Contents

citypaper June 21, 2006

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5 Uncovering Project Censored
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Managing Editor
10 Laura Bush Ignores AIDS
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4 Columbia Bus Riders Speak Out
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Iraq Correspondent
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Movies
Deric Kempsell
11 Statehouse Report By Andy Brack 4
Angry Whale 21 Mike Cambell Loses His Glasses
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3 Letters to the Reader & Talk Back!
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15 The Angry Whale on
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Letters
Letters to the Reader
Dear Ad Mobile,
There’s something not right about a
moving billboard that uses unnecessary gas
during these trying times. It’s like you’ve found
a way to combine the two most obnoxious
ways to destroy our surroundings: the visual
eye sore of billboards with vehicle emissions,
which are the number one contributor to global
warming. Thanks for letting us know who the
least environmentally conscious companies
in town are. And I know what I’ll be thinking
when I’m out in the blistering, smog-choked
heat of traffic: this melanoma was brought to
me in part by Ad Mobile.
Columbia City Paper
Dear Rick Quinn,
We thought you were a fighter! We’re
disappointed at your decision to avoid a
runoff against Thomas Ravenel for the state
treasurer seat. Remember wrestling Greenville
Rep. Daniel Trip outside of Uncle Louie’s in
March? That fearless display was great and
now we can’t understand why you would be
afraid of Thomas Ravenel. Must be because
he was the captain of his wrestling team in high
school. Tell you what, to give you a chance to
defend your heavyweight title, let’s schedule
an exhibition Jell-o wrestling match for you
and Ravenel at Uncle Louie’s. Proceeds can
Talk Back!
Dear Editor,
$3000 for 52 Sundays is rather more
than “three times the going price” of the
weekday licenses, at least on a per-day ba-
sis. The per day-price for a liquor license for
the “weekday” (six days a week) is just under
$2.75. The per- day price for Sundays is just
under (hold onto your seat!) $57.70, almost
21 times the going price. How many drinks
have to be sold before you can actually start
paying the cost of the liquor you’ve already
started pouring?
E-payments? Don’t use ‘em. Tell
your bank when to pay these folks. Sure,
that means your bank will know what your
account numbers for these places is, but
hey! Don’t you think they do already? And
isn’t that better than giving all those other
folks permission to draft your bank ac-
count?
Bruce Robb
Thanks for catching the mathematical
error, there, Bruce. The author of the ar-
ticle in question has always had problems
with basic arithmetic... and basic personal
hygiene... and, well, basic human decency.
Thanks for the comment!
Columbia City Paper
The Make Me a F#!king Columnist
Guy: Part 3: This Time It’s Personal
Dear CCP,
I’ve been out on vacation and just got
back. I picked up the latest issue of CCP
(CCCP? Coincidence?) and I must say Oval-
tine sucks and “A Christmas Story” rocks.
In reply though, think about what you
just did. “If you want a Conservative column
go to your favorite charities. What do you
say?
Columbia City Paper
Dear SunCom,
Don’t worry about too much bad press,
our contract runs out in November of 2007. That’s how Thomas Ravenel rolls.”
Since it would cost $1,200 to terminate our
contract, we’ll just keep our readers updated on the campaign trail for S.C. state treasurer
on your service until then. In the past 48 hours
we have recorded 16 dropped calls. Our
attorney thinks that your service constitutes
a breach of contract but he’s a little busy with
USC violating open records laws right now.
Maybe USC’s director of communications,
Russ McKinney, owns a SunCom cell phone
and that’s why he doesn’t return calls.
Columbia City Paper
Dear Recently Engaged,
You poor sap! The big league nagging,
God help you, will start in about three weeks.
After the vows and once you’re officially a
“lifer,” things like the heat dry on/off button on
the dishwasher will threaten to destroy your
relationship. Then you’ll start to see people
that she used to date. Everywhere. Are we
still on for frisby golfing? Oh, you promised
her you’d shop for curtains? ...Just kidding!
Congrats! -Columbia City Paper
letters@columbiacitypaper.com
just read Michael Graham”. Now, your dis-
service is twofold. Not only did you point out
that you can’t and won’t offer a conservative
column, but you basically said that people
should read your “competition” because you
can’t compete.
Come on now fellas’...you’re in the pub-
lic eye. Shit like that makes for many left over
papers each week. I say hire me and we’ll
devise a plan to conquer the Free Times and
Michael Graham and Ted Rall and...oh...wait
a minute...never mind. I think my issue is this:
it’s not about Bush. Bush is the figurehead,
the “Don-Mecca” for your MTV generation
readers. He isn’t really the problem.
If you think back to government, sociol-
ogy, economics, and history classes, you’ll
remember that the president holds only
one of our 3 branches of government and
is therefore, in and of himself, powerless
without cooperation with others (another ex-
ample being the WMD situation that led up
to the war in Iraq. Where did the intel come
from? Did Bush simply make it up? No...there
is plenty of documentation that the CIA and
other intelligence agencies passed on incor-
rect information...so sometimes it’s not even
one of the 3 branches screwing things up).
Now, this is not to say that your fine
publication does not cover local, regional,
state, and national government other than
the President, but your constant, (and usu-
ally unfounded) attacks on Bush show that
there’s no substance. It’s like people don’t
care what’s really going on, it’s just about at-
tacking/defending Bush and that’s stupid.
Bush is the President and yes, a very
powerful man, but keep in mind: he cannot
act alone (in spite of many Liberal claims
that Bush is some rouge dictator who does
Dear Thomas Ravenel,
If we had a “Political Quote of the Week”
section you’d be right at the top with this
remark to The State about the GOP state
treasurer’s nomination for the June 27 runoff:
“That’s how I operate. That’s how I roll.
- Charleston developer Thomas Ravenel,
“That’s how Thomas Ravenel rolls.” (On a
duel man-cycle, right behind Andre Bauer)
Columbia City Paper
Dear MySpace Users,
Here’s a bulletin: Interactive email is useful
and fun, but do us all a favor and keep your do it on a back road so you don’t hurt anyone
internet life on the internet. If you’re out at the besides yourself. Or better yet, why don’t
bar and talking about MySpace.com, then you ride a chopped Harley like a big boy?
you’re missing the opportunity for real human Columbia City Paper
interaction. Trust us, a person’s online fantasy
persona is much less interesting than the
what he wants and that the entire country is
against him but are powerless to stop his se-
cret police who kick in doors and kill babies
in the darkness of night). This was designed
by our founding fathers for that very reason:
checks and balances ladies and gentle-
men...
So in closing, my point continues to be
that you attack Bush as if he holds some
magical key that can bring peace on Earth,
food to the poor, and shelter to the home-
less. He’s just a dude. Not God. He only has
as much power as we allow. And you get no-
where arguing the point anymore. That shit
died 5 years ago. Those who love him will
continue to do so, and those who don’t...
well, you’re simply to preaching’ to the choir
now boys.
p.s. If the mop bucket piss guy was a
Republican, then the bucket must have
voted for Kerry. The guy was just doing
his duty to his country.
Andrew Rusnak
It’s not that we can’t run a conservative
column, Andrew. We just find conservatives
too freaky for our office parties. Well, except
for Bob Corker’s daughter. (Corker (R-TN) is
a conservative running for Bill Frist’s Senate
seat, though that apparently hasn’t stopped
his daughter, Julia, from posting photos of
herself online locking lips with another fe-
male, before doing “the butt” on the dance
floor with yet another girl, who is in her un-
derwear. Now, she’s welcome at our parties,
anytime!).
Seriously, though, it seems that right-
leaning newspapers-- whether in print or
behind closed doors-- have ruled Columbia
citypaper June 7, 2006 
actual person. It’s great for stalkers, posting
porn links, and pretending you have friends,
though. Will you be my friend?
www.myspace.com/columbiacitypaper
Columbia City Paper
Dear Jealous Boyfriend,
Afraid you will lose the girl of your dreams?
Then you’d better start acting like a jackass:
that’s sure to keep her. Go ahead and tell her
who she should and shouldn’t talk to, get her
email password, read the text messages on
her phone and her call logs, and be sure to
ask her where she was last night. Nothing
says “I love You” more than the Orenthal J.
Simpson form of communication.
Columbia City Paper
Dear Crotch Rocketeers,
Nothing screams, “I’m compensating
for a little wee-wee!” more blantantly than
weaving through Assembly Street traffic on a
plastic motorcycle at 80 mph, shirtless, across
summer asphalt hot enough to fry bacon on.
If you feel a need to thin the herd, at least
with an iron fist. We’re rebalancing the scales.
And, we hesitate to call the Free Times our
competition; that’s comparing apples to or-
anges. We’re an alternative newspaper that
pulls no punches and they’re an entertain-
ment weekly. It’s like comparing BBC News
to Entertainment Tonight or QVC; like putting
a shot of Jack Daniels in the same category
as a strawberry wine spritzer.
We think your “We the People” bit is
cute, though. We’d like to just sweep you up
into our arms and keep you sheltered and
safe and back in your Government 101 class,
but, sadly “we the people” have no control
over the Bush administration’s power: big
business calls all the shots. The Iraq war was
decided on a golf course, not in a CIA con-
trol room.
But, here’s the looming question, Rus-
nak: Would you be interested in wrestling
Ravenel in Jello at Uncle Louie’s, if Rick
Quinn backs out?
Columbia City Paper
News citypaper June 21, 2006 
 News citypaper June 7, 2006
Uncovering Project Censored
By Kevin Uhrich
There once was a time when you
couldn’t trust anyone over 30. Today,
some are wondering if that isn’t true
of Project Censored.
If there has been one fixture in
an industry that’s on a never-ending
quest for the next great idea, it’s been
Project Censored, the brainchild of a
university professor who combined
academic research techniques with
some standard journalistic practices
to dig out stories that Americans
didn’t hear or read much about in the
popular media.
When Professor Carl Jensen
started the Project as a 400-level
course through Sonoma State
University’s sociology department 30
years ago, alternative newspapers
— many of them in their infancies
with young writers hungry to shake
up the system — devoured the muck
that Jensen and his team of student
researchers raked up and dished out
each year.
Tainted baby food and banned
pesticides being sold by greedy
American corporations to Third World
countries and the influence of the
Trilateral Commission on the Carter
administration were hot topics in the
early years of Project Censored.
In the Reagan era, exposés on
government-backed death squads
in El Salvador’s civil war, the equally
bloody and not-so-secret war against
Nicaragua’s Sandinista government
by the CIA-backed Contras, and U.S.
and European countries using African
nations as toxic ashtrays were some
of the stories people didn’t know
much about; that is until reading
them in alternative papers like The
Village Voice, the San Francisco Bay
Guardian and the LA Weekly.
For nearly a quarter-century, most
of the stories published by Project
Censored went mostly unquestioned,
if also largely unnoticed by most
consumers of mainstream news.
But over the past six years, the
playing fields in both journalism and
politics have changed dramatically.
For starters, mainstream news is now
mostly controlled by giant corporations
like never before. For its part, the
federal government has been literally
buying good press by co-opting real
journalists to write and broadcast the
equivalent of press releases for Bush damage to the its overall credibility. week, as far as I’m concerned.”
administration policies and to pass off “It’s fair to say it’s predictably “My problem with Project
as “real” news. And as that happens, left in the same way that the Weekly Censored was a minor one, which
daily mainstream newspapers are was in its early years,” said Michael they knew about, and that was they
being swallowed up by bigger news Sigman, who served as publisher of did national and international stories
companies and transforming into little the LA Weekly from 1984 to 2002. rather than domestic or local stories as
more than advertising vehicles with Sigman is not a critic and didn’t really much as they should. But, to deal with
that, when we run Project Censored,
we do local censored stories and we
“The independent press is moving in check around with various activists
in the various categories — media,
the wrong direction; driving mainstream environmental, consumer, political,
etc. — then we do the stories that
media away from, not toward, the big the local media don’t properly cover,”
Brugmann said. “That’s makes a
stories being broken in the independent much fuller package and covers any
of the holes that I’ve seen.”
and alternative press.” Author and veteran Los Angeles
journalist Marc Cooper, also a past
no traction for hard news. have an opinion on the overall worth Project Censored award winner,
Because of the perceived extreme of the Project. “The thing I remember has possessed one of the country’s
left-leaning bent that editors with the most,” he said of Project pieces, most important voices of the political
Project Censored have assumed over “is that [Bay Guardian Editor and left over the past 25 years. Now an
the years aren’t so sure anymore if Publisher] Bruce Brugmann, who editor and columnist with the LA
the information being offered is really is one of the more unquestioning Weekly, Cooper has written books
censored, if the information being people on the left, would just run it. and articles for magazines such as
reported is actually correct, and if That pretty much says it all.” The Nation, The New Yorker, Rolling
Project Censored is still relevant, at Brugmann, a bearded and white- Stone and The Atlantic Monthly. He’s
least from a journalistic perspective. haired bear of a man, started the presently writing an article for The
Bay Guardian 40 years ago and is Atlantic on left and right influences on
Friends and foes regarded by many in the industry, the media.
such as Sigman, to be a “larger than These days, Cooper’s own politics
While the Project has attracted life” pioneer of the alternative press. have hardened somewhat, and his
its share of criticism over the years, “It’s needed now more than ever, opinions on many issues that are dear
it definitely has its supporters, some with the accelerating concentration to the left seem to be moving closer
from unlikely places, like columnist and closer to the political center. But
Molly Ivins who wrote a rare piece for Cooper the fact remains: Project
praising the Project that appeared Censored always did and probably
recently in the Chicago Tribune, and always will lean to the left, just as it is
Bryce Nelson, a University of Southern a remote possibility that researchers
Califonria journalism professor and and writers with the Project have really
former reporter for the Los Angeles uncovered any information in recent
Times. years that was actually censored.
Nelson spent most of his career “Really, there are very few
in the mainstream press, but believes stories in American journalism that
Marc Cooper
Project Censored is actually a “very get censored. There are stories that
useful” thing for readers, partially of the press, and the one-newspaper get underplayed, that don’t get the
because the mainstream press has town turning into the one-newspaper attention that they should, but cases
a lion’s share of failures and built-in region,” said Brugmann, a past of stories being censored are few and
biases. Project Censored award winner. “The far between,” Cooper said.
Project Censored, Nelson said, thing that really works for me is very “Even before the Internet boon,
“provides the reader a reminder [or few daily papers ever run it. They Project Censored celebrated these
alert] of stories that the public could are embarrassed to run it. And here stories, when in fact there is nothing
have noted. Much of the press has a we are, in the middle of the Bush to celebrate,” said Cooper, who, like
centrist bias, so any list, whether it’s administration, with stenographers in Nelson, teaches journalism at USC.
left-wing, right-wing or just far out, the mainstream press working away “It’s not great news that the
can do a useful service in provoking at top speed to take us into the war East Bay Express or some other
consideration of other stories.” and to keep the pressure down … publication covered the story. What
But for Project Censored critics, there’s even more reason for a Project is more relevant is that the story was
it has been the Project’s perceived Censored,” Brugmann said. “They not covered” by anyone, alternative or
leftward lean that has done the most ought to do a censored story every mainstream, he said. “To the degree
6 News
that these stories are not covered,
to the extent that these stories are
quote unquote censored, what is
there to celebrate about that?”
Plenty, said Peter Phillips, a
sociology professor at Sonoma
State who took the project’s reins
after Jensen’s retirement a few years
back. To say there isn’t censorship
in American media is denying the
reality of our times,which has seen
not only an explosion of information
availability by virtue of the Internet
alone but also increasing corporate
and government control of the means
of delivering those messages.
“We get accused of liberal bias
all the time, but that is simply not the
case,” Phillips said. “It’s certainly not
the case relative to the Republicans
and Democrats. I think we have a
bias in terms of free press, freedom
of information and the public’s right
to know. Yeah, we are very biased in
that regard. That’s what we advocate
for.”
Cracks in the armor
Darts and laurels for Project
Censored have come from a variety
of quarters over the years, with much
of the recent criticism emanating
from writers with the Village Voice
Media empire, among them the
particularly acerbic Matt Palmquist of
the SF Weekly, a bitter business and
ideological enemy of Brugmann’s
very proudly left Bay Guardian.
In a piece that appeared in
the SF Weekly in 2002, Palmquist
complained that Project Censored
had become “a hallowed fixture of
the alternative press,” as predictable
as any mainstream newspaper. And
at the former New Times chain, an
often-used phrase is, “Be predictably
unpredictable,” which they contend
Project Censored is not.
Of that year’s top 10 under-
covered stories, nine, Palmquist
wrote, had already received
prominent coverage by mainstream
institutions like The New York Times.
Even Mother Jones magazine, “a
bastion of the left,” he continued,
“has slammed Project Censored.”
They were correct about that.
Brooke Shelby Biggs two years prior
to their column asked in Mother
Jones, “Will Project Censored please
go away?” Apparently not one to
hold back, Biggs called the student-
run project a “sacred cow” of the left
that has become “predictable and
boring,” not to mention “irrelevant,
laughable, and cheesy.”
Today, even the popular
online encyclopedia Wikipedia
acknowledges criticisms of the
Project, writing that although it never
explicitly takes a political stance,
“Almost every story that Project
Censored highlights has a leftist
political slant, with stories criticizing
The corporate media is the only way
to communicate, and the corporate
media is not going to like our stories,
and the reason why they don’t like
them is because of politics and so
they are going to censor them
big business, economic inequality,
damage to the environment, war
and the armed forces, and evildoing
by rightist politicians, among other
leftist ‘hot-button’ issues,” the entry
states.
Further, states Wikipedia, “The
group periodically is criticized for
shoddy reporting or misrepresentation
of facts, the same fallacies the group
itself claims to battle. Occasionally
these claims come from other leftist
publications that are concerned that
the Project’s alleged misreporting
will give an already fragile news
development even less credibility. It
is also at times criticized for reporting
on stories which are arguably not
‘under-reported’ or ‘censored’ at
all.”
These are clearly very well-known
perceptions these days. But prior to
all that, in 2000, Project Censored
enjoyed an almost unquestioned
presence in the alternative news
world. That is until Don Hazen,
executive director of the AlterNet
news Web site, openly criticized the
Project Censored awards in an April
1 column.
In scathing published responses
to Hazen, who is also executive
director of the San Francisco-
based Independent Media Institute,
Brugmann strenuously defended
the Project and some of its reporters
and editors, some of whom were
singled out for criticism by Hazen in
subsequent posts.
The ensuing series of articles
opened the door for what little
substantive criticism that the project
had actually weathered over the
years.
At the heart of the issue for
Hazen, as Dan Kennedy of the Boston
Phoenix explained at the time, was
the selection of a story by Diana
Johnstone, the former European
editor of the leftist magazine In These
Times, which argued in less than
1,000 words that the Kosovo crisis
had been manufactured by NATO in
order to build a pipeline to carry oil
from the Caspian Sea through the
Balkans.
The article, which consisted mainly
of quotes from the Washington Post
and the Paris-based International
Herald Tribune, didn’t substantiate
any of its findings, but nonetheless
went on to be chosen for a Project
Censored award that year.
To Kennedy, the selection of
Johnstone’s piece “says something
important about why much of the
progressive press does, indeed, find
itself marginalized, unable to get its
message out into the mainstream.”
“And the ensuing battle over
Project Censored itself,” Kennedy
went on, “says a lot about the
differences between the liberal left,
which remains optimistic about the
possibility of transforming the culture,
and the radical left, which has grown
as paranoid and conspiratorial as,
say, Pat Buchanan or Alan Keyes.”
With entries like Johnstone’s
winning major kudos, the independent
press is moving in the wrong
direction; driving mainstream media
away from, not toward, the big stories
being broken in the independent and
alternative press, Hazen argued.
Hazen, whose AlterNet site no
longer sells stories and does not pick
up the Project Censored annual list
of winners, said he thinks that “the
Project Censored notion is stale,
because it plays into this victimization
thing.”
“ ‘The corporate media is the
only way to communicate, and the
corporate media is not going to like
our stories, and the reason why they
don’t like them is because of politics
and so they are going to censor
citypaper June 21, 2006
them and we are going to take
those stories’,” Hazen said, detailing
how he envisions the Project’s
story selection process. “ ‘And, no
matter if they are good or mediocre
or whatever, we are going to award
them and celebrate them’.”
Hazen contends that they should
be trying to get those stories out
to mainstream audiences. “I mean,
that would be a celebration. But to
celebrate the ones that nobody ever
reads is like a celebration of failure.”
Peter Phillips, the sociology
professor from Sonoma State
thinks that if there are any failures
in relation to Project Censored they
lay in allowing the corporate media
to set the parameters of what is
and what isn’t considered news;
opting for easy, lengthy and empty
entertainment pieces at the expense
of telling real news stories that people
should know about, but might pose a
threat to a government institution or
a corporate interest.
“There’s probably bias relative to
corporate power versus human rights,
but that’s the tradition of journalism,
that’s what journalists have done
at least since the Progressive
Movement,” said Phillips, referring to
a time when, he said, reporters “put a
mirror up to the rich and powerful.”
Today, Phillips continued, “...
corporate media have become ‘the
powerful’ themselves, and there is
this loss of diversity of news sources
around. Corporations are interlocked
with the corporate media so strongly,
there are no longer journalists of [a]
tradition that look at inequality and
are finding their own issues along
those lines.”
‘Very predictable’
Hazen said he doesn’t doubt
that censorship is real and at work in
the American media. “I’ve observed
Project Censored for years, decades,
and some of the stories that they cite
you probably could make a case they
may have been censored in some
form. But what you might wonder:
Was the story written very well? Does
it make the case very well? Is it so
obscure that no one really wants it?
Could they have done it better? The
article is incredibly important and we
have to figure out a way to get it out
there. So it’s kind of a defeatist kind
of thing, and over the years people
began to think they were really doing
well to get a Project Censored award
when, in fact, it’s all been failure. It’s
been our inability to get big audiences
for important information in those
articles.”
News citypaper June 21, 2006 7
Not surprisingly, Phillips, who
recently returned with members of
his class and others involved with
the Project from an international
investigative journalism conference
in Copenhagen, believes just the
opposite, and for good reason.
One of three stories profiled
by Project Censored, Phillips said,
is eventually picked up by the
mainstream. Yes, the number of
alternative papers running the list
has dwindled over the years to just a
few dozen, among them Brugmann’s
Bay Guardian, but there are “between
20,000 and 50,000 hits” on the
Project’s Web site each day, said
Phillips, so it’s clear someone is
reading the material being posted.
And it’s not as though the Project
is getting any smaller. Today there
are 30 students, 50 interns and a
dozen researchers working on 100
possible stories, or projects. Having
grown from the press release that
Jensen issued in the first few years,
Phillips told Chicago-based author
and public radio commentator Bob
McChesney recently, the Project was
compiled into a book 15 years ago,
which this year tops out at 430 pages
— the largest edition ever. The final 25
censored stories are ranked in order
of significance by a national panel of
members of the media, authors and
educators.
Phillips remains convinced that
“there is a deliberate effort at the
Bruce Brugmann
highest levels now of corporate
media, and particularly the ideological
people on the neoconservative side
of the fence. … They really do want
to control media in this country and
they really are spending a whole lot
of money to spin news stories.”
And he bristles when he hears that
some believe the Project predictable.
“I don’t know where they ever get
the idea that anything could be
predictable with Project Censored.
It’s just too big.”
One sign that the Project’s reports
are finally finding their way into the
mainstream is a recent column in the
Chicago Tribune by Molly Ivins, who
cited the Project’s top 10 stories in
calling for a Media Accountability
Day.
“I have long been persuaded
that the news media collectively will
be sent to hell not for our sins of
commission, but our sins of omission.
The real scandal in the media is not
bias, it is laziness. Laziness and bad
news judgment,” Ivins wrote. “Our
failure is what we miss, what we fail
to cover, what we let slip by, what
we don’t give enough attention to —
because, after all, we have to cover
Jennifer and Brad, and Scott and
Laci, and Whosit who disappeared in
Aruba without whom the world can
scarce carry on.”
Phillips can attest to that disturbing
fact of modern life after recently
attending the journalism conference
in Denmark, where top editors of
mainstream European newspapers
said stories about Africa don’t sell,
unless, of course, they include photos
of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie visiting
there, validating Phillips’ contention
that much of what passes for news
these days is really just conscience-
numbing entertainment.
“Happily,” Ivins continued
in her column, one of the few
acknowledgements of the Project
in major mainstream newspapers,
“the perfect news peg, as we say
in the biz, for Media Accountability
Day already exists — it’s Project
Censored’s annual release of the 10
biggest stories ignored or under-
covered by mainstream media. … Of
course, the stories are not actually
‘censored’ by any authority, but they
do not receive enough attention to
enter the public’s consciousness,
usually because corporate media
tend to under-report stories about
corporate misdeeds and government
abuses.”
Brugmann agreed and offered a
suggestion to those editors who may
not want to use the Project’s annual
list of stories.
“There is no doubt that Project
Censored is needed, and if anybody
doesn’t like and they don’t think it’s
needed, they should do their own
[list] and run that at the same time.
They should do their own stories, in
their city, in their region, in their state,
or even nationally.”
Project Censored, Brugmann
continued, helps dramatize the fact
that “there are enormous problems
with media concentration, there
are enormous problems with the
Washington Beltway press corps,
there’re enormous problems with
the way [mainstream media] handled
the Bush administration and the war,
there are enormous problems with
the media.”
letters@columbiacitypaper.com
8 citypaper June 21, 2006

