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Echoes of the Soul - Paupers Dreamscape

© Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

Welcome to an experimental file which has a meta-interdependence with 'My cult

of Thoolhoo'. Meta for it has not in context but in contemplation a connection. This
means while McoT is based upon Cthulhu myth from a cultists perspective and I
am preparing the tutorial adventure, this here is more dedicated side-notes to and
inspired by my years in fantasy role-playing.

Sources to be mentioned: Dungeons & Dragons, especially Ravenloft, Greyhawk

and Planescape Torment. The German 'Realms of Arkania', it's early years.
Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, defiled yet never forgotten. The Internet for
allowing me basic research in those few moments I could afford it. My readers,
who are few in number, yet not less worthy by that alone.

I am neither using stuff from official product lines, nor their rules here. Once again:

A new way of note: While I mention that any mentioning of persons, artworks and
company stuff is never a challenge to their legal rights, trademark or else and
making money, it's crap. I mean for sure, pirate pages offer your entire product line
and I can't hype your stuff? No pc-game which cannot be illegally downloaded and
sad truth for any book one could scan. I am no software pirate but an author
struggling in a wonderful world full of poverty, suffering, corruption and war-
crimes.

I remember that many years ago I walked the train-station of Essen-Borbeck at

night. When I looked up I read a well known note sprayed there. 'Finde Deine
eigene Wahrheit' which means 'Find your own truth'. Yesterday I quoted it
modified when a woman said my replies make her only have more questions (don't
worry, I had no sex):

'Find your own truth, for only you can live your life'

Basically this is a repeat. Years ago I already mentioned that what legally inspires
you concerning my files shall not mean you worship or surrender to the rest. My
old formulation was 'take what works in your life and discard the rest'. Could you
be more honest to any generic stranger? Generic? I don't know your personality,
your gender, your religion or culture as the possible lack of the same.
Consider the low budget reality which fills so many prisons and asylums, I could
even be the author who wrote this to his killer. Or some 'Barton Fink' for paupers? I
didn't want my role, that's for sure.

I dislike autobiographical stuff or diary crap, especially for it does not get paid and
would be smarter after I am (not that probable) rich & famous.

A note on definition: Author

I am the author of my files. Not an author by job (yet?). I am on the path of self-
made author, not company author. Means, I need money to start producing instead
of finding a publisher. This has more than one reason, yet until you pay I don't owe
you the answers. Hint: Integrity, independence and writing what my customers
want are among the variables in this equation of mine.

When I chatted with a woman, she offered me to write some stuff for me. I was
shocked. First, I really write my own stuff and already published quite some gratis
stuff. Second I never believed myself to be the author who outmatches 'Harry
Potter' today and 'Sacrilege' tomorrow. Third, instead of putting my name into
someone else's work, I would note them as co-author. An offer I made to several
females to allow a female perspective on certain topics. Problematic when it comes
to business, yet for now I do gratis stuff. It is just one skill of my hobby. I don't get
it, was she thinking at all? I don't guess she meant it insulting, yet what? Zen mode
activated, don't analyze just be (mushien).

I once wanted to play the villain, trying to steal stuff. Every time I read what I
considered worthy loot, I found I could write it better from my own perspective.
Further, I didn't start fantasy role-play as publishing by ambition, I did it by 'muse'
or simply intuition. It comes with practice and if you try it, you sure will find that
stealing stuff leaves your own personal priorities somewhat abandoned. Or maybe
I am more author than rogue? A pestering repeat means you won't have to
download other files from me so here it comes:

● I didn't ask for it, yet I am an petty “award winning” author. This is nothing
special. It just translates into recognized as “author level 1” or being in the
author character class from a role-players perspective. I am no single class
concept?
Got it? It was a little award and just a step on the way. With no company behind
me I have to think myself and consider how or if to do marketing and customer
care once it begins to become funding.

Funding? Yes, making my personal money (harlots, drugs, designer clothes and all
the other cliché I can't afford ever) are only one part. The crucial part is this: If I
produce a book it must sell well enough or otherwise I can't afford to hire studios
which turn it into a radio-audio-tale or computer or console game. That's naked
facts.

The horror of the author -class?

A brutal truth named associations. A certain number of people expects me to

become alcoholic as doing drugs. That's a common expectation concerning the
cliché of authors and artists. It has something recurrent and secretly I tried to
practice part one. I made it up to one six-pack an evening where I even still typed
some pages.

Further, would anybody mind to notice, that such vices are quite expensive when
perceived as necessity from a pauper? I belong to the poorest social class in my
country. May the alcoholic part be the humble German tradition where drugs are
the more American reply?

How do I face the utter menace of writing my files:

I usually do some shopping. A mix of healthy and not so healthy food and stuff like
fruit-tea or cappuccino with caramel and a six-pack of wheat beer or my new
champion (Veltins Curuba). Then I take the enormous risk of visiting a Turkish
Döner Kebab shop or even more appreciated yet rarely payable, a pizza store.
Yummy. A good preparation are two 'complete Döner' or a family pizza for me
alone. Vice gluttony fueled enough. I bet I would become more fat when I could
afford to do it daily. ☺

I return to my flat after an extensive walk (looking at women or in absence of sexy

ones, which is often the case, day-dreaming they would be there). I start my
computer, get angry about the problems Linux Kanotix has with my hardware and
start to prepare the header of the new file. I smoke some tobacco or cigarillo.
Cigarettes taste less well, are more expensive and burn down to fast while typing. I
usually start some music at my old PC or the one TV-music-channel I receive.

