Bis de et qui simi, aligenia

sequiam re, aliquod igen-

damus secatio eiuntisime
Namus enissequas eataque
esequis volor simus deli

Ro et estiorum est latem fugia sam fugit re-

mollit expedite sequi audae ped miliciis et ea nis
sum ipsam ant ullia consequodit pora sime ex-
peri nus adignimusam quibus sit ent reptate sa
cume pro mod quae eos sinulpa rumquis sectem
sitiusandit aut vitio. Ut aut voluptatia venda
pores adignihil ipsa volupie nducienis quaeri-
busda quaestibus, sit, officto offic to dolesci de-
lecto venimusdae con rereiur?

Sum volorae quam, ommos demporiasit, ute-

mpos simillessum, offic totatur? Bore pedignihil
earum quas isTem sere, occus con comnis pe
debis et offic te mint, ommos accus.Es utata inis
quid quiatquo veribusti odis ese aceat endae
comnimpor asimo magnit am re doluptat quias
autatior modit prehend andandit,
 M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e
When I’m Gone
© Copyright 2018 by ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form
or any electronic means, including information storage or retrieval systems
without permission in writing from ABS-CBN Publishing Inc.

Author Neil Jed Castro

Editor Kuiejor Garces
Creative Director Rainer Montevirgen
Illustrator Anna Terrenal
Editorial Coordinator Carl Chudian
Editorial Assistant Angel Manalo
This is about someone
President Ernesto L. Lopez
Managing Director Mark J. Yambot who never gave up on
Head, Retail Operations Ma. Kristine V. Hernandez
Textual Landscaper Alexie Renz M. Cruz
love and life…
Pre-Press Production Manager Andy Lizardo
Digital Imaging Supervisor Gil Cargason
Digital Artist Mark Gregory Casabar
Production Coordinator Jouie Mar Doca

Head of Lifestyle Ecosystem Paolo M. Pineda

Sr. Finance Officer-Narrowcast Myca G. Ramos
Finance Manager Rowena Dote
Finance Analyst Camille Batongbakal

Published by

8F ELJCC BuildingMother Ignacia St. cor. Eugenio Lopez Drive Quezon City, Philippines
And this is
her story…
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl whose She now questions her worth—no thanks to those
w o r t h l e s s p e o p l e . S h e f e e l s b a d a b o u t h e r s e l f. H e r
d r e a m s s e e m t o h a v e d i e d , a n d n o w, s h e f e e l s l i k e
world is starting to h e r v e r y e x i s t e n c e i s a d i s a s t e r. S h e f e e l s t h a t s h e ’ s
such a big failure. She has been losing interest in
all the things that she loved doing before. When
cave in. people ask her how she feels, she simply cannot
articulate her feelings. She cannot describe the
turbulence she feels inside. She is now a sad girl…
a very sad and insecure girl—someone who needs
validation from people. She badly needs to be
a c c e p t e d b y t h o s e a r o u n d h e r. W h a t ’ s m o r e , s h e
has learned how to fake her emotions.

S h e w i l l t e l l y o u t h a t s h e i s o k a y. S h e w i l l e v e n
She was once a happy girl— flash a smile, but deep inside, she is breaking into
carefree and free-spirited. She pieces. She wants to shout, but nothing comes out
used to flash an ever-ready sweet of her mouth other than sighs of desperation. She
smile. She had dreams—big wants to shout as loud as possible so people will
dreams—but she did not realize know that she is struggling, but her voice simply
that the world is bigger and refuses to cooperate. She feels that everything she
q u i t e s c a r y. does is pointless. She thinks that she is living a
purposeless life. Her mind is clouded with doubts
But everything changed when and what ifs.
she sensed rejections from
people… when they started to Pe o p l e would
j u d g e h e r. A f t e r a l l t h e t h i n g s t h e y
d i d t o h e r, s h e c o u l d n e v e r b e t h e
often tell her to
be happy and let She is the
same girl anymore… go of negative
thoughts.
would tell
They
her
girl who has
to move forward
and stop
dramatic.
being
But
been battling
depression.
what they fail to

