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Well, you are NOT alone. Between 20 to 40 percent of men have the
unfortunate distinction of being a "minute man", one who lasts no more
than a couple of quick minutes (or even seconds) before making an
early exit.
But can you actually "re-program" yourself to last longer and enjoy
better sex?
You can!
It won't happen overnight, but with the tips, techniques and strategies
laid out in this book, you hold the power to supercharge your
ejaculatory control and gain the confidence to last much longer during
sex.
If there is one thing that makes this book stand out from the veritable
avalanche of resources on premature ejaculation, it is the two-pronged
approach of helping the average man improve his sexual endurance,
AND fulfilling a womans deepest sexual desires at the same time.
And this my friend can only bear great news for your partner and
your sex life to boot!
This is where the rubber hits the road. Here Ill give you all the tools
and knowledge you need to begin re-training and re-wiring your mind
and body so that you can revel in longer lasting sex, and at the same
time, give your partner an erotic experience she never thought was
possible.
So mark the date and time - years from now, you will remember this as
the day WHEN IT ALL BEGAN
And the sooner you get started, the sooner you will reach the level of
sexual confidence and performance that you desire!
Table of Contents
- Position Mastery
- Inducing The Female Orgasm
- Foreplay & Female Sexuality
- Oral Titillation
- Its NOT Just About Penetration
- The Best Sex Tip For Men (Its NOT What You Think)
Recommended Resources
Part 1
This section will lay the groundwork that will answer some of the most
common questions that many guys have about sexual endurance, as
well as debunk some of the self-defeating beliefs that will hamper
Most experts prefer to use this last definition, which is a very sensible
way to describe premature ejaculation. From this point of view, the
number of minutes you last doesnt even matter.
Two minutes may not seem long, but think about this: most mammals
last only 3 to 15 seconds, so a couple of minutes actually represent a
considerable feat of self-control by comparison!
Now here's the rub: the vast majority of women need 10 to 15 minutes
of intercourse to achieve an orgasm. So even 2 to 6 minutes is not
going to cut it!
But here's the simple truth you should always bear in mind
You only need to last as long as it takes for her to get an orgasm. And it
does not even need to be through vaginal penetration!
That said, the vast majority of men suffer from early ejaculation due to
six primary factors.
1. Genetics
A man's pelvic muscles are often termed the fountain of youth! These
muscles can affect everything about your sex life, including how long
you will last in bed and how much pleasure you can derive from the
act.
But guess what? The problem with weak pelvic muscles is also the
easiest to solve among all the factors causing PE. There are simple
exercises you can practice from home that will significantly strengthen
your pelvic muscles and supercharge your sexual endurance (more on
this later).
5. Wrong Posturing
6. An Unhealthy Lifestyle
An unhealthy lifestyle shows up in the least likely of places (or so you
thought)! Too much high calorie foods and a sedentary lifestyle will sap
your energy levels, hamper blood circulation and inadvertently lead to
premature ejaculation.
So if chips and hamburgers are your favorite buddies, and you hardly
run - even for an emergency - it is time to take a reality check! This
may be damaging your sex life in more ways than you can think of.
It is not unusual to hear of love affairs and even marriages hitting the
rocks due to unsatisfactory sex lives. And I don't need to stress the
impact this could have on a man's self confidence in the long run if
premature ejaculation is not treated properly.
Here is the simple truth: If you find yourself climaxing too soon, your
courage to admit this problem is the crucial first step in prolonging your
orgasm.
Unlike some of our physical traits, our sexual abilities are not cast in
stone. These abilities, including ejaculatory control, can be learned and
practiced to perfection.
There is a fallacy that adult movie actors are naturally blessed with
superior sexual endurance. The truth is, most of them started out just
like any of us. Their exalted sexual stamina comes from practice
rather than genetics.
There are oral medications and supplements on the market that are
used to treat premature ejaculation. These are primarily anti-
depressant drugs known as SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake
Inhibitors) that have the side effect of delaying ejaculation.
While these drugs help to raise the level of serotonin in your body
hormones that reduce your urge to ejaculate prolonged usage is
believed to have side effects, including erectile dysfunction, dampened
sex drive and sometimes the inability to achieve an orgasm.
Read the last sentence again
2. The cure should be natural and does not produce any adverse
side effects that can potentially damage your privates or your
health.
Realistic Expectations
Do you need to last ten minutes or more, so that you are no longer
considered a premature ejaculator?
Absolutely not!
The truth is that most women are not aiming for hours of sex. Ten to
fifteen minutes is usually the average amount of time needed for
women to hit a sexual climax. And there are ways to bring down that
"level of threshold" for women. You can prime her mind and body so
that as soon as intercourse begins, she is almost ready to reach an
orgasm.
Sounds far-fetched? Not at all - with the proper amount of mental and
physical foreplay, you can build up her sexual anticipation to the point
that she is on the orgasmic edge, ready to tip over.
And of course, if you really want to add a few more minutes to sex,
there are several commercially-available aids that can help you, such
as desensitizing creams or sprays for external application (although I
dont recommend these as a long-term, viable solution). Alternatively
there are condoms with specially-created numbing gels to give you a
quick boost in staying power. Many men also swear by self-gratification
before engaging in a sexual act. The early release of semen will ensure
that you don't climax too soon during the actual deed.
The man would say he was very turned on by his wife. Foreplay was
great and fun. But when they started having intercourse, he would only
last like 30 seconds flat. He would try using mind distraction
techniques; they didnt work. And neither did different kinds of
condoms, sprays and creams.
On the other hand, the typical woman would lament that her husband
always ejaculated quickly during sex, leaving her to finish it off herself
while he showered. She even went as far as thinking her spouse
couldnt wait to finish sex in a hurry because he didnt want to be with
her!
These ARE typical issues that I hear every time. And these issues
really reveal exactly how differently men and women perceive
premature ejaculation!
At first the guy may get angry and become defensive... but if his
partner is committed to working this out TOGETHER with him, and
actually shows it through her words and actions, then he will feel a
burden lifted off his shoulders.
It is so much harder for you and your wife/girlfriend to just pretend that
there is nothing wrong (remember the story about two people talking
while an elephant stands in the corner of the room, and both of them
pretending not to see the elephant?). The lack of communication
makes the problem ten times worse.
