The Gower Wassail Mistress Scrubb

Scrubb: 1st Verse PROPS

A-wassail, a-wassail throughout of this town Flagon of ale
Our cup it is white and our ale it is brown
Our wassail is made of good ale and cake
Of nutmeg and ginger, the best we can bake

Al dal di dal di dal

Dal di dal di dal
Dal di dal di dee
Sing deero, sing daddy
Sing too ral di do

Our wassail is made of the el'berry bough

Although my good neighbors I'll drink unto thou
Besides all on earth, we have apples to store
Pray let us come in for its cold by the door

We know by the moon that we are not too soon

And we know by the sky that we are not too high
We know by the star that we are not too far
And we know by the ground that we are within sound

Now master and mistress let your company forbear

To fill up are wassail with you cider and beer
We want none of your pale beer, nor none of your small
But a drop of your kilderkin, that's next to the wall

Now master and mistress if you are within

Pray send out your maid with her lily-white skin
For to open the door without more delay
For our time it is precious and we cannot stay

You've brought your wassail, which is very well known

But I can assure you we've as good of our own
As for your jolly wassail, we care not one pin
But its for your good company we'll let you come in

Here's a health to our Cooley and her croo'ed horn

May God send her Master a good crop of corn
Of barley and wheat and all sorts of grain
May God send her Mistress a long life to reign

Now Master and Mistress, know you will give

Unto our jolly wassail as long as you live
And if we do life to another new year
We'll call in again just to see who lives here

1
Scrubb [Holding up a flagon of ale, and flirts] PROPS
Fancy some, Mr Scrooge? Black debt book

Scrooge I fancy my rent, Mistress Scrubb.

Scrubb Just a matter of time, Mr Scrooge.

Scrooge No, just a matter of money, Mistress

Scrubb. PROPS
Stove
Pocket What about a chestnut – warm the Chestnuts
cockles of your ‘eart, Mr Scrooge?

Scrooge You are making two assumptions

mister Pocket. [Pulls out a small black
book and a pencil from behind his ear;
opens it] Firstly, that I might desire a
chestnut. Secondly, that I might have
a heart. Neither is true.

Scrubb Oh, you are a one, Mr Scrooge! [Punches him on the

arm]
Scrooge [Simply gives her a withering glance]

Scrubb [Waves the flagon in front of her

uncomfortably, takes a swig and turns
away]

Pocket ‘Ave a couple on the ‘ouse Mr Scrooge!

Scrooge [Looks back at the black book] And

forget the debt you owe me, Mister
Pocket? [Shakes head] Your debt
grows ever larger, sir. Pay up lest it
devour you!

Pocket But it’s Christmas, Mr Scrooge…

Molasses Good will to all men!

Scrooge Good will to all men who pay their

debts, Mr Molasses. And you can pay
up before the New Year – or it’ll be the
bailiffs for you!

Molasses But it’s Christmas…

Scrooge Humbug!

2
Molasses [Raising a basket of humbugs] Oh, do PROPS
you fancy a humbug then, Mr Scrooge? Tables for the
different stalls
Scrooge [Raises arm as turns away] Bah! Bags of humbugs
Molasses Best of the Season to you Mr Scrooge!

Scrooge [Waves him away] The New Year,

Molasses, the New Year.

Tiny Tim [Enters USL, passing Scrooge who is

still studying his book, glancing
around occasionally] May I have a
humbug, Mr Molasses, sir. I have a
farthing.

Molasses A farthing is it? A humbug? One [SCROOGE – notices

humbug. Why with a farthing, you can the transaction and
have a family bag! shakes his head]

Tiny Tim Oh, thank you, thank you, Mr

Molasses. Papa will be so pleased!
[Tiny Tim leaves, limping]

Scrooge [Scrooge approaches Molasses] No

wonder you’re in debt, Mr Molasses.
There’s no profit in charity, sir. No
profit!

Molasses I know how hard it is to keep a family [Leaves USL to walk

alive, Mr Scrooge. round to enter on
USR]
Scrooge [Walks away and turns] New Year,
Molasses, New Year!

Crowd [Leaves USR, talking animatedly.]

Scrooge [Enters USR, walking purposefully CSL]

Welp [Enters USR, Hurries after Scrooge, hands

clasped together] Mr Scrooge, sir! Mr
Scrooge!

Scrooge [Turns, annoyed; looks at pocket PROPS

watch] Welp! What is it man? Do you Pocket watch
have the rent you owe me?

Welp Well, no sir. Hard times, Mr Scrooge, hard

times.
3
Scrooge Hard times for us all, Mr Welp. Your
problems are no concern of mine.
My concern is my profit. If you cannot
pay, then you’ll be turned out.

Welp But what about Mrs Welp? And little

Serafina and Young Philip?

Scrooge What about them, Mr Welp? They are

your concern, not mine. Perhaps you
should vacate the property at once –
the workhouses are particularly full at
this time of year. You may want to
ensure that you have a place. Now,
good evening to you. [Scrooge moves
away USL]

Welp [Pawing at Scrooge] But Mr Scrooge, I beg

of you.

Scrooge [Sharply, and shrugging him off] Good

evening to you, sir.