ifwecanseethe
realityofourselvesasnon-existent,thenwecanseeall
ourenotionsgoodandbadasnerelyhindrances
alongtbepathtotheattainnIento{peaceandbarn]ony.Sucbanunderstandingcanprovideabandleto
controlourn]oodsbetter.

InIagineourbodyasbeingarnotorbusandalltbese
n]oodsaspassengers.Tbeyaretryingtogetint}]e
driversseattotakecontroloftbesteeringwbeel.
V/batdoyouthinkwill}Iappeninsuchasituation?
Anaccidentoracrasbwillresult.Andt}Iisiswhat

bappenston]ostpeopleintbeirlivesiftheydonot
knowbowtobandletbeirchangingn]oodswhich
causetbeircbaractertoberatherunstable.

Youn]ustreducetbenun]berofpassengers.Drop
son1eoffattbebusstopsalongtbeway.Getrido{
tbosew}]oaretroubleson]e.Getridofyouranger,
greed,worry,iealousyill-willandsoonwbicbinfluenceyourn]oods.W/ithsucbharn]fuldistractions
outoftbewaytberewillbenoiostlingforthe
driversseatandyouwillbeabletodriveinpeace.
Youwillbein{ullcontroloftbebus.Yourbodyand
n]indwillbeunderyourcontrolandyoucango
w}]ereyouwanttoYouwillbetben]astero{yourself.

ThisconceptionofSelfcausesalotoftrouble.
Becausewetbinkwe}Mveapern]anentselforego,we

98HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

attacbunduein]portancetoourselvesV/egetintothe
babitoftbinkingtbatourneedsaren]oreirnportant
overeveryoneelse,sV/benweseetbosebettertban
weare,weiealouslyputtbeIdown.Whenweseea
ricbn]an,forexarnple,wedonotfeelhappyforbiIn
(aswesbould)buttrytodigintobispasttoexpose
whateverskeletonsben]aybaveinbiscupboard.

Again,ifotbersarebetterlookingtbanourselvesor
aren]oreskilledatdoingsoInet}]ing,webecon1e
envious.Thebestwaytocornbattbesenegative{eel-

ingsistodevelopPcointbesuccesso
otbers.Trytounloadtbeprideorsuperioritycon]plexwecarrywitbusinournIinds,weearnIore
friendsotherwiseweinviteproblerns
TbelackofsynIpatheticloycreatesanotberfailing.
I/eareunwillingtoacknowledgetbebelpwereceive
fron]otbersonwbicbwebuildourownsuccess.V/e

liketotbinkwediditallbyourselves.Goodfriends
areoftenlostwbenpeopledonotknow}Iowtoappreciatetben]fortbeirlKindnesses.Tberearen]any

successfulpeopleintbeworldtodaywboevenre{use
toacknowledgetbebelpgiventothen]bytheir
parents.Ingratitudesucbastbisn]ustbeeradicatedat
allCOStS.

ConsiderationandKindness

V/beninabadn]ood,peoplearesoIetiIescruelor
ill-nIanneredtowardsthoselessfortunatetbantben>-

selves.Tbeyassuneafalsesenseosuperiority.J

GAININGCONTROLOVERMOODS

99

OCeJtott
eCoOeetese
LMJeWbenwefailtobekindtoall
Ien,wedestroyourownpeaceo{Iind.TheieweIled
pivotonwbichourlivesn]ustturnist}]erealization
tbateverypersonwenIeetduringtbedayisadignified
n]en]beroftbebuInanrace.

W/het}Ierouractso{considerationforothersbe

largeorsnIall,tbeprincipleistbesan]eThosew}]o
treatanenIployeewitbtactanddiploInacywillgoa
longwaytoIakehin1bappy.Abappy,Iotivated
en]ployeeisofgreatvaluetoanyorganisationThe
needtobeconsideratetootherbeingsburnanor
aninIalcanbestbeillustratedbyastory.
::

DotoOnce,alKingwaslearning
theartofcbarioteeringfronIaIasterborsen>an.
Assoonashiscbariotarrivedatanopenfield,
tbekingstartedtouset}Iewhipinaracewitbbis
teacber,evenbeforebisborsehadachancetowarIn

up.Verysoonbefellbehindtben]asterborseIanand
couldnotcatchupwitbhirnnoIatterbowhardhe
tried.Thisn]adethekingfurious.HesunI]onedtbe
n]asterhorsernan:ItappearsyoubavenottaugbtIe
tbebestslKillsindrivingachariot!
YourMaiesty,tbeIasterborsernanreplied,I
taug}Ityoualltbeskillsofdrivingacbariot,butyou
baveoverusedthenI.Wecbarioteers}Iavearule:we
n]ust{irsttakeintoconsiderationtbeborsestotal

1HOwTOLIEwITHOUrFEAR&wORRY

conditionandtbenactinaccordancewitbit.Wben

youfellbehind,youbecan]esoanxiousthatyou
wbippedtbehorseInadlywithoutanyconcernforits
well-bcing.YourMaicsty,youonlycaredaboutbeing
firstandbadnoconcernforyourhorse.T}latiswhy
youfellbehind.
pDpPp

ActingOutofCopassiontoA

SeeoMsJOgOit.
SeelZPieOlJsooe
tauglIttheBudd}Ia.Hereisafundan]entalbasisofthe
artofsocialinteraction.HereisanIoralteachingof
bunIanfellowship,notofabstractfaithHereisaconceptofpersonalgrowtbandt}Iecreationofbappiness
1nanysoc1ety

Son]etin]espeopleactoutofangerandbatredeven
whentbeyarenotinfluencedbynIoods.Tbehistory
ofthebun]anracewouldbavebeendifferent,ifkind-

nessandconsiderationbadbeenpractisedatalltin]es.
However,tbroughoutl]istory,Inanisseento}]ave
beenn]oreinterestedininflictingsufferingtbanin
alleviatingit.Tbisisastrangefactwhicbisdifficult
tounderstand.Lookaroundforourselves.Albert

Einsteinsaid,eoStoogeotoDe
OM,eePeeooM,eeee
OsMJe
Dueton]ansfoolisbnessandignorance,}]ecannot
fathon]thepainbeinflictsonot}]ers.Poorandhelp-

GAINlNGCONTROLOVERMOODS

>1

lessanin>alsarebeingtorturedorkilledbythes0calledcivilisedn1enintbeirpursuitofsportand
adventureTbepoorandinnocentarecallouslyexploitedtogratifyandsatisfytbecravingsofIodern
society.Son]anybavetosuf{eranddiefortbeentertainn]entandpleasureofafew.
ItisbadenougbtostrilKeatade{encelessaniInalor
toexploitanotberbuIanbeing,buttolaugbandtake
deligbtatsucbinhunIanactivitiesistorevealtbe
weakeranddarkersideo{theburnanpersonality
PoolisbpeopletakedeligbtincoIIittingevilwitha
falsesenseo{pleasure.Painisacon]n]onexperienceof
al>thatlive.W/eallfeelpain.YetinournIidst,tbere
areson]ewbocanIaugbattbepainsuf{eredbyotbers.
Itisnotfunnywbenson]eoneburtsbin]self.Itisalso
not{unnytoseeanybodysufferUnfortunately,
Ianydonotseerntotbinktbatway.Tobenoble,
peoplen]ustrenouncet}]esedefiledn]entalstates
Tbeyn]ustlearntodevelopcon]passionandacaring
}1eartforthewelfareofallcreatures,greatandsn>all.

I
THEPRESSUREAND
PLASUREOFBRNGNG
UPCHIDREN

etjeoteeogteoores
teiJeUCeJlOCeeeOCerO5O
egtetO

T:;
dutyo{eacbgenerationtopassontbetorcbo{civiIisationtothenext

Mostparentsloveandcberishtbeirchildren.There
isnosacri{icealovingparentlsnotpreparedton]ake
fortbewell-beingandbappinesso{biscbildren.
Unfortunately,n]odernn]aterialisticin{luencesand
pressuresbavenown]adetbeburdeno{parenthood

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOP13
BRlNGlNGUPCHlLDREN

greaterthaneverbefore.Iteventbreatenstotearthe
{an]ilyapart,tben]ostfundan]entalsocialstructure
wbichhadbeenforrnedbytbebun]anracebeforetbe
dawnofcivilization.
PressureonParents

TbereareInanycausesfortbiSPirsto{all,tbeeconoIicpatternduringtbelasttwobundredvearsbas
cbangeddrasticallyfron]agriculturetoindustry.No
longerdoestbe{an]ilyoperateasaneconon]icuniton
tbefarn].TbeparentsworkawayfroItheircbildren
wboaregenerallyreferredtoaslatcb-keycbildren
andonlyreturn}Ion]eafterofficeboursThenatureof
tbeirworkrequirestbeItobetin]econsciousand
tbeyarerewardedaccordingtotbeirworkperforn]ance.Duringatin]eofrecession,tbeyareexposedto
tbeinsecurityofeitberbeinglaido{{orgettinga
reductioninpay

Cbildrenareexposedtoawiderangeofexpectations,consun]ptionpatternsandden]andsbytbeir
peersinscbooIorotberactivitiesfeaturedin

advertisen>entsthroughtben]assn]ediawbicbparents
arebeingpressuredton]eetInaddition,parentsare
son]etin]esbeingevaluatedbycriticalcbildrenwho
arebettereducatedthantben>selves.Theyn>aynot
evenbaveveryIuchincon]n]onwitbt}]eirchildren
tostrikeasin]pleconversationTbisriftbetween

parentsandchildrenisknownasthegenerationgap.
Thesecbangesplacegreatpressureonparents,
rnanyo{whon]seen]unabletocopewitbtbepsycho-

1HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

logicalden>ands.Besidesalltbese,tbetwoworldwars
o{thiscenturyhavecreatedfrighteningexperiences
wbichn]anybavegonethrougbandwhic}Ihave
causedwbolenationstocbangetheirviewsabouta
benevolentGodwhocares{oralltbecreatureshe

n]ade.Inthisageofscienceandtecbnology,sucbconceptspropagatedbyIanyreligionsbavebeenfound
tocontradictn1ankindsownexperiencesandn]odern
scientificdiscoveries.

PressureonChildren

Mostparentsbavetheirworldlyexpectationsandwill
feeIasenseoffailureorinadequacyiftheirchildrendo
notliveuptothen].Greaten]pbasisisplacedonnIaterialisticattainn]entandscoringpointsbeforetheir
friendsandneigbbours,wbilespiritualvaluesare
sadlyneglectedUnfortunately,tbeircbildrenfall
victiItotbesepsycbologicalpressures.Tbeyare
encouragedtoexcelintbeirstudies,tosecureiobstbat
paywell,toclinbupthesocialladder,andtoaccu
n1ulateasn]ucbwealthaspossible.Manyparentsdo
notplacetoon]ucbvalueonvirtuessucbasgratitude,
bonesty,integrity,kindness,considerationandtoleranceThepursuitofwealthandworldlysuccessare
farnIorein>portanttot}]en].
Duetosucbsocialpressures,parents,eitberrigbtly
orwrongly,andwithouttbinkingoft}Ieconsequences,encourageandevenforcetheircbildrento
workbardandcon]petefortbeso-calledsuccess.

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOF
BRlNGINGUPCHILDREN

15

Tbeyin]posetbeirvaluesysten]sontbeircbildren
whoareunderpressuretobesnIarttobepopularand
toexcel.TbeyareundertheinIpressionthatsuccess
n]eanstheabilitytocornpete,conquerandquell
opposition,ignoringt}Ieneedtoestablishaninner
harn]onywithoneself
W/hethertbecbildrenbavetbeinterestornot,they
areexpectedtoattendclassesoncon]puters,n]usic,
ballet,swirnn]ing,andsoon,underthernisguided
belieftbatsucbactivitiesareveryin]portantfor
successandhappiness.Tbereisnotbingwrongin
pursuingsuchbealthyactivitiesiftbecbildrenare
interested,havetberequiredtalents,oriftbeyare
rneanttoenricbtbeircbildsawarenessoftbeIselves
andtbeworldaround.Theculturalactivitiesand

accon>plisbIentsarenecessarytoIakeabunIan
beingn>orecultured.Aricberunderstandingoftbe
beautyoflifeshould}]elpchildrenbeconIen]ore
understanding,n1orecon]passionate,andappreciative
oftbebeautyofnaturearoundthen].
Itisnatural{orparentstoseetbeirownfeaturesand
cbaracteristicsreflectedintbeirchildren.
PP
000000c

MyetyoGeorgeBernardShawwas
onceapproachedbyaseductiveyoungactresswbo
cooedhin]inhisear:-Wouldntitbewonderfulifwe

gotnIarriedandbadachildwithn]ybeautyandyour
brains?GeorgeBernardShawwhowashardlya
handsornen1anreplied:Mydearthatwouldbe

>6HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

wonderfulindeedbutwbatifourcbildbadIny
beautyandyourbrains?,Tbeactresswbodidnot
needn]uchpersuasioniustspedo{f.
00

pP

00

PB

PD

ItisinIportanttodifferentiatebetweenwbatis
necessaryandwbatisnotSuccessandbappinessdo
notlieinn]asteringsucbacconIplisbIentsalone.
Parentssbouldnotplacethecbildrenundersucbpressuretobebrilliantbeyondtbeircapabilities,tobe

leaderswbentbeyarenotreadyforleadersbip,orto
bestaratbleteswhentbeybavenosportingattributes.
Asaresultofunrealisticgoals,cbildrenarepren]aturelyforcedintoaworldofadultpressuresand
responsibilities.Tbeoutcon]e:tbeyarealwaystired
andlistless.Tbeyarenotabletoenioytbecarefreeli{e
o{cbildbood.Thesepressuresbavealsotbeundesirableconsequenceofgivingrisetoen>otionalinsecurity
intbeiradulthoodLetusnottransferouraIbitions
totben]androbtben]oftheircbildbood.

RecognisingPotentials

Aparentsbouldbeawareo{thepotentialwitbinbis
cbild-ofwbatbecanaccoIplisbintbe{utureinbis
ownwayandinbisowngoodtiIne.Cbildrenarenot
n]atureenougbtoplanfortbedistantfuture.Youcannotexpectaprin]aryscboolstudenttosetbissigbts
ongoingtouniversity,decidingbiscareer,orabout
bisIarriage.ButonetbingiscertainTbereisno

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOF
BRlNGlNGUPCH<LDREN

1>

sucbthingasauselesscbild.EveryhuIanbeingbas
sonIetalent,sornepotential.Anacaden>icallystupid
cbildIaybebornnaturalinn]otorn]echanicsor
cooking.Itis,tberefore,tbedutyofparentstorecog
nisewbatacbildisgoodin,bisaptitudes,topay
particularattentiontosucbgiftsortalents,and
encouragethecbildtodeveloptbernforthegoodo{
societyandtbecbild,ssenseoffulfilIent.Trytotrain
thecbildrenaccordingtotbeirn1entalitytodosornetbingw}Iichtheycandofortheirliving
0
qP

<

<

Aoe7zeCZInoneoftheataka
stories(previousbirthstoriesoftbeBuddha)thereis
anan]usingstoryOnceuponatin]etbeBodbisattaor
Buddba-to-bewasawellknownteacberwbousedto

in]partbisknowledgebygivinginstructionforbigber
studies,sincetbeproperinstitutesofhigherlearning
wererareattbattin]eIntellectualteacbersusedto

accornn]odateafewstudentsatatin>eandtaug}]tthen]
artlanguagesandson]eotherirnportantsubiects.
Tbeyconcentratedn>oreonn]oraldiscipline,religious
knowledgeandalsotaugbtt}Ien]bowtoliveharrnlesslyasgoodcitizensastbeywereveryconcerned
aboutthecareersoftheirstudents.TheBodbisatta
teacberobservedtbatoneoftbestudentsinbisclass
wasweakinhisstudiesandtbisbadbotberedhirn

veryn]uchInsteadofapplyingpressure,bedeviseda
waytoenabletbeweakstudenttoearnbisownliving.
Onedaytbeteacbercalledtbispupilofhisand

18HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

kindlytoldhinItbathiseducationwasgoodenougb
andthatt}]etin]ewasripeforbinItoconcentrateon
bishouse}Ioldlifeinearningalivelibood.Accofdingly,theBodbisattateachertaughtbirnavery
powerfulsecretforn]ulatorecitewhenneededThe
pupilwaselatedabouttbekindgestureofbisteac}Ier.
Hetbenbadehin]farewellandleftwitbaI]opesand
confidencefort}Iefuture.Takingbeedofwbatbehad
learnt,beconcentratednIoreontbeforn]ulagivento
biIbytheteacberrathert}Iandoinganyot}Ierwork
TbewordsofthisfornIulabowevergavedifferent
n]eaningsaccordingtoprevailingcircuIstances.
Onenight,asbewassleepingoutsidebisbouse,he
beardnoisesofson1eonediggingtbegroundnearby.
Insurprise,hewokeupandcornn]encedtorecitetbe
fornIula.TberneaningoftherecitalwasDgg
ggeoggg.Hearingtbisvoice,tbe
peoplewbowerediggingdiscardedtbeirtoolsandran
awayinfear.Onl]earingtbiscon]n>otion,begotup
andwenttoinvestigatewbatbadreallybappened.To
}Iissurprise,besawaboxofgoldcoins.Tbetbieves
apparentlybadburiedt}Ieboxaftertheirrobberythe
previousnigbtandweretryingtoretrievetheirstolen
goods,wbentbeygotfrightenedonbearingt}Ierecital
andfled.Tbeyoungn]anwasluckytohaverecovered
tbegoldcoins.TbeKingbavingheardtbattbisyoung
n]anbadapowerfulforIulawbicbwbenrecited
couldcbaseawayrobbers,invitedbiIntosleepnear
tbepalacegate
Oneday,asbewassleepingneartbepalacegate,be

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOF
BRINGlNGUPCHILDREN

19

wassuddenlyawakened.bytbesoundofson]eone
digging.In]IediatelybestartedtorecitehisfornIula.
DgggggeoggOn
bearingthis,tbetbieveswboweretryingtorobthe
palacebybrealKingtbrougbthepalacewallsgaveup
t}Ieirdiggingandranaway.Hearingtbiscon]nIotion,
thegatekeepersandtbeguardsinthepaacecbased
aftertberobbersandcaughtthen].Tbeyrealisedtbat
tberecitingoftbeforIulabytbeyoungn]anbad
belpedtbeItocatcbtbetbieves.W/hentbekingcan1e
toknowaboutthisincident,heinvitedtbeyoungnIan
intobispalaceandappointedbin]asoneo{bisclose
attendants

Tbeyoungn]anbeingelated,wasverybappyand
dutifullyattendedtobisdutiesdiligently.Tbeking
havingbeardoftbepowerofhis{orIularequested
tbeyoungn]antoteacbittobin].TbekingconI]itted
itton]en]oryandreciteditwheneverbewasfree.On
oneofsucboccasion,tberewasaplotbeinghatcbed
toassassinatet}Iekinginordertousurphist}Irone.
Tbecon]n]anderincbiefoft}]earn]y}Iadrequested
tbebarbertocuttbekingstbroatwbilesbavingthe
lattersbeardandpronIisedtogivetbebarberabig
rewardTbenextday,tbebarberasusualarrivedwith
tbesbavingkittosbavetbekingsbeardandstartedto
sbarpentherazorinpreparationforcuttingt}Ieking,s
tbroatasdirectedbytbecon]Iander.V/}Iilethe
barberwasusingtbestonetosbarpentherazor,the
kingcoincidentallystartedtorecitet}]eforn]ulawbich
nIeant:RggoUoe

11HOWTOIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

g,.Thebarbergotasbockandfainted.Tbe
kingwasbowevernotawareoftbeplottoassassinate
biIandsoaskedt}Iebarberwbattbernatterwasand

wbatbadbappenedtobin].Totbekingssurprise,tbe
barberrevealedthesecretandbowbehadbeenasked

tocuttbetbroato{tbekingbytbecon]n]anderin
cbie{.In]n]ediatelyt}]ekingsun]n]onedbiscabinet
andpassedtbedeatbsentenceonbiscon]n]anderin
cbiefandtheyoungn]anwbotaugbtbin]thesecret
recitalwasn1adethecoInInanderincbiefinplaceof
bin].

q<

=P

Ifteacbersandparentstrytounderstandtben]ental
capacitytbeintrinsicn]entalbabitsandtbepotential
talentso{tbeircbildren,tberewillbenodifficultyin
trainingtben]tobegoodcitizens.
Parentsrnustre-evaluatetbeirpriorities.Itbas
becoIe{asbionable{orparentstocornparetheacadeInicacbieven]entsoftbeircbildrenwitbotberparents.
ByallIneansencouragetbecbildtoexcelinbis
studies,butacbildsbouldnotbeevaluatedonlyon
thebasisofbisacaden]icacbieven]ent.W/en]ustaccept
bin]forwbatbeis,andnotwhatweexpectbin]tobe.
Yet,tbisiswbatallparentsareunconsciouslyguilty
o{Allthisdoesnotn]eanparentsshouldallowt}Ieir
childrentogrowupwitbouttrainingortoaiIfor
exce}>ence.Tbeysbouldbeencouragedtoexcel,a{ter
takingintoaccounttbeiraptitudes,inclinations,and

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOF
BRINGlNGUPCHlLDREN

>l>

abilities.HunIanbeingsarenotallbornequal,so
parentsn]ustrecognisetbeirchildrenspotentialsand
belptben]toexcelintboseareasinwbicbt}]eirpoten-.
tialisstrong.
Parentssbouldtrytorecognisetbenaturalabilityof
tbeircbildreninsteadofirnposingtbeirideasonthen].
Notallcbildrenareborntobeengineersanddoctors.
Yet,wbengiveneveryencouragen]entandsupport,
tbeiraptitudeswilldevelopandtbeycangrowtotbeir
{ullestpotential.
P

DP

iPMgy.Onceaboywbowasgiftedinpoetry
wasbornintoapoor{an1ily.Hewouldspontaneously
speakinversesevenwbenconversingwithotbers.His
talentiIpressedn]anypeoplebutnothis{atber,wbo
beinguneducated,wasnotabletoappreciatebissons
talent.Onedaywbenbissonrepliedtohirninpoetry,
hebecan]everyangryandstartedbeatingtheboy.
V/bilebewasbeingcaned,herepliedtobisfatberin
poetry.

Deeese
Ceetj
BtPoUMsegIM,o
JgIoM

OstOetMtICOOse

AOeetletOetest.,

< p0

112HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

Parentsshouldensurethattheirchildrenbe

givenagoodeducation,andalsobeequippedwit}Ia
strongetbicalandn]oralcodeofconduct.Itisonly
witl1goodetbicalandspiritualtrainingthatachildcan
growtorealisehistruepotentialPrancisStory,tbe
learnedBuddhistwriter,says:Oegeeeeeseo

eO!JeeetOee!M,ssJ

soMeCeJJOtl.

Parentshavetoteachandguidetbeircbildrennot
onlybypreceptbutalsobyexanIple.Teacbtben1bow
tofulfiltbeirdutiesandresponsibilitiesandtoshow
tbeirgratitudetoeldersandparents.Itisbyexan1ple
tbatcbildrenlearnandren1en]berbest.

<

D=

0 DD

ByzgeSOncetberewasayoungcouple
wholivedwit}]tbe}]usbandsfatber.Tbisoldn]an

wasverytroubleson]eashewasalwaysbadten]pered
andneverstoppedcoIplaining.Finallythecouple
decidedtogetridof}]in].T}Ien]anputbisfat}]erina
largebasketwbicb}Ieslungoverbissboulder.Ashe
waspreparingtoleavethe}]ousethen]ansson,alittle
boyagedtenaslKed,ather,whereareyoutaking
grandfatber?TbeIanexplainedthatbewasgoingto
leavebinIforawhileoutint}IenIountainstofendfor

hin1self.Tbeboykeptsilentashewatchedbisfather

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOF
BRlNGlNGUPCHILDREN

113

walkingawayandsuddenlyheshouted,Patber,dont
forgettobringtbebaslKetbackSurprised,tben]an
stoppedandaskedtbeboywby?Tbeboyreplied
W/ell,IllneedthebaslKettocarryyouawaywben
youareoldyourself.,T}]en]antbenquicklybrought
bisfatherbaclKtothehouseandeversincetookcareof
biInwellandattendedtoallhisfatbersneeds.
P

p0

D-P n

T}]erearesonIenarrown]indedparentswhocon]nIit
certainiIIoraltbingsandusevulgarwordsatbon]e.
Parentsn]usttakespecialcarew}]entbeyaregoing
todoson1et}1inginthepresenceoft}1eircbildren.
Tbefollowingpoen]onraisingc}]ildrenoffersson]e
practicalpointsontbeartofraisingcbildren.

jUeoeCe
eetOepet
ZfueeCogeet
eecOe6
espJe
eetOzee.
s!e
leetZCe

ZfMseC
eetOUe.
iZjeirM
eetOelse
scCtees
eetoozjetleo.

11HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

Manycarefreeparentsallowt}Ieircbildrento
bebaveastbeywishwithoutiIpartingt}Ien]any
n>ora>guidanceItisquestionablewbetberparentscan
succeedinteacbingtbeircbildrenaftertbeyreacb
adulthoodw}Ienitistoolate.Insteadofdaydrean]ing
aItbedaylongpositiveactionsbouldbegivenin
teacbingt}Ien]love,respect,harn]onyandaboveaIlto
becitizensoftbeworld.

Onesourceofworry{orparentsistbetbougbtthat
tbeircbildrenarenotveryobedientorfi>ial.They
worrytbattbeircbildrenwilInotcare{orthen]when
theyareold.Tbeyalso{eartbattheirchildrenwill
bringtben]shan]eandunbappinesstbrougbtbeir
nIisbebaviourtbusspoilingt}Iegoodnan]eo{tbe
fan1ily.Asarule,parentalloveisgreaterthanfi}ial
love.OnecannotexpectinIn]atureandinexperienced
cbildrentobeasdutifu}andlovingastheirparents
Untilandunlesstbeythen]selvesbecon]eparents,
onlytbenwi}Itheyrealisetbevalue0{parentsand
theirlove

Therearecaseswhereparentsbavegiventbeirbest
toeducatetbeirchildrenandteacbtben>goodvalues,
buttheseeffortsbaveallbeentbrowntothewind

duetotbestubbornandrebelliousnatureo{their

children.Tbereareson]eincorrigiblechildren,born
totbebestofparents.Insucbevent,parentsneednot
beren]orsefuIastheybavealreadydonetbeirparental
dutiesexpectedo{tbeIn.Parentsshoulddevelopan
understandingtochangewhattbeycanandtoaccept
wbattheycannot.

