9093/ May June 2015/ Paper 23

Section A:
2) Winter Turns To Spring.
Winter:
Cushions of pearl lay scattered upon the previously, verdant grass; the emerald long hidden with hues of
white that glinted in the low light of the faintly shimmering sun. patches and patches spread out so as far
as the eye could see, bundled up almost as if it were a fortress of blankets huddled together. one by one,
specks of frigidity tumbled down from the grey canvas that lingered above and slowly, lay as heaps on
top of the white blankets.
Footprints lay marks in the snow as little giggles enraptured the whole area. Hazel hued warm coats and
soft pale mufflers rolled around in the cold. Off to the side, three balls of snow were layered one on top of
the other, twigs protruding out from them. A lazy smile stretched across the snow as the roughly made
snowman stood off the side gazing at the mass of children whose glee lay in the rough patches of ice that
surrounded them.
At a distance, black cement lay, unbothered by the hurricane of white that plummeted down, almost as if
an invisible force was swishing it to the side. The boisterous horns of the cars zooming past roared in the
air, a loud prayer of thankfulness for the black instead of the white.
Unlike the stream of ice that stood to the side. Ice that was once as blue as it is now only, it fiddled
through the fingertips and arose a jostle of hushed cold that would shimmer down eventually. Only that it
was once water that had been captured by the frost that descended from the sky, by the ice that now fully
enraptured it; as if the huntsmen that caught the breathtaking princess.
Yet, despite that, the young laughter that boomed from the very epiphany of playful littered the area,
blatant and booming. For everyone else lay within the comfort of the tinted windows, gazing wistfully at
the haze that formed outside. Warm, brown liquid clutched in their hands, inhaling the steam that jutted
out of it as the sting of the burn hit their tongues. Jittery fingertips took embrace in the warmth, huddled
around in their coats as they gazed at the painting that came to life outside. As their irises stared at the
feathers that enraptured their young ones in their hold; the feathers hiding behind the snow coated greens
of the tress, shutting themselves out from the world, only to wake up when the sun would open its eyes
and the grey would finally disperse.

Spring:
When the grey finally did whisper its farewell, it was not black nor yellow that replaced it. But, a light
blue that hovered in the sky, soft and ethereal, a prayer calling all outside; a sign that winter is finally
over. The light ball of yellow accompanied the blue, with whiffs of white still laden in the sky. Off in the
distance, light chirps could be heard; chirps which had previously, been shushed by the grey. Strokes of
wings flattered against the breeze as they took flight in hoards and lunged against trees and leaves.
Laughter boomed again, unstifled as masses of young ones came outside yet again but this time, their
cotton shirts rolled around in the emerald of the grass and not the pearl of the snow. Within the emerald
however, there existed a rainbow. Reds and pinks, purples and blues; a manifestation of every hue singled
out into the soft touches of the flowers and the verdant trees.
They were underneath the shade of the tree this time, huddling in their light sweaters, warm brown liquids
clutched in their hands as they glanced at yet, another painting that came to life. This one held more
colours, more vibrancy; a glow of softness unmatched by the feel of any other.
The suns rays came down lightly, caressing the edges of their hairs, leaving a light peck behind. A swirl
of turquoise came before them, flitting around in the air, chasing something untouchable as the little thing
floated around, gleefully trying to enrapture the light. And, then it sat on the fingers, resting and they
could feel the light smile on its small face as the butterfly finally took flight with the wind.
Even the emerald trees basked in the glow; one that was stifled before, now finally blooming again. It
came out of its cocoon, no more white sweaters and lay itself bare underneath the blue sky. Just as they all
did. Just like the contour of each and every person out there. And they knew this blue would fling to an
even vibrant one that would be combined with a blazing yellow before it became a relaxing cantaloupe;
before it became a pale sheet of white yet again. And, maybe thats what was truly intriguing; the swirl of
layers of hues that happened right before their eyes. The sheet of paleness that was removed and
welcomed a warmth like no other; yet, the hurricane of winter itself was a joy and so were the swirling
colours of spring.
And, they hoped they would live to see it for another time.

Analysis
Composition and Effect
1. How does the introduction identify the subject? Is it an effective and interesting opening?
2. Does the choice of words bring sensory details and figures of speech to life?
3. Stylistic Features-Highlight the sensory details and figurative language. Write for each
technique what does it emphasis and what effect does it creates.
4. Underline the vocabulary/phrases which describes the atmosphere and vocabulary which
describes feelings and reactions and which appeals to senses. Explain the image/Picture frame
created by each.
5. Identify the powerful adverbs and adjectives and precise nouns and verbs which add precision
to the description
6. How well does he uses description to capture the readers attention and entertain us?
7. Comment on the voice adopted First person or third person.
8. Whether the description drifts into a story. How can you avoid it?
9. How well the writer has varied the tone and maintained the interest? Is the content coverage
detailed, well defined and developed to create an overall picture? Underline and explain its
effects.

Text Structure and Organisation

10. Does the introduction, body, conclusion provide logical sequencing. Explain how.
11. Does each paragraph has a clear cut idea or a snap shot view. Conveyed with enough details
12. Underline the range of devices deployed to create effective cohesion, e.g. varied sentence
links are achieved with economy and precision; ideas are balanced.
13. What is the effect created by using short paragraphs?
14. How does the writer maintains the cohesion between the paragraphs. What order of
organization has the writer used?
15. How well the introduction sets the scene and conclusion wraps up the description.

Sentence Structure and Punctuation.

16. Does the essay include effective sentences balance of simple, compound and complex?
Explain the effect of long and short sentences.
17. Is there accurate ambitious punctuation used to vary pace, clarify meaning, avoid ambiguity
and create deliberate effects? Explain
18.Underline the variety of verb forms including different tenses and modals used to create
interest.
19. How well the adverbial and adjectival phrases are used.
20. Underline the connectives or phrases used to build up details in description.
21.Does the writer maintains subject-verb agreement and maintain consistency in using tenses.