Treasures

News.Politics.Commentary
LETTERS TO THE READER & TALKBACK GOOD FIGHT COUSIN TOMMY NEWS THALIDOMIDE GETS A MAKEOVER REGIONAL MISADVENTURES IN DENTISTRY FEATURE IS PUBLIC TV IN PERIL? MR. MEANERS CRIME WATCH STATE HOUSE REPORT DEALING WITH FAMILY COURT DULL ACHE CRACKER NATION TED RALL DEMS LEFT OUT IN THE COLD 3 3 4 5 12 8 9 11

BROKEN COMMANDMENT: AN ANALYSIS OF REPUBLICAN INFIGHTING IN S.C.

Contents
FEBRUARY 13, 2008 VOLUME 3 ISSUE 12

PUBLISHER Paul F. Blake paul@columbiacitypaper.com MANAGING EDITOR Todd Morehead todd@columbiacitypaper.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sean Rayford theangrywhale@yahoo.com ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com OFFICE MANAGER AJ Taylor aj@columbiacitypaper.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Missy Curls mcurls@columbiacitypaper.com Molly McCarter molly@columbiacitypaper.com Kara Hicks khicks@columbiacitypaper.com POLITICS & MEDIA Ismail Lagardien ilagardien@columbiacitypaper.com NEIGHBORHOOD AFFAIRS DESK James D. McCallister/dmac@columbiacitypaper.com

PG. 6

Arts.Entertainment.Etc
SOUNDBOARD PUNK/INDIE/EMO/SKA/HARDCORE/METAL/ROCK VOCAL BOOTH KICKIN IT OLD SCHOOL ART LISTINGS & FEATURE TET OFFENSIVE RETROSPECTIVE MOVIE TIMES & REVIEW WILD WEST COMEDY TOUR JONESIN CROSSWORDS & SUDOKU SAVAGE LOVE ADULT SEX ADVICE SPORTS ASS HARD TO BEAT AT GOLDEN TEE

PG. 4

15 16 16 17 19 19 20
PG. 16

FOUNDING EDITOR Corey Hutchins Now hiring freelance news writers! todd@columbiacitypaper.com CONTRIBUTORS
Andy Brack, Graeme Fouste, Corey Hutchins, Harry S. Iarch, Magdalene Kellett, Ismail Lagardien, WR Marshall, Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Fred Richardson, Dan Savage, Mike Serge, Kingsley Waring

Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies are $1 each. Views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC

Quote of the issue:

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. -Al Einstein

COLUMBIA CITY PAPER 701 Gervais Street, Suite 150-218 Columbia, SC 29201 803.446.3458 / Fax: 803.461.4640

FEBRUARY 13, 2008

the Good Fight

Letters to the

COUSIN TOMMY: EVERY FAMILY HAS ONE

Cousin Tommy always African identity. marched to a different drumWe are a congregation mer. This is not to say that he which is Unashamedly Black ever harbored any radical or and Unapologetically Christian, subversive ideas. Far from it. their Web site says in its openHe is one of the most convening line. Apparently that is too tional people I have ever much for the originator of my known. cousins e-mail, who declined to What makes him different identify himself. is his utter cluelessness. Barack Obama is a Somehow he has floated member of this church and is through life these 60 years in running for President of the BY WILL MOREDOCK his own little bubble of selfU.S., the e-mailer writes. If you Founder of Columbias absorption. He has some how look at the first page of their former Point newsweekly managed to stay married and website, you will learn that this raise three very bright daughters obvi- congregation has a non-negotiable comously the product of their mothers genes. mitment to Africa. No where is AMERICA The den of his house is filled with plastic even mentioned. Notice too, what color model cars a passion he has had since you will need to be if you should want to early childhood. Most of his conversation is join Obama's church... B-L-A-C-K!!! still sprinkled with talk of cars cars he has This last statement is baldly untrue. seen, cars he has driven, cars he wishes Check the Web site for yourself. he had seen or driven. Doesn't look like his choice of religion If there is an angry or mean thought in has improved much over his former Muslim Cousin Tommys head, he has never upbringing? the writer continues. Are you expressed it to me. He is one of the most aware that Obama's middle name is placid and harmless people I know. I guess Mohammed? Strip away his nice looks, the it should come as no surprise to learn that big smile and smooth talk and what do you he is a Christian. Indeed, he is very get? Certainly a racist, as plainly defined Christian. And I have no objection to that. I by the stated position of his church! And am on his e-mail list and I regularly get possibly a covert worshiper of the Muslim mass mailings explaining why evolution is faith, even today. This guy desires to rule a lie, showing me the face of Jesus in a over America while his loyalty is totally photograph of nimbus clouds, offering vested in a Black Africa? maudlin verse and prose of little children There is enough ignorance and misindying and going to be with Jesus. All well formation in this paragraph to fill an editoriand good. Im cool with all of that. al page of the Post and Courier. Of course, But Cousin Tommy like the vast Obamas middle name is Hussein (as the majority of his white neighbors in the town right wing radio nuts love to remind us) and of Kingstree, about 60 miles north of here he was not raised as a Muslim. In his auto is also a Republican and thats where I biography he tells a moving story of his start having problems. Because, you see, childhood come-to-Jesus moment. But the along with the sweet, sentimental and silly vicious people who originate e-mails such religious e-mails he sends me there are the as this are not looking for the truth. They other ones the ones explaining why God seek to use the Internet to smear and mishates gays and I should, too; the ones inform. And witless souls such as my declaring that George W. Bush has been cousin are only too happy to aid and abet chosen by the Almighty to lead our country them. and anybody who doesnt like it is a traitor; I think Cousin Tommy needs to get a the ones informing me that all Muslims are life. evil and Jane Fonda is more evil than all Muslims. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com I dont know if Cousin Tommy even reads this nonsense before passing it along to his e-mail cluster that must include half the continent. It certainly is out of keeping with the laidback, clueless demeanor he exhibits when I am around him. But recently he sent me an email that was so spiteful, so mendacious that I think some response is necessary, but I have still not figured out what. Perhaps the best I can hope for is to turn it into a teachable moment, to use it as evidence of the pathological brand of politics some people in this country practice. The e-mail dealt with Barack Obamas church, Trinity United Church of Christ, in Chicago. Like many large, urban black churches, it seems to offer a kind of American liberation theology, blended with a strong

Dear super quick express oil change center, OK, let me get this straight: I have, say, an unopened edible Valentine thong in my floorboard (a gift) when I leave my vehicle at the entrance to the garage, hand you my key and take a seat with a 1997 Car and Driver magazine in the waiting room. Then when you return the key to me and I get in my car to find the thong missing along with all the change in my console, you are not responsible for items left in the car unattended as stated on the handwritten sign taped to your counter? Thats such a warp of logic that it has to have held up in a few courts of law. Kind of like the woman who tripped over her own kid in a store and won a subsequent lawsuit. Man, were in the wrong racket. Columbia City Paper

Reader

Dear wretch who goes out in public with the flu, Unclean! Right there! Do you really need that throw rug so bad that it cant wait until youre no longer contagious and coughing on everyone in the checkout line? Its people like you that will eventually bring society to its knees. The Spanish Flu epidemic, smallpox, bubonic plague; all could have been avoided were it not for a few fatheads who refused to stay home with some soup and good spy novel like youre supposed to. Columbia City Paper Dear long arm of the law, We heard that city government is considering issuing warrants for literally thousands of citizens who are delinquent on parking ticket payments. Certainly this newspaper would grind to a temporary halt until our bail bondsman could be dragged out of the bar. But a more pressing issue to take into account when considering this parking ticket dragnet: the entire Five Points economy could shut down if the bulk of its workforce, customer base, and residentsall of whom suffer parking tickets dailywere taken off the street. City Paper staff in a cell with Five Points merchants? My God, we wont make it through the night! Columbia City Paper

Dear Senator Harvey Peeler, We applaud your motion to require mandatory drug testing for state legislators. Sure everyone up at the State House will miss those heady days when a fella could whip a few grams of pure Colombian white horse into his head and spend an honest weekend in a straw hat and pajama bottoms, rubbing his gums and chasing giggling call girls around the family lake house. But, heck, if the rest of have to wiz into a cup just to get jobs as shipping clerks, youd think someone passing legislation on nuclear waste would need to have a clear head. Were just sayin... Columbia City Paper

Dear Sir, This spirited attack [Coming to Terms with History Vol.3, Issue 11] upon Ben Tillman is both ill-advised and certainly not well thought out. History is the tale each generation weaves to describe what its forefathers have done, not what (in view of changing attitudes and different conditions) it thinks they should have done. Any belated reprimand to our former leaders who held racist views or owned slaves will require renaming the numerous public buildings, many streets and even a few towns and

Talk Back!

cities throughout this state or, at the very least, an avalanche of on second thought corrective brass markers. Sincerely, John H. Moore Columbia PS- How does anyone know Jimmy Byrnes (in statue on State House lawn) is reading a book of law? Perhaps it is prime porn. If so, this fact should be properly noted on brass plaque.