Then I do a kind of prayer, contemplation or pseudo-occult ritual (I only published

my 'Bestialis - street-shaman under the cross of Christianity' in German) to
summon or better said invoke, revive, beg or simulate my muse. Simplified I try to
get into the mood.

Sometimes it is nearly readable, yet there is an sequel-ritual which I found to be

part of my style or lack of a same. The real corrections, including § necessities,
always seem to appear after I published the first version. Yeah, patches for my files.
☺

☺ = Indicators that I mean it more humorous than it is often perceived or expected.

If you have this google option or an alternative for satellite pictures by address, you
may check the German city of Essen, town part named Altendorf, by postage
number 45143 Essen. That's the 'hood' I live in for now.
Given that (I am not American) I dislike the idea of abusing real world people:
When writing the dream-scape as I intend it, it will not be denouncing or turning
traitor (because such skills are not always limited to my author skill choice). I don't
know if I would be anti-American, maybe you reading my file named 'My ale from
Salem - darker than satanism' will bring you a better impression?

I know though that the few Americans I had to meet in person are below any
degree of competence when it comes to the soul. No matter whom I could compare
them with, all other cultures where more reliable, more diplomatic and less
prejudice-tainted. I am a fat, ugly and not that well liked skinhead for years, in a
hood full of Muslims, people from Africa and Asia as well. For more than six years
I had here no trouble with anybody, especially about the idiotic pseudo-definitions
of racism or religious hostility as America wants to brainwash us into believing.

We have our share of Nazi-Skinheads, criminals and thugs here. Yet how can they
be the big evil when creatures like the Americans outmatch their crimes, their lack
of respect for other lifestyles, cultures and religions? Being a different form of evil
won't make them less guilty. An interesting one was an American who said
(confessed?) that 'they' only stopped the Nazis for they weren't Americans. Besides
it was the blood-toll of Russia and the dedication of the Commonwealth which
made the war turn against the Nazis? Let's play a guessing game: You are a
German normalo/citizen, it is strictly forbidden to display the slightest Nazi
insignia and your great American ally finds it funny to let people in full Nazi
uniform roam their land. Would this inspire trust and sympathy in you? It sure as
hell didn't within me. And why does Israel accept that?

Is it still called a greencard or ticket to Guantanamo Bay nowadays? Wouldn't it be

smarter to contain our oil-junkies on their own continent where it is their right to
live and govern as they want? I repeat one from 'My ale...' I never expected
America to show mercy to the enemy, I criticize their habit of torturing before they
have evidence ( like in Iraq where those huge amounts of weapons of mass
destruction where discovered). That is a difference, especially for those who
accepted the role of world police. If I would have wanted the Americans as
villains I wouldn't mourn their fall from grace.

Thanks to Turkey for 'Valley of the Wolves'. I didn't see that movie, yet I find it
inspiring to know that somebody else noticed the obvious about a topic we all have
to live with.

Do I know any good sides about America? Yes, just that I explain them when paid
for. From everyday life I can admit that I liked some TV series though: 'Smallville'
as 'Clueless' and 'The secret of Pasadena'. Michael Rosenbaum could do an update
of all Bogart movies if he ever gets bored?

Back to less unpleasant stuff. There are some people in the world who do a damn
good job, even when the first impression is different.

That's what I call a real world source of inspiration.

 The lords & ladies of Hogwash

Before I started writing again, I read some stuff and given that I even qualified
through some nearly higher school form of Germany I am sometimes more
educated than I consider myself to be. Simple, I know that there are so much more
cultivated and educated people so I can't present that as one of my strong points,
it's part of the way of life here, I guess.

Oh experience. You know, no matter how many of you could do better, no matter
what others think of it. If I hadn't i.e. learned to ride a bike myself, how could I
have benefited from it's existence? I don't feel ashamed for the urge to be the best
does not guarantee any success. I sense the return to role-play, though no longer
from the perspective I experienced in the past.

The officials made some good jobs among all the crap they tried to sell. Really. It's
just that they also spawned so much which disgusted people, often especially those
who helped them even without payment. Therefore this note:

Why did I like Planescape Torment? Because it was nearly free (in comparison)
from this hypocrite they are just assholes but call them good guys idiocy. They
were there, but could be killed at least.

My greatest respect for most games goes to the module makers or mod makers.
They often improve the quality in their unique and manyfold ungratefully treated
way of being creative souls (in the deadly logical world of programmers). While
NWN offered the possibility, too, I found the module editor of Morrowind (ES3)
bringing optically improved results. Same idea, different engine. I lack those skills
and just by reading tutorials I can't learn what is so much easier when you know
the programming language the stuff is based upon. I will never be rich enough, yet
I would have paid the skilled ones instead of allowing those who made you
necessary to get all the money and credits. Further role-players crafted patches on
problems which officials who were paid to do the job proclaimed to be impossible
to correct. Vampire Redemption was just one example, even years ago!

A little note

Zen has two major definitions. My own one was based on understanding and
practicing it until I found what of Zen (mostly mushien) benefits my life. The other
way is highly superior for eternity. That way means mimicking and imitating
Japanese monks and declaring it to be enlightenment or ascension.
Born and raised in a country which started two world wars in one century, I am
pretty allergic to such creatures and a society allowing them to go unscathed. Their
prejudices and attitude that they are above all laws while I am guilty of whatever
they decide, is far more from the facts than can be legal here. I am neither Japanese
nor a monk and therefore my Zen cannot be identical with the one a Japanese monk
or nun would do (which properly would not be 'do' but 'be'). Further, of course, my
choice of title was not humorous. It can't be, because the prejudices and accusations
hurled at me would not seem so convincing then. As if my life is not down &
degenerate enough.