Think about this if your wife or girlfriend is so hot that she sends you
out of control every time... well, in some ways that is a good problem to
have, at least for a start!
Chapter 2
Myths, Misconceptions
(And Big Fat Lies)
Being a guy frustrated by the problem of premature ejaculation is bad
enough, but its made a lot worse by the myriad of myths,
misconceptions and lies that surround this subject.
These myths can cloud the issue and make it so much harder for you
to overcome your endurance shortcoming and carve out a new, more
confident and longer-lasting sexual performance.
While this may be true for young men new to sex, it is an absolute
fallacy for others. There are many men who love sex, have plenty of
sex, but fail to last beyond the first minute of intercourse -
embarrassing but true!
And then there are men who have an illustrious history of long lasting
sex and then suddenly have difficulty holding up their ejaculation. In
short, sexual experience does not figure prominently in the cause of
premature ejaculation.
If you suffer from PE, your sexual response cycle is still fully
functioning. The only difference between you and the guy who can go
the distance is that you go through the entire stimulation process in
double quick time. What takes a guy 10 minutes to go from arousal to
full orgasm probably takes you just 1 or 2 minutes from start to finish.
In other words, your only problem lies in lasting through the cycle. It
also means that if you can last one minute in bed, with the right
endurance practice and conditioning, you can last any amount of time
you like!
Why?
What is the purpose of having sex if you are going to avoid the
pleasure by putting your mind somewhere else? There are a number of
'experts' who would advise you to think about other things during sex
so that you can avoid a premature ejaculation. This is NOT the best
solution, and hardly practical at all if you truly want to enjoy sex.
Myth 5: Porn Actors Are Born With Super Endurance
Remember it is what you DO, not what you are born with, that affects
how long you last in bed.
That is the first important step towards banishing PE from the bedroom
and watching your sex life take a turn towards greatness!
Chapter 3
A man will also experience changes in the scrotum and the testicles
during this time. The skin may thicken and the whole scrotum may
elevate. The cord that holds the testicles may shorten and gets pulled
closer to the body. One testicle may rise faster towards the body than
the other.
Stage #2 - Plateau
The excitement of a man usually peaks during the initial phase itself.
There is little difference that takes place in the penis during the plateau
phase. The only difference that occurs during this stage is that the
penis head may deepen in color and increase in diameter by up to 50
percent. The scrotum and the epididymis will also tighten in response.
During this time, the breathing rate increases and so does the heart
rate. The man also experiences an increase in the blood pressure
levels. There is further tightening of the muscles - both voluntary and
involuntary. There may be spasms along the abdomen and ribs, and
even the face. The buttocks may also tighten and this may further
increase a mans arousal.
During this phase, there is often a slight discharge from the penis. This
is the result of the stimulation of the Cowpers glands. This discharge is
often called the pre-cum. It is different from the semen that is
ejaculated during ejaculation, but it still contains thousands of sperms
all the same. So, a woman may become pregnant even if this enters
her vagina.
Anyone can see that there are differences in the stages of arousal, but
the basic rationale is the same. It happens when there is an increase in
the tensions of the different muscles and the increased blood supply to
the different (sexual and non-sexual) organs. This arousal peaks when
there is an orgasm.
Stage #3 - Orgasm
The primary indications of an orgasm are the tightening of muscles
throughout the body and the ejaculation. A man also experiences a
euphoric feeling, especially at the lower abdominal muscles. This
feeling lasts throughout the phase of ejaculation. The spasms may last
for around 4/5th of a second and subside after the initial burst.
These are very obvious changes that take place in the penis. However,
there are changes that are less obvious. There is an increase in the
blood pressure and the pulse rate. There is also an increase in the sex
flush. The different muscles may also respond in a different manner.
For instance, a man may frown or grimace during these moments.
There may also be muscular contractions in the legs and arms and
both the man and his female partner may grasp each other tightly. Most
men are unaware of these subtle changes in their bodies and it is
common that some guys may experience muscle aches the following
day.
Stage #4 - Resolution
Pleasure Scale
The most important thing you can do about your sexual arousal is to
learn how to monitor and measure it, using the above Pleasure Scale.
Why is this important? Every man is unique. You need to learn how to
read yourself so that you know exactly where you are during the throes
of sexual ecstasy. When you discover where your arousal level lies and
what causes the excitement, you can indulge in all the pleasures of sex
while prolonging your enjoyment and that of your partner. This is
absolutely vital for stopping premature ejaculation in its tracks.
Here are the 10 distinct stages of arousal a man goes through during
sex, as well as an understanding of the processes involved in each.
Stage 1 - You are starting off with feelings of excitement. This is the
beginning of sexual arousal although there is no erection yet.
Stage 3 - There is some contact with your penis, and it can occur
through stimulation from your partners hands, oral sex or during
intercourse
Stage 9 - This is the final point just before your pleasure peaks.
Usually at this point, there is NO turning back, and there is NO way you
can will yourself back to ground zero. Ejaculation is IMMINENT.
With some practice, you will know exactly when you reach the different
stages and how they feel like. Only when you gain a better
understanding of your own arousal levels, can you start to achieve
better control over your ejaculation.
The Two Stages Of Cumming
As youve learned earlier, there are many obvious signs that lead up to
a male orgasm.
For example:
- Your breathing rate escalates
- Your heart rate goes up
- Certain muscle groups in your body begin to tighten, most
notably your abdominal, thigh, buttock and pelvic muscles
- Your testicles will elevate and move closer towards your
body
While most men clearly enjoy the ooh and aah moments of an
orgasm, what most of us dont know is that the male orgasm consists
of two separate and distinct stages. Lets take a quick look below.
The very muscles that result in the release of semen are also the same
ones that give you the great erotic pleasure during sex.
Thus one of the keys to lasting longer - as you would later discover - is
to tone up and strengthen the PC muscles so that you develop the
ability to completely relax these muscles AT WILL.
After ejaculation, you go into the Refractory Phase, where you will stay
limp and unable to achieve an erection.
2. Feel The Difference: Once your penis is erect, shift your mind to
the feelings you are experiencing. Are you breathing faster? When
does your heartbeat go up?
Which muscles are you clenching when the arousal peaks? These
questions will help you identify the subsequent stages of your arousal.
