Goleman's Emotional Intelligence

Do you agree that most people, when they hear the word intelligent, they would envision someone who
has a high GPA or good grades rather than someone who has good social skills and coping skills

LEt me put an example, lets say Ms. Fe Shes really good in MAth. She always tops the quizzes and exams,
shes very bookish but on the other hand, shes very shy, doesnt have friends, doesnt know how to
socialize and interact well with people.

While on the other hand, we have Mr. Bagunas, hmm usahay mupasar sya sa exams, and then most of
the times mabagsak but on the brighter side, he is very charsiamtic, when he reports in front of the
class, everybody listens, when he talks, everybody pays attention, he has good social skills, it can be seen
because he has a lot of friends. He is very confidently beautiful with a heart and he knows how to
understand people rather than to be understood.

NOw do u agree that when u ask people. Kinsay mas bright they would say mas bright si Ms. Fe

Now that perspective is against Goleman’s emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a type of social intelligence that affords the individual the ability to monitor his
own and others' emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide his thinking
and actions.

There are three components of EQ

1. the awareness of one's own emotions

- this is your ability to recognize your emotions. This is your ability to recognize when youre sad, to
recognize when youre angry and to recognize when youre anxious. Its important nga ma recognize nimo
imuha emotions so that you can control them and u can handle thme . Its beyond recognizing your own
emotions. Its recognizing how and why u feel them

2. 2. the ability to express one's emotions appropriately

- this is the ability or how well do u manage or regulate emotions. For example, if we are sad, do we cry
or throw tantrums, if we are angry, do we just punch someone in the face, if a problem comes, do we
hurt ourself and commit suicide. As an adult as we are, we should need to have the ability to regulate
our emoitons well.

3. and the capacity to channel emotions into the pursuit of worthwhile objectives

- As Goleman claims, one does not achieve one's intellectual potential in the absence of emotional
intelligence This view has been strengthened by research on the relationship between self-control in
early childhood and achievement in adolescence. Children's ability to exercise control over their
emotions in early childhood is strongly related to measures of academic achievement in high school
(Shoa, Mischel, and Peake, 1990, as cited by Bee and Boyd, 2002)

Major qualities that make up emotional intelligence and how they can be developed:

l. Self-awareness The ability to recognize a feeling as it happens is the keystone of emotional intelligence.
People who have greater certainty about their emotions are better pilots of their lives.

- knowing what we are feeling, why we are feeling it

2. Mood Management. The ability to change mood from good to bad and vice versa.

- this is your ability to handle your mood that it wont get into your way or it wont cripple you. That even
though youre angry, you can still put a smile in yhour face so that u can get throughout your day.

What should be done to relive rage? It is said that ventilating is one way to feel better. However,
re- searchers have found that it is one of the worst strategies. Sudden outbursts of rage cause brain
arousal making one more angry

A. Reframing is a more effective technique which means reinterpreting a situation and looking at it in a
more positive light.

- is when u expersience a negatibve thight or emotion but u look at it in a positive way. For example, you
have a customer nga very annoying, dghan rekalmos and always masuko, instead nga malditahan nmo or
nag sugod na kag ka suko, you would instead reframe your thoughts and tell yourself, ah basin naa ni say
problema, or this person is going through a bad day, so sabnton nlng nako

- this technique really helped me personally. It was very helpful to me when I had my first relationship
ended. So when that realtionship ended, I was having all the negative thoughts and emotions . And I was
telling to myself nga my life would never be the same without that person, or that perswon was the best
that I ever had and that I can never move on from him. So I was grieving and I was miserable for several
months until I told myself nga I have to reframe my thoughts. Nga I have to accept that it was over. Nga
that realtionship has to end kay it was toxic in some way and that it doesnt meaN nga it didn’t work with
that person, it doesnt mean that it won work with another person. And that life moves on, so I have to
move forward. When I have reframed my thought, that is when I accepted that it was really over and im
happier now.

B. Going off alone to cool down is also an effective way to defuse anger

- Do you agree with this? When u are in a heated argument with someone , sometimes its hard to calm
down. So if u can feel nga di na nmio ma control imuhang anger, and also the other person is angry, its
better if you will say, im really angry right now and I need some time to calm down, now would you give
me some space to be alone. ANd when u feel calm and ok na, you can talk about the problem na. And
with this way, you can avoid saying things nga you shouldnt have said, or things nga you shouldnt have
done

C. Praying also works for all moods.

D.

