Parents' Effect on Child Behavior

BY ROSE ERI CKSON JUNE 13, 2017

Rose Erickson
Rose Erickson has been a professional writer since 2010. She specializes in fitness,
parenting, beauty, health, nutrition and saving money, and writes for several online
publications including The Krazy Coupon Lady. She is also a novelist and a mother of
three.

Parents greatly affect their children’s behavior. Children are like sponges--they model
everything a parent does and incorporate what they see into their own lives. It is important that
parents set the right examples for their children. Negative examples can be detrimental to a
child’s development and can lead to bad behavior.
 Playlist
Skills Count

Antisocial children learn their behavior from their parents’ examples, according to research
done by the University of Chicago published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. Social
skills can be interpreted as everything from the basic polite “please” and “thank you” to
speaking in front of crowds. Children model their parents and learn from them.

Stressed-Out Legacy

A parent’s reaction to stress affects the way a child reacts to stress, states the website
More4Kids. If a parent reacts negatively, a child will learn to react negatively as well. In
addition, negative reactions to stress, such as yelling and lashing out, can scare a child. Children
can learn to shut themselves down and may even think that they are the cause of the stress. If
stress is handled positively, it helps children see that their parents' love for them never
changes, even when they are stressed out.

Keep Discipline Positive

The way a parent disciplines greatly affects their children's behavior, as explained on
FamilyDoctor.org. When a parent elects to use physical punishment, such as spanking, it does
not teach the child how to change his behavior. Children can also react aggressively to physical
punishment. When parents chooses alternate forms of punishment, such as time-outs, they are
helping modify the child’s bad behavior in a calm manner.

Fighting Frenzy

If arguing among parents is done fairly and with maturity, a child can actually benefit from
seeing how conflicts are resolved. Verbal and physical fights are extremely hard on kids, warns
the Child-Discipline-with-Love website. Children may blame themselves for their parents’
arguments and may be traumatizing for years to come. Children may develop low self-esteems
and may even behave violently toward other children. Dysfunctional families breed
dysfunctional children. Children often repeat this behavior in their future relationships.

Child Abuse Destroys

Child abuse causes a range of antisocial and destructive behaviors, according to the website
HealthyPlace.com. This is because abused children try to cope and to understand why they are
being abused. Parents who abuse their children may cause their children to be aggressive and
violent, experience learning problems and even become involved in drugs or alcohol. Parents
who abuse provide the opposite of what a child needs to grow up healthy. Instead, they destroy
the inside and outside world of a child.

Effects of Parenting Styles on Children's Behavior

Collect This Article

By D.H. Sailor — Pearson Allyn Bacon Prentice Hall

Updated on Jul 20, 2010

Collect This Article

Each of these parenting styles appears to have certain influences on children's behavior.
However, culture also influences the outcome, especially for school success. The majority of
parents fall into one of these categories most of the time. When parents are inconsistent in their
parenting approach, it is very damaging to their children because they do not know what to
expect.
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Authoritarian Parenting
The use of punitive and forceful measures to enforce proper behavior causes anger, resentment,
and deceit and impairs wholesome parent-child relationships (Bettelheim, 1985). In Baumrind's
1967 research, preschoolers with authoritarian parents are withdrawn and unhappy. They appear
anxious and insecure with peers and react hostilely if frustrated. Baumrind's 1971 research shows
girls to be dependent and lacking in motivation and boys much more likely to be angry and
defiant. In addition, children of authoritarian parents are less likely to internalize (accept as their
own standard) society's unacceptable behaviors (Grusec and Goodnow, 1994t and are more
likely to have low self-esteem (Coppersmith, 1967). These children often model their parents'
inflexible thinking (Dekovic, Genis, and Janssens, 1991).
Baumrind's 1971 description of authoritarian parenting emphasizes parents demanding certain
behaviors without explaining why and often not listening or providing adequate emotional
support (Chao, 1994). In addition, some authoritarian child rearing practices have been linked
with an evangelical effort (Smut and Hagen, 1985) stressing domination of the child or breaking
the child's will (Dobson, 1992).
Permissive Parenting
Parents who are nonpunitive, loving, and accepting of the child often have children who lack
independence and are selfish because they are not taught how their actions affect others. These
children tend to be impulsive, aggressive, and low in taking responsibility.
Uninvolved or Permissive-Indifferent Parenting
The combination of permissiveness and indifference or rejection in varying degrees has
detrimental effects on children. In the extreme, it becomes neglect, which is a form of child
abuse (Egeland and Stroufe, 1981). Children with few rules who are ignored or living with
hostility are noncompliant and aggressive. They have low self-esteem and display anger toward
others. Many exhibit antisocial behavior and may end up as criminals (Straus, 1994; Brophy,
1977).
Authoritative Parenting
Parents who are nurturing and set, discuss, and enforce developmentally appropriate limits are
the most successful in helping their children become autonomous, independent, self-controlled,
self-confident, and cooperative (Grusec and Lytton, 1988; Baumrind, 1969; 1971). These
children also are more likely to have high levels of competence and high self-esteem during
middle childhood and adolescence (Coppersmith, 1967; Loeb, Horst, and Horton, 1980). They
also have internalized moral standards (Holmbeck, Paikoff, and Brooks-Gunn, 1995) and their
academic performance in high school is superior to that of children from either authoritarian or
permissive homes (Dornbusch, Ritter, Leiderman, Roberts, and Fraleigh, 1987; Steinberg,
Dornbush, and Brown, 1992).