Build it up slowly, so that you can identify each stage individually.
5. Understanding Your Peak: Try and find out when your ejaculation
occurs - the point of no return. How long does this take? Can you
identify the exact feelings you get just before you come? Finding out all
these points is the purpose of the whole masturbation exercise.
Most men may find it difficult to identify the thin line between an
arousal plateau and the point of no return. This is because the
transition may take place within a fraction of a second.
But with repeated practice you will begin identify the stages better. This
will help you become more conscious about what gets you going and
more importantly, how you can control your arousal and last longer.
Once you understand how your body works, youre in a better position
to develop greater control and improve your endurance in between the
sheets.
There is more
So weve reached the end of Part One of this book. Weve come a long
way in learning about the fundamental concepts of premature
ejaculation, myths and misconceptions, as well as how your sexual
response cycle works.
Part Two awaits and this is where the excitement really begins -
excuse the pun :-)
Keep the lessons and concepts youve learned here, and Ill see in you
Part Two. This is where the rubber hits the road - youll learn
techniques that masterful lovers use to last like a stallion in bed.
Part 2
Here Ill give you all the tools and knowledge you need to begin re-
training and re-wiring your mind and body so that you can revel in
longer lasting sex, and at the same time, give your partner an erotic
experience she never thought was possible.
Chapter 4
The body, after all, is controlled by the brain - our minds rule our
physical selves. Take control of your mind and you can take control of
your body. Nowhere is this more useful or productive than when a man
suffers from premature ejaculation and wishes to solve it.
Almost every guy has experienced PE, especially as a young man. Sex
is very exciting, and when you get over-stimulated, you simply lose it.
Since you really do screw with your brain and not the delivery system
between your legs, you need to train your brain not to get overly
aroused.
Did you know that your mind controls about 75% of premature
ejaculation? If you can manage to control at least a part of your mind,
you will be able to last much longer in bed. The part of your brain that
is called the cortex influences your ejaculation to a large extent. So the
next time you get excited when you see something erotic, you know it
is your cortex that is largely at work!
It naturally follows that any amount of control you can exert on this
cortex can help you last longer. For instance, if thinking erotic thoughts
gets you aroused, then thinking about something relaxing will always
calm you.
We all know that a relaxed mind causes your body to relax as well, and
this can do wonders to extend your time during sex.
You must learn how to control your arousal right from the beginning.
This can be achieved by focusing NOT on intercourse but on the entire
sexual experience.
This is a huge difference
To develop mental or arousal control, you need to focus on the ALL the
sensations you experience and GIVE during sex, and not just focusing
on how you feel in your own genitals.
For example...
To hold off an early climax, try to prolong foreplay. This will give you
time to get relaxed and comfortable. And its great for women too.
Many women complain about their men skipping foreplay altogether, so
focusing on pleasing her before intercourse can only be a good thing.
Youll see that after a few minutes, youll be much calmer and relaxed.
Plus, your partner will be much more turned on than if you had just
skipped foreplay and gone straight to penetrative sex. With the right
amounts of foreplay, sex becomes much more pleasurable when you
begin penetration.
What you did in the past does not define what will happen next time.
You see, it is very easy to panic and get anxious just before sex. You
may find yourself reliving your past sexual experiences where you
came early and ended the sex before it even got started.
You may have heard about this before, but it helps to illustrate the
power of positive visualization. A football coach experimented by
dividing his lads into two teams of players with almost the same
talents, performance and experience. Over a period of time, while one
team physically practiced scoring goals from dead-ball situations such
as free-kicks and penalty kicks, the other team simply visualizes
scoring goals under the same circumstances. When the two teams
competed, the players who practiced visualization were actually more
proficient and successful!
So what can you do with this technique? Simple! Set a goal in your
mind for how long you want to last in bed, and picture yourself
achieving it. This is an extremely powerful mental technique.
The next time you experience a negative thought, recognize it, and
immediately replace it with a positive thought. Adopt a positive mental
outlook. Envision yourself achieving success, rather than failure. Make
it a conscious effort to do that every time. Before long, you will
condition your mind to stand up to your negative thought patterns and
play out positive outcomes instead.
One of the best ways to remove some strength from any drive pressure
is to satisfy that drive more frequently. Try to have sex as often as
possible. Rather than shying away from it, take it by the horns and see
every sex session as an opportunity to improve your sexual endurance
and your sexual intimacy.
If you want to last longer in bed, you need to learn how to control your
sexual arousal. There are plenty of quick fixes out there that promise to
help men cure PE and last longer during sex. But if you fail to control
your arousal right at the beginning, then regardless of the product or
technique you are using, you wont be able to last long. Once you get
overly excited, it's game over almost as soon as it begins!
You see, most guys who are inexperienced in sex simply allow their
arousal to rule over their heads and do not control their stimulation until
it is too late.
You have to understand that you cannot wait until you reach tipping
point to take action - or in most cases, to completely stop all action and
just stay still, hoping that the sensation will subside. To completely
control your ejaculation, you need to know how to maintain your
arousal levels at ALL time - until the time you choose to climax.
1' on the pleasure scale is when sex begins and you are not at all
stimulated. '10' - as you have probably guessed, represents your
ejaculation.
When having sex you will notice that are several bodily functions you
cannot control - for example, your heart rate, blood pressure,
perspiration and even getting an erection when aroused. Breathing is
the only physiological system in a mans body that can be voluntarily
controlled.
Fortunately, breathing is also one of the most important components in
managing your arousal levels and eventually holding back your
ejaculation during sex. Thus it also goes that by learning and practicing
the proper breathing techniques, you can supercharge your sexual
stamina. The way you breathe - the speed and duration (or depth) of
each breath - is critical.
To give you a better idea, lets look at the Pleasure Scale again, this
time by illustrating the breathing rate of the average man as he
progresses through the pleasure scale of one to ten.
Notice how as your arousal levels increase, your breathing rate gets a
boost as well, and spirals to the maximum as you get closer to an
orgasm?
Many guys try to control their breathing but are simply doing it the
WRONG way. This can actually increase your anxiety levels and push
you towards the edge of ejaculation even faster. Many men dont know
how to breathe properly during sex and end up tensing their bodies
and ejaculating too soon.
