Trainer Notes Emotional Intelligence

PLEASE NOTE: This is a short excerpt of the Trainer Notes from the
Training Materials, Emotional Intelligence by Trainer Bubble. To view the
full product training materials please purchase them from
www.trainerbubble.com
The full training materials are fully editable and come as Word and
PowerPoint files.

Pre-Course Work Prior to this session your participants should have

completed the Pre-course Work that is provided in this training pack. Please
ensure this is sent out prior to the course and check one day before the course
that it has been completed by the participants.
Introduction
Welcome participants and introduce yourself.
Emotional intelligence, also referred to as EI or EQ (emotional quotient), is one of
the most important ideas to hit the business world in recent years. It is based on
the notion that the ability of individuals to understand their own emotions, and
those of the people they work with, is the key to better business performance.
Although there have been some over-hyped claims made in the past about the
benefits of EI. There is substantial evidence that EI can improve personal
performance.
Traditionally, the emphasis when evaluating potential performance has been on
intellect. Now compelling research indicates that emotional intelligence can be
just as important as IQ for outstanding performance.
This session sets out to provide you with the fundamental knowledge required to
develop your awareness of EI and in doing so help you to perform more
effectively.
Show slide Objectives
Talk participants through objectives and ask if they have any questions.
Learning Log & Action Plan

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Refer participants to the learning log and action plan in their workbook. Advise
them that throughout the session they should put down any actions that they are
going to take as well as the key learning points. You will also prompt them at key
points to add items to their action plans (you will do this prior to every break in
the programme).
Show slide Daniel Goleman
Make no comment on this slide. Leave up and remain silent for 30 seconds and
then go on to

ASK: So what is Emotional Intelligence?

Discuss response from participants and then go on to
Emotional intelligence was originally developed by the psychologists, Peter
Salovey, John Mayer and Howard Gardner and became popular when Daniel
Goleman wrote his book, Emotional Intelligence in 1995.
Show slide EQ
Talk participants through slide using the following notes as guidance.
In simple terms Emotional Intelligence is the ability in us to control our emotions
and understand and express feelings in a way that is positive to both ourselves
and those around us.
In the past, people were assessed by conventional intellect, which was referred
to as IQ. What emotional intelligence tells us, is that there wider aspects to
intelligence and we need EQ or Emotional Quotient as well as IQ to succeed.
For example, how many of you know someone who is academically very
intelligent, but lacks the social ability to get on in life?
Lets look at EQ and the aspects it focuses on. Daniel Goleman categorised the
five domains of EQ as
Show slide Domains (click only once)
These domains can be split into two main areas. The first three can be
considered Intrapersonal (click slide), which means understanding your own
emotions.
The other is Interpersonal(click slide), which means understanding how we
interact with others.

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As these five domains are critical when considering our EQ we should first
ensure we understand the principle behind them. Lets start with self-awareness.
Self-Awareness
This is about understanding what it is that drives us and seeing ourselves as
others see us. Knowing our goals and what it is that we want to achieve in life,
whilst also being aware of our limiting beliefs and how we can adapt them to
progress.
Exercise 15 minutes
Ask participants to refer to their pre-course work, which focused on selfawareness.
This pre-course work asked them to:
Make a list of your strengths and your vulnerabilities on the table provided. Copy
your list and give it to several people who know you well and ask them to mark
the three strengths and the three vulnerabilities that best describe you.
Ask the participants to revisit their list and revise it based on the perspective of a
few days break and the input from others.
They should then choose one strength from the list that they will focus on
building and transfer this to their workbooks on the page Self-awareness.
Next, ask them to make a list of ways they prevent themselves from fully utilising
that strength, and then identify one action they could take to remedy that.
Review the exercise by bringing the whole group together and discussing any
surprises that the task threw up. Also ask what their commitment to developing
their strengths is. You may also want to highlight that people who had completely
different opinions of their strengths and vulnerabilities compared to their peers
may need to work on their self-awareness.
Self-awareness underpins all that Emotional Intelligence is about. You must be
aware of your habitual patterns and personal emotions if you are going to be able
to do anything about them. It is also true to say that if you cannot recognise your
own emotions you will be unlikely to spot them in others.
Exercise 10 minutes

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Ask participants to refer to their workbooks on the page Rating your selfawareness. They should consider the thought provoking questions in the table
and what the implications might be for their own personal situation.
Respond to any questions this brings up and then move on.
The emotions that control our behaviours in life can be described as our map of
the world and it is how you view this map of the world that affects your
behaviour. No two people have an identical map of the world, but if we can make
ourselves more aware of the reasons for our map of the world we can begin to
understand others better and even start to manage our feelings.
By understanding the things that trigger our emotions we can learn to control
these emotions and work towards a more positive outcome in both our own
personal goals and in our interactions with others.