FEBRUARY 13, 2008

THE video taking country by storm STORY OF STUFF Online

BY TODD MOREHEAD Since its release a little over 2 months ago, the Story of Stuff, a 20 minute animated short film on the social and environmental shortcomings of our current materials economy, boasts over 1.5 million viewers, spurred mostly by people forwarding the film via email. The viral video, written and hosted by international sustainability activist, Annie Leonard, breaks the worlds current linear materials economy down to its component parts and warns of a bleak future if we as consumers dont adjust (or just quit) our ways. The film shows a linear system in crisis on a finite planet from the extraction of materials to production, distribution and ultimately the landfill. The films message is stark: the planet is running out of resources, citing that one-third of the earths natural resource space is gone. But the film isnt just about the planet, but more importantly, we who live on it and who are, Leonard believes, largely suffering due to the current system. Aside from those in the Third World, who labor in squalor to provide our cheap goods, we consumers ultimately suffer, she says, in a culture that has become little more than a cycle of work, television advertisements and shopping. Whereas our grandparents valued stewardship, reuse and thrift, she says, we are currently caught up in a system that has converted the buying and use of goods into rituals. She quotes post World War II

Controversial drug gets a makeover

BY TODD MOREHEAD Thalidomide is back. The drug that left thousands of newborn babies severely malformed between the late 1950s and early 1960s has been given a public relations makeoverand a new nameand is now being used to fight a certain type of blood cancer. It was recommended for approval for use in Europe by the European Medicines Agency late last month. In 1956 a German pharmaceutical company called Chemie Grnenthal rushed their newly synthesized drug, thalidomide, through clinical trials, gained hasty approval from West Germanys Federal Health Office and distributed it over the counter using the brand name Contergan. The drug was marketed as a sedative that also combated symptoms of morning sickness in pregnant women. One Grunenthal employee reportedly gave the drug to his pregnant wife during its trial period and when his child was born without ears researchers failed to make the connection. During the drugs roughly five years on the market in Europe some 10,000 babies were born with malformed internal organs and were often missing their arms and legs, many sprouting flipper-like appendages from their shoulders and hips. The marketing of the drug is considered by

many to be one of the great medical tragedies of the 20th Century. But the drug may redeem itself in the 21st Century. In 2003, the Mayo Clinic reported on a group of researchers at the University of Arkansas who found that thalidomide effectively sent multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer, into complete remission. Thalidomidenow often marketed as Thalomidwas approved by the FDA in 2006 as a treatment for myeloma. Some European handicapped rights activistswho dont want to interfere with patient recovery but who also fear that another generation of thalidomide babies could be bornare pushing for strict guidelines. Proponents of the new use of the drug say the birth defects associated with thalidomide would not effect men (who cant become pregnant) or women with multiple myeloma, as that condition alone would likely discourage pregnancy during treatment. Still, routine pregnancy testing is also required during treatment as well as a thalidomide education program. Last month, the European Medicines Agency recommended that thalidomide be used to treat multiple myeloma patients over the age of 65. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

economist Victor Lebow, who lauded a system that would require us to seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption. We need things consumed, burned up, replaced, and discarded at an ever-increasing rate. The result, Leonard says, is that depression in the American population took an upswing around the same time TV and the consumption loop started. The system hinges on a business practice called planned obsolescence or products that she describes as intentionally designed for the dump, so that consumers must then buy a replacement or upgrade. She also cites the perceived obsolescence, like clothing fashions, that convince us to throw away stuff thats still useful. According to her data 99 percent of the stuff we buy and consume is trashed within six months, where it takes up space in landfills or is incinerated, thus polluting the air. Leonards solution: sustainable living, wasting less, cutting off the TV and finding recreational activities other than shopping. She encourages viewers to buy local when shopping is necessary and to support businesses that seek to protect the environment and support workers rights. And while she encourages us all to recycle our stuff when we can, she says, that only fixes a symptom of a much larger problem. More importantly, we may need to recycle our elected officials, she says, in order to implement the massive changes needed to realign the system.

Runyan secures Azar endorsement

BY TODD MOREHEAD During election years in Columbia, some things are a certainty in the months between January and April: the sky is blue, the grass is green, gravity keeps it all in place and Joe Azar runs for city council. But, for the first time since 1992 Azar has decided to sit this one out and has instead fully endorsed Cameron Runyan in his run for incumbent Daniel Rickenmanns at-large seat. I trust his integrity and his heart, Azar told City Paper by phone on Monday. I trust him to do what he feels is right regardless of any gain or loss to him. And I always said that if I found someone that I could really trust and respect, I would be happy to step back and endorse them and work hard for them. Joe is a wonderful person, Runyan told City Paper. Now, stylistically were different. But philosophically were similar on many issues. And Im proud that hes supporting me. Runyan has also garnered key endorsements from former Superintendent of Education Inez Tenenbaum, Sen. Phil Leventis, Rep. Bakari Sellers and other political heavyweights. So far, the bulk of media attention has focused on the race for Anne Sinclairs District 3 seat, the main talking points being the real estate development camp versus the neighborhood conservation and revitalization camp. But, the race for Rickenmanns at-large seat promises to go down to the wire and is one that will bring other key issues to light. Among other things, Runyan says he wants to focus on public safety, what he believes is a crumbling city infrastructure and creating an environment more conducive to green living. So far, he says, city council has fallen short of its basic obligation to keep its citizens safe; his own sister was robbed at gunpoint in Five Points back in the fall. I worry that Columbia has become a dangerous city to live in, he says. And theres a reason why people at city hall think all is rosy with the police department: its because theyre not out talking with the rank-and-file boots on the ground. When you get out and talk to folks you realize pretty quickly that police officers are overworked and there are bad inefficiencies in the department. The system is broken. Ive been to some of these struggling neighborhoods, Runyan says, and none
SEE RUNYAN: PAGE 5

FEBRUARY 13, 2008

AIKEN
OLLIE NORTH TO SURFACE
IN

BLACK AIKEN

HOTEL EMPLOYEE CLAIMS BOSS PUT NOOSE AROUND HIS NECK

Oliver North, a central figure in the Reagan Administrations Iran-Contra weapons and drug trafficking affair and current host of War Stories with Oliver North on FOX News, is slated to speak at a JROTC fundraiser in Aiken on March 12. North is expected to speak about the situations in Iraq and Iran. Tickets are $50 and are available through the USCA Etherredge Center box office at 803-641-3305.

ANDERSON
MAN ARRESTED
FOR PEDDLING

WAL-MART MEAT

Darryl Rich, 43, of Anderson was ordered to serve 35 days in jail and pay around $1,200 in fines for shoplifting meat from an Anderson area Wal-Mart and then attempting to resell it at half-price on Clemson Blvd. Rich was said to have left the store with 17 pieces of meat and two bottles of Tylenol. Police were alerted by the manager of an OCharleys restaurant when Rich attempted to sell the raw meat to restaurant goers and employees. BRAWLER KOS
SELF WITH MAILBOX

A former employee of the Charleston Place Hotel claims his white supervisor slipped a noose around his neck at an October hotel function at Boone Hall Plantation near Mt. Pleasant. John Green, 62, a former event supervisor at the hotel said his boss was showing a man from another country how to tie a noose and then snuck up behind Green, put the noose around his neck and began tightening it. Green, who claims he was fired for complaining to hotel managers about the incident, says he filed a report with the Employment Opportunity Commissions office in Savannah, Ga., though Charleston Place management says they have not heard from the commission. The hotels general manager says Green was fired for violating company rules, but those rules have so far not been specified.

FLORENCE / MYRTLE BEACH

WOMAN
CLAIMS DENTIST ACCIDENTALLY PULLED ALL HER UPPER TEETH

RUNYAN: CONT.

FROM PAGE

of these people have ever seen my opponent. They said in four years not once has he walked into these places. I dont know if its because he thinks its dangerous or what. But if you talk to these people you see that they are hurting. Theyve been left behind. Their neighborhood is deteriorating, its spawning crime and its spilling out into the rest of the city. You cant contain that. Youve got to go in there and start to rehabilitate the community. You just cant govern from an ivory tower. While Runyan rolls up his sleeves and prepares for battle, back in Five Points, Joe Azar is happy to be focusing on Upstairs Audio, the small business he says has always played second fiddle to his civic aspirations and duties. He says he also wants to spend more time with his mother, now in her nineties and basically, according to his recent newsletter, have some Joe time. When you run for public office, youre always in the spotlight, people are always looking at you and sometimes you cant be a human being, he says. If you jump up and dance with everybody at a night club because the music is great, people

always wonder Whats he doing? You always have to fit an image and it can keep you from living life. Plus, he says running for office effects candidates physically. You get fat. You get tired. You get old. You take a lot of abuse. But, he says, you also meet a lot of wonderful people who care about the community. Its both a wonderful thing and a difficult thing. Its easier to run 100 miles on foot than it is to run for office. Will he ever run again? He certainly hasnt ruled it out. For now, though, he just hopes his candidacies have, at the very least, inspired other people to run. And for now, he feels like hes doing his part by supporting the candidate he feels is the best man for the job. Theres more strength in cooperation, he says. Its not about ego, its about what we can do to make the community better. And Id rather support someone who can do that. Im gonna miss the debate I can tell you that, he laughs. But I feel good about Cameron and I support him 105 percent. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

Anderson police responding to a domestic disturbance call last week found a man riddled with cuts on his face and elbow, who said his injuries were caused by a mailbox. The brawl reportedly began when Bradley Vickery, 38, allegedly struck Cornelia Burton, 37, on the lip. Burton responded by somehow biting Vickery on his tongue, sending the man into a drunken rage. He was slinging around a mailbox, one officer noted in a report obtained by the Anderson Independent-Mail, [and] hit himself with the mailbox several times while trying to swing it. Neither Burton nor Vickery pressed charges and no arrests were made.

CHARLESTON
ROBBER HITS SAME BANK TWICE IN ONE MONTH

FLORENCEA Sumter woman is suing the Sexton Dental Clinic in Florence, claiming dentists accidentally removed all 16 of her upper teeth during what should have been a routine procedure to fix a cracked tooth. Elizabeth Smith filed the complaint after a May 2006 visit to the clinic during which three practicing dentists at Sexton recommended extracting two teeth in addition to the cracked one. When the procedure was over Smith says all of her upper teeth were gone and the dentists, according to court documents, had fabricated entries in her dental chart to cover their tracks. The clinic has so far denied all charges. Smiths attorney, Robert Ransom, submitted a sworn affidavit from a third party dentist who claims information he found in Smiths dental records didnt match what he found in his examination of her mouth. Ransom told the Florence Morning News that potential damages awarded from the suit will hopefully help Smith replace what she lost. She certainly wants her teeth back, he said.

ORANGEBURG
MAN
PLANS TO GIVE WIFE POTATO FOR VALENTINES DAY

Michael Molina Lopez, 44, of Charleston has been arrested and charged with robbing the same North Charleston Wachovia twice in less than a month. On Jan. 7 Lopez allegedly entered the bank and gave the teller a note advising her to cooperate and comply with his demands. The robber employed the same tactic during his Feb. 4 robbery and police were able to match fingerprints on both notes with Lopez.

