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Asunto: YourFreeGiftfromImageryForKids.com
De:

Dr.CharlotteReznick(drreznick@imageryforkids.com)

Para:

sandra_shalom2@yahoo.com.mx

Fecha:

Viernes,29deabril,201620:33:21

Excerptedandrevisedfrom
ThePowerofYourChildsImagination:
HowtoTransformStressandAnxietyintoJoyandSuccess
byCharlotteReznickPhD
(Perigee/PenguinUSAAugust2009)
WhatKidsMostWantandNeedfromTheirParents
Dr.CharlottesTopTenList
Patience
Understanding
Listening
Softvoices
Structure
Consistency
Love
Freedomconnectedtoresponsibility
Familyandextendedfamily
Rolemodels
Patience:Thingstaketime.Itsasimpleandfrustratingfactoflife.Youwantyourchildto
learnfaster,changequicker,getunstucksooner,andmoveaheadinlife.Butkidslearnand
changeasfastastheyareable,andnofaster.Ifyoucanacceptthat,allowyourstobe
exactlywheresheis,andhelphermove,slowlyandsteadily,towardhergoals,shemight
surpriseyou.Impatience,anditssidekicksAngerandFrustration,actuallyslowchange,
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eatingupenergyandtime.ToolsliketheBalloonBreathandaSpecialPlacecanhelpyou
keepyourcoolandgainperspective.
Understanding:Childhoodisaprofoundandchallengingtime,yetwequicklyforgetwhat
itsliketobeakid.Withyourunderstanding,yourchildwillfeelsupportedenoughtry
newbehaviors.Withoutit,hecanfeelcutoffandalone.Letyourimaginationtakeyou
backtowhenyouwereten,oreight,orfive.Whatwereyoulike?Whatcrazythingsdid
youhidefromyourparents?Whatwereyouproudofthattheydidntunderstand?How
didtheyhandleit?Whatwouldyouhavepreferred?Youdonthavetoagreewithyour
childspointofview.Youcanstillimposeconsequencesonpoorbehavior.Butifyoucan
atleastunderstandhowhefeelsandwhyhedoeswhathedoes,youcanbecomethetrue
coachonhislifeteam.
Listening:Sometimeskidsneedtotalk.Alot.Theydontwantaquickfixorevenafull
solution.Often,unlesstheyaskforhelp,theyjustwanttoknowthatyouhearthem.Even
whentheydoask,itsstillbettertolistenfirstandsolvegently.Afterall,howcanyou
understandwhatyourchildisexperiencinguntilyoureallyhearwhatshethinksandfeels?
SoftVoices:Noonelikestobeyelledat,andchildrentellmetheyheartheirparents
wordsmoreclearlywhentheyusesoftvoices.Otherwise,theyheartheroarbutmissthe
message.ToolsliketheBalloonBreathandListeningtoYourHeartandBellycancenter
youbeforeyouspeak,keepingyoufocusedonthelessonyouhopetoimpart.

Structure:Sincemuchoflifeisunpredictable,clearboundaries,rules,androutinesare
comfortingtheyprovideadependableframeworkforyourchildslifeandhelphimfeel
safe.Trytoincorporateimaginationtimeintothestructureofyourdayorweekwiththe
samestabilityasbedtimeritualsandfamilymeals.Yourchildwillcometolookforward
toandrelyonit.

Consistency:Consistentrules,expectations,andmostimportant,consistentbehavioron
yourpartbuildyourchildssenseofsafety.Sheneedstotrustthatblackwontbecome
whitebetweentodayandtomorrow.Youaretheanchorinherworldifyousayonething
anddoanother,shelllosehermooring.Thisdoesntmeanyoushouldberigidthereis
somethingtobesaidforflexibilityinrespondingtonewsituations.Butbeforeachildcan
trustherself,sheneedstofeelsecureintheworldaroundheryourconsistencywillfoster
thattrust.
Love:Itgoeswithoutsayingthatyouloveyourchild.Butitshouldnt.Itactuallyneedsto
besaidalot,andalsoshownintangibleways.Afterall,loveismorethanafeelingitsan
action.Thatsweet,sometimespainful,swellinyourheartisjustthestartingpoint.How
doesyourchildknowyoulovehim?Howdoesheexperienceit?Childrenarealways
translatingmessagesfromtheworldaroundthem,butsometimestheyremistaken.They
maymisreadangerorimpatienceaslackoflove.Dontassumeyourchildknowsyoulove
him.Keepthisimportantgiftfrontandcenterinallyourinteractions.
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FreedomConnectedtoResponsibility:Freedomisanimportant,butcomplexquality.Your
childneedsacertainamountofitwhichgrowsasshegrowsinordertodevelop
independence.Butitmustbetemperedbyresponsibilitysoshecanbuildsocialgraceand
selfesteem.Itsaparentaltwostep:youlethergoouttoplaywithherfriends(freedom)
aslongassheshomeintimefordinner(responsibility).Learningfreedomwithinrules
createsamoreharmonioushomeandfostersanindependentchildwhoisaccountablefor
heractions.
FamilyandExtendedFamily:Tryasyoumight,youcannotanswerallyourchildsneeds
forloveandattention.Itstheimpossiblemythofthenuclearfamily.Communityisa
criticalcomponentofchildrearing,avitalsourceofsupportforparentsandchildren.And
thecoreofyourcommunityisfamilyimmediateandextendedaswellasgoodfriends
whofeellikefamily.Theirloveandassistancecreateasafetynetforallofyou.Maybe
youcanthelpwithhistoryprojects,butGrandpacan.Whenthingsbetweenyouare
temporarilystrained,perhapsyourchildcanfindasoundingboardinanaunt,uncle,or
familyfriend.Theresnothinglikeanotherperspectivetocalmeveryonedown.Makethe
timetoconnectwithyourcommunity.Everyonebenefitswhenyoudo.
RoleModels:Childrenlearnfromwhatyoudo,notwhatyousay.Youaretheirfirstand
mostimportantrolemodel.Sobethepersonyouwouldlikeyourkidstogrowinto.Show
themyoucanlaughatyourself.Makemistakes,apologize,andlearnfromthem.Reveal
andhonoryourfeelings.Beingagoodrolemodelwillteachthemmorethananythingyou
evertellthem.
Putintopractice,thesetenelementsresultinhealthier,happierchildrenandathriving
family.
PleaseletmeknowhowyouandyourfamilyaredoingwiththeTopTen.Sendinyour
experiences,perhapssharingyourownTopTips.
Manyblessings,
Dr.Charlotte
DrReznick@ImageryForKids.com

Dr.Reznickcanhelpcall(310)8897859formoreinformation.
ImageryForKids|11911SanVicenteBlvd.|Suite240Brentwood|LosAngeles,CA
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