3. Self motivation - trying to feel more enthusiastic and developing more zeal and confidence to
arrive at concrete achievement.

- force that drives you to do things

- People with self motivation can find a reason and strength to complete a task, even
when challenging, without giving up or needing another to encourage them.

4. Impulse Control The essence of emotional self-regulation is the ability to delay impulse in the
service of a goal.

- its our ability to resist an urge, a temptation or to delay gratification. For example, we really want to
buy something but our money is just enough or if we buy that thing, wa na tay gamiton for the rest of
the month, if u have control over your impulses, youd be able to tell yourself, ok I wont buy this thing, I
only want it but I don’t need it. Next time nlng if I have extra money.

Or if we are craving for a food, but we are on a diet. Do we have the control to resist eating that food?

Or your friend invited you to go out but you have an exam tomorrow kay sir Miranda and then u have to
study kay sa out of 3 quizzes, wla pa kay napasaran. Do u have the control to resist going out with your
friend?
5. People skills - The ability to feel for another person, whether in job, in romance, and friendship
and in the family

- empathy. The ability to put ourselves in another shoes . When we have empathy to other people, mas
masabtan nato sila and in turn, we will establsih good and harmonious relationships which in turn would
contribute to our well being and happiness in life.

Daniel Goleman argues IQ isnt evrything. Our current view of intelligence is too narrow ignoring
important abilities that determine how well we do in life. With Goleman, he measures life succes
through EQ

1 Self awarenss - this is knowing one’s emotions as they happen . If you can do this, youll make better
decisions

- knowing what we are feeling, why we are feeling it, which is a basis of for exam[ple, good intuition,
good decision mking

2. Managing Emotions - this is the ability to handle feelings. Peopke that can manage their emotions are
good at bouncing back from setbacks in life

- self- managaement which means handling your distressing emotions in effective way so that they don’t
cripple you , they don’t get in the way of what youre doing and yet attuning them when u need to so
that you learn waht u mjust

- when u know how to manage your emotions, u can handle well anxiety and avoid depression and
mood swings by affecting our attitude and outlook on life

Empathy - this is recognizing the emotions of others

Reframing - as bad thoughts come to you, write them down and then reframe them . For example if your
spuse gets upset at you and stroms out the room, instead of thinking , oh shes so cranky all the time for
no reason it drives me nuts. Write down that thought and rfefrme it to maybe shes just had a bad day at
work.
- Just like with anger, take note of bad thoughts when they come to you and see them in a more postive
light . I can resonate with this startefgy which helped me after my gisrst relationship ended. I had a lot of
negative thoughts comeing into my mind like life will never be the same withjout him . After seven
months, I finally accepted that the relationship was over and if I continued to grive, I would surely get
nowehere . So instead I though, ok the relationship wasn’t so great. What can I learn from it This was a
masive truning point in my life, and now in a new realtionjship and things are going great . SOmething
that never would happened if I didn’t change my thinking

Emotional Intelligence refers to how well we habndle ourselves and our relationships

Intelligence is usually associated with academic studies , knowl;edge and experiences but rarely do we
discuss and fopcus about emotinal intellignece .

In general before I can tell the difference between a sociall awkward, robotic indicidual whos is
academicadill samrt and seem to know a lot aganst people who might not be the smartest inn the room
but are very charsimatic, sociable friendly, outgoing and extroverted .

In his book, GHoleman presents studies with numerous research datas and evidences telling that a
children who idenitfied unbderstand and respond to emotions with calm and collective reason and
empathy, fare better in school, adulthood, relationship and in career

Golem,an explains why IQ is not as great as everyone make it out to be. He argued that a person
intell;igence measured by the IQ tes is not that great of a preditor of the overall sucess, well being and
happiness in their life.

It doesnt mater how smart you are, if you cant control your emoitons and then it grew over your
behavios and actions , it doesnt matter if you have high IQ if evry time u have an emotional event, u cant
focus and conctrate on your task so

In our world today, we have been focused on IQ, schools ranked us according to our GPA , our test and
ouir grades detemrine what school student get in and this future career path. We have come to assume
that IQ is the most importnt determiannt for succes. THerefore thjs have become a socail norm in our
education system to focus on test taking and how well the children are doing under tes and school
grade .
This are useless when they enter the working where socil skill and indicividuals talents and experiences
are more important