THEPRESSUREANDPLEASUREOP
BRlNGlNGUPCHlLDREN

ll5

KbalilGibranbaswrittenafewrneaningfullinesfor

parentstoconten]plate,astowhoyourc}Iildrenare:
YCeeOtOCie.
Cetesogeib
ogge

OCoetgotoo.
AogeeotfU
eogooo.
YgueteooDe
tototog
eUeeOtOg.
YsZetOeeteseeOttO
eteeO.
TbeBuddhabadt}]esan]et}]ingsaidintbeDbarn-

n]apada.Apersonwitblin1itedwisdon]n]ayt}]ink
tbathiscbildrenandwealtbbelongtobin].Buteven
behin]selfisnotbisown,wbatnIoretospeako{
childrenandwealthHowcanhebelievethatheowns

then1whenbecannotcontrolorpreventt}Iechanges
tbathischildrenandwealtbwillbavetoundergo.
Son]eparentsplaceden]andsont}Ieirn]arried
cbildren,whohavetheirownproblen]s,andarc
thernselvesundertren]endouspressureinsociety.
V/henparentscon]plainabouttbeirchildrensingratitudeitonlysucceedsinkeepingtben]awaydueto
guiltandsban]e.Butifparentsdevelopthevirtueof
equaninIity,theywillren]aincaln]andnotn]ake
unduedenIandsontheircbildren.Tbiswillbringa

116HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

greatersenseofclosenessandunderstandingbetween
parentsandc}Iildrenandcreatetbedesiredonenessin
t}]efan]ily.
ParentsinModernSociety

Oneofthesaddestt}]ingsaboutn]odernsocietyisthe
lackofparentallovewhichchildreninhighlyindustrialisedcountriessuf{erfronI.W/}Ienacouplegets
n]arried,tbeyusuallyplantobaveanun]berof
children.Andoncethechildisborn,parentsare
n]orallyobligedtocare{orbin]tot}]ebestoftl]eir
abilityParentsareresponsibletoseethatacbildis
notonlysatisfiedn]aterially;thespiritualandpsyc}]ologicalaspectsareveryirnportanttoo.
Tbeprovisiono{n]aterialcon]{ortisofsecondary
in]portancewl]encon>paredtotheprovisionof
parentalloveandattention.W/eknowo{n1anyparents
{ron]t}]enot-so-well-to-dofaInilieswho}]ave

broughtupt}Ieircbildrenwellwithplentyo{love.On
tbeother}]andn]anyric}]{an]ilieshaveprovidedevery
n]aterialcon]{ortfort}]eircbildrenbut}]avedeprived
tbeIofparentallove.SuchclIildrenwillgrowup
devoidofanypsychologicalandn]oraldevelopn]ent.

ReadParentSAndChildrenbyNaradaThera(BMSPublicationfoamoredetailedtreatmentothcsubiect.

THErEAROFDEATH

LiscetetsCeti.,
eBC

eOJ ZetoegJf.
GVbJ

O:IIib

facetbisinevitable,naturalpbenoIenonwbetherwe
likeitornot.Tbesoonerthistrutbisaccepted,t}Ie
betterwewillbeabletodirectourlivesforagood
purpose.Actually,wearedisturbednotsonIuchby

llsHOWTOlEWlTHOUTPARwORRY

deatbitseI{,butbytbewrongviewwehoIdo{it
Deathinitsel{isnottbatterrible;wbatisterribleis

tbe{earo{deatbtbatprevailsintbernind
OurIi{e-spaniscontroIledbyourbioIogicalclocks
whicbarecontinuouslytickingaway.V/bentbeyrun
out,sooneror}ater,thereislittlewecandotogain
extratirne.Onceourtirneisup,weInustbeprepared
togothroughtbenaturalprocesso{deatb.
Aveterannurseoncesaid,Ithasalwaysseen>edto
n]eI]aiortragedytbatsoIanypeoplegothrough
li{ebauntedbytbe{earo{death-onIytofindwhen
it{inalIycon]estbatitisasnaturalasli{eitself.Por
{ewarea{raidtodiewbentbeygettotheveryend.In
aInyexperience,on}yoneseen]edto{eeIanyterror
-awornanwhobaddonebersisterawrongwhicb
wastoolatetosetrigbt.
Sornetbingstrangeandbeauti{ulbappenstoInen
andwon]enwhentbeycon]etotbeendoftberoad.
AIear,allborrordisappears.Ibaveo{tenwatcheda
looko{bappywonderdawnintbeireyeswbendIey
realisethisistrue.Itisallparto{tbegoodnessof
Nature.

Astbefan]ouspbysician,SirI/il}ian]Osletputsit,
Inn]ywidecIinicaIexperience,n]ostbun]anbeings
diereallywitboutpainor{ear.
CoIningtoTernIswithDeath

A}Ihun]anbeings,irrespectiveo{sexorrace,creed,
willhavetocon]etoterInswithdeath.Tbereisno

THEPEAROFDEATH

119

alternativeescape.Deatbisaninevitableprocessof
thisworld.Itisnotoftentbatwearebraveenough
tocoInefacetofacewitbthetbougbtofourown
nIortality.Yet,n]anisnotfreeinlifeunlessbeisalso
freefronItbefearofdeath

Mgeegz
goo-oget.
GbJC

Itishardtobearthelosso{peoplew}]on]welove
becauseofourattacbn]enttotbeInTbishappenedto
Visakhaawell-knownladydevoteeduringtbetinIe
oftbeBuddba.W/benshelost}Ierbelovedgranddaug}ItersbevisitedtbeBuddbatoseekadviceinber
sorrow

sOOetOZeJsO

goteeeetto5e
eBM.YeS,0ee

BOeeto
seDcs.etOeeeOe
gsJ.
eVisJeood
eJoJeozjeeg
eOZetZeesOO.HeOs
ogeouelsoJooScPeoe
eeOsoo

V/henwedevelopattac}In]ent,wealsonIustbe

lzHOWOLEWlTHOUTPEARWORRY

preparedtopaytbepriceofsorrowwbenseparation
takesplace.
Tbeloveoflifecanson]etin]esdeveloparnorbid
{earofdeatb.V/ewillnottakeanyrisksevenfora
right{ulcause.V/eliveinfearthatanillnessoraccidentwillputanendtoourseen]inglypreciousperInanentworldlylife.Realisingthatdeatbisacertainty,
wehopeandprayforthesurvivaloftbesoulinheaven
{orourownsecurityandpreservationSuchbeliefs
arebasedonstrongcraving{orcontinuedexistence.
Accordingtopsychologicalstudies,n]ucbn]ental
stressiscausedbyourrefusaltofacefactsandaccept
li{e,srealities.Tbisstress,i{notovercornecaneven-

tuallyleadtogravepbysicalillness.Certainlyworry
anddespairoverillnesswilln]akeitworse.W/ecannot
pickandcboosetbekindofillnesswedesire,norcan
wechoosetbesuitableorauspicioustin]etodie.But
wecancertainlychoosetofaceillnessanddeatb
wit}Ioutfear.

Peoplearefrigbtenedofdeadbodies,butintbetrue
sensetbelivingareinfactfarrnoredangerousthan
deadbodies.Deadbodiesdonotbarn]usbuttbe

livingarecapableo{doingenorn]ousharn]andcould
evenresortton]urder.Soisitnotafoolishbelie{,for

peopletobea{raidor{rightenedofdeadbodies?
WbatiSBirthandDeath?

Manneednothaveto{eardeatb.Birtbanddeathare

liketwoendsofthesanIestring.Youcannotren]ove

THEFEAROFDEATH

121

oneendwhilewishingtokeeptheotber.T}Ien]ystery
ofbirtbanddeatbisverysin]ple.T}]ecoIningtogetber
ofnindandnatteralsoknownastbefiveaggregates
iscalledbirtb.Theexistenceoftbeseaggregatesis
calledlife.Thedissolutionoftbeseaggregatesiscalled
deathAndtberecon]binationoftbeseaggregatesis
calledrebirtb,andsotbatcyclewillgoonrepeatedly
untilsuc}Itin]easweattainthebliss{ulstateofNibbana.

Therearen]anywaystointerprettbissinIpleand
naturaloccurrencecalledDEATH,.Son]ebelieve

thatdeat}]n]eanstbecon]pletedissolutionofabeing
witboutal]ereafter;soIeot}1ersbelieveintbetrans.

n1igrationofasoul,fron]onebodytoanotber;andto
otbersitn]eansindefinitesuspensionoft}]esoul,
waitingfortbedayofiudgn]ent.ToBudd}]istsbowever,deat}]isnotbingn]oretbanaten]poraryendof
tl1istransientpbenon1enon.Itisnottbeendoftbissocalledbeing
Eacbandeveryindividualsbouldbeawareoftbe
roleofdeathinbisorberdestiny.V/betberroyaltyor
cornn]oner,richorpoor,strongorweak,arnansfinal
restingplacewitbint}Iislifeiseitberinacoffinlying
buriedsixfeetundergroundorinanurnorstrewn
overthesea.

Allbun]anbeingsfaceandsbaretbesarnefate.Due
toignoranceoftbetruenatureoflife,weoftenweep
andwailandson]etin]esevensn1ileandweepagain.
W/henoncewerealisethetruenatureoflife,wecan
facetbein]pernIanenceofallcon]ponentthingsand
seekliberation.Untilandunlessweacbieveour

lz2HOWTOLlV<W<THOUTPEAR&WORRY

Iiberation{ron]worldlyconditions,wewillhaveto
facedeathoverandoveragain.Andinthisrespect,
too,theroleofdeatbisveryclear.I{aperson{inds
deatbtobeunbearable,thenbeshouldn]akeevery
endeavourtoovercornethiscycleofbirtbanddeath
PeacefuIDeath

Everyonehopesanddesirestobaveapeace{uldeatb
a{terbaving{ul{illedhislifetiInedutiesandobligations.Buthown]anyhaveactuallypreparedthen]selves{orsuchaneventuality?Hown]anyforinstance
havetakentbetroubletofuI{iltbeirobligationsto
t}]eir{an]ilieslovedones,friends,country,religion
andtheirowndestiny?Itwillbedif{icult{ortben]to
diepeace{ul}yi{tbeyhavenot{ulfilledanyoftbese
obIigations
I/esbould{irstand{oren]ost}earntoovercornetbe

{earo{deathwhichnotonly}]un]ansbutalsogodsare
subiectedto.Letnottbepresentn]on]entescapeus.
Thosewbohaveallowedfleetingtin]etopassaway
{rivoIouslywillhavegoodcausetolanIentwbenthey
{acethen]selvesnearingtheendoftheirlives
I{peopledepart{rornthisworIdwithout{ulfilling

tbeirob}igations,whatevertbeyn]aybe,tbeirbirthas
bun]ansinthisexistencewouldbeinvainasithad
beenneitherbeneficialtothen]seIvesnortothis

worldTberc{ore,weshouldnotneglectourduties
andthusprepareourselvestofacedeathbravelyand

peace{u}ly.Andoneday,wewillbeabletoattainthe

THEPEAROFDEATH

lz3

idealdeatblessstatewherewewillbefreefron]all

suf{ering.
Itisin>portanttorealisethatweareborntotbis
worldtodoson]eserviceforthewealandbappiness
ofnIankindW/ewillberen]enIberedbybun]anity
n]ore{orwbatwebavedone{orrnankindtbanwbat

wehavedoneforourselves.TbeBuddbasays,Man,s
bodywillturntodust,buthisin{luenceandservices
rernainThiscanbeseenintbetangibleacbieven]ents
oftbeexen]plaryworkso{greatn]enwhicbstill
reIainwitbustotbisday,belpingtosbapeourway
o{li{eeventbougbtbeyarenon]orelivingan]ongus
Inasense,wecouldregardthen>asstillbeingwitbus
asatestin]onyo{tbeirvaluableservicesrenderedto
n]ankind.

V/benpeopleseetbeirownlivesasbeingonlya
dropinanever-{lowingriver,theywillbenIovedto
contributetheirlittleparttotbegreatstrean]o{life.Tbe
wiseknowintuitivelytbattolivetbeybavetowork
{ortbeirliberationbyavoidingevil,doinggoodand
puri{yingtbeirn]ind.
Peoplewbounderstandlifeaccordingtot}IeTeachingso{theBuddbaneverworryaboutdeath

-PD

IfetMbJ.DavidMorriswasawellknownWestern
BuddbistscbolarwlIodiedattbeageof85.Soonafter
bisdeathtbispresentwriterreceivedaIetter{ron]bin]
(obviouslyhebadwrittenitearlierwitbinstructions

12HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

forittobepostedonbisdeatb.)Itwentlikethis,You
willbebappytoknowthatIdiedtodayTbereare
tworeasonsfortbisFirstly,youwillberelievedto
knowtbatn]ysufferingfroInthesicknessbasfinally
ended.Andsecondly,sinceIbecanIeaBuddbistIbave
faitbfullyobservedtbefiveprecepts.Asaresultyou
knowtl1atnIynextlifecannotbean]iserableone

= P0P

AccordingtoBuddhisrn,deathisnottbeendoflife
buttbebeginningofanotberlifewithinSanIsara.I{
youdogood,youcanhaveabetterfuturelifeOnt}Ie
otherband,ifyoudonotwisbtoberebornagain,you
willbavetoeradicatetbecravingforexistenceand
otberdefileInentsfron]yournIind.
DeathisInevitab>e

Itisratberparadoxicalthatalthoughwesooftensee
deatbtakingtolloflives,weseldonIpausetoreflect
tbatwetoocansoonbesinIilarvictin]sofdeathWitb

ourinatestrongattacbIbnttolife,wearedisinclined
tocarrywitbusthen]orbidthoug}Italtboug}]a

realitytbatdeatbisacertainty.W/eprefertoputthis
awfultboughtasfarawayaspossibledeludingourselvestbatdeathisafarawayphenon]ena,nottobe
worriedaboutW/eshouldbecourageousenoughto
facefacts.V/en]ustbepreparedtofacereality.Death
isafactualbappening.Deat}Iisareality.

n
WHYWORRYABOUTTH
FUTURE!

LOOtOtyjMiefcoeetetjee,
eXtee-AiOoDetiYeM,

eOOOuZee.LUeOu

T;:
appearsocalmandradiant>TbeBuddhareplied:
eJOOottJJt
cueotettCJotCOe
ePese!Ce.
eCetJtceJOi.
Bugoggte

l26HOWTOL<VEW<THOUTPEAR&WORRY

JoogezMtJt
oseee

AJC-Oteeee.

W/eDoNotW/orryAboutOurFuture

Peopleareoftenworriedabouttbeirfuture.Afortune
te>lerwhovisitedateIplequestionedt}]en]onk,
Reverend,wouldyouliketoknowaboutyour
{uture?,T}]en]onkknewwbatbewasuptoand
replied,AsoJMootoUoo
Tbefortunetellertbensawtwogirlsattbetypewriterandaskedtben>thesan]equestionTbeyhad
previouslyoverbeardtben]onksrepIyandsotold
hiIntbattbeytoodidnothavetoworryabouttbeir
{uture.Sincet}]en]ancou}dnotgetanyonetolistento
bis{ortunetelling,bedecidedtoleavetheten]ple.As
beleft,tben]onkren]arked,ItseeIsthatyou,too,
baven]issedachancetogainsoInetbing{oryourown
{uture,

Tbesecretofbappy,success{ullivingliesindoing
wbatneedstobedonenow.V/esbouldnotworry
abouttbepastandtbefutureW/ecannotgobackinto
thepasttoundotbetbingswebavedoneNorcanwe
anticipateeverytbingthatn]ayhappenintbe{uture
duetoconditionsintbeworldwbichareconstantly

cbangingandunpredictable.Thereisbutonen]on]ent
o{tiIneoverwhichwebaveson]econsciouscontrol-

tbCpresent!
TbisTrutbbasalwaysbeenrecognisedbyalltbe

greattbinkersinthisworldo{ours.Theysawtbatit

WHYWORRYABOUTTHEFUTURE!

l2>

isfutiletolivewitbn]en]oriesoftbepastandwith
drean]so{t}]efuture,neglectingt}]epresentrnon]ent
anditsopportunities.Tin]en]ovesonLetusnot
standidlybyandseeourbopesforsuccessturninto
nIen>oriesoffailuresItlieswitbinourpowertobuild
son]ethingtoday.TheBuddbabassbownustheWay
ton]aintaincbeerfulnessthrougbcontentn]ent.Tbe
tin]eisnowandtbecboiceisours.

Kalidasa,agreatIndianpoetandplaywrightwrote
thefollowinglinesinSanskritonthesin]pletrutbof
livingintbepresent:
e5teM,e,
AtOOoosO
BtODeUeeseZeeste
AeM
AeDeUtOOO
ADolOPeo.
LOOetetOJ.
W/orryingAbouttheFuture

Manypeopleworrywhentbinkingabouttheirfuture.
Tbereisnoreasonforpeopletoworryi{theybave
learnedtoadiustt}]en]seIvesaccordingtothecircIstanceso{theirdaily}ife.Inaddition,theyshouIdalso
takeadvantageo{wbatispossibIeatpresent.Tbe
abilitytosbapetbecourseo{oneslifecanon}ybe
exercisedinthepresent,nottbepastorfuture.Only
intbepresentcanonestoporstartdoingatbing
I/batevercastlesbebuildsintheairandwhateverdre-

128HOWTOLIVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

an]sbebasin}Iisn]indwillcon]etonaugbtif}Iedoes
notbingaboutit.
Hewboissubservienttotbefuturebecon]estbe

playtbingoffortuneSonIepeopleareintbebabitof
consultingfortune-tellersandastrologerswbenfaced
witbworriesordifficultiesW/biletberearesorne

astrologerswbocanrnakegoodpredictions,t}Iereare
alargenun]berofunscrupulousIenouttoIakea
fastbuckbypretendingtolKnowbowtoforetelltbe
{uture.PeopIewhogotosucbfortunetellersaresubconsciouslynIasochisticandlovebearingtbatthe
futureboldsn]iseryfortbern.Portunetellersare
quicktoassesstbepersonalitiesoftbeirclientsand
generouslyobligetben]witbterrifyingtalesofthebad
lucktbatwillbefallthern.Tbesegulliblepeoplespend
tbeirn]oneyonritualsandso-calledcbarn]sand
anIuletstoavoidtben]isfortunes.Ontbeot}]erhand,

wbentbeyaretoldtbatsonIegoodluckwillcon]e
tbeirwaytheyspendlargesun]sofnIoneytowinat
gaIblingorlotteries.Ineithercase,Afoolandbis
n]oneyaresoonparted
ChangingOnesFortune

Peopleworryunnecessarilyovertbeirhealtbfarnily,
incoIe,fan]eandpossessionsTbeytrytornaintain

stabilityintbatwbic}Iisinberentlyunstable.Tbe
n]oretbeyworryabouttheir{uture,tbeIoretbey
losetbeirconfidenceintheirlivesanddevelopselfisb
desires.Hewboisconstantlytryingtochangehis

WHYWORRYAB0UTTHEPUTURE|

129

conditioninlifeknowsnopeaceofn]ind
Asuffererwbobelievesinfatewilltbink,Tbiswas

preordained,tbiswasallottedton]ebyGod;there{oreIn]ustpraytoGodandaskbin]tocorrectIny
wayoflife,.Hen]ayspendn]oretin]eforprayingto
tbeextentofneglectingbisdaytodayduties
IfwebelieveinKan]n]a,wewi!lreasonasfollows,

Tbisistheresulto{n]yownactivitiesinprevious
livesorinthisli{eitself.In]usttrytorectifythe
balancebyn]akingtheef{ortindoinggoodandby

strengtbeningtbernindthroug}In]editation.Indoing
so,tbeunfavourableeffectofcertainkan]rnic{orces

canbesubduedandhecangainsuccess.
eeeOJt5CleCOtt

e5oggglt

AeOttet

BegOOMwMet.
DooMCoglMuesJM
ACleteotCo
BlOZJOCe5ee

eesetCMeeO,
MCJeOeJOietO
WteUeeOstOse.

Insteadofworryingunnecessarilyabouttbe{uture,
dowbatcanbedonenowinn]aking{ulleruseo{your
potential.Ren]en]ber,tbepresentistbecbildo{tbe
past,andtbeparentoftbefuture.

PARTIII
INGREDIENTSFORHAPPINESS

B
HOW/TOHNDREAL
HAPPINESS

H!esssLJPZe
eoeesg
fMfeceOUeOe,ee
AotegoStteig.

D!!!I

weall,witboutexcept1on,wantto}1avebappiness,
althougbtbeideaofwbatconstituteshappinessand
bowitcanbeobtaineddiffersfroInpersontoperson.
Onewritersays,Happiness,asviewedbyrnost
people,isanIucbsougbtfordestinationItissonIetbingtobeItissoIetbingtobecorneTotbisunfor-

l3HOWTOUVEWlTHOUTPARWORRY

tunatelot,happinessistbeendo{tberainbow,tbepot
o{goldTbeyspendali{etiIecbasingrainbows.Tbey
n]igbtaswellcbasetbeirownsbadows{ortbeysball
never{indintheexternaltbatwhicbonlyresides
witbin.

Happinessisintbeiourneynotintbedestination.
HeOJqoenO
WJeoJegeJoJe
OMP!JeOOsOestOjUe
eC0ogHZJWeto
Jcotitgsoegtoetotc
CeCODe.HZJweZMOseuOZMOJe
COeJOse0tJjeOJoUHwJ
eOOUesOUeHseO!.
AIIn]encraveforbappiness.Tbeyworkbardday
andnighttogainbappiness,eveni{itisknowntobe
fleetingYet,despitetbeirstriving,theyareo{ten
furtberrathertbannearertowbattbeybavetriedso
hardtowork{or.V/byistbisso>
TheSearchforHappiness
Modernlifeisastruggleastruggletogainnonetary
rewards,con]fortandIuxury.Insteado{bringing

happiness,tbislifesty}ebringsanxietiesandstress.
Tberearein]portantn]on]entsineveryone,sli{ewben
alln]aterialthingsareo{littIeva}uewbencornpared
totben>entalorspiritualioyo{detacbn]ent{ron]
worldlythings.
Inlivingalay}i{e]tbeiInportanceofeconon]ic

HOWTOFlNDREALHAPPlNESS

135

welfareforleadingagoodlifecannotbeunderstated.
W/esbouldnotpretendthatpeoplecanbehappyi{
theyarestarvingandlivingundernIiserableconditions.PovertyandlivinginsluIareascanstifle
buIan}Iappiness.ItisawretcbedlifeintbesluIsif
alargefan>ilybastolive,eat,s>eepandprocreatein
onesnIallbutThewretcbednesso{tbeenvironn]ent

andthedesperatelivesoftheresidentsthereincan
oftennIakesucbareasabreedingplaceforviceand
bitternessunlessitcoprisesaconrnunityofsaints
wboseekpeaceinpoverty.
However,itisusefultoreIernbertbatwealtband

poverty,bappinessandn]iserv,areallrelativetern]s
Onepersonn1aybericbbutunbappy;anotberrnaybe
poorbuthappyW/ealthisablessingi{rightlyand
wiselyused.Butpartofthetragedyoftbepooris
tbeirselfisbdesireforn1aterialtbings.Iftbeircravings
arenotfulfilled,tbeylivewitbresentn]ent.Tbe
tragedyoft}Ierichistheirinabilitytoriseabovetheir
wealth.Tbeyclingtot}Ieirwealthfoolisbly.Hence
happinessisnotfoundineithercase,withtbepooror
tberich.

SonIepeoplethinkthatagoodandcongeniallife
partnerisasourceofhappiness.Itn]aybesotoson]e
extent.Otberpeoplethinkthatcbildrenareanotber
sourceofbappinessButtbesearenotstableconditionseitber.AlifepartnercandieorleavetbenI,wbile
son]ecbildrencouldbringn>oresorrowtbanbappinesstotheirparents
W/esbouldlearntobecontentedandbappywitb

136HOWTOLIEWITHOUTPEAR&WORRY

wbatlittlewehavewbicbbasbeenbestowedonus.

W/esbouldevenbebappyandcontentedwitbourpresentstateofbeingeventboug}Iwearenotfortunate
enougbtobeblessedwithtbeleastofourbun1ble
expectat1ons

Pb

=P

AClitSS.Tberewasonceapoorcbildless
couple.Altbougbinallotberrespectstbeywere
bappy,tbewifebadaverystrongIaternalinstinct
andshedesperatelywantedtobaveachildofberown.
Tbebusbandsuggestedtbattheyadoptonebutshe
wouldntbearofitsayingtbatitn]ustbeberown
{lesbandblood.Tbeytriedallsortsofren]ediesbut
notbingseeIedtoworkTbewifebecaIen>oreand
n]oredepressedandtbestress,anxietyandsenseof
inadequacy,becan]eoverpoweringandbegantoaffect
berIentalbealtb.Graduallybowevertbebusband
begantonoticeacbangeinber.Sbepretendedtobe
pregnant,wbeninfactsbewasnotTben,oneday
wbenbereturnedboIne,befoundberradiantly
bappy,cuddlingalittlebundle.Heexan]inedthe
bundleandfounditwasnotbingn]orethanalittle
blockofwood.Sbecherisbeditn]ostdearlyshoweringitwitballbern]otberlyloveasi{itwereareal
baby.Sbewentt}]rougbtben]otionsofcaringforber
babydressingitupasan]otberwoulddo.Sbeeven
n]adeacosycotandrockedberbaby,tosleepwbilc
sbesangasoftlullaby.Infactsbebegantobebave

veryIucblikeacbildplayingwitbadoll.Tbe

HOWTOFlNDREALHAPPINESS

busbandbecaIeveryworriedaboutlIiswife,scondition,andbetook}Iertoconsultawellknown

psychiatrist.Nowthisexpertstudiedhercasecarefullyandn]adeastartling,tl1ougbveryhurnandecision.HeexplainedtotbehusbandtbattbewoInan
hadfinallyfound}1appinessbyin1aginingwbatshe
couldnotgetinreality.Headvisedtbatdeprivingber
oftbathappinesswouldbe{arrnorecrueltbantrying
togethertobebaverationallyandthrowawaythe
blockofwood.