Parental Influence on the Emotional Development of Children

Posted on May 7, 2014 by Alexandra Murphy

Parental Influence on the Emotional Development of Children

by Bethel Moges and Kristi Weber

When most people think of parenting, they picture changing diapers, messy feeding
times, and chasing a screaming child through a crowded grocery store. But parenting
goes far beyond the requirements for meeting the basic survival needs of the child, and
parents have a significant influence on how children turn out, including their
personality, emotional development, and behavioral habits, as well as a host of other
factors. It is important for the overall development of children that parents be present
enough to support them, and this support fosters confidence and growth in many areas.
Here we will explore the ways parents can impact the emotional development of their
children.

Sometimes, just being physically present is not enough. Parents that may be nearby but
that are not emotionally invested or responsive tend to raise children that are more
distressed and less engaged with their play or activities. A study investigating the
connection between parent’s investment and children’s competence suggests that the
emotional involvement of parents really does matter and affects the outcome of their
child’s emotional competence and regulation (Volling, 458). Parents should keep this in
mind when considering the quality of the time they spend with their children, because if
they do not invest enough of their time and commitment into pouring emotionally into
their child, the child will struggle to learn how to regulate his emotions and interact with
others appropriately.

In studying the outcomes of Ainsworth’s Strange Situation experiments, L. Alan Sroufe

found that the style of early attachment relationships predicts later emotional
development of children. Sroufe asserts that, “Such variations [of relationship quality]
are not reflections of genetically based traits of the infant but of the history of
interaction with the parent” (188). This suggests that attachment styles are not inborn
but are driven by how parents interact with their infant from birth. Longitudinal
attachment studies show that children with anxious attachment were likely to be
emotionally disturbed and have low self-esteem (Sroufe 190). If the form of attachment
has such long-lasting impacts on children, it is clear that parents must treat their
children in ways that foster secure attachment in order for the children to grow into
emotionally stable adolescents and adults.

An important factor in the emotional development of children is how warm caregivers

are, and studies have been done to find the effects of depressed mothers on the
emotional development of children. Depressed mothers have maladaptive thoughts,
attitudes, and behaviors, and these, along with being in a similarly stressful
environment as the mother, put a child at risk of developing his own emotional
problems (Sroufe 204). The fact that depressed mothers are likely to be indifferent
towards their children, put them in less social situations, and generally provide less
stimulation for their children, puts the children at a disadvantage for achieving normal
emotional development.

A key aspect of emotional development in children is learning how to regulate emotions.

Children see how their parents display emotions and interact with other people, and
they imitate what they see their parents do to regulate emotions (Sheffield Morris et. al).
A child’s temperament also plays a role in their emotion regulation, guided by the
parenting style they receive (Belsky et al). For example, children more prone to negative
emotions or episodes of anger are deeply affected by hostile and neglectful parenting,
often leading to even more behavioral problems. Difficult temperaments can become a
bidirectional problem that evokes even more negative emotions from the parent if not
monitored. Parents should be aware that not only do their own emotions and parenting
style affect the emotional outcomes of their children, but if they are not aware of how
their children’s tempers affect them, they could fall into a spiral of ineffective and
indifferent parenting which further contributes to negative behaviors from the children.

Furthermore, how parents address the emotions of their children and respond to them
affects how expressive the children feel they can be. Reacting with criticism or
dismissing the sadness or anger of a child communicates that their emotions are not
valid or appropriate, which can cause children to be even more prone to those negative
emotions and less able to cope with stress (Siegler et. al). Instead, guiding children’s
emotions and helping them find ways to express themselves in a healthy manner helps
them continue regulating their responses to challenges and even aids their academic
and social competence. This sort of emotion coaching greatly helps in reducing future
problem behavior in children.

In addition to being able to express their own emotions, it is important in social

situations for children to be able to identify and deal with the emotions of those around
them. Parents model for their children how to comfort someone who is crying or smile
at someone who is smiling, but other parental behaviors also influence how their
children learn to understand the emotions of others. It has been found that the
interaction between parents affects a child’s emotional and social development, and
marital conflict contributes to problems in these developmental areas (Sheffield Morris
et. al). The biggest contributing factor in marital relations affecting children’s emotional
development is whether the child hears the parents fighting. This is referred to as
“background anger” in the child’s environment and if the child is exposed to it, even
though it is not directed at the child, problems with emotional security and regulation
are likely to result from it (Sheffield Morris et. al). Coming from a family with divorced
parents, I (Kristi) can relate to this issue of background anger being a factor, because
although my parents split when I was at a vulnerable age, they made sure not to fight in
front of my sister and I, and I think that allowed us to have a healthier reaction to the
divorce and to be emotionally well-adjusted in social interactions.

