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My 35% Response Offline Letter

by
Ronald Nzimora,
Consultant, Publisher, Marketer
WARRIOR FORUM ID: john55
PLEASE NOTE: I AM SELLING NOTHING HERE. THIS IS JUST TO HELP
STRUGGLING OTHERS.

The salesletter below is what i use to get clients. If you tweak it to your country and
target client, you can use it to produce the same results I get.

There’s Part One which has the sales letter in full and then

There’s Part Two which has the salesletter with an analysis done on it,

All over the salesletter, I have added annotations and explained all the areas and
points that I believe has made this a solid winner.

Go ahead and make good with this,

It’s absolutely FREE!

God bless you.

Ronald.

Here goes . . .
"(Prospective Client's Name) I know You Want To Increase
Your Business Profits... Here's one way to do it. FREE."
Dear (their name),

If you want to increase the rate at which your business generates more party lovers
who will be willing to buy one of your boating packages, then this is the most
important letter you'll read today.

Here's why.

There are newer ways to generate cash-paying clients that are far easier, far
effective and most IMPORTANTLY cheaper than Newspaper/TV/and Radio
advertising.

Here's one of them. Please find time to implement it today.

Your tip . . .

Build a website that will have nothing but a form on it. This form will 'force' people to
give you their name, email address and phone number.

When next you advertise, direct people to go to this website and fill in the form to get
a 10% (or whatever discount you want) when they use your service.

Now if they do, you will have their CONTACT DETAILS!

Now you can call them, email them, sms them anytime you want to sell your boating
packages.

Now Sir, contrast it with the way you are currently advertising. The way you're doing
it now, when people see your advert, they may not reply. Even if they do, because
you are not 'capturing' their contact details, you may never ever hear from them
again.

That's money gone down the drain. Whenever they need this service eventually, they
most likely will never remember you and instead buy from your competitors.

How do I know this will work?

Because I have used this tactic and many similar others for business owners just like
you.

My name is Ronald Nzimora and I am a marketing consultant. I specialize in helping


businesses like yours increase their profits and customer numbers.

No Sir, do not call me just yet. This is not a sales message. Rather I saw your advert
in the Punch newspapers and I seeing you're advertising in other to get more
customers, I felt I could send you this one tip. If you put it to use, it will help you
immensely.

Now Sir, in case you call me as call me as I suspect you might, I can come in and
explain further how this strategy will work for your business.

My number is xxxx-xxx-xxxx.

This visit is absolutely at no CHARGE to you or your organisation.

Why do I think you may want to call me?

Simple. It's because I know you are a smart man. You will want to take advantage of
this opportunity I presented here before your competitors learn of it. That way you
will be months, even years ahead of them, and they can only play catch up.

When I come in, if I have other ways I can help you, I will share them with you. IF
there are none and you're doing just fine, I'll tell you so.

You owe me nothing.

Thanks for reading my letter,

I look forward to hearing from you how what I have shared has helped you.

Ronald
"(Prospective Client's Name) I Know You Want To
Increase Your Business Profits... Here's one way to
do it. FREE."
1. INTRIGUE, CURIOSITY. This headline is INTRIGUING. Intrigue elicits curiosity.
And it contains a BENEFIT. It has the magic word FREE in it. It’s pretty hard for a
business person to ignore an offer which echoes what they want (increase their
profits) and for FREE too! Best of all it has THEIR NAME in it. It’s almost impossible
to find one person who’d see a headline with their name in it and not read it.

----------

Dear (their name),

2. ALWAYS USE A NAME. In your salesletter, you always want to address the
reader by name if you can,. It converts better. Enough said

----------

If you want to increase the rate at which your business generates more party lovers
who will be willing to buy one of your boating packages, then this is the most
important letter you'll read today.

Here's why.

3. KILLER INTRO: I learnt this copywriting secret by studying Gary Halbert. I


consider him to be The GREATEST copywriter who ever lived. Gary said, (I can’t
remember which edition of his newsletter) when you start an introduction like this, it
forces the prospect to read on.

You’re telling him what he wants to hear (Number 1) and then why he should hear it
(Number 2). Double edged brilliance from Gary if you ask me ☺.

----------

There are newer ways to generate cash-paying clients that are far easier, far
effective and most IMPORTANTLY cheaper than Newspaper/TV/and Radio
advertising.