Level-Up controversy

I just remember a little cookie wisdom. People don't change (at least not for the
better?). There is a certain misconception, cultivated by plenty of persons. It's not
beneficial and until I get paid to lie to you, I choose my own?

Be it pen&paper or online role-play people acting asshole always consider

themselves superior. Wasting real world money and time on a virtual or fictional
figure does not seem that smart to me. That's from someone with role-play as
hobby for more than 16 years.

Let's take an example. Ass-Savior in D&D. The rogue stereotype. When a rogue
really is epic (level 20 or above) the person will be at least twenty steps more in
competence and 20 less in mistakes, yet remaining just one individual (i.e.) limited
by mortality, alignment and personal tastes. In my good moments I could fuel this
role with a competence which would come to perhaps rogue level10. This means
protecting the group from traps (mechanical, technological, magical & don't forget
social or personal) & ambushes, disarming traps, picking locks and all other
obvious yet superficial skills. Any idiot can get a level 40 character by cheat or
waste of real life time, it doesn't really make the point. A newbie player will go
bully with a strong figure or do other newbie mistakes while claiming to be the
greatest veteran on the field. It comes down to spoiling fun. People who 'got
something to prove' or either manipulated, paid for it or often simply immature? It
doesn't need a Buddha or Dalai Lama (more famous skinheads) to find out.
Positive thinking, plenty of people go World of Warcraft instead of pestering in pen
& paper.
For an author it comes down to this: to write a really good role-playing adventure
as the offspring's audio tale, pc game or movie; it could be good to get a team of
qualified (real, not just on paper) people who naturally fit into the stereotypical
roles of the chosen system as setting and have the competence to bring results,
including the ability to fulfill the stereotype as to outmatch it (so less experienced
have something unique to learn).

For now my position is far from optimum, yet I found a handful of creative souls
which I would ask. The same should be true on anybody else who claims to be role-
player, author or artist.

Taking for granted. Believe it or not, stuff like gravity is not my personal invention
and when I mention it, it is not about violating copyrights. Further even when you
don't steal stuff, some books, movies, women or clichés have influenced you as me
and will reflect in works, especially when the mind is not busy with continuing to
write or contemplate. To a degree this seems human nature.

Oh did you notice that even people who never studied at university can fall flat on
their nose and such? There is a disgusting freak-flaw in academics which makes
them claim people are not allowed to be smarter than them or independent from
them. Their failure is their responsibility as my failure would be mine. Further, flaw
of this overpaid professions is, they are replaceable like nobody else. How many
doctors, dentists or otherwise self-proclaimed elitists are in each city of this planet?
Plenty would be a good guess, enough to never need one individual academic
another.

Don't forget that newbie means new to a certain topic, not less talented or
otherwise limited. Further, I have the sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one
who does not appreciate being discriminated against. If propaganda would be all,
we would still worship Hitler and watch the media fight if we should now all like
George W. Bush. Or some other crap heads who never deserved such jobs. Hey, am
I next? Come on, I only want the money.

Does anybody remember dreamweb? A game where some (psychopathic or

saintly) guy dreams of official people doing atrocities, speaks to some dream world
guru, wakes up and knows how to kill them. In the end, dreams can't protect you
from the real world bullets of the police. Nothing too new, the spirits didn't protect
from American rifles at Wounded Knee (or elsewhere) either.
The British seem to know why common sense is so often mentioned by them. The
lessons I learned or remembered from Dreamweb and Planescape Torment are
crucial in what 'inspires' (some prefer makes me freak out again) me to write this
file, which I originally wanted to be an essay with a tutorial role-play adventure.

Note on Fiction: The final crusade - no choice given?

I don't care much if it is intended as a message, pure coincidence or latent racism.

Plenty of official games have the message that Muslim and even much more often
India's spirituality is the vile, evil enemy. Besides my note on Americans, it comes
down to this for me: I like real fantasy role-play not racist aphasia role-play. I
contemplate:

Monotheism and Polytheism are a bit extreme when it comes to tolerating each
others lifestyle. Further people from one side of the frontier like to pick only those
quotes of the opposition, which fit their own agenda. Again, nothing new.

So if I get laid with a Muslim woman (given she is willing and solo), I am still a
good guy. A woman from India (given she is willing and solo) on the other hand is
a completely different topic. First, she is not a human and sure as hell not a woman,
she is a demon in disguise with some agenda which makes paranoid-
schizophrenics look like critical scientists? Really, plenty of evil creatures are
depicted by that cultures symbolism and clothing style.

Of course being dependent on the 'mercy' (big, cynical laughter those before us
didn't call it next step mercy night) of my culture, I can only agree. “No human
rights to polytheists is our necessary, for we discovered theirs, secret agenda until
we choose to neglect the obvious which is not my job (yet?)”. They taint our culture,
way of life and religion precisely as some freaky programmers 'foretold' it in their computer
games? Yeah, sounds very plausible, if one wants to believe in it.

It seemingly makes life easier. All blame & guilt to the opposition. I had no
problematic childhood and didn't make mistakes in my life. It was all part of their
sadistic, vicious and despicable schemes and intrigues to weaken our culture! No,
they are not just of a different opinion or from another perspective, they say and act
that way to harm us all the time!
Did you see my as weird, futile or meaningless? No, I am a great crusader in the
holy order of the feather (ok, computer keyboard) disarming their propaganda-
traps, giving warnings or protecting our valiant defenders of the faith. Even while
poverty devours me, again, as part of their sadistic joy to harm us. Monstrous
polytheism, must be a dire disease. I like real fantasy role-play not racist aphasia
role-play.