THE GOOD FIGHT

Safe Until January
erful child rapist lobby and said, “Enough is General Assembly gave a damn about our there is little reason to suspect that it will,
enough!” Not that we have had a rash of se- kids, South Carolina wouldn’t rank 42nd in but like a troop of Boy Scouts on a backyard
rial rapists of children under the age of 11 the nation in overall well-being of its children, camp-out, our legislators are prepared.
The legislative session ends, — or that we have had even one, that I am as determined by the annual Kids Count Finally, there is the “property tax relief
but not soon enough aware of. But when that one occurs, by God, Survey. We wouldn’t have the fourth-high- act.” Designed primarily to lower property
we’ll be ready! est rate of low birth-weight babies in the na- taxes for wealthy coastal homeowners, the
| BY WILL MOREDOCK Never mind that the law is probably un- tion and 23 percent of our children wouldn’t law replaces lost revenues by raising the
constitutional. (South Carolinians famously live in poverty. If our legislators cared about sales tax on everybody else by two percent,
have little regard for the Constitution.) The children, we wouldn’t have the worst SAT giving South Carolina one of the most re-
The late Sol Blatt — who was speaker of
U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that the death scores in the nation and we wouldn’t rank gressive tax structures in the nation. (As a
the state House of Representatives almost
penalty, employed to punish non homicidal 47th in the percentage of high school gradu- bone to the poor, the lawmakers thoughtfully
as long as Strom Thurmond was in the U.S.
crimes, constitutes cruel and unusual pun- ates or have the 11th highest percentage of lowered the sales tax on groceries from five
Senate — liked to quote his father as saying,
ishment. teen smokers. percent to three percent, forgetting that poor
“No man is safe in his person or his property
Our state’s top lawyer, Attorney General No, this law has nothing to do with pro- people also wear clothes, drive cars and
as long as the legislature is in session.”
Henry McMaster, might have cautioned the tecting children. This is an anti-sex law, just consume a host of other goods and services
Well, we can relax. The General As-
zealous lawmakers that they were tread- like the bill introduced by Rep. Ralph Dav- that will now cost more.)
sembly has done all the damage it can and
ing on thin legal ice. But McMaster was out enport (R-Spartanburg) to outlaw sex toys Will the higher sales tax offset the re-
gone home to make new mischief. A number
front, leading the bandwagon, intoning pi- in this Bible-thumping province; just like the duced property tax? Maybe, maybe not. But
of bills and acts came out of the legislative
ously and pompously, “This is a great step proposed constitutional amendment to ban it doesn’t seem too important, because the
session that I could probably write whole
forward that will send a message loud and gay marriage; just like dozens of other laws law was carefully drawn to stipulate that the
columns about, but I will focus on three and
clear that that kind of conduct is not tolerat- over the years whose purpose it was to cod- property tax “relief” comes out of that por-
hope to make my point. And, as always, that
ed in South Carolina. We have stepped into ify who may have sex with whom, in what tion of the tax that goes to fund school op-
point is that this poor old state is stuck with
the forefront of those states recognizing the position, and under what circumstances. Be erations. So if the new tax structure doesn’t
two wheels in the ditch because we keep
threat of sexual predators.” assured, if God doesn’t punish your sins, the work, well, what the heck. It’s only education
electing the same sorry people, who keep
It’s a good thing we are in the forefront State of South Carolina will. anyway.
making the same bad policy, generation af-
of something, for South Carolina is certainly The General Assembly gave us another So there you have it: It’s been a busy
ter generation.
not in the forefront of providing a safe and solution in search of a problem, this one in year for our General Assembly. And they will
Let’s start with our brand-new law au-
livable environment for our children. What the form of a law making it a crime to pro- be back to serve us again in January.
thorizing the death penalty for serial child
masks itself as a child-protection law has test within 1,000 feet of a funeral. Nothing
rapists. Yes, our solons stood up to the pow-
nothing to do with protecting children. If the like that has happened in South Carolina and letters@columbiacitypaper.com