The Orangeburg Times and Democrat reported Sunday that Orangeburg resident, John Gaskin, plans to give his wife of 20 years a heart shaped potato he found at an area supermarket for Valentines Day. I intended to eat it, Gaskin told the newspaper, but then decided to give it to his wife, Martha, he said, to show my love for her. -TODD MOREHEAD
FEBRUARY 13, 2008

PHOTO
BY WES WOLFE Even while it is widely believed that Ronald Reagan in 1966 said, Thou shall not speak ill of any fellow Republican, current historical analysis concludes that he may never even have spoken those words. He endorsed that phrase, words uttered by the California Republican Party chairman, in his gubernatorial campaign that year, but even a professor of history at Cal State-Fullerton said Reagan broke that commandment during his GOP primary campaign. Over 40 years later, intraparty wars threaten the party of Lincoln and an exemplary case study can be seen in South Carolina as we draw near to the next general election. Here in the Palmetto State, the question is whether you are Republican enough, with Reagan serving as the mold, and it is this fight, among others, that has fractured the states conservative movement and created a political atmosphere where sharks are in the water, where any rumor can spawn a front-page scandal. Such is the case with the rumors surrounding Ed McMullen and his departure from the preeminent conservative think tank in the state, the South Carolina Policy Council. Its hard to imagine the South Carolina political scene without Ed McMullen, the man who led SCPC for over 15 years. McMullen is still around, but no longer as the president of the organization. The official reason is that he left to pursue a private public affairs firm, but recent anonymous rumors charge that McMullen was forced out for spending SCPCs money, as John McCain would say, like a drunken sailor. As is the case with many South Carolina political soap operas, someones right, someone is totally lying, and its hard to figure out the truth. Just as interesting, no one who says McMullen did something wrong will go on the record about his departure. To a person McMullen says the allegations couldnt they say they are frightened of the political be further from the truth. and possibly personal ramifications of taking Im constantly perplexed at how people him on. As one person close to the Policy in this town try and spin stuff, he said, and Council said of the higher ups in a close net- says his record as president of the Policy work of conservative organizations including Council speaks for itself. SCPC, these are a very vindictive group of The same source also charges that after people. an anonymous letter was sent to SCPCs McMullen, speaking about nefarious board decrying McMullens spending, board rumors surrounding his departure from the members began to look into the situation Policy Council, said that to say that there and the New York trip became the very subwas excessive spending whatever this stantial straw that broke the camels back. person is saying couldnt happen without Speaking on background with this publithe board being well cation under the conaware of every dollar dition that we not being spent for the last reveal any names, 18 years. He added the source responsithat he has only been ble for the rumors president for about 15 about McMullen years, but that structure claims that in was in place from the November, McMullen day I walked in to the was called out on his day I walked out. spending issues by Whoevers [saying] this members of the stuff theres been Policy Council. After a rumors flying around board meeting, the town. The one I got last source says week was that my wife McMullens computer was dying of cancer, and cell phone were and I had to leave the repossessed, the -ASHLEY LANDESS, PRESIDENT server link to his Policy Council because OF THE S.C. POLICY COUNCIL house severed, the of that. This town is sick, and this is the kind locks changed at of sick stuff that simply isnt true. SCPCs building, along with the setting of a Last July, McMullen took a trip to New new keypad code for the security system. York, where rumors abound that he spared The source also claims McMullens former no expense the best seats on the plane, office was sealed until January. top hotels and a house in the Hamptons, luxThe former SCPC president disputes ury travel and dinners at the most elegant each one of these claims. restaurants in town. The trip was said to I know I was in and out of the office reghave run up a $20,000 tab. ularly, and never had any problem getting in For such a leading conservative organi- and out of the office, he said. Whoever zation consistently toeing the line of fiscal [said] that, I cant fathom. I can tell you that conservatism, the allegations of liberal we did have a human resources issue with spending would be enough to make OHenry another employee, that we did change some blush. security, and that was changed around

BY

PAUL SHAFFNER

Whoevers [saying] this stuff theres been rumors flying around town. The one I got last week was that my wife was dying of cancer, and I had to leave the Policy Council because of that. This town is sick, and this is the kind of sick stuff that simply isnt true.

September-October. Im not going to into a human resources issue with an employee, but I can [say] there is clearly a precedent for that anytime anyone leaves an organization, you change the locks and keys. McMullen also asserted that the board never had to make a decision as to whether to keep him at the Policy Council. When I submitted my resignation, that week I had numerous board members calling me, urging me to reconsider it, he said. Thats what Ive been dealing with the last five years every time Im ready to leave. I had a great board and a great group of people who really wanted me to stay there, and retire there, but thats not what was in the cards for me. McMullen also said that there was never a point where the board had to support him or not support him and that he submitted his resignation to start a public affairs company. The board was never in a position to where they had to make a decision, he said. Regardless of any solid evidence of an internal scandal involving the departure of the president of the Palmetto States leading conservative think tank, the perpetuation of the rumors surrounding it by political consultants sheds considerable light on the political culture in the states conservative movement. Allegedly, an Associated Press reporter had caught wind of the rumor and called up the Policy Council in early December in regards to possible spending issues by McMullen. Ashley Landess, the current president of the S.C. Policy Council, on Feb. 11 confirmed that a reporter did call to verify rumors that McMullen was fired for embezzlement. OK, thats just a flat out lie, she said of the allegation. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. These guys are nuts. I mean Ive got to be candid with you, this stuff is crazy.

FEBRUARY 13, 2008

According to the source perpetuating the rumor, within hours of the reporters call a post went up on an S.C. blog called The Palmetto Scoop announcing McMullens departure. The quickness of the post could be attributed to the blog being run by 23year-old Adam Fogle, an employee of Mail Marketing Strategies, one of Rick Quinns firms. [McMullen] got to be very in tight with the Quinns and their support of different people and candidates and lobbyists who are involved with them, said another source familiar with the S.C. Policy Council. Landess, who officially took over the presidency of the SCPC this year, said she was stunned at some of the rumors shed heard. I frankly laughed, she said. The New York trip wasnt the first time McMullens supposed spending practices caused some ire, according to those greasing the gears on this particular rumor mill. There were also thousands allegedly spent on the building that the organization owns on Pendleton Street. For a group founded on conservative issues, sources say there was liberal spending on gold-framed mirrors and expensive furniture. The allegations are enough to make Landess chuckle. We raised money to spruce up a building, she said, shocked to hear someone citing that as something worthy of scandal. I mean Ill be honest there was a hole in my ceiling. We raised money specifically for the purpose of renovating the building and sprucing it up a little bit and, you know, yeah, you know thats what we did. I just dont know where the other stuff is coming fromwho is saying this about us? Who is saying this kind of crazy stuff? Anonymous sources, obviously, and it is enough to make Landess agree that these current rumors are another example of the political culture in South Carolina. Things really do get blown way out of proportion in this town, she said. The guy resigned, she said, speaking of McMullen. I mean thats what happened. And all this crazy stuff that were hearing out thereI just dont know what else to say. According to profit and loss statements obtained by this publication, the S.C. Policy Council did in 2001 spent about $2,300 on repair and maintenance. The next year, during McMullens run for the Republican nomination to be Secretary of State and a time during which the council enlisted an interim president to take his place that number dropped dramatically to $327.58. But, once McMullen returned, spending on the building jumped over 500 percent, close to the 2001 numbers. Spending continued to increase, according to the SCPC statements, until a 2005 high-water mark of over $8,100. In the past two years, spending has declined to close to the 2001 appropriation. But, the expenses can be easily explained by the fact that, as McMullen says, the organization put together a capital campaign to fully own the building and get it into top shape. I think my record at the policy council speaks for itself, McMullen said. Its one of the top think tanks in the nation a budget around a million dollars a six-figure endowment, a building thats paid for, that we did a capital campaign for, and Ive left with reserves and the organization in the best shape it has ever been and staffed with

some of the best staff in the country. Club for Growth and the Palmetto Policy In a state known for its whisper cam- Group all operate out of the same Devine paigns, these attacks on McMullen and the Street location. Policy Council show a new kind of politics In the 2006 General Assembly primaries here that has all the trappings of a blaring and general elections, Rich reportedly threw whistle. Furthermore, those who cite fear of over $160,000 in to the process via different retribution as the main basis for their companies and limited liability corporations anonymity in the attacks makes the pitch of he controls. it all the more enticing to the ear. Especially, John Fund is well known as a writer for in a town where gossip is hard currency. the Wall Street Journal, a TV pundit and an If one were to look at the SCPCs profit advocate for the sorts of issues on which the and loss statements through the lens of Policy Council works. Steve Moore helped someone looking for liberal spending the found the national Club for Growth, and Carl dots can connect enough to make at least Helstrom heads up the State Policy Network some kind of case for the black helicopter (SPN). SPN is an umbrella organization of set and tin-foil hat crowd. conservative think tanks, of which the South McMullens travel costs did warrant its Carolina Policy Council was the cornerstone. own line item in SCPCs reports but if he did Mallory Factor, a former resident of New run up bills over $20,000 in one trip, its hid- York City and current denizen of Charleston, den somewhere in the accounting of expen- was supposed to be either included in the ditures. In the past seven years, McMullen meeting, or apprised of it. Factor has used averaged between $2,000 and $5,000 in his extensive capital to donate to anti-govtravel expenses, with the exception of put- ernment conservative candidates and causting up over $10,000 in 04. es, running in the same circles as Rich and McMullen explains that not only does the Fund. While Factor was still in New York, organization have its own bookkeeper, but Gov. Mark Sanford and U.S. Sens. Jim an independent bookkeeper oversaw that DeMint and Lindsey Graham stayed at his accounting as a way to make sure every townhouse at different times in what is called cent was accounted for and nothing wrong the Norquist suite, after famous libertarian was going on. activist Grover Norquist. In an Aug. 2006 His salary as president of the organiza- story in the New York Sun, Factor has fond tion did go up substantially, though. Between memories of Governor Sanford of South 2001 and 2006, the salary allocated to the Carolina raiding his freezer for ice cream. president increased more than 100 percent According to the Sun, the reason Factor in five years, from $63,333 in 2001 to decamped from the Big Apple could be that $130,000 in 2006. But, every salary among his political energy is used up in the Empire SCPC staff jumped during that period, State, and he was looking for a sunnier place though none others topped the $80,000 from which to operate. mark. There appeared There were trips to to be a reexamination of other locations and the salary structure folother important names lowing 2006, and last for McMullen to meet year the top two staff with, but the New York members had their meetings illustrate the income cut by about 25 money connection in percent. what has been called Every year that Ive by state legislators been president of Policy -ASHLEY LANDESS, PRESIDENT here as the most diviCouncil, the board has OF THE S.C. POLICY COUNCIL sive issue in the State been substantially House: school choice. rewarding with bonuses, McMullen said. I While its unknown to what degree didnt make those decisions, the board made SCRG is funded by out-of-state school those decisions. Thats a clear indication that choice money, and Richs relationship with theyve been pretty happy with what Ive the state Club for Growth chapters is clear, been doing. the Policy Council has been on the front It is McMullens travel that throws light on lines of the debate. SCPCs role as an advocate for issues such Alliance for School Choice (ASC), a as school choice. According to one docu- group that calls itself the largest organizament obtained by City Paper, McMullen was tion in America supporting private education set to meet with Howard Rich, John Fund, vouchers and tax credit programs, gave Steve Moore and Carl Helstrom in a trip to $148,000 to SCPC in 2004, according to New York. All four are united by issues like their profit and loss statements, as Sanfords school choice, judicial selection and exten- push for the Put Parents In Charge Act sively cutting back state and national gov- (PPIC) was gaining momentum. That year, ernment. the Policy Council spent over $28,000 on Rich has become a legendary figure in school choice related expenses, including funding anti-government causes with his sig- over $17,000 for a school choice retreat. An nificant wealth. He is the founder of U.S. additional $6,750 was split between studies Term Limits and chairs Americans for on county and school spending, and school Limited Government (ALG), along with serv- choice. ing on the boards of Club for Growth and the The next year, according to Policy Cato Institute. In particular importance to Council documents, brought in a tsunami of South Carolina, Rich chairs Club for Growth dollars. ASC gave $120,000 and research State Action, which helps set up and support leads us to believe the New Yorkers for state efforts, like S.C. Club for Growth and School Choice Research & Education school choice advocates South Carolinians Committee chipped in $960,000. Most of for Responsible Government (SCRG). In fil- that money went to an $814,888 media buy, ings with the state, SCRG has listed its and radio and TV advertisement production. phone number as being the same for U.S. Another $7,371 was allocated for meetings Term Limits, and the previous owner of its related to the issue. Web site was ALG. Currently, SCRG, S.C. After the failure of PPIC to make it to a

