Intrapsychic Loss

FCS 520
Chadron State College
Sarah McGhehey
July 1, 2016

Intrapsychic loss is defined as the experience of losing an emotionally important image of

oneself, losing the possibilities of what might have been, abandonment of plans of a particular
future, or the dying of a dream. Although often related to external experiences, it is itself an
entirely inward experience (Mitchell, 1983). The term intrapsychic is a psychological term
referring to internal psychological processes of the individual. These processes can be positive,
negative, or neutral. Because not much research has been done on intrapsychic loss, intrapsychic
processes will also be examined in terms of other types of losses, such as relationship, financial,
material, etc.
There are different variables one must consider when dealing with loss. The way in which
people experience loss is the result of a multitude of variables and factors that affect the reaction
to loss of any type. The first variable of loss to consider is whether or not the loss is avoidable.
Loss itself is unavoidable; however there are particular losses by situation that are avoidable.
These losses could be avoided by a change in a lifestyle, for example. Some particular lifestyles
can lead to financial loss, relationship loss, systemic loss and more. A change in lifestyle could
help one avoid these specific losses, and therefore the loss is to be considered avoidable. Another
factor that plays into loss is whether the loss is permanent or temporary. An example of
temporary loss would be losing a husband/wife or son/daughter who has been deployed to war.
The soldier will expectantly return after his or her tour is finished, however wives/husbands and
mothers/fathers and families can experience a temporary loss in this scenario. An additional
variable in the occurrence of loss is whether the loss is real or imagined. Intrapsychic loss can be
used to help understand the difference between actual loss and imagined loss. Because
intrapsychic loss is often known only to the grieving person and is an entirely inward loss, others
may be misled into thinking that the loss was only imagined. Nevertheless, intrapsychic loss is
not imagined and this form of loss is just as real as any other type of loss regardless of others

perception (Anderson, 1983). The concluding variable that plays into loss is anticipated loss
versus unanticipated loss. A sudden death, or unanticipated loss, allows the grievers no time to
prepare for the death or loss, seemingly causing more intense grief and emotions. Anticipated
deaths or losses allow some aspects of grief to take place before the actual loss occurs. This can
allow one to repair relationships, express emotions, say goodbyes, and much more before the
anticipated ensues.
Leons paper titled Intrapsychic and Family Dynamics in Perinatal Sibling Loss
discussed the effects of perinatal death on the siblings of the deceased baby. Perinatal death is
any death that takes place prior to birth which includes miscarriages, stillborn, and neonatal
deaths. There is a vast amount of resources on the loss of a child and how it affects the parents,
however, there isnt much research on the way this type of death affects the siblings. When a loss
occurs, adult communication, or lack thereof, with children of a young age distorts the
intrapsychic processing of the child. Many parents choose not to communicate this type of loss
with the siblings, especially siblings of a young age. Because the sibling is without an
established relationship and concrete knowledge of unborn child who died, young children have
a very hard time grasping the concept of death in this capacity. This loss is essentially invisible to
the sibling. The siblings rarely see the babys body, hear none to very little about the death from
parents, and are unable to ask questions or propose concerns in many cases. This will lead to a
variety of different reactions by the siblings (Leon, 1986).
There are many different intrapsychic paths that a childs brain may follow after
understanding or being informed of the loss of a perinatal sibling. The initial intrapsychic process
of a sibling that can be a result of a perinatal loss is a sense of guilt. The sibling may feel a sense
of guilt in that they are the reason for the pregnancy loss due to jealous or negative thoughts
toward the unborn child. The sibling might also develop a fear of death, which according to

Lean, is frequently rooted in earlier separation fears and infantile dependency. These feelings of
guilt and fear might also be compounded by parental actions. These parental actions include the
lack of communication about the reason of perinatal death and also the manifestation of anxiety
that a parent feels after the death in respect to the safety of the other children. It is common that a
parent who lost a child becomes overprotective with safety issues to guarantee their other
children are safe at all times. Furthermore, if a parent is attached to the deceased and unable to
relinquish this loss, the sibling may attempt to take the place of the deceased to earn parental
love and gain the parental idealization that is being given to the deceased. Many children end up
contributing responsibility on the parents for the death of their sibling, due to a literal
interpretation of the sense of guilt that a parent might feel. These distortions that a childs
intrapsychic cognition may endure are a product of the child accurately understanding but
literally believing parental distortions and meanings of bereavement (Leon, 1986).
Another way to define intrapsychic loss is the loss of a symbol of ideal that may be
associated with persons, places, and things that play an important role within a persons inner
world. The ending of a pregnancy, for example, can include the loss of whatever images were
formed by the parent of the child-to-be. The loss is of a dream child that exists within the
pregnant womans inner world. The more vividly the dream child was imagined, the greater will
be the immediate sense of loss. Intrapsychic loss can occur when a relational loss reveals
something that destroys this ideal. For example, when the death of a spouse uncovers infidelity
or financial mismanagement, then the symbol of the spouse as faithful is broken (Doehring,
2006).
This previous definition by Doehring is similar to the definition put forth in the book All
Our Losses, All Our Griefs by Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson, however this new
definition uses the word symbol. In intrapsychic loss, we loss a part of our inner self, and this