W/eseeberethatson1etin1esourdecisionsregarding
otberpeoplernustbeguidedbyt}Ieheartratberthan
tbecoldintellectW/ecouldalson]entioninpassing
thatifwecraveforanythingbeyondreasonitcan
af{ectusn1entallyandupsetoursenseofbalance.
Congenialconditionsinonespolitical,econoIic
andsocialenvironn]entarein]portantforones}]appinessinasociety.SirPbilipGibbsinhisbook,W/ays
ofEscape,says,V/bathun]annatureistryingtofind,
initseternalquestforbappiness,isson]esysten>of
governrnentandsocietywbichwillgivetoeveryindividualafullandfaircbanceofdevelopingbispersonalitytotbeutn]ost:byinterestingworkandnot
toon]ucbofit;bysecurityforbin]sel{andbisfan]iIy
andbisfellow}]un]ans;asensitiveandgenerousbeartedn]ancannotbebappyifn]assesofhunIan
beingsaresufferingaroundbin];byadecentn>inirnuIofcon]fort,andbylibertyofthoughtandaction

138HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

restrictedonlybyacodeofbonourwbicbforbidsbi

tobeburtfultobisneighboursIntbatlibertyof
tbougbtandactionhebasbiscbanceofadventureand

deligbt:ofbecoIingawareofbeauty,penetrating
{urtberintoknowledge,gettingn]oren]asteryover
hirnsel{andbissurroundings,reacbingouttoeverytbinginIifewhichiswortbbavingfornIindand
body.,

Buddbisn]teacbestoadoptbarnIlessandrighteous
n]eanstogainbappinessThereisnon]eaningintryingtoenioyonesbappinessbycausingsu{{eringto
anotberpersonorotberlivingbeingsTbisisinkeepingwitbtbeadviceotbeBuddba:Besseete
oetleueoooMgote
IngredientsforHappiness

Inbuildingabappy,purpose{ulli{e,wesbould
exerciseourcon]passionandwisdoI,tbetwowings
tbatcanflyn1antotbesun]nIitofhun]anperfection.
I{wearetodeveloptbeen]otionalaspectneglecting
tbeintellectuaI,wewillbeconIegood-beartedfools,
wbiletbedevelopInento{ourintellectualsideattbe
neglectoftbeen]otionalwilln]akeusbard-bearted
intellectualswitbnofeelings{orotbers.Accordingto
tbeBuddhacon]passionandwisdon]n]ustbedeve>opedioint}yforrnantogainliberation.Goodlifeis
inspiredbyloveandguidedbyknowledge.
V/hatiscon]passion?CoIpassionislove,cbarity,
kindnessandtoIerance.Itisactingoutofloveand

HOWTOFlNDREALHAPPlNESS

139

concernforallthatlive,especiallywhentbeyarein
un{ortunatecircun]stances

AndwbatiswisdoIn?W/isdon]isseeingtbingsas
tbeyare,andactingoutthenoblequalitiesoftbe
n>ind.V/benaIanseesabeautifulwon]anandis

attractedtoher,hewisbestoseeheragainandagain.
Hederivespleasureandsatisfactionfron]berpresenceHowever,wbenthesituationcbangesandbe
cannolongerseeberbenIustnotactunreasonabIy
andbebavefoolish>y.Tbisunsatis{actorysideisafact
o{bun]anexperience.IfbebasnounrealisticattachInentorselfishclingingtoher,bewillberelatively
freefron]tbatsufferingIntbep>easuresofli{e,tbere
arepainsandsorrows.W/hilethereisnodenyingtbe
happinesstbatpeoplederivefron]sensepleasuret}]e
natureo{sucbpIeasureisbrie{anddoesnoto{{er
lastinghappiness.Therealizationoftbis{actis
wisdon>.

Theingredientsforhappinessaresirnple.Happinessisastateofn]ind.Itcannotbefoundinthe

n]aterialtbingsaboutus,sucbaswealth,poweror
fan]e.Thosewhospendalifetin]ebarvestingand
accun]ulatingInorewealtbthant}Ieyneedwillbe
disillusionedanddisappointedwbentbeydiscover,

onlytoolate,thatalltben]oneyintheworldcannot
buyagrainofhappiness.Thesearcbforpleasurernust
notbecon{usedwitbtbesearcbforbappiness.Pleasureisapassingsbowanddoesnotofferlasting
happiness.Pleasurecanbebougbt,butnothappiness.

1HOwTOLIvEwITHOUrFEARwoRRY

HappinesscoInesfron1witbin,basedontbe{oundationofsin]plegoodnessandclearconscience.
Nooneisbappyunlessbeiscontentedwitbbin]-

self.TbequestforIentaltranquillityisonlypossible
througbrnentalcultureorn]editation.Tbereisso
n]uchtodo,andsolittleisdone.Onlytbrougbselfanalysisandpurificationwillourlatentseedsof
virtuesbeabletosprouttorevealourdivineaIid
hun]annature.ItisnotaneasytaskItrequiresperseverance,detern]inationandeffort.

HZJesMeeOOtoOote
ogtgoe
Ifyouwanttolivepeacefullyand}1appily,allow
otbersalsotolivepeacefullyandhappily.Unlessand
untilyouadiustyourselftoliveaccordingtotbese
nobleprinciplesyoucannotexpectbappinessand
peaceintbisworld.Andyousbouldnotexpectgratitudefron1ot}1ers.DaleCarnegiesays,Ifwewantto
findhappiness,letusstopthinkingaboutgratitudeor
ingratitudeandgivefortbeinnerioyofgiving.Ingratitudeisnatural,likeweeds.Gratitudeislikea
rose.Itbastobefed,watered,cultivated,lovedand

protected.
Itisnotinrnan,snaturetoappreciateanythingthat
con]estobin>easily.Howeverw}Ient}]esethingsare
takenawaytbenonlydoesheappreciateit.Tbeairwe
breatbeandourvitalorgansarealltakenforgranted
andweevenabusetbeI,soIetinIesuntilitistoolate.

HOWTOFlNDREALHAPPlNESS

l1

I/esbouldnotbelikea{isbwhicbdoesnotknowthe
va>ueo{wateruntilitistakenouto{it.

eeOJetOJsA
LCO tlteOeetOJe
e teJtOe.j
tJ

Youcannotbopetogainhappinessandpeaceby
sin]pIyprayingYou}]avetoworktogainsuchblessings.BeIie{inGodandprayingforblessing{orprotectionisusefu}butyousbouldnotforgettolockt}]e
doorwbenyougoout{ron]tbebouse.Becausetbere
isnoguaranteethatGodwilllookafteryourbouse
untilyoucon]ebackYous}Iou}dnotnegIectyour
responsibilities.Ifyouactaccordington]oralprinciples,youcancreateyourownheavenrightbereon
earthButwhenyouvioIatetben],youcan{eelthe
bell-fireonthisearthitsel{.Peoplewringtbeirbands
andgrun]bIewhentbeydonotknowbowtolive
accordingtotbenaturalandcosn]icIawofIKaInInaand
createaIoto{tbeirowntroubIes.I{eachn]antriesto

leadarespectabIeli{easagentIen]an)wecanaIenioy
realbeavenlyblissintbisworId,withoutwaitingto
dietoenioyit.Thereisnoneedtocreateaheaven
elsewheretorewardvirtueorahelltopunisbvice.
Virtueandvicebaveinevitablereactionsintbisworld

itself.Oneofthen]ostbafflingquestionsn]ankindis
facedwitbiswbethertbereareplacescalledbeaven
andbeII,inexistence.PeopIebavenoclearunderstandingontbisconcept.

2HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTPEARWORRY

p=0

D0

WeeiSeDeeTberewasonceanonk

wbosefavouritesubiectforbispreacbingwasbeaven
andbell,.Oneoft}Iedevoteeswhowasgettingtired
o{listeningtot}Ien]onk,sconstantrepetition,oneday
stoodupandasked:Telln]ewbereisthisbeavenand
bell?Ifyoucannotanswern]e,Iwillcallyoualiar!,
Tben]onkbeinganinnocentpersonbecan>eafraid.
Insteadofansweringhekeptsilent.HissilencenIade
tben]anevenn]oreangryandhesbouted:Speakto
n]eorIllbeatyouup!Then]onkquicklygathered
biswitsandreplied,Hellisaroundyounow,witb

youranger.,Tben1an,realisingthetrutb,calnIed
downandbegantolaugb.Hetbenasked:W/bereis
heaventben?towbichthen]onkreplied:Itisnow
aroundyou,witbyourlaugbter.,Heavenandbellare
wbatwenIakeo{ourlivesHeavensandbellsexistin

anypartoftbeuniversewberelivingbeingsexist
Tberearenosuchseparateplaces.

=P

p0 <

W/hereisHappiness?

WberedoweIook{orhappiness?V/itbinyou,,says
tbeBuddhaNobodywilldenytbatbappinessisthe
Inostdesirablestateo{being.Happinessisnotson]e-

thingwbichsin]plybappens.Happinessisastateo{
consciousnesstbatdoesnotdependuponthepbysical
appetitesandpassions

HOWTOFlNDREALHAPPlNESS

<

D0

DP

-P

eCotteMoos.AcertainOriental

kingwbowasveryunbappysougbttbeadviceofa
philosopber.Tbephilosopheradvisedt}IelKingto
searchforthen]ostbappyandcontentedn]aninbis
kingdon]andtowearbissbirt.A{teralongsearcbtbe
Kingfinallyfoundtben]an-butbebadnos}Iirt!

<

AWell-knownwritersays:CbgtoeBM
IbOttoseeotCotete
SooottePCetM,eggS
Cog.
Unsatisfieddesireistben]aincauseo{unbappiness.
Getridoyourdesires,andyouwillbefreefro
yourunbappiness.OegoboItecJs
BteeJbgtleqf
CtoobgJMsetebjoet

sotegCeSSbg
ctOoOwOeetO
eototOettO
]

eU.

Peaceorsatis{actionisalsodependentonones
needsDogsIikebonesbutnotgrass.Cowslikegrass
butnotbonesInt}IesaIeway,son]epeople}ike
exciten]entn]orethanpeace;{orotherspeaceisIore
in]portantthanexcitenIent.>ustasdelicious{oodto
oneIancanbecon]ebarn]{ultoanother;tben]edicine

1HOWTOLEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

wbicbcuresthesicknessofonecanbecon]etbecause

ofdeathtoanotber.Oneperson,spleasurecan
becon]eanuisancetoanot}]er.

Happinessisarnentalstatewhicbcanbeattained
throug}It}1ecultureoft}1en1ind.Externalsources
suchaswealtb,{an]e,socialpositionandpopularity
arebutten]porarysourcesofhappiness.T}]eyarenot
therealsourcesofbappiness.Therealsourceisthe
n]indT}Ien]indwbicbiscontrolledandculturedis

therealsourceofbappiness.Theopiniontbatn]ental
tranquillityisunattainableisnottrue.Everyonecan
cultivateinnerpeaceandtranquillitytbroug}Itbe
purificationoftl1en]ind.
Byrenouncingtbatwbicbisperisbableonearth,
onecangetthein>perisbablegi{tofhappiness.


HNDINGPEACEAMIDST
STRIFEANDCONFICT

AooMeCeeeWgmJte
Jeeeetjeeve!ecePeCece
eougeqfCo.

N:!

{ron]conflictill-feeling,selfisbness,deceitandstrife
W/eareindireneedo{peacenotonlyinour}]oIes,
officesandinourpersonallives,butalsoatglobal
level.Tbetension,anxietyand{eararising{ron>conflictsarenotonlydisrutivebutconstltuteaconstant
drainonourbeing,n]entallyandp}]ysically.HuIan
beingsbavebecon>ethen]ostviolentbeingsinthis
world

16HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

UnrestandGloba>Conf>ict

Today,thetbreatofglobalnucleardestructionisa
realpossibility.Sbouldtberebeaglobalnuclearwar
therecanbenosanctuaryanywbereundert}Iesunfor
n]antoescapetoV/hatan]esstbebun]anracebas
landeditsel{in!Scientificadvancen]entwbicbhas

n]adepossiblethetappingofthetrenIendousenergy
witbintbeatoInhasalsoendangeredtbehunIan
species.Aslongasn]anisdon]inatedbyignorance,
selfisbness,injustice,vengeanceandotherkindredevil
destructive{orces,noonewillbesafefronIbin].

ItbasbeenrecordedthattbeblindingHasbofthe
firstaton]icbon]bonHiros}]in]aalteredtbecourseof

worldbistory.Tbeflasbwbicbradiatedfron]Hirosbin>acreatedsuffering,fear,batredanduncertainty
ton]illionsoflivesallovertbeworld.Instarkcon-

trast,tbegloriouslightt}Iatflashedandradiatedwith
tbeenligbtenn]entoftheBuddhaundertbeBodhitree
IoretbanZ500yearsagowasalsoofgreatsignificancetohun]andestiny.Itillun1inatedt}Iewayfor
nIankindtocrossoverfron]tbeworldofdarkness

{illedwitbgreed,hatredanddelusiontoaworldof
ligbtfilledwitIove,kindnessandbappiness.
Tbebasicproblen]wefacetodayisn]oraldegenerationandInisplacedintelligence.Inspiteofalltbe
advancesIadebyscienceandtecbnology,theworld
isfarfrornbeingsafeandpeaceful.Scienceandtecbnologybaveindeedn]ade}]un]anlifen]oreinsecure
tbaneverbefore.Ifthereisnocorrespondingspiritual

FlNDNGPEACEAMlDSTSTRlFEANDCONFLlCTl

iInproven]entinourapproacbtobun]anproblen]s
thenbun]anli{eitseIfwiIIbeindanger.
TbeBudd}]ashowedn]ankindthewaytoanew
worldo{peace,prosperityandgoodwill.Buttoday,
tbebun]anracebasignoredtbistinIelessn]essage.
Nucleardestructionisiustonyabuttonawayo
n]anwhobasgoneastray.Mann]ayhavegainedcontro}overtbeforceso{nature,butbeisnotincontrol

ofbisownnature.I{hecontinuesintbisway,tbereis
onlyonewaybecanproceedalongtbepathtosel
destructionandextinction.

Inthesearcb{orpeaceandharIony,wor>dleaders
baveatten]ptedtoforrnulateinternationa>treatiesand
agreen]entstopreventorsettIedisputesarnong
nations.TbeUnitedNationsasaworldbodywas
establis}]eda{tertheSecondI/orldV/arton]aintain

internationalorderandstability.Itn]ightnotbethe
bestvebic}etoacbievetbatpurposebutatleastitprovidesaworkablesysten]wberebydisputingnations
cann]eetinacivilisedn]annertosettletheirproblen]s.
ThebostiIity,{earandsuspicionan]ongdi{{erent
races,nationsandre}igiousdenonIinations,bowever,
donotn]akepeace{ulco-existenceaneasiIyaccon]plisbedgoaLDespitetbeendlessboursofnegotiation
andrhetoricattbeUnitedNations,countriesarestill

{igbtingoneanotberandceasefireagreen]entsare
brokenwithin]punityandpredictableregularity
I/beredopeoplefindpeaceand}Mppinessundersucb
circun]stances?Happinessneverariseswbenthereis
fear.

18HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

Establishn>entofPeace

Abappyandcontentedlifecannotbeacbievedifwe
wasteourtin]eandenergyinconflictandstrife.
Tobavepeace,weInustrenounceconflictofevery
description.Theheart,oncefreedfron]sucbstrife,
wiIltbenbefreetobecon]etbeinstrun]entofwelfare

thatitsbouldbe,insteadofbeingabindranceto
societyTbeinvisibleandpowerfu>nIindcanbe
divertedtotbewealofn]ankind,insteadofitswoe.

Aboilcannotbecuredbyn]erClycuttingito{fwitb
ablade.Tbecontan>inatedbloodwiIlonlyproduce
n]oreandIoreboils.Tberootcausen]ustbeinvesti-

gated{irstandelin]inatedtoe{fectaradicalCure
Sirnilarlyfortberetobepeace,tbeheartandnIind,
whicb{orn]tbebasisof}]un]anaction,s}]ouldalsobe

atrestTbiscanbebrougbtabouttbrougbasincere
spiritualawakeningWatisoinportanceisnotnere
{aitbbutforpeopletoleadali{eoflove,sincerityand
iusticebasedonthen]oralprinciPlestaug}]tbyreligiousteac}Iers.
GoingBeyondW/or>d>yP>easures

ReligiousteacbersalwaysIaintaint}]atbun]an}Iappinessdoesnotdependuponthesatisfactionofphysical
appetitesandpassions,orupontheacquisitionof
Inaterialwealtb.Tbisfactisalsoclearfron]ernpirical
bun]anexperience.Evenifwe}Mvealltbeworldly
pleasures,wecannotstillbehappyandpeace{ulifour
n]indsareconstantlyobsessedwitbanxietyand

PlNDlNGPEACEAMlDSTSTRlFEANDCONFLlCT19

batred,arisingfron]ignorancewitbregardtotbetrue
natureofexistence.

Genuinebappinesscannotbedefinedinterrnso{
wealth,power,cbildren,farneorinventions.These
arenodoubtconducivetoson]eten]porarypbysica}
corn{ortbutnottobappinessintbeultin]atesense.
Tbisisparticularlysowhenpossessionsareuniustly
obtainedorn]isappropriated.Theybecon]easource
ofpain,guiltandsorrowratbertbanbappinesstotbe
possessors.

Pascinatingsigbts,enchantingn]usic,fragrant
scents,delicioustastesandenticingbodycontacts
n]isleadanddeceiveus,onlytornakeusslavesof
worldlypleasuresV/hilenoonewilldenythattbere
isn]on>entaryhappinessintbeanticipationofasweII
asduringtbegratificationoftbesenses,suchpleasures
are{leeting.V/henviewedinretrospection,aperson
canunderstandthe{leetingandunsatisfactorynature
ofsucbpleasurespavingtbewaytoabetterunder.
standingofthisreality.
I{n]aterialpossessionsarethepreconditionof
bappiness,thenwealtbandhappinesswouldbe
synonyInous.Istbisafact?Apoetdisagreeswitbtbis
belieftbus:

CegzejeJsLooosee
WtgJteJ5WreJe
WtteLztjsCo.
eesCoe

I/eaIthcannotquencbtbeburningtbirsto{craving.

>5HOWTOL<VEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

I/ecanneverbebappyi{wen>ereIyseektosatisfy
ourgrossanin]aldesires,tosatisfyourneedfortbe
pIeasuresof{oodandsex.Ifitwereso,tbenwithtbe
tren]endousprogressacbievedinevery{ield,tbe
worIdcouldwellbeontheroadtocon]pletebappiness.ButthisisobviousIynottbecaseV/orldly
desirescanneverbeentirelysatisfiedbecausetbe
Inon]entweobtainson]etbingwewant,wesoon
becon]edissatisfiedwitbitandcraveforsoIetbing
else.V/hentbechangesanddecayoccurintben]any
tbingsweclingto,weexperienceunbappiness.The
enioyn]ento{sensualpleasureisnotreal}Iappiness.
Truebappinesscanonlyarise{ron]tbe{ullfreedon]of
tben]indThesourceo{bappinessisnotpbysical:it
Inustbe{oundinaInindfree{ron]rnentaldisturbances.

I/orldlytreasuresarein]pernIanentbuttranscendentaItreasureslikecon{idence,n]orality,generosity,
honestyandwisdon]arein]perisbable.En]otional
attacbn]ent,}latredandiealousydebaseaperson;but
goodwill,syn]patbeticioyandanunbiasedattitude
willn]akehin]noble,evendivineintbisIifeitsel{.

Mancandeve}opandrnaintainbisinnerpeaceonly
byturninghistboughtsinwardsinsteadofoutwards.
Beawareofthedangersandpit{allso{tbedestructive
{orceso{greed,batredanddelusion.Learntocultivateandsustaintbebenevolent{orcesofkindness,

loveandbarmony.ThebattIegroundiswithinus,and
i[iswithinustbattbegreatestbattIehastobefougbt
andwon.Tbebattleisnot{oughtwithweapons,but
withn]entalawarenesso{a|Itbenegativeandpositive

PINDNGACEAMlDSTSTRlEANDCONPLlCTI5!

forceswitbinourn]inds.TbisawarenessistbelKeyto
unlocktbedoor{ron]whicbcon{lictandstri{easwell

aswboleson]etbougbtsen]erge.
T}Ien]indistbeultinIatesourceo{a}lbappinessand
n]isery.Fortberetobebappinessintbewor}d,t}Ie
n]indo{theindividualn]ust{irstbeatpeaceand
bappy.Individualbappinessisconducivetothe
happinesso{tbesociety,wbiletbe.bappinessof
societyIeansbappinesstothenation.Itisontbe
bappinessofnationstbatthehappinessoftbeworldis
built.

Pron>thelessonso{>ife,itiscleartbatrealvictory
isnevergainedbystri{e.Successisneveracbievedby
con{lictHappinessisneverexperiencedtbrougbilIfeeling.Peaceisneveracbievedbyaccun]ulatingn]ore
wealtborgainingworldlypowcrPeaceisgainedby
lettinggoo{oursel{isbnessandbelpingtbeworld
withactso{lovePeaceintbeheartconquersal}
opposing{orces.Italsobelpsusn]aintainabealtby
n]indandIivearichand{ul{iIlinglifeo{}Iappinessand
contentn]ent.

I5
MORATY:THSANCTTY
ANDDIGNxTYOrIFE

Oseu!goJePgCetoPo
teoooeoeOJoe

gtoeS.

Mo;

isthebIoodofIi{e,thensureIyrnoralityisitsbackbone.V/ithoutvirtueli{eisindangerbutwitbout
loveIifeisdeadTbequalityo{Iifeisenhancedwitb
tbecultivationo{virtue,andwhenvirtuearisestbe

vesselofIoveoverfIows.Sincen]anisin]per{ectby
nature,behastoIakeane{{orttodeveIopvirtue.
Tbecultivationo{Inoralityisaveryln]portant

MORALlTY:THESANCTlTYANDDlGNITYOFLlPE153

aspectoflifeManypeoplebavean]istakenideaof
wbatn]oralityis.Totben]itn]eanstbeadoption
ofexternaln]odesofbebavioursucbasdressing,
etiquette,artificialand}Iypocriticaln]anners.Tbey
{orgettbatsucbiInitativeandconventionaln]oralityis
n]an-n]ade,conditionedbysocietyandis,therefore,
subiecttovariationandliabletobecon1eoutofdate.
Tbedressingsuitable{oroneclin]ateperiodorcivilisationn]aybeoutofplace,orevenindecentin
anotberclin]ateorera.Adresscodeisentirelyaquestionofcuston],andnotadeepn]oralissue.Tbe
problen]bereariseswbenconventionisconfusedwit}]
validanduncbanginguniversalprinciples.
Languagedoesn]alKeadif{erenceinourtbought

andactionsbutitisnotallthatdetern1inesourperception.Pood,drinksandreligiousvaluesallactas
perceptualfilters;evenonessituationalvaluesare
barrierstotrutbfulcognition
Pron]t}]esedistinctivetraditions,problen]sand
aspirations,onesetofpeoplebaveatendencyto
believetbatonlytbeirviewsarerealandthatevery
rigbtthinkingpersonisexpectedtorespecttlIeirviews
astheydo.T}Iiskindofegoisticideaisveryunhealtby.TbernaindeterIninantsofperceptionand
beliefsarepastexperience,currentneedsandfuture
expectatlons.

W/batisrnorality>Itistbestandardsandprinciples
ofgoodbehaviourinaccordancewitbthepatbof
rigbteousness.ThePaliwordforitisS//bJItn]eans:

sel{discipline{ornIoraIdeveloprnent.Itirnpliesa

15HOWTOLlVEWTHOUTPEARWORRY

personaldisciplinedevelopedfron]witbinandnot

arising{roIntbe{earo{punishInent.Itisactingout
opurenotivesoutoflove,non-attacbnentand
wisdon],whicharestrengtbenedwitbanunderstandingoftheiIlusorynatureo{se>f,andego.
TbereisasayingintheMalayIanguage:KEs
geJe.,ItneansReg
CbotegZie

=P

WeSoc71ztGsteclGDuringbisyounger
days,Socratesvisitedabrothelandasbewascon]ing
outo{itbesaw}IisteacherpassingbyTbeyoung
Ianwasen]barrassedandtriedtosneakawaybuttbe
teacberaccostedbirnandaskedwbybewastryingto
avoidhiInSocratesrepliedtbathewasasban]edo{
wbatbebaddone.Histeacberadvisedbin],You

sbouldhavebeenasban]edo{youractionsbe{oreyou
enteredtbebouseo{illrepute.Thenyouwouldhave
avoideddoingthedeedwbichyouarenowashaIed
o{.

DP

PD

0P

VCeSeiWetoMte
eeJeeeJtO
GooJettoc?e
eJtOZe.
BtJEewtOCe
COUe.

M0RALlTY:THESANCTlTYANDDlGNlTYOFLlE155

Moralityistbe{irststepintbepatbtowardseternaI
bliss.Itistbebasicspiritual{oundation.V/itbouttbis
base,therecanbenobunIanprogressandspiritual
advancen]ent.Evenworseisapersonwitboutvirtue
forbenotonlyendangersbin]sel{butalsoothers
aroundbin>Afterestablisbingtben]oral{oundation,
apersoncanproceedtodevelophisn]indandwisdon].
Thispracticewillleadbin]{roIntbelowerlevelto
theprogressivelybigherlevelsofInenta}developn]ent,and{inally,tothesun]n]ito{allattainn]entsEnligbtenn]ent.
MereIearningiso{noavailwitboutactualpractice.
AccordingtotbeBuddba,eeMzMooe5
otJeDsecoooe
oscet.Tbereisagreatneedortheteacbingo
virtuebypreceptsandexan>pIes,assbownbytbe
Masterbin]selfwboservedhunIanitywithgreatcon]passion.Tben]oralandpbilosopbicalteacbingsoftbe
Buddbaaretobestudiedandpractised,andaboveall,
toberealisedTbere{oren]erebookknowledge
witboutcon]n]onsenseandunderstandingiso{nouse
toovercon]eourproblen]s

q<

p0

p0

DooMecoeueMo!yooTberewas
oncean]anwboforrnedareligiouscultandpeople
regardedbin]asaverylearnedperson.Hebadafew
{ollowerswborecordedhisinstructionsinabook

Overtbeyearstbebookbecan]evolun]inouswitball

156HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

sortsofinstructionsrecordedtherein.Tbefollowers

wereadvisednottodoanytbingwitboutfirstconsultingthel1olybookW/hereverthefollowerswent
andw}Iatevertbeydid,theyWouldconsultthebook
whicbservedasthen]anualinguidingtl1eirlives.One

daywbentheleaderwascrossingatirnberbridge,he
fellintot}Ieriver.Tbefollowerswerewithhin>but
noneo{t}Iernknewwbattodounderthecircurn-

stances.Sotbeyconsultedthebook

Help!Help!theMastershouted,IcantswiIn
PleasewaitawbileMaster.Pleasedontget
drowned,theypleaded.W/earestillsearchinginour
bolybookTheren1ustbeaninstructiononwbatto
doifyoufellofffroInawoodenbridgeintoariver.

W/biletbeyweretbusturningoverthepagesoftbe
holybookinordertofiIldouttbeappropriateinstruction,theteacherdisappearedintbewateranddrowned.
:

Tl]ein]portantn]essageoftbestoryistlIatwe
sbouldtaketbeenligbtenedapproacbandnotslavisbly
followoutdatedconservativeideas,norresorttoany
bolybookwithoutusingourcon]n]onsense.Onthe
faceofchangingcircurnstances,newdiscoveiesand
knowledge,wen]ustlearntoadaptourselvesaccord-

inglyandrespondtotben]byusingtben1forthe
benefitofeverybody.

MORALlTY:THESANCTITYANDDlGNlTYOPLlPE15>

Mora>ConductandYoutl>
Itisoftensaidthatthereisadeclineintbestandardo{

n]oralityanddisciplineaIongsttheyoutbstoday.
Tbiscertainlydoesnotapplytoallyoutbs,butthere
aren]anywbon]aybeconfusedandrebellious.Tbeir
bebaviourandbabitsviolatepublicpeacewbereby
innocentpeace-lovingpeoplebavetoundergogreat
hun]iliationandsuffering.
Inaway,parentsaretobeblan]edfortbebad
bebaviourandlackofconsiderationont}Ieparto{
tbeircbildren.Tbeirpern]issiveness,encouragedby
n]odernpsycbologists,havegiventoon]uchfreedon]
totheircbildrentodoastbey}ike.Tbisiso{ten
coupledwithtbefactt}Iatparentsaretben]selvestoo
busylookingaftertbeirownn]aterialisticneedstbat
theyneglectt}Ieirchildren.Topreventn]oraldecadenceinsociety,parentslIavetbeiIportantdutyto
nurtureandguidetbeircl1ildrenaccordingtoreligious
andspiritualteac}Iingsfoundintbegreatworldrelig1ons.

