Cross Cultural Project

Lily Kanefield

SERP404

The University of Arizona

** The student interviewed for this project gave permission to have his legal
name used.
 Cultural Autobiography
My name is Lily Goodman Kanefield, Goodman is my mothers maiden
name a name that my siblings and I have all carried as our middle name to
keep the Goodman name alive. I was born in Saint Louis, Missouri at Barnes
Jewish Hospital on May 8, 1995 to my mom Renee and my dad Jeff. I have a
very close family, we lived in a beautiful house across the street from my
elementary school in a small suburb of Saint Louis called Clayton. I always
saw my family as a typical American family. However, as I got older and
realized how mixed our country is I realized I grew up in a very privileged
town with very kind but spoiled people surrounding me. My family practices
Judaism, and even within my family we all have different definitions of what
being a Jew is. When I think of Judaism I think of family dinners with lots of
laughter, love, and good food. I think of feeling safe no matter where I am
because some God somewhere is watching over me, while my family has my
back. My older sister Emily, who is 30 and married with three children, who I
love so much, looks at Judaism more for what the religion is, she categorizes
herself as orthodox, while I would say that I am reformed, but spiritual. We
grew up in the same home, watched the same shows, ate the same food,
and sat at the same table every night, but have later in life decided on
different paths. We dont love each other any less, we dont judge each
other, and we definitely dont let it change the amazing relationship that we
have. My brother Zander is 27, he lives in New York, works in the industry,
and does crazier more spontaneous things in one weekend than I will every
do in my lifetime. Even though no judgment is passed in my family, I happen
to tell him more than I share with anyone else, nothing I can say to him will
ever shock him, it usually barely even sparks a reaction, and hes so cool in
that way. Hes always been that cooler older brother, even when I was 5 and
he was 11 and was fighting over the TV remote with me. He was just cool.
My mom always says that I am the best of everything, in the sense that I
am some interesting mix of not only my brother and my sister but also my
mom and dad. My mom can hold a conversation with a wall, she always has
something to say, and she is full of energy, humor, and love. She brightens a
room by just walking in it; she is an inspiration to many and loved by all. My
dad is more reserved, he loved nothing more than to sit at our kitchen
counter with a home cooked meal and talk about how many laps he swam
that day, what plans I have for the night the week and for my life. He is
overly kind, he rarely gets flustered, and he is always looking out for
everyone elses best intentions. Family is everything to me, I confined in my
family for everything, everything decision I have made, every success I have
had, and every failure I have moved past is because I had my family by my
side. However, my family isnt just the four people I just named, it is my
aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, friends, families I babysit for, mentors
and all other people who I encounter and make a mark on my life. Family is
people who love you for who you are and arent afraid to disagree with
choices you make or things you do, but never stop supporting you through
those decisions.
I had a wonderful childhood, most of my memories are made up of
funny stories that my mom loves to tell, trophies that my dad insists on
keeping no matter what, memories with friends that can make me smile at
any time, and tears that made me a stronger person. I have no regrets in my
life, and I have few memories that are painful to recall. I feel overly
privileged, sometimes to the point of guilt. I have had few experiences where
other people made me feel bad about who I am or how I identify myself.
