An experience of inscribed collectivity:

the trace of a gendered journey (mid-point 17:10:2006

Bristol UK)

MIKE GALLANT

mike.gallant@bristol.ac.uk

Fe b r u a r y 2 0 0 7
 An experience of inscribed collectivity

An experience of inscribed collectivity:

the trace of a gendered journey (mid-point 17:10:2006
Bristol UK)

Abstract

This paper is an attempt, through text and other visual techniques, to convey

my own experience of taking part in a short collective biography workshop.

Through the experience of the workshop, subsequent reflection and diaries,

and through the use of writing as a methodology I have created a paper that

reflects my belief that inscribed within my body is my own local knowledge of

gender and, more importantly, intimate connection to other humans – I

continue to consider how open these inscriptions are to adaptation,

development, conflation or abandonment.

This is a „Rites of Passage‟ story. After setting the context, I give a short

history of this Collective Biography, before exploring aspects of my personal

experience. I conclude by briefly considering the pain of inscription.

An experience of inscribed collectivity

Stuff and Non/sense

I am troubled and confused. Where to begin? Hesitate. Deep breath. My

God, this paper has been a challenge. My body feels tense right now – why

was it that yesterday, when I knew that I must finally put all my notes

together and create a text fit for my peers (and the academy), I inexplicably

pulled a muscle in my shoulder that makes it more painful to type? Why do I

know that the typing would in any case be painful? Why is my breathing

shallow breathing in this moment of introspection, of dialogue with my

selves?

Many questions; many answers:

1. „A text fit my peers‟, I say in passing, and perhaps that is one crucial

aspect of this present writing: how to do justice to the shared

experience of others? Of course, this is no different to the prospect

of communicating any form of research that involves human beings

beyond myself. And yet that experience of Group C1 in conversation

and collaboration demands more – maybe because it became so

essentially „meaningful‟ to me that I continue to hold it in aspic, to

watch it like the desired dessert whose sweetness can only be

savoured after the tedious main course. I‟m bloated by the vastness

of the main course of my life. I want no space to consume my just

desserts. And then there is a desperate fear that, while I look on, the
An experience of inscribed collectivity

experience may already be ossified, fit only for the mausoleum of

many group experiences.

2. I need to recognise that the subject matter of our collective

conversation (early experiences of gender) resonates with my

continuing personal experience of my daughter‟s bullying at the hands

of older boys. There is a mouldering tanginess of disgust in the

passages of my head, and a pent up energy within these old bones. A

paradox of mildewed compost-bin history and lime pickle all in one

stumbling, continuous moment of life. I am part of this live political

experience. I am the Action Researcher in my own world. I wish to

make a difference.

3. I am afraid that I may not be able to make a difference. I am afraid

that this work today may not make a difference. I am afraid.

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 1

„… it kind of irks me to see boys sit down unnecessarily. Stand tall and be proud. With a
little practice they can help extinguish a campfire because believe me, until you have experienced
that little gem you haven't really lived.‟

Jack‟s Shack, 2006

As Mikhail Bakhtin suggests, “…I become myself only by revealing myself to another,

through another and with another‟s help…. I cannot do without the other: I cannot become

myself without the other: I must find myself in the other, finding the other in me (in mutual

reflection and perception)” (Todorov, 1984, p.96). And so it was, that in a

An experience of inscribed collectivity

significant manner I discovered more of myself, and others, in the clinical

spaces of bleached academic meeting rooms. The unbearable lightness of

being in spaces that add little sense of a history – at least, of a history that

reaches as far into the past as the stories that we shared. This in itself

impacted on the gelling of a collective who, though knowing each other,

knew nothing much of each other. Sue, Sophie, Malcolm, Mike and Christine

– I salute us all!