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10 Viewpoints citypaper June 21, 2006
REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK
Mosquito Politics
BY CHRIS McCARTER
Exploring the Washington theory that
bugs are worse than bullets.
WASHINGTON, DC – A return visit to
this city where I spent a decade covering
the halls of government included a visit
to the National Press Club for a speech
by Laura Bush on the President’s Ma-
laria Initiative (PMI) on June 8.
The first lady, flanked by a burly Secret
“Today, malaria is the number one kill-
er of children in Africa, and more than
a million people around the world die
of its effects each year” - Laura Bush
Service detail, said that Malawi, Mozam-
bique, Rwanda and Senegal have been
added to the list of countries chosen
for a $1.2 billion, five-year initiative to
control malaria in Africa, with the goal of
reducing malaria deaths by half in each
targeted country through interventions
in the most vulnerable populations, ad-
ministered through the U.S. Agency for
International Development (USAID).
“Today, malaria is the number one killer
of children in Africa, and more than a
million people around the world die of its
effects each year,” said the first lady.
To my chagrin, Mrs. Bush took no ques-
tions.
But here’s what I would have liked to
ask: While malaria undoubtedly is a
severe health problem in Africa that
needs attention, it is AIDS and famine
that needs funding attention and high-
profile press events. With those prob-
lems towering the many ills that affect
Africa, why spend $1.2 billion on ma-
laria, which, scientific research shows,
is more prevalent among light-skinned
individuals?
Mrs. Bush probably would have pointed
out that U.S. contributions to fight AIDS
in Africa are not insignificant, and are
also administered through USAID.
But she would be sure to neglect to
mention that under her husband’s pol-
icy, funds to Africa for AIDS preven-
tion have a proviso attached: Money is
only meted out to those countries that
pledge to make “abstinence” the pri-
mary component of their anti-AIDS ef-
forts, only those that play down the use
of condoms and promotion of safe sex.
Thus, while Kenya – which focuses its
AIDS fight on distributing hundreds of
thousands of condoms and has the
continent’s most successful program
of reversing the scourge of AIDS – gets
relatively little U.S. money for AIDS pre-
vention.
South Africa, by contrast, which focus-
es on a sadly-misguided policy focus-
ing on abstinence, with little attention
to condoms or safe sex, gets more US
money.
It has the continent’s fastest growing
AIDS rate.
But Mrs. Bush didn’t say anything about
that.
And sitting at the front table with Mrs.
Bush was Paul Wolfowitz, former aide
to Presidents Reagan, Bush Sr. and GW,
and now president of the World Bank.
Wolfowitz more than any single advi-
sor is responsible for a major paradigm
shift in American foreign policy, from a
strategy of containment – encouraging
stability in foreign nations and keeping
perceived threats at bay within their
own borders – to the current American
foreign policy, “pre-emptive interven-
tion.”
The “pre-emptive intervention” doctrine
basically states that America should
intervene in any country, anywhere, if
there’s the slightest perceived threat
now -- or a possible threat anytime in
the foreseeable future. “Intervention”
often means diplomacy and covert
methods such as the use of U.S. “advis-
ers” to indigenous forces, intelligence,
counter-intelligence, counter-counter-
intelligence, social/psychological war-
fare and other means of achieving po-
litical objectives with a minimum of use
of force.
But under today’s U.S. foreign policy,
when those methods fail, deployment
of U.S. troops is not a last resort, but
one seriously considered early on, as
soon as we see the satellite pictures of
tubes that look like they could be used
for centrifuges to enrich uranium, to site
just one random example.
Wolfowitz left Bush’s inner circle cabinet
position of Deputy Secretary of Defense
after a career of sending thousands to
their graves, friends and foes, to head
the World Bank. He’s allegedly beaten
his sword into a plowshare.
And he’s now primarily concerned that
the world’s poorest nations repay their
debts to their industrialized western in-
vestors.
We would have also liked to pose a
question to Wolfowitz, but he took
none. He just slumped quietly in a lump
like Jabba the Hut, munching the Press
Club’s signature Caesar salad like some
evil, unholy cow chewing cud.
We would have asked whether, while
providing malaria aid, the US govern-
ment planned to spend money on
peacekeeping and mine removal in Mo-
zambique, Rwanda, Uganda and An-
gola, all of which have suffered vicious
wars fueled by arms from the United
States and the former Soviet Bloc.
And since we’ve just added Senegal to
the PMI, why not talk about the Sen-
egalese government’s recent policy of
forced repatriation of refugees – oops,
USAID’s handout calls such people
“displaced persons,” which makes their
sound a lot more comfortable – who
tried to escape to the Canary Islands
from hunger and the continent’s highest
unemployment rate.
And as for Rwanda, still recovering from
genocide and lingering intertribal ha-
tred and vengeance, along with border
crossing and skirmishes with neigh-
boring Congo, it would be interesting
to ask, “Given all this, is malaria at the
forefront of these people’s minds?”
In an appearance just the previous day
at the Department of State, Wolfowitz
told an audience at the African Growth
and Opportunity Act Investment Sum-
mit that despite a million Hutus and Tut-
sis killed in 100 days a decade ago in a
machete-wielding genocidal, inter-tribal
war of counter-vengeance, the country
In affiliation with Wayne Freeman Agency, LLC
was doing great.
With its current annual 10 percent eco-
nomic growth rate, “Rwanda is amaz-
ing,” Wolfowitz said, calling the little Af-
rican nation “a success story.”
I missed that speech. But had he taken
questions, I probably would have asked,
“Mr. Secretary, wouldn’t one assume
that when a substantial proportion of a
small nation’s population is hacked to
death and its infrastructure is ripped
apart in less than three months, its
economic growth in subsequent years
would be comparatively robust?”
Then I would have to have asked a fol-
low-up: “Where was the policy of ‘pre-
emptive intervention’ when Rwanda
was being sliced apart? Oh, wait, I for-
got. There’s no oil there.”
And at that point, State Department’s
press department would have sliced up
my State Department press pass, like a
clerk at Sachs Fifth Avenue cutting up
an overdrawn credit card.
letters@columbiacitypaper.com
Chris McCarter recently accepted a high
profile job in Washington, D.C. but he
just won’t stop writing for us. McCarter
is also leaving his Senior Writing gig at
Greenville’s Metro Beat. The Metro Beat
was accepted into the Association of
Alternative Newsweeklies last week
due, in part, to his major contributions
as a ventran investigative journalist.
Statehouse Report citypaper June 21, 2006 11

SC STATEHOUSE REPORT
It’s frozen drink time on
Education to be key our outside patio
election issue – again
By Andy Brack system is low, which makes it hard to get
statehousereport.com business leaders and others to push for
real change.
If you sit around a table with a bunch
• No plan. If pressed, business
of business leaders and talk about public
leaders also will tell you they feel there’s
education in South Carolina, it’s pretty clear
no overall plan for education – that every
pretty quickly they think more needs to be
four or eight years, a governor changes
done.
and new ideas rise to the top. But while
They’ll say it’s not the problem of
one or two new programs or tactic may be
students, who show they can achieve if
added, there’s no real long-term plan for
challenged. They’ll discuss how it’s not the
education that addresses core concerns.
problem of teachers, who show up for work
And without a plan, there’s not much to
motivated to help students despite relatively
rouse the business community, parents,

801 Harden Street

low pay. They’ll even say it may not be the
educators and politicians to create real
problem of administrators, who seem to be
zeal for making South Carolina’s public
doing the best they can with what they’ve

803-771-7363
education system much better.
got.
They also highlight some great
With this being said, another event of
components the system has in place that
seem to be moving it forward: tough,
nationally-recognized teaching standards
the past week – the recent primary elections
– shows education again will rise to the top The only Daiquiri Bar in Columbia!
as a major campaign issue.
and a stringent assessment structure that is
On one side will be Democrats who
providing school leaders with the information
criticize Gov. Mark Sanford and his supporters
they need to make schools and teaching
for abandoning public education with school
better.
voucher plans that would erode public and
Just this week, Furman University
financial support from the system. On the
had another series of small meetings with
other side will be proponents for radical
business leaders to learn about public
change who say the current system is failing
education’s strengths, weaknesses and
and something major, such as vouchers,
possible solutions. It’s part of an ongoing
needs to happen to make things work.
non-partisan project the school’s Riley
While the campaign season surely will
Institute is doing to get to the bottom about
be hot and heavy on education, what is
what South Carolinians really think about
worrisome is that business leaders, parents,
public education.
voters and educators may see these political
What we heard in the Institute’s 88th
outcries as simply the same old politicking.
meeting this week was the blanketing
Yes, something needs to change in public
concern that broad institutional challenges
education. At the Riley Institute meeting
keep South Carolina’s public education
I attended, business leaders seemed to
system mired at the bottom:
agree that the best things that could happen
would be for someone in a state leadership
• Low expectations. Business
position to really grab the bull by the horns
leaders said a lot of parents and taxpayers
and provide a long-term strategy for getting
seemed to have relatively low expectations
South Carolina public education out of the
for the public school system – that they
cellar. What’s been done so far to improve
don’t really expect it to perform because it
things has been good, but it’s been change
hasn’t done that good a job overall.
at the edges, not the core.
Bottom line: We may not need a new
• Low parental involvement. They’re
idea, such as school vouchers, to meddle
frustrated that many South Carolina
with the system. What we seem to need is
parents don’t get integrally involved with
a real plan. And yes (gasp) it may cost more
their children’s education, which illustrates
money to fix the system that’s been plagued
to children that working hard to achieve in
by a funding hangover for decades.
school isn’t important.
One thing is for sure: When the Riley
Institute issues its final report on the results
• Low commitment from politicians.
of all of these meetings with education
Despite politicians who say they’re fixing
stakeholders, legislators and those in
public education, people don’t see a lot of
education leadership ought to stop, look and
changes. Instead they see folks pandering
listen.
empty rhetoric.
letters@columbiacitypaper.com
• Low passion. They say public
passion for a top-notch public school
12 Zip Code Crime Watch citypaper June 21, 2006

Mr. Meaner’s

CRIME
WAT C H
The people involved in these
events are innocent until proven
guilty. The accounts come
directly from police reports.
This is not a court of law.

29061
A drunken man was arrested for wandering
around the roadway and disrupting traffic.
Playing in the road is one thing, but playing
in the road drunk is just as bad as messing
with an opossum. Fun Fact: Kafka’s favorite
word was “traffic,” though he said it always
brought to mind a sexual connotation, 4800
block Garner’s Ferry Road

29164
You might wonder why no auto break-ins
appear in the Columbia City Paper Crime
Watch section. Simple answer: They’re
BORING. But here’s one just for grins, you
know… it was a slow crime week with all
this heat: A 33-year-old man told police
his window was smashed and his ignition
was “ripped up.” The damage amount was
approximately $300. See, booooring, 1200
block 1st Street South Extension
29201
Police said three suspects refused to show
their IDs and pay a cover charge at a Vista
nightclub, according to the manager. Police
said the suspects became “very loud and
boisterous,” were “cursing, drawing attention
to the scene” and basically actin’ ‘da fool.
After repeated attempts by police to calm
the three musketeers down, it finally took a
disorderly conduct charge on one 21-year-
old white guy to cage the beast, 800 block
Gervais Street
29201
A 49-year-old Columbia hobo was booked
and taken to jail this week for having slurred
speech, smelling like daddy’s cough medicine
and being “very unsteady on his feet.” In cop
talk, that means this bum was plumb drunk,
500 block Gervais Street
29201
Police said $200 in damage was done to park
materials after a graffiti artist spray-painted
them. No word yet on whether the damage
amount should be higher since the graffiti
was probably done by some local “toy.”
That’s graffiti artist speak for a “wannabe
painter,” 100 block Springway Drive
29201
A 51-year-old white guy said he fell asleep
in Finlay Park with his backpack beside him
but when he woke up the backpack was
gone. The man said he had clothes, $50, and
a medicine bottle of antidepressants in the
bag, so his week might get a little more blue,
900 block Taylor Street
29201
Police responded to a fight to find that
the “altercation was mutual.” The twist is
that one of them was drunk and so he got
arrested. Waaaah, 2500 block Carrol Drive
29201
Police found a 48-year-old white man
suspected of shoplifting from Publix, hiding
in the bushes near the store. He was told by
members of the police force to stop, but, uh,
he didn’t, so they chased him down and sent
him to the hoosegow, 500 block Lady Street
29201
Okay, if you don’t have a driver license…
don’t drive. But if you HAVE to drive, don’t
drive like an asshole. If you HAVE to drive
like an asshole… please don’t get into any
accidents. Well, that’s exactly what this
yahoo did this week getting him thrown in
jail, 900 block Elmwood
29201
Don’t act crazy at a party unless you want
the police to come and shake you down for
drunkenness, like what happened to this 34-
year-old boozer who was allegedly swearing,
yelling, and horsing around just a little bit too
much for the justice system to handle, 2500
block Carrol Street
29201
After being told that his “quality of work
was very poor,” on a construction site, a
man became enraged and started a verbal
altercation. The man then grabbed a claw
hammer and tried to get the guy who said it
to fight him. At that point the 5-0 were called,
100 block Canal Place
29201
A man, who is NOT homeless according to
the police report, was arrested for “loitering
for the purpose of begging,” this week. Police
said the man was “aggressively begging for
money.” So this is how bad the economy is?
900 block Elmwood Avenue
29201
Suspicious Death: Someone requested an
officer to meet with the coroner’s office in
regards to the death of an infant this week.
No jokes here, 3200 block Lucious Road
29201
An 18-year-old man was found boozing
it up at Jungle Jim’s this week and field
booked for possession of beer under 21.
The reporting officer said the suspect looked
“visibly young,” and when asked to show ID
said he didn’t have one. Once outside, the
kid coughed up an SCDL that read he was
only 18. He got a ticket and a sad story to tell
his grandkids, 700 block Harden Street
29203
In a very professionally typed and succinct
police report, a 22-year-old woman used
offensive language and then shoved
someone. Disorderly conduct and simple
assault appear in the “incident type” box.
Fun stuff, 5400 block Forest Drive
29203
A 38-year-old woman said she was in a
verbal altercation with another person, which
resulted in her being struck in the face.
Happy times, 2800 block Park Street
29203
A man called the police to say that someone
had spray pained the letters “A G G” in black
pain on his white wooden fence. We could
speculate what the message means but we
are not cryptologists, nor are we supposed to
print offensive material, 4300 block Eauclid
Avenue
29204
A drunken redneck slammed a door into
the face of his girlfriend and then grabbed
her arm and threw her to the kitchen floor.
Sounds like a Jeff Foxworthy joke…or just
a really sick dude, 2100 block Barhamville
Road
29204
With all this heat, the wife-beating rednecks
really start to come out of the woodwork. Take
a look at this fine middle-aged specimen:
Guy grabs his girlfriend around the neck and
Zip Code Crime Watch
chokes her out, forces her to the ground and
then slams the back of her head into the
floor. Classic, 1500 block Garden Place
29204
A woman told police that her husband struck
her in the head causing her “discomfort and
pain.” The woman plans to prosecute and,
well, that’s a good thing, 3400 block Truman
Street
29204
A 71-year-old woman told police someone
shot up her house. The bullets smashed
the glass windows of her house and ripped
through her porch. Neither the woman nor
the neighbors said they heard gunshots and
police said the never found any shell casings
or bullets around the scene. This leaves
members of the police force speculating the
damage was caused by a BB or pellet gun,
3500 block Truman Street
29206
After a verbal argument, a man told police
someone stole his car. What’s worse, the car
thief called the man back and said he was
going to shoot him if he called the police.
Well, we’re not psychic over here so we had
to get this information from some place. Still
waiting on the shooting though, 5400 block
Forest Drive
29206
A woman walked into the police station to fill
out a report in reference to “missing money
citypaper June 21, 2006 13
3 For Free
at Burger King.” The woman was not offered
fries or a soft drink with her report but did not
seem offended, Forest Drive
29206
Oh, summertime: Police were called when
a person reported a bike was stolen from
1st year Anniversary Sale
behind their house, 1300 block Kathwood
Drive
29209
An officer said he watched a man drive up
to a fence near a school, get out of the car,
walk to the fence and then get back in the
car and drive away. The officer took a drug 1 FREE Solid Cotton Cover
2 FREE no-slip pad
dog over to the area and guess what he
found? “Three lunch baggies filled with a
green leafy substance,” he said. Too bad we
never had any delivery service like that when
I was in school, 7700 block Caughman Road 3 FREE Delivery
(Caughman Elementary School) (Columbia area with futon purchase of $250 or more)
29209
You always hear stories about people driving
off with the gas nozzle still in the tank of the
car. Ever wonder what happens to them?
They get charged with “Disorderly conduct,”
in Columbia apparently as this police report
reads.
29209
A woman told police that while walking her
dog another dog attacked hers without
provocation. The dog appeared to be a
husky/rottweiler mix and would not return
calls by press time, 4600 block Ft. Jackson
Blvd/
29209
A person died an accidental death in a house
803-988-0662
fire this week as reported by the Columbia
Police Department, 1000 block Wordsworth
743 Saluda Avenue, Five Points.
Drive 90 days same as cash with approved credit! M-S 10am-6pm Closed Sunday.
29210
A store clerk told police that a man came into
the store, put on a pair of $65 K-Swiss shoes
and then promptly walked out, 400 block The Artists’ Basement has a unique artist showing
this Friday, June 23rd from 7-10pm.
Bush River Road
Refreshments will be served.
29210
A 29-year-old woman told police that she
was at the zoo and when she came back
to her car she found someone had cut two
holes in her convertible top. Police did Vinh Van Glover & Hanh Van Glover
not say whether they would narrow their
investigation to primate, reptile or fungi, 500 Show runs 6/23- 7/15
block Wildlife Blvd.
Reception 6/23/06
29210
Police said a 22-year-old man had a “sleep
From 7-10pm
over party” and the next morning realized
his wallet was missing along with over $500. The Artists’ Basement
Those sleepovers sure aren’t what they were 2013 Devne Street
like 10 years ago, huh fellah? This is usually 803-727-7537
known as “The Michael Jackson Effect,” 500
block River Hill Road
29212
Oh, the old walk into the dressing room and
stuff clothes down your pants gag. Well this
week at Belk’s, a store employee complained
to police that $281 worth of clothing were
jacked just that same way, 100 Columbiana
Circle
29223
Police responded to a fight in progress and
said the fight was started over money. That’s
the answer to 99 out of 100 questions, you
know. Police said one of the subjects was hit
twice in the back on the head with a brick
and, uh, that sounds serious, 900 block
Rosedale Arch
14 Soundboard citypaper June 21, 2006