When I was in the 7 th grade a former friend of mine decided to publish a
book, she asked for my approval to put my name on her work. I happily
agreed, I felt I had nothing to hide, many of my friends asked she not use
their name in fear that what she would write would be negative and they
didnt want that, I had no such thought. When the books first copy came out
online I eagerly went on to read and support her. I was about halfway
through when I came across my moment and there it was my name sticking
out like she had written it in bold, Lily danced life on a silver platter. What
did that even mean? I dance life on a silver platter? In other words, my life
was so easy; I had everything handed to me. I was devastated and
determined to somehow disprove this. My life was not easy. My life was
amazing, but I earned everything that I got in my life. Or did I? I remember
after this came out me and my friends sat around analyzing every word on of
that book and what had been viciously written about us, however, what we
were too young to admit was that it was all true. No I did not have my life
handed to me on a silver platter, I practiced hard to be the #1 lacrosse
player on my team, and I studied a good amount to get good grades and get
into a wonderful University. But I also walked into my school (majority white)
and immediately felt accepted, teachers loved me because I was Emily
Kanefields little sister, and older kids thought I was cool because my brother
was Zander Kanefield. I got treated well at stores because my mom was a
regular shopper and I had lots of opportunities in my life, because my college
educated parents helped me achieve anything I told them I wanted to. I have
privilege, a lot of it. As a child I was blinded to this. I dont know if that made
me a better or worse person, I do know that my ignorance only led me to
accept all people. It wasnt until I was in college and started flying alone a lot
that I started to realize what kind of world I had been living in. I am often
asked if I am of Arab decent and about 1/3 of the time that I fly I get
randomly screened I once asked a TSA member what this was about and
explained how often this occurred. He laughed and responded, We check,
who we check, Im sorry you see it differently. Basically, he was telling me
to shut my mouth and allow them to discriminate against me because of my
tanner skin. I have recently been very angered by this occurrence, not for
myself, not because I have to spend an extra minute and a half getting my
hand swabbed and bagged checked, but because in what kind of world it is
okay to treat people because of where they are from, what they look like and
how they are judged. I am a 21 year old, white, Jewish, Upper Middle Class,
American, female. I see racism everyday. I see sexism everyday. I am a
victim. Everyone is a victim of some sort of discrimination because of some
part of who they are. When I decided to become a special education teacher,
I was sharing the news with my family, and the first thing of my extended
relatives said to me was, Oh what a depressing job. I responded No, but it
is sad that you see it that way. I am tired. I dont want my privilege
anymore. When I see the way some of my friends, students, and even
strangers around me are treated it turns me off to my own home, my own
country. My name is Lily Goodman Kanefield and until you get to know who I
am, thats all you need to know.
 Cultural Biography
Mohammed Al Langawi is a 19-year-old student at the University of
Arizona student studying Foreign Affairs. He was born in Kuwait City on April
11, 1997. He has two older brothers and when in Kuwait lived with them, his
parents and his grandmother. He says one of his earliest memories is walking
his dog around the city of Kuwait with his dad, before his dad became ill and
was wheelchair bound. When he would come home there was always a warm
feeling and a smell that now is so distant from him he can barely describe. It
wasnt food, it wasnt candles, it was just the smell of my family, and I miss
it. After leaving home to come to the United States, Moe, as his friends
call him, says that going back for breaks, although is fun, just doesnt feel
the same. There is an emptiness in his house as his brothers are grown, one
working in London as a doctor, and the other living on his own in Kuwait.
After his grandmothers passing Moe said that his father was rather
depressed, as she had lived with them most of his adult life, and there was
an empty room in the house that seemed to never be able to be filled. The
family then moved into a smaller home, that was more accessible for Moes
father as he developed ALS and he was not longer able to walk. This was a
very hard time for Moe, his father became very sick when he was a junior in
High School, at NES (New English School) in Kuwait. When he was 17 he
came the United States to begin school at the University of Arizona, this was
a very hard transition, for him as his family was in a very difficult time in
their life, Moes mother was going back and fourth between London, where
her mother and older son lived, and back to Kuwait where Moes dad was in a
hospital receiving treatments. In February of 2016 Moes father passed away.
Moe was unable to fly back home as he had just returned from Kuwait in mid
January after winter break. This was the start of a very hard semester for
him. He was at the time applying to the Eller College of Management, when
he realized that the news of his fathers passing really made him think about
what he wanted to do with his life and what really mattered to him. This is
when he decided to switch his major and start a career where he would be
more involved in activities all over the world. His dad was a very huge
inspiration in his life, he explains that in Kuwait there are many different
circles of people and many different statuses, his family is in a rather high
social status and his dad was a very respected man. This would give him
many opportunities in Kuwait, however, his dad was the person who really
encouraged him to come to the United States and get an education and
really try and learn more about other cultures and see what other parts of
the world have to offer. Moes parents gave him the best opportunities any
person could want as a child, he began learning English in pre-school classes
and continued this type of Education all the way through high school. The
NES school is a private British lead curriculum school in Kuwait which he
attended from preschool to graduation, it offered amazing opportunities for
Moe, including drama which was one of his favorite subjects in high school
and is something he got extremely involved in as an after school activity.
