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river oaks examiner - lifestyles

Take care By CYNTHIA LESCALLEET
Published: 08.11.10 Print Page

For those of us who drift into the role of caregiver or have it thrust upon us by circumstance the learning curve can be steep. Its broad too, cutting across a spectrum of such matters as insurance, shifting roles, legalities, bureaucracies and managing stress, a lot of stress. Giving care, however, is a situation an estimated one in four families are encountering, whether for aging parents, an ailing spouse or a child with disabilities. And yet, most of us dont think about the caregiving role that inevitably awaits us all in some form. Most of us are ill-prepared to take on those responsibilities, said Earl Shelp of Interfaith CarePartners, a non-profit that supports congregations in hands-on ministry. Shelp, a medical ethics expert and theologian, will be the keynote speaker at the 2010 Summer Caregiver Conference, offered at no cost to registered participants on Aug. 21 from 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 at St. Lukes United Methodist Church. Shelp will speak about Having Hope in Hard Times. Hope plays a role in our capacity to cope, he said, adding that caregivers hope also must be realistic. His speech kicks off a day of workshops on two dozen topics he called tools for negotiating challenges. We all think we can do it ourselves, Shelp said. If there is a theme to the information imparted by the workshop presenters, it could be learning to navigate changes in our relationships with loved ones, he said. The upcoming semi-annual conference is the fifth offered by a collaboration between Interfaith CarePartners and St. Lukes senior adult ministries. Since its start in 2008, conference attendance has grown to more than 250 participants, and the

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range of topics has also increased, said Marlys Barry, director of senior adult ministries. Most people dont come to something like this until theyre in the midst of it (rendering care), she said. For some who attend, there is also comfort in networking with others experiencing similar duties and emotions, she said. And some who attend realize they need to plan now for when the shoe is on the other foot, she said. Among the topics that the conference finds in demand are ones on how to find in home health care providers, on Elder Law and on Understanding Medicare. A new topic being offered this time targets men who as sons and husbands are now in the caregiver role. Were not going to provide all the answers, but (participants) will leave with how to find what they need, Barry said. Such has been the case for Sandi Snowden, who is caring for a husband in the early stages of Alzheimer's. As the shock of the diagnosis sank in and the reality of her role became apparent, she recalled not knowing where to go or what to do. Having attended several of the conferences, she said it provides a wealth of information. She has noticed that the first time you hear something, you dont necessarily get it. Also, in attending, she is able to prepare herself by anticipating what might be awaiting her. The support of others she encounters has also been a plus, Snowden said. One message she receives is that You are not alone. Another is I am strong. I am resourceful. And I can do this, she said. For a list of conference topics and exhibitors or to register, visit www.stlukesmethodist.org/caregiver.

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