A Guide to Online Dating

A Guide to Online Dating.......................................................................2

What is This Book About?...............................................................2
Which Site Do I Use?..........................................................................3
Set up Your Prole..............................................................................3
1. Honesty is the Best Policy......................................................3
2. Keep it Drama-Free.................................................................3
3. Pictures are Worth a Thousand Words..........................3
Things to do Before Meeting.........................................................4
Rule #1: Talk on the phone rst...............................................4
Rule #2: Google their name and add them to your
social media.....................................................................................4
Rule #3: Do a reverse image search.....................................4
Time to Meet up...................................................................................5
Ok Sally, now were ready to meet each other, what
do we do?........................................................................................5
Where should we meet?.........................................................6
Great! Now Ive made plans, Im good to go! Hold
your horses, not quite..................................................................6
Preparing for the Meeting...............................................................7
What Guys Should Wear:..........................................................7
What Women Should Wear:....................................................7
When Things Go Wrong At a Meeting Despite Your Best
Efforts.......................................................................................................7

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

The Meeting: GAH! Nervousness Sets In..................................8

To Kiss or Not to Kiss That is the Question!.........................8
The Meeting is Over; Now What?................................................9
1. You had a great time................................................................9
2. You didnt really nd a connection...................................9
Rejection: A Touchy Subject..........................................................9
What do I do if Im rejected?...............................................10
How do I reject someone without hurting them?.....10
Dating After the First Meeting....................................................10
REMEMBER THIS!...............................................................................11

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

A Guide to Online Dating

?

WHAT IS THIS BOOK ABOUT?

This book is a guide to online dating, showing you how to

do it in the safest and most successful way!
I have met many people online, and through trial and
error, have found the best method to nding a good match.
Let me show you how to be successful too
As more and more of us are glued to our cellphones, less
of us are being social in the real world and giving ourselves
the opportunity to meet new people. So for the ones who
dont like the idea of joining a local hockey recreational
league, or meeting people in bars or grocery stores, online
dating seems to be the way to go.
Now before we begin delving into the nitty gritty, let me
be perfectly clear that just because youre serious about
dating or meeting someone of quality online, doesnt
necessarily mean everyone else online has the same
agenda. I know youve probably heard of the horror stories
like the Manti Teo debacle, where people go online with a
fake persona tricking their victims into thinking theyre
someone else. So the t, handsome young man youve been
talking to ends up actually being a 300lb, middle-aged

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

balding man who is bored out of his mind and likes the false
sense of companionship hes created with you. Its crazy
but those people are out there.
With this in mind, I will actually teach you how to avoid
and easily sniff out those individuals, so you dont waste
your time and emotions (Most of it is pure common sense
though, I mean really, if someone keeps avoiding a
meet-up, theres something wrong, right?).

Above

all else, the

single best advice I can
give you is always go
with your gut.
It is your sixth sense and your guide. If something inside
you is telling you not to trust someone, then just dont. You
dont need a reason to stop talking to a person that your
gut is telling you to get away from. Period. So if you stop
reading this eBook now, or get nothing else from this guide,
I hope you at least take away this important piece of advice!
So, all that being said, lets get to it

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

3
WHICH SITE DO I USE?
So the rst step of dating online is nding the right site
to sign-up for. There are free sites like pof.com and paid
sites like eharmony.com. Additionally, there are sites
tailored
to
different
religions
and
even
race
(christianmingle.com and asiandating.com). Find the one
that is a good t for you, and sign up.

tip

Typically if you have to pay for the site, the

people on it are more serious about nding
someone great to date. As such, the free sites
probably have more people on them who are not
as serious about meeting people, just killing time
when theyre bored, or not as motivated to nd a
good match. This isnt true in all cases, but if you
think about it logically, someone who is paying
money to meet someone is probably going to take
it more seriously. Just bear that in mind when
youre deciding which site to join.

KEEP IT DRAMA-FREE
Nobody wants to know about how your heart was
broken by the last person you were with. Nobody
needs to know that your mother and father died in a
horrible car crash. These are things that denitely
have an impact on your life and help to shape your
personality and character, but the point of a prole is
to attract people. And most people are attracted to
positivity, not negative events and emotions. Try to
keep things light!

PICTURES ARE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

Your pictures say a lot about you as a person, and
even about your interests. Be careful what they say
about you. For instance, if you post half-naked
pictures of yourself, dont get angry at the sexy
messages you get from people interested in seeing
even more of your body. If youre looking for an
intimate encounter, this is a good approach, but
otherwise, maybe leave more to the imagination?

The second thing youll need to do is

SET UP YOUR PROFILE
The biggest thing to remember here is: BE HONEST. Be
honest about who you are and what youre looking for. No
matter how big or small, a lie is a lie and you will end up
misleading someone.