Intheteacbingofetbicsandn]orality,religious
labelsarenotin]portant.Everyreligionbasitsown
n]oralcodedesignedtoregulatel]un]anconductso
tbatpeoplecanlivetogetberascivilizedburnan
beings.Togethert}]eycancontributetotheircon]rnunitiesw}]icl>offern]utua>respectprotection,solidarityandn]oralsupportItisveryunfortunate,if
religionistscreatediscrinIinations,hostilityand
]ealousytowardstbeotherreligiousgroups.

>58HOWTOLIEW<THOUTPEAR&WORRY

BeingGoodorDoingGood?
Inhisbook,BuddbistEtbics,Ven.Dr.HSaddha-

tissasaid,Genera}lyspeaking,tberearetwoideasof
n}orality:(i)tobegood,and(ii)todogood.Tbefirst
istherealn]orality,wbereasthesecondn]aybeonly
arneanstoanend.Onecanbegoodinordertodo
good,buttbisisrare.Peopledogoodactionswbicb
appearentirelyaItruisticyet{undan]entallyare
egoistic,n]otivatedbyacquisitiveness,desirefor
n]erit,bliss,beaven,rewardorn]otivatedby{earof
resultingpunishn]entorbell.Allso-calledgood,,
actionsareinspiredbyselfisbnessandtotbeBuddbist
tbeideao{being,,goodistheonlytruen]orality
Thepersonwhoadn]itstbeeviIdeedscoIn]itted
bybirnisatleastbettertbantbepersonwbotriesto
iusti{yhiseviIdeeds,andwbodeniesandpretends
tbatbeisinnocent.Sbakespeareexpressestbisbeauti{ulIywbenLadyMacbetburgesherbusbandbe{ore
bekilIstbekingtoeeteoceroeM,e
eseetetApersonwboisopenlyevilcan
atleastbeavoided,butthebypocritesevilintentions
arenotseenuntilitistoo}ate.

V/batsballitpro{itan]an,thoughbebericb,
{ortunateandenioyinga}Itberewardso{tbepastgood
kan]n]a,wbenheisnotvirtuous,cbaritab}eandbene-

volentintbispresentli{e?Heislikean]anwbolives
onbiscapital,constantlydrawing{ron]bisbank
accounto{goodkan]n]abutwitboutrep}enisbingit
Wbenitisallexbausted,bewilIproceedtobis{uture

MORALlTY:THESANCTlTYANDDlGNlTY0PLlFE159

existenceasaspiritualpauperI/bon]sbouldbe
blan]eforbisrniserablecondition-godor{ate?
Neitber:be}]ason}ybin]selftobeblanIed.
IntbebuIansituation,theagonyofchoosing
wbichactiontoperforn],wbetbergoodorbad,isperpetuallywithusInsucbcircuInstances,weshould
knowtbeternIsunderwhicbourcboiceistoben]ade.

Assurelyaswaterseeksitsownlevel,sodoeskan]n]a
Giventberigbtconditions,kanIIawillproduceits
inevitableresultswhicharenottoberegardedas
rewardorpunis}I]ent,butonlyasnaturalcourseo{
events.Totbeweak-willed,tbeknowledgeo{tbe
workingso{kaInIaservesasadeterrenttowards
doingevil,wbiletothespirituaIyadvanceditencouragesbin]todogood
Tbepbilosopber,Santayana,pointedouttbatte
getesMCiwMMeOtJOgte
coceeegooiJtecocM,ee
googoobenstillyoung,wedonotrealise
tbatonedesirecanbequiteinconsistentwitbanotber
Ayoungboyrnaybesitatebetweenadozendifferent
pIans{ortbe{uture,butan]aturenIanwillbaveto
renouncen>anycareersinorderto{ul{illoneduty.
Tbesarneappliestoemotions.I/bilewecanunderstandtbeado}escentwbotransfers}]islove-interest

frornoneobiecto{a{{ectiontoanother)itisrnockery
wbenagrownn]anstillacts}ikeanadolescent.Tbe
n]anwhowearstheyoutb,scarefreeclotbingandt}Ie
won]anwbocostun]esberen]otionsindoll,sdresses

arepatbetic{igures.Theybaveyetto}earnthathun]an

16HOwTOLIEwITHOUrFEAR&WORRY

growthrequirestbeclosingofn1anydoorsbeforeone
greatdoorcanbeopenedthedoorofnaturelove
andwbolesonIeachieven1ents

Aristotlesaid:eeteJOog
DoOM,MebesJMtOUeOe
toouoItisoftenconsideredanarlKof
superioritytoconferkindnessbutoneofinferiority
toreceiveit.InBuddbisIn,bowever,tbegivingand
receivingofkindnessshouldbedonewithequanirnity
witbouttbefeelingo{superiorityorin{eriority,
withoutulteriormotives,andwitboutbopesofn]aterialorspiritualreward.Intbisway,then>otivation
fortbeactionisutterlypure,untaintedbyeventbe
sligbtestsenseofselfisbness.
ChangingOnesCharacterThroughRe>igion

Atreeisknownbyitsfruit.Sin]ilarly,atruereligion
n]ustproducepern]anentresults.IntlIissense,itis
quiterigbttoiudgeareligionbyitsresults.
W/henapersonbasen>bracedareligion,tbeteachingssbouldhelptoiIprovehisbehaviour.Butifbe
continuestobeiustasgreedy,spiteful,andenviousas
before,ifbecbeatst}]osewboworlKforbin]orrobs

hisneigbbour,ifbesl1owsnocornpassionforsufferingfellowbeings,orattheslightestprovocation
beplungesaknifeintothebosonofanothertben
tbeseteacbingsareineffectiveasfarasheisconcerned.
Merebelief,enIotionalfeelingorglorificationof
aperson,sownreligionrneannotbingunless}Ie

MORALITY:THESANCTlTYANDDlGNlTYOPLlPE16>

in]provesbisbebaviourandactswitbgentlenessThis
n]aybelikenedtoanillnessinwbicbapersonn]aybe
(feelingbetter,butisnotreal}ysosincetbethern]on]etersbowst}]at}]isten]peratureisstillrising.
Areligionw}Iicbenablesustounderstandbetter
tbenatureoflifecanenableustoacceptthevarious
forn]sofbappinessasitarisesduringthevarious
pbasesofourlife.I/esbouldbeabletowelcon]etben]
wbentbeycon]e,andtolettbeIgowitboutregret
w}Ientbeyaregone.Tbisfactisproc}ain]edby
V/illian]B!akewhenbewrote:

eotCeleOte,

LUeeUsse.

Thepracticeofareligionenablesonetoundergo
spiritualtransforn]ationwhicbarisesfron]witbin,
ratherthanfron]without.Itisnotexternalappearance
thatn]akesapersonnoble,butinternalpurification
andanexernplarylifeRank,castecolourandeven
wealtbandpowerdonotnecessarilyn]akeagentlen]anOnlycbaractern]akesapersongreatandwortby
o{bonour.

YOeCeCOteOOe

O0OeeCOte.
YOeCOreoO
oOcOeCote.
Moralitys}>ouldnotbetakentoappIyon>yata
personalIevel,buttobepractisedbyalln]en]berso{

16zHOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

society.Portberetobepeaceinsociety,itsrnenIbers
nIustnotcutspiritua}corners.Apersonrnaytbink
tbatbecangetawaywitbtheperforIanceofevil
deedsHenIayevenbeteIptedtoadopttbebad
n1oralvaluesglorifiedonTV.Butnobodycanescape
tbeconsequencesofhisevildeeds,andnosocietycan
bepeacefulaslongastherearesucbpeoplearound.

Inaddition,fortberetobepeaceandbappinessin
asociety,peopleinpositionsofpowersbouldupbold
n]oralprinciplessincetbeiractionsbaveprofound
e{fectsontbosewboarebelowtbenI.TbeBuddha
said:

WeteecotUMtgoo,e
!stejecoeMgoo.WeteJ
teeMgooecSeCoe

tgoo.WeecMet
gooteMeeCoetgoo.
WeeMeetgooeeOPe
eCoetgoo.,

I6
YOUMAKEYOURLUCK
ANDDISTINY

eOtCJ
YCeJs.
LeJc,sOJt
WteesCleUe.

BCtMWJSOc

B::!:c

standingofthelawo{kaIIna,worldlyconditionsand
thenatureo{pbenon]enatbatpeopleattributesudden
wind{alltogoodluckanddown{aIltobadluckTbe
Buddbataughtustbatgoode{{ects,thatistosaygood

16HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

results,con]e{ron]goodcauses,andbadresultsfrorn
badcausesinaccordancewit}1tbelawofkan1nIa.

W/benapersonfacestbebadeffectsofbisevildeeds
perforn]edduringbispresentorpastlives,besbould
notblanIeitonbisbadluckInsteaditwouldbeIore

correctforbin]tosaytbatbeisexperiencingthe
ef{ectsofbisbadkaIIna.Anyonewhounderstands
tbelawofkanI]awillnotn]aketbeInistakeof

believinginluckbecause}Ieknowstbatwbatever
bappenstobin]istheresultofacauseorcauses
brougbtaboutbynegativetbinkingandirnnIoralacts
perforn]edbybinIintbepast.Tbisway,hecan
understandtbatbeisresponsibleforhisown}Iappinessorunbappinessbasedonbowwellorbowbadly
heleadshislife.TbereisnosucbtbingasluckTbe
choiceisuptous.
Don,tBlan>etheStars

Althought}IeBuddhabasnotdeniedtbeinfluenceof
certainstarsandplanetsonpeople,weak-hearted
peoplegenerallysuccun1btowbattbeyt}1inkaretbe
influencesofsucbstarsandplanets.Tbeirin]agination
andfearwillonlytendtoaggravatethealreadytense

situationcreatingfrustrationanddistress.Butall
tbosewitbstrongwill-power,courage,intelligence
andself-con{idencecansucceedintbeircareersand

overcon]edif{icultieswitboutbeingenslavedbysuch
influences.LucIKandskilfulnessarecloselyrelated.It

allgoesbackagaintotbepoweroftben1ind,tbe
potentialofwbicheveryindividualcandevelop.

YOUMAKEYOURLUCKANDDESTlNY165

Mansbouldnotsurrender}Iin]selfandgiveupbis
struggleagainstrnisfortuneonthepretexttbathedoes
notbavegoodluckNorsbouldbeallowbin1sel{to
fallvictin]tosucbbelie{swbicbwouldonlybinderbis
ownn]aterialandspiritualprogress.Evenifbiscareer
isafailureduetohisbadlKan]Ina,hecanovercon]eor

atleastn]ininIiseitsbadeffectsbyn1aintaininga
bealthyIindanddoingn]oregood.Hecandogood
inn>anywaysinkindorbydeedwitbouthavingto
spendn]oney.Hecan,forinstance,perforn]n]eritoriousdeedsbypractisingtolerance,patience,goodwillandunderstanding.
AccordingtoBuddhisnI,e{fortisthen]ostin]portantconditionbywhicbonecann1odifytbeunfolding
ofonesbadkan]Ia.Bye{fortrnadetoday,aperson
cancreate{res}]kan]n]a,andchangebisenvironnIent
andcircunIstances.Itisalwayspossibleforoneto
change}Iisownkan]n1aIfbisfailureisduetobisown
inefficiency,inexperienceorlaziness,ben]usttryto
inIprovebin]selfandlearnhowtoovercon]ehisfailure
witboutblan]ingthestars,devilsorspirits.Anunderstandingofbisownnatureandanadn]issionofhis
ownweaknessestobin]selfistbefirststeptowards
reforn]inghirnself
DestinyisinYourHands

Tbereisnosucbtbingasinevitablefateorirrevocable
destinyaccordingtotbeteachingsoft}IeBuddba.If
weexanIineourownexperiencesandthoseofothers,

166HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

wewillrealisetbattbeunbappinessand suffering
experiencedtodayaretheresultsoffaults tbatbad
beenconIn]ittedyesterday.

p=b

bgUeeKalidasawasaanousSansMt
poetwholivedinIndiaduringtbetbirdcenturyA.D
Asayoungboy,bewaspoorandlivedwitbbis
Inotberinasn]aIlbut{acingtheking,spalace.W/itbin
tbepalacewallswasalargeorcbardo{n]angotrees.
Duringtbefruitseason,thetreeswereheavywitb
sweet,deliciousn]angoes.W/}]ennoonewaswatcbing,Kalidasawou>dclin1bovertbewallsandbelp
hiInsel{totbeInangoes.
OnedaywhenKalidasawasstealingtben]angoes,
bedidnotrealisethatthekingwaswatcbingbin]fron]
tbepalacewindow.Tbatn]orning,whiletbekingwas
peelingan]ango,beaccidentallycutbishandSince
tbecutdrewalotofbloodtbelKingsuIIonedbis
V/iseIenandfortunetellerstotell}Iin>thesignificanceofthataccident.

TbeV/isen]entbougbtforawbileandaslKedtbe
kingifbesawanythingunusualtbatn]orningTbe
lKingrepliedtbatbesawaboystealingson]en]angoes
{roIthepalaceground.Ob!wbatyourn]aiestysaw

wasveryinauspicious.Tbatboywillbringyoubad
luck,saidtheWiseIen.Itisgoodifyournlaiesty
couldgetrido{}Iin]inIIediately,
TbekingorderedtbatKalidasabebrougbtbefore
biInAstbepoortren]blingboystoodbeforetbe

YOUMAMOURLUCKANDDESTlNY16

king,hewastoIdthattbekinghadseenhin]stealing
tben]angoesandtbisbadbrougbttbekingbad}uck
Hewasaskedifbehadanythingtosaybeforebewas
taIKenaway{orexecution.
I,n]verysorryforbringingyoubad>uck,Your
Maiesty,saidKalidasa.ButitisreasonabletoaIso
punisbaccordinglytbepersonwbosawn]et}]is
n]orningbecauseasyoucanseebehasbrougbtn]e
badlucktoo.,Tbatreplysurprisedtbekingasbe
realisedtbatbewasa{ooltohavelistenedtotbe

{ortunetellerswbocalledtben]se}vesI/iseIen.Bcing
in]pressedwitbKalidasa,tbekingadoptedhin]asbis
son.ItwasintbepalacetbatKalidasadevelopedbis
literaryskiIlsandIateren]ergedasa{an]ouspoetin
India.
G

<

ManisnotanIerepawnonacbessboardofuniver-

sa}{orcesoverwhicbbebasnocontroI.Hisdestiny
isson]etbingentireIyseI{-createdandseIf-earned,
wbetberitis{orgoodor{orevilMancreatesbisown
destinybybisownthougbts,wordsanddeeds,andbe
getsback{ron]li{esoonerorlaterwbatbebin]selfhas
giventoli{e.Pron]theconsequenceso{hisdeedsthere
isnoescape.Hence,Inanbin]seI{istbcbuildero{bis
ownlife,tbecreatoro{bis{ate,nowandintbe{uture.

Thelawo{kan]n]awbichshapestheoutcon]eo{
one,sdestinybasnosenseofretribution.Thereisno
n]otiveo{punisbn]entintbatgreatuniversal{orce.
Natureisin]partialItcannotbe{latterednordoesit

168HOWTOLlVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

grantspecialfavoursuponrequest.W/bensuitable

conditionsarise,tbedeedswbicbwebaveplantedwill
bearresults.Tberefore,intbefaceofcalan>ities,no

goodisgainedbycryingoutagainsttbebeavensW/e
n]ustlearntounderstandtbenatureo{worldlyconditionswbicbaren1arkedwit}1uncertaintyandbeartbe
seen1inglyuniustsufferingwitbacaln]Iind.
TbeeffectofkaIIaononesdestinywillnotbe
uncbanging.Tberefore,theconceptofeternalsufferingoreverlastingbeavenlyblissisalientoBuddhisn>.
Allstatesofbeingintbecycleofbirtbanddeath
(SaIsara)arein]pernIanent.Onlywbenoneisfreed
{roInrelativeexistenceinSan1saraandbasattained
Nibbanacaneternalblissberealised

Theprocessofcu>tivatingspiritualn]aturity
encon]passesself-trainingandn>oraldiscipline,n]entaIpurification,andleadingarigbteouswayofli{e,
filledwithloving-kindness,barn]onyandselfless
service.Variousreligionsgivedifferentinterpretations
ofhowsalvationfroIsu{{eringispossible.Intbecase
ofBuddbisn],apersoncanbeliberatedbylivingin
accordancewithtbeuniversaln>orallawsandbypuri{yingbisn]ind.Hecantberebysbapebisowndestiny
witboutbecon]ingover-dependentonforcesexternal
tobin]self.

Asburnanbeings,wen>ustnotwasteourbun]an
existencebygrievingovertbepastorpassingourtiIe
inidlenessandheedlessnessTbiswaywewillonly
squanderawaytheopportunitytorealisethereal
purposeofourli{eandretardourprogresstowards

YOUMAKEYOURLUCKANDDESTlNY169

conIpleteliberationfron]sufferingV/en1uststrongly
beartbisinn]ind,anddogoodwhilelifelasts.By
wastingourtin>e,notonlywillweIisleadotbers,but
wealsornissthegoldenopportunitytoachieveson]ethinginourvaluablebuIanlife.
Thereisnotbinglikedestinyotbertbantbeeffect
ofourpreviousefforts.Ourpreviouseffortsarecalled
ourdestinyOurachieven]entsaredeterrninedby
ourefforts.Oure{fortisthereforeourdestiny.Our
previousandpresentefforts,incasetheyareincontrarydirections,areliketworaIsfigbtingagainst
eachotberTben]orepowerfuloft}]etwoalways
overthrowingtheother.W/betbertheyarethepast
orpresentefforts,itistbestrongeronestbatdeternIineourdestinyIneitbercase,itisnIansowneffort
wbicbdeternIinesbisdestinybyvirtueofitsstrengtb
Mandetern]inesbisowndestinybyhisown
tbougbtHecann]akethosethingsalsohappenwbich
werenotdestinedtobappenOnlytbosethings
bappeninthisworldwbicbbecreatestbroughbis
ownfreeeffortsandnototbers.Oneshou>dthere-

foreovercoIneonesun{avourabledestiny(tbeeffect
o{one,spaste{{ort)bytbegreatere{fortintbepresentTbereisnotbingintbisworldwbichcannotbe
acbievedbyn]entbrougbtberigbtsortso{ef{ort.

EzeUglsM,eUoMueUoeJee.
,

Cb4

PART

TCHNIQUESFORHAPPYAND
SUCCESSFULIVING


SACRIHCINGFOROTHIRS,
WLFARE

GerPeoPeegteoeS
OOJtOJgoOM

D;;g:

theirlives.Toan]iser,hisn]oneylsn]oreln>portant
ToawealthyIan,hisli{eisn]oreimportant.Andto
agreatn]an,hisprincipIesare{arn]orelIportanttban
}Iisn]oneyorIi{e.Butsuchgreatpeoplearerareand
on>ya}Iand{ulcanbecountedTbatiswbyweregard
tben]asgreatpeopIe.Sornetin]es{oradheringto
tbeirprincipIesandre{usingtosurrenderunderany
clrcurnstances,tbeyarepersecutedbytbeir{ellow-

l7HOwTOlEWlTHOUTPEARWORRY

n]en.Socrateswaspoisoned>esuscruci{ied,and
Gandbiassassinated.

Tru}ygreatpeoplebaveonetbingincon]n]on,that
is,tbeyusetbeirresources-wisdon],syn]patby,
powerenergy,knowIedge-{ortbegoodandbene{it
o{n]ankind.TheyunderstandtbatitisnotpossibIeto
dotbebigbestgoodtotheIselveswitboutalsodoing
ittootbersaswelI.TbeBuddbasaidtbatonesbouId

{irstestabIisbonesel{inwhatisproper,theninstruct
otbers.SucbawisepersonwilInotbeconIeren]orse{ul
Apersonn]aybeveryintelligent,buti{heabusesit
{orbisownsel{ishdesires,tben{ron]theBuddhist

standpointbeisconsideredtohavenegIectedbin]sel{
badly.SucbanattitudewilIbringbin>nogoodAlbert
Schweitzer,tbeNobeIPrizewinner,said:eoO
oogoetetoJeo
tjesogotoJeu
RutbSn]e>tzerwrites:

sOeeejsse
Oeote;

BteeJteeee

sZMtotieOteUeO

ManypeopIetbinktbatrnakingsacrificesn]eans
givingrnoretbantbeyarepreparedtogiveActually,
thisisnotthecasesinceeverytbingdependsonone,s
perceptiono{valuesandtbedegreeofunselfishness
onebasdeveIopedApersonwbobaspersonalneeds
regardstben]asbeingsecondarywhen}Ieperceives

SACRClNCOOTHESWLAR!5

tbattbeneedsofotbersaren]oreurgent.Tbereisa
truestorytoiIIustratetbispoint.

00 p0 r
=

00

Coo5ooegoeOncetberewasa
doctorwho{oundeda{reeclinicwhicbopenedoncea
weektoattendtopoorpatients.Ononesucbday,
son]eonerusbedintotbeclinicwitbtbenewstbatthe

doctor,syoungestand{avouritesonhadiustdied.
AIthougbdeepIyupset,tbedoctorreflectedonthe
situation,anda{terhavingregainedbiscon]posure,
continuedtoattendtobispatients.
Peoplewbocan]etoknowabouttbis,wereratber
surprisedatbisseen]inglycalIousbebaviour.I/hen
questioned,heexplainedthus:Mysonisalready
deadandIan]unabletoassist}]in]anyn]ore.But
tbesepoorneedypatientswbocan,tevena{{ordto
pay{ortbeirtreatn]entneedn]yheIpn]ore.IknowI
candoson]etbing{ortben].Soisitnotbetter{orn]e
tocontroIn]ysorrowandbelpsu{{eringn]ankind
instead?
0

==

DoggoorooeJjJor.rJucgc
tgUeJeeCgrOeeC
CJJ.

ZOC.

KindnesstoAIlBeings
O{tenpeopIehavetbougbtIessIy,andson]etimeseven

l>6HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

deliberately,aggravatedtbediscon>fortandsuffering
o{otbers.Itistbeunculturedn>entalityinn>antbat
takesdeligbtinthepainandagonyo{otbers.I{tbey
then]selvesdonotliketobeburt,wbatrigbthavetbey
toinflictpainonotIers?TheBuddbasays,He
OZjeJeweoe.
TreatotbersasyouwouldliketobetreatedTbis
goldenruleisendorsedbyallreligiousteacbers.Yet,
peoplehaveoftendisregardedtbefacttbatlifeisdear
toeverylivingbeing,andastestiIonytdthiscallousnessinhun]anbehaviourwecanturntotbebistoryof
n]ankindwbicbis{illedwitbrnassacres,bloods}Ied

andtortureW/ebaveseenthatforsoInekilling}Ias
evenbecon]ea}]obbyorapastiIe.Suc}]sub-buIan
bebaviourbassoakedn]an,spastwithblood.Portbis
reason,son]epeoplehaveregardedtbeHistoryo{
MankindastheHistoryo{InsanityandInbun]anity.
WeMOOMOtOOteJteOOtM

oetooJetes.Thisisanoldsayingbutitisstill
relevanttoday.Intbesan]ebreatbwealsoadd:We

JOOOOtle5JeOtesOtO.

Thesesayingssbouldbepractisedtoovercon]etbe
generallyselfishandself-centerednatureofIenwho
areonlyinterestedintben]selvesandbavenotiIe{or
otbers.

Coceteoeo0tyTherearesonedo

goodersint}IisworldwbobusytheInseIveswithotber

SACRlFlClNGPOROTHERSWELFARE

peoplesa{fairsandtbengetthenIselvesintotrouble
intbeprocessHaveyouheardoftbestoryoftbe
donkeywbicbtriedtodotbedogsiob?Well,once
tberewasaIanwboownedadogandadonlKey.One
nigbtthedogkeptbisn>asterawakewitbitsconstant
}IowlingandtbenIasterwassoannoyedtbathebeat
uptbedog.NowtbedogwasinsoInucbpaint}Iatit
spenttbewboleoftbefollowingdayandnigbtsulking
inacorner.Asluckwouldbaveit,tbatverynig}It
son]etbievesenteredthehouse,buttbedogdisregardeditsdutyandkeptsilent.Tbedonkeywas
outside,watcbingalltbatwasgoingonHesaidto

bin]sel{,Look,n]yn]asterisasleep,t}]etbievesare
robbingbin]andtbedogisnotdoingitsduty.Irnust
takeovertbedogsdutiesin]n]ediatelyandbeginto
brayasloudlyasIcan.,Tbedonkeydidtbiswitba
goodintentionthougbitwasnotitsduty.TbeInaster
wokeup{ronIbissleep,andsbouted,V/hatist}Iis?
Lastnigbtitwastbedog,nowitistbisstupiddonkey.
Sosayingbegotouto{bisbed,inarage,grabbedtbe
wbipandlasbedthedonkey,causingitseverepain
T}IedonkeysoonrealiseditslessonandlaIented,
Ah!thosewbotrytoper{orItbedutiesofotbers
withoutbeingtoldtodosowillsurelygettbernseIves
agoodwbipping.

-P

-P0

TheSpiritofBenevo>ence

Li{eisprecioustoaIivingbeings.AlIbeingssbrink

l8HOWTOLIVEWTHOUTPEARWORRY

witbfearatt}]en]eretboug}Itofbeingdeprivedo{
tbeirlives.Aswedonotwisbfordeath,otberbeings
alsodonotwisbforitAswearefrightenedattbe
n]eretbougbto{deat}],soareotberbeingsTberefore,
wesbouldnotkillnorcausetokillanylivingbeing,
boweversn]a}lorinsignificant.V/eIustopenupthe
storehouseofvirtuewitbinusto{eel{ortbosewbo

arelessfortunatetbanourselvesandtryto}]e}ptben].
Buddbisn]teacbesusnottoburtorkillanybeing
intentionally.Itencouragesustoloveandprotectall
beingsI{everyoneinoursocietycanlearntobe
benevolentandgrate{ul,orbereadytoreciprocate,
eveninasnIallway,theIKindnesssbowntoeacb
person,thenbun]ansocietywillbecon]en]orepeaceful
andpleasanttolivewithHun]anrelationship,likethe
Iawofactionandreaction,isatwo-waytraffic.W/ben
Ioveandn]utualrespectispractisedinprivateas
welIasinpubIicli{e,clashesorn]isunderstandings
tbatupsetgoodwillandgoodre}ationsbipswillbe
eIiIinated

I/esbouldalwaysstrivetobelpandserveotbers.
Atthesan]etiIe,weshouldnotneglecttbetraining
anddevelopnIentofourunderstandingsothatwecan
seetbingsastbeyareandnotwhattbeyappearto
be.ThiswewillbeabletodobyusingourconI]on
sense.V/henwearegoingto}Ielpotbers,itisvery
in]portantforustoknowwboorwbattbeyareand
tbeirattitude,inordertbatwecanbeIindfulto
handIethen]witbcare.