When he compared his education to that of his American friends he believed
that he got a very high academic status and that culturally his school
explored many different cultural and because he learned English at such a
young age eh feels that he was very exposed to things that Americans are
often not exposed to until late in life. He also got many opportunities from
attending this school and doing well there, including bringing him to the
United States. He is a sponsored student (by the Merit Scholarship
Undergraduate Program), so the Kuwait government is paying for him to
attend school in America, and in return when he finishes school he will work
for the Kuwait government in some way to pay them back. One thing that I
found very interesting is that Moe never likes to be referred to as
Mohammed, he said that, People fear the name Mohammed due to the
media and history, but the name just really means Blessed individual. This
is something that although didnt seem to bother him, I found to be very sad,
why should somebody have to shield part of their identity and change their
name, because of people prejudice thoughts about a certain cultural name?
When discussing different discriminatory acts against Moe, he said that the
worst experiences always happen for him at the airport. They call his name
out of over the loud speaker, check all of his travel documents, search his
luggage often with a bomb squad officer or a trained canine, and that they
open up all of his electronic devices and if one does not turn on he cannot
bring it on the plane. This act is extremely discriminatory and its truly
because his name. I dont look Arab, I got luckily in the way that my skin is
so white, people never know I am from the Middle East until they hear my
name. While being aggressively checked at the airport Moe says he tries to
engage in friendly conversation with the workers, he eels its his job to try
and give Kuwait a good name wherever he can, just hoping he will rub off on
someone and make a difference in one persons mind, that not everyone who
is Arab, Islamic, or traveling from the Mid East is trying to cause harm in
America. It is hard for him to decide who his real friends are here in America.
Many of the other people either in his program from Kuwait, or from other
Middle Eastern countries were important people in his life when he first come
to The University of Arizona, however, as they have spent more and more
time in America, he notes that many of them have lost their values and lost
their mind. They have become more centered on partying and making their
time in America last, instead of remembering why they are here and how
privileged they are to have time to learn and grow as people here. Moe feels
that he never even tried to fit in with the typical Americans; he didnt try
and join a frat, he never tried to hang with white kids in class, he didnt live
in a dorm, and he did get involved with any clubs or activities that would
lead him to immerge himself with Americans. He has a wide range of friends,
mostly people he met in the apartments he lived in, however, some how he
found his closest friends in America are also being sponsored by their
countries or are international students. He said although it seems like a
small difference, having someone to speak Arabic too makes him feel like
hes a little closer to home. I didnt try to only be friends with people from
outside the U.S. but when you meet someone and youre both different you
know you can be friends. Being different is hard, however, it seems Moe has
found his place in America and at the U of A, and after he graduates next
Spring the decision on what will come next will be a challenging one to make.
When reflecting on Moes culture he has so many different aspects to who he
is as a person it hard to place labels. He is an Islamic heterosexual male,
from Kuwait, who comes from a very well off family. He is smart, he is
empathic, he is open minded, and he is kind. His skin is light, and he is often
mistaken for a white American, and although blending in is in his mind a
positive, it is quite sad that he lives in place where blending in makes you
less of a threat and being stripped of parts of your identity makes you more
approachable and makes your life better. Moe has a lot of things going for
him, however, everyday whether it directly effects him or not, many groups
that he identifies with are stereotyped and discriminated against in our
country, and although he is enjoying each moment he has in America, he
also knows that it will never be home. Home is a place, where everyone
knows who you are and loves each part of you Moe says, and America isnt
that for him, Many Americans like me, once they get to know me and dont
just hear my name.