Parenting decisions affect how children turn out physically, socially, and emotionally,
but that is not to say parents should be obsessed with following certain steps to have a
perfectly well-adjusted child. We accept that there is no perfect formula for parents to
model behavior or speak to children in certain ways to make them have a perfect
emotional development experience, and that places a limit on our exploration of this
subject. Parents can help their children develop into emotionally stable people by giving
them a supportive environment, positive feedback, role models of healthy behavior and
interactions, and someone to talk to about their emotional reactions to their
experiences.

Social & Emotional

Development of Children with
Working Parents
BY ASHLEY MI LLER JUNE 13, 2017

Ashley Miller
Ashley Miller is a licensed social worker, psychotherapist, certified Reiki practitioner,
yoga enthusiast and aromatherapist. She has also worked as an employee assistance
program counselor and a substance-abuse professional. Miller holds a Master of
Social Work and has extensive training in mental health diagnosis, as well as child
and adolescent psychotherapy. She also has a bachelor's degree in music.
Since women began entering the workforce in increasing numbers in the late 20th century,
psychologists and child development experts have questioned the effects of working parents on
a child's overall development. Many families must rely on financial support from both parents,
thus necessitating the dual-income family, but healthy social and emotional development
depends on more than just the amount of time spent with children.

Importance of Bonding

Many factors, such as parenting styles, parental availability, the presence or lack of siblings,
socioeconomic status and the child's individual temperament, influence a child's social and
emotional development. One of the most important factors in normal social and emotional
development, however, is the ability of a child to bond with her parents, starting from the
moment she leaves the womb. Parental bonding helps a child feel safe, secure, nurtured and
loved. According to HelpGuide.org, the parent-child bond is one of the strongest predictors of
mental, social, physical and emotional health.

Quality Vs. Quantity

The quality of the time spent with your child may be more important than the quantity. Parents
who provide round-the-clock child care and try to follow all of the conventional rules of
parenting may still be unable to form a secure bond with their children, according to a pivotal
study published in 2000 by the The Committee on Integrating the Science of Early Childhood
Development. Working parents who make family time a priority and are committed to their
child's development are just as capable of establishing a healthy bond with their child as non-
working parents. Creating a secure, healthy attachment with your child requires more than a
certain amount of time spent together -- it requires love, nurturing, commitment, attending to
your child's physical needs and developing a sense of connection to your child.

Potential Negative Effects

Certain factors may negatively impact a child's social and emotional development and affect his
ability to bond with working parents. According to a clinical review published in 2009 in the
"Michigan Family Review," factors such as nonstandard work schedules and financial stress may
have a negative impact on a child's social, emotional and behavioral development, resulting in
issues like behavioral problems and poor academic performance. The quality and quantity of
time spent in child-care settings may also impact development. A longitudinal study published
in the May/June issue of the journal "Child Development" found that teens who spent the most
time in child-care settings as young children were more likely to exhibit impulsiveness and risk-
taking behaviors than peers who had spent less time in child care.

Possible Benefits

Despite the possible negative effects of having working parents, children may also experience
certain benefits if they have working parents who responsibly attend to their needs. According
to HealthyChildren.org, children with working parents may view the world as a less threatening
place. They may feel a sense of pride knowing that their parents have careers -- girls in
particular may feel motivated and sense that they have more career options if they have a
mother who works -- and participation in quality day care or after-school child-care settings has
been linked to positive developmental traits in children in the areas of cognitive, social and
emotional development, according to Cornell University's Cooperative Extension.

Parenting skills
The child-parent relationship has a major influence on most aspects of child development. When
optimal, parenting skills and behaviours have a positive impact on children’s self-esteem, school
achievement, cognitive development and behaviour.
Parenting Programs and Their Impact on the Social and Emotional Development of Young
Children
Daniel S. Shaw, PhD
University of Pittsburgh, USA
December 2014, 2nd ed.
Introduction

Modifying parenting attitudes and behaviours has been a central focus of many programs designed
to improve the social and emotional development of young children. The impetus for focusing on
parenting is based on common sense and a large body of research demonstrating associations
between parenting in early childhood and a number of later socio-emotional outcomes.1,2 Even
before formal research studies were initiated on the effects of early socialization practices in
relation to children’s later psychosocial outcomes, many community-based programs focused on
parenting because of young children’s physical and psychological dependence on caregivers. This
emphasis on parenting has been bolstered since the 1940s, when research on the effects of early
parenting was formally initiated.3,4 Since then a plethora of studies, including those utilizing
genetically informed designs, have found associations between caregiving behaviours in early
childhood and later child outcomes.5 A number of parenting dimensions have been associated with
various types of child adjustment. On the positive side, early caregiving characterized as sensitive,
responsive, involved, proactive and providing structure has been associated with positive socio-
emotional adjustment. Conversely, parenting in early childhood (from birth to five years)
characterized as neglectful, harsh, distant, punitive, intrusive and reactive has been associated with
various types of maladjustment. In general, parenting programs for young children have varied
based on the theoretical orientation of the intervention model (e.g. social learning,6 attachment7),
the developmental status of the child (e.g. prenatal, infancy, preschool-age), and the breadth of child
behaviours targeted for intervention (e.g. externalizing problems, social and cognitive outcomes).
Some programs are held with groups of parents,6 others work with individual parents and are
typically home-based,8 while others incorporate parenting as part of a school- or daycare-based
program.9,10

