A Modest Proposal by Mr.

Blake Stevens - 2017

for a reduction in the number of haphazard children burdening the intelligent people of America,

for making them social once more, and for making them beneficial to the public.

It is an unfortunate observation for those, those keen enough to notice the epidemic sweeping

the kin, that they are engrossed with the antisocial social media of todays internet revolution.

These children, rather than being able to socialize like adept creatures, take to their devices and

seek instantaneous gratification from their feeble, like minded peers or turn to antisocial burdens

to the prison and asylum industries.

I believe it to be agreed on by all people that the ridiculous abilities, or lack thereof, of addicted

children, those victims of this desocializing social revolution, are of a pitiful state in this country;

and therefore, whoever could resolve an effective, efficient method of ridding of nation of the

awful affliction of plague on our children should receive an award of the utmost significance.

It is not, however, my feeble intention to cure these kids of their state, but to rid ourselves of the

cause of this epidemic altogether.

Having churned over my mental processes for many moments, I highly resolve I have found a

perfect solution. Not only are these children to be forcibly introduced to one another and be

made to interact, socialize, and like it, but they will be removed entirely from the presence of the

World Wide Web. The number of persons in this great nation I reckon to be established at

roughly 300 million, and those under the age of 18 is about 75 million. Logically, removal of

internet access from this country, already considered wasteful at best, will result in nothing but a

greater skill, diversity of knowledge, and practical applications for the children of our day, and

will hardly any hindering to our technologically savvy state.

Once having forced children to meet with, interact with, and grow with other, they will begin to

socialize are leave behind their routines of desocialization. Some may say that the current

system of forcing these children to participate in a rigorous, team building process for much of
their childhoods for 8 hours a day would work, I beg to differ. How would a program like such

teach children to put away their devices and interact? It simply would not.

I would be simply foolish and daft to reject any option equal in substance, effectiveness, and

efficiency to mine. However, I would only merely entertain an idea like such if it addressed two

pressing issues. One of these is that of the reversion of their sickly, lonely ways and the

addressing of their recurring patterns. Secondly, I require this solution to reorganize against the

possibility of this plague affecting other subsequent generations. Seeing as there are no other

possible options, mine is the perfect solution.