can include some sort of symbol. Intrapsychic loss can be in conjunction with many other types
of loss. For example, a functional loss involves the loss of some function of the body. This type
of loss is related to physical disabilities due to age, illness, disease, or injury. It often involves a
difficult shift from independence to being dependence on others, but also pairs closely with
intrapsychic losses. One may lose the image of themselves as being strong and capable. This is
an intrapsychic loss that is brought on by a functional loss. The different types of losses can
happen concurrently, and the more types of losses that one experiences, the more complicated
and complex their grief will be.
A review of the bereavement literature shows that grief and adaptive recovery may be
exaggerated and complicated when death occurs from sudden and unexpected circumstances
related to the intentional actions of one human who irreversibly takes the life of another. One
resource found details the effects of loss due to arson, examining a victim in a case study. This
woman lost her whole family in a cruel act of arson. While she was grocery shopping, two boys
threw a flaming Molotov cocktail in the front window of her house, where her mother, two
daughters, and two grandchildren were located. The cocktail landed extremely close to her
mothers oxygen tank, engulfing the house with flames immediately. All five family members
lost their lives in this tragic fire. The daughters of the survivor each had a child and when they
were found in the house, both were protecting their child by trying to block the children from the
fires by laying on top or surrounding the children. The teenage boys who set fire to the house
were hired to burn the house of someone who had an illicit drug debt. The boys, however,
confused the street and blew up the wrong house. This is such a tragic story and ending for five
people, including two young children (Williams, 2005).
I cant imagine the grief that this daughter, mother, and grandmother endured when her
family went up in flames. This is a case of truly complicated mourning. From her accounts with

health professionals, she was very confused on whether to blame or to forgive the two teenage
boys who ended her familys lives. She was also riddled with self-doubt and regrets. Being the
only survivor, she often wondered what she could have done if only she were at home during the
incident. Most likely, she too would be dead; however this is a very common act when dealing
with such complicated mourning.
Literature indicated that those deaths resulting from intrapersonal violence are more
likely to create exaggerated and, potentially, complicated grief responses (Williams, 2005). These
types of death commonly intensify the feelings of disbelief, rage, shock, and anger. Although the
notion of grief stages is no longer generally accepted, Williams explores 6 factors that follow
closely with complicated mourning deemed the 6 Rs of the Process of Mourning. These 6 Rs
include (1) recognizing the loss, (2) reacting to the separation, (3) recollecting and reexperiencing the deceased and the relationship, (4) relinquishing the old attachments to the
deceased and the old assumptive world, (5) readjusting toward moving adaptively into the new
world without forgetting the old, and (6) reinvesting in life. Throughout this process of
complicated mourning, symptoms may be evident within any of the bio-psycho-social domains.
A variety of loss occurred in this particular case study of death in relation to arson. Clearly
relationship loss has occurred, considering the sole survivor lost her mother, daughters, and
grandchildren. Financial loss has occurred in terms of her home and possibly supplemental
income brought in by the daughters for the household. This case also includes intrapsychic
processes when a tragically massive loss like this occurs. Being a daughter, mother and
grandmother and losing everyone in your family who bequeathed you those titles can result in a
major intrapsychic loss. The survivor lost her title and responsibilities that came with being a
daughter, mother, and grandmother. As shown by examples, it is possible to have an exclusively

intrapsychic loss, but it more commonly occurs more often in conjunction with other losses,
complicating the grieving process.
Although when we define intrapsychic loss, we are discussing a loss that occurs entirely
within oneself, there are some theories and thought about what happens to the intrapsychic self
when a major loss occurs within ones life. It is suggested that the intrapsychic self has the
potential to creatively reconstitute and maintain the sense of oneself that existed in relation to the
deceased. This is thought to be independent of the actual presence of the deceased. Because of
this, it is argued that not to do so, and to be stuck in what (or who) has gone missing, it to
prevent oneself from recovering from the loss. Furthermore, this states that to defensively
anticipate a sense of moving on, which is intrinsic to a sense of oneself as mortal, will prevent
one from recovering from the loss (Frommer, 2005). It is not only possible, but often essential to
our moving on to breathe new life into the intrapsychic relationship with the lost object or
person. It is also necessary for our continuity that we recognize how we are changed in relation
to the loss of the object or person, and that we keep alive the awareness of what goes missing.
However, having some awareness of the loss will forever be qualitatively different than actually
being able to experience the object or person.
Though little research has been completed on the topic regarding intrapsychic loss, we
have explored the multitude of ways in which our intrapsychic self can process information
about different types of loss. Losing part of oneself is devastating and can lead to a very hard
adjustment for anyone. When paired with other types of loss, such as relationship or financial or
material, the grief can exponentially increase. Our intrapsychic processing occurs every day, and
whether this is positive, negative, or neutral, the processing can affect our lives significantly and
intensly.

References
Anderson, H., Mitchell, K.R. (1983). All our losses all our griefs: Resources for pastoral care.
Kentucky: The Westminster John Knox Press
Doehring, C. (2006). The practice of pastoral care: A postmodern approach. Kentucky: The
Westminster John Knox Press
Frommer, M. S. (2005). Conceptions of self and the impact of loss. Psychoanalytic
Dialogues, 15(4), 549-557.
Leon, I. G. (1986). Intrapsychic and family dynamics in perinatal sibling loss. Infant Mental
Health Journal, 7(3), 200-213.
Williams, D., & Clements, P. (2005). Fire and behavior: exploring intrapsychic trauma in arson
survivors. Issues In Mental Health Nursing, 26(3), 299-310.