Professional Documents
Culture Documents
TO
NOWHERE
TALES
A MODERN VERSION
OF CHAUCER'S
CANTERBURY TALES
Nicholas Gordon
Copyright © 2010 by Nicholas Gordon
Published 2010
GENERAL PROLOGUE
When sweet April, with its gentle showers
Winter's desert turns to Spring's bright flowers;
And Daylight Savings Time the early gloom
Banishes, that restless souls might soon
Emerge from their long labors into light,
Enjoying the long segue into night;
And Spring Break the youthful heart invites
To travel south for undisclosed delights;
Then do folks again seek out their muses,
Making pilgrimage on tours and cruises.
"Oh, no!" cried Ted. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!"
But nothing that he said made it not so.
PART I
PART II
PART III
PART IV
FIRST FIT
SECOND FIT
THIRD FIT
"But they did it to me! Me! I was the one this was
directed at! My loved ones were just the means to get
at me!"
"I know that you must think that I'm a jerk --"
He started to say. But she looked at her watch.
"You're looking for free time," she said. "Don't botch
The exit. Please, just go!" And so he went,
Thinking, as he into the woodwork blent,
Of this one tiny bit of saving grace:
That at least he'd farted in her face!
The Student's Tale 167
For God loved all who loved Him and had faith
That they would find salvation in His heart,
And even those who thought He was a wraith
And in the life of spirit took no part,
All were loved and could be saved. The art
Of love of God had many signs, she said,
And Christ would know them when He waked the
dead.
Yes, that was it! Then all was not yet wasted!
Once the sweet ambrosia has been tasted,
It isn't easy to relinquish it.
And so our scientist used all the wit,
So long and fruitlessly on good expended,
At last to serve himself. It all depended
On some reliable source of energy,
So well concealed no prying eyes could see,
And then the pretense that things must be kept
Absolutely secret. The whole plan leapt
Into his mind at once – the invitations
Marked “Top Secret,” the mini-free vacations
In posh resorts, the secret, closed-door sessions
At which the pitch was made, the first-day lessons
In chemistry and physics, the second-day finance
Seasoned with the flavors of romance,
And in the afternoon aggressive closers
Going after prospects like bulldozers!
But you can fool your friends with this small kit,
Just as we did our investors. Wit
Combined with chutzpah will ensure
Success in life as long as you're not pure
And undermine yourself. The causes of
One's woe are ever honesty and love.
Goodnight.
250 Gordon -- Cruise to Nowhere Tales