That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. These guys are nuts. I mean Ive got to be candid with you, this stuff is crazy.

vote in the House of Representatives, the tide washed back out on the big money projects. However, donations from foundations picked up, increasing by half, and corporate donations saw an up-tick of eight percent. Late last year, SCPC was still running down donations from ASC, the Parents in Charge Foundation and ALG. Other potential backers were the Walton Foundation (of Wal-Mart fame), the Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation and the Charles G. Koch Foundation. The Milton and Rose D. Friedman Foundation, Jaquelin Hume Foundation and Barre Seid Foundation already committed a combined $150,000 to the Policy Council. South Carolina foundations that sent tens of thousands of dollars in support include the Roe Foundation (set up by the late Thomas Roe, founder of the Policy Council) and the Milliken Family Foundation. Each foundation is marked by strong support, through grants and donations, of libertarian-leaning conservative issues like school choice. In the big fight over school choice in 2005, the significant GOP opposition to the bill was best summed up by then-Greenville County School Board Chairman Chuck Saylors. The word is out, Saylors told The (Greenville, S.C.) MetroBeat. They have a multi-year plan to pass this legislation, and the money and political will to keep going for five years. They think if you keep pushing hard enough, sooner or later, you'll get something through. Saylors continued, I would consider myself a life-long Republican, but this lockstep mentality is driving people away. This is just an honest disagreement over what we consider a bad piece of legislation. The battle extended into the GOP primaries, where in 2004 and 2006, Republican opponents of school choice were targeted for defeat by groups like SCRG. In Rep. Bill Cottys renomination run against Sheri Few in District 79 in 06, he faced stiff attacks from the pro-school choice faction. Theyve petrified my colleagues, Cotty said in a column in The State by Cindi RossScoppe in Aug. 2006. When they see $30,000, $40,000 spent in my race $85,000 to $100,000 theyre petrified. When you spend that kind of money, theyre hitting their objective, not by how many races they win but by being able to scare people: If you dont agree with us, were gonna back the truck (full of money) up. The groups, particularly S.C. Club for Growth, are gearing up for another try at unseating incumbent Republicans, this time in the June 2008 primaries. As described in a Jan. 23 Free Times story The Hit List, (full disclosure: the author of this piece cowrote the story) former Sanford spokesman Will Folks drew up a proposal to S.C. Club for Growth to target, ultimately, 15-20 legislators. Many lawmakers on the list attributed their presence on it to opposition to school choice. GOP political consultants, spoken to on background, lament how the split within the state party is paralyzing conservative legislative efforts. Unless something changes, that will be the status quo through the next two election cycles. Corey Hutchins contributed to the reporting of this story. You can reach Wes Wolfe at wswolfe@gmail.com.
FEBRUARY 13, 2008

Mr. Meaners
CRIME WATCH
THE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THESE EVENTS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. THE ACCOUNTS COME DIRECTLY FROM POLICE REPORTS.
29204 A 29-year-old woman was trying to cross the street downtown, when she says she stepped into an open water meter hole that had been left uncovered. According to police, her knee was swollen and EMS had to be called in to take her to the hospital; 2100 block Hampton Street. with $600 in cash and four personal checks made out to The State newspaper. 29206 When youre shopping at the store, its probably not the best idea to keep your wallet in the shopping cart while you compare prices on the green beans. Just ask the 50-yearCOMPILED BY COREY HUTCHINS old woman who had hers stolen this week 29203 for doing just that. Police say the woman lost Two douchebags in black facemasks bust over $70 when someone jacked her blue walinto the China Dragon with guns drawn, but let out of her cart while she shopped; 5400 one of the employees isnt having any of it. block Forest Drive. Running into the kitchen, the employee told the buffet bandits that he too had a gun and 29210 that the cops were on their way. No Kung Pao Apparently, someone is taking the Lil Wayne for these jagoffs; they got away with no song Little Duffel Bag Boy way too seriousmoney, no jade Buddha statue, nothing; 3300 ly. According to police, an 18-year-old man block Farrow Road. was caught stuffing clothes into a duffel bag at Burlington Coat Factory and was chased 29203 from the building. The duffel bag douchebag On the other side of town, another scumbag ran into the Boozer Shopping Center where rolls into the China Express brandishing an he was taken down and brought back to the old rusted revolver and demanding the store to explain himself; 400 block Bush River employees to open the register and lay down Road. on the floor. Cops say the man nabbed $300 in cash from the business then hopped in a 29203 car and took off before they got there; 2000 When cops approach a 27-year-old man block Harden Street. leaving a known drug area, the junkie gets defensive and starts causing a scene. The 29204 next thing the cops know, their suspect is Meanwhile, out in Northeast Columbia, two pulling out a cigarette box and dumping out men of the same look and build pulled out a grams of the cricky-crackity into his hands revolver at the China Kitchen, told the and then gobbling them down before the employees to open their register, and stole cops can stop him. After an aborted attempt $450. The robbers took off on foot before the at fleeing, the crackhead is also busted for police showed up; 2400 block Forest Drive. having weed in his sock and taken to jail. Hate to be his cellmate; 3500 block River 29212 Drive. Bed Bath and Beyond common sense: A man walks into the store on Harbison and employ- 29202 ees of the business watch him take a $600 You gonna get whats coming to you! Thats down comforter off the shelf and walk right by what a 21-year-old man yelled to his babys the registers without paying for it. Bed Bath mama when she wouldnt let him inside to and Beyond store clerks say the man has come see the child. Police say the man later been in the store several times before and called and repeated the threat while an officer the next time they see him theyll be able to was there and that this behavior has been identify him; 130 block Harbison Blvd. going on since Christmas; 2300 block Read Street. 29201 Police cracked down on urban camping 29201 when homeless people set up shelters or What would you do if you woke up and found sleep near their shopping carts and took a strange 29-year-old woman in your kitchen inventory of every item found in one hobos making herself a ham sandwich? Well, call shopping cart near Five Points. Among the the cops, I guess? Thats what the man did, items found in the 60-year-old man with half and its a good thing, too. Turns out the lady an arms possession was a crack pipe and a had a warrant out for her arrest; 1700 block bottle of Propoxyphene pain pills. Police then Washington Street. charged the hobo with stealing shopping carts belonging to Kroger and Food Lion and 29205 hauled off to jail; 1200 block Lady Street. A 34-year-old woman told police that shed gotten into an argument with her 43-year-old 29209 husband about him being drunk. The man, A 19-year-old man gets out of his car in a apparently, didnt like that, and grabbed her parking lot and the next thing he knows from the chair, shoved her against the wall theres a man standing there pointing a gun and then slapped her in the face. Jerry at his face. Telling the man to give up his Springer wants your number; 1000 block keys, the carjacker hops in the ride and takes House Street. off, getting away not only with the car, but

Cracker Nation : We love putting crackers in charge

A DULL ACHE

George Bush is running out who wasnt white, they just didnt the clock, his presidential train want to go public with their wreck becomes more and more racism. They didnt realizeor obvious every day. Even many probably didnt carethat as who voted for him have realized soon as the votes were counted they made a colossal blunder they did go public with their and are doing penance as best racism. they can. Even better is the fact But it was anonymous racism, no one has heard from Lord of thats the kind we like around the Underworld Cheney for quite these parts. You dont think those some time. Rumor has it theyve pointy white hoods are just a hidden him in his old desk at fashion statement do you? BY W.R. MARSHALL Halliburton and its being shipped Now that a black man is actuto Dubai at this very moment. (Ol ally in the running for the presiDick likes the heat.) dency, we cant sit idly by. We have to stop So, with evil on the runeven though the this guy, and the best way to do that is to call country is in horrible shape thanks to George him an A-rab. There aint nothin lower than a the DullI can again have hopeat least I Koran totin, insurgency plottin, middle name thought I could. Hussein, A-rab. Then a black guy had to go ahead and So were crackers; hath not a Cracker run for president. Doesnt he know this is eyes. Hath not a Cracker hands, organs, America and we dont like black folk. Let me dimensions, senses, affections, passions; amend that: its not that we dont like them, and dont forget a truck with the stars and we just like them to know their place. They bars in the back window and Skynnard on can be mayors, entertainers, athletes, were endless replay coming from the crappy ineven letting them be quarterbacks these dash stereo. days, but president But were broadminded here in America; Black people have run for high office wed never end our prejudice with just polibefore, but none of them were serious candi- tics. dates, so we never had to enter into any real Recently, Tiger Woodswho has never discussions on the possibility of someone played the race card, who has let his preterother than a white man running things. natural talent conquer a very white world, all As long as that was the case, we could all the while spending his time and energy doing pretend that half the country isnt still terribly other good workswas embroiled in a conbitter over the outcome of the Civil War. troversy that, frankly, only a black man or a Weve all pretended pretty well that we want horse thief would find himself in. An off-handracial equalityokay, not all. Strom ed comment about the only way to stop Tiger Thurmonds been dead for five years and from winning everything was to lynch him some folks in South Carolina are still voting was said on the Golf Channel (watched by for him. And lets not forget his disciple and tens of tens). It went from there to a hangwannabe Imperial Wizard, Trent Lott, who mans noose making the cover of a Golfweek said America would be a better place if magazine (read by hundreds of hundreds.) Thurmond had been elected president. He You might want to know how a special apologized for that, got a wrist slap, lost his purpose noose could make it to the cover of position in the Senate for about five minutes a national magazine? Easy; lynching a black before getting back, got a fat book deal, then man is as funny in 2008 as it was in 1848. resigned his Senate seat for a fatter lobbying We just need to accept who we are and deal. keep our unbroken string of white guys in Were America, we just cant help our- charge of things. After all, white guys have selveswe love racist crackers. gotten us this far, and look around, things A few weeks ago, in New Hampshire, all could not be better. the polls had the black guy winning. Problem And dont get me started on that lesbian wasas surmised by all the pollsters who who wants to be in charge got all the polls wrongpeople lied when they said they were going to vote for a man talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