Thursday, June 22 122 State St., West Cola. Gotta Dream Music
Lucero W/ Sleep Police
New Brookland Tavern Murder By Death Jammin Java Jt And The Blame
122 State St., West Cola. Vedera 1530 Main St., Cola.
The Reverie Suzanne Brindamour Monday, July 3
Stock Market Crash Art Bar Stereopool New Brookland Tavern
White Rose Revival 1211 Park St., Cola. Judd and Maggie 122 State St., West Cola.
Hello Tomorrow Ryan Monroe Peter Bradley Adams Maladroit Mafia
The Stelle Group Christiane Szabo The Fad
Art Bar New York Disco Villians Bomb The Music Industry
1211 Park St., Cola. Monday, June 26 Texas Pete and
Super*Bike with Psychic Headliners The Revolution
Hearts and JuiceBox 700 Gervais St., Cola. Wild Wing Café
Almost Jason 1150 Bower Pkwy., Cola. Tuesday, July 4
Headliners The Suit Tokyo Joe Under the Covers Show with New Brookland Tavern
Tuesday, June 27 Madison Fair, The Reverie, and 122 State St., West Cola.
The Magazines at New Brookland Tavern Stiffler
New Brookland Tavern Saturday, July 1
122 State St., West Cola. Wednesday, July 5
Cities Apart Doors: 8pm, Tickets: $6 over 21, $8 under 21
Just R Luck Inspired by the mega successful annual New Years Eve New Brookland Tavern
Spara shows at New Brookland you can think of this show as 122 State St., West Cola.
Aubergine a summer fling to wet your appetite for fun. The Maga- Captured
zines will be performing as Against Me!, The Reverie as Adison Croft
Jammin Java Nirvana, and Madison Fair as The Police. Sounds like a
1530 Main St., Cola
Robinella good excuse to booze it up. Thursday, July 6
Dirty Dozen Brass Band at Chad Perrone 1530 Main St., Cola. The Reverie - Nirvana
Sarah Croker CD Release Magazines - Against Me! New Brookland Tavern
Headliners Thursday, June 22 Wednesday, June 28 122 State St., West Cola.
Doors: 9pm, Tickets: $10 advance/$12 day of show Friday, June 30 Art Bar Oldstate
The Dirty Dozen Brass Band’s roots date back over 30 New Brookland Tavern 1211 Park St., Cola. Of Good & Evil
years ago to 1972 in the cultural mecca of New Orleans. 122 State St., West Cola. New Brookland Tavern Alaska The Tiger Crazy Stallion
Melding R&B and jazz with traditional tunes the Dirty 5pm 122 State St., West Cola. Death Becomes Even A
Dozen can bring the party wherever they go. The band Charge The Mound 5:30pm Maiden
even appeared on Modest Mouse’s breakthrough al- The Fire The Flood Falling From The Sky Grey Egg Art Bar
bum, Good News for People Who Love Bad News. Brothers Protagonist The Slow Signal Fade 1211 Park St., Cola.
Spring Break 98 Fair Street The Rewinds with
See Him Through 9:30pm Perelandra and Munson
700 Gervais St., Cola. (formerly Barney’s Jive 10pm Midnight Train Sunday, July 2 Summers
Dirty Dozen Brass Band Band) The Stelle Group Madison Fair New Brookland Tavern
The Bamboons Hillside Manor 122 State St., West Cola. Jammin Java
Jammin Java Jammin Java Incredibly Decisive 1530 Main St., Cola.
1530 Main St., Cola. 1530 Main St., Cola. Thursday, June 29 Saturday, July 1 Hello Lefty Tony Gilkyson
Brett Dennen Brindley Brothers CD Rowdy I See Hawks in LA
Justin Trawick Release + Anthony and New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern Justin Petrey
Derrick Harris Patrick of The Echoes 122 State St., West Cola. 122 State St., West Cola. Torrie’s A Shaker
The Altaegos New Brookland Is The Edison Project
Friday, June 23 Wild Wing Café (CD RELEASE) Under The Covers W/
1150 Bower Pkwy., Cola. Ashline Madison Fair - The Police
Art Bar The Fossil Records
1211 Park St., Cola. Sunday, June 25
iPop! From 11pm to 2am, Art Bar
WUSC-DJ Peter Adolphson New Brookland Tavern 1211 Park St., Cola.
New Brookland Tavern 122 State St., West Cola. Falling Off A Building
122 State St., West Cola. Chasing Victory Snowden
The Distance Splendid, Splendid
New Brookland Tavern Testing Ground
122 State St., West Cola. Thank God Jammin Java
Eleven:54
Far From Clear Lucero & Murder By Death at
Voodoo Blue New Brookland Tavern
Pelvic Thrust
Saturday, June 24
Headliners Doors: 8pm, Tickets: $12 (791-4413)
700 Gervais St., Cola. There will surely be plenty of whiskey spilling Sat-
The Californias urday night as Lucero brings in the cigarette taint-
The Explorer’s Club ed vibes of their alt-country punk-rock southern-
rock assualt. Be prepared to hoist up your Pabst
Jammin Java Blue Ribbon and sing along. If you haven’t caught
1530 Main St., Cola. Indiana’s Jameson loving horror movie music in-
Brindley Brothers CD
Release + Shane Hines spired Murder By Death be prepared for the hang-
ing jaw effect. Sara Balliet will show you what
happens when a cellist listens to too much Iron
Saturday, June 24 Maiden and Adam Turla may have you wondering
when Johnny Cash walked in the door.
New Brookland Tavern
The Angry Whale citypaper June 21, 2006 15

INTERVIEW AND PHOTOGRAPHY

SEAN RAYFORD

Jacksonville’s Evergreen Terrace writes brutal AW: What’s the worst movie you’ve seen lately? Actually I don’t want to bang her I just want to date
metallic hardcore songs about The Big Lebowski, AW: What’s your favorite Atari game, Sega game, Andrew: X-Men 3 sucked so bad. They tried to cram her. There’s a lot porn stars that I would just want to
The Family Guy, and MySpace. They like to have Nintendo game, and arcade game? 10 years of comic books down to three hours. bang because I think they’re into the same kind of
fun so the Angry Whale decided to give them some Andrew: The one with the duck that went across Craig Chaney (interrupting): You want to do a shot? shit that I’m into. Like fisting and shit like that. If you
simple questions and let them swing for the fences. and you had to catch the eggs that he shit out and if Andrew: Ah man - I don’t know. Give me something get an actress I don’t think she’s into that unless you
Following their recent show at the New Brookland you didn’t catch enough eggs, the bottom would fill light and I’ll do it. Give me a shooter, I’ll do like a get her really coked up.
Tavern we sat down primarily with vocalist Andrew up. That was my favorite Atari lemon drop or something. Craig: Like PBR tall boys.
Carey to talk about really dumb unimportant shit. It game. My favorite Sega Bring it here I’ll do it. Andrew: Yea you could put a PBR tall boy... You
was guitarist Craig Chaney’s birthday and when he game: I never had Sega but I Craig: Ah you pussy. could do anything to porn stars. Have you seen that
wasn’t at the bar he came over to help out. The band played it at my friends’ hous- Andrew: What were we shit on the internet? It’s disgusting?
will be spending part of the summer playing shows es and it had to be Sonic. talking about? O Yea, X- Craig: It’s the future
all over the world and scoring with European sluts. Sorry I am a loser, but Sonic Men sucked.
is it. AW: If you could be a super hero who would you be?
The Angry Whale: You guys live in Jacksonville, so My favorite Nintendo game AW: If you cad add a weird Craig: Jesus
what type of beach related activities do you partici- was Mario Kart. I love Mario or strange instrument to Andrew: Duh- he could turn water into wine. Really
pate in? Kart, well that’s Super your live show what would it though I thought about that. I saw X-Men the other
Andrew Carey: I surf and we lay out on the beach Nintendo. My favorite be? day and Storm is all up in it. I thought: Why doesn’t
and we dodge sharks and wrestle with them and Nintendo game: Duck Hunt? Andrew: Probably a better Storm run the fucking universe? I wouldn’t want to
stuff. Sharks and alligators. That’s what we do. Nah I don’t know I didn’t real- singer. A better frontman. I be storm, but the threat of creating a Hurricane
ly play Nintendo. My favorite think that would be the Katrina and taking over the world... the threat of that
AW: Where’s the best place to surf? arcade game: I really like that greatest instrument ever. is powerful.
Andrew: Jacksonville Beach Pier is probably the one sniper game. You know Someone who doesn’t get
best, Sebastian Inlet- that’s a good break and Cocoa what I’m talking about? Silent AW: What is the worst fast food joint that you eat at?
nervous and shit their pants
Beach has a good break. Killer or Killing People Off Andrew: All of them. Fuck that, I hate fast food. I
on stage like I do.
Buildings, I can’t remember. don’t even eat meat so fuck that. The worst one: Dell
AW: What’s the best and worst thing about AW: What's your least favorite stretch of highway in Taco is bad. I hate that. McDonald's. Fuck
Jacksonville? AW: If you could have and endless supply of a par- the United States? McDonald's. I’m going to firebomb a McDonald's.
Andrew: The best and worst thing ticular type of alcohol what would it be? Andrew: I-10 in Arizona. I hate that goddamn place. Andrew Carey is going to firebomb a McDonald's.
about Jacksonville is the cocaine... Andrew: I’m a big fan of Southern Comfort so it Andrew Carey from Evergreeen Terrace is going to
but I don’t do cocaine. would have to be Southern Comfort. AW: Name a famous chick that you want to bang? firebomb a McDonald's!
Andrew: Oh man, there’s so many. Natalie Portman. Craig: I am the Hamburglar.

tHe AnGrY WHALe no. 1.18 theangrywhale@yahoo.com

16 citypaper June 21, 2006

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Rall
AMERICANS DON’T CARE
ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES
The Other Side of the War
by Ted Rall
BAGHDAD--The deaths of three
Americans who hung themselves in
their secret cells brought renewed calls
from human rights groups to bring other
foreigners to trial. But leaders of the Iraqi
resistance forces dismissed suggestions
that the captured U.S. soldiers had
committed suicide in despair over the
harshness or indefinite length of their
imprisonment.
“They have no regard for life, neither
ours nor their own,” said Abu Hamza al-
Muhajir, head of Al Qaeda in Iraq, of the
detainees. “I believe this was not an act of
desperation, but an act of asymmetrical
warfare waged against us.”
Other Iraqi resistance leaders
echoed this hard line, noting that radical
Americans sacrifice happy and secure
lives in the United States in the hope
of achieving martyrdom on the dusty
battlefields of the Middle East. Moreover,
their fundamentalist interpretation of
their Christian faith promises eternal
paradise in the hereafter.
“It does sound like this is part of a
strategy--in that they don’t value their
citypaper June 21, 2006 17
own lives, and they certainly don’t value the Americans now held at secret Iraqi leadership level in Halliburton and the
ours; and they use suicide as a tactic,” detention facilities were captured while U.S. military, many with direct personal
said Mohammed Daham Abid Hamadi, a engaged in hostile action against the contact and knowledge of the March
top deputy of the Popular Resistance for people of Iraq on the battlefield, either 2003 attacks. We are keeping terrorist
the Liberation of Iraq told a nationalist as members of the Blackwell terrorist recruiters, facilitators, explosives
website. “Taking their own lives was not group or soldiers of the U.S. regime. The trainers, bombers and bombmakers,
necessary, but it certainly is a good PR captured Americans are so fanatical, George W. Bush bodyguards and
move.” say resistance officials, that they would financiers, from continuing their attack
Human rights groups criticize the immediately rejoin their comrades in against Iraq... Make no mistake about it-
postwar network of secret prisons future terrorist attacks against Iraqis were -we are keeping enemies of our nation
where Americans, Britons and other they to be freed. “These are among the off the battlefield. This is an enormous
Westerners are being held as both most dangerous, best trained, vicious challenge. These terrorists are not
inhumane and extrajudicial. Captured killers on the face of the earth,” said Issa represented by any law-abiding nation
U.S. soldiers and others accused of anti- Daham Abed Al-Julilbawi. or legally elected government. They do
Iraqi terrorism are not allowed visits with Sheikh al-Muhajir, commander not adhere to the rules of war.”
or communications from their families. of what some critics call “Iraq’s
They are only permitted showers once Guantánamo,” defended the treatment of (Ted Rall is the editor of “Attitude 3:
and exercise twice--for 15-minute detainees. The New Subversive Online Cartoonists,”
sessions--each week. Conditions are “Conditions have improved a new anthology of webcartoons.)
described as spartan; Western inmates dramatically for detainees since they
are allowed only a small mat, blanket, first arrived,” he said. “We hold men
letters@columbiacitypaper.com
and Bible as a “comfort item.” Released who proudly admit membership at the
detainees have accused Iraqis of
torture. The three deaths followed 19
previous suicide attempts, as well as a
hunger strike that was quelled by force-
feeding. There are no plans to charge
the inmates, some of whom have been
held for several years and whose names
have not been released, before a Sharia
court.
Allies of the cause of Iraqi
sovereignty have criticized these
policies. “I think it would be to the
benefit of our cause, and our fight
for freedom, if the facilities were
closed down,” said imam Muktada
al-Sadr.
The resistance made clear from
the start of the war that it would not
grant the protections of the Geneva
Conventions to Americans. “These
are the worst of a very bad lot,”
said Sheikh Abu Musab al-Zarqawi,
who was later killed by an American
terrorist attack, of the detainees.
“They are very dangerous. They
are devoted to killing hundreds of
thousands of ordinary Iraqis and
they are perfectly prepared to die in
the effort.”
Although some of the detainees-
-sheiks refuse to classify them as
“prisoners of war”--were turned
over by local warlords for bounties,
resistance leaders say that most of
18 Horoscopes citypaper June 21, 2006

HOROSCOPES by Governor Mark Sanford*

*Gov, Sanford doesn’t actually write these horoscopes.
We just think he is a man of vision.

