Int.

House - Day

SIMON lies in bed and is waking up to strange sounds coming from

downstairs, the sounds of pots and pans. Suddenly something shatters
and SIMON jumps out of bed. SIMON goes to his cupboard and gets out
a baseball bat. He starts to make his way downstairs and the sound
started to stop. He walks into the kitchen and a pan on the stove
with bacon sizzling, the sink running, a broken bowl on the ground
surrounded by milk and cereal and all the chairs were stacked on the
table.

Int. HH set Day

JOE

Sounds like a hell of a mess.

SIMON

Absolute mess!

JOE
And you mentioned earlier that you had left all the doors locked?

SIMON

I never go to sleep without doing so. Im telling ya Joe, I had

never seen anything like it. I mean, how do you explain that? And
the chairs? That was something out of poltergeist. It didnt take
long to clean up which was good otherwise I would have been late to
work.

JOE

Interesting you mention poltergeist, do you think there is a strong

connection between these incidences and some supernatural force?

SIMON

Oh, absolutely. Theres no other explanation. I mean why else would

I be here?

JOE

Very much so. If youre just joining us now, were here with guest
speaker Simon Kingsley with the story of several strange,
unexplainable incidents and hes just told us the first paranormal
experience of his haunted history. Continue Simon.

SIMON

Well

JOE
 Im sorry Simon but we have to take a quick break well be back in
just a moment.

ROLL INTRO CREDITS

TXT
HAUNTED HISTORIES

Int. HH Set - Day

JOE

And welcome back to Haunted Histories. Simon! Im sure were all

eager to hear more about your run-ins with the mystical. Tell us,
what happened from then on.

SIMON

Well, after the kitchen incident I started to pick up on more

unusual occurrences, like my TV

Int. House Day

SIMON (VO)

for instance is one thing that really cracked my pepper. thered be

times where Id come home from work and it would just be on. I would
grab the remote and turn it off but in another hour or so it would
just turn itself back on.

SIMON comes into house and sees open TV. Remote is on back of couch
and he turns off the TV.

SIMON is brushing his teeth when he comes into the room to see the
TV on again. He looks shocked.

Int. HH set Day

JOE

Very unusual, very unusual. And did this occur often?

SIMON

A few times, yeh. I had even gotten in a repair man to see what was
happening but as I suspected, there was nothing wrong with it.

JOE

(deeply)

Fascinating!

SIMON
Isnt it? And its little things also, like just sometimes Ill hear
the toilet flush on its own,

Int. House- Day

SIMON sitting in loung hearing toilet flush and looking around.

SIMON (VO)

The door slamming

SIMON in the kitchen hears the front door slam.

SIMON (VO)

And a few weekends ago I had gone away and when I got back the wall
in the lounge had changed colour

Int. HH Set Day

JOE

Wow, a different colour! Most unusual! It seems to me as if whatever

resides in your house is trying to communicate in some way.

SIMON

Oh, they are definitely trying to communicate. I left a note to

myself to re-paint it because the colour frankly was hideous.
Anyway, the biggest incident of all happened the other night, it
really pushed me over the limit, one that confirmed any suspicion of
a lost soul of some sort living in my house and not only did I hear
the voice I saw the body.

CROWD

(murmurs)

Int. House Night

SIMON (VO)

I was laying in my bed, struggling to sleep, I dont recall why but

Im certain it was the forces of the house keeping me awake. Then I
started to hear it. The wailing, the groaning. Footsteps coming up
the staircase. I was frozen in place, staring at the door. Didnt
know what to do, didnt know what to think!

SIMON gets up, grabs his baseball bat and goes to turn on the light
but it doesnt work. He slowly opens the door to the corridor and he
can hear the wailing once again. He looks in that direction but sees
nothing. Then out of the shadows a dark figure stumbling towards
him, moaning and groaning! Barely being able to see, SIMON swings
his baseball bat and hits something. He drops it and runs out of the
house, and into the street.

Int. HH set Day

JOE

Where did you go?