Before you blame yourself for your lack of sexual endurance, there is a
simple preparatory breathing technique you can use to last longer in
bed. It works very well for me and once you master this, you can
achieve enhanced sexual stamina straight out of the gate without fail.
As the name suggests, preparatory breathing prepares you for the sex
that is going to happen. The best time to start off preparatory breathing
is during foreplay. You should begin this technique before you engage
in intercourse so that your breathing will fall into a naturally deep
pattern.
2. Continue With It: Take deep breaths, making sure that you
move your lower body, and not your chest or shoulders. Your
belly and the lower ribs should be moving out every time you take
deep breaths.
3. Put It In Words: Every time you feel like you are slipping
away, say these words to yourself: "in...out". Repeat it and
breathe in coordination until you feel yourself gaining back
control.
4. Repeat: Do the above every time you are getting ready for
sex. It will help calm your sexual nerves each time your partner
caresses you or even just undresses in front of you.
This is a breathing technique you can use during sex. It will help slow
down the build-up of sexual tension in your body and also helps tackle
a sudden surge of sexual arousal during sex.
Try This: Take shallow breaths. Inhale for 2 seconds and exhale
for 4 seconds. When you are sexually excited, you tend to
hyperventilate. This will slow you down and reduce the sexual
tension to a manageable level.
This is another technique that will keep early ejaculation at bay. You
should keep doing this throughout your time in bed. It is called
synchronized breathing and can be very effective when you want to
last longer.
The next step is to add the visualization of a triangle in your mind. Try
to visualize or imagine your breath as a beam of light moving along the
three sides of a triangle (see diagram below)
Your breathing should be very slow, even and deliberate. You can
practice this breathing technique before you actually use it for sexual
control. In fact, this trick will come in handy whenever you want to
reduce your stress level. It is a very effective way to get yourself
centered and feeling calm whenever you feel that stress or anxiety is
getting a hold on you.
When you become comfortable with this technique, you can begin to
apply it to reduce your sexual excitement and anxiety.
As you feel your sexual arousal rising during intercourse, try practicing
the triangular breathing. You should be able to do the breathing
exercise and the visualization, while staying connected and engaged
with your partner.
Give it time.
With enough practice, you will even outlast what the average guy can
muster in ten lovemaking sessions combined!
It is through relaxation of the mind and body that you can prevent an
early ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is often (although not always)
the result of the involuntary contraction of the PC (or pubococcygeus)
muscles and a corresponding heightening of sexual pleasure.
Well, it is easy for me to say "relax!" But how do you really go about it?
It is pretty simple - just follow these 2 basic principles.
Do you remember what your body feels like when you are nearing an
orgasm? You will feel your body muscles tensing and contracting,
especially those around your butt, stomach, legs and anus.
Now what do you think will happen if you can keep these key muscle
groups completely relaxed or loose, even when youre highly aroused
and excited? Well, you will gain the coveted ability to prolong your
ejaculation for as long as you desire!
Staying calm and relaxed is the perfect way to last longer during sex.
But, we're all so stressed out in our daily walks of life, that we actually
need to learn how to relax. In other words, we need to voluntarily
induce a "relaxation response" in our bodies, or basically, to chill out
2. Close your eyes and allow all the muscles in your body to
relax completely
Use this as an acid test: Would you prefer to be thinking about the
wonderful woman you are making love to, or would you rather drum up
some images of a dirty, scruffy football player?
Now, instead of "tuning out" from sex using distraction tactics to delay
ejaculation, why not "tune in" to sex? Well, this may seem counter-
intuitive at first. You see, you may think that the very reason you are
ejaculating prematurely is because your mind and body are being
stimulated too much too soon. That is true, and that is probably why
you are trying to distract yourself to avoid blowing too early.
On the contrary, you should immerse yourself totally into sex, but the
key is not in focusing on the pleasure of your penis in her.
Focus on the whole-body experience of sex instead of what you feel in
your genitals
There is a rule in psychology and NLP that says: You can't accomplish
anything that you can't first IMAGINE yourself accomplishing. In other
words, if you just can't even see how you could ever be the guy that
lasts as long as you want... how will you ever accomplish it?
Once you can visualize it clearly, then you can begin to take steps to
actually accomplish it.
When you begin actual intercourse, go as slow as you can and stop if
you need to. Above all, try NOT to think about your penis...
Work on just building that connection with her. Hold eye contact, smile
at her, stroke her hair, tell her EXACTLY how you feel about her, and
become completely present in the moment.
This is not only the most effective way in learning how to control your
ejaculation it is also by far, the most rewarding!
Chapter 5
Adding physical control to mental control will allow you to totally re-wire
your ejaculatory triggers so that you can decide when you want to
ejaculate. Japanese Geisha's have this natural ability to bring a man to
ecstasy without having him prematurely end the fun. If they can do
that, you can too IF you know your own body.
Knowing your body's primary arousal points can help you last longer. A
good physical condition is crucial in enduring the physical task of
keeping it up longer. Do not underestimate your muscles' participation
in your endurance quest. Ask your partner to assist you in this self-
discovery and sex will never get boring.
Whats even more important is for you to identify and "feel" the muscles
from the inside.
To locate your PC muscles, simply try stopping your urine midway; you
will find one muscle near the anus that flexes or contracts inwards.
When you relax the muscle, the urine will flow again. This is the PC
muscle at work.
Once you're clear where your PC muscles are, what it feels like to
clench and relax them, you can start a series of exercises to
strengthen them.
By strengthening the proper set of muscles, you will be able to control
your ejaculation at all times even with the most intense sexual
stimulation.
Let us take a look at a series of exercises that will help build up your
PC muscles and boost your staying power.
Exercise: PC Flex
You can do this with a limp or half erect penis. I recommend you avoid
doing these exercises with a full erection. You don't want to get in the
habit of flexing your PC muscles when you have an erection, since that
could essentially train yourself to make the mistake of flexing (and
ejaculating) while you're having sex.
It is likely that you will feel a weakness in your penis in the initial week
after you begin the exercises. This is a very natural progression and a
sign that your PC muscles are beginning to adjust and adapt to the
new routines.
Just like when you first started building your biceps, you will experience
soreness and weakness in the respective muscles.