Subject

In the last 20 years, parenting programs initiated in early childhood have been increasingly
targeted at families whose children are at increased risk for poor social and emotional outcomes.
During the prenatal and infant periods, families have been identified on the basis of socioeconomic
risk (parental education, income, age8,11) and/or other family (e.g. maternal depression) or child
(e.g. prematurity and low birth weight12) risks; whereas with preschoolers a greater emphasis has
been placed on the presence of child disruptive behaviour, delays in language/cognitive
impairment and/or more pervasive developmental delays.6 With an increased emphasis on families
from lower socioeconomic strata, who typically face multiple types of adversity (e.g. low parental
educational attainment and work skills, poor housing, low social support, dangerous
neighbourhoods), many parenting programs have incorporated components that provide support
for parents’ self-care (e.g. depression, birth-control planning), marital functioning and/or economic
self-sufficiency (e.g. improving educational, occupational and housing resources).8,13,14 This trend to
broaden the scope of “parenting” programs mirrors recent findings on early predictors of low-
income children’s social and emotional skills. For children living in poverty, although parenting has
been shown to be a consistent predictor of later child functioning, other factors in the child’s social
environment have been found to contribute independent variance to children’s adjustment, effects
that are not accounted for by parenting.15 Such factors include parental age, well-being, history of
antisocial behaviour, social support within and outside the family, and beginning around age three
to four in Canada’s most impoverished communities, neighbourhood quality.16

Challenges, Research Context and Key Research Questions

Although scores of parenting programs for young children have been and are currently being used
in communities throughout North America, in only a relatively few cases has their long-term
efficacy been tested using comparison groups, much less with a randomized control trial (RCT).17,18
Thus, drawing firm conclusions about their effectiveness in improving young children’s social and
emotional outcomes is limited to a few investigators who have used more rigorous methods. Even
in cases where appropriate comparison groups have been utilized, there are a couple of important
caveats worthy of mention. First, in studies in which parents are the sole informant on child
outcomes following intervention, there is a potential for reporting bias, as parents might be more
invested in the intervention condition and motivated to report improvements in child functioning
than parents in control groups. Second, early studies that were limited to parenting per se and that
did not address other issues in the child and his/her ecology (e.g. child verbal skills, family’s
socioeconomic context and parental well-being) found rather modest effect sizes that tended to
dissipate over time and across context (e.g. average effect sizes below .20, little long-term
generalization to child behaviour at school19). Third, and related to parenting programs expanding
to incorporate ecological factors (e.g. parental well-being, economic self-sufficiency), it is becoming
increasingly difficult to unpack the effects of specific components of multifaceted interventions.
While ideally it should remain a goal to identify and attribute changes in child behaviour to specific
changes in parenting, this aim might become less realistic to achieve as more parenting programs
apply a multisystemic perspective to targeting the multifaceted needs of families from high-risk
environments.

Recent Research Results

Rather than provide a systematic and exhaustive review of the literature, the goal is to identify
promising work and themes across studies that might lead to similar positive outcomes in future
work. As noted earlier, because of the relative dearth of studies that have randomly assigned
families to a family-based intervention, it is not a difficult task to pare down the number of
methodologically elite projects. In terms of how the design of a study might compromise the
 credibility of its findings, it is important to note that effect sizes of parent support programs tend to
be consistently higher for those studies using less rigorous designs (e.g. pre-post studies without
control groups) and consistently lower for randomized studies.19 Despite these caveats, there are
emerging themes that characterize many successful programs.