SIMON

My friends house. Ive only been back at my house for a night or

two and theres been nothing unusual... yet.

JOE

Wow, you must have been terrified!

SIMON

Honestly, Joe, I had never been more afraid in my life. I mean why
me? I dont understand, is it the house?

JOE

Well, Simon although weve heard nothing quite like this on the show
before, I could say that based on past judgement, supernatural
forces seem to target one house for many different reasons. We
suspect one reason is that the house is a cross dimensional portal,
if you will, and can leak through parts of our world with another
world.

SIMON

Well whatever it is it needs to stop so I have come on this show to

ask for help. Ive heard you guys have had experience in dealing
with these situations?

JOE

Well not so fast Simon you cant simply assume we help anyone who
comes on the show wed have hundreds of cases. No, no, you see we
get the viewing audience to take your story into consideration and
vote your story serious or insignificant and if they think its a
serious matter, we will organise a team of paranormal investigators
to take care of your situation at a very low cost

SIMON

Low cost of..?

JOE
 Im terribly sorry Simon but thats all the time we have for you
today, we have another speaker coming in with a similar situation to
Simons here, dont go away folks, the stories have only just begun.

SIMON

But-

JOE

Well be right back!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

JOE

Welcome back again, we are now here with Foster how do you do
Foster?

FOSTER

Yeh not too bad mate, yourself?

JOE

Im fine thank you. So Foster, tell us. Whats your haunted history?

FOSTER

Oh mate, its fucked! So you seen that film where all the weird
stuff happens to this one family and it turns out to be ghosts n
shit? No joke, this has been happening to me over the past few
weeks. Now I got some stories and no one believed me they said I was
crazy but I saw this show on TV and Im like, oh finally, I can be
heard.

JOE

Well, it is common where people have had experiences with the

paranormal and have chosen to keep quiet due to embarrassment and
such, its perfectly normal. We just know better.

FOSTER

Yeh, right. Anyway so, um, what happened was this one time, I got up
pretty early yeh. Im in the kitchen cooking up a storm, you know I
got bacon, coffee

Int. House Day

FOSTER (VO)

Im making a bit of a mess. I left it for a sec then I went to make

meself a bowl of cereal.
FOSTER is in kitchen cooking. He lets the water run to soak some
dishes and goes to pour himself a bowl of cereal. He moves it over
to the table and he stubs his toe and he drops it on the ground.

FOSTER

Shit!

FOSTER (VO)

So naturally my first thought was to get this shit cleaned up. So I

chucked the chairs up on the table and went for the mop.

FOSTER goes into the laundry to get mop but sees toilet. He goes in
toilet.

Int. HH set- Day

FOSTER (VO)

Now see, at the time, I really needed to take a shit. So I stopped

by the toilet to do a quick business, and it had taken a bit longer
than I thought. And suddenly I realised Id left the stove on so Im
thinking shit! But you know I couldnt get off the loo I had a
turtle head popping out so I had to wait til I finished up then I
rushed to the kitchen and I couldnt believe my eyes. All clean!

Int. House- Day

He finishes up in the toilet and rushes back to kitchen. The entire

kitchen has been cleared up. FOSTER looks shocked.

Int. HH set- Day

JOE looks a little shocked, then confused

JOE

Interesting. So the whole kitchen had just cleaned itself up! And
you mentioned in your comments that you live alone?

FOSTER

Oh yeah, hell with roommates cant stand em. Anyway so this was just
the beginning, heaps of shit happened from then on. One time I was
laying on the couch in front of the TV slowly falling asleep and

Int. House- Day

FOSTER sleepily lying on the couch facing TV.

FOSTER (VO)
Suddenly, the thing just shut off! I mean what the hell is that. I
turn to grab the remote, and turn it back on but then about an hour
later its turned off again.

Int. HH set- Day

FOSTER

I even got a repair guy in but he said nothing was wrong with it

JOE is looking very confused and deeply interested.