Exercise: PC Clench
2. Release and relax the muscle for the same amount of time.
Find a few times and places where you will remember to perform these
routines every day. For example, you might do them when taking a
shower, when youre commuting to and from work or when youre
watching TV commercials.
So, the next time you want to last longer in bed, relax those muscles
very consciously. You should practice this control right from the start -
from foreplay and then through intercourse.
Time is of the essence when you are practicing this technique - leave it
too late and you will not be able to hold back your ejaculation. For this
reason, it is very important for you to get into repeated practice as
often as you can. This will ensure that you are fully prepared when the
moment is just right.
You may not know it, but how you masturbate will either help or worsen
your premature ejaculation condition.
Let us recap the Pleasure Scale as this will come in handy when
practicing and mastering the next few self-stimulation exercises.
With this exercise, you will be focusing on bringing your arousal to
specific levels and then stopping stimulation. The key lies in upping the
ante at each stage while you are approaching the Point Of No Return
(Stage 10), but without tipping over.
9. Repeat this exercise and see how close you can get to 10
(point of no return) without ejaculating.
This exercise is really to help you identify your OWN level of arousal at
each stage of the pleasure scale.
4. Repeat the same process and bring your arousal to level 9, and
then allowing it to drop to 7.
You can repeat the entire process above using a pocket vagina and
see your endurance levels soar through the roof.
This technique is particular helpful when you dont want to break the
momentum during actual sex - especially when your partner is clearly
enjoying the moment.
These 3 simple exercises will train your mind and body to delay an
ejaculation even when it gets too close. By mastering these
techniques, you can get yourself in that near orgasmic state for 20 to
30 minutes. Once you get
in the zone, it is the most explosive sexual experience any man could
have.
This section will detail 4 simple, proven exercises you can perform with
your female partner, with the goal of improving your sexual endurance.
Once you feel you can keep your pelvic muscles relaxed and prolong
ejaculation without having your partner to slow down or stop, you may
repeat this exercise with the use of lubrication. This will scale up the
stimulation, and is a step closer to what it actually feels like in a real
vagina.
If you feel confident in these areas, its time to proceed to the next
partner exercise that will involve real intercourse!
This exercise involves your partner getting on top of you while you lay
on your back. This is the easiest position to keep all your body muscles
completely relaxed as you do not need to depend on your arms and
legs for support during penetration. There is also minimal thrusting
involved, which will further relax those love muscles.
1. Begin with foreplay with your partner, and tune in to all the
sensations that you are experiencing, while making sure shes
getting a fair share of stimulation as well.
2. Lay on your back and allow her to apply generous amounts
of lubrication on your penis. This helps reduce friction and
stimulation on your penis head.
6. Allow your partner to run her hands and fingers over your
chest and focus on the sensation this causes. This will help
prevent you from paying too much attention to the genital
sensations.
Dont worry if it doesnt go to plan within the first few practices. Stay the
course. Practice DOES make perfect!
This position is more challenging than the earlier one as it requires you
to use a core set of muscles - the abdominal muscles (this can
precipitate an early ejaculation compared to the earlier position where
all muscles are kept relaxed).
Like the previous exercise, the goal is to continue until both of you are
happy with the duration of sex.
But if you diligently practice the above two sexual positions, youll
progressively develop a superior endurance - so youre not going in
with zero preparation.
2. The first time you practice this exercise, make sure you use
some lubrication. This will help reduce excessive penile friction
and stimulation.
3. Lie on top of your partner and begin with slow and shallow
thrusting movements. When in this position, it is very easy to
forget to adopt the right breathing techniques. Make a conscious
effort to take in long, deep breaths.
6. Ask her to run her hands over your back during intercourse
and tune in to how that feels to you. This will divert attention
away from the sensations in your penis.
7. When you feel you have lasted long enough, allow yourself
to come to an ejaculation.
But fret not! It just takes a little bit more practice to work out which
muscles to use for body support and thrusting and which muscles to
relax.
Chapter 6
Nobody can deny the health benefits of eating right and exercising. But
did you know that eating the right foods can have a dramatic impact on
keeping premature ejaculation at bay? It's true! The right diet can
enhance your virility and help you enjoy sex much longer.
So what foods are best for preventing an early ejaculation during sex?
Natural foods are one of the simplest and most effective premature
ejaculation fighters you will come across. So, before you rush to buy
that bottle of enhancers, spare a thought. Invest in these natural foods
and give your body a fighting chance to tackle that premature
ejaculation!
Life Is Sweet
Honey is more than just for the sweet tooth. Just one or two spoonfuls
of this substance can give you the energy and explosive power to last
all night long.
Yes, that bottle of sweet, golden liquid in the kitchen cabinet, which
rarely gets opened, is packed with powerful nutrients, and is one of the
fastest at providing your body with sexual energy and keeps you going
during sex because it is very easily digested by the body.
Fruity Temptation
Avocado is another delectable food you can add to almost any meal or
snack, and quickly increase your intake of powerful nutrients to help
get both your body and your brain ready for a wild, passionate night.
Aside from being very low in Cholesterol and Sodium, avocados are a
good source of dietary fiber, Vitamin B-Complex, Vitamin C, Vitamin K,
Folate, lots of minerals, protein, and amino acids. All of these nutrients
provide your body, and mind, with sex-boosting power.
There is nothing like cereal that gets a man going in the morning. If you
have been avoiding that bowl of cereal at breakfast, it is time you
change your habit! Breakfast cereals contain the all-important thiamine
and riboflavin. These two important components help you store energy
better - and they naturally help you last longer in bed.
While you are at it, you should also try to include breads and cereals
that contain niacin. This is because niacin helps in the secretion of
histamine. Histamine is the deciding factor when you are talking (or
thinking!) about explosive orgasms or longer ejaculations. So increase
your intake of these vital substances - whether in the form of breakfast
or just a healthy snack - and see your sexual stamina soar.
Berry Magic
Blueberries are in all honesty the best "sex pill" you can get! These are
natural anti-cholesterol miracles. They push all the cholesterol down
your bloodstream, before they have had a chance to stick to your
arteries. They also relax you and result in better blood flow to your
extremities, giving you a better erection ability and enhanced sexual
endurance.
