Question: Celibacy

Answer:
Celibacy is often a personal choice, therefore it is often not considered a form of sexual
expression. There are many reason that celibacy is chosen some of them completely personal and
just a simple choice not to engage in sexual behaviors, whereas some are for religious devotion,
joining a religious order or becoming a priest or nun which most often require a vow of celibacy.
Historically, some women embraced celibacy to free themselves from the limitations of the
expected gender roles of marriage and motherhood. In the Middle Ages a woman could obtain an
education if she became a nun. In a convent, nuns had access to libraries and could correspond
with learned theologians. Laywomen were prohibited such privileges. (Crooks & Baur, 2014, p.
226). Celibacy is chosen based on many factors. Often times chosen for religious beliefs and
choose to be celibate until marriage. Others maintain celibacy until their personal criteria for a
good sexual relationship have been met. Some choose celibacy because they have experienced
confusion or disappointment in past sexual relationships, and they want to spend time
establishing new relationships without complicating it further, with sex. (Crooks & Baur, 2014,
p. 226 & 227).
Some people view celibacy as a reward, it gives them time to focus on themselves,
without worrying about sexual behaviors or feelings. It allows time to appreciate aloneness,
privacy or focusing on work/life instead of sex. Through a time of being celibate, your
relationships, whatever they may be, friendships, coworkers, parental, spousal can all gain new
dimensions and fulfillments.
In my personal life, celibacy was something that I practiced until I was married. Not
because of religious beliefs or upbringing. It was just something that I felt needed to happen
within the confines of a marriage, rather than outside of one. Though that marriage later ended
in divorce, and my celibacy views changed. I then was forced at times to practice celibacy, for
example after I had my children for the required 6 week period. Through that time, I appreciated
my husband in a different way. It also gave me a great time to show him that I loved him and
needed him in non-sexual ways, I think that every relationship whether marital or not, should
take a break from sex and take that time to relearn, and get to know your partner again. Often
times sex is so pressured in a relationship that it needs to be removed to understand the
importance of why it was started in the first place. I now look at celibacy in regards to my
children and what I would want for them.
Of the many options for sexual expression, celibacy is one that people sometimes have
considerable trouble understanding. However, celibacy can be a personally valuable choice.
(Crooks & Baur, 2014, p.227).

References

Crooks, R. & Baur, K. (2014). Our sexuality (12th ed). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.