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NOT Helpful Feedback

Helpful Feedback

Your piece is good.

I thought ____ was funny. You used good


details about _____. You should make ____ the
same way!

You should revise the whole


2nd page.

A few words are vague.

You started a lot of the sentences


with the same words.

On the 2nd page, in the first paragraph, I


wonder if you could revise _____ to include
more _____?
In paragraph 2, you use the words some and
things. Being more clear would help the
reader understand what you are talking about.
Maybe replace those words?
On the first page, you start sentences with the
word ____ 6 times. I wonder if you could revise
that to include more sentence variety? Look at
sentence variety in your notebook for ideas.

Your piece needs work.

I cant get a picture of ____. What does it look


and sound like? How could you make it clear
where the scene is?

Good word choice, detail and


facts.

I like that in this sentence, you include words


like ___ and ___ to show what is happening. I
wonder if you could include some better word
choice in this other sentence?

Your sentence structure is not


too good in some places.

You have mostly simple sentences in paragraph


3. I wonder if you could add some participial
phrases or adjective openings to jazz it up for
the reader?

You need better punctuation.

I cant understand what


is happening.

The dialogue right here is confusing since you


dont have quotation marks around the words
people say aloud. Add those in and start new
paragraphs when a new person talks.
In paragraph 1, I am lost. I wonder if you could
add in a setting to help the reader know where
this is taking place?

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