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Anything for Her Children: The Schema of My Mother About Other Mothers

Schema, as explained by cognitive psychology, is ones mental framework or

organization of knowledge, and the structure of related concepts about a particular subject.

We access these schemas to be able to efficiently adapt to situations using the knowledge that

we have. Also, the stereotypical perspective of individuals can be attributed to the formation

of schemas. As an implication, our schema of something influences our behavior in such a

way that we base our actions in performing a role or carrying out a task on the schemas we

have of it.

This schematic representation of knowledge is evident in our daily encounters,

specifically in our interpersonal relationships. For instance, in the family, being the eldest, I

act based on how I view being the eldest child. Similarly, our family members have their own

schemas on their role in the family. I had the chance to explore on this idea through an

interview with my mother, asking her about what her schema is of a mother. Her answer was

very simple: a mother will do anything for her children.

This schema my mom has of a mother is depicted on her behavior towards the family,

especially towards us, her children. She is very generous, caring, and nurturing as a mother.

The Filipino phrase isusubo na lang, ibibigay pa is very much applicable to how unselfish

my mother is. She works hard to be able to help my father provide our needs, and to be able

to give us other things that we want, even if they are not completely necessary. Sometimes,

she would give up buying things that she wants to be able to save up for whatever gift she

promised to give me and my sister. Her schema of a motherhood, which is to do anything for

her children, is something that she embodies as a mother herself.

This kind of schema also affects her evaluation of herself. Sometimes, when she feels

like she was not able to fulfill her responsibility as a mother, she would apologize over and
over again, and would even ask me if I still need whatever I asked her. For instance, one time

I was going to ask her if she could buy food for me from a particular restaurant in the mall

but she was not able to pick up the call. When she was on her way home, she called me

asking why I called. After telling her why, she apologized and she told me that if I really

wanted food from this restaurant, then she would go back to the mall just to buy food for me.

It seems like she evaluates herself as a mother based primarily on her sacrifices for her

children, which is very overwhelming and touching on my part as her daughter. It gives her a

sense of fulfillment whenever she accomplishes something for her children. Her schema that

a mother should do anything for the good of her children is very well reflected on this

characteristic of my mom.

Subsequently, her schema of a mother also affects how she perceives other mothers,

in such a way that she has set a standard for being a mother. For example, she has this idea

that a mom should put her family first before herself. She does not like maternal behaviors

that involve putting herself before her children. Whenever she sees that a mother

compromises the wants or needs of her child for her own personal gains, she gets frustrated.

She believes that selflessness is incorporated in motherhood, because as what has been

consistently reiterated, being a mother entails doing anything for her children.

From her behavior to her evaluation of other mothers, there is always a central theme

that emerges her schema of motherhood. Her schema that a mother should give and do

anything for the benefit of her children significantly affects her character as a mother. This

schema, for her, seems to be the ultimate definition she has of motherhood, and this is also

embedded on how she sees the world in relation to herself, given her role in the family. This

is how greatly our schemas influence our cognitive behavior.

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