Now that the primaries are over, it’s time for your secret third
party candidate to strike! He couldn’t do it in California, but,
by God, Gary Coleman will be a real contender in South
Carolina. I suggest running him for treasurer just to get his
feet wet. Buy his plane ticket (coach), put him up at the Days
Inn until the election and then watch him sweep the ballot!
Trust me. “Watchoo talkin’ bout Jeff Willis?”
Cancer
Cut yo mama drama some slack, Jack, you dig? Quit bein a
jive turkey, hit the club and turn yo closet disco queen into a
freaky-deaky Fillet. Sooky, sooky, now!
Scorpio
Your band will get a leg up on Columbia rock-n-roll shtick
when you translate your heart-wrenching lyrics into
Klingon.
Sagittarius
I hereby declare next mid-week as Wake-n-Bake
Wednesday. Everybody call in sick, lick up a Swisher, head
to the river and live a little.

Aries
Just because you took your dad to the strip club for Father’s
Day and found out your sister works there, it doesn’t mean
he loves you any less. Even if she did give him a dance for
free and you forgot to pay for his cover.
Taurus
Try a new hangover cure this Saturday morning. Personally,
I recommend: one pint of God’s Acre Healing Springs water
with two packets of headache powder sprinkled over a plate
of Mexican food while watching an episode of the Diva Hair
Weaver on UPN. But, that’s just me.
Gemini
Leo
You will raise the state’s unemployment rate after a misguided
attempt to show your boss that you can think outside the
box ...by wallowing in a kiddy pool in the office hallway,
bedecked in aviator shades and swim trunks, sloshing water
as you reach to flip hotdogs on the mini grill.
Virgo
Instead of treating your dog as a pet, this week treat him
with the respect you would show a mentally challenged
roommate. Don’t make him do humiliating little routines for
treats; it’s degrading. Would you make a homeless man “sit
and shake” for a dollar?
Libra
Luckily, your toddler hasn’t yet developed the cognitive
skills needed to question how his Super Siren Ambulance
toy somehow ended up in the path of your lawnmower.
Capricorn
Spice up your weekend this week by answering one of
those Missed Connections in the back of a corporate
weekly. Say you were the girl in the pigtails your mystery
man saw skipping home from school carrying the Dora the
Explorer lunch box and then show up to the date with a can
of mace and some hedge clippers.
Aquarius
No, Aquarius, you pervert, there is no such thing as a “mile
high club” for churches.
Pisces
For future reference, it’s really not too money to hit on a
beach babe while all the other guys are distracted by the
gruesome shark attack in progress a few yards away.

“Nice Doing Business With You”

JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS --from the boardroom to the bathroom.
by Matt Jones 2” poster 29 Cancel payment, while doing
54 Really fast plane, for short your business?
Across 56 His Symphony No. 10 is unfin- 31 Film followed up by “The Road
1 Has sex with ished Warrior”
6 Angry and impatient 58 Horn of Africa residents 32 Corked item
11 Internet access variety, for short 62 Suffix for Gator or Power 36 Ending for teen
14 Have ___ (whoop it up) 63 Theory discussed while doing 37 Ferry destination from Copen-
15 Like some slot machines your business? hagen
16 Ambient rocker Brian 66 Drunk’s syllable 39 “That’s good eatin’!!!”
17 Balance sheet item that’s men- 67 Square 42 Exclamation after plopping
tioned while doing your business? 68 Female demon down on the sofa
19 ___ canto (operatic style) 69 Boat full of animals 45 How some may be for life
20 It may come with multiple forks 70 Fred Astaire’s sister 46 Household spray
21 Feature of some benefits pack- 71 Fixing one’s shoelaces 49 Belief sys.
ages 51 City on the Missouri
23 Realm ruled until 1806, for short Down 52 Lowest point
24 Cheese’s partner 1 Like those with alopecia 55 Do some metallurgy
26 Bugs 2 “Village Voice” award 57 Italian cone
27 Mark Mothersbaugh’s former 3 How-to URLs 58 Kind of terrier
group 4 They may be in short supply in the 59 When doubled, a Hawaiian
30 Easily entertained winter massage technique
33 “What ___” (Sublime song) 5 More crafty 60 Victorious shout
34 Word that’s intoned 6 Lacking bubbles 61 Problem
35 First language of Hank’s neigh- 7 Canon autofocus film system 64 Hoppin’ mad feeling
bor on “King of the Hill” 8 Windows precursor 65 450
38 Donald’s girlfriend 9 It may be worth a little on a lot
40 Video game with arrows and a 10 Rose or Rozelle ©2006 Jonesin’
floor pad, for short 11 Assistance provided while doing Crosswords(editor@jonesincross-
41 Nest components your business? words.com)
43 Unlike 666 12 Move stealthily For answers to this puzzle, call:
44 The postal service 13 Slumps lazily 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per
47 Achilles’s weak spot 18 Bedtime story? minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to
48 Hot, platonic “date” for the 22 Nothing, on scoreboards your credit card, call: 1-800-655-
evening 24 Ordinary 6548. Reference puzzle #0262.
50 ___-Cuban 25 “Pippi Longstocking” author
51 It may be enough Lindgren
53 Item on the “Friday the 13th Part 27 “Life for Rent” pop singer
28 Word akin to “I say!”
 citypaper June 21, 2006 19

Deric Spoils The Movies

By Deric Kempsell
Nacho Libre (2006)
An amusing diversion…if you’re 12
years old.
Nacho Libre represents director Jared
Hess’ sophomore effort in the film business
(his first feature being Napoleon Dynamite),
and, like many collegiate sophomores, he has
is on the verge of losing the final match Verdict: Stupid and fun…meet you at
when Sister Encarnacion arrives with the the stop light of Greene and College Streets.
orphans in tow and he magically summons This one’s for slips. Seriously.
the strength to demolish the champion. The
orphans get a bus and Nacho’s future with Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties X
Encarnacion is open. Synopsis: Garfield and his
Many anticipated Nacho but few will be doppelganger…in England!
impressed. Though there are moments of Verdict: Why would anyone make
comedic genius, the majority of the humor a Garfield movie, let alone TWO Garfield
found in the film has already been seen in movies???
The Lake House X
Synopsis: A love story that transcends
time, and the mystery behind it.
Verdict: Um…….pass.
The Omen √
Synopsis: The Anti-Christ comes of
age.
Verdict: Freakin’ sweet, man…pray for
sequels.
Over The Hedge √
Synopsis: Adventurous raccoons
invade suburbia.
Verdict: Cute, but I still wouldn’t hedge
your bets on this one.
this film realized it’s summer movie season
now.
Superman Returns √
Synopsis: Following a mysterious
absence, the “Man of Steel” returns to
Earth.
Verdict: Please be better than X-Men
3.
X-Men: The Last Stand X
Synopsis: A cure for mutancy sparks
an epic battle.
Verdict: A TRAVESTY!!!
Classic Movie Spoiler:
The Shawshank Redemption (1994):
Synopsis: After failing to secure his
last chance for parole from prison, Andy
Dufresne (Tim Robbins) is feared to commit
suicide.
Spoiler: Andy escapes through a hole
in his cell he spent ten years carving out
behind a poster on his wall!

A Prarie Home Companion X

Synopsis: The adventures behind a
radio variety show’s last night. letters@columbiacitypaper.com
Verdict: I don’t think whoever made

a difficult time. Jack Black stars as Ignacio,
an orphan who grew up in a monastery and
now is a member of the order himself. Ever
since his youth, Ignacio has been obsessed
with “lucha libre” wrestling…scrawling
pictures inside his bibles and fabricating
costumes from church linens. Enlisting
the help of a nacho thief named Esqueleto
(Hector Jiminez), Ignacio enters an open
wrestling match to try and win a cash prize
so the orphans he cooks for will have better
food than the usual gruel. Enter Nacho
(Ignacio), and Esqueleto: the newest minor
league wrestlers on the lucha libre wrestling
scene. They lose their first match horribly,
yet are still paid because the crowd likes
them. Every week they continue to wrestle,
making more and more money by losing
to preposterous villains such as old men,
troll midgets, and women. Meanwhile, as
wrestling is considered sinful by the order,
Nacho must conceal his new job or risk
being kicked out.
Nacho is desperate to impress Sister
Encarnacion (Ana de la Reguera), a new
nun staying at the monastery. As his wealth
grows and the orphans’ food improves, as
does his apparel and desire for material
possessions and fame, Nacho’s biggest
desire becomes actually winning win a match
and going pro. He and Esqueleto sneak
into a party held by the leading wrestler and
before getting thrown out are invited to enter
a wrestling tournament with the prize being
a title match against the reigning champ
himself. Praying in the afternoon prior to the
match, Ignacio’s robe catches fire and his
secret wrestling outfit is revealed beneath.
He leaves the order determined to win so he
can buy a bus to take the orphans on field
trips. Unfortunately, Nacho only comes in
second place.
Retreating to the wilderness to reflect,
Nacho discovers he will be allowed to wrestle
because of an unfortunate accident. Nacho
the trailer. The biggest drawback to the
film (besides being rated PG), is the sheer
overabundance of fart jokes. Yes children,
as this movie is a Nickelodeon film, there are
plenty of them. Nacho Libre itself is the fart
joke following Napoleon Dynamite. While it
seeks to convey the same charm, it fails.
Nacho Libre (2006) starring Jack Black,
Hector Jiminez, Troy Gentile, Moises Arias,
and Lauro Chartrand is directed by Jared
Hess and rated PG-13 for rough action, and
crude humor including dialogue.
Also Playing This Week:
The Break-Up X
Synopsis: Exactly like it sounds.
Verdict: Like any doomed relationship,
there are fewer good times than bad.
Cars √
Synopsis: A rookie racecar discovers
life is about the journey, not the finish.
Verdict: If you don’t like these movies
then there is something wrong with you.
Also, George Carlin does a voiceover.
Click ?
Synopsis: Adam Sandler receives a
universal remote for the universe!
Verdict: Tough call, Sandler is
hilarious…his last few movies weren’t.
The DaVinci Code √
Synopsis: Based on the best selling
novel; adventure, mystery and intrigue
abound!
Verdict: If you haven’t read the book,
you might get confused.
The Fast and The Furious 3: Tokyo
Drift √
Synopsis: High Stakes racing set in
Tokyo’s underground.
Cartoons citypaper June 21, 2006 20

Ted Rall

Perry Bible Fellowship

The Boondocks su|do|ku

Puzzles by Pappocom

BE YOUR OWN BOSS

CCP offers 20% straight commission &
Ground Floor Growth Opportunities

803-446-3458
 citypaper June 21, 2006 21

Mike Campbell set to beat Lt. Gov. Bauer

Op-Ed by Wes Wolfe cluelessness in German slang) would probably drop PAC. This is understandable since the Campbells
further in the polls if it were widely known that about were family friends of late Wendy’s founder Dave
Andre Bauer: Unsafe at any speed. That’s the seven years ago he met a female state Democratic Thomas, and Campbell once co-owned 19 Wendy’s
general assessment by many, as shown in the Party operative at a bar and botched the hook-up. franchises.
Republican lieutenant governor primary when 45 Allegedly, the woman showed up for a date at his boat Several in-state people have laid large amounts
percent of voters went for rival Mike Campbell. It’s on Lake Murray equipped with shaving cream and a of money on the line, including Colonial Life chairman
not often that an incumbent faces a serious chance of razor in order to put the kibosh on his unibrow. It did Gayle Averyt, who sent $2,000, and Robert Royall,
getting ousted before the general election, but that’s not go over well. contributing $3,500.
what Bauer’s looking at going into the June 27 runoff. That leaves the door open for Campbell, the son Then there are the out-of-state donors. One
During his stint in the state’s No. 2 spot, police of former S.C. Gov. Carroll Campbell. While pundits wouldn’t think a primary campaign for an office like
caught Bauer going 65 mph in a 35 mph zone and and journalists can look at the polls and the men’s S.C. lieutenant governor – which is part time and has
taking his car over 100 mph on I-77, not to mention respective assets and flaws, the place to look for the little power – would attract the money Campbell’s
recently crashing a plane on takeoff. In an article in winner is the contribution disclosure reports. received, but it has.
The (Charlotte) Observer, Republican pollster and Initially, there are the sorts of things you would Jack Kemp, former NFL great, HUD secretary and
Clemson political scientist David Woodward recalled expect to find. Bauer is running his campaign primarily GOP vice presidential nominee saw fit to donate a
a state Republican calling Bauer “South
The New York Carolina’s from his
Times Syndication friends
Sales in the auto sales business and payday
Corporation grand.
oldest teenager,” playing off Bauer’s slogan of “South loan establishments.
609 Greenwich Street, New York, N.Y. 10014 Campbell, though, has state Oliver Kellman, a Washington, D.C. lobbyist,
Carolina’s hardest-working lawmaker.”For Information Call:ethics reports
1-800-972-3550 to be in awe of. gave $6,500 between his personal account and his
Bauer, (a word literally translating to “farmer” in Campbell received the maximum of $3,500 from firm. Kellman used to work for Democrats, including
German and connoting a fumbling awkwardness and his
For Release Monday, brother
June and the same amount from the Wendy’s
26, 2006 people like Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) and Rep.
John Conyers (D-MI). After a falling out with the party,
he switched camps and is now considered a national
leader among black Republicans. Campbell became
one of the beneficiaries.
Edited by Will Shortz No. 0515 John Elliot Associates also made a nice $1,000
ACROSS 39 “Steee-rike!” 72 Tennessee 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
donation. Elliot was one of the largest contributors
1 Problem with an callers senator
Alexander 14 15 16 to President George W. Bush’s inauguration, lending
old record 41 Latin dance
73 Hankerings
$30,000.
5 Jalopy 43 Labor Day mo. 17 18 19 As much as Republicans rail against trial lawyers,
10 Glimpse 44 Egg sites
DOWN
national law firm Duane Morris, LLP gave Campbell
46 Six-stringed 20 21 22
14 Jai ___ $2,000. The firm, based out of Pennsylvania, is
instruments 1 In the 80ʼs,
15 Chill out 48 Berg temperaturewise
23 24 25 26 involved in personal injury cases along with a myriad
16 Buckeye State composition 2 Sheltered, at 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35
of other types of legal assistance.
17 Sailorʼs 49 19th-century sea Then there’s the Five Points money. Between Take
meteorological U.S. money 3 X-ray units 36 37 38 That LLC, Bar None, Good Times, Dr. Rocco’s, Jake’s,
concern, in a 52 Letter after Mark’s and Gracie’s, Campbell has wrangled $4,242.27
4 Stamenʼs
saying sigma 39 40 41 42 43
counterpart in straight-up money and in-kind contributions of
20 Classic party 53 Trick winner, 5 Have a bawl 44 45 46 47 48 booze. One establishment that probably won’t donate
host Perle ___ often
6 Derriere to his campaign though is California Dreaming, where
21 Bob Marley fan 54 The Trojans of 49 50 51
the N.C.A.A. 7 Ski resort near Campbell once reportedly caused a scene. Allegedly
22 Links org. Snowbird 52 53 storming in and berating the hostesses and demanding
57 Steamed
23 “Where would 8 Scottish caps they find a pair of glasses he thought he had left there,
___ without 61 The British ___ 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64
65 Starts of 17-, 9 Strange and Campbell later called the restaurant and apologized
you?” rare
25 Gerundʼs end
27- and 65 66 67 after finding them at home.
49-Across, 10 Span longer Former President George H.W. Bush may as well
27 “The Wizard of collectively than an era 68 69 70
Oz” route have given the maximum to the Campbell campaign,
68 “___ on Down 11 Use FedEx, say
36 Suffix with pay
71 72 73 giving his endorsement in an ad that began running at
the Road” 12 Sonar sound
69 Atlantaʼs Omni
the end of May. Campbell also got an endorsement
37 Frenchmanʼs 13 Lotus position Puzzle by John R. Conrad
topper 70 Rewrite
from pro wrestler Ric Flair, who appeared at his
discipline 34 Pet protection 47 Prefix with 58 Taj Mahal site
38 Taste or smell 71 Go bananas
primary night celebration. It’s unknown whether Flair
18 Dish on a org. logical 59 Those guys
skewer said, “To be lieutenant governor, you have to beat the
35 Dissuade by 50 Time capsule 60 Sicilian volcano
ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 19 Major and threat, maybe event lieutenant governor! Woo!”
62 Valuable vein One can assume that Campbell’s political
F R A N Z K A F K A N A T S
captain, e.g. 51 Stahl of “60
40 Leave in, as 63 Leprechaunʼs
L I M E S T R E E T E T U I 24 Lambsʼ maʼams text Minutes” pedigree-- coupled with the fact that Bauer’s antics
land
I C E C A S T L E S E T N A 26 Some college 54 Employs have alienated him from his own party-- will be
42 Hawkeye player 64 Jet-settersʼ jets,
T E N K P I P E D R E A M tests, for short on “M*A*S*H” 55 Ollieʼs partner in once enough to upset the incumbency. But in the end,
E D D S P A N I A R D S 27 Offspring comedy 66 Vim neither of those factors will decide this runoff; it will
45 Symbol of
S H A P E N C O T T A 28 Cartoondomʼs slowness 56 ___ Nostra 67 Train unit be Campbell’s wellspring of business donations and
D I S P O S E S P A W S A T ___ Fudd his big name endorsements. To predict the outcome
A L T E R E R B A R E T T A 29 Run out, as a of this election, as with most of them, one only needs
H E R E T O C A R T L O A D subscription For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.20 a minute; or, with a
credit card, 1-800-814-5554. to follow the money.
S T A D T P A R C E L 30 Cheer for a diva
Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday
P R O T E S T E R C A M 31 Archaeologistʼs crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS.
D O P E N A N C E C I T I find
A V I A S T A N L A U R E L
Online subscriptions: Today's puzzle and more than 2,000 letters@columbiacitypaper.com
32 “No problem!” past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($34.95 a year).
V E N D S A R D I N E C A N 33 Newsman Share tips: nytimes.com/puzzleforum. Crosswords for young
E R G S E X A S P E R A T E Roger solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.
22 Advice citypaper June 21, 2006

