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FRIENDSHIP IN PROVERBS

WHAT IS A TRUE FRIENDSHIP?

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What is true friendship? Commented [G1]: Deleted:a

In the current society, we are all competing for survival and trying to use the other person

in one way or the other. The concept of survival for the fittest had dawned upon humankind and

ruled our thoughts to the point that the value of friendship have been devalued to means of

getting some benefits out of another. The destruction of the biblical friends starts from the top

where countries across the world form friends with those that they can mine something out off.1

As a result, the one that has nothing to offer has either being neglected or turned into slaves to

another nation. Within the government, people form a friendship based on political gains or how

many votes one can contribute to the table.2 At the workplace, employees have developed a

tendency of creating an association that will enable them to get promotion, good

recommendations or favors from a top office. Down at the neighborhoods, people select friends

they can gain one or two things from during their stay at the place. All the case, when the “gain”

is no longer available or becomes absent for some reason, the results are always breakups. The

book of Proverbs captures the issues of friendship and questions if it is possible to find a real

friend; one who is not after benefits but instead develops a relationship out of love. In the current

society, it is hard to attain real friendship in the world, one that will love unconditionally and at

all time.

1
Roshchin, Evgeny. Friendship among nations: History of a concept. (Oxford University
Press, 2017), 8.
2
Odinye, Sunny Ifeanyi. "CHINA-AFRICA RELATIONSHIP AND FRIENDSHIP."
Interdisciplinary Journal of African and Asian Studies 1, no. 2 (2017), 16.
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“Many a man proclaims his steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?”3 According

to the verse, it is hard for one to single out a friend who will love and treasure them every day of

their lives no matter the situation. In the world, we are surrounded by all types of people starting

from our immediate family members, relatives, people we know and even those who hate us. All

these people bring a balance to our lives as they make us human, love, and hate, cry and

appreciate living in this world. “A faithful man can find?” The verse questions the possibility of

one meeting a true friend that does not waver to anything and remains true through all situations.

Some people argue that a brother or a sister can match as a true friend. Before the verse, there is

a line that states that “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”4 However,

indeed a brother can be friends, but she or he is stuck with one and is obligated to be friendly to

one. In this case, a brother does not fit in the category of a true friend since they do not have a

choice but to be friends with the other brother. The same case applies to the rest of the family as

the biological and heredity have led to them being stuck with one no matter what.

A true friend has to be one that has the power of choice and chooses one. It takes one

pure love to select and stick to one as a friend. When such happens, neither good nor bad

situations can ever separate one. Furthermore, they are not obliged to choosing the other person.

Instead, they want to be with the person, and it is their choice. There are few people in the world

with such kind of approach to life and who believe in true friendship. The ones found all over

include the group that makes promises, building up expectations, make us laugh, but at long last,

they neither fulfill their obligations and at worst case, they end up stubbing one at the back. The

3
Proverbs 20:6 (ESV)
4
Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
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reason behind the change in the type of friends today has been the absence of God in the lives of Commented [G2]: Inserted: ,

many people. The world has opened up the doors from evilness such as greed, envy and jealous

into friendships. As a result, friends kill friends, steel from finds, sell out friends and lure friends

into activities that drive them far from God. Albeit, the verse still outline the possibility of

actually finding one. It stresses the need for one to be very grateful when they meet one since it

can only be through God’s gospel that one can be a real friend. Furthermore, proverbs state that

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a Commented [G3]: Deleted:s

brother”5 In this case, a true friend is a gift from God. The book of Psalms states “keep their

promises even when it hurts”6 and later the Bible proceeds to state in the book of Titus that

“show themselves to be entirely trustworthy.”7 Both verses elaborate on the fact that a real

friend, one that loves at all-time can only come from God. As a result, when one finds such as a

friend, they should cherish them and do all they can to have them around.

