Draft Workshop: Short Essay #1

Reviewer: Pier-Luc Long

Author: Vanessa Clemente

Write down what the author of the summary

identified and summarized in his or her own words as
the thesis of the essay.
“The author of this essay, Jon Pahl, believes that malls have
become America’s newest place of worship, a belief shared
by fellow author and religious studies professor, Ira G. Zepp.
Pahl quotes Zepp, who believes malls function much the way
a typical place of worship would, as some sort of community,
instead of a place of commerce and business. Zepp also
explains how Americans don’t just go to malls to shop, but
they go to be a part of a larger group of people, coming
together because they all share an interest in the same
things.”

Map out the summary’s main points. (You might write

a list of topic sentences)

1. Malls are designed to attract us to all things “good” by

tying it with religious symbols.

2. “Religious” slogans

3. Mall targets women (self-esteem, self-image)

4. Men and malls

5. Mall as egalitarian center

Did the writer provide a specific and objective

summary of the essay?
Yes, the summary was very objective.
What evidence can you find that proves the author
was objective?
Vanessa used the 3rd person throughout her essay. At some
points, she used the 2nd person which made me feel like I
could relate to the essay.

Did the author paraphrase at least two passages?

Yes, at least two passages were paraphrased.

Did the author provide at least two quotations?

Yes, a total of 3 quotations were provided.

Identify at least two examples that the author used to

support his/her summary.
In the 2nd paragraph, Vanessa provided some examples of
why the concepts of water, light, and trees could be seen as
religious symbols and why they would be used in a mall.

Identify any minor details that the author included

that you believe distracted from the summary’s main
argument. Explain. (The writer will lose points if he or
she includes minor details; conduct a complete
analysis or review.)
I didn’t feel that Vanessa brought any minor or weak details
to her summary. I read the essay that she summarized and
everything she included had a purpose for this summary.

Did they author write a one-paragraph response to

the essay’s main idea in his or her conclusion? Was it
relevant or meaningful to the summary’s main
audience? (You are the intended audience.)
The conclusion paragraph was more of a summary of the
ending of the summarized essay rather than a response to it,
although it was relevant to the summary.

Did the author include proper citations and a works

cited page? (Since you are publishing online, just
include a heading for Works Cited and any sources
used in your summary. In this case, it will probably
consist of one item, the summary essay.)
Yes, she does include proper citations and has a work cited
section. The only thing needed is a header for it.