Savage Love
by Dan Savage
I had never fooled around with a guy who was
uncircumcised, but I came to terms with it because
I loved him. It has recently started to bother me
again because it makes giving him head more
difficult and a little more unpleasant.

I mentioned it to him once a few months ago at a

I am an overweight gay boy from Rhode Island. At
the ripe old age of 22, I’m still a virgin. And shit,
it’s not that I haven’t tried to find a man; it’s just
that because I don’t fit the perfect picture of male-
homosexual beauty (I weigh about 250 pounds),
no one takes the time to get to know the smart,
funny, sophisticated guy that I am. Now, I know that
some guys like fat, hairy guys—the problem is that
they tend to be old, fat, and hairy. Unfortunately
for me (and for them), I’m not turned on by any of
those qualities. Any advice on how to find a nice
boy next door (my age!!!) who can maybe give me
an awesome first time despite my man boobs and
hairy ass—in other words, someone who can see
the beauty inside?
Bear Cub Seeks Anything But
Some young, skinny, smooth boy-next-door types
dig hairy butts and man boobs, but those boys
are scarce and in demand. So if you’re absolutely
determined to hold out for one, BCSAB, you may
be a virgin for a good, long time. However, I’ll
tolerate no bitching from you while you wait for
that a man-boob-lovin’ A&F boy to come along. If
you’re not willing to get to know the smart, funny,
sophisticated guys trapped inside older, fatter,
hairier bodies, BCSAB, then you can’t complain
about all the younger, smoother, skinnier boys who
won’t do the same for you. I’ve got a few thousand dollars worth of ITMFA cash
burning a hole in my checking account, folks—
I am a 22-year-old female and I’ve been with my where would you like me to send the money?
21-year-old boyfriend for two years. I love him a lot
and our sex life is great. But I have one issue: He mail@savagelove.net
isn’t circumcised. It weirded me out at first because
bad time and he became defensive. Is it wrong for 1929 Marion Street
me to ask him to get circumcised?
In-town Properties
Cut It Please
2144 Wallace Street….Located in historic Cottontown. Perfect for investor…Pre-list-
ing opportunity…1600+ sqft bungalow...3b/1b, corner lot, hardwoods, sunroom, new
So you asked your boyfriend to cut off a chunk
of his cock and he reacted defensively. No shit? windows, exterior recently painted. Priced for investor @ $160,000.
Really? But, hey, you brought the subject up at a
4404 North Main Street…Great commercial opportunity, duplex located in the heart of
“bad time,” so maybe that was the problem... or
Eau Claire, multiple uses high traffic area. Within planned N. Main renovation project....
maybe there’s just no good time to tell someone
Property needs major renovations. Priced for investor @ $85,000.
that his genitals disgust you and that you want him
to have an important, nerve-packed chunk sliced 1303 Florence Street…Classic Earlewood Bungalow, completely renovated, hardwoods
off. throughout, archways, smooth ceilings, granite countertops, site built cabinets, up-
dated electric, HVAC, and plumbing. 2200 +- sqft….All new kitchen and baths...View of
Sorry, CIP, but just as it would be wrong for a man Earlewood Park from front door...$222,900.
to ask his big-clitted or big-lipped girlfriend to have
her genitals mutilated for his comfort, it’s wrong for 6905 Cleaton Road / Point Arcadia condo- 1650+ sqft well maintained and move in
you to ask your boyfriend to do the same. ready!! Large 2bed/2½ bath conveniently located to Fort Jackson, 1-77, and 1-20.
Community has pool, clubhouse, and common lake with dock for fishing. $93,000.
ITMFA NEWS: Last week, as promised, the first
ITMFA checks went out: $4,000 to the ACLU, $2,000 105 Promentory Court…New construction in developing, upscale, “intown” Woodhill
to Bob Casey (the Dem running against Rick “Fecal Crest subdivision...Great open floorplan in cul-de-sac...4b/5b...ready in mid- July...$599,000.
Matter” Santorum in Pennsylvania), and $2,000
to Ned Lamont (the real Dem challenging faux-
Dem Joe “There Is No Morality Without Religion”
Lieberman in Connecticut). But since George W. Call Chris Barczak Broker for a showing
or additional details. 513-5511
Bush continues to do stupid/illegal/immoral crap,
orders for “impeach the motherfucker already”
buttons and lapel pins keep pouring in at www. In the House Realty specializes in representing clients seek-
ITMFA.com. And since more orders means more ing or selling property in the high demand, downtown market.
money, I’m looking around for some other worthy
recipients.

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LEARN ABOUT SC POLITICS “Bugging the