Of course, you knew

The ladies and gentlemen, gangsta and bitches, boys and girlies caught me again. I
wrote those last pages without a single nip of alcohol and it shows. Sorry, was out
of money and had this switch from coffee to tea phase. You can't sleep yet are not
really as wake as with good coffee.

Some guy who wants his personal addiction to porn be seen as altruistic gift for
societies enlightenment once said or quoted:

Love your body for it is the one part of the soul we can sense 24 hours per day.

Seems accidents, sickness and violence were beyond his cookie wisdom?

Truth is, any artist knows that true art is, among others, to manifest into the
physical world what the muse or soul perceives. If this then is living a good
relationship or a Picasso painting surely is individual, as in the often quoted
'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.

I do not speak for the church (pauper, not priest) and still see this as quite a
reminder.

One which is even more important for people who are indoctrinated (not much
matter if science, politics or sect), dogmatic momma boys or simply dumb is a
mentioned line from Joe Strummers 'Redemption Song:
'Emancipate yourself from mental slavery - none but ourselves can free our
minds'
It sounds so simple. It rarely is.

• Understanding that changing your life means living differently every

day and night, not just some big words. That’s were many fail.

Did you ever do a self-defense course? Isn't it easy to get accustomed to it and
anticipate what the trainer wants to hear? At least, in comparison to how difficult it
is to really react properly in a potentially dangerous situation?

Or seduction, the amount of information needed is comparably small to the task of

properly being in the mood and communicating by words as non-verbal (mimic,
gestures or pure sex appeal) what leads you to your personal result (often called
getting laid in the surroundings I know).

It sure breeds trouble but this file needs feminine rounding

Now where a babe, blade and boobs are DELETED, it feels so much less...sexist
piggy pig pig. Today the heat in this rooftop room made it tough again. I took a
long walk and wasted money on one Veltins Curuba -> That's beer with some fruit
and Tequila, by the way. Has more percentage than German wheat beer (which has
more than 0815 beer) and tastes comparably well.

If I really would be sexist I wouldn't have wasted time on pseudo-monastic years.

Further you didn't read the after-words of 'Banish with Laughcraft' when this
comes up. Check it? www.e-stories.org/ or www.esnips.com

Click 'our authors' and you find all my gratis samples straight after finding me by
family name (Pietroschek, A.M.).

Great, not one sentence of what I intended. Positive side: I will continue this file
when I start to write (as mentioned above) the tutorial adventure for 'My cult of
Thoolhoo'.
 Notes on guiding a role-play adventure

There is one mission from 'Thief, part one' which is quite all-round fantasy rogue.
Means if you never played any role-play, yet intend to go rogue, this mission alone
will greatly inspire you how to behave and what atmosphere may belong to
thieves. There are others examples, yet to keep it gratis: I placed notes between the
lines and in the after-words of 'Vudash Hexenwahn - The guild of Zion'. It's not all,
yet if you manage to handle all this your chances of surviving from rogue level one
to higher levels is already ok.

Idiots called game master are not my problem, for they spoil your evening. As
teenager I had to get the work done, so I expect it from any of you, too. Otherwise
pay me well enough that I can hire a proper team and we might even bring above
average results.

It's about statistics. Every role-play system uses different attributes, skills and so
on. Yet a mage remains a mage and a warrior will be the best martial character no
matter what stats try to handle it on what tables or die-rolls.

If I place short stats as in 'My cult of Thoolhoo' or quote D&D in the English fantasy
files a game master or game mistress (storyteller, dungeon master and so forth), can
be expected to 'translate' them properly into your chosen system.

When I first read 'Risus - The anything RPG' I thought it's not enough. It was. Not
that detailed yet therefor efficient time saver. Further a compass is not that much
more and people found their way, some even without one.

Further, I seriously emphasize WHFRP. It's my personal champion, no more no

less. D&D has several unique strengths, yet failures in logic and complicated
handling, too. It makes great sense in certain campaigns, yet always becomes a
burden in other typical role-playing situations. Further as an author I write my own
quick solution for I am not sure how far I can base upon official stuff without
needing a license (when money is made with my files later).
In some of the more modern role-playing systems certain mix-character classes
compensate weaknesses of the traditional ones for the price of sacrificing some
power. Not always a bad choice, yet depends on your personal game guide, group
and what adventure you will face again.

Example: The classic mage or wizard will be a damn smart ass and learns nearly all
which can be learned about magicking. The price for this will be rotten combat
skills and same on most mundane survival skills.

In our Shadowrun my down & dirty rat shaman scored much by using weapons
and sacrificing one step of essence into bio-cybernetic reflex boost Effect: When a
traditional mage covered by guards started to summon his damn dangerous
elemental my rat shaman looked on the astral plane (to know what the enemy
mage was up to) and then gave him or her a head shot before the summoning
could be finished. Shock bolstered colt manhunter with laser sight or smart gun
version with goggles were usually enough for they were damn defenseless while
summoning.

That's not look what a smart-ass I was. It's look how making the best of your
chosen figure may even bring atmosphere and results. I mean, who expects a street-
shaman to go for knightly duels equivalent? The deceased in our runs. OK, a
dwarven bouncer gave my figure the Remington room-sweeper gut-shot straight
into the morgue some months later.

That's the point, compensating a mage or shamans weakness does not mean you
can defeat a veteran specialized from birth in what you only practiced more than
the stereotype. Yet it made my team survive, even against some damn tough odds.
The point is not just defeat the NPC, but do it in a way which suits your figure.
Research the real world Glock 18 and 9mm special ammunitions to become aware
why rifles are rarely needed in a city. Further, a good handgun and a sniper rifle
with some thinking makes often really more sense, less trouble and at least same
results. Truth is, I dislike heavy violence, I would play America's Army or such if
that would be my taste?