6 7
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

r e a l i z e i s t h a t s h e i s t r y i n g s o h a r d t o b e h a p p y. in mind that cloud any zest for life. As a matter

She is doing her best to forget her worries, but
sometimes, it is way too hard to fight against her
own thoughts. It is way too hard to fight the feeling
of emptiness that gets heavier and heavier each
d a y. S h e f e e l s l o n e l y a n d h e r g l o o m g e t s d a r k e r
e v e r y d a y. S h e g e t s s l o w l y c o n s u m e d i n s i d e e v e r y
s i n g l e d a y.
of fact, she now hates life so much… enough to
w a n t t o e n d i t . S u i c i d e ? Ye s , t h a t t o h e r i s a v e r y
tempting thought! The thought of killing herself as
a solution to end all of her sufferings has now and
then been invading her mind.

Her enemy gets worse at night. She hates the

deafening silence. She can hardly sleep at night.
She is continually bothered by her own thoughts.
She wakes up in the middle of the night with cold
hands and sweaty feet. She hears her thoughts
racing. When morning comes, she feels the need to
sleep again. She feels tired of everything.

She is tired of people showing her fake love and

fake friendship. She has grown sick and tired of
those people who often tell her that they will be
t h e r e f o r h e r, b u t c a n n o t b e f o u n d w h e n s h e n e e d s
them the most.

She is tired of fake friends who show up only

w h e n t h e y n e e d s o m e t h i n g f r o m h e r. T h o s e p e o p l e
whom she expects support from are the ones pulling
her down.

She is tired of people who judge her without

knowing the real story… those who know nothing
about her struggles and her vulnerabilities in life.

She is losing focus. The future is too uncertain

f o r h e r. S h e g e t s t o o i n d e c i s i v e . S h e c a n n o t c o m p o s e
her thoughts very well. She has dark thoughts

8 9
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She has a lot of a n y c h a n c e o f h e r e v e r o p e n i n g u p t o y o u . Yo u a r e

only adding to the burden that has been weighing
her down. If she could only buy happiness, she
“maybes”… w o u l d ! U n f o r t u n a t e l y, t h a t w o u l d n ’ t b e p o s s i b l e .

She does not need much. She only needs people

to make her feel that she matters. She only wants to
“Maybe you’ll start caring when I am gone…” f e e l t h a t y o u w a n t h e r c o m p a n y. S h e j u s t w a n t s y o u
to embrace who she is—flaws and all! She wants
“Maybe you’ll start seeing my worth when I am lying to feel valued, because for so long, she had been
in the coffin…” treated like dirt.

“Maybe you’ll start loving me when I cannot anymore

say a word…”

“Maybe you’ll start accepting me when I am dead…”

“Maybe I will start hearing good words from people

when I can no longer reciprocate…”

“Maybe I’m better off dead…”

She wants to end her life, but she cries for help,
too, deep inside. (It must be the survival instinct
n a t u r a l a m o n g h u m a n s . ) A c t u a l l y, s h e w a n t s p e o p l e
to know that she is not just overacting. They should
u n d e r s t a n d t h a t i t i s n o t h e r c h o i c e t o b e t h i s w a y.
S h e i s f i g h t i n g h e r d e m o n s e v e r y s i n g l e d a y.

D o y o u k n o w h e r ? Re a l l y k n o w h e r ? A h ! B u t y o u
o n l y k n o w h e r s u p e r f i c i a l l y. Yo u d o n ’ t k n o w a t h i n g
about what she has been through and about what
h a s b e e n a i l i n g h e r e a c h d a y.
Fo r e v e r y j u d g m e n t y o u h u r l a t h e r, y o u c h o k e

