Year 1 annotated samples

Year 1: Augustus and His Smile 1A

Child’s work: The Parrot and its Squawk
Narrative

Context
This is a final independent piece of writing following a sequence of work on Augustus and His
Smile by Catherine Rayner. The story is about a tiger who has lost his smile and goes hunting for
it. The children chose their own animals, and the feature they have lost, to write a similar story.

GP = Grammar
C = Composition T = Transcription
and punctuation

The writer has used

There was a parot he was sad. He Words are separated with
the model text to coodoont find his scworc thene he did a spaces.
write a patterned
Some sentences are
narrative. yorn and set of to find it. Ferst he creept punctuated accurately
The sentences with full stops and capital
under a taybl. He fond a nat it was shiny
are linked with letters.
simple adverbs of and lovley But he coodnt find his scworc. (GP)
time which create
cohesion and suit the Then he climed to the tolist trees. He
narrative style.
fawnd monces that cacled and torct Sentences (statements)
Several sentences
are combined But he coodnt find his scworc. He scipt are correctly constructed,
effectively to create some including accurate
a simple, well- to the ej of the clif and peeped and punctuation. (Ferst he
structured narrative. creept under a table.)
peered Sunthing whent in his mouthe his (GP)
The writer has used
simple descriptive scworc cam bac he did a scworx Now
language, with
adjectives, to he was so happy that he jumpt!
Words are joined with and
describe the places
(peeped and peered;
the character visits
cacled and torct) which
on the journey (shiny
follows the pattern of the
and lovley).
model text and builds
Verbs have been the descriptive detail.
chosen to build As a result of following
character (cackled the model, there are
and torct; peeped also clauses joined with
and peered) but, which is beyond Y1
expectations.
(C)
(GP)

Phonic knowledge from FS and Y1 is used to spell simple regular words, e.g. Words are separated with spaces.
sad, find, did, set, trees, that, but. However, there are several spelling errors
Some sentences are punctuated
which show that the full range of phonic knowledge and skills from FS and
accurately with full stops and
Y1 is not yet secure (yorn, taybl, fond/fownd, ej).
capital letters. An exclamation
Many Y1 common exception words are spelt correctly (a, he, was, his). mark emphasises the character’s
feeling at the resolution of the
Most words with simple suffixes are not spelt correctly (cacled, torct). There is
problem.
one correct use of –s (trees).
(GP)
Handwriting is generally legible, and most letters are formed correctly, but
letters are very large and some letters appear to be formed incorrectly (r, i).
(T)

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