Personal Narrative Packet

Name:
______________________________________
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“and I am a writer”

Period: ___________________________

Our Goals:
1. To write vivid, complex, stories
that give great sensory details of
setting, character and action
because
__________________________________
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2. To write leads that jump our
readers into action because our
writing
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3. To write scenes that give great
dialogue! If your characters don’t
talk then you readers, feel like
they are watching a silent movie.
4. To write scenes in the present
tense so that the readers feels as
if he or she is in your moment as
it is happening because
_____________________.
5. To write using details that
“show” not “tell” because we want
our readers to
____________________________.
6. To end our writing with purpose!
How did you learn or change from
this experience? Why does this
matter to you?
Writing Marathon Day - “I am a writer”

Prompt 1:
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Writing Marathon Day - “I am a writer”

Prompt 2:
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Our beliefs are deeply connected to our

experiences!

Video Observations: “Being 12: The Year

Everything Changes”
 I could write about:
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I wonder
about______________________________________
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I am curious about:
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“My Memories” Notes
I remember when:
1. _________________________________________
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2. _________________________________________
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3. _________________________________________
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4. _________________________________________
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 5. _________________________________________
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6. _________________________________________
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7. _________________________________________
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8. _________________________________________
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9. _________________________________________
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10. _________________________________________
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My Experience Sketch: Here is a place where you can

draw an outline of your body and map out the scars and
experiences that you have had to help you to begin
thinking about stories you would could tell for your
personal narrative!
My experiences shaped me!
Quick Write:
Topic: ______________________________

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Personal Narrative /Autobiographical Incident Rubric

Minimal Evidence Gaining Proficiency Proficient Exemplary
1 2 3 4
Opening There is no apparent The lead attempts a The lead uses an The lead uses a
lead or exposition technique, but it is appropriate technique that
(context) to begin not engaging or technique to begin engages the reader’s
the story. appropriate; some the story; exposition attention; exposition
exposition is creates a sufficient clearly establishes
included, but is not context to set up the the context to
complete or is story. understand the
confusing. premise of the story.
 Narrative The story lacks The story attempts a The story controls a The story effectively
Techniques and narrative techniques, limited range of limited range of uses some narrative
Word Choice contains only basic narrative techniques, narrative techniques, techniques, contains
word choices, and contains simple contains generally precise and vivid
 Imagery provides minimal word choices, and precise and word choices, and
 figurative and/or weak details provides limited interesting word provides consistent
language or descriptions. and/or unrelated choices, and provides and effective details
specific details details and adequate and and description.
description. relevant details and
description.
Focus and Storyline does not Storyline focuses on Storyline focuses Storyline clearly
Development focus on a single a single experience reasonably well on a focuses on a single
of Story experience (lacks with some single experience, is experience, is well
clear focus on a digressions, is complete (conflict, developed (conflict,
conflict) or is underdeveloped actions, results, and actions, results and
undeveloped and/or (skeleton of story or emotions are emotions are clear
flow of ideas merely a list of satisfactory and and engaging)--
(actions, results, and events) and/or create some showing the action
responses) is contains information voice/sense of and providing insight
random. gaps and/or jumps in writer), but into characters and
action. primarily tell (rather events.
than show) the
action.
Fluency Flow of story is Flow of story is Flow of story is Flow of story is
choppy; sentences mechanical (a list of steady and generally effortless and
are fragments, run- events); sentences connected; sentences purposeful;
ons and/or contain are primarily simple are mostly correct sentences are
awkward phrasing. and unvaried. and somewhat purposefully varied
structurally varied. in structure and
length.
Dialogue Dialogue is not The dialogue is The dialogue in the The dialogue is
included or used in minimal or story is sufficient and effective in capturing
an inappropriate mechanical and does natural sounding, if a character’s voice
context (e.g. quoting not improve the pace predictable, and adds and adds to the
indirect quotes or of the story. some pacing to the pacing of the story.
non--dialogue). story.
Theme The writer does not The writer provides The writer provides The writer clearly
(Significance) include a statement a brief or confusing a basic statement and effectively shows
of the significance of statement of the and explanation of or reflects the
the story. significance of the the significance of significance of the
story the story. story.
Conventions Serious and Frequent errors Occasional errors Errors are so few and
numerous errors cause some occur but do not minor that they are
create incoherence distraction and/or interfere with easily overlooked.
and/ or confusion. confusion, or it is understanding.
written so simply
there are few
chances for errors.
Model Writing Scoring Sheet:

Model 1:
Grade: ___________________
Rationale:
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What I liked about this piece: -
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What did I not like about this piece:
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Model 2:
Grade: ___________________
Rationale:
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What I liked about this piece: -
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What did I not like about this piece:
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Model 3:
Grade: ___________________
Rationale:
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What I liked about this piece: -
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What did I not like about this piece:
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Model 4:
Grade: ___________________
Rationale:
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What I liked about this piece: -
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What did I not like about this piece:
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Personal Narrative Planning Sheet:

 In Conclusion:
What did I learn from this experience:
To be present and acknowledge the special
people and places you are around even when
times are difficult
The Theme of this story will be:
It is important to be mindful of where you
are and who you are with.