A true friend can be defined as per Jesus actions when He was on earth. According to Commented [G10]: Deleted:been

John, “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.”8 He describes

the love that Jesus had for us as one that was constant throughout. He is a friend to everyone

whether they are sinners or believers as He cherishes everyone. Luke tales the story of Peter and

Jesus stating that despite Peter’s betrayal, He still forgave him and remain true to Him. Initially,

Peter had assured Jesus that “[He] will never deny you [Jesus]”9. However, according to

5
Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
6
Psalm 15:4 (NLT)
7
Titus 2:10 (NLT)
8
John 13:1 (ESV)
9
Matthew 26:35 (ESV)
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Mathew, all the Disciples denied any association with Jesus while He was being persecuted. Commented [G4]: Inserted: ,

However, the Bible narrates further that despite Peter’s betrayal, Jesus still looked at him with

love in His eyes and never ended their friendship. The same was the case for the other disciples

as Jesus later fulfills all the promises he had made to them when He was on earth. It is rear in the Commented [G5]: Inserted: l

current world to find someone with friendship qualities as Jesus. Hardly is there a moment where

a friend can betray another, and they continue loving and cherishing each other as they were

before. Most people have a weakness and fail to seek God's intervention when they are

disappointed or hurt by their friends. As a result, the end up never forgiving them and

immediately ending the friendship. Jesus is a true friend in this case as he never considers out Commented [G6]: Inserted: ,

human weakness as a source of the rift between him and us and he is “touched with the feeling of Commented [G7]: Inserted: us
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our infirmities”10
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John Newton, in his hymn, narrates what a true friend entails. He states, Commented [G12]: Deleted:him

Could we bear from one another what He daily bears from us?This glorious Friend and Commented [G13]: Inserted: ,
Brother love us, though we treat Him thus. Commented [G14]: Inserted: T
Though for good we render ill, he accounts us brethren still.11 Commented [G15]: Deleted:Yet t

From the song, John accounts that in true friendship, there I total acceptances and forgives. They Commented [G16]: Deleted:s

know and understand their friends and hence does not walk away when things get rough.

Furthermore, Proverbs states that “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”12

Therefore, a true friend is one that believes in the other friend even when in case of blunt

honesty. The true friendship can be compared to the act of sharpening a sword as God

10
Hebrews 4:15 (ESV)
11
Newton, John. "One There Is, Above All Others, Well Deserves the Name of Friend."
Hymnary.org. Accessed May 14, 2018.
12
Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
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encourages having true friends as by them, with them, we are always reminded to be on the Commented [G17]: Inserted: y

righteous path and were are unlikely to be blunt after some time like the blade of a sword. In this Commented [G18]: Inserted: s
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case, a true friend plays the role of guiding one to become better and closer to Christ. True
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friendship offers the forum where one friend can freely express their concerns even if it sounds Commented [G26]: Deleted:nt

terrible to the other partner13. There is usually no fear of the friendship ending as a result of one Commented [G20]: Inserted: le
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challenging the other to be modest in life. Hardly do such friends originate from our family as in
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most case, our family members are never honest and prefer doing things to impress the other Commented [G23]: Inserted: s
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member. Therefore, an honest and modest friend can only come from outside the family circle.
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In summary, a true friend is hard to find, and it is only through God that we can be true

friends to other people. This is because he was the only one who succeeds to remain true to his

disciples, followers and even his enemies without loving anyone less because of their human

weakness. True friends motivate on towards righteousness and will be honest in every situation;

they would not allow anything to come between the friendships and will always be ready to

forgive and move on with the relationship. Despite being something challenging to achieve or
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find, we can still seek God for help to be true friends like He has been to us all his life.
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13
White, Devin L. Teacher of the Nations: Ancient Educational Traditions and Paul's Argument Commented [G42]: Deleted:a
in 1 Corinthians 1-4. Vol. 227. Walter de Gruyter GmbH & Co KG, 2017.
Commented [G43]: Deleted:ways
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Bibliography

Newton, John. "One There Is, Above All Others, Well Deserves the Name of Friend."
Hymnary.org. Accessed May 14, 2018. Commented [G45]: Deleted:a
https://hymnary.org/text/one_there_is_above_all_others_well_deser. Commented [G44]: Inserted: A

Odinye, Sunny Ifeanyi. "CHINA-AFRICA RELATIONSHIP AND FRIENDSHIP."

Interdisciplinary Journal of African and Asian Studies 1, no. 2 (2017).

Roshchin, Evgeny. Friendship among nations: History of a concept. Oxford University Press,
2017.

White, Devin L. Teacher of the Nations: Ancient Educational Traditions and Paul's Argument in
1 Corinthians 1-4. Vol. 227. Walter de Gruyter GmbH & Co KG, 2017.