Bewareo{whoIyoubelp.Innocentpeoplernay

SACRClNCOROTHSWELPAl9

belptbewickedbuttbeysbouIddosowiselyotberwisetheyalso{aceprobIen]sandgetintotrouble.
AltbougheveryreIigionappreciatessucbservices,it
Inustbedonewitbunderstanding.
=

DP

DP

BeeUjiCeoes.Alnanoncesawatigercaught
inanet.TbetigerpIeadedwiththernantosethirn{ree
buttben]ansaid,No,youwilleatn]eifIsetyou
free.Butthetigerbegged,pleadedandpron]isedthe
n]antbatnotonlywouIdheleavebirna}one}Iewould
evenbebisprotectorforlife.Thefoolishn]anbelieved
tbetigerandren]ovedthenet.Needlesstosay,the
ungrate{u}tigerpouncedonhin]Then]anscrean]ed
infrigbtandt}Tisattractedtheattentionofa{oxwho
can]etoseewbattbeconI]otionwasalIabout.The

n]antoldtbe{oxbowbereleasedthetiger.T}Ietiger
boweverc}ain]edtbattben]andidnotdoveryrnuc}I
toreleasebirn.V/hiIetbeywerethusarguing,thefox
said,Heywait.Ian]allcon{used.I{youwantn]eto
settIetbisn]atter,In]ustknowbowitalIbegan.Now,
Iwanttoseewberetbetigerwaswbenyoucarne.
Tben]anbegantoexpIainbuttbe{oxsaid,IstilI
dontunderstand.Sbown]ehowthetigerwas
caugbt.,Tbe{ooIishtigerenteredthenetagainV/hen

bewassuretbebeastwasproper>ytrapped,tbe{ox
turnedtotbernanandsaid,Nowgoyourwayand
bewareofwickedoneswbon]akepron]isestbeynever
intendtokeep.,
q

=P

=P

`<

l8H0W0LVEWlTHOUTPARWORRY

TbeRealConqueror

Today,peoplearetryingtodon]inateeachot}]er
Peopleo{tenstrivehard{orn]oney,powerandpositionsothattheywillbavecontroloverotbersItwiIl
betoone,sbene{iti{wecouldon}yrealisethatitis
n]oreirnportanttofirstconqueronesel{.T}IeBuddha
saidthatsel{conquestisbettertbanworldconquest,
andrenunciationofworldIypleasuresisbettertban
accun]ulationofalltbericbesoftheworld.Everyone
sbouldIakeeverye{{orttoconquerone,sanger,
iealousypride,greedandothershortcon]ings
Courage,detern]inationandperseveranceareneeded
tocontrolandovercon]et}Iesedestructiveforces.
A{ewweeksbe{oreMabatn1aGandhidiedatthe

lnndso{anassassinsbullet,bebadavisitorwbo

wonderedhowMabatnaIicouldnarshalsonuch
couragethougbo{{raiIbodyandGandhihadsaidthat

courageisnotparto{t}Iepbysiquebutofthen]ind
OgOeJOCOeOtes
OetteeOCOeJO
,eegetqfeo
GmBC

I{wecanconquerourseIves,otherswilltrustand
respectus{orourvictory.TheBuddbaconquered
bin]seIffirstandthenheconqueredthewbolewor}d
withbislove,con]passionandwisdon].Tbus,beis
widelyrespectedbyBuddhistsandnon-Buddhists

SACRlFlC<NGFOROTHERS)WELFARE181

alike.Mann>ustunderstandtbatheistben]asterofhis

owndestiny.Hishappinessandsadnessareentirelyof
bisownn]akingTherefore,byunderstandingt}]is,
wen]ustadiustourselvesaccordinglytoleadrespectableandpeacefullives.Todothis,wen]ustseektbe
necessaryguidanceandinstructionsinarationalreligionwbicbcangiveusthelibertytotbink{reelyand
wbicbdoesnotresorttoanyforIofblind{aitb.
Mann]ustunderstandt}]att}]eresultshereapsarein
accordancewithbisdeeds.Ifbewallowsindestruc-

tiveen]otions,bewillplacebin]selfinconstant
dangerW/henbadtbougbtsariseinbisn]ind,hen]ust
actwiselybycontrollinghisn]ind.Throug}Ithecultivationof}]isn]ind,hewillspontaneouslyfindbappinessandpurposeinwholeson]edeeds,speechand
tbougbts.IntbebookBuddhistMeditation,VenerableDr.Vaiirananawrote:ettooe
CtjtOJCCeJOUeeeJJOt
ogetjgceo
otJtOeeee
ecegookzMetegClet
eeJJOeJe
Manislivinginaworldinfluencedbyrnanyforces.
Itisin]portantforhin]tounderstandthenatureof
worldlyconditionssoastoknowbowtoadjustbis
wayof}ife,eitbertofacetben]ortoovercon]et}]en].
Hewil}thenknowwberebisplaceinbun]ansociety
is,andbowtoliveinbarn]onywitbtbeuniversallaw
andotberlivingbeings.Iftbeworldiscbaoticitis
onlybecausen]anhasn>adeitso.Conversely,itis

l82HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

withintbepowerofrnantocbangethequalityoft}Ie
wholeatrnospberebygeneratingbenevolentthougbts
andactionswithski>lBysodoing,nIanwillnotonly
worktowardsbisownspiritualgrowth,butalsosbare
insbapingtbedestinyo{thew}loleworld{orthe
bene{ito{allbeings.
Hun>anValueS

TberulestodeveIopbun]anvaluesinBuddbisrnare
sin]ple.Onen]ustworkbardandbeconscientious.
Onen>ustnotwasteonestin]eunnecessarily,idling

awayanddoingnothingEvenregardingsleep,one
n]ustberationalbykeepingittothen]inin]un]necessaryforhealthOneshouldnotgivelan]eexcusestbat
eitberthedayistoobotortoocoldfortbeallotted
worktobedone.Beconstructiveandconscientiousin

wbateveryoudo.ItwasrecordedtbattheBuddba
HiIselfwastheIostenergeticandactivereligious
teacherwhobaseverlivedintbisworld.DuringHis
{orty{iveyearso{nobleserviceton]ankind,itwas
reputedthatHeonlysIept{oraperiodo{twohours
eachday.Hetravelledalloverthecountryadvising
peopIebowtoleadanoblewayoflife.

AogeotgooeogMgooMb
lsogeog
BF

18
GENTLESPECH

be/

gssCeqfge,
geeteoej
eteotCgeJ5t
WetOee

O;:I

tion.Ontbefirstdayallweresilent,andtben]editatlonwentonasscbeduled.Butwbennigbtcarne,tbe
oiI-lan]ptbeywereuslngranouto{oi}andstartedto
{Iicker.Aservantwasdozingo{{nearbyOneo{tben]
couldnotbeIpbutsaytotbeservant:ixtbeIaInp.

18HOWTOLEWlTHOUTPEARWORRY

Thesecond{riendwasborri{iedtobearthe{irstone

speaking.Husb,hesaid,W/earenotsupposedto
sayawordren]en]ber?
Botbo{youarestupid.W/hydidyoutalk?saidtbe
tbird.Veryso{tly,tbe{ourthn]uttered,Iwastbe
onIyonewhodidntsayanything.

D=

=P

ManbasbeenabIetoriseaboveanin]alsandbuild

greatciviIizationsandcon]p>exsocialsysteIsbecause
o{hisabiIitytocon]Iunicatethroughspeecband
writing.Noton}yisbeabletoconI>unicatewitb
conten]poraries)beisalsoabletosethisideasin
writingtocon]n]unicatewitb{uturegenerationslong
a{terbeisdead

InIodernsociety,con>n]unicationsplayacrucial
roIeinbun]anrelationsbips.Pron]birth,webavethe
inbornurgetotalkandconI]unicatewitht}Iosewe
con]eintocontactwitb.W/ellused,wordscanbelpus

agreatdeal.Buto{ten,wespeakhastilywitbout
tbinkingaboutwbatwearegoingtosay.Likethefour
{riendsinthestoryn]entionedearlier,quiteoften
wewisbwebadnotsaidsornet}Iingafteritbadbeen
utteredBythen,itistoolatesincewordsonce
spokencanneverbewitMrawn.W/en>ayapologise
andretracttben]buttbedan]ageisalreadydone.
Anotherwritersays,V/ordsarethedresso{
tbougbtswhicbshouldnonIorebepresentedinrags,
tattersanddirtthanyourpersonshould.,

GENTLESPEECH

185

W/rongSpeech

Itisapparenttbatan1ongstallIivingbeings,bun]ans
areknownastbebiggestliarsYoun>ustbavewitnessedtbetroubleandcon]Iotioncausedbywrong
speech,suchaslies,uniustspeecbcausticren]arks
gossip,andunfoundedrunIours
Son]epeoplecanescapeandsurviveanywbereafter
cbeatingotbersbecauseoftbeirtactfulandcunning
wayoftalkingwbileinnocentpeoplegetintotrouble
SopeopleInustassociatewitbtbenIwisely

<

0=b

WMZeetoeThereisanoldstory
aboutalionwbolongedtoeat}lisfavouritedelicacy,
buffaloIeat.Therewasintbe{orestjustsucba
buffalo,buttryasbeIigbt,bewasunabletocatcb
tbistastybeastSobedecidedtouse}Iiscunningtoget
wbat}IewantedHecalledhisassistant,afox,andsaid

tobin],Youknow,Ireallydontunderstandw}]ywe
liveinfearofeachotberPleasegoandtellthebuffalo
thatfron>nowonIbavedecidedtobecon]eavegetarianandinvitebirntosharen]ydenwitbbirn.,The
foxwenttotbebuffaloandconveyedtben>essage.
Thebuf{alowassuspiciousatfirst,butthefoxargued
t}Iattbelionwasreally}]arn]lessAfterallbadhe}]in]selfnotlivedwitbtbislionforalongtirne?Finallytbe
buffalowasconvinced.Hecan]eintot}Iecave,was

courteouslytreatedandtbusassured,belaydownto
sleepThelionwastednonIoretirne.Uponaflasbbe

l86HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

pouncedonthepoorbu{{aIoandkilledbiIwitbone
strokeNowtbelion,sfavouritewasbuffalobrainand

thoughbewasveryhungry,alltbewaiting}Iadtired
hin]Sobedecidedtotakearestandinstructedthe{ox

toguardthecarcasswbilebeslept.Ofcourse,now
the{oxalsocravedbuffalobrain,andsowhilebis

n]asterslept,heopeneduptheskull,andatetbedeliciousbrainTbussatis{iedbecleverlyreplacedthe
skulland,withaninnocentlookonbisfacewaited{or

hisn]astertoawake.Tbelionwokeupandeagerly
wenttoenioybisdeIicacybutgreatwashissurprise
andangerwhenheopenedtheheadandfoundit
eInpty.Puriously}IedeInandedanexplanationfron]
tbefoxwboreplied:Master,tbereasontheskullis
eIptyistlIattbisbuffalohadnobrainDoyout}Iink
ifitbadanybrainitcouldbave{al}enforyourtrick?

-P

=P

P0P

TheBuddbaspokeaboutthe{ourkindsofwrong
speechTbefirstislyingI/henapersongoestoa
courto{iustice,orisinthecon]panyofrelativesand
friends,bewouldsayIknowwhenhedoesnot,and
Idon,tknowwhenhedoesTosavehiInsel{,orfor

thesakeo{sonIesn]al>gain,bedeliberatelyutterslies
ThesecondisbackbitingW/benapersonwanders
bereortbere,hespreadsfalseboodaroundtocause
disruption.Hebreaksupfellowship,doesnotreconcilethoseatstrife,findspleasureanddeligbtin
quarrels,andutterswordstoinciteotherstoquarrel

CENTLESPCH

lB>

Tbethirdisharsbspeecb.Thewordsspokenare
insolentandrude,bitter{orotherstobear.Peoplc
alwaysaccuseotbers,even{orIninorn>istakesyet
keepquietwbentbelatterdoson]egooddeedsOne
writersays:WegooeueUogM
eIMeM,Oeees.
Tbe{ourthisidIebabbIing.Tbisspeecbisn]adebv
apersonspeakingouto{turnontbingsnon-existent
orirrelevant.Hisspeechisunrestrained,outo{place,
tbougbt}essanddoesnotbringanybene{itwbatsoever

Tbenexttin]ebeforewespeak,wen]usttbink
be{oreopeningourn]outl]s.Tbein}unctionTbink
be{oreyouspeakcanbeIpusavoidgettingintodisputesorarguInentsandavoidhurtingothersunnecessariIy.W/en]ustanalyseourtbougbtsandintentions
be{oreexpressingtbeI.I/en]ustnotonIyknowwbat
tosay,butaIsowby,wben,wbereandbowtosayit.
Awisen]anknowsbowtoavoidprobIen]sbybeing
care{uIaboutwbatbesays.Tbereisasayingtbateven
a{isbwiIInotgetcaugbtonabooki{beknowsbow
tokeepbisbigInouthsbutattherighttin]e.Thereis
a{abIetoillustratethistruth
D=

00

,exloco.Oncethercwasanoldlion
wbowasverybungrybutbewastooweaktogoout
buntingHoweverbebadanattendan[,a{ox,wbo
}IadservedbiI{orInanyyears.Nowtbelionwas

188HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

desperatelybungryanddecidedthattbeonlytbinghe
coulddowaseattbefox.But,beingtbekingofthe
beastshecouldnotverywelliustpounceontbefox,
sohedecidedtofindanexcusetokillbisfaitbful

attendant.Hecalledthefoxtobin]andsaid,Pox,I

anIgolngtoaskyouaquestionw1ichyoun1ust
answertrutbfully.IfyoudontgivetherightanswerI
willkillyouTellne,anIpleasantsnellingorfoul
sn]elling?Poxclearlysawtbetrap.I{besaidtbelion
wasfoulsn]ellingthelionwouldbeinsultedandkill
binI.IfbesaidtbelionwaspleasantsnIellinghe
wouldbecalledaliarandwouldgetkilledanyway.So
tbefoxtboughtcarefullyandreplied,Master,Ian]
afraidyouaskedthatquestionatawrongtin>e.You
see,IaInsufferingfron]averybadcoldandn]ynose
isblocked,soIreallycannottellhowyousn]ell.In
factIaIworriedt}]atIwillpassn]ycoldontoyou.
SooutofconcernforyourbealthIan]goingtoleave
youandgofarawayfron]you.
Tbewisen]anknowsbowtogethin]selfoutofa

trickysituationbysayingtberigbttbingattberigbt
tiIe.
:

AngrywordscanbefollowedbyblowsAperson
incontroloftbesituationwillnotbeeasilyprovoked

intoafigbtortoactunwisely.Alwaysren]eIbertbat
yourbattleislost,then]on]entyouloseyourbalance.
Indeed,itisveryrewardingtoobserveandseetbe
effectyoucangenerateonotbersbyrefusingtoallow

GENTLESPEECH

189

yourselftobeprovokedTbeywouldgetn]oreand
n]oreirritatedbecausetbeycannotn]akeyouangry,
andtbeywillrealisethatyouaretbewinner.Taketbe
opportunitytostudybuIannature.Howsillypeople
lookwbentheylosetbeirten]per.Sin]ilarlyyou
sbouldalsorealisebowsillyyoulookw}Ienyoulose
yourternper.

ActingW/iselyinTenseSituations

W/ecanavoidbeatedargun]entsbyactingwisely.
Son]etin]esasituationbecon]estensebecauseofcer-

tainthingssaidordonewhicbupsetpeople.Son]e
peopletakestrongpositionsinadiscussionbyraising
tbeirvoiceswhicbsoonleadstothequickeningo{
everyonesbeartbeat.Undersucbcircun]stances,we
shoulduseson]etacttotrytodi{fusetheexplosive
s1tuat1on

D-P

D=P

IotISeTbere
wasaten]peran]enta>oldn>an.Hisn]oodscbangedso
quicklytbat}]ewou}diokeandlaugbatonen]on]ent
andtbenexplodeinangeratanotberrnon]ent.Tbis
happenedveryoftenwbenbevisitedbisfriends

bousesornucbsotbatnIanypeopleweredisturbedby
bisbebaviourOneday,bisfriendren]arkedthat
n]aybetberewasson]ethingwrongwitb}]isn]ind.
V/benhebeardwbatwassaidabouthin],tbeold

n]anbecan]everyangryHeconfrontedhis{riendand

l9HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

deIandedV/bydidyousayIn]Iad?,Helooked
deadseriousandwasreadytostartaquarrel.
Tbefriendrealisedtbatbesbouldnotbaven]ade

theren]arlK,butwbatcouldhedonow?Sincehewas

areligiousn]anbedidnotliketobaveabeatedargun>ent.Veryquicklythe{riendanswered,V/ell,do
youknowthatI,nIalson]ad!
Surprised,tbeoldn]anaskedHowcanyousay
you,ren]ad?
V/ell,Iydearfriend,ifIInnotInad,howcanI
sayyoureInad?OnbearingtbiscleveranddiplonIaticreply,theoldn1anburstintolaughteranda
potentiallybigproblen]wastbussolved.
pP

DP

ItisdifficulttodiscovertbetrutbofaIatter

tbrougbargun1ents.Apersonwbopossessesoratoricalskillscanturn,twistandbidetbefactsforbisown

benefitandeasilydestroyanopponent,spointofview
bytalkingbiswayout,buthen]aynotcoIeany
closertotbetruthHeatedargurnentsneverbringany
goodresults.TbetruthwillnevereInergefroIbeated
argun]ents,orbyburtingtbefeelingsofotberswith
unlKindrernarks.Peoplew}Iogetinvolvedinheated
argurnentsusuallybecon]edefensiveandwillfindit
bardertorealisetbeirownn]istakesandforgetthe
originalissueinquestion.
Ontbeotberhandwhenson]ecunningpeople
realisetbattheycannoteitherdefendorhidetheir

GENTLESPEECH

19I

ownn]istakes,theywillnorn1allytrytoaccuse

tbeiropponentsbybringing{orwardcertainpersonal
weaknessesorsorneotherallegationsinorderto
diverttbeirattentionsotbattbeiropponentswill
forgettbeoriginalcbargesn]adeagainsttben>.
Ifwewishtoknowtbereal{acts,wenIusttbink

quietlyanddiscussourideaswithotberscaln]lyand
gently.W/henwespeakslowly,weareincontroIo{
ouren>otions.V/benweareprovokedorouren]otions
arearoused,wen]ustben]indfulsoasnottoaIow

ourselvestobecarriedawaybysucben]otionsandact
foolisblyandblindlyW/en]ustnotbedictatedtoby
ourangerorresentn>ent,tocon]n]itunwholeson]e

actsasaresulto{tbatprovocation.W/en]ustbein
absolutecontroloftbesituationandnotallowtbe
situationtakecontroloverus.Tbisistbeballn]arko{

apersonincontrolo{bin]sel{.Silentsenseisbetter

tbanfluentfolly.
Itisveryun{ortunatetbatcertainunculturedor
narrown>indedpeople,whenever{acedwithany
n]isunderstandingorargun1entusuallyinsulttbeotber
partiesbycallingt}]en]nan]esandbringing{orward
tbeirpersonalnIatterssuchasrace,casteandcolourin
disparagingtern]s.Tbisunpleasantandunbealtbyattitudecancreateenn]ityorbatredwhicbprevails

tbrougboutlifeandsuchanin]osityusuallyresultsin
violenceandbloodsbed.

BeMindfu>ofThoughts

Thosewboknowtbenatureo{n]entaIactivitiessay

192HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

tbatonceatbougbtisn]ade,wbetbergoodorbad,it
isperrnanentlyiIplantedwitbintbenIind.Itisgood
toponderontbisconceptandconsiderwbichideas
weshouldentertainbecauseoftbeeffectssucb

tbougbtshaveonus.

eogso
eOMleee
eeeeUeOPsOl

ArleMetOCe.

SotcleogZe,
AtgOOtje
BooCoeeigJ.
Tbewordsaboveechow}Iatt}IeBudd}1asaidmore

tban25Oyearsago:W/earewbatwethinkAllt}Iat
weareariseswitbourtbougbts.V/itbourtbougbts
wen]aketbeworld.Thetrutboft}Iisverseistin]e-

less:itistrutbw}Iet}Ierfortbepast,tbepresentor
tbefuture.

W/esbouldcultivatetbebabitofbeingconstantly
n]indfulo{whatwesay.Then,wewillbeableto
distinguishbetweentbosen]annersofspeecbthatcan
annoypeopleandthosetbatcann]aketben]bappy
Througbthisawareness,wewillbeabletoconsider
thevalueorot}Ierwiseo{allourt}Iougbts,wordsand
actions.Tboughtscontrolledn]eanswordscontrolled.
V/ordscontrolledn]eanactionscontrolledWbenall

tbesensesarecontrolledpersonsbecon]ebarn1lessand
noble.

CENTLESPEECH

>93

CultivatingSkilfulSpeech

Itisin]portanttoregardourtongueastbeservant.We
arethen]aster;thetonguewilldoourbidding.The
tonguewillhavetosaywbatwewanttosayandnot
whatitwantsustosay.Un{ortunate}y,{orIostof
us,itisourtonguetbatist}Ien]asterandweareits
slave.W/e}IavetolistentowhatitspeaksinournanIe
andweseen]unabletostopitswagging.Theresulto{
suchlacko{controlisalwaysdlsastrous
Son]epeoplevowtoobservesilencea{terabad
experienceofwrongspeecbTheyguardtbeirtongue
sothatnoevilwordwillescape{ron]theirlips.Buti{
weIiveinsociety,canwen]aintainsilencealltbetin]e?

DP

WecoMioseetgOeigsiet.Oncetberewasarnonkwhobadalazy
attendantboywbowouIdsIeeplateintotheIorning.
Onedayhewoketheboyupandshoutedatbin]saying,Youstillsleeping!ventbetortoisesareoutof
tbepond,lyingoutintbesun
AtthetiIne,an]anwbowastryingtocatcbson]e
tortoiseston]akean]edicinalsoup{orbisn]otber
overbeardwbatthenIonkbadlustsaidandbewentto
tbepond.Trueenougb,tbereweren]anytortoises
lyingoutinthen]orningsunHecaughta{ewo{tben]
andn]adetbesoup{orbisn]other.Butbehadnotforgottenabouttben]onkIngratitude{ortben]onks
advice,heo{{eredbin]son]etortoisesoup.Tben]onk

19HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

washorrifiedtoknowthatbisspeecbwasresponsible
fortbedeatbofthosecreaturesandvowednotto

speakagain.
SoInetin]elater,tbeIonkwassittingoutinthe
verandaho{tbeten]ple.Hesawablindn1anwalking
downtberoadandwasheadingtowardstbepond.He
wantedtoasktbeblindn]antostopwalkingbutthen
reIeIberedtoobservebisvowo{silence.W/bilebe

wasdebatingin}1isIindastowbattodotbeblind
n]ann]eanw}]ilebadwalkedstraigbtintotbepondand
wasdrencbedwet.Thisn]adetbernonkfeelverybad
andberealizedthatonecannotliveintbisworld

sin]plybykeepingsilentorbytalking.V/eInustuse
ourcon]Ionsensetosurviveinthisworld.
P

Tbereisanarto{spealKing,andtbatis,tospeak
gentlyandpolitely,notbarsblyorrudely.W/eIust

learntospeakattberigbttiIneandattberightplace
onanysubiectifwewishtoavoidconflictorcritici
etetogtttl.Bese,e
ttttoegogtoeses.

I9
THVALUEOTLONG
INDNESS

Weote,eogMoeoeeeMt
teeOeeJret
Ueg
DCbJZ

A::

tbattbeBuddhawasteacbingDbarnn]aatthen]onas=
tery,sbevisitedHirnandplacedbersonatHisfeet
forprotection.Tbeogresswastbuspreventedfron]
enteringtbenIonastery.Shewaslatercalledin,and
boththeladyandogresswereadn]onishedbytbe
Buddba.

196HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

TbeBuddhasaidthatinoneoftheirpastlivesone
oftben]wasbarrenandthatherhusbandhadarranged
ton]arrytbeotherwon1an.Laterwl]entbefirstwife
knewtbattheotherwaspregnant,sbeInixedadrugto
thefoodandtbuscausedbertobaveanIiscarriage.
TwosiInilaratten]ptsweren1ade,andonthethird
attenIpttbefruit{ulwifedied.Howeverbeforeber
death,tbisunfortunatewon]anwbowasinarage,

vowedvengeanceonthebarrenwon1anandberfuture
offspring.
Thustheirpastfeudasrivalwivesandthehatred
theybarbouredtowardseachotberledtothekilling
ofeacbotberscbildrenintbeirvarioussubsequent
<ives.Theogressdesiretokillthewon]an,sbabywas

onlyacontinuationoftbisdeep-seatedhatred.Hatred
canonlycausen]orebatred:itcanonlyceasethrough
lovefriendsbip,understandingandgoodwill.Botb
realisedtheirn]istakes,andont}]eadviceoftbe

Buddha,tbeyn]adepeacewitbeacbother.
T}Iisstorytellsushowpeoplecarrytbeirbatred
evena{terdeatbintotheirfuturelives.

0=d

LovingandKindness

Tbepursuitofhappinessisnotdifficultifwebavetbe
rigbtnIentalattitudeLoveistbekeytobappinessAll
bun]anbeingsbavethepotentialtogiveandreceive
love.W/earepotentiallystorebouseso{love.
Loveisapricelessgifttobestowontoanother.

THEVALUEOFLOVNGKlNDNESS

I9>

Tbrougblove,wecanprovidethewarn]tbtosatisfy
tbeburningneedso{anindividualtobelovedfor
tbosewboloveandarelovedinreturnarebappier
tbantbosedevoidoflove.TbenIorelovewegivetbe
n]orewillwereceiveinreturn.Tbisisinaccordance
witbtbeeternallawo{causeandeffect

IntheBuddbasteacbingstbespiritofloveisn]ore
inportanttbangoodworkAgoooJzMteze
eOtototOUeCJseet.
LoueJeeteetCoPegoooIt
eJgiDeJM
LoveisoneofthegreatestinstruIentsofnature.

Tbepowerfulforceo{loveistbebondandcen]ento{
societythespiritandlieoftheuniverse.Loveistbe
Inostprecioust}]ingintbeworld.NonIatterbow
unbappyyouarenoworhavebeenintbepast,you
canstillfindbappinessintbe{uture.Tbekeyto
happinessislove,andyouareinpossessionoftbat
preciouskey,rig}]tnowandalways.AndreIen]ber,
lovebeginswitbyouStarttbeprocesso{extending
yourloveandcoIpassiontoallbeings.T}Ieinevitable
reactionwillsurelybethatyouwillreceiveplentyo{
loveinreturn.TellinganotberpersonIloveyou
canbeariskybusinessson]etiIes,buttberewards
canbesubstantial.

Cu>tivatingLovingKindness

Tbeideao{lovecanrneandifferentthingstovarious
peopleLove,accordingtotbeBuddba,doesnot
n]eanattacbn]enttoapersonoranobiectthrougb

198HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

wbichonedesirestosatisfybisorberselfisbcraving.
Loveshouldbeanendlessself-in]n]olatingconIpassionfreelyflowingtowardsaIivingbeings.In
tbeMettaSutta,tbeBuddhasaid:
LOtOeeCeUeOtb2

VoeJPJePesotsoebce.
Zgeo
LeMotOOte.
JMoeoPOteCMeOO
AtQfeoMb
EDeOCteOesset

egs

LoveistbesoilinwbicbtbelovedonesgrowIt
enricbestbeotberpersonwit}Ioutlin]itingorrestrictingbin]LoveelevatesbuInanityLovecostsnotbing.
LovesbouldnotbeselectiveSon]en]aythinkoflove
asson]etbingtoreceive,butitisbasicallyagiving
process.