Activity 30 minutes
Ask participants to pair up and turn to the page Recognising the value in
awareness of our emotions. They should take it in turns to think of a time they
felt really
Angry, happy, frustrated, loving, excited, devastated, sad, pleased, thrilled (or
any other emotion they choose) Choose a different one for each question.
With their partner and for each emotion separately, they should vividly remember
that time. Recall the experience as if they were really there see it through
their eyes, hear what they heard (remember the tone!) and feel what they felt.
They should discuss each scenario with their partner and then answer each of
the questions for the three emotional scenarios they choose.
In review, discuss how well the participants recalled the scenario. Ask what they
learned from the exercise and how they might use it to develop their selfawareness.
There are many ways to improve your self-awareness and sometimes it is simply
a case of being aware of your own emotions and how they might affect your
interaction with others. The following suggestions might also help.
Show slide Methods of Improving Self-Awareness
Talk participants through the slide using the following notes as guidance.

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Accept your emotions Accept that the way you feel is the way you feel. There
is nothing productive in thinking to yourself, I shouldnt feel this way. Accept that
this is the way you feel right now and work on ways to make you feel differently.
Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses Dont be scared to confront your
weaknesses. Being aware of what you are good at and what you are not so good
at will help you to make the most of situations and to develop areas where
needed.
Keep an emotional journal Take some time out at the end of each day to
consider your interactions. Youll be amazed at what you learn.
Listen to the message Sometimes the emotional feeling that wont go away is
trying to give you a message. Stop and listen to what it is trying to tell you, it may
be important!
Take a walk in their shoes Try to see things from others point of view. How do
they perceive the situation and your role in it?
A valuable thing to remember is that you are not your emotions. Just because
you think, feel or even do something in a certain way, it doesnt mean that this
defines you as a person. You always have the right of choice and to act in
anyway that you decide.

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Empathy
Empathy is described as the ability to identify with and understand another's
situation, feelings, and motives. This in turn helps us to respond to their emotions
in a way that is positive and meaningful.
The ability to empathise with others is important in all walks of life, but perhaps
even more so in the business environment as it can be the key to building and
maintaining positive relationships.
It is difficult to fully appreciate how empathic we are and often a person who
thinks they show great empathy will in fact come across as insincere. Where
possible, it is advisable to get feedback from others on our skills of empathy.
However, the following task should give you a rough idea.

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Exercise 10 minutes
Ask participants to refer to their workbooks on the page Empathy. They should
consider the thought provoking questions in the table and what the implications
might be for their own personal situation.
Respond to any questions this brings up and then move on.
In his book The 7 habits of highly effective people, Stephen Covey talks about
his 5th habit, Seek first to understand, then to be understood. He argues that in
all communication our first and most important task is to ensure that we
understand fully the needs of others, which will lead you to the first step in
achieving a win/win outcome in which both people end up happy.
The key to seeking first to understand is to really listen to the person that you
are communicating with, suspending judgement and allowing them to relay their
true emotions and ideas. Basically, its seeing things from the other persons
point of view before sharing your own and is often described as, taking a walk in
their shoes.
Exercise 20 minutes
Ask participants to refer to their workbooks on the page, Seek first to
understand, then to be understood. They should complete the questions in the
exercise, which relate to their experience of empathy as well as their own
interpretation of what empathy and listening really means.
When they have completed their interpretation of what listening and empathises
means to them, ask them to spend five minutes discussing this with the person
next to them.
In review, ask the participants to share their thoughts with the whole group and
discuss any important and interesting elements.
By empathising with others, we are really allowing our relationships to build and
so are able to ensure that our communication is positive. If we enter into
communication while only being concerned with our own thoughts and feelings,
what reason are we offering for the other person to want to talk with us? Being
able to demonstrate empathy is critical in a work environment, where we are all
dependent on others to a certain degree.
Show slide Methods of improving your empathy skills
Talk participants through slide using the following notes as guidance.
Be a Supportive Listener

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 Acknowledge your acceptance of what the speaker is saying

Do not judge or criticise
Do not signify agreement
Help the Speaker to Clarify Thoughts, Feelings, and Ideas
Repeat what the other person says
Paraphrase what you think the person really means.
Share your perceptions of the situation
Ask purposeful questions
Keep your Emotional Perspective
Anticipate the other persons emotional state
Tune in to the other persons behaviour
Use instructive statements
Avoid Negative Body Language
Arms behind head/leaning back
Arms folded in front
Body tense, Fidgeting
Hand on face
Impatience, Yawning
Use Positive Body Language
Arms relaxed
Gesture warmly and talk with hands
Good eye contact
Lean closer
Nodding agreement
Relaxed posture
Smile and add humour

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PLEASE NOTE: This is a short excerpt of the Trainer Notes from the
Training Materials, Emotional Intelligence by Trainer Bubble. To view the
full product training materials please purchase them from
www.trainerbubble.com
The full training materials are fully editable and come as Word and
PowerPoint files.

Trainer Bubble Ltd. 2007 - Oct-16

www.trainerbubble.com