o Specificity does matter. Parenting programs that address specific types of child behaviour (e.g.
developmental disabilities, child conduct problems) or target specific developmental transitions
(e.g. becoming a parent, the “terrible twos”) seem to be more successful than those that treat a
wide range of problem behaviours or a wide age range of young children.6,8,14
o Covering multiple domains. Successful programs tend to emphasize parenting and factors that
might compromise its functioning, including consistent caregiving in other contexts (e.g.
preschool, daycare), and maternal well-being, the family’s economic independence and marital
quality.6,8,14
o Careful training of interventionists. The most successful programs tend to devote enormous
efforts to initial training of staff and maintenance of intervention fidelity over time.6,8 There is
also some support for the use of professional staff over para-professionals,19 but some of this
research is confounded by the quality of staff training in these studies (i.e. the studies that tend
to use professionals also tend to have more intensive training and follow-up).
o Interventionist’s ability to engage parents. Successful programs have developed ways to
maximize parents’ investment by emphasizing the importance of young children’s development
and linking it to parenting skills and parents making healthful decisions about their own well-
being.6,8,14 In addition to covering multiple domains of family life, successful programs generally
include repeated and intensive contact with parents ranging from several months to one or two
years.
Two prime examples of successful programs with young children include the programmatic work of
Olds and colleagues8,20,21 and Webster-Stratton.6,22 Despite differences in their theoretical emphasis,
timing of the intervention (prenatal period and infancy versus preschool to early school age) and
their structure (home-based, one-on-one contact versus meeting in a group format at a clinic), the
two programs share the four commonalities described above. Olds’ model engages mothers during
pregnancy and immediately following the delivery of their infant to promote maternal health and
quality of the infant-parent relationship. It has now been validated in RCTs with three large cohorts
of children at heightened risk for maladaptive outcomes.8,20,21 While including a component to
improve the quality of the mother-infant relationship (79% lower rate of child maltreatment in
intervention vs. control group), the intervention also stresses changes in maternal health-related
behaviours during pregnancy (i.e. smoking, drinking alcohol) and in health and lifestyle choices
during the child’s early years (e.g. 43% lower rates of subsequent pregnancy, 84% higher
participation in work force). Group differences have been found in several domains at age 15, with
youth in the intervention group demonstrating significantly fewer arrests and convictions than
adolescent offspring in the control group. Results from an initial study conducted in rural New York
have been followed up in Memphis and Denver, communities that are more urban and more
ethnically diverse families than the original cohort. Early follow-up results from the Memphis
sample suggest similar but more muted effects on children’s problem behaviour (i.e. maternal but
not teacher reports show intervention effects) and maternal functioning (e.g. fewer subsequent
pregnancies and a lower rate of pregnancy-induced hypertension) up to age six. Importantly, the
intervention targets multiple issues at a time of developmental transition, including the mother’s
health behaviours, the quality of the environment parents are generating for the child (e.g. maternal
work skills, number of subsequent children born in the next couple of years), and parenting skills.
The programmatic work of Webster-Stratton and colleagues is also notable. Whereas Olds’ work
has focused on the challenges of becoming a parent (i.e. program limited to first-time parents),
Webster-Stratton has targeted the late preschool period and the transition to formal schooling,
when children’s emotion regulation skills are becoming more stable and tested in the context of
full-day school settings.6,22 A central focus of Webster-Stratton’s program is parent management
training to promote child social competence and prevent the development of conduct problems. In
service of this goal, parents learn to observe their child’s behaviour in an objective, unemotional
manner and to implement appropriate consequences in response to disruptive behaviour. Webster-
Stratton conducts parent-training sessions in groups using carefully refined videotapes, where
parents can observe ways to manage children’s behaviour and simultaneously learn from group
leaders and other parents’ experiences. Although begun primarily as a parenting intervention, the
scope of the program has expanded to include a teacher-based classroom management component
and a child-based component to improve regulation strategies and school readiness. In repeated
RCTs with samples ranging from clinically referred middle-class preschoolers to low-income Head
Start preschoolers at risk for psychosocial adjustment, significant improvements have repeatedly
been found one to two years following the intervention in promoting children’s prosocial
adjustment and reducing children’s problem behaviours.

Conclusions and Implications

Recent innovations in the scope of parenting programs are promising. Initial parenting programs
have evolved to incorporate findings from developmental psychopathology that highlight the
influence of child and parent attributes, as well as family and community factors that might
compromise parenting and child psychosocial development. Greater methodological care is also
becoming more normative in evaluating the efficacy of individual parenting programs, including the
increasing use of RCTs. Substantively, the data suggest that parenting programs that also
encompass the child’s and family’s social ecology, including contexts outside the home where the
child spends significant time, are more likely to be associated with lasting improvements in child
outcomes. The work of Olds and Webster-Stratton exemplifies the progress that has been made in
the field. These model programs also suggest the need to re-evaluate the appropriateness of using
the term “parenting programs” to describe the scope of successful family-based interventions for
young children. Clearly, the most promising strategies incorporate parenting as a central
foundation, but model programs also incorporate additional components to address critical aspects
of the child’s and parents’ social context. These additions to traditional parenting programs appear
to be key ingredients for maximizing children’s potential for positive social and emotional
development within and outside the home.
Religion, beliefs and parenting practices
Jan Howarth, Janet Lees, Peter Sidebotham, John Higgins, Atif Imtiaz
28th Nov 2008
Related topics

 Faith and religion

 People
 Children

The influence of religious beliefs on parenting, from the perspectives of both

adolescents and parents.
Religion, beliefs and parenting practices

Little is known about the influences of religious beliefs and practices on parenting
adolescents. Yet religious beliefs and practices have the potential to profoundly
influence many aspects of life, including approaches to parenting. This is
particularly relevant with increasing diversity of religious affiliations in
contemporary British society.
The research:

 explores differences and similarities in parenting beliefs and practices between members
of the same and different faith communities;
 records the views of parents and young people as to the influence of religious beliefs
and practices on family life, parent-child interaction and 'good enough parenting'; and
 identifies ways in which faith communities, religious authorities and voluntary and
statutory agencies could better support families.