Incultivatingloveandkindness,wesbouldstart
withtboseathon]eTbelovebetween{atberand

n]otbergreatlyin{luencestbeatn]ospbereat}IonIeand
generateslove,careandsharingan]ongotber{aIily
nIen]bersAbusbandandwi{esbouldtreateacbother

witbrespectcourtesyandfidelity
Parentsshould{ul{il{ivedutiesfortheirchildren:

avoiddoingevilandsetanexan]pleofgooddeeds,
givetben]aneducation,besupportiveandunderstandingintheirchildrensloveaffairsorarrangefor
theirn]arriage,andlettberninberitthefarnilywealtb

THEVALUOL0NCKlNDNESS

l99

atapropertin]e.Acbild,ontbeotberband,sbou}d
honourbisparentsanddofortben]allbeissupposed
todo.Hesbouldservetben],belptheIattheir
labour,cberis}Itbe{an]ilylineage,protecttbe{anIi}y
property,doson]eservicestoothersintbeirnan]eand
boldn]enIorialservices{orthen]aftertbeybave
passedaway.I{busbandsandwives,aswellasparents
andcbildren{ollowthisadvicetaugbtbytbeBuddba,
tberewil}alwaysbebappinessandpeaceintbehoIe.
Li{eisn]adeupo{littletbingsinwbicbsn]ilesand
kindnessandsn]allobligations,givenbabitually,are
wbatwinandpreservetbebeart.
Onen]arko{alovingpersonistbatbebasacon]-

passionateheartI/esbouldcultivatetbehabito{
belpingtboseintroubleandwboareless{ortunate
thanourselves.Onesbou}dnotn]erelybesyn]patbetictoanotberen]otionally,butshouIdseektotranslatetbateelingintopositiveactions.xtendinglove
andkindnessdoesnotn]eansboweringgi{ts,buttbe
showeringo{gent}enessandgenerosityo{spirit.
lJUttMecJeeMe
ce.Soongastbereisonesinglepersonwhon
youcanconsoIebywords,wbon]youcanenlivenand
cbeerbyyourpresence,whon]youcanrelieveby
yourbelp,howeverinsigni{icantorunin]portantit
nIigbtbe,youareapreciouspossessiontothebun]an
raceandyousbouldneverbedisbeartenedordepressedAoJtggoooou5ee
ctsaysGandbi,Jtjezor
tUOO.

2HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

Searcbforson]eoneless{ortunateorlessbealt}]y
tbanyoursel{Extendanypossiblebelporassistance
youcanwitbinyourn]eansandabilityMakesyn]patby,en]patbyandlovingkindnesskeeppacewith
vourcapacityforselfdevelopn]ent.Youcanbe
cbeatedorletdownbyanotberandtbereisnonein
thisworldwbobasnot{acedsucbcraftyindividuals.
eesoseotOloeete
ttJseoosotooes.Neverharbour
thougbtsofrevengeagainsttbosewbobavewronged
you.

Tberen]aybetirneswbentboseyoulovedonot
seen]tocare,andyouareapttofeelbeavyatbeart.
Butthereisnoiustcausefordeiection.Wbatdoesit
n]atterifothersarenotgratefultoyouordonotcare
foryou,aslongasyoubelievetbatyouarefullo{
con]passionandloveforotbers.

eeeJO
WeteeJOUeMOe

eeiJ!eUeUJ
Wetee,JOUeMOe

emtO,se0ge
WeeeJOZeMOe

GratitudeisararevirtuetodayPorourown
happiness,wesbouldnotexpecttobeappreciatedfor
everyactwedo.Ifweexpecttbat,weareboundto

facedisappointn]entsandfrustrationsIfbonoursor
recognitioncon]eourway,sobeit:ifnot,never
n]ind.

TOLERANCE,PAIENCE
ANDCONTENTMENT

teOetOemfOes
ceeoctoscooeego
esoUgDeZoroo

T:olh
becauseitbelpsustoavoidproblen]s.Italso}Ielpsus
tounderstandotberpeople,stroubles,toavoidgiving

destructivecriticisn],andtorealisethateventhefinest

hun]anbeingisnotinfallible.W/ewillalsorealisetbat
son1eoft}1eweaknessesfoundinourneighbourscan
befoundinourownselvesaswell.

Aspirituallyenligbtenedpersonislikelytobernore

2zHOWTOLIEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

toleranttbanotbers.Atolerantpersondoesnotlike
tointer{erewithanotberperson,s{reedon]oft}]oug}]t,
wbicbist}Iebirthrighto{everyindividual.Heisnot
easilyoffendedandgrantstbepossibilitytbatothers
couldalsoberigbtevenifbedoesnotagreewitbtbeir
viewsHeisnotstubbornorunreasonablewitbbis

views.Ifbethinkstbeotherpersoniswrong,beIay
trytopersuadebin]toseetbeerrorofbisbyclear
reasoning,butneverwillbeforceanotbertoaccept
bisviews.

Oneoftbegreatesttragediesinbun]anrelations}Iips
istbeinabilityandunwillingnesstotolerateand
accon]n]odateviewstbataredi{ferent.If,onaccount

ofreIigiousviews,peopleofdifferent{aitbscannot
n]eetonacon>n]onplatforn]likeculturedpeople,
tbensurelytben]issionso{t}Iecon]passionatereligiousteachersbavefailedIiserably.AtsucbplatfornIs,itwouldbebettertodiscussandexcbange
tboseviewswbicbweagreeonandtoleratetbose
wbicbwedonot.Wbencertaindisturbancesarisewe

n]ustknowbowtoovercon]etben]witboutaggravatingtlIesituation
00Dppp

HtouoifscesTherewasabeadn1anina

certainvillagewbobadahotten]peredfatberEach
tiIetbeelderlyInanlosthisteInper,bewouldstorn]
outo{bisbouseandscoldbissonAlt}Iougbbis
tenIperwaswellknownintbevillage,tbisoutburst

TOLERANCEPAT<ENCEANDCONTENTMENT23

causedson]eernbarrassn]entandoftendisturbed

otbersn]inds

Oneday,tbebeadn]anhunganironringoutsidebis
bouseandinstructedthevillageboystostrilKeit
repeatedlyeacbtinIebis{atberscoldedbiIn.Tbeloud
clangingnoisedrewaIoto{attention,andsoonthe
elderlyIanrealisedtbathewasInakinga{oolofbiIsel{andstoppedscoIdingbisson.

P0

Patience

Inourdailyli{e,tbereisn]ucbtbatwebavetoendure.
V/ebavetobearallkindsofpain,botbphysically
andIentallyV/ehaveto{aceworries,frustrations,
depressions,andalltypesofin]aginaryfears.Itisusefultoknowhowtoputupwitbtbispainbecause
n]anypbysicaldisordersarebrougbtaboutbywrong
babitsoftbought,unbealtbyn]entalattitudesand
unnecessaryanxieties.Undersucbcircurnstances,it
wilIbeuse{ultopractisepatience.
Patienceisn]entionedasoneo{theexen]p}ary
cbaracteristicso{are}igiousn]an,aIongwitbsincerity,
swiftnessinunderstandingandtenderness.Onewho
bastbese{ourquaIitiesissaidtobeworthyofrespect.

`=

BD

eBtJeSOnoneoccasionthe
Buddbawasinvitedbyabrabn]in{oraln]stobis
bouse.Asinvited,tbeBuddhavisitedtbehouseo{tbe

2HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

brabInin.InsteadofentertainingHirn,thebrabnIin
pouredfortbatorrentofabusewit}Itbefiltbiestof
words.

TbeBuddhapolitelyinquired:
DovisitorsconIetoyourbouse,goodbralInIin?,
Yes,Hereplied.
Wbatdoyoudowbentbeycoe,
Ob,weprepareasurnptuousfeast.
Iftbeyfailtoturnup?
W/hy,wegladlypartakeofit.
V/ell,goodbrabIinyou}]aveinvitedn]eforaln]s
andentertainedrnewithabusewbichIdeclineto

accept.Pleasetakeitback
TbeBuddbadidnotretaliate,butpolitelygaveback
wbattbeBrahrninbadgivenHin].Retaliatenot,the
Budd}Iaadvised.Hatredsdonotceasethrough
batred,buttbrougblovealonetheycease.
Tberewasnoreligiousteacberbigblypraisedand
soseverelycriticisedreviledandblan>edliketbe
Buddba.Suc}]istbefateofgreatIen.
InapublicasseIblyavilewon]annaInedCinca
pretendingtobepregnant,accusedtbeBuddha.W/it}I
asIilingfacetbeBuddhapatientlyenduredtbeinsult
andtherebyHisinnocencewasproved.
TbeBuddhawasonceaccusedofrnurderinga
won]anassistedbyHisdisciplesNon-BuddlIists
severelycriticisedtheBuddhaandHisdisciplestosucb
anextentthattheVenerableAnandaappealedtothe
Buddhatoleaveforanothervillage.

TOLERANCE>PATlENCEANDCONTENTMENT25

How,Ananda,wbatiftboseotbervillagersalso
abuseus?)

V/e}ltben,Lordwewillproceedtoanother
village.
TbenAnanda,tbew}Io}eo{Indiawillbaveno

place{orus.Bepatient.
Tbeseun{oundedabuseswillautoInaticallycease.
Magandiya,aladyofbaren]wbobatedtbeBuddha
{orspeakingabouttberepulsivenessofberattractive

{igurewbenberfatber,tbroughignorance,wisbed
togiveberinn]arriagetot}]eBuddbaS}]ebired
drunkardstoinsulttbeBuddbainpublic.V/ithper{ectequaniIT]itytheBuddbaenduredtbeinsultBut
Magandiyabadtosu{{er{or}Iern]isdeed.
Insultsareacon]n]onlotwhicbbun>anitybasto
{aceandendure.Then]oreweworkandtbegreaterwe
becon]etbeInorewewou}dbesubiecttoinsultsand
bun]i}iation

-P

=P

-P

q=P

ThePowerofPatiencc

A{tergainingspiritualliberation,Pindola,adisciple
oftbeBuddba,returnedtohisnativeplace,Kosan>bi,
torepaytbepeopIethere{orthekindnesstbeybad
sbownbirnItbadbeenabotsuInn]erday,andon
reachingtheoutskirtsofKosan]bi,Pindolasatin
n]editationunderthecoolshadeo{atreeinaparkon
thebankoftbeGangesRiver.
Atthattin]e`KingUdenacan]etotbeparkwitbbis

z6HOWTOLIEWITHOUTPEAR&WORRY

consortsforrecreationand,afterIusicandpleasure,
betookanapintbesbadeo{anotbertree.W/biletbeir
Kingwasasleep,hiswivesandIadies-in-waitingtook
awalkandsuddenlycanIeuponPindolainn]editationTbeyrecognisedbin]asabolyrnanandasked
bin]toteacbtben].

V/bentbeKingawokefron]bisnap,bewentin
searcho{bis}adiesandfoundtben]surroundingtbis
bolynIanandlisteningtobisteacbing.Beingofa
iealousandlasciviousIind,theKingbecan]eangry
andabusedPindola,saying:Itisinexcusabletbat
you,aholynIan,s}Iouldbeintben]idsto{won]en
andenioyidletalkwitbtben].Pindo!aquietlyclosed
hiseyesandren]ainedsilent.
TbeangryKingdrew}Iisswordandthreatened
Pindola,butthebolyn]anren]ainedsilentaIlwas
{irn]asarockTbisn]adetbeKingn]oreangryand}Ie
brolKeopenanantbillandtbrewson]eo{tbeant-filled
dirtuponhin].Sti>lPindolaren]ainedsittinginIeditationandquietlyenduredtbeinsultandpain.
Tbereupon,tbeKingbecan]easban]edo{bisbad
conductandbeggedPindola,spardon.Asaresulto{
tbisincident,tbeBuddba,steacbingfounditsway
intotbeKingscastIeandfron]tbereitspreadaIlover
tbecountry.
Bepatient.Angerleadsontoapatblessiungle.
V/hileangerirritatesandannoysothers,italso}Irts
onesel{,weakenstbepbysicalfrarneanddisturbstbe
n]ind.Abarshword,}ikeanarrowdisc}Iargedfron]a
bow,canneverbetakenbackevena{teratbousand

TOLERANCEPATlENCEANDCONTENTMENT2

apologiesNeverusebarsbwordsinaheatedargun]ent.Itisalwaystheretorttbatstartstbetrouble
Bycultivatinganddevelopingpatience,tbedestructiveeIotionalenergywitbinuswillnotbavethe
cbancetosurfacetotakecontrolanddirectusto
cornn]itevil
=

`DP Q=

IiotletWsiOnceVenerableSariputta,tbecbie{discipleo{tbeBuddba,wasconfronted
byabrahn]inwboabusedbin>witbangrywordsW/ben
tbesewordsdidnotaf{ectVenerableSariputta,the
brabn]inbecaIeevenn]ore{urious.

DidntyoubearwbatIbaveiustsaid?,sboutedthe
angrybrabnIin.DoyoubavenotbingtosaytoallIy
insults?,

VenerableSariputta,snIiledgentlyatthebrabn]in,
andreplied,V/ell,n]y{riend,Idobearyouloudand
clear.ButsinceIknowthatyouhavenotbinguseful
tosay,Ibearonlysoundvibrations.,

DP

Porgeteveryevilorinsu}t;renIembereverykindness.Tbeworldbaswitnessedenougbbatredalready.
Letthe{uturebebasedonthebroad{oundation

ofloving-kindness,con]passionandwisdonITbe
Buddbistwayofdealingwithproblen]sisnotprescriptivebuttberapeutic.Hatredoranger,likeany
otberdestructiveen]otion,istobeeradicatednotby

28HOwTOLIEwlTHOUrFEAR&wORRY

suppressionbutbygraduallyrenIovingitsroots.
Ifwereturnviolenceforviolence,tberecanbeno

endtoit.Enn]itywillgiverisetoenrnity.Adesirefor
revengewillarousen]orevengefultboug}]tsResentIentcanneverbeconqueredbyresentn]ent,and
}IatredonIybegetsbatred.Thebestapproacbto
theseevilsistoappeasethen]witbtbeantidotesof
syIpat}]y,forgiveness,toleranceandpatience.
Gandhisays:eCeOe,eoe
Oe.,

z
BINGFRUSTRATED
NLOV

OeoMoeoe,JgiDoeJCeto
teOtePt

I;

apersonis,bewillstillexperience{rustration.Tbe
tbingshedoesntbave,bewiIong{ortben].V/henhe
alreadyhascertaintbings,helongsforson]en]oreor
{oracbangeUnfulfilleddesireiscon]n]onto
everyone.

Intben]attersofthebeart,thelonging{ortbelove
ofanotberalwaysbringsfrustration.W/benaperson
{allsinloveandfindstbatbisorher{eelingsarenot

21HOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

reciprocatedbeorshebecon]esfrustrated.Tbisoften
occursan]ongyoungpeople.Evenconditionswbicb

areclearlyfavourablecanchangeunexpectedlyTo
ilIustrate:
q00pqp

WoeegiOnceayoungnIanbadfallen
deeplyinlovewithagirlfron]anotbertown.He
.bislovefor
wrotelongletterstoherdailyexpresslng
her.Aftersendingno>essthanafewhundredletters,
}Iediscoveredtohisborrortbatsbehad{al>eninlove

andn>arriedtbepostn]anwhobaddeliveredtbe
letters.

`=

<

DP

qD

Son]epeoplefa>linloveat{irstsigbtandren]ain
bappyfortheresto{tbeirlives.Son]eothers{allin
loveatfirstsigbt,onlytorealisetbatitwasinfatuation
andregretitlater.But{ortben]ostpart,lovetakes
tiInetogrow.Thereore,iflovedoesnotblosso
irnn]ediateIy,apersonsbouldnotbedisheartenedtoo
easily.Tbereisasayingtbatafaintbeartneverwona
{airlady.Tbisistosaytbatapersonwbogivesuptoo
easilywillnotbeableton]arrytheonebedesires.
Son>ecanconducttben]selvesIaturelyandslowly
drawtheothersattentiontotheirkindness,consideration,steadfastness,and}ove{ortheotber.Onen]ust

notbeunreasonableorsel{isbintbeexpressiono{
ones{eelings.A{terall,hun]anen]otions,likeall
tbingsinnature,aresubiecttocbange.Wbenonecon-

BElNGPRUSTRATEDlNLOVE

21>

ductsoneselfwell,tbereiseverycbancetbattheother
wi}lbegintorealisetbegoodqualitiesanddevelop

warrn{eelingstowardstbeotberandallthesen]ay
taketin]e.

Buttheren]ustbealin]itintryingtowintbebeart
o{anotber,especiallywbentbeanswerisaclearNO
andt}Iepersonrnustnotgotoextren]esinexpressing
t}]elove.Onen]ustgivetbeothertherightton]ake
one,sowndecisionandrespecttbatdecision.Tbereis
nolawtbatonesloveforanotbern]ustbereci-

procatedInsituationswhenaperson,sIoveisnot
reciprocated,itisbest{oreitberpartytowisballtbe
bappiness{ortbe{uturcwell-beingandpartasfriends
witboutcausinganyhindrancestotbeirownpersonalityorn>akeanuisanceo{tben]selves.
-P

p=0

=P

Cbcec.Onceayoungnanwantedthe
girlo{bisdreaInstoreturnbisIove{orber.Hetried
bysendingher{lowersandgiftsbutthegirldidnot
respond.HavingtriedvariousInethodsbut{ailingto
wintbegirl,slove,he{inallytboughto{apIan-alove
charn],andhewenttoaten]pletopersuadet}]en]onk
topreparethatcharn]{orbiIn.
Sorry,wedontIakeIovecharn]sbere,,saidthe

n]onkI{tbegirIasnointerestinyou,trytofind
soIneoneelse.ButtheyoungInanwasinsistentthat
hewishedberloveonly.
UnabletopersuadebiInwitbadvice,theIonk

z12HOwTOLIEWlTHOUTPEAR&WORRY

triedanotbern]etbodAlright,saidthen]onk,take

tbisoilwithyouV/benyouseeberthefirsttbingin
tben]orning,applyt}IisoiIonberforehead.,
Tbeyoungn]anwokeupearlytbefo}lowing
n]orningandeagerlywaited{ortbegirltoernerge
{ron]berbouseAsshecaIeoutwitbabroon]in

bandtosweept}Iecon]pound,heran{orward,dipped
his{ingerinthebottIeo{oilandappliedittoberforeheadasinstructedbythernonk
Tbegirlnotonlyhadanasty{rightbutbecan]eso
{urious,tbatshecbasedhin]out,beatinghin>witbthe
broon]Tbeyoungn]anIearned}Iisbitterlessonabout
Iovecharn]s,anddecidedtoturnbislovetoanother

girlwbolikedhirn.In{act,becauseo{tbisincident,he
waswiseenoughtornarrytbegirIwhoreallyloved
bin].

BreaMngUp

lnanyIoverelationsbip,tbereisaIwaystbepossibility
o{breakingupArelationsbipwhichwaslikeadreaIn
badturnedsourandthepartiesinvolvedcouldseethe
spIitcon]ing.Inthebreakupo{are}ationshiptbereis
pain,especia>}ywbenonesen]otionsarealltiedupin
knots.En]otionaIknotshavetobecutsoonerorlater

andeachtiInetheyarecuttbepartiesinvolvedbleed
aIittIe.Onesbouldaccepttbe{acttbatforson]e
timeonewiIIbesubIectedtosbarpf}uctuationsin
en]otions.Men]orieso{tbingssaidordonecouId
suddenlyariseand{il}onewitha{loodo{eIotions.

BElNGPRUSTRATEDlNLOVE

213

Insucbasituation,son]epeoplewalkaroundlikea
woundedvictin].Iftbereisnotbingthatonecando
abouttbebreakup,tbeveryfirsttbingistoccePt
tseut.Untilonedoesthat,onecanbe

paralyzed,wit}Itbougbtsrunningoverandoverintbe
n]indofbowton]endson]etbingthatcannotbe
n]ended.OneIustbepreparedtoundergoafewstagesernotionallybeforerecoveringfron]tbebreakup.

Atfirst,therewillbetbeMoc.Onewillindit

bardtobelievetbattbebreakupbasreallyhappened.
AftertbesbockwillbeoneseJeeie.
Onebaslost{ace,especiallytooneself.Aftertbe
shockandfindingawaytosalvagetbepride,onebas
toacetbeoeesJofbeingalone.Buteventbiswill
goawayeventually.Itisnotgoingtogoawayinaday
oraweek;itwilltaketine,buMtigo.
Duringtbisperiod,onesbouldtUgoet
te.Donttbinkabouttbepastorworrytoonucb
abouttbefutureLivingonedayatatiInewillbelp
oneintidingovertbeworstdays.Andtben,before
oneknowsit,oneisnolongeraffectedbytbebreakup,andoneisreally{reeagain.
Onesbouldavoiddoingson1etbingfoolishduring
tbeperiodofadIustrnent.Everynowandtben,we
readintbenewspapersabouttragediesofsuicides,
violenceandn]urderconI]ittedbythebrokenbearted.T}Ierewasacaseofayoungn]anw}]otbrew
hin]selfintotberiveranddrowned,witbhislove

lettersneatlywrappedinaplasticpackagestuffedin
bispocket.Hewasbroken-heartedbecausebisgirl-

2lHOWOLWlTH0UTPARWORRY

{riendbaddecidedton]arryanotbern]an.Thisyoung
n]anhadcon]n]ittedpbysicaIsuicide.Son]econ]n]it
emotionaIsuicidebygoinginsaneouto{{rustration
anddisappointn]entduetoabrokenlovea{fairSon]e
re{useton]arryorto{aIIinloveagaina{terbeing
iilted
V/bydopeopIebavetoundergoalltbissuf{ering?It

isbecausetbeybaveno<deveIopedanunderstanding
o{tbeuncertaintieso{Ii{eandis,there{ore,caughtup
inanen]otionalturbulence.Theydevelopattachn]ent
andhaveunreasonab}eexpectations.Apersonwbo
basabetterunderstandingo{tbenatureo{li{ewiIl
knowtbatli{eisa{{ectedbyeigbtwordlyconditions.
Liketbewavesintheocean,tbeseeigbtworld>yconditions{luctuateOnen]on]entitis{avourab}eand

isweIcon]edwithopenarn]s;atanotbern]on]entit
becon]esun{avourable,whicbisratberbardtobear.

LikeapenduIun]swingingbackand{ortb,desirable
andundesirableconditionsprevai}intbisworIdand
everyone,withoutexception,n]ust{acetben].
Onen]ayenloyson]egain,but{oreverygainthere
isaIsothedangero{Ioss.Tbisistrue{orfan]e,praise
andhappiness,wbicbhavetberisko{tbeirnegative
counterparts,nan]eIy,de{an]e,bIaIeandpain,arising
However,theoccurrenceofeverynegativecondition
carriesalsothehopetbatthingswiIIchange{orthe
better.AIosscansetthe{oundationfor{uturegain,
wbiIede{an]ecanturninto{ame,bIan]cintopraise,

andpainintobappiness.Sucbistheinstabilityo{
worIdlyconditions.Andthea{{airo{tbebeart,being

INCUSTRAIN1OV

2!5

subicc<toworIdIyconditions,isnodi{{erent.A
Iovcbetwccntwopersonscangrowin[osoInctbing
deepandn]atured,{edbyseI{lcssgiving,mu[ual
rcspectandsharing.ItcanaIso[urnsourwbcnthe
partiesinvolvedbccoIhecarcIcsswiloneotcror
wl]enconditionscbangetbroug}]noone,s{ault.
Onewayto{indsolace{oryourn]en[aIagonyor
frustrationistounderstandthedegreeo{yourown
su{{eringsanddi{ficultieswithtlMtexperiencedbv
others.Youthinktbateverytbingaroundyouisabout
tocoIlapse.However,i{youtr>/totakean]entaI
stockoftbingsandtrytocountyourbIessings,you
wiII{ind,surprisingIy,tbatyouarebettero{{tMn
n]anyothersw}]osu{{ermore.Insbort,you}nvebeen
unduIyexaggeratingyourprobIems.Manyotbersare
worseo{{t}]anyouandyettl]eydonotworryunduIy.
Anotbern]etbodtorcduceyourproblen]sisto
recapitulatewbatyouhavegonetbroughbe{ore,
undersin]iIarorworsecircun]stancesandhowvou

have,tl]rougbyourpatienceande{{orts,beenableto
surn]ountyourthenseen]ingIydi{{iculties.Bydoing
so,youwilInotpern]ityourexistingproblen]sto
drownyou,.OnthecontraryyouwilIdetern]ineto
resolvewbateverissuesorproblen]sthatInaybefacing
you.YousbouldreaIisetbatyoubavegonetbrougb
worsesituationsandthatyouarepreparedto{acetbe
issuecornewbatnay.ithtbisraneonind,you
wiIlsoonregainyoursel{-con{idenceandwiIbeable
to{aceandresolvewbateverprobIemsthatareinstore
{oryou.

22
HAPPYMARREDF

SoMeeUetgeeeeDeB
egeMleteCoM
elUeeeeie

fb:d

tben]selves.TbisPartnershipisaninterweavingof
lnterests,andsacrificeswillbavetoben1adefortbe

sakeofbot}]PartiesItisfronIn]utualunderstanding
andconcernt}1atsecurityandcontentn1entinInarriage
canbeestablisbed.