Concluding sentence:
In conclusion, I learned that _________
when I ________ and I have taken away from
this experience that _______________.

Here are three ideas I have to title this story:

1. A Lost Bus Ticket, and an Adventure.

2. A Perfect Beach Day Gone Wrong

3. Meeting New Friends in the Midst of a Sticky Situation

Revising vs. Editing

R – Replace
- What words can I replace to make sure
my piece sounds the best?
 - What words are overused, how can I
replace them to break that up?
- How can I use stronger vocabulary?

A – ADD
- Where can I add more descriptive words
to give my readers a better
visualization of what this experience
was like?
- Where can I add more details,
metaphors, or any new information to
take my paper to the next level?

D- DELETE
- Are there any areas that do not make
sense that I should take out?
- Is there a specific part of my paper
that I no longer need to tell in order
to show the whole story?

R – Reorder
- Where can I move certain thoughts,
ideas, or sentences so they can make
more sense somewhere else?
- Are all of my events in the right
order?

RADAR your own Story

 1. Highlight (in yellow) places you
want to replace.
2. Add a comment on places you
want to add more to.
3. Cross out sections in your paper
that you no longer want to have.
4. Highlight in a different color (pink)
places you want to reorder.

Why might it be important to revise our

stories?

What was the easiest part of revision for

you?

What was the hardest part?

Leading into a great story

-Grab your reader’s attention –
 Let’s try out three different lead techniques
to see which one we as writers like the best!
Pick a lead technique that we discussed early
and rewrite your current lead.

Lead #1
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Lead #2
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Lead #3
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 End it with Purpose!
Using techniques, we discussed in class:

1. Show how your conflict of your story ended

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__________2. Hint at your story’s theme
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CHECK!! Does your conclusion connect with your
introduction?

Revisions, Revisions- Snapshots and Thoughtshots

Snapshots: By adding snapshots to our writing, we are able to give readers

“mental pictures” of what is happening in our stories. Snapshots allow us
to show the readers exactly what took place, rather than simply telling
them.
For example, we can tell readers “I was very hot”, but it would be much more exciting to show
our readers exactly how hot we were. We could change this boring sentence to a snapshot by
saying, “Beads of sweat dripped down my face, causing my long, brown hair to stick to me
like glue”.

Find three boring, “tell” sentences in your story, and change them to “show” Snapshots!

Original Sentence:
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New Snapshot:
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Original Sentence:
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New Snapshot:
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Original Sentence:
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New Snapshot:
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Thoughtshots: By adding thoughshots to our writing, we help readers know

exactly what we were thinking, feeling imagining, or dreaming at a
particular moment in our story. We help them to feel what we felt, and to
think what we thought. Thoughtshots help readers relate to our stories.
For example, we can take a boring sentence such as, “I tripped down the stairs” and change it
to a thoughtshot.

Thoughtshot: I tripped down the stairs and my face grew bright red. I was sure the whole
school was laughing at me. I wondered how I would ever live this embarrassing moment
down. Maybe I would fake sick the next day, so I didn’t have to show my face again. I felt
absolutely humiliated.

Find three places to add thoughtshots to your

narrative.

Original Sentence:
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New Thoughtshot:
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Original Sentence:
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New Thoughtshot
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Original Sentence:
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New Thoughtshot
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Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________

Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________

Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________
Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________
Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________

Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
______________________________________
You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________

Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
________________
I liked when you
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You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
______________
My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________

Name:
I saw vivid verbs in these paragraphs
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I liked when you
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You need more vivid verbs in paragraph
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My favorite part of your piece
is_______________________
You need to work
on___________________________________
Your name: ___________________ Writer’s
Name: _____________
Begin Editing your partner’s paper by:
1. Underlining one sentence that you really like in green
2. Underlining one sentence that you think could be have
have more detail in blue
3. Circling three boring words that you think could be
spiced up in one
YES
NO
1. Sentences are complete ___
___
2. The writing has a good introduction ___ ___
3. There are supporting detail ___ ___
4. Sensory words are used ___ ___
5. The writing uses punctuation properly ___ ___
6. the writing has a good conclusion ___ ___

STARS WISHES
(I really like that you…) (I wonder what your piece
would sound like if you did…)
 My Post Conference plan:

Three things that I found interesting about my

feedback:

1.

2.

3.

Three things that I am going to change in my

document right now:

1.

2.

3.