10 11
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the perfect

definition of ironic.
She is good at loving, but she always feels
unloved–taken for granted. When she loves, she
gives her all so she will not end up with regrets.
She loves fiercely and is willing to take the risks.
She is willing to do everything just to make the
r e l a t i o n s h i p w o r k a n d m a k e t h e p e r s o n s t a y. S h e
is the perfect definition of someone who loves
s e l f l e s s l y.
She’ll stick it out in a relationship. She keeps
holding on no matter how tough the journey gets.
She holds on to promises. She does not give up
even if she is the only one fighting to keep the
relationship—even up to that point that she gets
t o s t o o p t o o l o w. S h e m a y e v e n d r o p t o h e r k n e e s
f o r h e r b e l o v e d t o s t a y. S h e d o e s n o t c a r e a b o u t
looking stupid. That is how brave she is in love.
She loves genuinely but her love is never
reciprocated. Sometimes, she questions herself: “Is
there is something wrong with me?”
She apologizes even if it is not her fault. She
always ends up as the one willing to give more…
to sacrifice. She always sees the good side in you.
She forgives you even if you do not deserve it. She
forgives without waiting for you to apologize. She
does not nurse grudges.
She has a big heart. A heart that is brave, patient,
and hardworking. A heart that almost always end
up getting hurt.
She gives multiple chances even before you ask
for it—without hesitation that she will end up
broken again. She gives chances because she knows
that you will change. She does not lose hope at all
that you will soon be that good person that you
naturally are.

Loser! She feels bad for being always, always

dumped despite all her efforts to love hard and
give her best.
She is the girl
She ends up always asking: “How could he have
sounded so sincere in his promises when all along
he could have just been taking me for a ride?” with a big heart.
And then, she ends up hurting because she had
invested too much.

12 13
 Neil Jed Castro
She is the girl
who has a lot
of questions.
“When will I be truly happy?”
“Will someone be willing to accept
and love me for who I am?”
“A m I n o t g o o d e n o u g h ? ”
“Why did you leave me?”
Her mind is clouded with questions
that need answers.
She has a lot of “what ifs” at this
very moment.
14
M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e
She is the girl who
c o n s t a n t l y f e e l s s o r r y.
She feels sorry for not being the best girl. She
feels like she is not beautiful enough. She feels like
she is way too replaceable. She can’t help but wish
to be someone else.
She feels sorry for loving too much. She feels
sorry for expecting too much… for thinking that
p e o p l e w i l l d o t h e s a m e f o r h e r. S h e f e e l s s o r r y f o r
thinking that other people have the same heart as
hers.
S h e f e e l s s o r r y f o r b e i n g t o o k i n d . Pe o p l e t e n d
to abuse her kindness. They think that she’d always
s e t t l e f o r m e d i o c r i t y.
She feels sorry for being too “low maintenance”.
Pe o p l e t h i n k t h a t s h e w i l l j u s t s e t t l e f o r s e c o n d -
rate efforts. They think that she is okay with being
treated like garbage.
She feels sorry for questioning her worth. She
h o p e s t o w a k e u p f r o m h e r a g o n i z e d s t a t e . N o w, i t
has crossed her mind that no one is actually worthy
o f h e r.
She feels sorry for chasing love and begging for
affection. She feels sorry for herself because she
15
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

knows that she deserves the best.
She feels sorry for wallowing in persistent
sadness. She tends to be emotional and she thinks
and worries too much.
She feels sorry for allowing herself to be hurt
and be broken by people who do not deserve her
love.
She is the
She thinks she is not good enough. She had been
cheated on despite how she poured out everything
that she could give. She feels so bad about these.
She is afraid to open up and care for someone again
because what happened in the past is holding her
back. She does not want to feel the horrible feeling
she felt before.
She is afraid to be attached easily because
p e o p l e ’ s f e e l i n g s n o w a d a y s a r e t e m p o r a r y. T h e y
will tell you they
love you, but the
next thing you know
is they are already
gone. She does not
want to be a victim

girl who of lies and promises

again.

thinks and She is scared to

trust anyone again
because she does
worries too not want to end up
broken and hurting

much. just like

Enough is enough!
before.

She has been through

a lot. She has a lot of
doubts in her head.
S h e d o u b t s y o u r l o v e . S h e w i l l p u s h y o u a w a y. I t
will never be easy for her to do that. It is just that
she does not want to expect too much anymore.