JOE

Go on

FOSTER

Its just, its all kinds of stuff like I hear the door slamming,
footsteps in the house shit like that. This one thing scared the
shit out of me! So I thought this wall in my house needed a new
colour so over the weekend a while ago, I decided to give it a
paint. Next day I see a note on the fridge saying re-paint wall

Int. house Day

FOSTER painting wall,

FOSTER reading note.

Int. HH set- Day

FOSTER

And Im shittin myself. I mean what is that? Mustve offended the

bugger or something I dont know

JOE leans back on his chair and shows signs of deep thinking.

FOSTER

Nothing tops this though, the other night. The ghost actually
attacked me! No joke!

JOE

Attacked you! Physically attacked?

FOSTER

The bastard whacked me!

JOE looks shocked

FOSTER
 It wasnt pleasant. So, Id gone out for the night with some of the
boys down at the pub and you know I was pretty blathered, you know
Id had a fair few so I thought it was time for bed. I dont
remember this that well but Im absolutely certain it happened. I
struggled to get upstairs firstly and Id knocked my leg on the last
step trying to get up and I fell forwards. It hurt heaps and I was
so sore. Suddenly I hear this clicking noise, at first it sounded
like the light switch but it couldnt have been coz the lights were
still out. Now, Im struggling to see a bit and the next thing I
know Im being whacked in the arm by a floating baseball bat! It got
me so hard! From then on I dont remember what happened.

Int. House- night

FOSTER is trying to get upstairs drunk. He knocks his shin on the

last step and stumbles over. He starts moaning and whining
drunkenly. Suddenly he gets hit by a baseball bat and collapses.

Int. HH set- Day

JOE looks shocked. He looks at the camera and at the audience.

JOE

Is it just me?

FOSTER

What? Did you hear? The bastard knocked me out.

JOE

Foster I think I know whats going on here.

FOSTER

You do? Coz I bloody well dont

JOE

We had a very similar story on here just prior to you very similar
indeed.

FOSTER

Alright.

JOE

Are you acquainted with a mister Simon Kingsley at all?

FOSTER

Kingsley... dunno, rings a bell

 JOE

Rings a bell, right. Umm, well Foster, Im not sure quite how to
tell you this. Simon was sitting in that chair just moments ago
telling us his haunted history.

FOSTER

Okay

JOE

And based from what he told us and what youve now told us It would
seem that the situation here is very straight forward indeed Its
obvious that

Int. House day

Foster leaving the kitchen as Simon walks in.

Foster lying on couch while Simon comes in and grabs remote to turn
off TV, neither of them see each other

Foster walking out the door and Simon hearing only the door close
and then looks.

The two walk past each other as one goes upstairs and one walks the
other way downstairs.

FOSTER leans in eagerly.

JOE (Contd)

You are both definitely in need of paranormal investigators! What do

we think audience?

CROWD

(murmurs oddly)

FOSTER

Oh sweet!

JOE

(quickly)

We will organise to send them over to both your houses as soon as

possible to investigate and repair your situation at the low cost of
seven thousand dollars and thats that, goodnight folks thanks for
watching!

FOSTER
 Wait, how much?!

JOE

Stay tuned for next weeks Haunted Histories!

FOSTER

Who the hell is Simon!?

Haunted Histories outro commences and show ends.

Roll show credits. Fade out

Fade in

Int. House- day

SIMON is putting down his keys and the door opens. FOSTER walks in.

SIMON

Umm, sorry can I help you?

FOSTER

Help me? How did you get in here?

SIMON

I live here

FOSTER

No you dont I live here.

SIMON

Look, I dont know who you are but this isnt funny, please leave.

FOSTER

Fuck off you leave, this is my house!

SIMON

Your house!? How dare you! I have lived here for months

FOSTER

I have lived here for years!

SIMON

Im calling the police

FOSTER
 Go ahead, youre the one trespassing!

JOANNA walks into house

JOANNA

Um excuse me.

SIMON and FOSTER both look.

JOANNA

What are you doing in my house?

SIMON and FOSTER look at each other.

Cut to black.

Roll credits