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

If you hate travelling, dont put the stereotypical
loves to travel line in, because you think a
man/woman will be attracted to that. And its not
just about what you write, but pictures can tell a very
different story from the truth as much as words can.
For instance, if you have a few extra pounds, dont
put up a picture of you in your skinnier days. This is
false advertising and untrue information. The point
here is that when someone meets you for the rst
time, there should be no obvious surprises.

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

4
THINGS TO DO BEFORE MEETING
So youve talked a little bit on the site, seem to have
some similar interests and values and you think he/she is
cute. So what is the next step? Meeting? Not really. I think
there should be a few more ltering steps before meeting
up.
RULE #1: TALK ON THE PHONE FIRST
I cant tell you how important a persons voice is to
attraction. Am I shallow? Maybe. But seriously though, I
talked to a guy on the phone that I swear did the voice for
Minnie Mouse you read that right MINNIE Mouse. Im
sorry, but the thought of spending my life with Minnie
Mouse just didnt turn my crank. Call me shallow. call me
judgmental whatever its just not happening. Also, there
have been times when I talked to someone on the phone,
and something didnt seem right. They were either high,
drunk or just seemed disinterested or off. Im not a big
phone person either, so I understand when someone is not
at their best on the phone, but sometimes you can catch
things that just dont feel right.

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

RULE #2: GOOGLE THEIR NAME AND ADD THEM TO YOUR

SOCIAL MEDIA: FACEBOOK, LINKEDIN, TWITTER ETC.

I cant tell you how many times people have lied to me

about who they are. Its happened more times than I care to
remember. So how do I weed these people out? Google
their name, and nd them on social media. Most connected
and normal people will have some sort of online presence. If
theyre not showing up, or they have a Facebook that
seems to be really weird (most of their friends are only men
or only women) then something shy is up.

RULE #3: DO A REVERSE IMAGE SEARCH

I once talked to a guy I thought looked pretty cute and
seemed to have a really nice personality. Then it occurred
to me that his face somehow looked familiar. I did a reverse
image search and found out the guy was using the pictures
of a popular hockey player. Note to self: I should watch
more hockey. But seriously, take those images and put
them in Google Search by image. Do their pictures pop up
anywhere on the net, does the name of those pictures
match the name of the person youre talking to? If not, its
time to move on.

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

5
TIME TO MEET UP
Ok so you followed the rules above and everything
checked out. Now is the time to meet not 3 months from
now, not in a years time. If you talk to someone and they
keep coming up with excuses not to meet, its time to move
on. They are not serious about meeting someone and/or
they are hiding something. Dont waste your time with
someone who is lying or delaying meeting you. If they were
that interested, theyd want to meet you sooner rather than
later trust me!

Ok

Sally, now were

ready to meet each
other, what do we
do?

Its simple. Always have a coffee date rst. If either of you

dont like coffee, no big deal, have hot chocolate instead.
The point here is: there should be no alcohol, and no food
involved in the rst meeting. No alcohol, because it can
cloud your judgment, and no food, because it should be a
fairly brief meeting, or at least planned to be brief.

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

REMEMBER

This is not a date it is a meeting. You are going

to meet someone for the rst time, and you may
not end up liking them or even being attracted
to them in person.

And believe me when I say it doesnt matter how

strongly you felt connected to them online, or talking on the
phone. Meeting and talking in person is a whole nother ball
game. Save yourself the aggravation of having to sit
through a whole dinner with someone who you end up
nding repulsive in any way (personality, looks, mannerisms
etc.) Im telling you this because Ive been there and I really
dont want you to have to go through my mistakes

Story Time

Before I gured out the rules to online dating,

through horrible trial and error, (I wish I had the
foresight to read a book about how to online date
back then, if they even existed), I had decided to
make dinner plans as a rst meeting with someone.
He seemed nice on the phone, and we got along
well, and seemed to have similar interests. We met
at a restaurant and sat down to eat. Everything
seemed to be going alright until we got the food.
He complained about the poor service, calling the
waitress an idiot while she was in earshot; I was
embarrassed. Then he
2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

proceeded to eat with

his mouth open, and had this horrible
condescending tone about him, that I had never
noticed before. I had just started to eat my meal
when I felt like I wanted to run out of the date
already. I felt stuck and awkward. Had this been a
quick meeting over coffee, his condescending tone
alone wouldve been a turnoff enough to not see
him again, and I couldve drank my coffee/hot
chocolate extra fast and came up with an excuse
to leave early. With a dinner date you are kind of
stuck with them for as long as it takes for both of
you to nish the meal.

Dont make the same mistake I did! Meet over a

beverage, and give them an excuse beforehand that you
can only meet for an hour because you have to meet your
friends later. If the meeting goes well and youre enjoying
each others company, tell them you can stay a little longer
with them.