S h e f e a r s t h a t o n e d a y, y o u w i l l t u r n o u t t o b e
just like them. She has heard all kinds of lies and

16 17
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

sweet promises. She has heard the worst. She is

tired of fake love. She is tired of being just an
option.

She thinks and worries too much because you

a r e g i v i n g h e r r e a s o n s t o . Yo u m a k e h e r f e e l t h a t
she is not enough. She will turn cold and heartless.
S h e i s t r y i n g r e a l l y. S h e i s …

She is an insecure girl.

She feels that other girls are better than her
in all aspects. She feels that she is not pretty
enough. She does not like how she looks. She does
n o t l i k e h e r n o s e , s k i n , a n d e v e r y t h i n g a b o u t h e r.
W h e n s h e l o o k s a t t h e m i r r o r, s h e d o e s n o t l i k e t h e
reflection she sees. She does not like every bit of
her countenance and existence. If only she could
live a different life, she would.

18 19
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is an
emotional girl.
She is often called overly sensitive because
s h e g e t s e m o t i o n a l s o e a s i l y. Pe o p l e h a v e n o i d e a
about the things she had been through which made
h e r w h o s h e i s t o d a y. S h e h o l d s b a c k h e r t e a r s ,
but when no one is watching, she becomes too
vulnerable. She hides under a mask, trying to fake
her real feelings.
She pretends to be tough, but deep inside, she
is way too fragile. She would say that she does not
expect too much from someone, but deep inside, she
w a n t s t o b e c a r e d f o r s o b a d l y. S h e w a n t s p e o p l e t o
m a k e e f f o r t s f o r h e r, t o o . S h e w a n t s p e o p l e t o t a k e
c a r e o f h e r, t o o . B u t s h e c o n s t a n t l y f e e l s h e r h e a r t
breaking… again and again and again. She is not
t h e s a m e g i r l a n y m o r e , a n d t h i s s a d d e n s h e r.
She hopes her ordeal will be over soon. She
hopes that she can experience peace of mind
again… just like before… too long ago. She hopes
that she can finally move on.

She would say that she is fine, but people just

do not know how wounded she is. She is in deep
pain. She is so broken.

She would not like to show her weakness,

because she does not want people to have pity on She is the girl who
h e r. S h e d o e s n o t w a n t t o b o t h e r o t h e r p e o p l e . S h e
wants people to see that she is strong. She wants to
project that she can withstand anything.
constantly fakes a smile.

20 21
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl

who has been
left hanging.
Many things are making her sad. She is sad
about gossips about her which are not true. She
regrets having opened up to the wrong people. She
is sad about people making her feel special for a
short while, then, soon dropping her just like that. She fell for the promises.
She is sad about people
judging her past and her S h e g o t a t t a c h e d e a s i l y.
mistakes. She has already
learned her lessons. S h e i n v e s t e d a p a r t o f h e r s e l f.
She is a
She is sad because the She has a lot of whys.

sad girl. next one who will love

her might not accept her She wants to find answers.
for who she is. It saddens
her that she has been She hopes that she will be given a closure.
broken multiple times.
She is sad about a lot of things in her life. She She hopes to finally move on.
has regrets. She has fears. She surely made wrong
decisions in her life. But she knows that her light She hopes to be able to start over
will shine again. She cannot wait for the better
days to come. And relish sweet love minus the hurt.

22 23
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl who She does not deserve all the pains and sufferings
because all that she has done was to be faithful
and to love really hard. She does not keep records
has trust issues. of wrongs. She does not bring up issues anymore
because she wants peace.