Besides the Lone Wolf solo adventure books there followed some where you
ventured across Magnamund with a mage, wordily translated named silver star.
They gave an impression that artifice, subterfuge and fighting skills may really help
more than spells and rituals alone.
Violence level as atmosphere should be suiting the story, not just logic for it is
fantasy role-play not logic role-play? If your group is made up of mages only I
wouldn't need intense meditation to find out what happens if I let them get
ambushed by a bunch of assassins and warriors in magic-immunity gear?

Exceptions are worlds like sanctuary. If you are too dumb, weapon-wise naked or
deluded that kung fu will always defeat street-fighters, oops. If you survive one
year as a city guard in sanctuary you know a great lesson about assassination,
ambushes and bloodshed. If you know the setting, prepare properly. Or Ravenloft,
the cliché vampire might even appreciate a good discussion, yet will usually drain
you anyway. If the setting is predefined adapt to it as far, as survival will mean for
your figure.

Further, don't go loudmouth? Just because somewhere else a monk was fun,
doesn't excuse lack of reading rules or player guides. Systems which are fond of
martial arts usually over-estimate them to allow extended delving into the topic.
Worlds where every beggar knows some secret family style and so on. That's a
priority you should be (or be made) aware of before creating your figure?

In more mature games or simply pseudo-occult Splatterpunk like 'Kult', this skill is
not really that primary. Existent, yet rarely the big ace in the sleeve.

A generic setting will usually balance the common classes and may give special or
extended emphasis on fighting certain villains (or heroes if you are villain) like
those boss-fights in beat em up games in those arcade gaming halls. The three
compromises I experienced really often were:
● The compromise which makes the group remain a group.
● The compromise (between group and story guide) which lets the adventure
remain playable. (Mage - The Ascension)
● The compromise/improvisation which makes a player land an unexpected
good idea or die roll where it really was surprise, story-blasting yet good
atmosphere or big laughter surprise.
 Quote Note

I mentioned before that when I quote songs, I do it for the song lyrics can
usually (really good chance) be found gratis only by typing the band name and
title into any search engine. Heavy metal may not be your music, yet if the lyrics
fit damn well, it's your chance to know what I mean without hurting your ears.

Occult Note again

Read some books from it, practiced a notch here and there, even got some
appreciated results I could 'teach' to others. I noted two important infos on this: I
am not really proud that I had more women on my bed to teach them meditation or
'shamanic journey' or similar than to have sex. Yet that's me. The more important
2nd note is: I am out of it. I continue petty habitual stuff personally, I am not
luring, not hinting and not any more interested in the occult. I don't consider
what you think of it for as I say I do not owe you explanations or anything, further
from my perspective making money and having fun (by personal definition) are
really more important in life. Further occult and publication or opposites and I like
author as my hobby, though it's not genuine.

The Grand Theft Author Note

• My mentioning of people, companies and institutions as their

works is no challenge to their trademark or copyright. My text
deals with a long established, fictional game-hobby for
entertainment, legal money making and contemplation
purposes only. Included pictures are and were never declared
my property, because most, sure as hell was invented, they are
not. When I do not mention who did the pictures or other
included files, then I either forgot or simply don't know who
created it and that there are rights reserved. A common
exception is my retaliation against people who tried to threaten,
sabotage or harm me or my works in ways which are illegal,
disgusting or clearly against all facts. Oh, that previous sentence
is secret. ☺ It can never be the simple explanations. Like that
under Linux much which is forbidden under Windows remains
free for all? No. Or that not even the mafia had as much trouble
with EU-law as Microsoft got caught with? No.
 Whatever it is and whoever did it, it's already clear that it
just must be my fault. I vomit this because that's what the
community so generously gave to me.

• Oh and I can write new stuff, how can it be that those I stole it
all from (including Goethe as far as claims go) can't, even when
still alive? As if their accusations are any more than a criminal
way to blackmail our attention and money. Where is my
'Condoleezza Vice City'?

Now this file will need some time for I made a mistake on my search
for a re-education (job-stuff) and will have to suffer the consequences.
Some months after the tutorial adventure for 'My cult of Thoolhoo'
may be online this should be continued...

Pizza Hawaii & Pussycat Dolls 'Buttons' video-clip

This may piss a lot of people (the prick-headed) off. Besides looking quite sexy,
they can really dance. No, not juggling their feminine rounding to be allowed
calling it dance. They can do both for real. Oops. Personally I think being a sexy
woman sure looks good, yet being a sexy woman and dancing real good is even
better. The habit of frequently going on stage with porn-people is a bit strange
though. In Germany the rumor is they wondered why they are seen as harlots or
whores (translation problem, take the lesser discriminating one to get the meaning,
please)? Hookers was a slang word, perhaps?

Hello, what did you expect, women showing up one stage with porn-starlets
/pimps being seen as faithful virgins by society?

It's a weird sign of our times that being prick-headed is now super protected and
privileged by the USA as all who cheek-kiss it, no matter what really goes on. I just
saw the first skilled dancing for years (within the music industry) by the pussycat
dolls. I guess this is in a way worth noting, especially for it does not exclude still
finding them sexy?
I saw Snoop Dog in that pseudo-satanist movie (Bones?). I like it though I am a bit
unimportant for a.) the U.S.A as b.) blah, as if you have any more meaning to me.

You don't like my writings, stop reading them!?