Sirloin Therapy For The Loins
Even the all-delicious steak can boost your sexual stamina. Steak
increases the levels of dopamine in your blood. If you don't already
know, dopamine increases your 'feel good' factor and helps you
become more sensitive to sex. It helps you develop a better awareness
of a pending ejaculation so that you can deal with it and keep it at bay.
Steak also contains important substances like zinc. It reduces the level
of prolactin in your blood and tweaks your libido! Do we see you
grabbing for that steak?
Vitamin Bank
It's just that research has proved the soothing effects of vanilla on the
psyche of men and their endurance in bed. The smell relaxes you,
lowers your inhibitions and creates greater lasting power when you are
having sex.
These are eight super foods that are highly delectable and tasty, and
can give you that edge you always needed in bed.
Start taking them in moderation and you will see the difference they
make in putting the brakes on premature ejaculation!
Drinkers Beware!
Here's a substance that many guys often use before sexual activity, but
can in fact decrease libido, endurance, and even cause temporary
impotence.
Overall, alcohol has a 'slowing down' and numbing effect on the body,
as well as the mind... both of which can cause a decrease in libido and
generally low sex drive.
Keep that in mind the next time you find yourself consuming alcohol
before a night of passion.
You can ensure the natural production of serotonin in your body just by
doing one thing during sex - RELAX. It is the opposite of the wild and
high emotional state you get with the release of dopamine - the
opposing
hormones that cause quick ejaculation. Serotonin induces a sensuous-
like feeling - exactly what keeps your ejaculation at bay during the
throes of pleasure.
There are pills on the market that help to boost serotonin levels in the
body and delay an ejaculation. These pills are not a standalone cure,
but when used in conjunction with specific exercises such as those
outlined in Ejaculation By Command, can significantly boost your
sexual stamina in the long-run.
You don't need a pill when Mother Nature, in its abundance, has
provided you with just the things you need in the most natural form.
There are a number of foods that contain natural serotonin too. You
can just as easily consume these and enjoy the benefits, without
subjecting your body to artificial substances.
If you are wondering about the exact effect each has, let me tell you
that walnuts are the most powerful of the lot.
You can include these foods as a part of your healthy foods regime, or
take them as a part of your premature ejaculation treatment.
Whichever way you take it, the benefits will be evident in a few short
weeks. Try them out today and see a difference in your staying power.
Remember, delaying ejaculation during sex is also about using science
to find natural cures that work for your body!
Chapter 7
Skills and techniques are an important part of the sexual game play.
When it comes to lasting longer in bed, it is no different. The positions
you use during sex and the repertoire of skills you bring to the bedroom
all have an impact on your arousal, and consequently, your endurance.
Position Mastery
The way you have sex is absolutely vital if you are a man who tends to
ejaculate early. What does this mean? Quite simply, there are positions
that are PROVEN to delay the onset of orgasm, and you must seek
these out during sex if you want to truly last longer.
Most couples adopt at most 2 different sex positions during intercourse.
Considering that most guys ejaculate within two to four minutes during
sex, that does not provide much leeway for experimenting with different
positions.
But ironically, the converse is also true: the more positions you
experiment during sex, the more likely you will find some positions that
will give you better control over your arousal and stimulation levels.
There are certain sex positions that put undue stress on your arms,
legs and other parts of your body. This stress makes it difficult to
control your arousal and delay your ejaculation. The missionary
position is a surefire position for quick ejaculation. Well, this is a
common position that most guys use during sex... so is it any wonder
that many men don't last the distance?
What happens is that this position requires you to prop yourself up.
And after thrusting for a couple of minutes, the amount of stress and
tension in the muscles on your arms and legs will often push you over
the edge and make you lose control over your arousal.
"The Cowgirl"
This is perhaps the best position for you if you are looking to last
longer. With you lying on your back, let her mount atop you while
having sex. There are 2 advantages to this position:
Less stimulation: The part of the penis that is most sensitive to touch is
the frenulum (the small fold of skin located on the underside of the rim
where the penis head meets the shaft). Thrusts that are direct upwards
instead of downwards in a womans vagina will cause less friction, and
hence lessen stimulation on this ejaculation trigger point.
More Control: You can control your arousal completely. This is because
this position allows your body to be completely relaxed and stress-free.
You are lying on your back and just enjoying the sensations coursing
through your body (not just your genitals). When you are relaxed and
your main body muscle groups (e.g. abs, thighs, buttocks and pelvic
muscles) that precipitate ejaculation are not tensed, it becomes much
easier for you to control your arousal.
This is another great position you want to try out. This is the reverse of
Cowgirl, where your partner mounts you, but with her back facing you.
You can try this variation after adopting the traditional cowgirl. It can
help vary the stimulation, without losing the fun and pleasure from the
act.
This position gives you a lot of control over your stimulation and
arousal levels. Firstly, by lying down, you are reducing the amount of
stress and tension exerted on your arms and legs that are needed for
support.
Second, 'spooning' enables you to adjust the speed and intensity of the
thrusting, as well as the depth of penetration.
Third, this is a great position to slow down your thrusts, lean over her
shoulders to kiss her face and neck or use your hands to caress her
breasts - which greatly helps to divert attention away from the
stimulation to your penis.
The spoon position is great for women too because it enhances the
intimacy levels between couples.
You can add more spice to the spoon position by taking her upper leg
and draping it across your own. This forces her thighs to open fairly
widely, allowing you to thrust deeply and giving you great access to her
clitoris.
Here's another trick to help you last longer: When you sense that you
are close to a climax, withdraw your penis from her until the sensation
subsides. Then switch to another position that is great for keeping
premature ejaculation in check, such as the cowgirl or its variations.
Switching positions during sex does two things to you: Firstly, it forces
you to break the momentum during sex. This presents some form of
distraction and helps to curb your arousal. Secondly, different positions
offer you the flexibility to vary the depth of penetration, speed and
intensity of thrusting. Variation is one of the keys to lasting longer in
bed. Conversely, monotonous engagement is a surefire way to lose
control during sex.
Different sex positions will work out differently for different men.
Experiment with various positions and angles. Find out what
combinations keep your arousal and ejaculation under control, and
those that drive her completely wild.
