[W01032509] Writing Exercises: Ch. 3p.

1 of 3
PLSC 467

Writing Exercises 10th ed.

Exercise 3-3
1.

original: I predict that our attempt will be a failure.

revision: Our attempted efforts are predicted by me to fail.

Exercise 3-5
2.

original: Smoking during pregnancy may cause fetal injury

revision: When pregnant women smoke, fetal injury may occur.

4.

original: Complaints by editorial writers about voter apathy rarely offer suggestions about
dispelling it.
revision: Although editorial writers complain about voter apathy, they rarely offer
suggestions to dispel it.

6.

original: There is a need for an analysis of library use to provide a reliable base for the
projection of needed resources.
revision: We need to know how the library is used in order to provide a reliable base for the
projection of needed resources.

Exercise 3-6
2.

original: Attempts were made on the part of the president's aides to assert his immunity
from a congressional subpoena.
revision: The presidents aids attempted to assert the presidents immunity from a
congressional subpoena.

4.

original: Your analysis of my report omits any data in support of your criticism of my
findings.
revision: When you criticized my report, you did not support your analysis with data.

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6.

original: A papal appeal was made to the worlds rich nations for assistance to those facing
the front of African starvation.
revision: The pope appealed to the rich nations of the world in order to seek assistance for
starving Africans.

8.

original: The agreement by the class on the reading list was based on the assumption that
there would be tests on only certain selections.
revision: The students agreed to the reading list because they assumed they would only be
tested on certain selections.

10. original: An understanding as to the need for controls over drinking on campus was
recognized by fraternities.
revision: Fraternities recognized that there is a need to control drinking on campus.
12. original: Physical conditioning of the team is the responsibility of the coaching staff.
revision: The coaching staff is responsible for the teams physical condition.
14. original: The Dean's rejection of our proposal was a disappointment but not a surprise
because our expectation was that a decision had been made.
revision: We were disappointed but not surprised by the Deans rejection of our proposal.
Exercise 3-7
1.

original: The use of models in teaching prose style does not result in improvements of
clarity and directness in student writing [Although we use ... ]
revision: Although we use models to teach prose style, student writing does not improve in
terms of clarity and directness.

2.

original: Precision in plotting the location of building foundations enhances the possibility
of its accurate reconstruction. [When we precisely plot ...]
revision: When we precisely plot the location of a building foundation, it is easier to
accurately reconstruct the building in the future.

3.

original: Any departures by the members from established procedures may cause
termination of membership by the Board. [If members ... ]

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revision: If members depart from established procedure, the Board may terminate their
membership.
4.

original: A student's lack of socialization into a field may lead to writing problems because
of his insufficient understanding about arguments by professionals in that field.
[When ... , ... , because ...]
revision: When a student lacks socialization in a field, he may have writing problems
because he does not sufficiently understand arguments made by professionals.

5.

original: The successful implementation of a new curriculum depends on the cooperation of

faculty with students in setting achievable goals within a reasonable time. [To
implement ... , ... ]
revision: To implement new curriculum, faculty and students must cooperate to set
achievable goals within a reasonable timeframe.