Here's one of them. Please find time to implement it today.

4. BREED TRUST: You promised something. Then you fulfil it. This breeds trust
from the reader instantly.

----------

Your tip . . .
Build a website that will have nothing but a form on it. This form will 'force' people to
give you their name, email address and phone number.

When next you advertise, direct people to go to this website and fill in the form to get
a 10% (or whatever discount you want) when they use your service.

Now if they do, you will have their CONTACT DETAILS!

Now you can call them, email them, sms them anytime you want to sell your boating
packages.

Now Sir, contrast it with the way you are currently advertising. The way you're doing
it now, when people see your advert, they may not reply. Even if they do, because
you are not 'capturing' their contact details, you may never ever hear from them
again.

5. COMPARISON! The idea here was to give them a tip, then point out something
they were doing that actually contrasted with what they were already doing. Now
what ever you choose should actually seem like a common sense yet effective
alternative to what they were already doing.

Sometimes I wonder what the client is doing when he reads my tip. And sees it
contrasted to his current method. Must be exclaiming, “Man I’ve been doing it
dumb the whole time.”

----------

That's money gone down the drain. Whenever they need this service eventually, they
most likely will never remember you and instead buy from your competitors.

How do I know this will work?

Because I have used this tactic and many similar others for business owners just like
you.

My name is Ronald Nzimora and I am a marketing consultant. I specialize in helping


businesses like yours increase their profits and customer numbers.

No Sir, do not call me just yet. This is not a sales message. Rather I saw your advert
in the Punch newspapers and I seeing you're advertising in other to get more
customers, I felt I could send you this one tip. If you put it to use, it will help you
immensely.

6. TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE + IMPLIED PROOF: At this point I’m sure the client
would be wondering, “Who the hell is this guy and why is he telling me this?” So I
introduce myself and what I do.

I also imply that I work with business owners just like them.
Now if you noticed, I say they should not call just yet. Why did I do this?

Simple.

I didn’t want to come off as salesy. I wanted to come out as really wanting to help.
Most consultants use high pressure to try to sell their services. DUMB. If you sound,
look or act needy people will NOT want to work with you.

----------

Now Sir, in case you call me as call me as I suspect you might, I can come in and
explain further how this strategy will work for your business.

My number is XXXX-XXX-XXXX.

7. SUPPLY A RESPONSE MECHANISM: I supply a phone number. Gary says in


different tests he has done, using ONLY a phone number to bring in response has
worked better than anything else he’s ever tried. Who am I to argue with the great
‘Sir Gary of Halbert’. I simply do the same!

And here’s why I supply my phone number at this point.

I know that if he sees the tip and the common sense presented versus his own
marketing, he most likely want to call me.

----------

This visit is absolutely at no CHARGE to you or your organisation.

Why do I think you may want to call me?

Simple. It's because I know you are a smart man. You will want to take advantage of
this opportunity I presented here before your competitors learn of it. That way you
will be months, even years ahead of them, and they can only play catch up.

When I come in, if I have other ways I can help you, I will share them with you. IF
there are none and you're doing just fine, I'll tell you so.

And don’t worry, all the time it will take is some 15-20 minutes. Then I’ll be out of
your hair. ☺

8. EGO STROKING AND FEAR: Here I use oldest psychology tricks in the book. 1.
STROKE SOMEONE’S EGO. Make him seem smart and he’ll want to reciprocate.

FEAR: Then I use FEAR, suggesting their competitors will most likely learn about
these methods BEFORE them.

I also suggest subtly that I have other methods which will help his business.

Plus I tell them this will NOT WASTE THEIR TIME!


----------

You owe me nothing.

Thanks for reading my letter,

I look forward to hearing from you how what I have shared has helped you.

(Signature here)

Ronald

9. REAFIRMATION: I reassure them that this isn’t a sales call. I reassure them this
will cost them nothing. All they have is just pick up the phone and call.

Then I close.

I hope this analysis will be of immense help to you.

Go ahead and succeed.

Thanks For Reading!


I hope to share stuff with you when I have the time to do so.

If you have a comment please post it in the thread.

As in life as well as in business, things may get tough, but if you keep going, no
matter your current situation, you will achieve success.

So . . .KEEP GOING.

God bless you.

Ronald Nzimora

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