Tberearenos}1ort-cutsto}1appinessinIarr1age.
Notwohun]anbeingscanpossiblylivetogetberinan

HAPPYMARRlEDLlPE

21>

intin1ateen]otionalrelationsbipforalongperiodof
tiIewitbouthavingson]en1isunderstandingorfrictionfronItin]etotiIne.Understandingandtolerance
arerequiredtoovercon>etbefeelingsofjealousy,
angerandsuspicion.Totbinktbatonedoesnotneed
toadoptagive-and-takeattitudeistopresunIetbat
loveinnIarriageisiustfortbeaskingwitboutany
sacrificeonourpart.
Bui>dingaSuccessfulMarriage

Successinn]arriageisbasedoncon1patibilityratber
thaniustonlyfindingtherigbtpartner.Both
partnersn]usttrytobetberigbtpersonbyactingout
ofnIutualrespect,loveandconcernforeacbotber.
Loveisaninnerfeelingandafulfiln1entarisingfron]
then>utualhealthygrowtbwitbandfortbeotber
person.Inasuccessfuln]arriage,apartnern]ustnot
alwaystrytogettbingsbisorberownway.T}Iis
bringston1indaburnouroussaying
oe.Tbereisonlyonepatb
tobetroddenbyboth,itn]aybeuneven,bun]pyand
soIetirnesdifficult,butitisalwaysan]utualpatb,.
Ahappymarriageisnotoneinwhicbweareto
existwit}Ieyesclosed.W/eseefaultsaswellasvirtues,

andwesbouldaccepttbe{acttbatnooneisperfect.A
busbandandwifeIustlearntosharetbebappiness
andpainintbeirdailylives.Mutualunderstandingis
tbesecretforrnulao{abappyn1arriage.Marriageisa
blessing,butunfortunately,n]anypeopletreatit

218HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

otberwiseduetoalacko{correctcon]Inunicationand

understanding.
MostoftbeIaritaltroublesandworrieswbicb

norn>allyariseareduetoanunwillingnessofone
partnertocon]pron]iseandtopractisepatiencewith
tbeotber.Tbego}denruletoavoidan1inornIisunderstandingbeingblownoutofproportionistopractise
patience,toIeranceandunderstanding.Hun]anbeings
areen]otionalandbenceareliabletogetintotantrun]s
wbicb}eadtbeItobeangry.Husbandsandwives
sboulddotheirutn]ostforbotbnottobeangryat
tbesanIetinIe.Tbisistbegoldenrule{orabappyn]arriedlife.Ifbot}Ipartiesarenotangryattbesan]etirne,

problen]scaneasilyberesolvedbyadoptingtbenoble
spiritofpatience,toleranceandunderstanding.
Tbebusbandsbouldtreatbiswifewitbrespect,
understandingandconsiderationandnotasaservant
norasadollinbisbands.Altbougbben]aybere-

gardedasthebread-winnero{thefan]ily,itisalso
bisdutytohelpbiswifewitbthehouseholdwork
wbeneverheis{ree.Tbewi{e,ontbeotberband,

s}Iouldnotalwaysnagorgrun]bleatherbusbandover
trivialI]atters.If}IereallybascertainsbortconIings,
sbeshouldtrytotalkwitbbin1andcorrecthin>ina

gentlen]annerAspouseshouldtrytotolerateand
bandlen]anytbingswithoutbotheringthepartner,
especiallywbentbereareprobleIsaffectingones
career.Ifoneisinclinedtowardsiealousy,onernust

trytorestrainsuspicionsovertbepartnersrnovenlentssincetbeyn1aynotatallbeiusti{iable.In

HAPPYMARRlEDLlFE

2>9

BuddhisI,n]utualrespectandtrustareofparaIount
irnportanceinahappyunion.
SexinMarriage

SexsbouldbegivenitsdueplaceinabappynIarriage.
LilKefire,sexisagoodservantbutcanbeabad
n]aster.Itsbouldneitberbeunbealtbilyrepressednor
rnorbidlyexaggerated.Thedesireforsex,likeany
otberen]otion,n]ustbereguIatedbyreason.Alt}Iougb
itisanin]portantelen]entintbebappinesso{rnost
nIarriedcouples,itisnecessarytorealisetbatonecan
bebappywitboutgivingsexapararnountrole.Onthe
otberband,onecanbaveagoodsexli{eandstillbe
unbappy.Realloveisnotiustphysical:itisaspiritual
conI]union,an1eetingofn]inds.
Sexisn]uchIoretbantbepbysicalgratificationof
desires.Itistbebasisforanintin]atelife-longcon]panionslIip.Downtbrougbtheages,loveandn]utual
respectbavebeensbowntobetbebasisforclose
intirnacybetweentbesexes.Dr.HelenKaplanof
CornellMedicalCentersayst}Iatwit}1outintin1acy

therecanbenoreallove.Herdefinitionofintin]acyis
tbesharingof{eelings,notin{orn]ation.CoupIeswbo
arenotintiIatewilltendtotallKoffrivoloussubiects
liketbeweatberthelatestTVshowsorwhattoeat

fordinner.Theynevern]akeitapointtoleteac}Iotber
knowiftbeyarereallyhappyunbappy,frigbtened,
worriedoranyotbersucbintinatefeeling.Tbeyare
a>sonotinterestedtoknowhowtheirpartnerreaIly
feels.

2zHOWTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

ThenIarriedcouplesbouldn]akeeveryeffortto
cultivatetbetiIeIessvirtuesofcbastity,fidelityand
decency.Realgrowtbonlycornest}IrougbtbedeveloprnentoftbesevirtuesNonecanrepealthecosn>ic
n]orallawofcauseandeffect,oftbelastingunityof
allhun]anbeings.Tbebopeofpersonalgrowtband
barn]onyinsocietyliesintberecognitionoft}Iisbasic
law,ratbertbansurrenderingoneselftobaseand
coarseanin]alinstinctswbicbonlybringsufferingto
tbosewbon]wedearlylove.Selfrespect,burnan
dignityor}IuInanequalitiesareerodinginn]odern
soc1ety.
=

6=0

q=-0

<

WocoeciDseThetraditionalwayofdressingan]ongtbewon>enofabilltribewasto}eavet}1e
upperpartoftbeirbodiesbare.Tbeydidnotdraw
anyattentionanIongtbeirn]enwhowentabouttbeir
dailydutiesastbeybadbeendoingforgenerations.
However,wbentbeywereabouttobevisitedbysoIe
o{{icialsundertakingastudyontheirwayoflife,tbe
younggirlsweretoldbytheirchieftaintobidetben]se}ves.Tbeyweresa{ean]ongtbeInenoftbeirtribe,
buttberewasnotellingwbattbesocallededucated
n]en{ron]tbeciviIizedworldwoulddototben].
-

-P

-P

D-P

Thetendencyo{peopletodaytowardsanoverdependencyandobsessionwitbsexcanbeacause{or

HAPPYMARRlEDLIPE

221

alarn>.Ourforefatberserectedaveilofsecrecyand
bypocrisyaroundtbesubiect,anditiswelltbatthe
veilhasfortheIostpartbeentorndown.Butwben

sexbecon>esglorifiedandsensationalisedliketheway
itisdonetoday,itbindersthedevelopn1entofbigber
valuesinsociety.TheIassn]ediaparticularlybas
exploitedtheeroticsideoflifesoenticinglyand
successfullytbatbun]anityisbon]bardedsickbya
ceaselessbarrageofsexualstin>ulationfroIevery
sideTbewaybowtbeyorganisetbeirwayoflifeisto
showotberstbatthesexlifeistben1ostiInportant
aspectinbun]anlifeandtoneglectalltbeotber
in]portantdutiesandresponsibilities
HavingaGoodMarriage

TbeBuddbasaystbatanIarriagebetweenabadbusbandandabadwifeislikeadeadbodyexistingwitb
anotberdeadbody.Marriagebetweenabadn>anand
agoodwon1anislikeadeadbody,existingwitban
angelMarriedlifebetweenagoodn]anandabad
won]anislikeanangellivingwitbadeadbody.
Marriedlifebetweenagoodn]anandagoodwon]an
islikeanangellivingwitbanotberangel.Montaigne
iokesaboutarriedlifebysaying:Agoozge
OeeeW
(Tbewi{ewillnotseetben]answealKnessesandt}]e

busbandwillnotbearbernagging.)

Accordingtoacertainreligion,an>ann]ayn]arry
n]oretbanonewi{e,wbileotherreligionsrestrict

2Z2HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

IarriagetooneIanandonewifeAsfarasBuddbisIn
isconcerned,n]arriageisan1atterofpersonalcboice,
andpeoplearealsosub}ecttotbelawsoftbecountry
tbeylivein.Evenincountrieswberepolygan]yispern]issible,t}Iereisenoug}Ievidencetosbowtbatan]an
bavingn]orethanonewi{ewillonlyinviteIore
worriesandburdenstbrougboutbisli{e.
Mostofusalreadybaven]oretbanenoug}Itroubles.
InsteadofoverconIingthenIn]anypeoplegoout
lookingforson]eInoretroubles.
Q0pD00

Oebetou2sTherewasonceanelderly
n]anwbowasnotsatisfiedwithtbeonewifetowhoIn

bebadbeenIarriedforson]eyears.Hedecidedto
takeonasecondwifewbowasc}]arnIingandbeauti{ul.Now,tbissecondwifefeltrat}]eren]barrassedto
beseenwitbsucbanoldrnanSoinorderton]akebiIn

Iookyoung,s}]espentalotoftin]epluckingoutalltbe
greybairstbatbadappearedonbisbead.W/henbis
{irstwifenoticedtbis,sbebegantopullouthisblack
hairsonebyone,bopington]akebiIhappearolder.
Tbiscontestbetweentbetwoofthen]wentonand

int}Ieend,then]anbecan]econ]pletelybald,witb
neitberasinglegreybaixnorblackbaironbis}Iead.
:

Ladiesattacbalotofin]portancetobirtMaysand
anniversaries.Caring}IusbandssbouldreIen]ber

HAPPYMARRlEDL<PE

223

thesedatesandshouldneverbetoobusytokeeplove
alivewitblittletributesandattention.Littleactso{

attentionsuchastheseshowtbepersonyoulovetbat
youarethinkingofber,tbatyouwanttopleaseber,
tbatberhappinessandwelfareareverynearanddear
toyourbeartW/ivesdoappreciatesucIittleactso{
attentionsucbastbese{roItbeircourteousbusbands

anditistbisli{eIonggoodwilltbatkeepstbebonIe
firesburningLittIeactsoflovesuchastbeseareatthe
bottoIofn]ostn]aritalbappiness.
Marriedcouplestodaycanregulatethesizeoftheir
fan]ilytbrougbproper{an]ilyplanning.W/isecouples
sbouldplantbeirfan]iliesaccordingtotbeirincon]es
andcapabilities.Thereisnoreason{orBuddbiststo
opposecontraceptionandtbepracticeofbirtbcontrol
whichpreventthefertilizationo{theovun]However,oncetheen]bryoisforn]ed,itn]ustbeallowed
totakeitsfullcourseduringtbepregnancy.Buddhis
doesnotsupportnorcondonetheactofabortion
wbichconstitutesanactofkilling.

lfgeeJeessCssosoetoge
sOtOMesePteteteoDe
OoJt2leo.BoM,eoeo
cOeMeete,
eC

tOt

eOCoetteJO

Readerswisbing{urtberin{orma[iononthissubiect,areadvised
toreadtbebookAHappyMarriedLie,bytbesameauthor

23
YOURBEAUTY

BtwUeeUWUOCoee
eg0too.

A!::
saylnggoesbeautyisintheeyesoftbebeholder
Aggressivepron]otionaltacticsareusedtosbape
peoplesexpectatlonsaswellasrevolutioniseaccepted
levelso{style,quaIityandglan]our.Overtin]etbey
baven]anagedtodeveloptheseunrealisticexpectatlonstosucbadegreetbatn]akeconceitedIcnand
wonIentbeworldoverden]andbeautyasabasic
huIanrightAndtbesocalledbeautywhicbnIany

YOURBEAUTY

225

peopleseekareexternalratbert}1aninternal.External
goodlooksarewbattbeylookforwhenselecting
friendsorwbencboosingalifepartner.
Becauseoft}Iebigbpren]iun]beingplacedongood
looks,peopletryvariousn]etbodstoacbievet}]is
desirablestateItcouldIeangoingforaerobicsan
intensiveslin]n]ingcourseafacelift,wearing{asbionableclotbes,anew}]airdo,orn]akeup.Usually,ladies
andalsosoInen]en,tendtobeveryconsciousand
particularabouttbeirweightwhentheydiscoverthat
tbeybaveputona{ewextrapounds.
V/bilen]alesarenotexen]ptfron]thisfad,itisgenerallytruetosaytbattbefairersexwillgotogreat
lengthstoloolKandfeelbeautifulTbewon]enfolkin
n]odernsocietyspendagoodpartoftbeirincon]eon
expensiveclothesandcosn]etics.Tbeirchoiceofwhat
tobuyisbeavilyin{luencedanddictatedbythe
expensivepron]otionalgiInn]icksadoptedbyfashion
bousesandcosrneticcoInpanies.
Itisindeedsurprisingbowprofoundlywon]enare
interestedinclotbes.PorexaInple,ifan]anand
woIann]eetanotlIern]anandwon1anonthestreet,

tbewornanseldonIlooksattheotbern]an:sheusually
loolKstoseehowwelltheotherwornanisdressed.

Despitealltbeirseriousnessinthesearcbfor
beauty,peoplehaveforgottentouseasource
everyoneisendowedwitbbynaturebutnotoften

used.Tbeyn]issoutontbisnaturalsourceofbeauty.
Maybetbissourcehaseasilybeenoverlookedbecause
presentdaycosn]eticsprovideaconvenientsubstitute

226HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

togiveaninstantthougbfalseconceptionofreal
beauty.Inthisageoffastfoodsandallsortsofinstant
tbis,andinstanttbatn]anywoIenresorttoinstant
beautyaidsandcosn1eticsw}1icharereadilyavailable
inthen1arket.NowcoIningbacktoournatural
sourceofbeauty,weliketoask:W/hatcanthissource

ofbeautybe?Noneotbertbankindness,love,sirnplicityandthebeautyoftbeheart.Ofallthecosn]etics
available,thebestislovingkindness.Itisnatural,
inexpensiveandalwayseffective.Tbeonewhobas

tbisqualitylooksbeautifulevenwitbouthavingto
worryaboutwbatisappliedontbefaceordonetotbe
hair.

Evenifoneisbornwithplainlooks,onecanlook
radiantandattractiveifthevirtuesoflove,kindness

andpatiencearecultivated.Tbesevirtueswillgiverise
toaninternalcharn]thatwillradiateoutwards,

n]akingtbatpersonirresistible.Manypeoplewillbe
attractedtobinIorberbecauseofthatspecialcharn>as
beautynaturallyexudesfron]tbepersonsbody.
Unlikeexternalpbysicalbeautywbicbfadeslikea
flower,thisinternalbeautybasanauraofcbarnI
wbichcanoftenbeconIeIoreintenseinitsglowthe
rnoren]aturethepersonbecon]es.
Ontheother}Iand,evenifapersonisbornhandson]eandwit}]beautifulfeatures,n]anypeoplewillbe
turnedawayfron]suchapersonifheorsbeisiealous,
selfish,cunningandconceited.Butifthepersonis
overflowingwithloving-kindness,speaksgentlyand
politely,beorshewillbefarnIoreattractivethanthe

YOURBEAUTY

2Z>

so-calledbeautifulpersonwboisconceitedandfullof
pride.Abeautifulcon]plexioncanattractattention,
butfor}]owlong?Thereisnocon]plexionwbicbcan
reIainbeautifulespecial>yiftbepersonsn]indis
corrupted.Externalbeautywillsoonfadelikeall
tbingsnust.ThesayingtbateDMste
isindeedverytrue.Buttbebeautyoflovingkindness
reIains,andisappreciatedbyallalike
Tbeworldislikean]irror.Ifwelookatthen]irror

witbasn]ilingface,wewillseeafacesn]ilingbackat
us.Butifwelookatitwitbafrownorafaceofanger,
wewillalsoseethesan]eugly{acereflectedbackIn
thesanIeway,ifweweretoactwitbkindnessand

syn]pathy,t}]esarnegoodqualitieswillbereturnedto
us.Andwbenweperforn]noblevirtueswhicbarisein
tbebeart,theywillbetranslatedintogoodspeecband
deedswbicbareapparenttoall.
I{oneisborngoodlooking,oneshouldconsider
oneselftobefortunate.Tobebornbeautifulorhand-

sorneisablessingaccordingtotheBuddha.Butone
sbouldnot,onaccountoftbatbeauty,orbandsoIenessdeveloparroganceorconceit.Itwillonlyrnake
suchapersonrepulsivetootbersNotonlywilltbat
conceitworIKagainstapersonsappearance,butn]ore
in]portantly,itwillbeanobstacletoone,sspiritual
progressandhappiness.


ACCUMULATIONOF
W/EALTH

rJorogtoeCCgeotiM
oge

A!i!I

floodedwbentberiverburstitsbanks.I/hentherain

ceased,fiveorsixfriendsintbeviIagedecidedtotake
aboattotheoppositebank>ustastheywereinthe
midd}eo{tberiver,tbeboatstartedto{alIapart.Since
aIotbencouldswinveyweIl,theyIunpedinto
tberiverandstartedswin]mingacrosstothcother
bankOneo{tbe{riendswas{oundtobeswin]n]ing
veryslowlydespiteusingaIlhisstrength.

ACCUMULATlONOFWEALTH

229

Hey,wbyareyoufallingbebind?,bisfriends
sbouted.Youusedtoswin]bettertbantberesto{us

Ibaveatbousandcoinstiedroundn]ywaistand
theyareverybeavy!
Tbewaterisswiftandthecurrentisstrong.Take
t}]ecoinsoffandtbrowtben]away!tbeyadn]onisbed
biI.

Despitebisexbaustion,besboolKhisbeadbecause
becouldnotbeartopartwitbbisn]oney.
Son]eo{bis{riendsw}]oclin]bedontotbe{arsbore

sawtbatbewassinking{ast.Tbrowawaytbe
nIoney!,tbeysboutedagain.W/byn]ustyoubeso
stupid?Youareabouttosink!,
Butbestillbungontothen]oney,andwassoon
sweptawaybytheswi{triveranddrowned.
ContentIent

Noonecanreachthestateo{per{ecthappinessunless
bebringshiscovetousheartandIindundercon]plete
control.Solongasheseeksbisbappinessinthesatisfactiono{bisdesireforn]aterialgains,bewillnever

{indit.ItwillbeiustanelusivedreaIItisbun]anly
in]possibletoobtaineverythingonewis}]es,since
insatiabilityistbeverynatureo{craving.
C>ingingtoMoney

ThereligionoftbeIaterialisticworldtodayisdei{yingn]oney.Everybodywantstobericbquickly,ata}I
costsandbyanyn]eansavailable,whetberbyrig}]t{ul

23HOwTOLIEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

orwrongfulnetbodsTeworldissocaugbtupwitb
accuIulatingwealtbtbatt}Iebonourablevirtuesof
n]orality,bonesty,andintegrityseerntobavelost
tbeirinfluenceandn]eaningon}]un]anity.Undertbe
siegeo{n]aterialisn],huInanityisrapidlylosingsight
o{spiritualvalues.Itisnotwrongtobericb,ifsucb
gainsareobtainedthroughrigbt{uln]eans.Ill-gotten
gains,bowever,willleadtoproblen]s,dif{icultiesand
aguiltyconscience.
Inhispursuitofwealt}InIanhasIostsightoftbe
{acttbatn]oneyisn]erelyan]eanstoanend.Hebas
{ai}edtounderstandtbenaturen]eaningandpurpose
owealthHeisonlyinterestedinoneainiustto
baven]oreIoney.Asaresultbeendsupinablind
alleyfrustratedandcon{usedbecausebeisnonearer
totruebappinesstbanw}Ienbewaspoor.Tbisist}Ie
reasonwbyson]ericbn]enareunbappy,restlessand
n]iserablebecausetbey{ailtounderstandtbatn]oney
n]igbtbeabletobuythen]sensualandmundane
p>easuresbutnotbappiness.
Manycaseso{swindling,cheating,and{raudbave
beenreportedinthenewspapersinvolvingbillionso{
doIlars.T}]eseheinousactshavecauseduntoldsu{fer-

ingandevendeathtothoseunabletobeartbeirlosses
pbysicallyorInentally.Tbesedespicableactsare
con]Inittedbythoseboldingresponsiblepositions
Tbeyn]isusetheirinteIligenceandtbetrustpIacedin
then]bydishonestlyenrichingthernselvesattbe
expenseo{others.
Sucbun{ortunatedishonestyandbreacboftrustare

ACCUMULATlONOFWEALTH

231

tberesultoftbeobsessivepreoccupationwitbgetting
ricbasquicklyaspossible.Theirsoleain]inlifeis
ton]aken]oney,andn]oren]oney,andtheyareindifferenteventoreligiousadrnonitions.Honestyand
integrityn1eannotbingtot}]en]Theyneedn]ore
Ioneyforrnoreenioyn]entoftbeirsensesanddesire
forpossession
TheIhultyEquation

W/ecannotdenythefacttbataccurnulationofwealth
doesbringson]edegreeo{bappinessandsecurity.But
wesbouldnotn]aketheaccunIlationofwealththe

solepurposeofourlives,asishappeningnow,and
forgettbatt}]erearen]anyn]oret}]ingston>akelife
Ieaningfultbaniusttheacquisitiono{wealtb.To
n]aintainpeaceand}]arn]onyinourlives,wen]ust
adoptarealisticandreasonableattitudetowards
wealth

HelooteogseoglJJ
UeeOg.
ZO7b

Everybodyseeksbappiness,anditisquitenaturalto
doso.Unfortunately,n1anypeopleequatehappiness
wit}]wealtb.Toawisen]an,thisisafalseequation.
Tobavebutfewdesiresandsatis{actionwitbsin]ple
tbingsisasignofasuperiorInanAllgreatn]enled
sin]pIe,yetdignifiedlives,practisingsel{-restraintand

22HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

avoidingalltboseexcesseswhichencouragesensuality
anddissipatevitaIenergy.Toputitanotberway,
tbe{ewerthenecessities,tbegreatertbebappiness.
picurus,tbeGreekphilosopbersaystto
eOOCe5te

6es.

I/ealthandprosperityarenottbeonlywayto
acbievebappiness,sincetheperpetuallyandsingularly
discontentedn]indcannotbesatis{iedbyn]erepbysicalcon]{ortMosto{ourdailyneedscanbequite
easiIyn]et,butnotourinsatiabledesiresIn{actapersonwbocouldsin]pIi{yhiswantscangetagreatdeal
n]oreoutofhisli{eMan,sbodyneedsverylittlefor
itsupkeep.Manypeopletendtoeattoon]ucbespeciaIIyi{tbeycana{{ordit.Theylivetoeat,noteatto
liveW/eneednotbavetospendalottoclotbeourselvesdecenty.AsSocratesoncesaid:GoooM
CCOte5POexeJeUO
eetMstteegleeoe
eJogJgetejtoee
rooctegeteJMie5Joefge
toegSMuj
UsingW/ealthProper!y
I/eaIthsbouldbeusedwellandwiseIy.Itistobeused
{oryourwel{areaswellasotbers.Ifapersonspends
bistin]eclingingtobisproperty,withoutfuI{illinghis

obIigationstowardsbiscountry,peopleandreligion,
bewilIeadanen]ptyIi{ep}aguedwitbworries.

ACCUMULAT<ONOPWEALTH

23

Pinally,wbenthetiIecornes{orbin]toIeavethis
world,bewillrealisetoolatetbatbebadnotIade{ull

useofbiswealthNoone,includingbin]sel{,bas
reallybene{ited{ron>tbewealtbhebadsopainstakinglyaccun]ulated
TheBuddbabasadvisedusagainsttbe{oolisbness
o{clingingonselfisblytoourproperty,witbout
atteInptingtoin1provetbequalityofli{eandbappinessofotbers.YoPeDeZeo
6YoesesujOOPtO
ogDBo0ogooo
Ueoe!gObteCCop
OeOtegZe
Manbastbepotentialtodogoodorcon]n]itevil
However,witbdeceitapersonisabletotwistand
turnn]atterstobisadvantageinordertoiusti{yany
disbonestandunet}Iicalactben]ayconI]it.W/ben
anybadactiscon]n]itted,itisbettertocallaspadea
spadeandadn]itwrongdoingtoonesel{.Otberwise,
onewil}continuetobecbainedtot}]eevi}so{unsatis-

{actoriness.EvenMussoliniandHitlerclaiIedtbey
badgoodn]otiveswhentbeycausedthesu{feringso{
otbers.Sowouldatigress,whenshecarriesawaya
cbildtofeedbercubsI{youwanttobetrulyhappy,
youn>ustclearlyexarnineyouractionstodetern]ine
tbatt}]eyarenotn]otivatedbysel{interestbut{ortbe
welfareofa}lbeingsItistin]e,there{ore,tbatwetake
a{resbsurveyofoursituationandreexan]ineanewtbe
valueswehold.

Perbapstbispoen]byanunknownauthorcanbelp

23HOWTOLlVEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

ustohaveabetterunderstandingofthevalueo{
noney.

WtCyoJB
AMOtse
BOOJOtOege
OtOMte
HeUOM,e
AOEOtOe
MCM,OMe

LeotcOmbt
PeeJOte5J
MgOOtJUtO
sOtttMsOJtti5e
JtJtetoOtOe,
Soeotegge
fgoogJcceJeto6

25
IVNGINHARMONY
W/ITHOTHERS

LtgOOteJeg
OtAteMfpoteJo

A!:

wen]ustrecognisetbattherearen]anypatbspeople
cantaketoreachtbesaIegoal.Therefore,wesbould
notbeundulyupsetifotberpeoplepractisetbeirown
custon]sorbaveopinionswbicharedi{{erent{ron]
ours

MannersandCuston>s

T}]estandardo{goodn]annersdi{feran]ongpeople

236HOWTOLIEWlTHOUTFEAR&WORRY

belongingtodifferentsocieties.InsoIecountries,
guestsatdinnerareexpectedtoeatasnoisilyas
possible.ItisalsonotconsiderediInpolitei{tbeguests
belchattbeendoftben]ealsincetbiswouldindicate

totbebosttbattbeybadreallyenjoyedtben]eal.
Eatingriceandcurriesbyusingtbefingersislooked
downuponbyson]epeople.TosoIeotberseating
riceandcurriesusingaforkandspoonislikecarrying
onaronIanticrelationsbiptbrougbaninterpreter.
Sucbtablen]annerswouldbeconsideredrude,ill-

n>anneredinotbersocieties.W/bileinonecountry,
puttingonesfingerinone,sn>outbornose{orany
reasonisconsideredn]ostinsulting,itn]ayn]ean

notbinginsoIeotbercountries.Son>epeopletbinkit
isdegradingtobestruckbyashoe,yetan]ongotber
people,aslippercanbeusedforspankingacbild.
I/ediscovertbepeculiaritiesoftben]annersand
custoIsprevailinginotbersocietiesn1ostnoticeably
wbentravelling.Wesbouldnotpreiudgen]annersand
custoItooquicklyastowbatisproperorin]proper
Inthen]selves,Iannersareneitbergoodnorbad,but
wbentbeycauseiIeelingsinotbers,tbenthiscanbe
consideredasbadn]anners

W/earelivinginanevercbangingworldW/esbould
notclingblindlytothetraditions,custon]s,n]anners
ritesandritualspractisedbyourforefatbersorancestorswboadoptedtbesepracticesaccordingtotheir
beliefsandunderstandingcapacityprevalentatthat
tin1e.Son]ecustoInsortraditionsbandeddownby

ourancestorsn>aybegood,wbileotbersarelessuse-

LIlNGlNHARMONYWlTHOTHERS23>

{ul.I/esbouldconsiderwithanopenn]indwbetber
tbesepracticesarecongenialandsigni{icanttotbe
n]odernworId

IntbeKalan]aSutta,tbeBuddbahasgiventhis
adviceaboutcuston]s,traditions,beIiefsandprac-.
tices:W/benyouknow{oryourselftbatcertaintbings
areunwboIesoneJandwrongandbadfor
youandothers,thengivetben]upAndwbenyou
know{oryourselvestbatcertainthingsarewbolesoneandgoodforyouandotbers,tben
accepttben]andfolIowthen].,
Son]eelderlypeoplecannottoleratetbenIodern
ideasandwayso{Iivingoftbeyoungergeneration.
TbeyexpecttheircbiIdrento{ollowthesan]eageoId
custon]sandtraditionso{tbeirfore{athers.Insteadof

adoptingsucbanattitude,tbeyshou}dallowtbe
cbi>drenton]ovewitbtbetin]esi{tbeactivitiesare
barn]less.ElderssbouldcalIton]indbowtheirown

parentsbadobiectedtocertainpopularn]odesof
bebaviourprevaIentattbetin]ewbentheywere
young.Tbesedifferencesinperceptionbetweentbe
conservativeparentsandtbeyoungergenerationisa
coInn]onsourceo{con{lictwitbin{an]iIiesoftoday.
Tbisdoesnotn]eanthatparentsshouldhesitateto
counselandguidetheircbildreniftbeybavegone
astrayduetoson]eerroneousvaluesButwben
correctingt}Ien],theysbouldobservetbeprinciple
tbatpreventionisbettertbanpunisbn]entParents
shouIdalsoexplaintotheircbildrenwbytbeydisapproveorapproveo{certainvalues.