FEBRUARY 13, 2008

IN THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

Efforts to promote energy efficiency and renewables were boosted last week by the House compromise on S.360 and by the Senate announcement of a comprehensive package of energy conservation bills. The first bill was filed on Wednesday and would create a private, nonprofit organization for the poor administered by state regulators who represent consumers in utility matters. The fund, called "Operation Empowered," would be used to pay for energy efficiency measures for the poor, such as energy-efficient light bulbs or insulating windows. It would be funded by voluntary, tax-deductible contributions, grants and class-action settlements. Other bills in the package will offer a sales tax exemption and a $750 rebate for the purchase of an energy-efficient manufactured home; as well as tax credits to individuals who invest in renewable energy systems for their property, push state agencies to reduce energy consumption by 20 percent by 2020 and require the

agencies to use 10 percent of their energy through renewable sources by 2025. Citing projections that electricity costs are projected to increase 35-75% by the year 2015, McConnell stated that the cost will be a "drop in the bucket" of what the state now spends on wasted energy costs. "The cleanest kilowatt of electricity to generate is the kilowatt you do not have to generate at all," he concluded. Supporting the intent of the efficiency legislation package were representatives of utilities, cooperatives and conservationists. Energy conservation is a priority of the conservation community's Common Agenda. According to Dana Beach, Executive Director of the Coastal Conservation League, South Carolina ranks as the fourth least efficient state in the nation and while the state has inexpensive energy, homeowners have some of the country's highest electric bills. "This is really the issue of the century," he said, and conservation efforts are the "silver bullet" to many issues of the future.
For more information visit the CVSC at: www.conservationvotersofsc.org

LEGISLATURE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH FAMILY COURT BACKLOG

South Carolina lawmakers need those vacancies, but Toal said more to listen Wednesday when S.C. needed to be done. Supreme Court Chief Justice Jean Having three new additional Toal asks again for three extra famfamily court judges would be a ily court judges. huge impact for a very small investWhy? Because investing in jusment, said the chief justice, who tice will reduce backlogs and get delivers a State of the Judiciary cases through the system more speech at the Statehouse quickly. In turn, more than 100,000 Wednesday. The state could spend parents (voters) and children will be less than $2 million to fund three able to get on with their lives. new family court positions, three "It galls me to see the new circuit court positions and Legislature obsessing about the staffs to support them, said Toal, BY ANDY BRACK smokescreen issue of immigration who has been asking for more reform as they shirk their responsibility to help judges for the last three years. state government provide services that their But theres also more that lawmakers could badly citizens need, said one man involved in do to improve the family court system. They a case in family court. could enact a proposed family court reform that They want us to love them for cutting prop- has been stalled in the House since 2006. That erty taxes. Mine have been reduced, but any year, the state Senate passed a measure to savings I've realized have been offset by being encourage the family court system to use mediforced, because of the court delays, to contin- ation between parties before going to a judge ue to provide support for my estranged wife. " and to allow family courts to use voluntary More than 30,000 cases currently are hearing officers to deal with administrative matpending in the family court system. Last sum- ters with which judges currently are saddled. mer when three seasoned family court judges Were [essentially] running a collection died, the states large backlog of cases got program for DSS and it sucks up a day out of even worse. Fortunately, the legislature provid- every week of a family court judge, Toal said. ed some help over the past week by filling Voluntary hearing officers could take some of the administrative pressure off judges in support matters that often are prescribed by the Department of Social Services. House Judiciary Chairman Jim Harrison, RColumbia, didnt return calls about why the House continues to hold up family court reform. He and other leaders should resurrect the bill and push reform through to help thousands of South Carolina families. Other recent news of note: Marriage tax cut. A House GOP-proposed tax cut to married families just because theyre married still has us scratching our heads. About the only sense we can make of it is that some proponents must be trying to out-conservative others in bids to build credentials for reelection or higher office. On its face, the bill is discriminatory first to single heterosexual people and second to gays, who arent allowed to marry in the Palmetto State. Energy measures. Kudos to Sen. Glenn McConnell, R-Charleston, and others for pushing some new measures to conserve energy. The only hitch with their suggestions: Theyre baby steps that ignore proven big measures that will really allow the state to reduce its carbon footprint. Examples: Adoption of energy efficient appliance standards; enactment of renewable energy standards requiring utilities to get more of their power from green sources; and creation of a public benefits fund to encourage investments in renewable energy and energy efficiency strategies Clear about nuclear. Its heartening to see the S.C. House thwart an attempt to classify nuclear energy as renewable. Such a proposal never made sense because nuclear plants burn fuel (enriched nuclear material like uranium) that ends up as nasty radioactive waste. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
FEBRUARY 13, 2008

Ted Rall
"The truly undecided voter is rare, say those who study the psychology of voting," Joe Garofoli wrote in The San Francisco Chronicle. "Since neuroscientists say 90 percent of thought is unconscious, an undecided voter may have already decided--he just hasn't revealed his pick to himself yet." Whether I'm a rare bird or a typical victim of self-denial, I didn't know how I was going to vote until election day-or, to be more precise, an election minute. Roughly 15 to 20 percent of 2008 primary voters have had similar trouble getting their unconscious to talk to them. Most of the electoral procrastinators are conservative Republicans and liberal Democrats--party loyalists whose influence has been diluted by independents who vote in their primaries. As has been widely discussed, conservatives were unhappy with the entire field of Republican presidential contenders. Less noted but no less significant has been the effect of John Edwards' departure from the Democratic field. Lefties don't have a candidate. Like most hardcore liberals, I had planned to vote for Edwards. I'm a registered Democrat. I live in New York, a "closed primary" state. That left Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I studied the printed grid inside my mechanical voting machine, a steel beast from the 1950s. New York keeps threatening to replace the classic booths. I hope they keep them forever. Old-school machines have a feature I treasure: you flip a switch to make an "X" appear next to your choice. You're not committed until you pull the lever to open the curtain; you can flip the switch back and go with someone else instead. I moved the switch to Hillary, to see how it looked. Hillary. Ted Rall votes for Hillary. I asked myself my usual test question: If she won, and I watched her being sworn in next January, how would I feel? Bored. And slightly depressed. I thought about the experience issue, her biggest advantage. "I am offering 35 years of experience making change," she says. Though way overstated--35 years of what? being a lawyer?--living in the White House has to have left her with some insights. Unlike Obama, Hillary wouldn't lose her way searching for the restroom. But political dynasties suck. BushClinton-Bush-Clinton would be a sad statement. A nation of 300 million people shouldn't keep turning to the same few families for leadership. A woman president is a couple of centuries overdue. But issues matter more than affirmative action. I couldn't overlook Clinton's votes to go to war and to waste hundreds of billions of dollars on the never-ending horror show of Iraq. Thousands of people are dead because of her. Hillary Clinton didn't think Iraq had WMDs. No one smart did. The polls were running for the war, and so was she. She pandered. It was disgusting. But I was even more appalled by her lousy political skills. It ought to have been evident, even then, that (a) the war wouldn't go well, (b) Americans would turn against it, and (c) this would occur before she was up for reelection in 2006. It was obvious to even me at the time, and it took me ten years to get a bachelor's degree. She was wrong. She had bad judgment. And her September 2007 vote for possible war against Iran proves she still does. I moved the lever left. The "X" disappeared from Clinton's box. I made an "X" pop up next to Obama's name. "I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of..." I wasn't feeling it.

editorial
PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST

LIBERAL DEMOCRATS LEFT OUT IN THE COLD

For what will soon have been eight long years, I reflected, left-of-center Americans have endured an illegitimate administration of morons, thieves and bullies. "[The press secretary's] job is to help explain my decisions to the American people," Bush once said, describing how he interacts with people who disagree with him. Bush stacked the Supreme Court by appointing right-wing extremists to replace moderates. Compromise was an alien concept to the Bushies. They did whatever they wanted--wars, torture, tax cuts for the superrich, tapping political dissidents' phones-and Democrats did nothing to stop them, even after they regained control of both houses of Congress. After 9/11 Republicans repeatedly screamed that liberals were pro-Islamist, antiAmerican traitors. Right-wing opinion mongers-Ann Coulter, Andrew Sullivan, James Taranto of The Wall Street Journal, William Kristol of The Weekly Standard (and now The New York Times) accused me of treason. (Hey, I'm not the one trying to get rid of the Bill of Rights.) Former GOP presidential candidate Alan Keyes suggested that I be imprisoned or shot. And "mainstream" Republicans indicated their tacit agreement with cricket-chirping silence. Not once did a Republican Congressman demand that their neo-McCarthyite allies apologize for their statements. Not once did a Republican opinion columnist take issue with equating the Democratic Party with antiAmericanism. Not once. Compare that to the Democratic practice of "Sister Souljah-ing" lefties who annoy the conservative hyenas. I can't forget the last eight years. Here's why: they will happen again. Whenever Republicans control the White House and Congress and too many media outlets--as occurred under Eisenhower/McCarthy in the 1950s, Nixon in the 1970s, Reagan in the 1980s--they spew the same disgusting crap about the left. Lord knows Democrats have their flaws, but they don't say that their opponents belong in concentration camps. "I want the Republicans to feel the way I did in 2004," an Iowa Democrat told The New York Times. So do I. I want them to watch everything they care about disassembled. Take Reagan and Bush's names off the airports, nationalize major corporations, demolish Gitmo, gay marriage--anything that pisses them off. I want revenge. Obama preaches reconciliation. "I will create a working majority because I won't demonize my opponents," says Obama. The Illinois senator is an interesting politician and might make a good leader. But not yet. Give me eight years of Democratic rule as ruthless and extreme and uncompromising as the last eight years of Bush. Then we can have some bipartisanship. Obama's let's-tiptoe-through-the-tulips-withthe-GOP shtick amounts to bargaining with yourself. If a vendor at a flea market offers to sell you a lamp for $10 and you're willing to pay $8, you don't offer $8. Demonize, Barack, demonize! Oh, and Obama says he wouldn't have voted for the Iraq War. I say he's lying. So do his votes for funding the war since he joined the Senate. His voting record on Iraq is the same as Hillary's. Hillary, no. Obama? Nobama. What to do? "Hundreds of thousands of Democrats and independents who were motivated enough to go and vote on February 5 did so for Edwards, knowing full well that he was out of the running," reports The Nation. I was one of them. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

NEXT ISSUE 2/27/08 Call 446-3458 for advertising info!

