TWENTY TOES #1 (modify as needed for local hashing day, etc . ..

) HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER(S) #10

There’s a game called twenty toes Here's to brother (sister) hasher,
It’s played all over town BALL GAME #4 Bother hasher, brother hasher,
Some folks play with ten toes up Here's to brother hasher,
And some with ten toes down Whip it out at the Ball Game May he chug-a-lug.
Down, down, down, down, down….. Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it in peanuts and crackerjack He's happy, he's jolly,
FATHER ABRAHAM #2 I don’t care if you give it a whack
Because it’s beat your meat at the ball game
He's fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher,
If you don’t come it’s a shame, May he chug-a-lug.
Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons, ‘cause it’s one, two your covered in goo
Seven sons had Father Abraham, at the ol’ ball game So drink motherfucker,
And he never smiled, Drink motherfucker,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this - With a right! HALF A BRAIN #5 Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Here's to brother hasher,
All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right I’ve Only half a brain, May he chug-a-lug.
arm) The other half is shit
It comes out by the pound
Leader: Father Abraham had seven sons, Squeeze a little more HE'S THE MEANEST #11
Seven sons had Father Abraham, and it oozes out a bit
And he never smiled, He's the meanest,
And he never cried,
All he did was go like this - With a right! YOUR NOT NUMBER FIVE #6 He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
All (shout/actions): With a right! (extend right Your Not Number Five
arm) Number Four All he does is pound it,
Leader: And a left! Number Three Ever since he found it,
All (shout/actions): And a left! (extend left arm) Number Two He's the meanest,
Your Number ONE He's a horse's ass.
More verses/actions:
With a right! (extend right leg)
With a left! (extend left leg) BIRTHDAY SONG #7 He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
And a HEEEE! (hump pelvis) He's the meanest,
And a HUUHH! (turn around, drop pants, moon Happy birthday, fuck you, He's a horse's ass.
pack) Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole, So drink it down, down, down . . .
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
MONDAY IS A WANKING DAY #3
HIS ONE-SKIN #12
Leader: Today is Monday!
All: Today is Monday! HER LEFT TIT #8 His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking His two skin hangs down to his three,
motion) Her left tit hangs down to her belly, His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion) Her right tit hangs down to her knee. His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit, Drink it down, down, down . . .
CHORUS: She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Leader: Are we gonna have a good time? Drink it down, down, down . . . OPTIONAL VERSES:
All: You bet your ass we are! Roll back, roll back,
All: (raise cups over heads and make one Roll back his foreskin for him, for him.
complete turn while humming) Da da dut da da,
da da dut da da
HERE’S TO THE VIRGINS #9 Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back his foreskin for him.
Here's to the virgins ,
Leader: Today is Tuesday!
Their true blue,
All: Today is Tuesday!
Leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering
They are Hashers, INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN #13
Through and through,
motion)
They are pisspots, CHORUS:
All: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
So they say, Swing low, sweet chariot,
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking
Tried to go to heaven, Coming for to carry me home,
motion)
But they went the other way, Swing low, sweet chariot,
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
Drink it down, down, down . . Coming for to carry me home.
HERE'S TO ________
Chorus
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Here's to , Coming for to carry me home,
(now that you've got the idea, here are the rest of
(S)he's true blue, (he's a blue) A band of angels coming after me,
the days)
(S)he's a Hasher, Coming for to carry me home.
Through and through,
Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue
(S)he's a pisspot, (he's an asshole) If you get there before I do,
between 2nd & 3rd fingers)
So they say, Coming for to carry me home,
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute)
Tried to go to heaven, Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions,
But (s)he went the other way, Coming for to carry me home.
cheering, happiness)
So drink it down, down, down . . . (repeat with variations: humming and motions
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions,
cheering, happiness)day of rest only, silence and motions only, double-time)
Sunday is a hashing day (low key, almost quiet)