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience – 2

…there was shame attached to being a ‘girl’ in a boys

world, or a ‘boy’ in a girls world. We have not yet had
time within the collective to tease out more about what it
meant to be ‘a boy’ or ‘a girl’ or multi-gendered.
Sue Dale (Collective Member), 2006

A short history of this Collective Biography

A „collective biography‟ could simply be an expression describing the normal

method of constructing meaning within societies: we tell each other stories

of our personal experiences, and construct from this a shared understanding

of the world we inhabit. However, how we tell these stories is significant:

they may be communicated through spoken and non-verbal language in a

direct person-to-person experience, or they may be recorded (and

subsequently decoded by reader/observer) through written text or other

An experience of inscribed collectivity

recorded visual forms (e.g. cave painting, photography etc.). What has now

become known amongst qualitative researchers as Collective Biography uses

both these forms of discourse in an attempt to uncover lived experience and

throw light on unseen normative influences at work within societies2.

The very simplicity of the idea, in the sense that it directly replicates a

constructionist view of meaning making, is perhaps its strength. However,

the concept has no definition as such, having developed from the Memory-

Work of socialist-feminist researchers in Eastern Europe led by Frigga Haug

(Haug et al., 1987; Haug, 1992; Onyx & Small, 2001), who carried the concept

to Australia and into the hands of Bronwyn Davies and others (e.g. Davies &

Gannon, 2006). It was here that post-structuralism nurtured and re-shaped

this process of collective auto-ethnographic research whilst retaining the

centrality of gender as its primary subject matter.

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 3

„You forgot to mention being able to write your name in the snow ;-)‟

Jack‟s Shack, 2006

“The term, “collective biography” is useful because it both describes the method of
working with personal stories and the oxymoronic implication of the phrase
foregrounds the tension between the individual and the collective that is both the crux
of the method and the source of its dilemmas.”
Gannon, quoted in Onyx & Small, 2001
An experience of inscribed collectivity

So it was that Jane Speedy (2006), in her work as a narrative therapist and

researcher, encountered the Collective Biography of Australian academia and

brought home the concept to colleagues and students in the Graduate School

of Education in Bristol. In this UK version of Collective Biography,

members of the research group (or collective) share personal stories of their

own experiences around a theme (in this case Explorations of Gender and Power).

These, or other, stories are then individually written before being

constructively critiqued by other members of the collective in a protocol

based around the techniques of Definitional Ceremony and Reflecting

Teamwork (White, 1995). At least – that was the theory3.

In Australia the intensity of the Collective Biography process had been

heightened by the practice of holding residential workshops in the holiday

destination of Magnetic Island. These groups were always single gender,

continuing the feminist tradition of Frigga Haug and her colleagues. The

academically validated Collective Biography unit, from which this paper

results, appears to be the first attempt at work with a mixed-gender collective.

It also differed from previous Collective Biography workshops in the length

of time that the collective (in my own case, Group C) was physically together.

It was generally recognised by all participants that ten hours or less was

unlikely to be sufficient time to produce research results: it was hoped that

the experience would engender some understanding of the process, and offer

the chance of follow-up work should the collective choose.

An experience of inscribed collectivity

Collective Biography is not only story telling. Writing as a methodology for

research has long been recognised (e.g. Richardson, 1997, 2000; Richardson &

St. Pierre, 2005) and is central to the Collective Biography process. However,

although a protocol for the development of individually and collectively

written work has crystallised out from past experiences of collectives, for

many participants it seems that the simple presence of “…our bodies together in a

particular place and time” is crucial to the process (Davies & Gannon, 2006,

p.118; see also Park, 2005). Susanne Gannon goes on; “… our collective writing

in cyberspace … has been sustained by the deeply embodied experience of these bodies

together in that place” (ibid., p.118).

This has been my personal experience of Collective Biography so far – I find

myself pondering as to how long such a trauma (for that is a reasonable

description of my felt experience, despite its more normal negative

connotations) remains embodied.