Summary
Summary
Religion has the potential to influence many aspects of parenting. For this project,
researchers asked young people and parents in Bradford, predominantly from Christian
and Muslim backgrounds, how their religious beliefs and practices affected family life
The research
By a multidisciplinary team from the Universities of Sheffield and Warwick in partnership
with Bradford Local Safeguarding Children Board.
Key points:

 The majority of young people and parents in the study felt religion was more than a set
of behaviours and would affect family life.
 Most parents, and some young people, emphasised a religious way of life is transmitted
between generations and grandparents maintain a significant influence. Parents saw
passing on their faith as an important part of parenting.
  Parents saw how encouraging a religious identity at home conflicted with other
pressures on their children, including negative portrayals of religion in the media.
 Most young people thought they should not be forced to attend public worship. Some
parents acknowledged children might be spiritual without attending formal worship.
Parents and young people accepted religion could be important to those who believed
without belonging to a faith community.
 Parents generally equated 'good' parenting with being warm and loving, while setting
boundaries and standards for their children. This conforms to a model of 'authoritative'
parenting thought to promote healthy development and wellbeing. A few young people
described religious parenting that was more controlling and 'authoritarian'.
 Parents saw two-way communication with children as crucial. There were some subjects
young people, and a few parents, found difficult to discuss, including sexual
relationships.
 Although some young people and parents claimed religious authority for strict views on
issues such as sex outside marriage and homosexuality, parents were more tolerant
than young people anticipated.
 Parents acknowledged that young people should choose for themselves whether to
adopt religious values in adult life, but views differed about the age at which they could
make informed choices.
 Parents with disabled children had mixed views on the support received from their faith
communities. Some said they had not received adequate help or been welcome with
their child at places of worship.

Background
Britain is a multi-faith society whose population has become more culturally and
religiously diverse in recent years. Some existing research studies have associated
religious observance among parents with their children’s positive social development.
However, terrorist attacks, the rise of 'Islamaphobia' and some high-profile child abuse
cases within faith communities have resulted in negative publicity concerning the
influences of religion on families.
This study considered the role of religious faith and religious practices on the parenting
of adolescents, which has been a neglected area of research. It was based on focus
group discussions in schools with young people aged 13 to 15 from mainly Muslim and
Christian (Catholic and Protestant) backgrounds in the City of Bradford, and on
separate focus groups with (unrelated) parents from mainly Muslim, Hindu or Christian
backgrounds. Two-thirds of the young people who took part were attending faith-based
secondary schools. The research provides qualitative insights into the views of young
people and parents from faith backgrounds, but it is not possible to generalise from the
sample about the views of those from particular faith traditions.
Religious traditions, beliefs and practices
"I see it as a way of life, which I have learnt from my parents." (Hindu mother)
"Sometimes you follow in your mum and dad's footsteps because you're part of them." (Catholic
school student)

'Religion' and 'being religious' were interpreted in different ways by the study
participants, from simply holding a belief to belonging to a faith community and
engaging in religious activities. For most, however, it meant putting religious beliefs into
practice through the way they conducted their lives. It was recognised that parents have
a significant part to play in shaping the faith identity of children and engaging them in
religious activities. Most parents saw religion as a way of life that was transmitted
between generations. They considered it part of their parenting responsibility to pass on
their faith.
Although young people understood that formal worship could be an important shared
activity in religious families and a duty for some of their parents, most thought they
should not be forced to attend. Parents recognised that it could be disappointing when
young people found religious activities unappealing, but acknowledged that as children
grew up they had to make their own choices about their beliefs. However, there were
differing views about the age at which young people could make informed choices,
including whether to engage in religious activities.
Parenting adolescents in religious families
"I suppose when parents are strict they won't let you do certain things…but when you make a
mistake, or you've done something wrong, they'll always be behind you to give you the love that
you need…" (Protestant student at an independent Christian school)

