Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Glows:
Youve clearly spent a lot of time working on your voice and tone while writing. You come off as deadpan and dry, but thats good for a
reader when they need a good laugh.
Excellent use of your sources. You have three really solid sources that you utilize to fit your argument well.
Grows:
Although all of the information was interesting, you may have overworked yourself. The letter only need to be 2-3 pages double
spaced, and you maxed out at 3 single. Although all true and relevant information is good information, it might have been easier on
you to cut some of the info that you might have used later or didnt need. For instance, in your first paragraph, you explain the three
main points that you go on to explain in your body paragraphs. This might get slightly redundant for the reader, causing them to lose
interest.
Overall, excellent work here, Jack. Good effort. DSA is going to be a perfect fit for you.
Advanced
Proficient
Developing
Emerging
Your introduction
paragraph includes a
strong thesis statement
that includes claim and
evidence.
Your introduction
paragraph includes a
thesis statement that
includes claim and some
evidence.
Your introduction
paragraph includes a
thesis statement that
includes claim or evidence.
Your introduction
paragraph does not include
a thesis statement.
the argument.
Comments
You only lost points here because the hook, although good, could have been better. How can you direct your
reader to the topic immediately? What if the reader came up with a different answer than the school system?
Reasons/Sup
port
Points: 20
Earned: `18
Somewhat presents a
counterclaim that does not
speak to the opposing
sides argument. No
rebuttal is included.
Comments
There was a counterargument there, however, you want to make sure that youre designating a large chunk of
your letter to that counterargument. In doing so, youre offering legitimacy to your readers opinion and stance.
Audience
Your argument
demonstrates a clear
understanding of the
audience.
Your argument
demonstrates a good
understanding of the
audience.
Your argument
demonstrates a minor
understanding of the
audience.
Your argument
demonstrates you have no
understanding of the
audience.
Points: 30
Earned: 26
call-to-action. The
conclusion also restates
your letters thesis.
Comments
You have a solid argument, but I wasnt clear on who specifically your audience was. Remember that this is a
letter to a specific group of people. Who do you most need to target in order to appeal to them and switch them
over to your side? How can you do that?
Sources
Earned: 18
Comments
You kind of did extra work by putting in endnotes for your annotations. All you need for MLA format (youll probably
only encounter a different style of citation when you get to college) is the name of the author and the page number
on which that information can be found.
Grammar,
Mechanics,
and Spelling
Points: 20
Points: 10
Earned: 10
Comments
My score: 90/100