My character-concept: I named this figure Pauper. Pauper was a failure at

university who caught a pretty serious sickness and lost grip on his finance. Having
survived years of poverty and squalor, only to experience his failure to ever get rich
and happy result in struggling versus despair. His edge (edge = details based on
highest stat) was awareness and introspection, he was more the kind of guy to
enjoy some solitude and contemplate instead of boasting or moaning. He sensed
something pushing him through life while he drifted to unpleasant jobs and fading
illusions of romance. The moment his life broke apart he began to 'see the evil of
the society he was trapped in'. Pauper is dominated by the treacherous essence of
Nyarlathotep. Pauper was fascinated by the occult and had a natural vice for drink
or drug which allowed vice to grow within him. He displays a certain strain to the
trained eye (Myth Lore = Virtues), speaking that his past experiences still take quite
some tribute. His hobby is humbly publishing in 'weird tales' magazines,
accidentally manifold about his real competition among the awakened. Since his
first love died he was recurrently shocked about his cold-blooded sense of self
which only increased his loss of stance in normalcy. Only in those rare moments
when a ritual is about to succeed does Pauper really feel alive anymore.

This description is comparably weak and intended to be so. Any newbie should be
able to come up with as much or re-formulate some cliché stuff to fit even better. If
you choose a job, be reminded that property and duty can exist for a cultist. Further
remember that cultists are 'at the lower end of the myths food chain'.

Pauper is a treacherous individual who might even kill other cultists. While I guess
psychology would say he blames society for his failure, remember in this myth and
from a cult perspective this is quite a truth. Further cultists are still human, they
can go where other myth creatures would stir too much attention or simply don't
consider to find stuff.
 My goblin patch

There is one of those logic-failures in official D&D. I hereby give license to the
official Dungeons & Dragons crew to use “my goblin patch” including
modification of this hint.

Goblins have no racial stats, yet they are as small as halflings, therefor they have
the 'small stature' trait just like halflings. Then orcs and goblins sure as hell dislike
dwarves as much as the dwarves hate them. So 'offensive training versus dwarves
& elves' or ranger-like 'favored enemies': dwarves & elves should surely be
mentioned as their racial traits.

When half-orcs have night-vision we have a third missing entry under some racial
descriptions. Orcs and goblins have some form of low-light or night-vision for sure,
yes in D&D.

To round it up without overdosing I would give the following first-level feats

(noted under racial) to them, too.

Orcs would get 'Thug' giving +2 to persuade and +2 to initiative. This mentality is
nearly stereotype orcish and therefore suiting without giving them more benefits
than any other race. Hobgoblins I never read about, further I guess if it still is a
breach then the officials can get the hint now. This one is gratis anyway.

Goblins get 'Bullheaded' with a +1 on will saves and +2 versus taunts. Goblins often
show a damn tough attitude and being the smallest among heavily armed sadists
and cannibals sure as hell gives plenty of opportunity to learn handling this?

Orcs are barbarian (favored class?) and if you do not have 'The complete rogue by
Michael Mearls' then I would say goblins should be rogue class as favored class.
Mr. Mearls made up a rogue_subclass_barbarian and goblins sure as hell are it's
crueler family. It would simply suit the atmosphere and most common
expectations.
 ☺ The fatal flaw of the “D&D death cult”:

DC.That's Die (-roll) Calculation. No, not a bunch of morbid freaks trying a
divination to know when someone finally becomes worm-food or urn-filling.
One die, many dice. It's those little tools we roll or which to be rolled are handled
by computers (sometimes they cheat). Yes, it's just about defining difficulties to
succeed or fail in fictional games. Really, it's even explained in detail in the
official D&D rulebook.

Bad Taste or dark Tales

Evil reigns in the old republic. The government of the Teutonic tribes has recently and
unknown to the public been slaughtered by the skull-Fugger tribe. Skull-Fugger mixes a
sexual perversion, a hint to the Fugger bloodline (famous merchants) and Necromancy. It's
becoming obvious. Germans enjoyed to live in the open or camp in their forests. Now evil
rules. For centuries the dead have been buried in barrows. Now the insane government
starts building barrows for the living. Entombed, nearly a death-camp to Teutonic eyes of
that time. And as the barbarians who were discriminated by Rome already, do we need it
again, or do you need a 'Varus lesson'? Famous quote from Julius 'XL Pimp of State'
Caesar: ''Varus, Varus give my legions back to me''... In my application racists mutate into
a piss-poor copy of the race they discriminated against or assaulted....step one on the road to
eternal damnation?

The skirmishes at Poverties Price

It's been some years completely without pen & paper by now. I seriously wonder, if
I still get it done. Yesterday night I had a minor chat with a cute woman from
Berlin. She is starting as an author and I really could offer some help on the basics.
Nothing too spectacular, just community business as usual.

One disturbing truth I have to live with is that plenty of role-players have
abandoned role-play not to make a career, but to waste their career. Hello?
Shouldn't I be this kind of failure? Is this now seen as a privilege of the paupers or
such? Worthy enough to be envied? Maybe talking about willpower does not
mean they could really handle their own problems any better.