Parents and young people in the study were in conspicuous agreement about 'good'
parenting, describing it in terms of being warm and affectionate, but also setting
boundaries and standards for children. This conformed closely to the model of
'authoritative' parenting that research in Europe and America suggests is likely to
promote children's healthy development and wellbeing. Many expressed a strong
conviction that a family was a team led by parents, although there were mixed views
regarding family 'headship' and the appropriate roles of fathers and mothers. A few
young people in the study described a style of parenting that was more controlling and
'authoritarian'. However, many parents said they generally found it difficult to determine
the appropriate amount of structure and autonomy to give young people in their teenage
years.
Parents saw open, two-way communication and respect for young people's values and
beliefs as crucial to effective parenting. However, they acknowledged that
communication could be difficult when discussing some topics, including sexual
relationships and disability. The reasons most often given by young people for a lack of
discussion about sex were embarrassment and discomfort. Some parents also
accepted that sex was an awkward topic, although they generally felt that young people
were more awkward talking about it than they were.
A significant number of the young people and parents agreed that parents could
influence the choices children made as teenagers, including career selection.
Participants in the parents' focus groups frequently spoke of the influence their own
parents continue to exert on them in adult life. They continually referred to ways in
which their parents' religious beliefs had influenced their own approach to parenting and
life choices.
Parenting disabled children
"You have trials in your life, so having a child with autism is just something I've been given."
(Christian mother from a mixed faith group)
The research also invited parents and young people to discuss perceptions of religion,
family life and disability. Parents of disabled children who took part in the study tended
to hold positive views of their parenting role and believed that their religious faith had
contributed to this. A number of young people suggested that caring for a disabled child
might make a religious family stronger. However, some also saw how the experience of
growing up with a disabled sister or brother might turn some young people away from
religion. Parents with experience of raising disabled children felt in principle that faith
communities should be a positive asset for families. However, they expressed mixed
views about whether sufficient support was provided in practice. Not all parents felt able
to take their disabled child to their place of worship and others had felt their faith
communities were too judgmental and intolerant of the way their children behaved.
Religion and life for adolescents
"You want to make sure you give them the right direction." (Muslim father)

Parents in the research saw the transmission of religious values as a way of providing
direction for their children and creating a strong base on which they could build the rest
of their lives. Most young people said they appreciated and respected their parents'
values, even though they might eventually choose to hold different beliefs. They
expected to make their own career choices, but recognised that parents had a
contribution to make in influencing or advising them. Some also said there were career
choices of which their parents would disapprove, especially if they were thought to
involve religious taboos such as gambling, alcohol or indecent behaviour. In general,
the idea of pursuing a religious vocation did not appear to attract the young participants,
although some thought it would please their parents.
Parents and young people alike recognised pressures from peers, the media and
mainstream adolescent culture for young people to make choices that did not
necessarily fit with their family's religious beliefs and practices. This was evident in the
discussions about sex before marriage and sexual orientation. Although some young
people and parents from different faith groups claimed religious authority for strict views
on issues such as sex outside marriage and homosexuality, parents often seemed more
measured and tolerant about these issues than young people anticipated. More
generally, young people and parents considered it was crucial that parents, from early
childhood, begin to provide young people with the skills to resist external pressures on
their religious way of life and choices.
Implications for policy and practice
The study underlined how important faith can be to families holding a range of religious
beliefs. Religion was a way of life for the parents and young people who took part,
influencing family relationships, decision making, life choices and styles of parenting.
The research findings suggested that policy makers could not afford to be complacent
about the influence of religion on family life. Nor could they presume that religion only
has negative influences as some recent statements by politicians and media
commentators have implied.
Parenting and family support practitioners would also be unwise to assume that religion
is unimportant to a parent, child or young person just because they are not active within
a faith community; or that it does not exert a significant influence on their values and
overall approach to family life. The research showed that religion could be as important
to those who just 'believed' as it was to those who both 'believed and belong'.
National instruments currently used by social workers, health workers, teachers and
other professionals when assessing families and parenting, such as the Common
Assessment Framework and the Framework for Assessing Children in Need and their
Families take little account of the ways that religion can influence different dimensions
of parenting capacity. Yet the research findings indicate that those influences are very
relevant, and would need to be clearly understood before the needs of children and
parents in religious families could be properly recognised and met. This suggests that
more attention should be given in national and local guidance to the influence of
religious beliefs and practices on parenting. When parents state they have a religious
belief, professionals should at the very least be asking 'What does your faith mean to
you?', 'How does it influence your life?', and in the case of family members 'How do
your beliefs influence your family life?'
Implications for faith communities
The findings hold implications for faith leaders, particularly with regard to competing
influences on young people from within and outside their families. It appears especially
important that they recognise the struggles of parents and young people trying to match
their religious beliefs and values with those of wider society.
Most young people and quite a few parents in the study recognised that life in the faith
community, particularly formal, public worship, often had little appeal to young people.
Faith communities might, therefore, need to be more inclusive and find better ways to
harness young people's energy and enthusiasm in order to avoid losing their appeal to
the next generation. Parents also wanted more support from their faith communities with
the task of parenting adolescents. This would need to be provided with the full
participation of young people who, in this study, demonstrated a balanced
understanding of their parents' feelings and concerns. Although a relatively small
number of parents in the research had disabled children, they emerged as a group that
needed particular support from their faith communities of a kind that was not always
forthcoming.
About the project
The project was carried out in Bradford among 13- to 17-year-olds from six faith and
three LEA schools and parents from ten community and faith groups. 40 young people
initially identified potential ways in which religion affected parenting. These were
collated into a DVD of 'talking heads'. A further 74 young people mainly Muslims and
Christians aged 13-15 years commented on the scenarios in school based focus group
discussions. In the final stage 77 parents commented on the scenarios in faith focus
groups. These parents were primarily Muslims or Christians, with a minority of Hindus,
and a few who did not claim affiliation to a particular faith group. Nearly all parents and
the vast majority of young people in the study expressed a belief in God.
Parents should not force their children into
religion
Interior of St. Peter's Basilica
By Erin Hill
Published April 16, 2017

Views expressed in opinion columns are the author's own.