238HOWTOLlVEWITHOUTFEAR&WORRY

A>>owingOtherstl>eRighttoDiffer
I{apersonlivesallbybinIself,tbenbewillnotbave
anyproblen]witbdifferingopinions.Butifwebave
cbosentoliveinsociety,weInustlearntorespectand
dealwitbviewsandopinionsofotherseventbougb
theydonotconforIwitbours
UTbant,tbeforn]erSecretaryGeneraloftbe
UnitedNationsbassaidtbatwhenbewasinhisoffice

hetookgreatcarenottopusbbispersonalbeliefsand
traditionalpracticesontbosebeworkedwitbeither
byexan>pleorspeechV/benbewasatbon>ebowever,
befollowedbisBurn]esetraditionsconcerning
language,{oodandreligionfully.Tbissbowsbowat
leastonegreatrnanneverusedbispersonalinfluence
toforceotberstoacceptbisownbeliefandwayof
li{e.

V/earealsolivinginaworldwhereIightisstronger
tbanrigbt.Tbestrongtakesadvantageoftbeweak
andtbericbexploitstbepoorV/esbouldavoidacting
intbisway.Ifwecannotagree,wehavetolearnat
leasttoagreetodisagree.V/esbouldexpressourviews
gentlyandpolitelywithouttryingtoirnposeviewson
othersbyforceTbosewbousepbysicalforcetoovercoIetbeiropponentsclearlyshowtheirinabilityto
convincetbeopponentstbattbeyarerigbt.
V/efindcoInfortintbosewboagreewitbus,but

personalgrowtboccursinsituationswberetbereare
dif{erencesinviewsSon]etin>est}Ieopinionotbers
baveo{ourattitudesoractionsn1aynotbeson]et}]ing

LlNCNHARMONYwlTHOTHERS29

wewouldliketobear.Buti{welistentothen]care-

{u>ly,wewi}IreaIisetbatthereareson]etruthsinthose
opinions.Tbiscangiveusachanceforsel{in]proveInenti{wearepreparcdtocbangeourwaysand
approacbcs.Thewor>dis>ikeagardenwitbdi{{erent
kindso{{lowers.Likeabeegatheringboney{ron]a
flower,weshouIdbeselectiveincboosingwbatis
goodandlcavebehindwbatisnotuseful.Itisin]possible{orustopIeaseeverybodywhenwewantto
doson]ething,becausedi{{erentpeopIebavedi{{erent
opinionsononeparticularissue.

==

WEcoteseefyo.Onceananandbisson
weretakingadonkeytotben]arke[.Astbevwere
walking,son]epeopIesawtbemandren]arked,Look
attbese{ools,whydon)ttbeyridetbedonkey>,Tbe
n]anbeardtbisandaskedtbesontoridethedonkev

whilehewalkedalongside.Anoldwon]anseeingtbis
ren]arked,I/batistheworldcon]ingto>Lookattbat
youngIhanridingcon]{ortabIywIeben]akesbis
poor{at}]erwaIk!Sotbeyoungn]angotdownand
thistin]ethe{atberrodetbedonkey.Astbeywent
aIong,a>/oungwon]anpassingbysaid,Wb>/don,t
botI]o{>/ougctonthcanin]aI>,SotI]cy|istcnedtoI]er
andbothrodcontbeanin]alYetanotbergroupwbo
sawtben]said,Ob!I/batapooranin]aI.I[basto
carryt}]osetwo{atgood-{or-notI]ings!HowcrueI
son]epeopIecanbe!Bythistin]etbe{atberandson

2HOWTOLEWTHOUTFEARWORRY

weregettingquite{edupTheydecidedtodisIount
andcarrytbedonkeyinsteadsoastostopeveryone
froIta}king.Tbisledpeopletolaugbandsay,look
attbesebuIandonkeys,carryingadonkey.O{
coursetbedonkeydidnotliketbispeculiararrangeInentatallV/hilstapproachingariver,itstruggled
vigorouslytosetitselffreeand{inallytbeIan,bisson
andtheirdonkeyaIandedtben]selvesintbewater.
=

p0

0D

I/henyoutryandp>easeeveryone,youwillendup
pleasingnooneandintbeend,youwillonlyland
yoursel{introuble.
PatienceandTolerance

TbosewbocanreInaincbeer{uIduringdi{ficulttin]es
areadIirableandasourceofinspirationtootbers

Tbeycanavoidcon{lictsbyseeingtbeligbtersideof
things.Awisen]ancanavoidaquarrelbyanswering
iokesandren]arksdirectedathin]witbanotberioke
V/benpeoplebuIiliateuswen]ustlearnbowto
{acetbenIgentIybygoodbun]ouredlyturningtbe
iokeagainsttheIn.

-P

AoeeJoe.Oncetberewasafanous
EnglishIanwbowenttoaparty.I/benbewasoutof
theroon],bis{riendsdecidedtopIayapractical}oke

onbin]Tbeypaintedthe{aceo{anassontbeback

LIlNGlNHARMONYW<THOTHERS

2l

o{bisovercoat.Tbepartyendedandastben]anwent
togethiscoat,benoticedtbepainting.Insteado{gettingangrybecaln]lyasked,Didanyonewipehis{ace
onn]ycoattbisevening>His{riendso{coursewere
surprisedattbisquestion.HeexpIained,Well,Iiust
askedbecausetbein]pressiono{bisfaceren]ainson
tbebacko{n]ycoat.
<

DP

PD

=PD

W/hatsbouldyoudowhenyouIoseinagan]e?You
shouldnotsbowyourten]per,sincebydoingsoyou
willnoton}yspoiItbe{uno{tbegan]ebutalsoIose
your{riends,respect.
Everypersonisresponsibleforn]akingabetter
worldbyplantingtbeseedsofpatience,Ioveand
honestydeeplyinthebuInanheart.Eventually,anew
erawiIblosson]duringbisli{etin]ebringingbene{itto
hisgenerationandtbegcnerationstocon]e.Heisa
culturedn]anwhoknowsbowto{acedi{{icultieswitb

syn]pathyandunderstanding.
TbenIarko{agreatn]anliesinhowbefacesdaiIy
irritationswithequanin]ity.

-P

H2sotsettWece.AgreatIndian
BuddbistteacberVen.Dipankarawasinvitedto
TibettopreachtheDhan]rna.Theteacbertookalong
withbiman]anwbowasnotonlyquarrelson]eand
irresponsiblebutabadcookasweII.A{terobserving

22HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

bin]forquitesonIetinIetbeTibetansapproac}Iedthe
teacberrespectfullyandsaid,Master,whydoyou
toleratetbisuselesscoolKofyourseisnoreofa
nuisancethanabelptoyou.W/hydontyousend
hiIbaclK?W/ewillgladlyattendtoyourneeds.Tbe
teacbersn]iledandreplied,Ah!youdontunderstand,IdonotlKeep}IinIasrnyservantbutasn1y
teacber.,T}IeTibetansweresurprisedandaskedHow
istbatso?,Tbeteacherexplained,Yousee,}Iisine{ficiencyandbisquarrelson]enatureteachnIeto
practisepatienceandtoleranceeveryday.Therefore,I
valuebin].
` p=0

Son>ernaysaythattbequalityo{patienceandtoleranceisin]practicalandtooidealistictobefollowed.
SoIearecynicalandwonderifIanwboisstruggling
toekeoutaliving{ron]a}]ostiIeworldcanreallybe
interestedincultivatingloveandkindness.V/hileitis
noteasytopractisethesequalitiestbeyarepossible
witbperseveranceanddetern]ination.T}IeBuddba
andbisdisciplesprovedtbistobetrueonnun]erous
occaslons

Diplon>acy

Youcannotbopetoacbievepeacebycorrectingeach
andeverypersoninthisworld.IntbesanIeway,you
cannotren]ovetbeworldo{stonesandthornssotbat

tbepatbwayn]aybesn]ootbTofeelcoIfortable
walkingonunevenground,weshouldtrywearinga

LlVINGINHARMONYWlTHOTHERS2

pairofsboesinstead.Likewise,wesbouldlearnto
guardoursensestobavepeaceofrnindsincewecannotsucceedinren]ovingdisturbingobiectsfroIthe
world.

Tberearen]anywaystocorrectapersonifbeis
wrong.Bycriticising,blanIingandsboutingatbinI
public>y,youwillnotbeabletocorrecthin]butyou
onlyIakebin]Ioreadan]antinbisviews.
Speaktobin]kindlyinpointingoutbisn]istakes,
beisn]orelikelytolistentoyou,andson]edaybewill
tbankyouforyourguidanceandkindness.
W/heneveryouexpressyourviewsregardingcertain
n]atters,avoidbars}]wordsspolKenwit}Iangersoas
nottohurtthefeelingsofotbers.Alwaysexpressyour
viewsgentlyorpolitelyOntheother}Iand,you
sbouldnotloseyourternperorsbowyoursulkyface
w}]enyourfaultsarepointedout.Youn]aythinkthat
bylosingyourten>per,sbowinganuglyface,and
shoutingatotbers,youcanintiIidateothersinorder
thattbeyn]ayoverlookyourshortcoIings.Tbisisa
wrongattitudetoadopt.Rudeness,yellingangerand
swearingareaweakn]an,siInitationo{strength
H.H.theDalaiLan]aoncesaid:W/henIn]eet

anotberbun]anbeing,Iwouldneverconsiderabout
hisrace,colour,creedorstatusinlife.V/batIwould
feelisthatIbaven]etanotbern]en]berofour}Iun]an

fan]ily.
ToknowmoreabouthumanproblemsreadW/hitherMankind?,
bythesameauthor

26
MANCANCHANGEHIS
ENVIRONMENT

MZMsreCeOtIteCo
irCe.

Mbu

unerringlyandinexorably,arenotswayedbypraises,
prayersorsacri{icesTbeyoperateatthepbysicaland
n]entalrealIswitbouttbeinterventiono{alaw-giver
Oneofsucbnatura}lawswbichbaveastrongbearing
ontbequalityofbun]anlifeistbecosn]iclawof
kaIn]a.Thislawoperatesattben]oralspbere.
I/boleson]eandunw}]oleson]eactsperforn]edby
thougbt,wordanddeedwillinduetin]eproducetbeir

MANCANCHANGEHlSENVlRONMENT25

correspondinggoodandbadresults.
Ifan]aniscruelperforn]swickedacts,anddoes
notliveinconforIitywitbthenaturalcosrniclaws,
hepollutestbewboleatn]ospherewitbbisunwbolesoIedeeds.Asaresultofsuchunwboleson]edeeds

unfavourableresultswillarisen1akingitdifficultfor
binItoleadabappy,contentedandpeacefullife.He
createsunbappinessforbiInselfandotherswitbbis
pollutedn]ind.Ontbeotberband,ifbelivesincon{orn]itywitbthenaturalcosn]iclawandleadsa
rigbteousandblaIelessli{e,bepurifiestbeatrnospberewithtbenIeritsofhisvirtues.W/itbbispositive
n]entalvibrationsbein{luencestbosearoundbin]as

wellascreatesanenvironn]entconducivetopeaceand
bappiness.
Cu>tivatingVirtue

Butvirtueandapositivefran]eofn]indarenotqualitieswbicbariseinapersonauton]aticallyPorn]any,
itissoeasytogiveintoanger,iealousy,illwill,vengeance,selfisbness,especiallywhenunderpressureor
con]petitionEffortisneededforapersontoreturn
goodinthefaceofunfavourableconditions.Heneeds
aclearappreciationoftbein]portanceofpractising
virtueandtbeneedtoovercon]ebatred,egoisticpride
andselfisbdesires.
q

-P

<

WtiSCteCOncetherewasananwbo

lovedto{latterothers{orhispersonalgain.He

z6HOWTOLEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

obtainedapieceofiadeonedayandtriedtopresent
ittoan]inister.Despitepersuasions,then]inister
refusedtoacceptt}Ieiade.
Tbernansaid,Tbisisarealtreasure!Noordinary
personisworthyo{usingit.Onlyapersonofyour
calibrecanuseit.Itisonlyappropriatethattbispiece
ofiadebeownedandwornbyyou.
Youn]ayconsidertbisiadetobeatreasure,said
t}]euprightn]inister.ButIan]noteasilytakeninby
{>attery.ThisisnIytreasure!,
,

Virtueiscultivatedtbrougbconscientioustraining.
Apersonwhowishestoacquirevirtuesshouldn]ake
itababittocultivaternoralqualitiesindailylife.In
thesan]en]annerastudentrnustworkonbislessons

consistentlyinordertobesuccessfulinbisstudies.In
tbebeginning,bebastodrawoneveryef{ortand
deterIinationtodeveloppositivequalities,especially
i{bebasastronginclinationtowardsnegativetendencies.Tbroug}]tbeapplicationo{n]ind{ulnessand
c{fort,becanreversetbesenegativetendenciesand
cultivategoodn]ental,verbalandbodilyhabits.Once
tbesegoodbabitsareinplaceanddevelopedthrough
practice,atinIewillcon]ewbenbewillfinditincreasinglydifficuIttocornn]itnegativeandunwboleson]e

actionsTbeationstbatariseronbinwillnaturaly

bespontaneous,creativeandskilfulgoodtbougbt
habits,leadtobappiness.

MANCANCHANGEHlSENRONMENTz

Usingtl>eMindCreative>y

MindistbealInigbty,all-powerfultheon]nipotent
creatoro{goodandevil.Mindistbecauseofallevils
andallevilsaren]ind-n1ade.Itcanalsobetbecauseof

all}Iappinessprosperityandpleasure,foralltbese
statesaren>ind-n]ade.Isitnotan]azingtbattbougb
ourn]indiswitbinus,yetwedonotknowitsnature?
Butsornepeopleclairntbattbeycanreadthen]indsof
others.Noonecanseethefuture>eastofallones
own
kkk

Rezgoei.Aproessionaln1ind-reader
wasn]akingafortunebyclain1ingtbat}]ewasableto
readtbetbougbtsofotberpeopleOnedayayoung
n]ancan]etobiIn.HeslIowedbin1abigstickandsaid,
Readn]yn]ind.An1Igoingtobeatyouornot?Tbe
n1ind-readersawtbepredican]entbewasin.The
youngn1anwoulddenyitifbesaideitberyesorno.
BeingunabletoreadtbeyoungIansIind,tben]ind
readersawthatitwasbesttosaynothing.

00

<

<

TbeBudd}]adidnotregardevilasson]etbingtobe
atonedforthrougbasaviourbutadefilen]entarising

{ron]ignorancewbicbbastobeoutgrownthrougb
wisdoI.Hereiectedasatbeological{ictiontbebelief
thatIaniscursedbyaGod,borninsinshapedin
iniquity,anddestinedtoaIiserableeternity.Intbe
viewo{tbeEnligbtenedOne,everypersonbasthe

28HOWTOLIVEWITHOUTFEARWORRY

capacityfortbepursuitofgoodness,andeventhe
rnostviciouspersoncanbybisorherowneffort
becon]ean]ostvirtuousbeing.Andanycrin]e,howevergreat,isnotpunisbablebyanunendingeternity
ofsuffering.
Tbinkoft}]en]indasatoolItcanbeconstructive

i{usedwellordestructiveifusedbadly.Thecboiceis
uptous.Asingletbougbtcansetof{acbainreaction
ofdeedst}Iatcaneitherbringbappinessorsadnessin
itspathItisforthisreasontbatson]ucben]phasisis
placedonn]indtraininginBuddbisn],sinceawelltrainedn]indisclearlytbekeytoabappypeacefuI
andcontentedlife.

Tben]indisson]ewbatlikeelectricity.Tbeelectric
currentcankillapersonw}Iograspsalivewireiustas
readilyasitwillfloodbisbon]ewit}Iligbt.Son]uc}]
dependsonbowitisused.Sin]ilarly,apersonwbo
perforn]sevildeedsandignorestbelawoftben]indis
onlyinvitingsufferingConversely,t}]en]asteryo{bis
Inindcanbringbin>greatbappiness.
TbeBuddbasays:Rtteeeeg
!tJeIPoeobeettis
noteasytocontrolourevilthougbts,andevenIore
difficulttorenounceunwholeson]etboughtso{lust,
bateanddelusion,wbicbcanonlybeeradicated
througbn]indtraining

Tbougbtsarebebindoureveryaction.Tberepeated
perforn]anceo{tbeseactionsinturndetern]ineour
characterIfwetbinkkindly,webecoInekind;i{we
thinkcruelly,webecon]ecrueI;ifwetbinkdeceit-

MANCANCHANGEHlSENVlRONMENT29

{ully,webecon]edeceitful;ifwetbinkbonestly,we
becon1ehonest;andifwetbinkcon]passionately,we
beconIecon]passionate.Sucbistbee{{ectofour
thougbtsonourbehaviourandnature
OurMission

Itis,tberefore,in]portantforustodevelopour
thougbtsofcon>passionandwisdoInsoastodevelop
our}Iun]anequalities.W/esbouldbehappytobeborn
asburnanbeings.Beingbornbun]anistberesultof
ourpastgoodactionsAshun]ans,webavetbeunparalleledopportunitytoacquiren]eritsanddevelop
wisdon]tberebycontributingtoourwell-beingand
bappinessLetusliveali{e{illedwithpurposeand
addqualitytobuIanexistence.W/esbouldnotwaste
ourbun]anbirthbyabusingthisprivilegeandcoIn]ittingunwholesorneactionsw}Iicbsurelyleadto
rnisery.Donotletourdayspassbyliketbesbadowof
acloud,leavingnotracebehind
W/hatisneededtodayisthereturntothewisdonIof
tbepast,whicbisalsotbebigbestwisdon]ofthe
future.YetitisnotiusttbewisdoIoftbepastorthe
future.Itistheeternalwisdon]discoveredbytbe
Budd}IaanditbelongstoallagesandallracesofIankind.Itistbewisdon]oft}]eDbaIn]aTbiswisdoIn

islikeadeepwel>,fedbyperennialsprings.Letus
draw{ron]tbisperennialspringofwisdon]for
witboutit,lastingpeaceandrealprogressforindividualsaswellasnationswillbein]possible.

2
HUMANDIGNITY

IMMeecebeetOJ
ttoseqfobortJeJggiZe
eMoeegeuCetooJ.

wbichisrelevanttothissin]pleandyetson]et1Inesconfusingsubiecttouc}IingonbuIandignity.
W/hatarethehunIanequalitieswhichgiveriseto
dignityandnobility?Theyarebasedontben]oral,
etbical,intellectualandspiritualnorIswhicbwe
buIanbeingsupholdandtreasureinourday-to-day
relationsbipswitboneanot}Ier.Asburnanbeingswe

HUMANDlGNlTY

25>

haven]indswhichwecandeveloptosuchanextent
tbatwecandi{ferentiatebetweenwbatisrigbtand
wbatiswrong,betweenwbatweshouldbeproudo{
andwbatweshouldbeasbaIedofThesearehun]ane

qualitiestbatweallcherishas}Iun]anbeings.Itisin
cberishingsucbvaluestbatwedistinguishourselvesas
hun]anbeingsandnotanin1als
Tobeabletodeveloponesrnindonernustbeableto
developandsustainonestbinkingpowerw}Iicbistbe
abilitytoiudgebetweenwbatisethicalandwbatis
unetbical,w}]atisn]oralandirnn]oral,whatisgood
andwhatisbadandwbatisrightandwbatiswrong
Tbeseareattributeswitbintbegraspofbun]anbeings.
Aninalsdonotbavesucattributesaninalsactby
instinct.Itwouldappeartbatbun]anbeingsaretbe
onlylivingbeingstbatcandeveloptbeirrnindsortheir
tbinkingpowertosucIhighlevelseventotIeextent
o{attainingBuddbabood.
MoralShan>eandMora>Fear

Be{oretbeadventofworldreligions,hun]anbeings
wereguidedbytwovaluable{actors,w}]icbinprin]itivetin]es,contributedtotbeupboldingo{tbedignity
ofnan.TbeyareHandOrm.H,istIe
shan]eapuren]indfeelsatthetboughtofdoingevil.
OistbeaversionwbichcausesonetosbrinlK
{ron]doingevil.MoralsbarneandMoral{earinvariablygovernallactionsofthebun]anbeingTbe
anin]a}isguidedonlybytbeinstinctofsurvival,and
doesnotactthroug}Iasenseo{n]oralityHowever,

252HOWTOLlVEWITHOUTPEAR&WORRY

wbenhun]anbeingssuccuInbtotbeevile{fectso{
drugs,liquor,lust,anger,greed,envy,sel{is}Inessand
bate,tbeylosetbeirbalanceTbeydenytbeIselves
tberig}IttobunIandignityandbecon]elikeanin]als.

V/bileweprideourselvesascivilisedbun]anbeings,
wenotewitbdeepregrettbebebaviourandattitudes
ofsoIeofourpeoplewbicbcanbedescribedasno
bettertbanthoseofanin]alsTbisiscertainlynota
developnIenttbatwewanttoencourageforrnankind.
AbunIanbeingwboisworthyofrespect,sbouldbe
onewbobastheattributesofPearandSban]e,whois

kind,con]passionateandsyn]patbetictootbers,who
isa{raidtocausebarn]tootbersbutiseverprepared
tolendabelpingbandwbeninneed.TheseareordinarybunIanvalueswbicbwesbouldallcherisband
upbold.W/esboulddevelopourbun]anequalitiesand
notviolatetben]Bybeingofservicetootbers,we
developgreatvirtueswbicbareinberentinus.By
beingo{servicetootbers,wesbowaspiritofunderstanding,kindness,con]passion,bonesty,sin]plicity
gentleness,buIilityandcontentn]entTbeseare
worthyburnanvalueswbicbwesbouldbeproudto
acqulre.

DifferentCharacteristicsofHun>anBeings
Tberearecertaincbaracteristicsinourbun]annature

wbichwebavetoguardandnurturecarefullyinto
usefulburnanvalues.Rougblyspeakingtbesecbaracteristicsaredividedintothreeaspects,our
nature,ournatureandouruenature.

HUMANDlGNlTY

25]

Tbesetbreecbaracteristicsin{luenceourbebaviourin

variousdegrees.Iwegivewaytooure
witboutn]akinganye{{orttosubdueorcontrolour
uglyactionswewillbecon]ealiabilitytosocietj/.
Religionisanin]portanttoolwl]icbcanbelpusto
controlouranin]alnatureReligion,witbtbenoble
teacbingscon]ing{rornillustriousreligiousleaders,
sbouldserveasaguideforproperbuIanebebaviour
Religionalsoservesasatoolforustocultivate,
nurtureandin]proveontbevariousaspectsofour
biddene.BycultivatingandinIproving
ourbun]annature,weultiIatelyachieveourdivine
goalweattainouriuee.Byacbievingdivine
nature,weacbievetbelevelofdeveloprnentatwbich
thebaseen]otionso{greed,lust,anger,batred,
iealousy,envyandotberunwelcoIeattributesare
coIpletelyelin]inated,tbusInakingthebuIanbeing
n]orenobleandworthyo{tbehigbestrespect.V/ith
tbebelpo{religion,wecontrolandsubdueouranin]al
nature,wecultivateandin]proveourbun]annature,
andweacbieveourdivinenature

Tbisdivinenaturedependsontbedevelopn]entof
goodwiIlorfriendlinessorcarefortbewelfareof
othersconIpassionorkindnesssyn]patheticioyat
otbers,progressandin]partiaIitytowardsgainorloss
andpraiseorblan]eThisisalsoknownastbesublin]e
state.

ItisironicaltbatI]anyreligionistsarestiIlunder
tben]isapprebensiontbatonecanacbieveonesdivine
goalbytbesin]pleacto{prayingorworsbippingand

25HOWTOLEWlTHOUTFEARWORRY

thesirnpleperforn]anceofcertainritesandrituals.
Thisattitudcrnustbecbanged.W/e}Iaveourduties
andobligationsto{ulfillinorderthatwen]ayliveas
realanddignifiedhun]anbeings.W/ehavetocultivate
anddeveIopourhun]annatureinordertoacbieveour
divineattributesW/en]ustpractiseallt}Iebun]an

valuesforthegoodandwelI-beingofbuIanity.W/e
rnustdoalltbegoodwecananderadicatealltbatis
evil.Thereligionso{tbeworldbavebeendeveloped
toguideusands}Iowust}Iecorrectpat}Itolivein
peaceandbarn]ony.AlIreligionsshouldprovidetbeir
followerswithiI]portantandsuitabIeguidelinesto
enableeveryonetoliveandworktogetberwit}I
n]utualrespect,understandinganddignity.AscoreIigionistsweshouldallbeabletolivewitbone

anotherwitboutbarbouringanyhatrediealousy,
enn]ityorfeelingsofsuperiority.Buddbisn]givesus
sucbguidance.
Oneofthegoldenrulestoleadadignifiedlifeisto
baveabalancedlivelihoodwithoutinanywaygoing
intoextren]esTbeBudd}Mdoesnotadviseusto

tortureourbodyorourIindintbecauseo{religion.
V/ecanpractiseourreligionasrationalbeings.Donot
overdothingsSbouldnotforgettben]ostin]portant
aspectoifeourspiritualdevelopnent.Tbeteacb
ingo{tbeBuddbacanbecategorisedinthreeways:
happiness{orthislife,bappiness{ortbebereafterand
bappinessfortbeultinateacbievenentNibbana.In
tbepursuito{t}]esethreekindsofbappiness,an]an
canacbievedignityandnobility.

I/ithbadadvisorsfbreverleftbehind,

ProIpathsofcvilhedcpartsfbretern1ty,
SoontoseetbeBuddbaofLi1nitlessLight
AndperctSanantabhadra,sSupreeVws.
Thesupren]eandendlessblessings
ofSamantabhadra,sdeeds,

Inowun1versallytransr.
Mayevcrylivingbeing,drown1ngandadrift,
SoonreturntothcLandof

Li1nitlessLigbt!
TheVwsofSaIantabhadra

Ivowthatwbenrnyliapproachesitsend,
Allobstruct1onswillbesweptaway;
IwillseeAInitabhaBuddha,
AndbeborninhisLandofUltiIateBlissandPeace

WbenrebornintbeI/CsternLand,

IwillperctandcopletelyfUlfill
I/ithoutexceptiontbeseGreatVws
Tbdelightandbencfitallbeings.
TheVwsofSainantabhadra

AvataIsalKaSutra