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 4

When I was a child, I spake like a child,

I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

(The Bible, `1 Corinthians 11)

 An experience of inscribed collectivity
Shared experience in Collective Biography4
Journal Day 3
I’ve worked in many groups,
therapeutic, training, definitional
ceremony, supervisory, but this
group was different. The
experience so profound is difficult
to put into words. The difference
between feeling ‘a connected
individual’ within a group of other
connected individuals with varying
group dynamics, to what went
beyond this description towards
collective experience. This
‘something’ held between us
created a feeling deep within my
body as if these other stories
became embodied within my
experience. Hearing the stories
again, becoming that giggling boy
in the cupboard, the girl left
behind crying ‘don’t go with(out)
me’ ‘the boaters on elastic and
the chest high elbows reminding
me that I don’t belong here
anymore’ that small boy who was
‘too big’ and ‘who should have been
a girl’ that ‘invisible’ child
ashamed. There was for me a
sense of becoming multi-gendered.
The brutal betrayal of ripping
him/her apart, the bewilderment,
the flatness. The movement
towards individual (ness) within a
group which hurts so much.
Sharing these stories amongst a
wider audience needed for me to
move back into that same place of
collective, but this time shift the
stories into an older less
vulnerable place. I had become
‘feeling invisible’ ‘not belonging’
‘still unfair’ ‘in the cupboard’ ‘alone
in the rain’.
Oh, what a surge of excitement as I read this –
that my own body is not mistaken in its feelings
(though how can a body be mistaken in what it
feels?). I‟ve worked in many groups, early
encounter groups in the 1970‟s through to
facilitating therapeutic single gender groups and
personal development groups for professional
training in counselling and psychotherapy.
I too found the experience of Group C
something beyond words – so I‟ve freed myself
from words and let myself create a picture to
express this „something‟ that we speak about
deep in our bodies5. For now, as I write I can
surely feel that experience, and can touch some
part of you, Sue. And now I‟m feeling Malcolm
and the sun; now Christine, always upright,
always held in tension, so perfectly book-learnt
Chinese - and little girl so, so valued; I feel
water (where is that intervening image seeping
from right now as I become aware of this
tingling sensation of real living shooting
through the physical body of mine?) and a duck
pool6 in the courtyard square; and Josie‟s
budding breasts and confusion; and my own
little self, peeing up the shed wall as high as I
can, and then, yes, how could I ever be what
was demanded of me?7 To be a girl in the body
of a boy – to become multi-gendered.
As I sit for a moment, contemplating the „brutal
betrayal‟ I become aware that my left hand is
pulling my shirt and fleece clear away from my
throat. A constricted sense of being suffocated
by this demand to …
… belong? And this was an experience of
belonging – and of keeping each other safe. Of
walking away together to a place of less
confusion, a place of growing autonomy, where
the haunting memories of earlier childhood
were once more invisible. And yet, we (in so
many ways an experienced group of adult
educators) did not have the immediate
knowledge or experience of which way to turn.
An experience of inscribed collectivity

How I feel when I experience Group C

Figure 1. How do I feel when I experience Group „C‟?

An experience of inscribed collectivity

10

A taste of ginger in Collective Biography8

Ginger helps on the boat -

A thin slice of fresh root held
between teeth and cheek
takes away a little of the rough passage

Twelve hours of tossing and turning

in my narrow cabin bunk -
bereaved
lost

such a precious time

together -
a delicious time –
discovering each other and ourselves
like lovers

late adolescence tales

of drug-induced gladness in Australia, York
and ourselves
taking away the pain of earlier-year stories
told but yesterday

Green Claw over tea and toast

(1)Rebellion
(2)Revolution and then (3)
Revisionism – and the banner swirls red-blood high
for just a few more moments
before the wind dies

Sick with the swell

and the rising and the yawling
I crawl to my notepad
the rhizome calling
An experience of inscribed collectivity

11

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 5

It grew less to be like fucking,

and more like making love

Al Stewart, Love Chronicles, 19699

An experience of Collective Biography10

After I read it out to you, you gave your first impressions - and I jotted
down some of the words and phrases that resonated with my own
experience and added to it.

This is what I wrote:

Disappointment - feeling heavy

feeling sad
child in an adult world - not getting it
'Rain not as gentle' phrase v.poignant & sad

You were Too big - she was damaged - heavy/sad

- cars punctuate events
embodiment sense
raining running down a
window like tears streaming
Sense of responsibility down - lonely
for nothing I had control
over - like the rain trapped like a feral
animal
Too big - too small - animal skin of leather smell

This material should perhaps be the starting point for my contribution to the

Group C collective should we decide to pursue the issue of „gender and

power‟ through the method of Collective Biography.