FEBRUARY, 13 2008

11

The first in a two-part Goin Digital series

BY TODD MOREHEAD

One year from now, television as we know it will change forever. For those who havent yet purchased a converter box, are not cable subscribers or dont have a compatible TV, the screen will go dark on Feb. 17, 2009 as the industry switches from broadcasting a traditional analog signal to a digital one. The DTV switch, as it has come to be known, will not only facilitate the continued progression toward high definition systems but will also free up the 700 MHz spectrum for the creation of more standardized public safety communications. In the background, the FCC has plans to auction a chunk of that vacated analog spectrum to large wireless and telecom companies like Verizon and Google. Some analysts predict the sale could fetch up to $15 billion dollars. Meanwhile, many Democrats on Capitol Hill worry that an unprepared and under funded FCC has not adequately educated the general public about the DTV switch. Lost in the fray, so far, have been the implications for public television. Some large cable companies are using the digital transition as a means to remove public television channels from their basic cable packages and are lobbying for legislation that may remove license fee funding for those channels. Late last month, John Dingell (D-Mich.) went before the congressional Commerce Telecommunications Subcommittee in response to cable giant Comcasts actions in his home state. The hearing centered around the public, educational and governmental (PEG) channels in Michigan that were slated to be removed from basic

cable packages, since the company switched to an all digital format. PEG channels consist of public access programming, cover local government and schoolslike the Columbia city council meetings that Time Warner Cable airs locally on channel 2 and the Richland school district information aired on channel 12. In Michigan, Comcast planned to bump the PEG channelsstill broadcasting in analog until next yearup near the 900 channel range thus making them no longer accessible to the general public and only available to subscribers of the more expensive digital cable service tier, an action that would have effected an estimated 1.3 million viewers. Comcast, an company, AT&T pitched it as a technical upgrade but when the same thing happened to a PEG channel in Tucson, Ariz., a cable rep showed his hand, so to speak, while explaining their move to a local CBS affiliate, saying, Analog channels consume capacity where I can put eight [digital] channels in the same place. And where PEG channels generally reside, in the lower 20 channels, is considered prime broadcasting real estate. A federal judge eventually blocked Comcasts plan. The company issued an apology during the congressional hearings and plans to make arrangements to keep PEG channels available to the general public in Michigan. Comcast was able to act so brazenly in Michigan because they and other large telecom companies have long been lobby-

Some large cable companies are using the digital transition as a means to remove public television channels from their basic cable packages and are lobbying for legislation that may remove license fee funding for those channels.

ing to change the language in federal, state and local cable franchise legislation. In Michigan, all of AT&Ts network is digital. Recently reworded legislation there and in many other states has since eliminated safeguards for PEG channels thus leaving them susceptible to being booted up into the high channel netherworld. On June 8, 2006 the House passed the COPE Act, which later stalled out in the Senate and was eventually scrapped. Introduced by Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) AT&T corporate headquarters are based in Texasthe bill would have allowed telecom companies that wanted to provide video content to bypass the current local franchise process by establishing a uniform national franchising process. Before COPE, telecom companies would have to strike deals with hundreds of local municipalities, each with their own regulations and many levying a one to five percent franchise fee that went to the funding of public TV programming. COPE would have done away with all that and set a national standard for cable franchising with no proviso for PEG channel feeswhich can sometimes provide over $1 million annually. The absence of that funding could bring many smaller public access TV services to a grinding halt. Though it eventually tanked on the federal level, big telecom simply reintroduced versions of the bill on the state level. Like Michigan, a version of the bill passed in South Carolina in 2006. The South Carolina Competitive Cable Services Act

(S.C. 1053, H. 4428) passed the House unanimously on Feb. 15, 2006, the Senate approved and ratified it on May 18 of that year and it was signed by Gov. Sanford five days later. The bill introduced a statewide franchising system and, according to some analysts, offers no PEG financial support. City Paper could find no language in the bill that specifically omitted payouts to PEG channels and the bill does appear to require that cable companies provide at least 3 PEG channels as a public service. However, the bill does state that any PEG channel ...that is not utilized by the municipality or county for at least eight hours a day may no longer be made available to the municipality or county but may be programmed at the cable service provider's discretion. Nancy Horne, president of the S.C. Cable TV Association, says PEG channels in South Carolina should continue to be available to all cable subscribers, both basic and high end. Our state law requires that PEG channels be carried on the lowest tier [or subscriber package] available to the consumer, she says. So, you might get a PEG channel with a high number, but it would still be carried through the basic tier. According to Horne, under the state law there is no requirement for PEG support. Before the law was passed, individual PEG channels may or may not have made agreements with the cable company and the local or municipal franchising authorities. If those deals included support for PEG channels prior to the 2006 bill, those contracts should be honored until they expire, according to the new legislation. Next installment: Spectrum for Sale talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

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FEBRUARY 13, 2008

su|do|ku

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FEBRUARY 13, 2008

Thursday, February 14 Art Bar Lorrie Rivers Jazz Valentines Night Headliners Love Stinks Valentines Ball A Tribute to Elton John, Johnny Cash, & the 80's New Brookland Tavern 8:00pm Foxes That Fight (CD Release) Zelazowa The Bourbon Brothers Utopia Cathedrals of the soul Friday, February 15 Headliners King Hippo w/ Dr. Harry Woo Five Points Pub Angie Aparo w Jim Bianco New Brookland Tavern 9:00pm M.O.D. Diavolo Enable Kain Macs on Main Fatback & the Groove Band

Utopia Dalton Highway Saturday, February 16 Art Bar American Gun CD Release with Due East and American Aquarium CJs Five Points Jason Dalton Headliners Abbey Road LIVE! Five Points Pub Scott Baston & the News Architects featuring Harros Gardner Macs on Main Macs Allstars New Brookland Tavern 5:30pm Pterodactyl 1991 Kill Anties My First Affair 9:00pm Zach Fowler and The Essentials KDNR Alien Carnival W/ Acoustic Sets By: Stephanie Lawson Rob Lindsey Kenley Young

Sunday, February 17 New Brookland Tavern 7:00pm Smoke Or Fire Fake Problems Jacob And I Monday, February 18 New Brookland Tavern 6:00pm Poison The Well The Chariot Dance Gavin Dance Crime In Stereo Tuesday, February 19 New Brookland Tavern 7:30 Pinna Teddy Bear Wolfman Brigade Moby Dick Wednesday, February 20 New Brookland Tavern 7:00pm...For Science! Anthems For Odyssey The Ghost Of FDR The Goliards The Choir Quit Five Points Pub The Mumbles Utopia Jules Verne

Thursday, February 21 Five Points Pub Charlie Mack Fashion Show w Liquid Jungle Headliners Machine Funk (Widespread Panic Tribute) w/ TBA Macs on Main Blues Jam New Brookland Tavern 8:00pm Cats And Cobras Mondo Topless Norwegian Blue Tba Utopia Dwayne Ellen & Friends Friday, February 22 Art Bar Columbia Alternacirque Fire in Motion with Susan Osbaldistorn CJs Five Points Chuck N Purdy Headliners Analog Moon w/ SeepeopleS

Hunter Gatherer Temple of Bon Matin Macs on Main Natural Desire Band New Brookland Tavern 5:00pm Diemona Your Chance To Die We Sail At Dawn Valley Of Slaughter 9:00pm The Starseed Project The Free-Shotzz Dalton Highway John Jett Five Points Pub Tootie & The Jones Sandras Corner Pocket D. B. Bryant Utopia Drive South Saturday, February 23 Art Bar Latin Caribbean Night with J'Ouvert Steel Drum Band CJs Five Points Joey Williams

Five Points Pub Kenny Floyd Band Macs on Main Daddy Blue Band New Brookland Tavern Something About Vampires And Sluts Yukos The Crude Sons Of Young Matrimony's Facade Sunday February 24 Five Points Pub Lee Brice Monday, February 25 New Brookland Tavern 7pm Look Mexico Bear Colony Tuesday, February 26 Headliners Dawn Landes Jason Isbell Will Hoge

ROADTRIP
Charleston, South Carolina SUNDAY, FEB 17 Historic Charleston Music Hall Dan Tyminski FRIDAY, MARCH 7 Music Farm Matt Costa Myrtle Beach, South Carolina FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15 The Sound Garden Something About Vampires, The Spores SATURDAY, FEB 23 Broadway At The Beach Cowboy Mouth Greenville, South Carolina SATURDAY, MARCH 1 Bi-Lo Center Kid Rock w/ Reverend Run Spartanburg, South Carolina WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19 Ground Zero Napalm Death Charlotte, North Carolina SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 Neighborhood Theatre Paul Thorn SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 Neighborhood Theatre Dark Star Orchestra Asheville, North Carolina THURSDAY FEB 14 Diana Wortham Theatre Arlo Guthrie FRIDAY FEB 15 Orange Peel Edwin McCain WEDNESDAY FEB 20 Grey Eagle Amy Lavere , The Bittersweets FRIDAY FEB 22 Orange Peel Henry Rollins

Raleigh, North Carolina THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 Lincoln Theater Henry Rollins FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 22 RBC Center Kid Rock SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 24 Meymandi Concert Hall Neil Sedaka MONDAY, FEBRUARY 25 The Pour House Music Hall Jule Brown Atlanta, Georgia SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 Atlanta Civic Center Theater Bobby Blue Bland SATURDAY, MARCH 1 Georgia State University Angelique Kidjo TUESDAY, MARCH 18 Variety Playhouse Bob Mould
JFEBRUARY 13, 2008

Carborro, North Carolina FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29 Cats Cradle Junior Brown

15

MILITARY VICTORY, POLITICAL DEFEAT

INTRO
Peace and blessings to all of you out there reading this. Great to see all of yall out there getting to your respective grinds early in the year before that summer traffic jam falls upon us. Much love to my NEW YORK GIANTS (fan since the Phil Sims/Lawrence Taylor Era) for bringing home that trophy from the home of the Cardinals. I definitely wanna say it feels good to know that artists are gearing up for their respective upcoming releases. Be sure to holla at me 803.546.2319 if you wanna do a listening party or something. Lets get to it! Outta Compton, The Bridge is the greatest ode to an emcees home turf.) Marley Marl- In Control (Contained the Symphony, entirely produced, and directed by Marley.) Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo- Road to the Riches (Name another rapper with as distinct a flow or voice before him. Created classics even with a lisp.) I really wish I could give you more detail, but I was taught at a young age that experience is the best teacher. Go grab a best of, Google them, or get at me for a custom mix ( HYPERLINK "mailto:kingpin@nonstophiphoplive.com" kingpin@nonstophiphoplive.com) and educate yourself on this culture.

