Professional Documents
Culture Documents
S
omehow they just knew. The videotaped him with a man in his dorm While Miller believes the aforemen- GAY MARRIAGE
kids in Joe Kort’s class at Oak room and then streamed the footage on tioned passage from Leviticus is open According to advocates, the Reform
Park High School seemed to the Internet. to interpretation, most members of the movement has worked for years to include
see right through him — and Orthodox community do not. In the 2001 and embrace the lesbian, gay, bisexual
they were brutal. The year documentary Trembling Before G-d, the and transgender (LGBT) community. The
was 1979 and Joe, then 15, GOD’S PLAYBOOK audience follows several gay and lesbian ordination of gays and lesbians as rabbis
was the eldest of two children growing up Orthodox Jews and their struggle to rec- and cantors is permitted in the Reform
in a Reform Jewish household where the “A man shall not lie with oncile faith and sexuality. movement, and many clergy members of-
word “gay” was never uttered. He was very Rabbi Michael Cohen, the pulpit rabbi ficiate at same-sex unions.
much “in the closet,” careful to avoid the another man as [he would] at Young Israel of Oak Park, an Orthodox Rabbi Daniel Nevins, former spiritual
openly gay students at his school who were with a woman, it is a to’eva synagogue on the same block as Miller’s, leader of Adat Shalom synagogue in Farm-
seen as “misfits” or social outcasts; but his believes the argument for gay marriage is ington Hills and the current dean of the
classmates could tell he wasn’t straight. (an abomination).” inherently flawed. Rabbinical School of the Jewish Theologi-
“I was bullied a lot. I was spit on; I “Orthodox Judaism does not provide for cal Seminary of America, co-authored a
was beaten up,” Joe recalls. “It was a very — Leviticus 18:22 the marriage of two men or two women,” legal opinion that paved the way for both
hostile environment. I didn’t play sports, Cohen says. “The Torah definitely does not same-sex commitment ceremonies as
I was around girls all the time and [the read that one can have what we call today well as ordination of gay rabbis within the
kids] used it against me as much as they a gay lifestyle.” Conservative movement.
could. It was awful.” Young Israel of Oak Park was confront- That opinion may have removed techni-
Joe says he first started to become aware ed with a related issue when a gay couple cal roadblocks for clerics to officiate at
of his sexuality at the young age of 8, from Huntington Woods applied for a marriage-like commitment ceremonies,
when he consciously found himself more family membership. The application went but support for actual marriage within the
attracted to boys than girls. As a teen, he to both the synagogue’s board and the movement is tacit, at best.
was ashamed and depressed, carrying Young Israel national council; the request The 2006 decision by the Committee of
around this monumental secret and trying was denied. Cohen says the men were of- Jewish Law and Standards, which deter-
to find a way to blend in. His mother sent fered membership as individuals, not as a mines the official positions of Conserva-
him to Jewish Family Service for outpa- couple; they declined. tive Judaism, allowed rabbis permission
tient psychotherapy. “All synagogues want to be welcoming to officiate at commitment ceremonies for
“My mom was afraid I was going to to every Jew,” he says. “At the same time, same-sex couples with sole discretion left
harm myself,” he says. “I think she knew the Torah deals with the issue of two men to either the seminary or the individual
I was gay, but she didn’t know what to do cohabitating together and having a sexual rabbi.
about it. The therapist tried to talk me out relationship — and it’s not an accepted In 2000, Joe Kort married his long-
of it. I tried dating girls, but it didn’t help. lifestyle.” time partner, Mike Cramer, in a Reform
When I went away to college, I was finally In a March 2009 Detroit News article, wedding ceremony at Congregation Shir
able to come out. But when I did, all of my Rabbi Alon Tolwin, founder of Aish Tikvah in Troy (they later got married in
Jewish friends abandoned me.” HaTorah Detroit, was more direct: “It’s Massachusetts, one of the few states where
Now a Ph.D. who is a board certified a prohibition like any other prohibition,” gay marriage is legal).
sexologist and psychotherapist, with a Rabbi Jason Miller, spiritual leader of Tolwin is quoted as saying. “It’s danger- But when Joe and Mike submitted a
private practice in Royal Oak, Kort, 47, the Reconstructionist synagogue Con- ous because as a banner issue, it attacks wedding announcement to the Detroit
says he intimately understands the pain gregation T’chiyah in Oak Park, calls for the essence of the morality we’re trying to Jewish News, the announcement was
that’s led to a recent series of gay teen sui- respect and inclusion. maintain.” returned without being published. That
cides. In one of the many cases that made “It’s incumbent upon rabbis and Jew- Rabbi Miller, however, believes because sparked a debate and discussion that ulti-
national headlines, a Rutgers University ish communal leaders to treat gays and our understanding of homosexuality in mately led to the JN’s decision in Septem-
freshman (who was not Jewish) jumped lesbians with dignity and as full-fledged the 21st century is different from previous ber 2004 to print same-sex engagement,
to his death from the George Washing- members of our synagogues and institu- generations, we must yield to the value of union, anniversary and birth announce-
ton Bridge after his roommate allegedly tions,” he says. human dignity. ments.
[ ]
local human rights ordinances that
prohibit this form of discrimination.
EDITOR’S NOTE: JGN DANIEL SHERBERT, M.D. F.A.C.S
Certified by The American Board of Surgery, The American Board of
Family & Friends group Anti-Bullying: Legislation is Plastic Surgery & Fellowship Trained in Aesthetic & Reconstructive
meets 7-9 p.m. the first pending; it has been approved by Breast Surgery
Thursday of every month the state House and sent to the
in the library at the Jew- state Senate. “We are one of only
ish Community Center in six states that do not have a law (248) 865-6400
West Bloomfield, 6600 requiring school districts to have
West Maple Road. For anti-bullying policies,” Kaplan points
5807 W. Maple • Suite 177 • West Bloomfield
more information, go to out. “We have to work to educate
www.jgnmi.org. our legislators and the public about
these issues.”