An experience of inscribed collectivity

12

I recall the joy of really writing something that hit home in the pit of my

stomach; the pain of re-writing and the sense of validation as the collective,

each voice alone, agreed: my work was better for the immediacy, the

simplicity, the sheer uncluttered emotive phenomena of the first version (see

Appendix 2).

CB: THEY DID

IT THEIR WAY!
To quote Davies, et al:
(2000 :19) this process is
not the ‘warm fuzzy pursuit
of empathy’ and ‘The
questioning and challenging
of each other’s stories can
take on a ruthless
quality’11
This was the way that
tutors broke the news to
the participants on the
Collective Biography
workshop at Toffsville Uni
last October – no, there
would be no tree frogs in
Bristol – because here in
the UK we can take the
strain and lap up the pain!
Well, that wasn’t to be the
message the mad bolshies in
one caucus would take heed
of. They thought they knew
better! Three women and two
men (whoever heard of
mixing gender in Collective
Biography? – there’ll
always be questions there
won’t there?) played away
and claim to have done the
whole thing painlessly.
One member of the tear-away
gang, Mike Gallant, said
‘it’s all about involvement
and intimacy, caring and
contentment, it’s about the
paradoxes of
poststructuralist humanism
and a constructionist
worldview.’
‘Bollocks!’, we say - if
it’s going to be proper
Collective Biography it’s
gotta hurt – know what we
mean?
Have your say – log on at
www.cb.getitright.co.uk to
tell the softy lefties that
socialism just ain’t like
that! Ask Frigga Haug!
An experience of inscribed collectivity

13

Themes in our Collective Biography

Gender and Power

Mortal, invisible

Invincible [I think of this as Sue‟s repeating theme]

In life inaccessible

hid from our eyes

Explorative

Shame

Physical hurting, confusion and aloneness

Group Process

You tell yours and I want to tell mine (experience)

Inexplicable connection

Possessiveness

Anger, defensiveness and xenophobia (other groups don‟t do it like us)

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 6

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Rudyard Kipling, If12

An experience of inscribed collectivity

14

Plagiarism in Collective Biography13

>
> Back to the collective. Plgiarism (can't
even spell it!) is always a
> problem to me in that as I listen to
other peoples stories, they become
> part
> of my own story and it is very difficult
to separate me from them - does
> that make any sense? This unit is a
minefield of shared experience and
> I'm
> not sure that it would be right to take
Yes, let‟s get back there! And the
sooner the better …
I know that I‟m using your ideas and
even your words – and I know that I
will sign a form saying that these are
all my own words except the ones
that aren‟t – though God only knows
where my words come from if they
don‟t come from you – and you – and
you – and you
And yet, of course I know
(connaissance or savvy?) what
plagiarism is – it‟s not this.
This is my story – and this is your

out the collective stuff.
>
Sue Dale email 27:11:06 8:34
story – this is the „riparian zone‟14 that
is such a nutrient-rich area close to
the flowing waters of the river of my
world.

Although the material products of Collective Biography can be genuinely the

work of one author (for example, the writings of a member of the collective

who is collating their own experience of the collective), an explanation of

how the product came to its fruition (a requirement of an academic

assignment such as this) necessarily benefits from extensive quoting of the

written work (or other recorded communications – verbal, non-verbal,

electronically mediated or immediately experienced) of other members of the

collective. In this collective method of writing it is the very process of

savouring (savoir) the text of others that creates, through the distanciation,

another hermeneutic cycle. This is not plagiarism.

An experience of inscribed collectivity

15

Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 7

(Hanif) Kureishi made the interesting point that we

are no-longer shocked: It used to be – not that long ago –
that to shock was shocking, but that isn’t the case anymore.
Now to shock is to conform and there doesn’t seem to be
such a thing as normalcy – if there was it would be shocking.
According to Kureishi, we all desire to be shocked,
and art finds that harder and harder to do now –
that is why he wanted to get finished early enough to
get home in time to catch Big Brother’s action of the day.

Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear (2007)

Conclusion on this Collective Biography

Feelings are embodied; texts are inscribed. On balance I believe that my

experience of gender and power has been both embodied (through primary

experience) and inscribed (through recontextualised media). Inscribing is the

more painful of the two processes, though most of the time I can‟t feel it.

‘George MacLeod described Iona as a "thin place" - only a tissue paper

separating the material from the spiritual. To spend some time in such a
historic and inspiring setting is to be open to challenge and the exploration
of new horizons.’ 15

I have found another “thin place” – it is a place I can carry with me into any

space – it is a place where I own my understandings – a place where I thicken,

sprout, nurture and fertilize – a thin place where I can touch you … through

the tissue paper.

An experience of inscribed collectivity

16

Notes

1. Group C was one third of the student and tutor participants of the October
2006 Collective Biography Unit of the Bristol University EdD (Narrative Strand)
course. Meeting over two and a half days, the „taught course‟ contained
substantial input from tutors and students in addition to approximately ten
hours spent in the small group Collective Biography workshop on Explorations in
Gender and Power.

2. An essential feature of Collective Biography as a research method is that,

compared to other (qualitative and quantitative) techniques there is more
substantial creation of knowledge (savvy?) through a tight (in terms of time and
space) hermeneutical cycle. An interesting observation here, and one that aligns
Collective Biography with Western Scientific Knowledge (WSK) rather than
Traditional Knowledge (TK) (see, for example, Dods, 2004), is that in common
with modernist western society, written text is relied on as the dominant
producer of savoir („know how‟ knowledge). Although the distanciation that this
produces may allow for a hermeneutical cycle that thickens understanding within
the Collective, this understanding may be mistaken for connaissance („know that‟,
true/false knowledge) by the reader of the research product who necessarily
experiences „decontextualisation‟ and „recontextualisation‟ within the context of
its reading (see, for example, Ricoeur 1998). This is perhaps an unavoidable
aspect of communicating any „research‟ that uses the pathways and
dissemination techniques of WSK! It is a strength of Collective Biography as
part of the „Grand Narrative‟ of WSK.

3. Our tutors, Jane Speedy, Tim Bond and Malcolm Reed, set the „rules‟ for our
Collective Biography workshop before we began (see Appendix 1). In practice,
Group C discovered such delight in the story-telling aspects of the process, and
such a sense of immediacy in our first written work, that we ignored rules and
created an intimate group experience that perhaps led more towards personal
growth than a Collective Biography. I was happy to take such a rare opportunity
to share intimate life experience, and to enjoy the feelings engendered. For us,
Collective Biography appeared to be about the outcomes suggested by Bronwyn
Davies and colleagues (2004) though without the ruthless qualities of
questioning and without the fuzzy empathy. Empathy was not what I, at least,
felt – connection and intimacy describe my feelings more accurately. The
difference is certainly subtle!
An experience of inscribed collectivity

17

4. The left hand column is the work of Sue Dale - shared with the collective (by
email) November 2006. I have written a commentary of my reactions to her
words in the right hand column.

5. In 2002 I kept a „Visual Diary‟ (see, for example, Ganim & Fox, 1999) that
involved a daily meditation on a particular aspect of my experience before
translating the feeling of that experience into a visual piece of „art‟. Since that
time I have occasionally used the technique to clarify my experience without the
use of language and/or text. I began the process on this occasion by writing the
question “How do I feel when I experience Group C?”. I meditated on this for
five to ten minutes and then created the image, first with an extravagant pencil
„doodle‟ and then using this series of shapes as a base for pastel colour.