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DINING ROOM TABLE & CHAIRS Large dining Palmettos,” that delves into South Carolina CAROL CAMPBELL INTERIORS Transform- ‘02 CHEVY BLAZER LS 2 door. 65K Excellent
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480-252-3798, ask for
Truck:
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803-779-4883. Contact Polo Road Park for details: 736-1657 ‘84 MERCEDES 380 SL convert. 2 tops, black glass w/cabin. Mercruiser 350 HP engine. Seats
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FAUDER BUNK BED
Something, Anything, Nothing.......
FAUDER BUNK .......and everything in between. These are our
BED for sale. Desk and dresser attached. $500 topics of conversation. So you can be a little
cast resin, he weighs approx. 70lbs and mea- paint, clean interior, lots of new parts, strong
RELIEVE STRESS & tension with a head to toe sures 42” high, 24” wide, and 36” deep. Ready car, $2500 OBO. Call 779-4883.
massage by Tim. CMT. In/Out calls. Call 803- for battle, Yoda is dressed in his robe and has
730-9180
Housing
OBO. Call 803-419-8507. quirky or an open minded regular Jane. Be at 318-2691 for appt. CMT #1843 his light saber at hand! Only 2000 of these were ‘86 CHEVY CARGO C30. Exc. condition. $3500 3630 Monroe Street 2 bedroom 1 bath
least cute (You know whether you are or not.) made in 2005 as a promotion for Pepsi. Perfect firm. Call 447-6873 about 1630 total sq.ft. Shandon House. Large
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Exc. cond., $75 OBO. Call 727-2130 DWM 44 seeks 30’s female. Greater Columbia Honest. Call me to clean your home. 936-0337 89 JAGUAR GRAY, 89k mi, minor repairs, good @530-6507
area. or 319-2558 paint job, original upholstery & wire rims. Excel-
NEVER USED MATCHING pillow back sofa and Budget Lawn Care Mowing, trimming, yard lent condition. $2600 firm. Call 803-556-1117 Corner of S. Bonham and Yale Avenue in Shan-
recliner, drk grn/brwn chenille weave. Wood I’m a very attractive native Southern girl, and SPRING CLEANING. T & V Cleaning Service. cleanup, shrubs, tree trimming. Reasonable lv msg don. Great 1614 Sq. Ft. Home with 3 bedrooms
arms w/horiz.rail frame. $300. 803-505-4808 I can be friends with almost anyone, so if you Get your house cleaned starting at $99. Call for rates, references. Call Dave 256-8868. and 1.5 bathrooms. Please call Tami L. Phillips
can keep your cool around a beautiful woman, an appt. 803-586-4951 for a limited time. ‘92 BMW , ‘92 BMW , silver, 200k mi, good with Security Realty @ 530-6507 anytime.
FENDER BASS AMP Fender Rumble 100 contact me. FOSTER HOMES NEEDED cond., but needs some work. Asking $1500.
combo bass amp. 15” speaker, horn, loud 100 100 DEMO Cd’s $159 JAMROOMSTU- Dachshund Rescue of North America (DRNA) Call 803-361-3368 after 5 p.m. 108 Cantigny Court A 2 year old house in the
watts. Nice features, great shape. $250 firm. Pre Med looking for fun man. DIO.COM 100 DEMO CDs $159 803.787.6908 is looking for local foster homes. Must be fa- Lexington Hill’s Area 3 bedroom, 2 full bath-
thollandh@peoplepc.com or 803-407-3569 <p> I’m looking for a mature gentleman who miliar with the breed and be able to foster until ‘94 CHEVY CAMARO 3.4L V6, Installed a shift rooms over 1500 sq. ft with 2 car garage. Seller
(Irmo) before 9pm. knows how to treat a lady. <p> I like to have DISTURBIN DA PEACE!! Hemp & Body Jewel- dog is adopted. You provide love, care and food kit trans, new paint job, green, ABS brakes, VERY MOTIVATED!!! Please Call Tami Phillips
a good time and prefer to start as friends first. ry, Incense oils & burners, Open 7 Days a Week! and DRNA pays for all approved vetting. Con- Bose factory stereo. Power windows, side mir- with Security Realty @ 530-6507.
UPRIGHT PIANO FOR sale. Black, good shape. Email me I’ll send pictures. 10171 A Two Notch Rd, 865-5497 tact Mardy at mardcam@msn.com or 803-261- rors, driver’s seat, trunk rls. T-top, A/C, tan int.
$450 OBO. Call 803-808-7640. 2116 for more information. Garage kept. 92k mi. $5250 OBO. Call 803- Gilbert 3b/2b home for sale in gilbert on 1.75
Sweet girl looking for her Romeo! I WE CAN TRAIN ANY DOG Obedience, prob- 348-7468 acres. doll house style with wrap around porch
CLEMSON SUMMER” ART PRINT 34”w x am a very sweet and outgoing girl that is look- lem solving. Call now for your free consultation. MAKE YOUR PET a Calendar Pin-Up! A color call lynn madden century 21 @318-5176
26”h framed, signed print, “Clemson Summer” ing for a hopeless romantic like myself. But I do Columbia area 1-877-364-7667 2007 calendar will be produced with photos of ‘95 ACURA INTEGRA Special Edition. Leather,
by SC artist Steven Jordan [www.stevenjordan. love a sweet out going guy that knows how to a select few pets. Your pet can be one of the lady driven, recent tune-up, spoiler. White, 140k residential/commercial2400 sq. ft. approx.
com]. Wood/glass, excellent condition. $60. make me laugh. I enjoy most of everything, the chosen! Here’s how to make it happen: Â¥ Go mi. Great riding car. $3850 OBO. Call 803-665- 4b/2b fenced garage can be home or office
(803)528-9370 outdoors, I love camping and the beach. but i to projectpet.com and register! ¥ VOTE! for 5168 building call lynn madden century 21 @318-
do enjoy curling up on the couch and cuddling MISSING: Black lab w/white patch under chin. your favorite pet and get others to do the same! 5176
AFRICAN AMERICAN HAIR care products. to an action or a romantic flick. I am the kind of About 9 months old. Last seen Feb. 12. An- Keep an eye on the elimination round deadlines ‘95 FORD TAURUS 3 liter V6. PARTS ONLY.
Complete line. Going out of business. Call 447- girl that goes to the gym quite a bit but Im not an swers to the name Lucky. If you have ANY info, to ensure your pet stays in the top 12! Deadline: Does not run! Regular tune-ups & oil changes, commecial/residential approx.1650 sq. ft. build-
6873 over do er/ in that department, I am very athletic please call 749-6053. 6/30/06 Contact Laura for more details at 407- CD player. Make an offer! Moving, must sell. ing on main strip in gaston. used to be a flower
I love running, its very relaxing to me. I would 0991 x7 or laura@projectpet.com Call 791-4807 shop. lots of potential, can live in back and run
FOSTEX 8 TRACK digital recorder. $450. Call truly enjoy someone that would have tones of Buy a condo/property management. business in front seller is very negotiable call
Tommy @ 803-767-6178. fun jogging with me. I would love to meet a very Columbia & Surrounding Areas If you have CAROLINA YOGA CY YOU NEED YOGA!803- ‘95 MERC SABLE wgn, AT, AC, 160k, new tires, lynn madden century 21 @ 318-5176
good friend and companion someone that I can been thinking about owning, renting or having great condition, runs great, no smoke, 30mpg,
2 PEAVEY 315S speaker cabinets w/new Scor- do anything with. I have a truly caring heart and your property managed, give us a call. We list $1800 OBO, Call 803-606-6156. Springdalelittle over 1800 sq. ft. 3b/2/ with 2 car
Automotive
pion speakers, $250. 2 older Peavey 112 Int. I would love to share that with someone spe- and sell Single Family Homes, Condos, Town- garage, FROG, fenced back yard in exclusive
cabinets w/Black Widow speakers, $100. Call cial. houses and Patio Homes. Our agents provide ‘95 MITSUBISHI GALLANT White, CD player, neighborhood. Springdale area, Hampton Crest
803-736-7478. ÒREALÓ service and we stand ready to assist pwr windows & locks. Runs well. 196k mi. S.D. call lynn madden century 21 @ 318-5176
you with ALL your housing needs. 1516 Rich- 1992 HONDA ACCORD LX Gold 4 door reli- $1900 OBO. Call 236-4700
You only live once, make the most of it. I land Street Columbia, SC 29201 www.land- able, needs minor work! $1000.00 obo call Don w.cola. area home 3b/2b brick home in lloyd-
BUYING Sports memorabilia. Old Pro/College would say that I am a laid back person. I can markresources.biz (803) 799-0859 @ (803)447-0691 ‘96 BROUGHAM CADILLAC 91k mi., white, woods s.d.fenced yard 79,900 call lynn mad-
rings, watches, game – used uniforms, hel- be happy with the simple things; watching tv blue top, great shape, $5995. Call 803-238- den century 21 @318-5176
mets, equipment, programs, photos and nega- or having a great conversation. I want a man FREE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM! $29.95/mo. 4 TRUCK BED liners for sale, $30 each. Call 1655 lv msg.
tives, autographs + MORE. Call Mike 254-8448 that I can be friends with and if more develops monitoring fee. Call Bill 466-9510 803-447-6873. Real Estate Agent are you looking to buy or
then great. I love to laugh, I’m very friendly, and We will buy your home! ‘96 NISSAN SENTRA A/C, auto trans., lousy sell a home? I can help you with any home in
I can sometimes be a little outspoken person. I 03 TAHOE Z71 4x4. White w/gray interior. Great paint job, needs timing chain, 209k mi., 28 mpg, cola. and surrounding areas! I can also give you
Versace sunglasses,,,100% authentic can adapt to any surrondings, and I’m a great NEW COMPANY looking to buy or lease hous- condition, leather seats, satellite radio, sunroof, $1000. Call 240-2162. a FREE market analysis of your home if you’re
They are gorgeous and have never been worn, listener. I love to talk so sometimes my friends es in Columbia area, any price, any condition. tinted windows. 107K miles. Asking $20,400 just curious to know what it is worth! call me any
plus the little envelopes and booklets inside the have to nudge me. Overall I’m waiting for the 803-233-4750 make offer 97 HARLEY DAVIDSON 1200 custom, forward time Lynn Madden Century 21 @ 318-5176
hard case have never been opened, and are in right person to be a new friend. controls, straight pipes, bag brackets & bags,
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SHANDON/ROSEWOOD FOR THE person $167,000! Call Damon Hubert @ 608-5880, Rus- floor, and refurbished hardwood floors thru- account management experience. Please re- position. Kitchen exp. helpful, great hrs., Mon- PIANO CAMP. 2 hr sessions $15. Group piano,
who desires privacy! Cozy, Part. furnished, gar. sell & Jeffcoat. outÊhouse. Large fenced backyard with 2-car view www.scproball.com then submit your re- Fri, no evenings, no weekends. Apply at Fat Cat Computerized theory. 20 yrs exp. Call 269-8232
apt. LR. BR. Kit. w/all appl. Bath. w/ shower & carport. Great school district.ÊCall Desmond sume to jobs@scproball.com for consideration. Cafe 1202 Sumter St. .
LG closet. Private entry, $400/mo & util. Call DOWNTOWN ELMWOOD PARK 3BR/2BA, Lewis of Asset Realty @ 422-7001. Pay is 15% and the average item sold is $1000.
803-771-7818 LR, DR eat in kitchen, ceiling fans, CH/A, cov- Columbia Rottweiler Basketball, Inc. DUE TO OUR tremendous growth, we are PRIVATE PIANO LESSONS $65/MO. Call 803-
ered parking, alarm. $1200/mo. Call 446-6263 Northeast Farm House Great for horses! 3 currently hiring RN’s LPN’s, CMA’s and expe- 269-8232.
301 WHALEY ST. 2BR duplex, newly renovat- BR/2.5 BA, 2358 sq. ft. with additional 1219 EXP. BARTENDER & manager needed. Call rienced medical receptionist. FT and on an as
ed, CH/A, hdw floors, new appli., dishwasher, DOWNTOWN ELMWOOD PARK 1BR in four- heated unfinished basement (with 1/2 bath), ad- 429-6356 for an appointment. needed basis. Columbia Staffing & Health Care Motley Crue EXP. VOCALIST SEEKS musi-
garbage disposal, ice maker, $600/mo. Avail. in plex, hdw’s, ceiling fans, W/D conn., window ditional smaller 2 BR home, 4 stall horse barn Services offers: A flexible work schedule that cians for Motley Crue tribute band. Cell: 843-
July 1st. Call 803-414-2990 units, $550/mo. Call 446-6263 & timber with beautiful landscaping (with a little HEATING/AIR HELPERS $8/hr M-F. Individuals meets your needs Opportunities to work at vari- 910-1292. Email:seanmeu@gmail.com.
TLC.) Must see to appreciate. Call Brenda for needed to help local heating and air company. ous hospitals, medical sites and /oradministra-
SINGLE DOWNTOWN GIRL Great downtown DUTCH SQUARE AREA Briargate Condo a showing at Century 21-Bob Capes Realtors, Must have own hard-hat, driver’s license and tive offices Bonuses Â¥ 5 paid holidays per year FIDDLE LESSONS: LEARN traditional Irish mu-
location. 2 min from vista and five points. Right 2BR/1BA, nice cond., updated kitchen, asking 803-243-1394 own transportation. Inside and outside work. Health Insurance Coverage under the company’ sic on fiddle/violin. Andi 254-3461 andihearn@
around the corner from USC. Walking trails, $28,500. 803-345-1410. Must be able to work in the weather. Apply im- Workers Compensation Program Friendly Staff yahoo.com
park, pool, laundry and gym. Private bedroom 1BR/1BA, FIVE POINTS 1BR/1BA, DW, Northeast Spring Valley Wonderful 4br/2.5ba mediately! Call Angie @ 798-0556 Come by and meet our staff at the Expo or you
and private full bath. Huge walk in closets. Fur- deck, hrwd floors, formal dining room. $495 per w/ pool, large covered patio & privacy fence. may call our office at 803-782-2000. Please fax FOR SALE FENDER Hot Rod Deluxe w/ cover,
nished. Rent, cable and utilites $325. Road run- mo. Call 803-261-9007 Formal LR & DR, large kitchen & FR.Ê317 Park ELECTRICIANS & HELPERS Needed for im- or email your resume to yshull@columbiastaff- like new. $500. Pair of 402 PA Bose speakers,
ner avalible. Call Michelle at 803-446-4347 Shore Dr. East-$269,900 Call Loretta Starr, R & mediate, local work. Great pay & bonuses! Must ing.com or fax 803-743-9428 250 watts each. Exc. cond., $500. Call 707-
NORTHEAST THE SUMMIT 4BR/2BA, 2 story, J, 269-8363 have driver’s license and own transportation. 8977
DOWNTOWN ELMWOOD PARK 1BR w/ garage, all appli. inclu., $1300. Please call 803- Call Angie @ 798-0556 to apply! DUMP TRUCK DRIVER needed. 2 yrs verifi-
study, hdw’s, ceiling fans, plantation blinds, bal- 665-2825 Rosewood 626 S. Beltline Brick, 3bd/1.5ba, able exp. w/ CDL Class B license. Clean driving ISO LEAD GUITAR player for established tour-
cony, private deck, D/W, W/D, CH/A, $675/mo. $119,900. Call Ashby Chase, Prudential Pal- EXPERIENCED FLOOR INSTALLERS needed. record. Must pass drug screen. Call Mickey at ing band. Must be able to sing lead & backup
Call 446-5263 ROSEWOOD 510 TYLER St. NEW 3BR/2BA metto 803-240-3428 Insurance and References required. Contact the 803-771-8018. and play a variety of music, have passport &
Custom Home w/10 Yr Warranty, Hardwoods, manager at 803-736-8111 or 803-781-9022. travel out of the country. 803-261-9783. Please
FOREST ACRES. 1515 Forest Trace Dr. French Doors, Screened Porch, Fenced Yard, Rosewood 721 S. Beltline Blvd. 4 beds 3 ELECTRICIANS/HELPERS FOR F/T construc- send resume to Playerstouring or email player-
Charming 4BD/2BA Cape Cod home on quiet Deck, Vaulted Ceilings, All Upgrades, Faces full baths, dining room, den, screen porch, EXPERIENCED PAINTERS Needed for local tion company. Exp. Req’d. Top pay + benefits. stouring@aol.com
cul-de-sac. Large fenced backyard, storage Park! Only $178,000! Open House Sunday 1-5 carport, detached rec room plus storage. Eat- commercial and residential work. Must have Call 803.454.1037.
shed, deck, two wooded streams! Bay window pm. Call 466-8809 in kitchen,Êall appliances. Extra large lot. driver’s license and own transportation. Pay LEAD GUITARIST NEEDED. Background vo-
in eat-in kitchen, living room w/brick fireplace, $179,000. The Knight Co. Please call Burton DOE. Apply immediately! Call Angie @ 798- EXP. STEEL FRAME building erectors needed cals, some lead a plus. Prefer 40 years old & up.
dining room, laundry & master suite on first floor. ST. ANDREWS STUDIOS, 2 & 3 bedrooms Fowles at (803) 600-6479. 0556 for full time construction co. Must have DL & SIO. Call 803-360-4832 LM, someone will call
Walk-in closets & ample storage. Zoned for available. Mention ad & get $10 off app. fee. pass DT. Call 803-454-1037 you back.
award-winning Satchel Ford school. Lovely fam- Come take advantage of our great deals. Cy- Rosewood Completely Renovated! 2 Story IMMEDIATE OPENINGS! Administrative & Ex- PRIVATE MUSIC LESSONS: PRIVATE MUSIC
ily home in a great neighborhood for kids, pets press Run Apts. 3430 Broad River Rd. Call 803- w/Fantastic Kitchen, High Ceilings, Hardwoods, ecutive Assistants, CSR’s, Data Entry, Recep- FLEXIBLE LIGHT INDUSTRIAL applicants for LESSONS: Clarinet, Flute, Piano, Keyboard. 20
or just relaxing after a long day. $174,900. Call 216-9888 4BR/3BA, 2900 sq ft. $299k, isellthistown.com tionists, Accounting. Call Melissa at 798-0556 packing and assembly. Call 782-0082 years experience. All ages & levels. Call 477-
Cory Upton with Nancy Bradley & Associates 3br/2ba $130,000 Downtown 4803 MFH @ 454-2906 for an appointment. 3299.
803-429-3842 Luvalie St. 3Bd/2 bath, Hardwoods, 9Ft. Smooth EXP. BANQUET SERVERS Needed immediate-
ceilings, Maple cabinets, Deck, Oversized win- PAWLEYS ISLAND, LITCHFIELD, Litchfield MECHANICS/ASSEMBLERS Positions avail- ly. Must have prev. waitress or banquet serving PROFESSIONAL BASSIST MIKE FROST for-
SHANDON CLOSE TO USC 2 BR/1 BA in a du- dows, Hip lighting, Stainless steel stove, hood by the Sea & Debordieu, SC Affordable house/ able in manufacturing environment for individu- exp. Please call Rose at 782-2000 mer student of JACO PASTORIUS, available for
plex, HVAC. $495/mo + dep. Call 803-238-0047 and dishwasher, Ceramic tile in baths, Stained condo rentals. Beach vacations start here www. als with air-tool experience, such as air wrench- performances, recording and lessons. All styles,
glass door, Berber in bedrooms, Pottery barn lachicotte.com For availability call 1-800-422- es, sockets, etc. Auto mechanic experience a Lifeguards! FORT JACKSON IS looking for a all levels. mcfrost.com, karmictiempo.com 803-
SHANDON NEAR 5 PTS Large 1 BR/1BA, colors! Only $130,000.00, 20 other lots to 4777 plus. Driver’s license, stable work history and few good Lifeguards! Salaries are $7.50 to $14 644-8655, cell 631-252-4359
HVAC, hdwd floors. $525/mo + dep. Call 803- choose from, can custom build! Call Rhett An- own transportation req’d. Call Angie @ 798- per hour. When: Season starts May 26 How: Ap-
238-0047 ders 238-5684 or go to www.rentcolumbia.com NORTH MYRTLE BEACH, VISIT us online for 0556 to apply! ply at Fort Jackson NAF Office Building, 5450 Bass player looking for band or dedicated mu-
Spring & Summer Vacation Specials. Free 111- Strom Thurmond Blvd or apply online at www. sicians. Ready to cover and do originals. Story of
CAYCE 540 HUDSON Ave. Great starter home. 3 BR/2 BA 145K Downtown EAR- page vacation planner. Oceanfront private beach PART TIME WAIT STAFF WANTED Small cafe/ jackson.army.mil & go to the NAF employment the year, Three days grace. Call 803-233-4123.
3-4BR/1BA, completely renovated. Deck & LEWOOD 3 BR/2 BA. Built 1996, exc. cond. cottages & condominiums. Book on line www. restaurant needs wait person Monday-Friday link, fill the application out online. Certification Ask for Cliff.
large backyard. $67,000. Call 808-8474 or email FSBO, $145,000. (803) 530-7653 more info at: elliottbeachrentals.com 1-866-878-2754. 11 am - 2 pm. No nights or weekends. Could class scheduled for June 5-9. For additional info
bdrennon@sc.rr.com www.owners.com/tpa4691 potentially expand to full time for someone with call Brad Gunter at 751-4796 or Mike Elkins at Christian Band looking for drummer and lead
FOREST ACRES 3BR/2BAbrick 1st shift exp. grill cook. team worker. excel- food preparation skills. Previous experience 751-7146. Do not wait Apply NOW! guitarist. Influences Third Eye Blind, Better than
FOREST ACRES 3BR/2BA , brick, fireplace, Laurel Hill - 605 Laurel Hill Lane, 1728 heated lent pay & benefits. Apply in person. Comptons helpful, but not as important as a good attitude. Ezra, Cutless, etc. Call Kevin at 803-413-4888.
hrwd floors, 1600 sq ft close to Fort Jackson. sq ft, 3 BD/2 BA, Finished rm downstairs with Please apply in person to Cafe Paradiso, 1305 HOTEL HOUSEKEEPERS NEEDED. Experi-
$134,900, call Jerome at (803) 467-5822 french doors, leading out to outside patio, walk
in laundry room, hardwoods, gas fireplace in
great rm, garden tub in, master, and walk-in
Employment Assembly Street.