Invest a bit of time in doing this, because this may just be the thing you
need in order to last longer. For a start, try out the few perennial
favorites I just described. You may be pleasantly surprised by how far
you can go!
Inducing The Female Orgasm
Adequate acts of foreplay or even oral sex are great ways to build up
sexual anticipation in a woman and get her all warmed up to the act.
This will greatly reduce her inhibitions and enable her to reach a climax
much sooner.
Indeed, some women can achieve multiple orgasms even during the
acts of foreplay or oral sex. If both you and your partner find this
technique acceptable, then this will greatly reduce the pressure and
anxiety on you to perform during intercourse.
The upside with lowering her orgasm threshold is that once you
consistently bring her to a climax, you will gain greater confidence with
your own sexual ability, and will naturally be able to last longer over
time. After all, premature ejaculation often stems from performance
anxiety or stress.
Let me explain
Men are either turned on, OR not. When a man is sexually excited, he
gets an erection that lasts until the sexual stimulus is removed or when
he reaches an orgasm. When this happens, he loses the ability to have
sex for a varying amount of time.
On the contrary, women have varying degrees of sexual excitement.
You may have heard of the term multi-orgasmic. Women are capable
of having multiple orgasms. BUT they need to be stimulated in order to
reach a sexual peak that coincides with orgasm. Once she gets one,
she can be stimulated to achieve successive climaxes.
While your male anatomy is the only point of arousal, women have
plenty of sensitive areas all over their bodies. So, instead of pounding
away like a runaway stallion during sex, take your time to explore her
ENTIRE body, touching and caressing her sensitive zones - and Im
NOT referring to just her breasts and genitals!
Just be sure that you perform foreplay which involves her genitals and
not your penis if you want to increase your time in bed.
Her reaction to your sensual probing will give you a fairly good idea
where her hot buttons are. While she approaches an orgasm with
your purposeful exploration, you will not only learn about her secret
areas and hot zones, but also prolong your own stamina for the final
battle.
Foreplay does not technically make you last longer during intercourse,
but it certainly helps reduce the time it takes for your lover to reach an
orgasm.
There are two basic types of foreplay - emotional and physical foreplay.
This is where women are fundamentally different from men. Guys are
ready to mount and thrust right away during sex and get off at a
moment's notice.
Women are different.
They prefer a slow build-up to sex. This is how they are biologically
wired. And it is not their fault that most women take at least 10 to 15
minutes to reach an orgasm (compared to just 2 to 4 minutes or less
for most guys).
So don't jump the gun when it comes to sex. It is probably the worst
thing you can do during lovemaking.
Teasing is one great way to build sexual tension that I think you should
experiment with. Women loved to be teased. If you want to become a
masterful lover in bed, you have to learn how to tease her emotionally.
Make her curious about what you are going to do to her next.
This will keep her on her toes and bring her sexual emotions to an
erotic boil. This makes sex far more exciting, titillating and challenging
for the both of you.
For example, you touch her slowly and move around her nipples or
clitoris in circles, but don't actually touch those highly sensitive hot
spots - until she literally begs you to go further. As you drive her crazy
teasing her in this manner, 2 things are happening:
1. The Obvious: She gets hot and highly aroused from the
sexual tension building up
2. The Elusive: Because you are in full control over her sexual
response, you are assuming the masculine role of leading the
sexual interaction and controlling her body. This masculine
energy will drive women wild.
The art of sexual teasing leverages on the power of the Push and the
Pull - or the intricate art of going forwards and backwards.
What do I mean?
For example, if you are undressing her, stop halfway and then proceed
to kiss her. When she is expecting you to perform oral sex on her after
some heavy foreplay, turn your attention to her breasts instead.
Tenderly move AROUND her hot buttons, not ON them.
This sensual art of unpredictability will add plenty of sizzle and
excitement in the bedroom. A slow sensuous build-up of sexual
anticipation will soon turn into a frenzied sexual craving for you to
perform the actual deed on her.
Guys, if you want her to have a genuine orgasm during sex, this is the
secret behind it! Your bedroom will never be the same again once you
learn this.
Getting Physical: The Overlooked Hot Buttons That Will Tip Her
Over
But there is much more to sexually fulfilling a woman than just giving
her clit a good time. In fact, head in straight for that hot spot, and you
may be down there for a while. Unlike men, women cannot be sexually
turned on in 5 seconds flat.
Her Ears
Nibbling on her ear lobes is just the tip of the ice berg. In fact, licking
any part of her ears is a highly titillating act for a woman. Heres what
you can do: Lick her just below the lobe and then blow gently on it. This
will send pleasure waves of sensation straight to her genitals.
While you are at it, take the time to whisper something dirty into her
ears. Many women love a little steamy conversation in between the
sheets. Also try teasing her nipples with your fingers for an added
erotic effect.
Her Neck
Once you've given her ears some attention, move down to her neck.
You want to focus along her jaw line and the sensitive spot just above
her collar bones. If you apply pressure to her throat, she may feel like
she's being choked.
Kiss along her jaw. This will relax her and enable her mind to focus
what you're doing. Stroke her collar bones gently, and then kiss or lick
in the hollows just above the collar bones and in the sternal notch - the
dip in her throat right above the breast bone. Her whole body will tingle
with the sensation.
Just don't over do it! Run your fingers over her back without carrying
out the tickle reflex too much. Otherwise you may have a squirmy girl
on your hands, and you'll have to go back to square one to turn her on
her again.
Oral Titillation
Oral sex is an important skill, and one that is necessary for men to
know, so I am devoting an entire section to this, although it is by no
way exhaustive (there are entire books written on the art of giving a
woman sensational oral sex.
The single best way to help a woman reach an orgasm - even multiple
orgasms - is by giving her oral sex. At first I didn't believe it, but
countless studies and surveys have proven that over 50 percent of
sexually active women prefer oral sex to actual intercourse. Oral sex is
certainly easier and much more satisfying for women than intercourse
is.
If you can help her reach a climax with your mouth and tongue FIRST,
everything else becomes far easier and the pressure is no longer on
you to perform. Once she gets her orgasm, it really doesnt matter how
long you last! In fact, when she achieves an orgasm early on,
subsequent ones during intercourse will come faster and more intense
to boot!
Let's take a look at how you can supercharge her sensations and give
her a great time in bed orally.