Pooh. The summer heat is a bitch. Lacking sleep and sweating like hell when trying
to meditate. Or sinking into an exhausting blackness of the own mind. Nothing
spooky, just not muse enough. I just realized I like my petty Zen-note. It's criticism
to some, clarification to others. Some notes on this author:
● Pauper was the name I gave to a figure (D&D, later again in 'My cult of
Thoolhoo which hints at Cthulhu as a page about Christian thoughts on it)
and played around with. I didn't address me or consider me to be or to be
like Pauper. People decided otherwise, ignoring me when I didn't use this
nick in a certain chat-room and stopping to download, when I renamed the
figures which are now all named Pauper again. I dislike it still, though I
sense the intention at least partially.
● It's not world-shaking or well-paid, yet I reached at least a partial success
with what made me write & publish again since the year 2000. First I am
doing something (a bit) creative instead of just consuming TV or radio. Then
I fulfilled a mission for my 'muse', namely I finished the basic version of
'Banish with Laughcraft' as it is destined to be. It was never negotiated that
this in itself would make me rich or so. I helped some people and even more
interesting I began to inspire a handful of similar-minded or completely
differently oriented 'artists' (I would prefer creative souls), spread all over the
world. I know it is not enough, yet better than a complete failure (my life has
enough of them).
● Being a skinhead for years myself. It's quite simple, first I live my life.
Second, if I consider violence an option than it's self-defense or wrath, not
about skin color or religion for the complete time of my life since birth and
the same is true about me having never needed violence thus far, too.
Another minor difference is that I am publishing as discussing topics with
'otherwise oriented people' instead of attacking, doing it behind their backs
or sending them to places like Guantanamo Bay. In 'The brown wizard -
combat team crypt' as 'My ale from Salem - darker than satanism' I posted a
note about democracy: The privileged dabble about democracy (based on the
medieval state of being demon crazed?) being the best form of (hated,
superfluous or appreciated) government we have. That's true in a way. Just
that they make the less pleasant parts and interpretations of democracy
prosper to further their career and whatever nut-job agenda wanna-be elite
university suggested. Living Democracy is more than selfishness and greed
or thinking you could off anybody in the way. If you think about
Democracy, remind yourself, that democracy is what we make of it? We
have much to improve! Death itself does not care about skin colour, agenda,
memberships, race, religion or lack of any. We are still learning to deal with
it and criminals as lunatics trying to tweak it for benefit as terrorists & killer
poultry sure do not make it any easier. When I check for what sucks, there is
something good to be sucked from and therefore not everything is messed
up. When Machiavelli said only those who profit from it make the bad sides
remain in business, he was true.
 Living my dream > don't fall to hollow associations?

I met an agreement a while ago. It's far from being unproblematic and this was true
from the start. Personally I consider it being broken by my 'partners'. This will
culminate in a really unpleasant conflict, not suiting this file.

The interest group promised to allow me living my dream. No, not dabbling 'I want
this, that and even more crap'. Perhaps one needs some background in either
oneiromancy, lucid dreaming research or even better practical experience and
scientific guidance?

I like sayings like the one I quote now from 'Werewolf - The Apocalypse' which is
property of White Wolf Inc. and again, I am not challenging their rights or their
products or the length of their ...

'A dream never shows the truth it unfolds until the sleeper awakens'

I read some psychology stuff about people who flee into dream-worlds or day-
dreams. To a degree it's simply human, if you waste your life that way it may be an
unhealthy over-dose? I am not a psychologist, can't inform you about that science
or promise to 'heal' the soul which is often just another word for psyche.

Side-Note: I am much more humorous as an author (or at least trying to be more

humorous) than in real life. People who know me in both roles should be aware of
this difference.

If you leave your personal agenda and esoteric or other brain-crap out of the
equation the quote I marked yellow in this chapter is quite meaningful. It took me
some years to find that the meaning is often pretty mundane, which sure as hell is
not the answer a role-player like me would have wanted it to be. ☺

There are some results, yet the problems of the agreement made me 'fail' and
becoming the frustrated malcontent I wasn't born to be. Nobody is immune to
years like that.
 If you wonder why I mention that so short-cut remember the saying I placed at the
start? Based on a quote from Shadowrun (as far as I know):

'Find your own truth - for only you can live your life.'

● I wrote find your own truth, not freak out, go insane or commit crimes. Maybe I
really meant what I wrote and not what you interpreted or wanted me to mean
with it? Stay with the facts, it's often what it comes out to mean anyway. If you
hear voices in your head or your pet tells you to torture or kill people or if you are
a soldier and you can't distinguish in example between Muslim citizens and
terrorists, please seek out a competent therapist immediately.
● Breaking another curse so to say: I finally return to Motorola. I will get a Motorola
SLVR L7 for free!!! Yip! ☺
● 13.07.2006 Noticed too late that some file-sharing software was running in the
Internet-café while I uploaded and emailed my updates to kontakt@e-stories.de
I am not creating a roleplay here, but trying to 'translate' some
additional meaning. It is possible to handle it with most official
works which are worth buying, yet we mixed. Well, each story-teller
took the preferred system to guide the own sessions. The full
campaign would take several dedicated evenings and that is, what
makes me write only a short story. Several readers do not share the
joy, just by reading. Therefor this is like a note in absence of the real
bard who tells the tale.

The memories of getting started

It was a poor quarter of town. People living there wouldn't call it slums, they called
it home. Pauper once had to live there, too. The quarter was filled with beggars,
thugs, footpads, harlots and whores. Craftsmen as technicians were scarce, even
they earned enough to live a better life elsewhere. This section of the city was
sealed off for so long, that many did still now the outskirts and forests, but few
remembered who the lord of the city would be or what happened in the better parts
of the city. The privileged clouded in romantic poetry or sadistic joy often had
discriminating words for those who had to survive here.