 Cross Cultural Reflection
As I reflect upon my cultural experiences as well as Moes I start to
think about how the world sees us. If someone were to look at us for the first
time there would be one obvious difference, Moe being identified as male,
myself as female. However, my skin is much tanner than Moes, his English
equally fluent as mine, our sexual orientation invisible to the world, and
social economic statuses unknown, but if examined quite similar. No one can
look at Moe and know that he is Muslim, just like no one can look at me and
know that I am Jewish. People make assumptions, and they always will, but in
order to know who we truly are, you would have to do a lot more than just
look. Moe and I have experienced an act of discrimination in a very similar
form, at the airport. However, my experience was one based of looks and his
was based of his name, his religion and his home. Acts of discrimination I
have experienced throughout my life have been followed by apologizes,
jokes, or explanations, while Moes have been followed by silence. I have
lived my life with many things giving to me, while Moe has had to earn the
respect that he has. We believe in two very different religions, grew up on
opposite ends of the world, and have had very different experiences in our
lives. However, we are one in the same. We both value our family and friends
more than anything. We both believe in a God, even if its not the same one.
We both strive to be the best students, friends, and people we can be, and
we both believe that the world can be a happier place if we just open our
minds and our hearts to everyone in it, instead of judging those who are not
identical to us. So, why must the world judge us? When it comes down to it,
what is more important than being a good person? Sexual Orientation?
Nationality? Faith? In reality those are just the pieces that make each person
in our world unique, however, they are used to segregate us, stereotype us,
and create power.
Working with kids with special needs has really opened my mind and
my heart to different kids of people. It has made me realize that its not
about who you are or where you come from, but its about what you make
yourself and where you choose to go. I have chosen to open myself to new
people and new experiences and what it has taught me is that being open
means you dont look past others differences, but it means you dont see
them at all. When I first met Moe I knew nothing about him, I thought he
looked much like my brother (a white, Jewish frat boy). When he shared
with me his background and life story, is when I grew to think so highly of
him and the culture he comes from. So, are we different? Very. But what the
differences do to our lives is in the hands of those around us. Perception is
reality, so the way we are viewed is the way we are (in the viewers mind at
least). We choose to see equality. Its a view that some will never have, so I
have chosen to hold on tight, as I believe that treating others equally no
matter who they are, what they believe, or where they come from is the only
way for a better future.
 Interview Questions
1. Where and when were you born?
2. Do you have any interesting stories about your birth?
3. Where were your parents born?
4. Who are you the closest to in your family? Why?
5. What does the word family mean to you?
6. What is your earliest memory?
7. When did you arrive in the US (if werent born here)?
8. Are you in the US for a short visit or to stay?
9. Who was the person who influenced you the most as a child?
10. What was your favorite subject as a student?
11. Where did you attend grade school? Middle school? High School?
12. Was there a teacher that you remember was a big influence?
How did they make you feel?
13. Do you like learning new things?
14. What is the highest level of schooling you have attended thus
far?
15. What is your native language?
16. What language does your family speak at home?
17. Do you feel encouraged to speak and learn English?
18. Which language do you prefer speaking?
19. Is your life in the US different than life in your Native Country (or
your familys native country)?
20. What language do you speak with your friends?
21. Do you feel closer to your friends in the US or to your friends in
your Native Country?
22. How are your friends in the US different than your friends your
Native Country?
23. What is your closest friends Native Language?
Optional Questions* (if comfortable answering)
24. What religion do you identify with?
Is religion important to you?
25. What sexual orientation do you identify with?
Is this important to you?
26. What race do you identify with?
Is race important to you?
27. What social economic status do you identify with?
Is SES important to you?
28. Have you ever felt discriminated against?
Will you share a memory that sticks out to you?
29. Do you wish you had been raised differently?
30. Anything else you want to share about your
ethnicity/race/religion/any way you identify yourself?