On March 27, an organization called American Atheists filed a lawsuit
against a court-approved mentor and a pastor who forcibly baptized a child
with disabilities. The child was given a full-immersion water baptism at a
church picnic against his parents' wishes. The child still experiences extreme
anxiety and emotional trauma, which makes this a disturbing ethical misstep
in the name of religion.
While this case describes an extreme case of religious practice without
consent, smaller instances are commonplace among religious families. It's
time we address the consequences of instilling religious belief into children
from a young age.
Should parents raise their kids to practice their religion from birth? It's a
complicated issue, but it starts at a very basic level: consent. A child does
not have to be raised in a secular home, but that child should always be
offered the alternative of secularity. Parents who force their reluctant kids
to go to a place of worship every weekend or engage in other religious
practices raise the possibility of their children resenting them and their faith.
This is not a cut-and-dry decision for parents. If a parent believes it would
benefit their child to go to a place of worship and see what it's like without
the pressure of accepting any teachings as indisputable truth, then this
could benefit the child. But if a child is too young to derive meaning from a
religious service, then why force that child into attending? Religion should
be associated with love and personal dedication, not obligation.
Another complication of religious consent is that religion is often
intertwined with culture. Parents may feel they are depriving their children
of education, rich family experiences or, in some cases, "salvation" by not
requiring them to participate in certain celebrations and religious
obligations, such as Christmas or praying five times a day. Parents can
include their children in these practices, but children should be given the
choice to not participate.
Some religions already recognize the importance of choice. Unitarian
Universalism, for example, is a faith with no conversion rituals and no
exclusions by the church if a member converts to a different faith. Religious
education is not centered on scripture but discussion of ethics and
community, as well as lessons on other religions. This allows children to
become more conscientious by examining every option. This could be a
model for parents to follow.
If parents want to raise children who meaningfully practice their religion,
the children must accept the faith themselves. Faith is not something that
should be forced on anyone. In essence, we need to shift away from saying,
"You believe this" toward "we believe this; what do you believe?"
Faith and blind fellowship are not the same thing.
Parents pass on religious beliefs
more by word than by deed
WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. – The saying goes that "actions speak louder than words," but in the
case of parents wanting their children to share their religious beliefs, words may be just as
important as actions.
That was the finding of a recent Purdue University study that looked at parents' influence on
religious beliefs in young adults ages 18 to 25. The study was published in the Journal of
Applied Developmental Psychology.
"We asked students to tell us what they believed and what they thought their parents believed,"
says Lynn Okagaki, an associate professor of child development and family studies. "We then
asked the parents what their beliefs were and how strongly they felt they had tried to nurture
their child in terms of religious beliefs and values. What we found was that the perception does
not always match the reality."
Okagaki's study showed that the accuracy of a student's perception was affected by how much
his or her parents talked about their beliefs and whether the mother and father shared the same
beliefs.
"Many of the students we talked to told us that their parents shaped their environments by
making church activities a regular part of their lives, and took on service projects as a family –
they took the kids with them when they went to work in a soup kitchen, for example," Okagaki
says. "But while 'walking the walk' was certainly important, it was regular, specific
conversations about religious beliefs that gave students a more accurate perception of what their
parents actually believe. It's not enough for parents to just model beliefs for their kids."
Okagaki had 58 females and 36 males complete a series of questionnaires on their religious
beliefs and their perceptions of their parents' beliefs, their parents' child-rearing goals and
behaviors, and their relationships with their parents. All were college students, and 83 percent
came from intact families. The parents of the subjects answered questions about their own
religious beliefs and their child-rearing goals and practices.
Okagaki says both parents sharing the same beliefs has an impact on how accurately they are
able to convey those beliefs to their child.
"It makes a difference in terms of what the child is going to perceive as important," Okagaki
explains. "If Mom and Dad don't believe the same things, the child not only gets a content
message on what those differing beliefs are, but also gets the message that people can have
different ideas about a particular belief, and that makes the child feel there is more freedom to
choose."
She adds that a warm, open parent-child relationship improves the chances that children will
want to embrace their parents' beliefs as young adults.
Okagaki notes that the subjects of her study were predominantly from Christian backgrounds, but
she says there is no reason to believe the results would have been varied in other faith traditions.
"It's a process of passing along a belief, whatever that belief happens to be," Okagaki says.
Okagaki says her research findings have led to more questions: "We now know that what we say
about our faith is important, but how do we apply that to our child-rearing? There's a good deal
of research telling us how to educate our children, but parents get no formal training for raising
children with character and integrity."
To learn more about the process, Okagaki is now studying middle-school children who are in the
midst of developing their values.
"I want to see what kind of messages they are receiving from their parents right now, and then follow
their character development as they become adults," she says.