The turf was not completely lost yet. Infrastructure offered some relief between
those housings. To mention certain useful spots:
 ● Pubs and brothels, official ones as unofficial ones there were plenty. Some
mugged or poisoned their guests, others did business and some peculiar
ones where facade or money-mill for interest groups the readers didn't yet
discover.
● Pawnshops. One could say the sole survivors of poverty. Be it a smithy, be it
clothing or medicine. Only the pawnshops had anything to offer here. With
the years only their prices kept them in business while focused shops rotted
away or fell to crime.
● The alchemists. Few in number and not all really studied, they offered the
three most important wares for certain tastes: Weapon upgrades l, poisons &
venoms as countermeasures to disease and their own wares.
● The libraries and Internet shops. Only some of them came in the cliché of
books, the written word has it's problems, causes some by itself, too. Meeting
points, depending on interests, had found their own places. Some straight in
pubs, others in secret hideouts or the sewers.

● Supplies. Cheap food and simple solutions were very welcome day and night
here. Needless to say, all shops or people who offered quality had a gang of
citizens watching that they didn't get harmed. They are still crucial.
● Drug-dealers. Escaping into some biological or alchemystical dream often
was the only option to really make it through the next days. The soul had no
other Elysium in this area.

Pauper's words on the gods and destiny

People have a habit of unleashing psychotic, dumb or esoterica crap whenever

words like fate, destiny or karma are mentioned. It's what makes them a problem,
not part of the citizens who try to better their lot. Others see such phrases as the
perfect excuse for their incompetence or vice.

A tsunami is a force which an individual cannot really handle. Such things

happening as the way we deal with it may and really just may be in the direction
that words like fate, destiny or karma could really talk about.

Gods were not only by science proved a lie. Or madness. I do not doubt the faith, I
doubt it's relevance. If I would have to mention 'higher forces' which are often even
worshiped and at least globally active.
I could name some. Interesting to note, that they are stand alone as well as coming
in combinations.

● Madness. This is a global player for sure, nobody is really immune to it. It is
like a weird deity from those fantasy games. It reigns, inspires and in nearly
infinite other ways influences the real life in the real world. Prejudices, too.
● Vices. Sure as hell this planet would be better off and further developed
when utopia would be real. Well, utopia often gets boring and vices can be
learned to live with or evade. It's rarely easy and no guarantee either though.
● Sickness & Suffering. They are global players which have power over body
and soul. Fucking around and then dabbling love does not make the virus
heal away.
● Death. The one limit we all are reminded of and the one force we all will fall
to for sure. Very multi-faceted possibilities of meeting it. Not only
symbolically.
● Passion. That's those rare moments when something is really art by muse or
perhaps even real love. It often impacts with more force than a sledge
hammer or a truth of life. This is what made me contemplate that 'moments
of truth' have the ambivalence of virtue and vice themselves.

So Pauper sees no hope, no faith? Well, the author does, yet such things are in truth
what you make of it and I am not lacking the confidence to accept that life has a
habit of making us suffer more than we gain from it. When I wrote in 'My cult of
Thoolhoo' that one day all of us may realize that we are already trapped in a bleak
universe which exists to eradicate all of us, didn't I mention precisely those facts
which we as species opposed to ever develop out of the stone age?

My failure within society had also beneficial side-effects. As I mentioned in a file

available in German only or exclusively in the English version of 'Vudash
Hexenwahn – the guild of Zion'. Some readers sensed truth between the lines even
in 'Anathema – the skinhead revelation'. Others were deluded that they did so,
sorry.

As a roleplayer I would say my 'intuition' is just more efficient (yet more unreliable
too) then my mind as defined by society. Later I found that I have something often
associated with artists in my soul.
Yet with different priorities and as sure as I am mortal, I do not consider myself in
the same league as Picasso or other people who deserve what society meant with
artist, before madness and word-games clouded the truth. I know, yet I have to live
in this society and sometimes, I even appreciate it.

I call it a partial compatibility or family (as in lifestyles) symptom. Our souls have
some similar sense or priority, yet with a different purpose. That's, to me for now,
like a healer meeting a necromancer. Or to give an example of a tainted state like a
surgeon meeting a serial killer?

A recent example about anything dark and black-humored would be how similar
facts are handled completely different within the Gothic subculture and the black
metal subculture. I said subculture, not any freak claiming to belong or being an
expert. The same society which focuses on their psychological idiosyncrasies is not
integer enough to admit how often they, as many other people of different styles or
lack of some, contribute to society due their chosen path.

Why Hollywood Stars can't be that real

Being real means you are the person you are (living the soul), not necessarily what
life made you become and surely not what society expects you to be. Because
millions of people get sacrificed to finance some freak-legion posturing as Stars,
officials or superior life-forms. I didn't write committing crimes or doing
monstrosities or atrocities (Americanization) , for there is a difference. It just angers
the psychological studied for they can only make money when you are disturbed /
mentally sick or believing to be disturbed / mentally sick at a minimum.

A real Gothic or hip-hopper lives that way because it comes natural to him or her.
Not just to compensate as to get attention or make money. Stars on the other hand
must not be assholes (yet most are, well-masked but true) posturing as nice people,
they really depend on having fans. It's rarely enough to be liked by those people
who are like you in that business.

If a cop, paramedic, fire-fighter, taxi or bus driver or soldier sacrifices some

personality to get a proper job done I would label it more of a virtue. Until you
forget or neglect your family or wife about it?
For a Star it is more a (quite selfish and greedy, for we normal people never get that
amounts of money) necessity. It's part of their job, plain and simple.

Even in everyday jobs we run a risk of losing ourselves into routine. This is not
always healthy and quite a lot of people admitted they wasted their life due falling
prey to 'that's the best way' delusions. As a pauper it doesn't matter that much if
you know how to rise in society. The 'forces and mechanisms' which could make
you do so, just do not seem to work. Exploit by underpaid jobs or consequences of
the own way of life have something to do with it, yet I doubt that they are the
complete explanation.