Aircraft Maintenance

by Fahad Naeem

FILE

110526_FAHAD_NAEEM_AIRCRAFT _MAINT ENANCE_560606_4015436

49.PDF (719.59K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

08-JAN-2016 08:16PM

WORD COUNT

SUBMISSION ID

51415207

CHARACT ER COUNT 17742

3190

Aircraft Maintenance
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

50

Instructor
Dear Fahad,
thank you f or your Coursework.
Our specif ic comments are in the text itself .

/100

More general ones are here. It would be very

usef ul to f ollow our Academic Writing
presentations more closely. Elements like
colloquial writing style, consistent use of Harvard
Style as well as logical f low f rom one chapter to
the other would be advisable in your next
submissions.
Your Coursework is a pass.
Welcome on board.
Ivan

PAGE 1

Comment 1
T hank you. Still in our understanding submission through Moodle does not require a Cover
Sheet. Please conf irm with PG Aviation bef ore the next submission.
PAGE 2

QM

W/ D
Well done! T hank you.
Additional Comment Apart f rom page numbering an acceptable T itle Page f ormat.

Comment 2
T itle Page does not have page numbers.
PAGE 3

QM

W/ D
Well done! T hank you.
Additional Comment Well done on the table of contents.

QM

Proof read

proof read
QM

Proof read
proof read
Additional Comment Style and spelling should be proof read bef ore the submission.

PAGE 4

QM

W/ D
Well done! T hank you.
Additional Comment Having the acronym f irst and sorted by them would be even more
ef f ective.

PAGE 5

QM

Proof read
proof read

QM

Weak Transition
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your
paragraphs relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph
that begins with "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even
though it may develop a highly interesting and related point.
Additional Comment A connection between maintenance and the incorporation of the
latest technology (i.e. the maintenance of the same) is not very clear at this point.

PAGE 6

QM

WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very
dif f icult to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or
trying too hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A
thesaurus can be a handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more
accurate than, the one you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if
you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning.

Comment 3
Good attempt to use in text citation. Still more close f ollowing of the Harvard Style would be
even more appreciated.

Comment 4
Being an engineering school we would expect f or SI units to be used in the text.
Consider adopting as a best practice f or f uture CW.
PAGE 7

QM

Title_and_Source
T itle and source required.
Consider adding.
Additional Comment T his applies to all f igures other elements apart f rom text in your
document.

QM

Support
Support Needed:
A well-written paper will include strong support f or its thesis. Support f or your thesis should
come f rom primary (original documents, interviews, and personal experiences) and
secondary (inf ormation that has been processed or interpreted by someone else) sources.
T o use your support ef f ectively, you must elaborate upon the inf ormation, quotations, and
examples taken f rom your sources and connect them to your thesis. It is also important to
remember to cite the sources of the evidence and support you use in your paper.

PAGE 8

QM

Harvard
Improper ref erencing or in-text citation. Consider using Harvard Style and check this link:
http://libguides.city.ac.uk/content.php?pid=238813&sid=1970764 (In particular the slide
presentation at the bottom)
Additional Comment Althought ef f ective use of f ootnote if you wanted to make an in text
citation you should have used Harvard Style approach.
Consider addopting the same in f uture papers.

PAGE 9
PAGE 10

Comment 5
Numeration of the chapters and subchapters should be in Arabic nuimerals on Roman
numarls.
PAGE 11

Comment 6
Consider using % instead of word representation of the symbol.
PAGE 12
PAGE 13

QM

Coll.
Inappropriate use of slang, cliche phrases, or idiomatic expressions:
T he use of slang, clich phrases and idiomatic expressions can conf use your readers and
destroy the f ormal tone of your writing.
Additional Comment Strong statement has been used that is not to be used in Academic
writing. Consider having dif f erent statements when presenting f ormal documents f or
Coursework.

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QM

Coll.
Inappropriate use of slang, cliche phrases, or idiomatic expressions:
T he use of slang, clich phrases and idiomatic expressions can conf use your readers and
destroy the f ormal tone of your writing.

PAGE 20

Comment 7
Consider using text instead of symbols in this case.
PAGE 21

QM

Weak Transition
Weak paragraph transition:
Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearly
demonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way your
paragraphs relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph
that begins with "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transition f rom the previous point, even
though it may develop a highly interesting and related point.

PAGE 22
PAGE 23

Comment 8
Strong statement. In academic text we need to bring conclusions based on evidence.
PAGE 24

Comment 9
Interesting selection of ref erences used!
QM

Harvard
Improper ref erencing or in-text citation. Consider using Harvard Style and check this link:
http://libguides.city.ac.uk/content.php?pid=238813&sid=1970764 (In particular the slide
presentation at the bottom)
Additional Comment Some of ref erences have been f ormatted in a proper way. One would
expect to f ollow the same rule f or all.

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