Where
meet?
eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

should

we

6
The best place and time to meet is in a very public place
during daylight hours. Find a coffee shop that is in a busy
area of town, during a fairly busy time of day. Right after
work, or early afternoon on the weekends are good times.
The point here is that you want to meet at a safe place,
where if something were to go wrong, God forbid, you are
in a place with lots of people around.

Great! Now Ive made

plans, Im good to go!
Hold your horses, not
quite.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Always give a close friend, family

member or roommate all the information you have on the
person youre meeting (name, phone number, etc.)
including the details of your meeting (date, time, location
etc.) and give them a call after to let them know you are
safe.
This seems like a no-brainer, but some independent
people forget this part. Its just a safety precaution! After all,
you are practically meeting a stranger, as much as you think
you know the person by now.

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

PREPARING FOR THE MEETING

So now youve made the plans, and its the day of your
rst meeting. What do you wear?

7
One more thing I wanted to add about preparing for this
meeting is to come prepared with cash, so stop at the ATM
rst! You just never know when or if you will need it, and its
better to be safe than sorry.

Story Time

Actually, let me back up a second. Before you even

decide what to wear: SHOWER. I have met men before
where personal grooming did not seem to be considered a
necessity and those rst meetings were always the last.
Again, this seems like a no-brainer, but Im bringing it up
anyways.

I went on a rst meeting with someone, and we

met at a caf. We both didnt have cash on us
(both assuming wed use our cards), and the
credit/debit machines were down. We both had to
leave the place together and nd an ATM. It was an
awkward beginning.

Ok, so this is all based on personal preferences, but Ill

give you my own personal recommendations and you can
just take or leave this part

Learn from my mistake! Be prepared with cash, because

you just never know.

What Guys Should Wear:

A V-neck t-shirt or sweater
Nice jeans
Clean shoes
What Women Should Wear:
A nice shirt (Apparently red is the colour of choice to
attract men? I dunno, I read that somewhere)
Dark jeans or Dress or Skirt
Heels

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG AT A MEETING DESPITE

YOUR BEST EFFORTS
Now sometimes, despite your best efforts and plans, you
will nd yourself in a situation where you are uncomfortable
or you are surprised by someone. The best policy here is to
be honest and clear about it, while trying to be polite, and
remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible.

Story Time

When I was in my mid 20s, I once set up a rst

meeting with a man who managed to pass all my
checkpoints. He
2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

the punches.
seemed nice and normal
and cute so we decided to meet for dinner at a nice
restaurant in Toronto. I was so looking forward to
meeting this nice man that I had been talking to for
a few weeks. I show up at the restaurant and am
led to a 50-something balding man, who had about
100lbs of extra weight on his frame, wearing
glasses. The man I had talked to on the phone was
a 30 year old cute guy with all his hair, and a fairly
slim/t physique. I was in shock. I had been duped.
Now let me tell you something. There is no sense in
being polite to someone and spend time with
them when they have at out lied to you about
who they are. Its like youre supporting bad
behaviour. I did not sit down, I did not pretend that
I didnt notice how different he looked. I did not
pretend to be ok with this situation. I made it clear
that he was not who he had claimed to be, and that
I was not going to have dinner with a stranger. His
response was to call me a shallow bitch, and I
leftstat.
The good news is that this is probably the absolute worst
case scenario that you may encounter. Not to mention
these types of guys/girls usually dont make it past all the
checkpoints you carefully set up before your meeting. But I
wanted to prepare you just in case you came into a
situation like this. It happens, and you just have to roll with
eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

THE MEETING: GAH! NERVOUSNESS SETS IN

Stay calm. Be yourself. Smile. Talk about your interests,
your hobbies and goals. NOTE: Just to be clear, if your
goals involve having 6 kids, this is not something to talk
about on a rst meeting. Also not cool is talking about really
depressing subjects, politics, religion, and all those taboo
subjects that people dont talk about at a work event.
Please use your common sense and discretion!
Put your best foot forward, but be yourself and be
honest. You will probably know within a few minutes if
youd like to see this person again. If you are genuinely
interested, ask them questions and engage them in
conversation. Be careful not to talk too quickly if you feel
nervous, and just try and relax.
TO KISS OR NOT TO KISS THAT IS THE QUESTION!
This is such a difcult subject to broach. It is really a
matter of personal preference, and is a really hard thing to
gauge in another person. My best advice: Offer a hug if
youre interested in seeing them again. A hug is usually a
safe bet. Most people will welcome a hug, even if theyre not
super attracted to you, or interested in seeing you again.
Unless there are sparks ying left and right, and you really
feel the need to kiss them, and they seem really keen to kiss
you too, I would go with the hug.
2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

9
THE MEETING IS OVER; NOW WHAT?
There are really only two possible scenarios that I can
think of here and they require different answers, so here we
go:

YOU HAD A GREAT TIME

Awesome! Thats great! Im happy you found a nice

potential mate. If you felt like there was a mutual
connection, I see nothing wrong with messaging them or
calling them and saying you had a great time and would like
the opportunity to see them again. If the feeling is mutual,
you will most likely set up a date and be even more relaxed
and excited to see them again. Well done!
A second part to this scenario is that you had a good
time, but youre unsure of a connection. This can be normal.
As they say, sometimes love comes softly. Typically when
you rst meet someone you dont know if they are THE
ONE for you. Sometimes it takes time. If youre unsure of
them, but you enjoyed their company, why not give them a
second chance?

