Sentencing In The United States

by Riana Burbank

Submission date: 18-Sep-2017 10:32AM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 847819564
File name: RianaBurbank.ExtendedDef inition.Sentencing..docx (491.28K)
Word count: 2278
Character count: 11838
 Thoroughly researched
definition!

solid one-sentence
definition.

conceptual
problem here--
deterrance and
number syst em
rehab are not
punishments. Can
you reword
accordingly?

This is a solidly researched

history--very good. See below
for areas that need further
details.

Are you
saying the
Revolution
was fought
because of
"eye for an
eye"? I think
during what
time period?
(you've been
discussing
several, so
best to
clarify).
 Wait, does Congress
have this "real
expertise"? Explain.

between whom and

whom?
I think
your two
biggest
writing
u
issues
n
are 1) the purpose of what? watch out
c
unclear for unclear references.
l
referenc
e
es, and
a
2)
r
keeping
-
your
-
focus on
w
your
h
chosen
i
topic.
c
See
h
commen
This is j
ts
so o
througho
informati b
ut
ve!toVery
see ?
example
helpful
s.
for
readers,
Is
butcuttin
even
more
g off
helpful
hands
with time
consi
periods
dered
suggest
Are
"Incap
ed.
"decent
acitati
" and
on"?
"law
Curio
abiding
us
" conne
equival
ction
 what process?

These subtopics are very interesting, but you're steering

away from your keyword: sentencing. Your definition should
just discuss sentencing. For example, you could trace the
history of sentencing for a particular crime. This extra
information caused you to exceed the page limits, too.
which individuals, and please
explain the higher chance of being
found guilty?

This one is much clearer--

good explanation.

who was involved? the

general public? victims?
Sentencing In The United States
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

86
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. T horoughly researched def inition!

Text Comment. solid one-sentence def inition.

Text Comment. conceptual problem here--deterrance and rehab are not punishments. Can
you reword accordingly?

QM number system
T his is a good attempt at using the number system--it's not plagiarism, but you still need to
look up the number system and use it properly.
Additional Comment

start with #1

Text Comment. T his is a solidly researched history--very good. See below f or areas that
need f urther details.

Text Comment. Are you saying the Revolution was f ought because of "eye f or an eye"? I
think there was more to it . . .

PAGE 2

Text Comment. during what time period? (you've been discussing several, so best to
clarif y).

PAGE 3
 Text Comment. Wait, does Congress have this "real expertise"? Explain.

Text Comment. between whom and whom?

Text Comment. I think your two biggest writing issues are 1) unclear ref erences, and 2)
keeping your f ocus on your chosen topic. See comments throughout to see examples.

Text Comment. unclear--which job?

Text Comment. the purpose of what? watch out f or unclear ref erences.

Text Comment. T his is so inf ormative! Very helpf ul f or readers, but even more helpf ul with
time periods suggested.

Text Comment. Is cutting of f hands considered "Incapacitation"? Curious connection

between the two!

Text Comment. Are "decent" and "law abiding" equivalent?

PAGE 4

Text Comment. what process?

Text Comment. T hese subtopics are very interesting, but you're steering away f rom your
keyword: sentencing. Your def inition should just discuss sentencing. For example, you could
trace the history of sentencing f or a particular crime. T his extra inf ormation caused you to
exceed the page limits, too.

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

Text Comment. which individuals, and please explain the higher chance of being f ound
guilty?

Text Comment. T his one is much clearer--good explanation.

Text Comment. who was involved? the general public? victims?

PAGE 8
PAGE 9
RUBRIC: 30 1 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Advanced

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Advanced

SLO #2: Using the appropriate majors customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Prof icient

SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.
COLLABORAT ION
SLO 6: Improve ones own and others writing skills through the assessment and critique of written works.

ABSENT OR BELOW No ef f ort appears to have been made to unif y the def inition's style and substance. It
BASIC looks like multiple writers pasted their work together.

DEVELOPING Some ef f ort to unif y the def inition's style and substance is evident, although it is
clear that multiple people composed it.

PROFICIENT Def inition's style and substance are usually unif ied. It usually appears as though one
writer composed it.

ADVANCED Def inition's style and substance are unif ied. It appears as though one writer
composed it.
Sentencing In The United States
ORIGINALITY REPORT

1 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
0%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
1%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Cathedral Catholic High School
St udent Paper 1%
2
scholarship.law.duke.edu
Int ernet Source <1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On