31 July 2017 – Hash 2063*

Otherwise known as the:

“Too Hot To Trot, Too Hot To Stop” Run

“Join the Hash” they said…

“Meet new people” they said…

*I may have thrown our hash count out a few weeks back by skipping runs
#2059 and #2060 in Footprints. And since Threeway isn‟t here at the
moment to keep us in line, it‟s a little all over the place. Never mind! On On!
sultry (ˈsʌltri) – adjective: (of the air or weather) hot and humid
This is the word my oxygen-starved and overheated brain was searching for
last night as we dodged alley-cats and taxis on run *ahem* 2063. Despite
the sultry (nailed it) conditions, we managed to get a dozen hardy hashers
out and about. Judging by the amount of pre-run/walk chatting, I suspect
people would‟ve been quite happy to stay within arms‟ reach of the cooler.
HASHMEISTER: Teaboy
HARES: Fainting Sex Goat &
Ras Al Hymen +1
VERDICT: “Nice length!” at
which point everybody stood
and silently pondered whether
this was supposed to be a
naughty comment or an
accurate one (as the run came
in at around 3.5-4.0 km).
Eventually the spell was broken
by Dirty Digger’s “Not enough
sperm arrows!” which, although
accurate, was appropriately
inappropriate.
SCORE: - 1 sperm arrow.
NEWBIES: Nobody is that
crazy.
CELEBRATIONS: Knob
Jockey happily announced
Spinster has found “a real job”
(What!? I thought lifeguard at
Gate Tower pools was a real job??) and can stay here as a resident.
Minder, no doubt inspired by FSG and RAH, declared that he is no longer a
bachelor and is partway through what sounds like a complicated wedding
process. We look forward to seeing Mr & Mrs Minder when it‟s all done and
wish them well for the future.
LEAVERS: Shag N Fly and What She Said are escaping the heat of Abu
Dhabi for the heat of Morocco. Pinky is sadly leaving us for good back to
Sussex, UK via Nepal (which takes shortcutting to a whole new level). We
will miss you and Perky!
I am not sure if the look of
ecstasy on Pinky‟s face is due
to the free t-shirts or Minder‟s
ice?
RETURNERS: Jaws joins us
from a packed itinerary that
spanned Belgrade to Chicago
with many points in-between.
Dirty Digger is back from
France, UK and Georgia (not
the „Murica F*ck Yeah! kind).
HASH SOCIAL:
Rehydration Run – 10
November 2017
Abu Dhabi Hash Ball – 4 May
2018
NEXT WEEK’S RUN: Frankenfurter’s B*tch at Karama and he promises
this run will be in miles, not kilometres. Sounds sultry to me. Oh and there
will be a chilled pool afterwards.
RELIGIOUS ADVICE:
Frankenfurter’s B*tch dragged in Knob Jockey who was supposed to be
last week‟s RA but was bullied out of it by FB, so they both copped a drink.
FB referred to a recent article in the Washington Post about neology which,
according to them (so could be fake news), is giving words new meanings.
They were all very clever but the only one I can remember (thanks for that
Budweiser) is Pokemon, which now means a Jamaican proctologist. I‟m not
sure if Shag N Fly knows what that means, as she was heard to mutter:
“Ooh, I‟ll have one of them”. (Or maybe she knows exactly what it means…)
FB and WSS were brought in for following arrows in the wrong direction.
Quac Twat (with Jaws as stand-in) was fined for apparently lip-synching at
her recent performance and (perhaps more fine-worthy) for not providing
song sheets. She also had the cheek to stare down Teaboy for daring to
have a sing-along with her (should‟ve bought the song sheets).
On the question of Pimple Penis‟s name, On the Leash (in absentia) was
fined for forgetting that the first “P” in “PP” stands for pimple, not purple.
Someone casually remarked that maybe he knew something the rest of us
didn‟t…(mind you, good eyesight is a prerequisite for pilots?)
In any case, it made no difference to Teaboy when PP popped into his
office the other day. Completely forgetting PP‟s civvie name, Teaboy almost
had to resort to introducing PP to his boss as “Mr Penis”.
Fainting Sex Goat was fined for impregnating poor Ras Al Hymen as she
needs a new name as the last one is now broken.
Minder was called in again regarding his recent nuptials and for turning up
late. Only a cynic would think the two were related.
This week‟s Hasher of the Week goes to Karma. Because we all love her.

On On!
T-SHIRTS!!!!!!
These are some of our 50 AED shirts (sizes as shown):
Please place your orders (via Facebook if you want them ready on
run night) through What She Said.