6. I realised later that my embodied feeling of a pool in relation to reading Sue‟s

words (which in turn related to Christine‟s story) might have been prompted by
Christine‟s own words (interestingly, I had altered „pond‟ to „pool‟ in the text as I
came to the end of the phrase, as the word „pond‟ didn‟t feel right): “Once we start
telling, each story seems to lead to the next, one person‟s memories triggering another‟s. There is
some laughter, but also distress and powerlessness in our stories and we lean in towards each
other as the telling and responding goes round. I talk of my sense of a gathering „pool‟ of stories
in the middle which connect us. After about an hour (by this time we‟ve abandoned the bits of
paper with tasks and timings) we have a tea break and, slightly less connected, get back
together again to write a short piece each. I move my chair out of the tight circle and turn away
to write – others do the same.” Christine Bell (Collective Member), 2006.

7. Appendix 2 is the text of the story I wrote on the first day of the Collective
Biography Unit at Bristol on 16th October 2006. It concerns my early experience
of being aware of my gender, and how I learnt that I was the „wrong‟ gender.

8. This interlude celebrates what has been termed the rhizomatic qualities of a
research methodology that includes „writing on‟ rather than „writing up‟ the
available data (see, for example, Amorim & Ryan, 2005).

9. “The second album by Al Stewart received early notoriety for including the word "fucking" in
its title track, and reprinting the word on its inner gatefold sleeve for all to see. Shocking. The
controversy thus gained was probably useful in garnering sales of the record, but, truth to tell, it
overshadowed the real reason why 'Love Chronicles' was as vital to the student population of
1969 as Heinz beans, matches and marijuana. It was, and is, for the most part, a very fine
record.” Accessed at http://www.headheritage.co.uk/unsung/review/599 on 3rd
February 2007.

10. After an introduction to the theory and practice of Collective Biography work
the large group of the Collective Biography unit was split into three working
An experience of inscribed collectivity

18

collectives. I found myself in Group C. I was not aware of any particular choice
in the division of the large group. There was an initial period of extensive story
telling and conversation around the theme of „my earliest experience of gender‟,
before we spent twenty to thirty minutes writing a story of an early experience of
gender (Appendix 2). We then read these stories to each other, one at a time,
giving limited feedback on our immediate cognitive and visceral reactions to
each others‟ material. That evening I re-wrote the contemporaneous notes I had
made as the other members of the collective gave me their feedback on my own
story. It is that which is reproduced here as the starting point for this section.

11. This quote is from the Guidelines for Collective Biography given out to
participants as part of the pre-reading for the module (see Appendix 1).

12. The final two lines of „If‟ by Rudyard Kipling accessed on January 20th 2007 at
http://www.allspirit.co.uk/kipling.html

13. The question of plagiarism was raised in email communications between

members of the collective. There was concern about matching the needs of the
assessment process of the University with the reality of the Collective Biography
process.

14. See Park, 2005.

15. I visited the island of Iona whilst travelling with my partner at the age of
seventeen and it made a lasting impression on me. The Iona community, based
at the Abbey church on the island (though now comprising members worldwide)
was founded in 1938 „… by the Rev George MacLeod, is an ecumenical Christian
community of men and women from different walks of life and different traditions in the
Christian church that is committed to seeking new ways of living the gospel of Jesus Christ in
today's world‟. Text is from http://www.iona.org.uk/abbey/main.htm accessed
on January 27th 2007.
An experience of inscribed collectivity

19

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Art and Interpretation: an anthology of readings in aesthetics and the philosophy of
art. Orchard Park, NY: Broadview Press.

Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear (2007) “Are you „in‟ or „out‟?” [posted
January 19th 2007] from Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear‟s Blog accessed
at http://simonsmithandtheamazingdancingbear.blogspot.com/ 3rd February 2007.

Speedy, Jane (2006) Personal communication. Bristol 16th October 2006.

Todorov, Tzvetan (1984) Mikhail Bakhtin: The Dialogical Principle [trans. Wlad Godzich].
Manchester: Manchester University Press.