MEET THE HASHERS #14
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From the, town of Portland,
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down
WHY ARE WE WAITING? #15
Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .
OUR LAGER #16
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill upon us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Forever and ever, Barmen.
SHORT HYMN #17
Hymn, hymn, (Her, her,)
Fuck him . . . (Fuck her . . .)
SOLDIER SONG
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and my Queen,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED
ON #18
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .
THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG #19
This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long. . . .
WHAT A WANK #20
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,
wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,
wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank. #27
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEDNESDAY Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
NIGHT? #21 La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Where, were you last Wednesday night?
Why did you make us hash all alone? FUCK A DUCK #28
We search the hills over Looking for flour Fuck a duck,
And you were at home, wanking your bone. A female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo,
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren't even here. Finger bang an orangutan,
Let an elephant eat you,
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the
Beer. FEEL the penis of an eel,
WHACK the asshole of a yak,
Drink it down, down, down, down . . . MASTURBATE with a gnu,
That will bring us back to
WHY WAS (S)HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck . . .
Repeat with motions, humming, silence, etc
#22
Why was (s)he born so beautiful? HEAD CHANT #29
Why was (s)he born at all?
(S)he's no fuckin' use to anyone, Head? Who said head?
(S)he's no fuckin’ use at all. I'll take some of that!
Oooh-rah!
They say (s)he's a joy to his/her mother,
But (s)he's a pain in the asshole to me, And I did, and it was good,
And there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours,
WHY WAS SHE BORN A BITCH? #23 Uprooting trees, and shrubs, and flowers?
We fucked like Vikings, with horns on our head.
Why was she born so beautiful?
Why was she born a bitch? Head? Who said head?
She's no bloody use to anyone, I'll take some of that!
She's only got one tit. Oooh-rah!
ZICKY-ZACKY #24 PUT YOUR LEFT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
The purpose of the zicky-zacky chant is to point #30
out breaches in circle etiquette - members of the Put your left leg over my shoulder,
circle surround the offender and repeat chant Put your right leg over my shoulder,
loudly: (wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Zicky-zacky, zicky-zacky,
Hoy, Hoy, Hoy!
Zicky-zacky, zicky-zacky, MACDONALD'S FARM #31
Hoy, Hoy, Hoy!
Zicky-zacky, zicky-zacky, Old MacDonald had a farm,
Hoy, Hoy, Hoy! Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.
And on that farm he had a whale!!!!!!!!!!!!
. . . and so on until offender completes a down-
down . . . alternatively, the zicky-zacky chant can
be performed whenever someone screws up a DOUGH, RAY, ME #32
verse in a hash song (of course, the offending
singer must immediately do a down-down while Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
the pack chants). Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks the beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
ZULU WARRIOR #25 So, I'll have another beer,
La, I'll have another beer,
Ole, zooma zooma zooma, Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer,
Ole, zooma zooma chief, And that brings us back to,
Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer . . (etc)
Drink it down you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down you Zulu chief,
Drink it down you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief! SHIT-ON-YA #33
Shit on you, shit on you
BIMBO #26 It’s russion for I Love You.
If I had my way,
There was a girl who hashed with us I’d shit-on-ya all day,
and BIMBO was her name oh Shit-on-ya, Shit-on-ya, Shit-on-ya
B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O
And BIMBO was her name oh
MRS MURPHY #34
Take it in your hand Mrs Murphy
For it only ways a quarter of a pound
It's got hair on its neck like a turkey (gobble,
gobble!)
And it spits when you shake it up and down
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HE'S GOT A DOSE OF CLAP #35
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
He's got a dose of clap on his dick,
And it goes drip, drip, drip...
Drink it down, down, down . . . .
BATTLE HYMN OF THE HASHER #36
Melody – Battle Hymn of the Republic
His eyes have seen the horror of the steepness of
the trail,
His ears have heard the whining of the whinging
Hashers’ tale,
His lips have felt the passing of this nation's finest
ale, This Hasher's done it all!
CHORUS: Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Glory, Glory, Ale and Lager!
Now drink it down, down, down!
AMAZING BEER #37
A - maz - ing beer,
A taste profound,
a whole keg just for thee!
The pack is lost,
But home you've found,
The beer check you can see
I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY #38
Melody - I Don't Want to Join the Army
I don't want to join the Army,
I don't want to go to war,
I'd rather hang around Picadilly Underground,
Living off the earnings of a high born lady.
I don't want a bullet up me arsehole,
Don't want me buttocks shot away,
I want to stay in Portland,
Jolly, jolly Portland,
And fornicate me bloomin' life away, gor blimey .
..
Monday I touched her on the ankle,
Tuesday I touched her on the knee,
On Wednesday, I confess, I lifted up her dress,
Thursday I saw you-know-what,
Friday I put me hand upon it,
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak (Tweak!
Tweak!)
And Sunday after supper, I put the old boy up 'er,
And now she earns me forty bob a week, gor
blimey.
CLOSE TO BREW #39 As the feeling you gets when you humps with a
moose
Melody - Close to You
Why do hashers suddenly appear, HARRIETTES' VERSES:
Every time BEER is NEAR?
Just like me, they long to be, Close to Brew,
All my past lovers did brag about size,
Ahhhhh Ahhhh Ahh,
Close to Brew, Those tales of twelve inches were nothing but lies,
Ahhhhh Ahhhh Ahh,
But a moose is the size that a man ought to be,
Down Down Down!
That's why from now on it's mooses for me.
Hasher Beer song #40 When I was much younger I read dirty books,
I stroked myself with each gazing look,
Melody-Keebler cookie song, with drum roll But nothing can make my eyes start to twinkle,
Than getting it off with that stud Bullwinkle.
Oh, you never would believe where this down-
down beer comes from
It’s made by little hashers in a beer factory Now that I'm older and into my years,
And, what do you think makes it’s flavor so I'll have you to know that I shed no tears,
uncommon.? While I lay by the fire with a glass of Mateus,
It’s brewed in filthy toilets and it’s unsani-tary Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose.
Drink it Down, Down, Down, Down….
MOOSE SONG #40
Melody - Sweet Betsy from Pike
CHORUS (SUNG WHILE MAKING ANTLERS
ON HEAD WITH HANDS):
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose,
My life has been merry,
My women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.
When I'm in the mood for a very fine lay
I go to the closet and pull out some hay,
I open the window and spread it around,
Because moose will come running when there's
hay on the ground.
HARRIERS' VERSES:
When I was a young lad I played with the girls
I'd fondle their titties and twirl their curls,
But my true love ran off with a classmate named
Bruce,
I never got treated that way by a moose.
Women like pearls and diamonds and cars
I spend all my money on them in bars,
But a moose is content to be tied to a tree,
While I find other mooses to satisfy me.
Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with
hair,
I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not
there,
I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose
Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,
But it just ain't the same when you slams your
caboose