Most men have this preconceived notion that oral sex is all about
putting their mouth and tongue on their partner's vagina. Well, that is
important.
But this is equally crucialusing your tongue and mouth to explore her
ENTIRE body.
There is no fix way to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue, although
the typical tongue movement can be compared to how a cat or a dog
drinks from a bowl of water. Try observing these animals when they
drink; you will see how their tongues move in and out of their mouths at
a really fast pace. This is exactly what your tongue should do when
performing oral sex on a woman and put her in the mood quickly.
Also experiment and see what she likes most. For a start, you can try
licking the tip of her clitoris, followed by the sides and the clitoral hood.
At all times, try to keep your tongue soft. Some women may find this
kind of stimulation too intense, so it is best to try it out and vary your
techniques as you go along.
Quick Tip: To give your tongue some needed rest in between strokes,
and to spice things up a little, try the "humming" technique. Make use
of any melody that you can think of and hum it, with the position of your
head remaining unchanged. The vibration from the sound you are
making will reach the vagina, providing additional stimulation to her
clitoris.
The path to orgasm is very different for a woman than it is for a man. It
is infinitely easier for a man to climax during sex. BUT a woman can
achieve exponentially more orgasms than a man can.
Sadly many women can only achieve climax through self stimulation or
masturbation.
So how can you make sure she gets one when you are in penetration
mode?
The following tips would keep her orgasmic furnace burning hot...
1. Clitoral Stimulation: The Right & Wrong Ways To Do It
The trick is to give her stimulation indirectly at first. Try running your
fingers on each side of her clitoris shaft and caress her clitoral hood
with your thumb. When she becomes aroused, you will feel her
breathing heavily and the clitoral hood swelling up. This is when you
know she is ready for more.
Giving her the right clitoral stimulation will produce natural lubrication
within her vagina, getting her almost dripping wet with her own juices.
Plenty! Not only does it mean shes crazily turned on and experiencing
a ton of pleasure, it also means that your penis can glide in and out of
her at any speed without experiencing the extreme friction that can
push you over the edge. This is a simple but often overlooked trick to
last longer in bed.
Starting sex slowly is a great way to get her all warmed up to the act.
As the sex progresses, women prefer the speed (including that of the
thrusting) to increase, culminating to a boil as an orgasm approaches.
But make sure the overall rhythm or tempo remains the same.
3. The Tantalizing Grind
You no longer feel the weight on your shoulders to perform. This will
give you massive confidence in bed, knowing that you have enough
"lovemaking arsenal" to fully satisfy her.
The Best Sex Tip For Men (Its NOT What You Think)
In this section I am going to let you in on what is possibly the best sex
tip in the world. It is without a doubt the single most powerful way to
drive any woman completely wild in bed and lets you into her world of
orgasmic pleasure.
What works on one woman may utterly fail on another. Some women
may prefer clitoral stimulation while others may prefer penetrative sex.
One may like things fast and furious while another is into slow and
anticipatory lovemaking. One may love lots of foreplay, yet another
may want to make love right out of the bolt (although foreplay is still
crucial in most cases).
When she feels complete involvement from you during sex, she can
feel the total sexual confidence in you. And for you, because you are
so focused in her, you will naturally forget about all your own
insecurities and inadequacies in bed!
This is the stuff that women's sexual fantasies are made of. You will
create an amazing bond, trust, intimacy and delirious sexual pleasure.
This tip alone, when put into practice, will bestow upon you a sexual
power and create a level of intimacy you might be mentally unprepared
for. There is a certain level of responsibility that comes along with it.
Chapter 8
The "mental factor" has a debilitating effect on your ability to last longer
in bed. We as men often demonstrate our masculinity through our
sexual technique and stamina. This is why so many guys have
inferiority complexes when it comes to sexual stuff, especially their
sexual endurance. You are probably embarrassed or even fear the
possibility of finishing too soon in bed. Confidence is a huge issue
here.
But think about this
You see, one of the keys to overcoming early ejaculation lies in how
you handle its aftermath. You need to adopt the right mindset and
attitude that will NOT make your woman feel disappointed if you climax
too soon.
Youre not going to suddenly prolong your sexual performance from
one minute to one hour overnight. Its going to take some time - even
with the tips, techniques and strategies Ive shared with you.
So, you need to have an attitude that will keep your masculine image
intact and continue to portray yourself as a strong, confident, attractive
man in the mind of your sexual partner.
But how?
Try this
Whenever you shoot too quickly, tell her that she has turned you on so
much that you could hardly get a hold on yourself, but you would like to
continue giving her pleasure. Take a relaxed, confident approach.
Sex doesn't have to end when you ejaculate!
Proceed to stimulate her body and her sensitive areas. Put your hands
and tongue to good use - your penis is NOT the only sex tool youve
got! Your woman will love the fact that she gets you so aroused, and
will respect you for facing up to your problem and seeking ways to
make sure she is sexually fulfilled even when you shoot early.
Believe me, this will have an untold effect on your confidence and
subsequent "staying power". This can be a game-changer.
More than that, encourage her to speak up and tell you what turns her
on. Communication is a very important part of the whole sexual
experience. Clever sexual innuendos during pre-sex time and gentle
inquiries during sex will not only give you vital information, but will
stimulate your partner's fantasy which makes her hornier and helps
her reach her orgasm faster! Just before you reach your own
TAKE ACTION.
Let these exercises become a natural part of you. This is the kind of
learning that will take your sex life to the next level.
Stay tuned!
Chapter 9
Summing It All Up
I believe this has been an incredible journey for you so far, as much as
it has been for me in sharing with you what Ive learned through the
years.
My hope is that this book has provided you with plenty of solid and
proven strategies to supercharge your ejaculatory control and last
longer in bed.
But don't be too hard on yourself when things don't go right at first.
Developing ejaculatory control may not be the most natural thing to do
initially.
Like all things in life that are worth doing, it does take time, patience
and practice.
But keep your spirits up and try to see the lighter side of things even
when you 'accidentally spill' during sex.
Give it time to let the techniques work their magic. Soon enough, you
WILL turn the tables on premature ejaculation and give your woman
the pleasure you know she deserves.
Now, if there is just ONE thing you will get out of this book, let it be
this...
Lloyd Lester