White, Michael (1995) Re-Authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays. Adelaide: Dulwich
Centre Publications.
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Appendix 1

Collective biography: Guidelines for producing collective biography within a

workshop context: (from Davies, et al, Qualitative Inquiry, June 2004)

A process of conjointly reading for meaning, underpinned by notions of ‘the self’

as verb, perpetually in process, shaped and shaping, rather than the self as noun.
The idea is to make visible the discourses through which we make meanings and
make selves, including the discourses informing the collective biography
workshop itself, not just those informing individuals in their daily/previous lives
1. generate stories on chosen theme…each one threading on to the last
2. tell stories, others listening carefully…probing where necessary for further
images and details to support the imagined story in their own mind’s eye
3. to take off, in new directions with new stories noting linkages and
differences….
4. repeat the process
5. after about an hour of this process, participants go off and write on this
theme by themselves for half an hour or so writing not only
autobiographically, but also with the aim of writing into the space that makes
discursive processes and practices transparent, ie: noticing the histories in
which they have been caught up (eg: as Europeans, moral beings, music
lovers, etc…etc…) and developing an explicit awareness of the ‘constitutive’
process of writing

Questions for listeners to ask of a first draft:

1. Is it plausible/does it ring true?
2. Does it work for me?
3. Was it well remembered/clearly described?
4. Was there sufficient detail for listeners to imagine it?
5. Could listeners make sense/meaning of the story?
6. Were there clichés generalisations, value-laden pieces where sharper clearer
language might have been?
7. Have other details, memories, particularities come to mind during this process
that shed further/new/unexpected light on the story?

By removing the general, the vague, the unclear (as far as the collective
imagination goes) we are not trying to get closer to the ‘real’, but rather,
exposing more of the discursive processes and imperatives that are at play

To quote Davies, et al: (2000:19) this process is not the ‘warm fuzzy pursuit of
empathy’ and ‘The questioning and challenging of each other’s stories can take
on a ruthless quality’

This perhaps seems a little stark but the purpose is not to tell the original
storyteller’s story to their own personal satisfaction, it is to tell it in a way that
can be vividly imagined by others (for which sharply accurate and specific
reflections and questions from others are required)
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‘The writing thus becomes, itself, a self-conscious, reflexive, and

innovative act that seeks to avoid the repetition of well-practiced ways of
knowing and includes, instead, detailed, embodied memories’ (2004:372)

Davies, B. (2000a). A body of writing 1989-1999. Walnut Creek, CA: Alta Mira
Press.
Bronwyn Davies, Jenny Browne, Susanne Gannon, Eileen Honan, Cath Laws,
Babette Mueller-Rockstroh, and Eva Bendix Petersen (2004) The Ambivalent
Practices of Reflexivity, in: Qualitative Inquiry, 10: 360 - 389.
An experience of inscribed collectivity

23

Appendix 2

I‟ve lost control. I‟m not who I thought I was. I was … I was me. I was a child if I
was anything at all, and now I‟m not who I should be – and there‟s even worse. But
I‟ll come to that later – first things first.

It slipped out. My father speaking, “you should‟ve been a girl. One boy, one girl.”
Maybe I looked aghast. A dumb pause. He‟s speaking again, “after your brother,
mum and I wanted one of each.” He looks thoughtful for a moment, “and now she
can‟t.”

Blank silence. I‟m not understanding. I look up to his matter-of-fact face, curiosity
written in my young child‟s frown. “She got so damaged having you, she can‟t have
anymore children - you were too big.”

The shock, the momentary re-writing of a life so far. I am the guilty one, The one
who has taken away everything that my father and my mother want. How can I put
this right? I have to please them. They don‟t want me. I have to please them, “the
doctor said it would be fine – you were a month overdue.” But I wasn‟t listening
now. I was wondering how to make amends.

The car pulls up outside the school gates and I pull open the door. It‟s a boy‟s
school. A boys preparatory school. Can I be prepared anymore? How to please my
parents, to be the girl they want but somehow can‟t have because of me?

My God! If I‟m not going to be a boy, perhaps I can‟t be part of this. The noise of
the slammed door.

The car pulls away, the engine gently moving things on. The exhaust still steaming in
the autumnal dampness. The leaves, perfect symmetrical figures, intense orange and
red, fallen on the tarmac – now marked with the tracks of tyres.

I become aware that the rain is not so gentle as I thought. The heavy drops are
tumbling on my life. I put my satchel over my head, the smell of comforting wet
leather closer to my face. I check in both directions and cross the road.