She always makes sure that she supports you all

t h e w a y. S h e c o n s t a n t l y m a k e s y o u f e e l w a n t e d a n d
loved. She always lifts up your spirit when you are
down. She genuinely cares for you, because deep
down, she hopes that it would be you and her until
t h e e n d . B u t w h a t d i d y o u d o ? Yo u c h e a t e d o n h e r …
a g a i n . Yo u b r o k e h e r h e a r t a n d t o r e h e r a p a r t .
But do you know that she’ll surely doubt
your intentions, and at some point, she
will reject your love? She will not trust
you easily because she learned her lessons
t h e h a r d w a y. S h e r e a l i z e s t h a t o n e c a n n o t
t r u s t a n y o n e e x c e p t h i s o r h e r o w n s e l f.
She will be one of the hardest girls to love. She is the
She is not paranoid. It is just that her past
s h a p e d h e r t o b e t h i s w a y.
girl who
has been
cheated on.

24 25
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl She is the girl who is

who chases love. afraid to love again.

She is somehow tired of love. Every time she

She is draining her self-worth.
She seeks someone’s attention and love.
She desperately wants someone to be a
part of her life.
falls in love, she always ends up broken and
hurting. She always makes sure she treats her man
right, but then, she always ends up to be the girl
who was never good enough. She always ends up
disappointed, because every time she opens up to
someone, she tends to be left out in the process.
She has been so scared of yet one more chance for
one to be a part of her life. She cannot be blamed
for being skeptical. She now finds it hard to believe
in love after all she had gone through. She just
f e e l s l i k e l o v e i s n o t f o r h e r.

26 27
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl left far

behind, still struggling
to be successful.

She is really having a hard time in keeping up
with her life. She finds it difficult to comprehend
with her constant struggles over these thoughts:
Other girls her age already have a very stable
high-paying job.
Others already have successful businesses.
O t h e r s a l r e a d y o w n a c a r.
Others h a v e a s t a b l e f a m i l y.
… while she is still trying to figure out what she
really wants in life.
She is the girl who feels
love’s pressure.
Pe o p l e a l w a y s a s k w h y a t h e r a g e , s h e h a s n o t
yet settled down for good. Every time she attends
a family gathering, relatives would ask why she
has not married. Their line of questioning pushes
h e r i n o n e c o r n e r, a n d m a k e s h e r f e e l l i k e t h e r e i s
something wrong with her since nobody seems to
l i k e h e r e n o u g h t o w a n t t o m a r r y h e r.

… while she keeps on hopping from one company

t o t h e o t h e r.

… while she is still figuring out who she really

is, and is yet unsure of what she will become in the
future.

28 29
 Neil Jed Castro
She is the girl who has
been bullied.
Pe o p l e m a k e f u n o f h e r. T h e y s a y n a s t y t h i n g s
a b o u t h e r. T h e y l a u g h a b o u t h e r i m p e r f e c t i o n s a n d
past indiscretions. They mock her for not being an
ideal girl. She does not fit society’s standards of
b e a u t y a n d a c c e p t a b i l i t y. A l l t h e s e h a v e b e e n h e r
constant struggles.
N o o n e s e e m s t o w a n t b e i n g f r i e n d s w i t h h e r.
She feels like she is a piece of a puzzle that does
not fit no matter how hard she tries to.
30
M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e
She is the girl who does
not need much.
She does not need material things from you.
S h e c a n f i n a n c e h e r s e l f. S h e o n l y n e e d s a f f e c t i o n ,
g e n u i n e l o v e , f i d e l i t y, a n d r e s p e c t . S h e d o e s n o t
n e e d e x p e n s i v e d a t e s t o m a k e h e r f e e l s p e c i a l . Yo u
d o n o t e v e n n e e d t o s e e h e r e v e r y s i n g l e d a y. N o r d o
you need to daily send her chocolates and flowers.
Even a call or a simple text asking how her day
w e n t w o u l d m e a n a l o t t o h e r. S h e o n l y n e e d s y o u
t o m a k e h e r y o u r p r i o r i t y. S h e d o e s n o t n e e d y o u r
apologies; she needs real, sincere efforts. She only
craves for your attention. She just needs little
t h i n g s t o m a k e h e r h a p p y. S h e n e e d s y o u t o l o v e
her the way she deserves to be loved.
31
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is a work in
progress.
She tries to save everyone from sadness, but no
one cheers her up when she is down. She does her
best to be there for other people, but no one lends
a hand when she is in need. She is willing to listen
t o e v e r y o n e w h o n e e d s h e r, b u t s a d l y, n o o n e s e e m s
to lend an ear when she needs one.