Story Time

I once went met a guy and didnt feel a

connection right away. I agreed to go on a second
date anyways, and long story short, we ended up
being together for over 3 years.
eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

Sometimes rst meetings are overwhelming and make

people unusually nervous and not completely themselves.
Theres nothing wrong with giving someone a second
chance if you see any possibility of a connection in the
future and you enjoyed their company.

YOU DIDNT REALLY FIND A CONNECTION

This is ok and normal too. You wont connect with

everyone you meet. The best thing you can do is to be
honest with the person. Let them know that you found
them nice, but you did not feel the connection you were
hoping for. There are no right or wrong ways to approach
this, just whatever works for both of you, but in the past I
had become friends with a couple of the guys I ended up
meeting. You never know if one of their acquaintances
could be right for you. And at the very least you just made
yourself a new friend and added to your network.
REJECTION: A TOUCHY SUBJECT
One thing I wanted to touch base on here is that
rejection sucks. It sucks to be rejected and it sucks to reject
another person. No normal person likes to have their
feelings hurt, or to hurt others.

But what do I do if Im
rejected?
2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

The best thing to do is to be courteous about it. Dont

get upset with the person, or demand they tell you exactly
why they dont want to see you again. Dont get defensive
or emotional. Rejection means that your happiness lies
elsewhere. Why waste your time with someone who isnt
completely interested in you and getting to know you
better?

But

I dont want to
hurt their feelings, how
do I reject someone
without hurting them?

Again, the best thing to do is to be honest with them. If

they ask you exactly why you arent interested in them, be
honest about the reasons. I think in most cases, if there are
concrete reasons why youre not interested, they should
know about it. You may help them in the future. However, I
realize if you are not comfortable with that, or there are no
concrete reasons, just tell them that you didnt feel the
connection or spark that you were hoping for. Try to put
yourself in their shoes. Its a little embarrassing and a bit of
an ego hit to get rejected. Be nice about it, and try your
best to let them down easy.

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

10
DATING AFTER THE FIRST MEETING
So youve both decided to go on a date after connecting
well at the rst meeting. From this point forward, dating
someone from the internet is no different than dating
someone you met in a grocery store, or through friends etc.
Be smart and safe, and enjoy the time you spend getting to
know someone new. Congratulations, you successfully
dated someone from the internet! Woot woot!! You
technological tiger you!
There is, however, one more thing I want to mention
here: if you eventually decide to date someone exclusively,
REMOVE/DELETE YOUR PROFILE. This is a respectful
thing to do, and it signals to the other person that you think
they are worthy of dedicating more time and focus on.

Story Time

I have personally dealt with a man who did not

take down his prole despite dating me exclusively
for months and even after professing his love for
me (yes, love!) True story. I was confused, insulted,
angry and disgusted when I came across his prole
accidentally.

Ive heard of this happening over and over again to

friends as well, and it usually doesnt end well. So do
yourself a favour and when you nd someone you think is
2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.

11

worthy, delete your prole and really dedicate your time

and focus on building a good relationship with them.
My hope for you is that you nd a great match, and move
forward in life with a very special person who you deserve,
and who inspires, encourages and supports you. And if they
dont. on to the next one! ;)

REMEMBER
THIS!
Now I didnt want to leave you without drilling home
some really important points that I think you should
keep in mind. This is like the Coles Notes version of the
book. So if you dont remember most of what you read,
please remember these things:
Always go with your gut
The rst meeting should be for coffee or a
non-alcoholic beverage
Meet in a public place
o And leave the meeting information and
contact details of the person with someone
you know
If you must reject someone, do it with tact, and
honesty
If you are the one being rejected. Dont get upset;
just remember that your happiness lies elsewhere
If something looks like a dog, smells like a dog and
sounds like a dog you shouldnt be dating it. Ha! ;)

eBook - A Guide to Online Dating

Sally Kathryn is a leading dating coach

for single men and women who are
looking for a serious relationship.
To work with Sally, please email:
info@sallykathryn.com
Or you can follow
her on social media:
facebook.com/How.To.Date.Coach
@sallykathrynp
youtube.com/sallykathryn
@sallykathrynp

2015 Sally Kathryn. www.sallykathryn.com. All rights reserved.