1/21/2018 Build Not Upon… – Left Conservative

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Build Not Upon…

JANUARY 21, 2018January 21, 2018 Uncategorized

Cloak of Shadow wrote a lovely fic here
(h ps://bambamramfan.tumblr.com/post/169970010147/cloakofshadow-inspired-by-this-there). It’s
obviously the domain of a blog devoted to the power of communities.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand, acting against the wise counsel of her elders. The
rains came down and the flood came up, and the house went tumbling down into the water with her within it,
and she soon drowned.

*****

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand, acting against the wise counsel of her elders. And
while she was away on a long trip, the rains came down and the flood came up, and she returned to find the
house gone, and her fortune with it, and they say she never had another home of her own again.

The famous biblical parable is interpreted in terms of unorthodox social community. There are two
Approved directions for community in modern America: throw everything in to your job, or throw
everything into your heterosexual nuclear family with 2.3 kids. (A third path might be devotion to a
larger extended family which either includes your nuclear unit or adopts you into theirs.)

We exist at a cultural moment where stepping outside these paths is not legally forbidden… but it is
socially discouraged. It’s impolite to tell people not to pursue their chosen path, so this discouragement
comes in the form of skepticism. Particularly afterwards. If a heterodox relationship fails – be it queer,
or a polycule, a bash full of platonic friends, or involving BDSM power dynamics, or one with a large
age gap, a community based on an all consuming hobby – the failure will be blamed on the weirdness
(ignoring how many normal social relations fall apart.) And in the rush to say “I told you so”, often
sympathy will be lost along the way.

In these entry passages, the heroine was warned against taking up with a weird life path, she ignored
them, and it ended badly. In the original scenario it destroyed her life along with it, and in the first
subversion, she is too full of despair – or out of time or trust – to ever try bonding again.

There was once a woman who built a house upon the sand, acting against the wise counsel of her elders; and,
being wealthy, she built it beautifully, beyond the dreams of architecture. And while she was away on a long
trip, the rains came down and the flood came up, and she returned to find the house gone. But the be er part of
her fortune remained to her, and her friends at once urged her to build a grander home upon the rock, and forget
her youthful folly.

Our heroine retains her youthful beauty and can form a community again, and this time is urged to do
so more in line with expectations. (Who knows if she does?)

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Not to mention the class aspect. If young white people do weird things in their twentysomethings, no
harm done, they can go have a normal stable life later.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand, for she had been raised inland, far from the sea,
and her elders had not known to counsel her otherwise. And while she was away on a long trip, the rains came
down and the flood came up, and she returned to find the house gone, and her fortune with it. So she returned
to the houses of her elders, who dwelt inland, and they found a place for her in the home of her cousin, where she
lived for the rest of her days.

Of course far from cosmopolitania people might not even be worldly enough to warn of weird
relationship structures. And if she engages in one, and it goes badly, she might just return home and
take up with the aforementioned extended family model.

There was once a woman who yearned to build her house upon the sand, but whose elders had counseled her
against it. And so she went away and studied, and in time she returned and built a house on stilts upon the
very edge of the beach, well-pillared against the storm. And she dwelt in that house for the rest of her days, and
spent most of her time in maintaining it.

If she works hard enough, and plan for what might go wrong with thoughtful deliberation, she may
even stably survive in her chosen social family. But striking out on your own like that often requires
perpetual effort in a way that prepared paths do not.

There was once a woman who yearned to build her house upon the sand, but whose elders had counseled her
against it. And so she went and she searched the shore until she found some place where the beach was sheltered
and solid and rocky, and there she built a house beyond the dreams of architecture. And they say she was very
happy there, although she had a great deal of difficulty ge ing her mail delivered.

… or it just may be difficult to interface with the normal world again.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand after much study, and did not complain that it
required a great deal of maintenance. But it was built on stilts, and the day came when she could no longer
climb the stairs to her front door, and had to move in with her daughter, who dwelt inland.

… or when she reaches old age, it may be that these new-fangled communities are not as useful anymore
and have not been tested at all life stages. So then she might need to retreat once more to the traditional.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the rock, in accordance with the wise counsel that had been
given her. And she dwelt there unremarkably for the rest of her days, and only occasionally complained that she
had no view of the water.

Maybe she just gives up on her dreams, goes with the herd, and laments it occasionally.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the rock, in accordance with the wise counsel that had been
given her. But desiring a view of the water, she uprooted certain of the trees that stood atop the cliff face that
separated her from the ocean. And in time the cliff washed away under the rains and floods, and the house came
tumbling down with her within it, and she soon drowned.

It’s also possible to wear a “beard” of nominally adopting the traditional lifestyle, but code-switch into
your preferred relationships behind closed doors. And this too may carry danger (in fact, worse risk
than most of the other solutions.)

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There was once a woman who built her house upon the rock, in accordance with the wise counsel that had been
given her. And she dwelt there happily and unremarkably for the rest of her days, until the plague rose in that
country, and laid low all those souls within it.

Of course, following social norms is no protection against disaster, and we might all die due to Out of
Context circumstances away. This is often considered an argument for living a life that might be brief as
you enjoy it.

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand, having been encouraged to do so since her earliest
youth. And the rains never came, and no flood ever touched her beach, and she dwelt there all of her days. And
everyone agreed that this was proof of her great skill and cleverness.

Our social norms are contingent and sometimes arbitrary. One can easily imagine them being the exact
opposite, and being praised for your desired lifestyle, just as much as your chosen community dragging
you down to doom.

(Consider the gifted person told to follow their dreams, gets a PhD in something non-STEM, and… you
know the rest.)

There was once a woman who built her house upon the sand, having been encouraged to do so since her earliest
youth. And while she was away on a long trip, the rains came down and the flood came up, and she returned to
find the house gone, and her fortune with it. And everyone agreed that this was the fault of her unworthiness,
and barred her from their doors.

… and one can imagine these different social norms still belong to a community that is cruel and
judgmental, and when the vagaries of life do lead to ruin, still castigating her for her disfavor from
above, even though there was li le she could do.

There was once a woman who yearned to build her house upon the sand, where she might have a view of the
water. But she went away and studied, and when she returned she instead built a house upon the rock, and to it
she appended a tower that rose higher than the trees, from which she might observe the ocean unimpeded.

Perhaps she tries the same beard scenario, but with only a li le bit of pu ing herself into her preferred
lifestyle, taking more creativity and care in figuring out how.

There was once a woman who had a friend, with whom she loved to walk along the beach and watch the sunset.
And where they lived is not important to this story or any other.

Friendship. Sometimes people are worth the risk.

*****
Note that this is not the only axis to view the interpretation through. Any obsession that is unorthodox,
or other cultures that value mainstream defaults. One could even critically analyze this entire thing in
view of the financial crisis – lost houses, hoocoodanode
(h p://www.calculatedriskblog.com/2008/11/hoocoodanode.html), “if the world blows up, the world
blows up.”

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