Rachel Pointer

Letter 1

UWRT 1102

Dear Jamie,

Your first draft was very well written, but there were a few things that I saw needed some

work. First, I noticed that many of the statements you were making were not cited. Examples of

these uncited statements are Theyve always been important aspects of any cultures identity,

and those who could create and tell them were held in high regard by others in the same society

and Mythology was the result of a human effort to impart meaning and order unto an otherwise

meaningless and chaotic universe and This mindset formed the foundation for the creation

of mythology, which served as an explanation for these events as the works of gods and demons

and other supernatural entities. These are just a few sentences out of many that need to be cited.

This could be a huge problem regarding plagiarism and I would hate to see such a well-written

paper to get a bad grade because of a few citation mistakes. You must remember that anything

that isnt common sense must be cited. Another thing I noticed was that your paper did not meet

the 8-page requirement. To extend the length of your paper, maybe you could add a few more

examples of mythology or extend the paragraphs that talk about the different viewpoints

regarding your topic. A paragraph you could also extend on is paragraph four, where you talk

about how myths are created. I feel that you could have gone more in-depth in this paragraph so

the audience could possibly have a greater understanding of the origin of mythology.
 Now that I have addressed the big issues, I will now delve deeper into the paper and point

out some smaller improvements you could make. First, you start your third paragraph with Or

so one would think. I feel that this would fit better as the last sentence of your second paragraph

and then change your second sentence in your thirst paragraph by removing the first word,

But, so that it can flow better. Another mistake made is in paragraph ten in the sentence

Nevertheless, the thunderbird myth is the predominant form of thunder origin story amongst

Native American tribes; this myth can compared closely to that of the Greek god Zeus.. In

this sentence, compared needs to be changed to compare. In the last sentence in paragraph ten,

the comma after the word sky should be removed. In the 11th paragraph in the sentence The

Southeast Asian versions of this myth is very much comparable to the Biblical account of Noahs

flood., the word is needs to be changed to are. Lastly, the last word in your paper, arises,

needs to be changed to arise.

All-in-all, you have a well written paper. Reaching the 500-word limit on this letter

assignment regarding the improvements that needed to be made in your paper was hard since you

made very few mistakes, even for this paper being a first draft. After addressing the mistakes that

I have pointed out in this letter, there is no doubt that you will get a good grade on your research

paper.

Sincerely,

Your peer-review partner