She makes everyone laugh, and takes away their

She works so hard for her dreams.
She made mistakes but has learned
from them.
She is an imperfect person as any
human is imperfect.
worries, yet no one seems to be there for her when
she needs someone to cheer her up. She makes an
effort to be supportive to everyone, but no one
seems to support her in anything. She can only hope
t h a t s o m e o n e w o u l d d o t h e s a m e f o r h e r, t o o .

She is capable of hurting other

people, too.

She knows that being a better

person is a constant battle.

And she knows that what her heart’s She is the girl
desires shall soon be granted.

who tries to
save everyone.

32 33
 Neil Jed Castro M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e

She is the girl who She is the girl who lost

struggled with being herself in the process of
an adult. loving someone.
Even before she finished her studies, she was She tried changing herself just to be someone’s
already excited to fulfill her dreams. She had a ideal. She tried changing the way she looks. She tried
clear vision of what the future would be for herself to change the way she speaks. She tried changing
a n d f o r h e r f a m i l y. S h e w a n t e d t o g i v e b a c k f o r a l l t h e r e a l h e r j u s t f o r s o m e o n e t o l o v e h e r. S h e t r i e d
t h e s a c r i f i c e s t h e y m a d e f o r h e r. S h e w a n t e d t o hiding her imperfections just to be accepted.
take care of them.
She lost her identity just to be loved.
But when she landed a job, she realized that
b e i n g a n a d u l t i s n e v e r e a s y. S h e w o r k e d s o h a r d
to finish her degree, yet she landed such a low-
paying job with a salary never enough to settle
her bills. She got a real taste of how it feels to
w o r k i n a n i n d u s t r y. Wo r k c o u l d r e a l l y b e t o x i c
and suffocating. From the people who wanted to
get ahead of her—politics in the workplace—to the
toxic people around, work life could really be so
stressful. It could be so draining.

She’d sleep late at night and wake up early for

the daily grind. Sometimes, she would even forget
how to breathe. She surely got to understand
that being an adult is never an easy thing. She
has to deal with life’s pressures and with people’s
expectations and idiosyncrasies.

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 Neil Jed Castro
Pe o p l e c a l l h e r a “ w a s t e d b i t c h ” .
Pe o p l e t a g h e r a s a f a i l u r e .
What they do not know is that she only wants
t o f o r g e t a b o u t t h e p a i n t e m p o r a r i l y. S h e w a n t s
to find escape from all the things going on in her
l i f e . S h e w a n t s t o b e h a p p y e v e n j u s t t e m p o r a r i l y.
She does not want to hear judgments even just for
a short while. If only she can vomit all the things
t h a t h a v e b e e n b o t h e r i n g h e r, t h e n s h e w i l l s u r e l y
d o i t . U n f o r t u n a t e l y, s h e c a n n o t . T h e m o m e n t s h e
wakes up, she is back to her old self again.
She is the girl who finds
comfort in alcohol.
36
M a y b e Yo u ’ l l L o v e M e W h e n I ’ m G o n e
She is a single mom.
Pe o p l e h a v e b e e n j u d g i n g h e r a l l h e r l i f e b e c a u s e
she got pregnant at a young age. They think that
she had ruined her future. They think that she will
never be a good mom.
She took in all the judgments and strived to be
a b e t t e r v e r s i o n o f h e r s e l f. S h e r e g r e t t e d s o m e o f
the decisions she made in the past, but she never
regretted having a child.
H e r c h i l d m a d e h e r a s t r o n g e r v e r s i o n o f h e r s e l f.
She became more responsible and mature in life.
She became more driven to live. She found her
reason to do well in life. She will never trade her
kid for anything.
She is certainly not giving up on love, but for
n o w, t h a t i s n o t h e r p r i o r i t y. L i f e i s h a r d b e c a u s e
she was deprived of the support that she and her
child deserve, but she keeps holding on.
37