CURRENT LISTENS
Shadz of Lingo- View to a Kill. This trio out of VA dropped their debut back in 1993. This album got production from Erick Sermon, Diamond D and a whole host of heavy hitters. It felt great to pull this one out of the crates. Be sure to Google or YouTube this group and check out some joints. Refreshing! BigKoon/Hollywood/DJ Chuck T- Mob Ties This crew out of Florida definitely got some potential. Good to see them aligned with one of South Caks most respected DJs. Be sure to check out their new single- Im Leaning, at myspace.com/bigkoonandhollywood. Shouts to C.Wakeley and the entire 2 Dogs Records family. KinFolk- I Dont Go to Work (f/ Snoop Dogg). Be sure to check themwww.voicezmusicgroup.com Rashaan Patterson- Wine and Spirits (Artistry Music). Be sure to check columbiacitypaper.com for my previous review of this record. Smooth flowing! DJ ETC. - The Dynasty Volume 1. Its great to welcome back to South Cak, one of the Dopest DJs ever to touch a pair of turntables (I know you cant believe real deejays actually use turntables, not a computer). Be sure to check out his new mixtape (stated above) if you can get your hands on one. Make sure you check for his many events. Hit him up at myspace.com/djetc1. Oh, last but not least, DJ ETC. is the newest member of my squad THE OFFICIAL BLOCK BANGAZ (Google Us!)

EVENTS
Be sure to check these events, companies, and artists out ASAP Chrisette Michele----Performing Live at Club Pure (Old Comedy House) on February 20th 2008. I will definitely be in attendance. You should be too! Shawty Get LooseApple Bottoms Jeans Bash (Wed Feb. 13th at Club Rockaways) Deleveled---with Grey Market (Wed. Feb 13th at the New Brookland Tavern) Magoos Tattoo Shop----1321 Garners Lane Suite # A Columbia, SC 29210 Metro City Magazine---www.metrocitymagazine.com HOOD LEGENDS (Dedicated to the TRILL True + Real=Trill, brothas and Sistahs out here). Masterminded by man Met Money, Hood Legends is a combination of Music, Live Performances, Awards, and much more. Hit him up myspace.com/metmoney

WORDS OF WISDOM
Great people become great not because their name is on a product, building, or even on the TV screen. People become great when those around them help them grasp the opportunities in front of them and block the ones that will harm. No man, woman, boy, or girl is an island. Pay attention to those around you. Someone is watching. Check my new podcast when you get a chancehttp://villainofvinyl/mypodcast.com. Stay up!!!! kingpin@nonstophiphoplive.com

REVIEW
Today Im going to give you a flashback the five essential albums by the Juice Crew that need to be in your collection if youre planning to pursue your dreams as an artist (Emcee, DJ, Producer, Writer, whatever). Founded by the legendary producer Marley Marl in 86, the Juice Crew consisted of MC Shan, Roxanne Shante, Biz Markie, Masta Ace, Craig G, Kool G. Rap, DJ POLO, and Big Daddy Kane. From changing the way hip hop songs were made (musically and lyrically) to crafting arguably the greatest posse cut ever, The Symphony (Cold Chillin 88), very few can hold up anything to outshine their importance. In no particular order the five essential Juice Crew Albums are Biz Markie- Going Off (Hip hops First Clown Prince) Big Daddy Kane- Long Live the Kane (The architect of both Jay-Z and Biggies flow, style, and charisma.) MC Shan- Down By Law (Next to Straight

BY JUDIT TRUNKOS Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on the day of the TET Offensive, says Jim Knight, chief curator of the TET: Military Victory, Political Defeat exhibit, which opened at the State Museum on January 31. Knight, a Vietnam War veteran, was in Vietnam at the time of the attack. The TET Offensive was launched between Jan. 30 and Feb. 28, 1968, by the combined forces of the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam (Viet Cong) and the Peoples Army of Vietnam (PAVN). The attack was named after the Vietnamese Lunar New Year holiday and was meant to start a general uprising in an attempt to end the war in a single blow. The military mission targeted over 100 cities and villages including the American Embassy in Saigon. Knight organized the show to educate people on war and to honor both the museums collection and those who contributed from their private collections. Since January 31 was the 40th anniversary of the offensive and the State Museum had many items in its collection from the war, it seemed like a good idea to utilize all that with the additional pieces from private collectors, he says. The exhibit is weapon heavy says Knight and

is designed to guide the visitor through the offensive by exhibiting weapons, uniforms and pictures of the military attacks. As you enter the show, you will see many photos of Vietnam, which is, by the way, the most beautiful place I have ever been. At the entrance you will find information about Vietnam, historical background for the region and a short summary of how exactly the U.S. got into Vietnam. Also we demonstrate important elements of the war, such as the usage of helicopters and airplanes carrying bombs. The shows ultimate goal is to provide additional information about the war and to supplement schools curricula on the issue. Visitors get to see real uniforms and real weapons which were used in the war, which experience can not be obtained from textbooks and movies, Knight says. Not to mention the audio and video footage from Vietnam, the first war that was, as Knight puts it, broadcast live every day. Listening to the TV news footage and music from 1968 and reading the old newspapers, students will be transported back to the time when television became the primary source of information on the war, he says. TET: Military Victory, Political Defeat will be on display until January 25, 2009. To learn more about the exhibit go to http://www.museum.state.sc.us.

GET YOUR WAR ON

BY DAVID REES

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FEBRUARY 13, 2008

Movie Review

BY FRED RICHARDSON Hooray for the Flu! Enjoy the short reviews of flicks that got me through it... WILD WEST COMEDY SHOW: 30 DAYS & 30 NIGHTS - HOLLYWOOD TO THE HEARTLAND Vince Vaughn decided to do a 30-day regional tour of the U.S. featuring four upand-coming comics, film the whole thing and make a movie out of it. Not a bad idea, but it just never really clicks. I suspect we'd get a better film if it was either a concert film or documentary, but instead we get mash-up of both with neither really satisfying. It's not bad, it's just not terribly good. About half-way through, the laughs pick up a bit and near the end there's enough funny to make one want to see more from the featured comics. I say catch the thing on video and hope for extra performance footage. 60/100 NEW TV TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES Having seen the first four episodes of Fox's hour long ongoing continuation of the Terminator series, I have to admit that it's not half a bad as I'd feared. In fact, it's fairly good. It doesn't come anywhere near the first two films, but so far it's at least as good as part 3. Lena Headey (300) does a passable Linda Hamilton and just might make the title character her own if given the chance. Thomas Dekker seems closer to T3's Nick Stahl than T2's Edward Furlong in his portrayal of John Connor. Then there's Summer Glau (Firefly) as terminatrix, Cameron Phillips, my call for a probable standout as the series progresses. Set after the events in the second film, the show takes place in an alternate timeline wherein the third film hasn't happened, and according to Executive Producer Josh Friedman, it won't. This opens up lots of possibilities for the show to go places we don't expect and already there have been hints of some fairly interesting twists in the future. Here's hoping a planned fourth movie (with Batman's Christian Bale as John C.) can proceed and exist on it's own without causing problems for the show.

The show isn't perfect, but it's better than average mainstream fare. 70/100 for now, but the future numbers are not set. VIDEO GAMES CONAN (X-BOX 360) Success breeds imitation in just about every medium, but seldom does the copy come anywhere near the original. Conan is obviously heavily influenced by the great PS2 game God of War. But of course one can make the case that GofW was influenced by the various incarnations of Conan, most notably the Frank Frazetta artwork of the 60s. But the fantasy setting and adult tone of the games aren't the only ways the games mirror one another. The gameplay mechanic is almost identical, with weapon power-ups and learned magic allowing Conan to face progressively tougher opponents from level to level. There are puzzles, but not terribly hard ones. There are bosses, but with a little work you'll beat them. Ultimately this is a decent, if not original, game. I recommend it if you're a fan of the character or really love the genre, but grab it used or wait for the price to hit the $20-30 range. 58/100 DVD RELEASES
OF REVIEWED FILMS

February 18th: Michael Clayton One of my top movies of 2007. 92/100 American Gangster A decent enough effort but I expected better from those involved. 77/100 February 25th Beowulf Not sure about the 3-D version being included on the disc or not. So on the movie only- 75/100 30 Days of Night Sometimes vampire sucking isn't a good thing. 60/100 talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
FEBRUARY 13, 2008

