Professional Documents
Culture Documents
May 2016
We find Shakespeares
skull!
As soon as we learned
last
month
that
archaeologists using
Ground Penet r at i ng
Radar had determined
Shakespeares skull was
missing from his tomb
inside Holy Trinity
Church in Stratford-uponAvon, we immediately
retrieved our team of
crack researchers from
their favorite booth at
Oscars and told them to
go to England and Find
Shakespeares skull!
Yes! they shouted in
unison. English beer!
and scattered in all
directions at once to
retrieve their go bags and
head to the airport.
After successfully bribing
TSA inspectors to let them
bring their whoopee
cushions on board the
plane, they headed off for
England.
Heres their report.
The eds.
It was late afternoon
when we arrived at
Stratford-upon-Avon, and
after checking in to our
rooms at Ophelias Inn we
immediately went to Holy
INSIDE
THIS ISSUE
CAN SCIENCE BUILD
A BETTER UNICORN?
WE ASK THE
EXPERTS!
DRIVERLESS
MOTORCYCLES!
COMING SOON TO A
DEALERSHIP NEAR
YOU!
PLUS
ANDREW JACKSON
ON HARRIET
TUBMAN
HARRIET TUBMAN
ON THE $20 BILL
ALL THIS AND
MORE! RIGHT HERE!
RIGHT NOW! IN
THIS MONTHS
EDITION OF DOWN
THE DRAIN!
New
smuggling
operations uncovered
Washington, D.C A
report released by the FBI
last month said there has
$75OFF
The Fine Print (Our lawyers made us write this. Honest!)
This coupon is valid only on future repairs and cannot be
used on prior charges. This coupon cannot be combined
with any other offers or discounts or promotions. This
coupon is not valid on calls for estimates or evaluations.
This coupon has no cash value. This coupon must be
presented at time of service. And finally (whew) only
one coupon per customer, please. This coupon expires
05-30-2016. Pentagon Plumbing NV License #58722.
We do:
702-876-5969
Repair &
Replacements
Water Jetting
Insurance Work
Remodels
Electronic Leak
Detection
Sewer & Drain
Cleaning
Water Heaters
Repiping
And so much
more!
Like us!
Click on our
logo to go to
our website.
You know you
want to!
Twitter us!
Email us!
Pin us!
Yelp us!
Pentagon Plumbing, Inc. 5125 W. Oquendo Rd., Suite #5, Las Vegas, NV 89118
Tel: (702) 876-5969 Fax: (702) 876-0937
email: service@pentagonplumbingnv.com
NV License #58722
Donald Trump, call your plane. There seems to be a problem with the plumbing.
Call us today!
876-5969
Page 2
Adventures, letters,
A life in the
day of a
plumber
By CHIP CARPENTER
Ace Master Plumber
The Birthday
Box
A special happy
birthday wish
goes out this
month from all
the crew at
Pentagon
Plumbing to
the President,
CEO and
Chairman of the
Board Mike The
Boss Stokely
and to
the indispensable
Lori Berry
Yaaaaaaay!
(Applause!)
Bella Donna
Lovelace
apprehended!
By Marlow Archer
Crime Beat Reporter
After
months
of
searching, and finally
agreeing to pay an invoice
submitted by Vincent
Lumbago for information
on the location of Bella
Donna Lovelace, Down
the Drains former gossip
columnist was taken in for
questioning after being
found at a Boulder
Highway motel where she
was living disguised as a
merchant sailor on leave
from a tramp steamer out
of Hong Kong
According to the task
force investigating the
break-in and vandalism of
Down the Drains offices
last August, Lovelace was
grilled for 18 hours under
hot lights, but would not
admit to having any
involvement in the breakin and vandalism.
She repeatedly declined
an offer of having an
attorney present, though
claiming she was a citizen
of the Republic of
Belarus, she did request
the presence of a
representative of the
Belarus embassy be
present.
The request was denied
because the only Belarus
embassy in the United
States is in New York.
In addition, according to
a representative of the
task force, Lovelace
offered up an alibi for the
night of the break-in, an
alibi that was, apparently
air tight.
Unable to hold her on
any charges, Lovelace
was released with a
warning to be available
for further questioning
should the need arise.
We still think she did
it, a disappointed
representative of the task
force later told Down the
Drain.
Page 3
My
My God,
God, its
its full
full of
of pink!
pink!