CAROLINA CATERING LOOKING for a Spe-

enced required. Call Pride Staff 782-0082

LPNS AND RNS. Now accepting applications

FUNKY DRUMMER NEEDED: Talented gui-
tarist/singer looking for experienced funky ass
drummer who knows how to jam and is ready to
ST. ANDREWS/IRMO/HARBISON 4 BR, 2.5BA
Cape Cod Style House off of St. Andrews Blvd. closet. Call Shelly Davis at 960-2999 Kitchen, 118 B Ave. W. Columbia. cialty Cook and Wait Staff with 3 to 4 yrs. exp for temporary assignments throughout SC. Me- gig. No drugs. Call 803-331-7285
& next to Irmo High School. Kitchen appliances, in a high volume catering business to follow dustrial Healthcare Service. 454-0340
dining area, living room. 2 BR down, 2 Up. Big Renaissance Plaza 1310 Pulaski St. in the John Paul’s Now hiring exp. kitchen staff. Day recipes and/or product directions for a Univer- NOW HIRING DELIVERY NOW HIRING Guitarist Needed!! Alt Rock band in Columbia
fenced in back yard. Dead end street. 5 minutes Vista! Live/work unit. 700 sq.ft. retail/office with and nighttime availability. Apply in person at sity setting. Requires complete knowledge of all DELIVERY drivers & receivers. FT/PT for St. in need of a dedicated, seasoned, knowledge-
to Harbison shopping! Rent is $975 + security 1500 sq. ft. living space. Living space has 3 1215 Assembly St. kitchen equipment and sanitization procedures. Andrews restaurant. Good $$$! Call Mr. Lin @ able guitarist that can play lead & rhythm. Previ-
deposit; Call 828-582-9144 or 803-348-3381 for beds.,2.5 baths, granite counters, stainless ap- We offer a competitive benefits package. We ac- 803-479-0098. ous stage experience a must. Ages 19 - 28 only!
more info! Available NOW! pliances, hardwoods, balcony. Walk to Trustus/ Moe’s Grapevine Italian is hiring for all posi- cept applications Tuesday - Thursday from 10a - SIO, call 803-767-3512, LM.
Publix. Listed at $575,000.00 Call Rhett Anders tions. Exp. preferred. Apply at 4478 Rosewood 2p: 1600 Hampton St. ANNEX, #310 Columbia, SERVERS, HOSTESSES/CASHIERS - Flexible
HARBISON 3BR/2BA, 1600 sq ft, w/lrg. fenced 238-5684 or www.rentcolumbia.com SC 29208 EOE hours, no grave yard shifts, no tip sharing. Email LOOKING FOR Bass player for established
in back yard. $1200/mo. Avail. July 1. 803-422- Servers, Hostesses/Cashiers - Flexible hours, arsalco@aol.com or apply in person at 7719 Two jam band . Shows booked. Orig. & Dead covers.
9585. 1001 Carola Avenue Close in, quiet 4 Street no grave yard shifts, no tip sharing. Email ar- A SERVER AND a host position are now avail- Notch Rd. or 813 St. Andrews Rd. If you don’t like Grateful Dead, you need not ap-
neighborhood. Large brick house built for en- salco@aol.com or apply in person at 7719 Two able at Gervais & Vine. Exp. required. Apply in ply. Call 803-446-5747.
MOBILE HOME..SALE..SUMTER 12x52 MH tertaining. 4 Bedrooms, 3.5 baths, LR,DR,Den, Notch Rd. or 813 St. Andrews Rd. person after 2 pm at 620 Gervais St. STUDENTS! /BETWEEN JOBS/LOOKING for
Very Clean, $3000.00 Located In Sumpter in Screened porch and patio, 2 car detached ga- part time work? Flexible schedule. Day, eve- RHYTHM GUITARIST NEEDED Lead a plus!
Mobile Home Park. Call Angie at: 803-513-7060 rage, 2 Basements! Hardwoods, Butlers pantry, Villa Tronco is seeking exp. lunch & dinner wait ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE NEEDED for television nings & weekends. Really No Selling. Pleasant Rock. Blues. Improv. Call Tim 803-518-9633.
Huge laundry room, Large Kitchen, Wall safe. In- staff. Apply in person at 1213 Blanding St., 803- advertising sales. Work full or part time. Gener- working conditions. Call Kate 799-5740 or David
SWM SEEKS SAME to share two bedroom apt. terior just painted and exterior trim. $169,900.00 256-7677. ous commission based pay. Sales exp. preferred 779-1871 Saluda Cymbals & Drum Works Custom Made
near the zoo. Approximately $450 per month Call Rhett Anders/BCPM 238-5684 or go to but will consider goal oriented, focused individu- Cymbals and Drums Everything for your Drum
including utilities, cable and Internet. Small de- www.rentcolumbia.com Willy’s Now hiring all positions. Fun relaxed at- als with no prior sales exp. Call 803-446-7083 SUMMER WORK GREAT Pay Immediate Set Used gear too - We take trade-ins 776-6898
posit required. Must be open minded. Call 360- mosphere. Stop by & apply today! 1200 Lincoln for more info. openings, customer sales/svc, no exp. nec, 2651-B Shop Road
3329 or email at JSLuna3@aol.com. Forest Acres 2326 Harrison Road $151,900. St., in The Vista. conditions apply, all ages 17+. 798-8377
Charming 3 BR/2 BA home, on large lot with pri- CEMENT FINISHERS/ROD BUSTERS for F/T PRIVATE MUSIC LESSONS: Flute, Clarinet,
WEST COLUMBIA 766 AUGUSTA ST. 2 BR/1 vacy fence. Less than 2 yrs old! Cathedral ceil- Carpenters/helpers for F/T construction com- construction company. Exp. req’d. Top pay + THE RHYTHM METHOD Established blues & Piano, Keyboard. 20 yrs experience. All ages &
BA across from beautiful park. $450/mo + dep. ings, fireplace in Great Rm, 2 car garage, deck in pany. Exp. ReqÕd. Top pay + benefits. Call benefits. Call 803-454-0457 levels. Call 477-3299
Call 803-238-0047 rear. Beautifully painted interior, home warranty
included. Call Shelly Davis/ R & J @ 960-2999.
803.454.0340.
GOT A KNACK at fashion & decor? Fun, Fast, Musicians 5 guitars for sale New: Dean DBD, Squier Strat
RUSSELL & JEFFCOAT Realtors is pleased to forest acres 3br/2ba fireplace/sunrf Construction Company now hiring for: Gen- Friendly PT/FT positions, mail/email resume w/amp and more, OLP w/extras, Washburn
announce Ruth Marcus as our Columbia East
Agent of the Week. Ruth can be reached at 3BR HOUSE FOR SALE!!!! Lovely home
eral Laborers, Carpenters & helpers, Plumbers only. Capital City Consignments, 224 O’Neil
& helpers, Sheet Metal Mechanics & helpers, Court, Col. SC, 29223 or consignments@bell-
Wanted Lyon. Used: Aria. $130+ Call (704)747-4262.

803.252.2525 w/flowing open floor plan. Vaulted ceiling and CNC/grinder operators. Must have DL and pass south.net. BOSS DRUM MACHINE $100. Call 767-6178
dramatic staircase in Greatroom. Ceramic tile DT. Call 454-0340. rock band needs lead singer. Exp. and/or musi-
5 BEDROOM, 3 FULL BATHS House to rent. 5 kitchen opens to nice keeping room w/fireplace. NEW UPSCALE SALON coming to The Vista cal abilities a plus. Call Eric 803-665-9948 Steinways Baby Grand piano. Mahogany. Ex-
br, 3 full baths . $1050 per month plus deposit. Huge deck across back of home and big hot tub seeks Cosmetologist & Nail Tech for booth rent- cellent condition, $21,000 OBO. Must sell due
Looking for students/young professionals to in fully fenced back yard w/storage shed. HUGE Need a Babysitter?Available Fri 7pm-2am & als. Please call 803-771-0680. DRUMMER AND BASSIST NEEDED Looking to move.Licensed Massage Therapist #4326
share. Call Chris at 803-960-4451. 2nd bedroom and nice MBA w/garden tub and Sat 7pm-2am in my home. Call Sherry @ 665- for a drummer and bassist for garage-metal- Licensed Massage Therapist #4326 In home
separate shower. Please contact my realtor: 8295 for more info SUMMER JOB SERVICE Company seeks re- rock band ala QOTSA. Nothing too serious just appt. for the same $$ as a spa! Call Elaine at
NORTHEAST WINDSOR LAKE area. 3BD/ http://www.cdsfinehomes.com/158299 sponsible person to deliver flyers in subdivisions. Rock-n-Roll. 803-237-7480 397-3429
3BA, ranch, really nice. Appliances 1 yr old, “The Finer Things...” Christy Duffell-Seguin N/E Area. Now hiring Cooks, Drivers, Serv- 40 hours a week. Good Drivers License needed.
fenced in back yard. Easy access to I-77, close Realtor Century 21 Bob Capes Realtors 271 ers, and Cashiers. Weekly pay. Apply in person. $8.00 hr. Call 794-8078 or apply in person at 131 GUITARIST LOOKING AROUND Post-punk VOICE LESSONS ROCK MUSIC SCHOOL
to Ft. Jackson. $900/mo. + deposit. Call Chris Columbia Ave Chapin, SC 29036 christy@cds- 100 F Pontiac Business Center Drive, Elgin, SC State Street. West Columbia seeks others for beautiful noise. 251-0240 Rock band classes and private lessons. Ages
at 479-2958. finehomes.com tel: 803-345-1094 mobile: 803- 29045 8 & Up Guitar Drums Bass 207 S. Prospect
665-2144 ANSWERING SERVICE SEEKING operators KEYBOARD PLAYER. CLASSIC Rock. Twice St. 803-787-0150 www.columbiarockacademy.
POINT ARCADIA 3BD/3BA condo, secluded w/ excellent verbal & typing skills. Fulltime 3pm- weekly. Call Larry 794-7042. com
area, cul-de-sac, lake access. Newly renovated, Forest Acres 3533 Foxhall Road FSBO 3 br or SUPERVISOR NEEDED FOR mobile home 11:00pm to include weekends & holidays. Call Unbelievable Bats! Join us at Sesquicentennial
new stove & DW, new countertops in all baths. 2br w/den, 2 baths, formal lr w/ gas logs, formal park. Includes mobile home for self. Leesville 251-2882 (EOE) BASS PLAYER NEEDED Christain Bass player
Private patio. $92,000. Call Chris @ 479-2958/ dr,refinished hdwd floors throughout, sunroom,
Owner agent. updated kithen & baths, brick w/vinyl trim, new
area, exit 44 off I-20. 894-7465, Mike
AUDIO/TV TECHNICIAN WITH experience.
needed for Christain Rock ministry. Songs writ-
ten. Looking for someone who is not afraid to Reader
appliances including w & d, alarm, manicured BOOTH RENTAL OPPORTUNITIES in a new Paid on commission. Call Graham’s TV Service stand up and play for God. SIO. Call Steve at
4BD/2.5BA RENOVATED apt. Deck, new kitch- yard, Satchelford school, $175,000.Call Rick or
en appl., just minutes from USC. Rent includes Joe @ 787-5056.
upscale salon. Great location. Please call 781- 803-791-1231
6426
803-446-9847, or 803-368-1226 Notice
water, cable, Internet, & phone. Avail. Aug. 1. AUTO DETAILER NEEDED. Experience only! BASS PLAYER & lead guitar player needed for
$445/mo. per bedroom. Call 803-586-1249. Forest Acres 3801 Linbrook Dr. 3 beds 2 full ESTIMATOR ASSISTANT $10/hr to start. Ex- Management possibilities. Call 447-6873 established working band in Columbia area. Set State Park as we dispel the myths about bats
baths. Total renovation. Open floor plan. Family cellent entry-level position for an individual with I-commerce and audition call 803-422-3148 (Chapin area), and tell you the surprising truth about these
5 pts area. 3BR/2BA,ROOMMATE NEEDED IN room with cathedral ceiling, dining room w/ sky a desire to succeed and is career-minded. Great LM. fascinating animals. Pre-registration is required.
Shandon/5 pts area. 3BR/2BA, $425/mo. Call light, kitchen with eat-in, all appliances including local contractor has a need for an individual with CNA SPRING FORWARD into a new career in To register *{color:red}call (803) 788-8332, e-
446-9819 W&D, garage, deck, fence, large lot on corner. good math and computer skills. Call Angie @ just 3 weeks! DHEC Certified Nursing Assistant DRUMMER LOOKING FOR working band. mail sesqui@scprt.com, or respond to this ad.*
$188k. The Knight Co. Please call Burton Fowles 798-0556. Fax resume to 731-7771 or email to Course. Get $10.00 off with this ad. Call 782- Rock/Jazz/Blues. Infu: Beatles, Dylan & Spring- Adults must accompany children 15 and under.
ROSEWOOD 1 BR, enclosed patio, lots of stor- (803) 600-6479 angie@jermanpersonnel.com 8404 ext. 551 for more info. and class sched- steen. Call Bobby 803-553-9022 h4. SCHEDULE: * June 23, 2006, 8:00 PM - 9:00
age, dishwasher. $420/mo. Call 319-1988 or ules. Columbia Health Care Services PM * July 7, 2006, 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM * July 14,
782-9927 Forest Acres DRUID HILLS 2448 Reynolds MAYWATER ISO DRUMMER. SIO. We’re a 2006, 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Dr.-Spacious 2 bd/1ba, 1400+ s.f. Call Ashby Football Cook DO YOU HAVE Team Spirit? If working band. Call 446-9819
W. COLUMBIA PINE Ridge $230’s. Wow! Chase, Prudential Palmetto Realtors 803-240- you enjoy the spirit of competition, would like to
Rare find. Brand new on large lot, 4 Br, Colum- 3428 Sales Manager Executive Sales be free to express your creativity & work for a ALL TYPES OF musicians & singers wanted for www.weeklytissue.com A new t-shirt with
biaHomes4Sale.com. Sylvia @ 699-2233 RE Manager Needed immediately for Radio Net- company that values diverse backgrounds. So- a Christian band/ministry. To travel and be a a Columbia, SC issue each week!
Northeast 413 Fore Avenue 3 bed/2 bath work in Columbia South Carolina. Must be able dexho is the company for you! We are accept- part of a music ministry and possibility of a local
Partners.
home near Two Notch Clemson intersection. to develop a team and sell well. Great compen- ing applications for a Football Cook who will be church youth service. Call Kevin @ 413-4888. www.weeklytissue.com
1538 SUNSET BLVD. 1000 sq ft. retail space. Large Fenced-In Lot with 2 storage sheds. Also sation package for qualified candidate. Possible req’d to prepare meals from beginning to end,
Great visibility. Parking. Recently renovated. Call has Fireplace and Washer/Dryer connections. national sales. Hurry! Call Bruce or Andy at 1- be involved w/menu planning, transport & cost- LEAD GUITAR PLAYER needed immediately! Paying $100 or more for an
Lisa Moore 348-0601 Call Charlie Irick 269-4235. Prudential Palmetto 803-255-8013. Eoe ing. Looking for someone who can be flexible Vocals a plus. Must have good attitude. SIO.
Realtors with their schedule. If interested please submit Call 318-7291. advertisement this size?
4BD TOWNHOUSE IN Forest Acres. $400+$150 resume and two references via fax to 803-777- post free at
for util. If interested call 803-315-5601. Northeast 7904 Springpond Road All brick HIRING IMMEDIATELY Account Executives 6601, be sure to RE: Football Cook. ISO 2 DRUM teachers. Apply @ Saluda’s Drum www.columbiacitypaper.com