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JONESIN CROSSWORDS
"Did I Stutter?"- sure sounded like it
come home 52 Anesthetized 54 The cheapest version of fitness guru Jack? 59 Full of spirit 60 Martial artist who practices on straw matting? 64 Chopin exercise 65 Dr. Frankenstein's go-to guy 66 Make into an ornament, perhaps 67 ___ tot 68 Sports award 69 Bulk Down 1 Sound of relaxation 2 Big fuzzy 'do 3 Unagi roll ingredient 4 Brady in a Dave Chappelle skit 5 He played Obi-Wan 6 Turn toward 7 Greek group 8 100% accurate, like an impersonation 9 "Vanilla Sky" director Cameron 10 Brand of blocks 11 Blind singer Bocelli 12 Start of a tryst request 13 Mister, in Rio 18 Koko's pet All Ball, e.g. 21 Drew in 22 "Hey, wait a ___!" 23 "The Simpsons" character who works extremely long hours 24 "I don't believe it!" noise 28 One who aspires Across 1 Several 5 ___ off (gets lost) 9 Smackeroos 14 Length times width 15 Move to a higher level, like in Super Mario Bros. 16 "Morning Edition" co-host Montagne 17 Sacred beans used to make chocolate? 19 Utah city 20 The value of actress Fabray? 22 Bob who gets away with saying "just for shiggles" on "1 vs. 100" 25 U2 single released after "Mysterious Ways" 26 Jimmy Eat World's genre 27 Office of Air and Radiation parent org. 28 "As If I ___ Slept" (Idlewild song) 31 Max of "The Beverly Hillbillies" 32 Soft and puffy 35 "The Last King of Scotland" name 37 Command to opium plants that they leave the Flower Kingdom? 40 Sallie ___ (student loan company) 41 Went past the target 44 Show gloominess 47 Punished monetarily 49 "Psych" network 50 Thurman of "The Accidental Husband" 51 You get one when you 29 "___ Day Now" (Joan Baez album) 30 Physicist Freeman ___ 31 eBay attempts 33 Away's opposite 34 Bitter beer variety, for short 36 "___ Rosenkavalier" (Strauss opera) 38 "Gangsta Lovin'" rapper 39 Israeli prime minister Olmert 42 Suffix for sugars 43 Toni Morrison's "___ Baby" 44 Oscar category? 45 Mario Puzo book named for a code of silence 46 Eventually succeed 48 Neck and neck 51 Word on yellow trucks 52 Albuquerque college: abbr. 53 It comes straight from the horse's mouth 55 Kind of scene 56 Fades to the back of the pack 57 On 58 Survived with ___ a scratch 61 Display dishonesty 62 Keebler worker 63 NYC clock setting 2008 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.c om) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0348.

SavageLove
SEX ADVICE COLUMN
BY DAN SAVAGE
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months and were crazy about each other. Hes been slowly introducing me to butt play. Last night, we were verbally playing out an anal scenario. He asked if Id be okay using a strap-on with him, to which I replied, Of course! Then he said that he had a harness and dildo in the closet. I balked. This brought up two specific issues for me. (1) What is good sex-toy etiquette? Can you use sex toys in one relationship and then in the next one? Also, when Ive been with women, it was NOT okay to reuse sex toys. They died with the relationship. Is it different with heteros? (2) Can you recycle sex toys with your recycling like you would other plastic products? He said hed be happy to buy new sex toys if it bothers me so much. But were both ecofriendly and dont want to cause a lot of waste. Willing To Bend Over Boyfriend Lesbian sex-toy etiquette is pretty clear, says Claire Cavanah. Dildos and harnesses dont survive the breakup. Cavanah is the cofounder of Babeland (www.babeland.com), a woman-owned, totally righteous, continent-spanning sex-toy colossus, and a lesbian herself, and I typically defer to her on matters of lesbian sex-toy etiquette. But when asked why sex toys have to be discarded after a lesbian breakup, Claire could only offer this dykeass mumbo jumbo: A lesbian couples dildos become suffused with the energy of the sex in the relationship, and end up symbolizing the sexual connection the poor doomed couple had. They belong to the relationship. Like I said, Im going to defer to Claire. But its interesting that lesbian dildos become fatally suffused with the energy of failed lesbian relationships, and therefore must be discarded, but lesbian hairstyles do not. Moving on In the straight world, Claire continues, theres a whole lot less attachment to specific toys, so reusing a dildo and harness is probably more common and acceptable. So should you suck it up and use your boyfriends dirty ol sex toys? Of course notsays the owner of a sex-toy shop. WTBOB, trained in the lesbian tradition, needs to speak up and get new toys, says Claire. You love this guy, and you want to give him every inch of YOUR love, not the love someone else banged his ass with, so go get a new rig. How best to dispose of the old rig? Treehugger.com says that silicone and latex are recyclable, says Claire, but that doesnt mean you can toss your old dildos into your plastics bin and expect them to live again in the form of a park bench. Youd have to summon all your courage and take them to a special facility. Most people wont do that, says Claire, so most toys end up as landfill. If you cant bring yourself to hand over those old dildos at a special silicone-and-latex recycling facility, WTBOB, and the thought of your boyfriends used sex toys clogging your local landfill upsets you, perhaps you should mail them to Kandiss Crone at WLBT 3 News in Jackson, Mississippi. Crone is a teeveenewz reporter in a state where its agin the law to sell sex toys. Twice last year the Jackson Police Department busted a local sex shop, Adult Video and Books, for the crime of selling three-dimensional devices. But those busts didnt put a stop to Jacksons threedimensional-device crime wave, it seems, because recently Ms. Crone got a hot tip: Adult Video and Books was back in the three-dimensional-device business! To protect the citizens of Jackson from the imminent threat of three-dimensional devices (we wouldnt want the smoking gun to take the form of a mushroom-headed dildo), Crone went undercover for a very special 3 on Your Side investigative report. Crone slipped into Adult Video and Booksin disguise, lest she be recognizedand purchased a purple vibrator. Then Crone went back in with a camera crew and confronted the stores owner. And since no teeveenewz report about crime is complete without a statement from the authorities, Crone asked the Jackson Police Department for a comment. The adult store is not a priority for our vice and narcotics officers, the Jackson Police Department said in a statement. Citizens would rather see us using our resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to decrease violent crime. (No word from the JPD on why it used to be a priority.) Police negligence! The books are full of deeply silly, sex-phobic laws that are rarely enforced, of course, because cops have better things to do than bust people for the crime of selling vibrators to teeveenewz reporters. But when an enterprising teeveenewz reporter goes to all the trouble of conducting an undercover operation to get a dangerous purple vibrator off the streets, why, the least the police can do is arrest the culprits! And provide that enterprising teeveenewz reporter with some B-roll footage of the cops hauling the stores owner away in handcuffs! Now cynical readers might assume that Ms. Crone, like so many other teeveenewz reporters, was using sex to attract viewers and then exonerating herself and her viewers for their salaciousness by persecuting the owner of the sex-toy shop. And some cynical readers might argue that Ms. Crone is only pretending to be scandalized because shes a sophisticated, professional, modern woman, and like many sophisticated, professional, modern women, Ms. Crone is likely to have owned and operated a sex toy or two. And if Ms. Crone hasnt, then certainly other folks at WLBT management, anchors, other reporters, editors, cameramen, sound techshave used threedimensional devices. Theyre all grown-ups, right? Some will want to believe all that about Ms. Crone and WLBT because that would prove that Ms. Crone and everyone else at WLBT are hypocrites for going on the teevee and playing to the prejudices of small-minded, sex-negative assholes while at the same time making folks who do use sex toysor sell them, or work in places that dofeel ashamed of themselves. But I dont like to think ill of people. Im certain Ms. Crone and the whole gang at WLBT in Jackson, Mississippi, sincerely believe that sex toys are a threat to the health, safety, and morals of the general public. As thats the case, Im certain Ms. Crone would only be too delighted to receive your boyfriends old sex toys in the mail, WTBOB, and used sex toys belonging to other Savage Love readers. Ms. Crone would, no doubt, take great satisfaction in personally disposing of all the dangerous three-dimensional devices she could get her hands on. So ship those old sex toys to: Kandiss Crone, c/o WLBT 3 News, 715 South Jefferson Street, Jackson, Mississippi, 39201. Dont have a sex toy to dispose of? E-mail Kandiss at kandiss@wlbt.net and let her know what a great job shes doing for the community. Wheres the web extra you promised in your January 10 column? Im dying to find out more about tranny scrotums, female pastors, selective semen allergies, clit Tabasco, lesbian tongue size, and gay boobs! WTF Oh, its coming. And so is that web extra I promised of definitions of virginity. And so are those Huckabee definitions. The problem is there are so many of you, dear readers, and so few of me. And the response is utterly overwhelming when I invite you to weigh in on something. But I promise to slog through the 5,000+ e-mails I got about tranny sacks, lady priests, and gay boobs by next week. Dan Savages podcast is now linked at columbiacitypaper.com mail@savagelove.net FEBRUARY 13, 2008

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PHOTO BY POO RAYFORD

Jeremy Letton (known as ASS) celebrates after his approach shot on the 17th at Ridgewood earning him "great shot points" and setting up a new course record on the Golden Tee machine at the Flying Saucer in Columbia's Vista. The Golden Tee golf video game has replaced billiards and darts as the primary entertainment at watering holes across the country. Columbia Golden Tee fans are organizing a Spring tournament and information can be found at www.myspace.com/goldenteetournament

ASS SHOOTS NEW GOLDEN TEE RECORD

Columbia man beats LBS, WAC and EXP after 18-under performance at Ridgewood in Flying Saucer
STORY BY POO RAYFORD Friday evening, a button finger snafu resulted in him accidentally entering AT. He was crushed. Now I have to get great shot points to change my f*cking name, says ASS, who holds 23 of 26 course records at the beer emporium. Todays round of 18 at Ridgewood matched up ASS, LBS (known as the Pounder for his long drive ability), EXP (the Exploder whose game falls apart on the back nine) and WAC (Will Cauthen a.k.a. the Whacker who garners his moniker from, well his initials). The Whacker found himself washing dishes for an entire day at the Garden Bistro restaurant, after losing a bet on a game against ASS, who runs the Vista eatery. Im done playing for money after I had to work at his restaurant all day. Nine oclock in the morn-

If youve ever seen anyone play Golden Tee Golf you know two things: 1) Everyone will cuss and swear with furious emotion. 2) Someone will eventually smash their hand through the glass after striking the white oversized roller ball device. Just ask New Brookland Tavern owner Danny Lyons about his hands collision with the glass last week. But for Golden Tee fanatics, catastrophic conditions wont end the great voyage through the virtual 18. Someone kept hitting pause while we vacuumed up the glass, explained Lyons. One of Columbias legendary golfers Jeremy Letton plays Golden Tee under the initials ASS, and after sinking his first putt at Ridgewood on

ing I showed up, explained Cauthen. But winning bets in this game is much less important than pride and getting your three-letter name up on the record board. Which brings us to the 17th hole of Fridays round, where ASS has been playing as AT all evening. He sinks his approach to the green and is awarded great shot points which allows him to re-enter his initials. A birdie on the 18th garners him a new course record. The ASS Pounder Whacker Exploder game crowns ASS as the champion. Next time you find yourself beer in hand, and cigarette in mouth, swearing at the beloved video game, remember, All you have to do on this hole is put it in the red shit to the left and it rolls down, according to Matt Warren a.k.a. the Exploder.