Hammond Auto-Writing-Ethnography: Estahlishing (I)dentity in Social Science Writing Introduction My classes full of social science majors, psychologists, sociologists,

and the like, are always surprised that they can acknowledge their own existence in writing. In the middle of an Advanced Writing in the Social Sciences class last semester, Jill asked a question that I have heard many times before. She raised her hand, a quizzical look on her face, and asked, "So, are you saying we can use the words "I" and "me" in our writing?" I am always amazed that the science depm1ments, especially the social sciences, are still telling their students not to use the first person in writing. Jill later confessed that her chemistry and biology teachers told her to write in passive voice as much as possible and never use first person pronouns, as if by eliminating these words the researcher suddenly vanishes and the project becomes magically o~jective. I ask myself how this affects a student's identity. She learns from her instructors that she should disappear in her writing. Because of this denial of self: I am always looking for ways to help my students include themselves in their writing and learn about themselves as writers. Recently I have become interested in a somewhat controversial qualitalive research method in sociology and anthropology-the autoethnography. This writing allows the researcher to explore and include subjectivity in the writing and research processes. Thus, the researcher acknowledges her pm1icipation, and, in some projects, the researcher actually becomes the primary participant. Postmodern forces advance this type of writing in the academy, doubting the self and the social as separate and independent, but traditional forces are sometimes reluctant to accept this as legitimate research. Hammond 2 As a writing instructor, I am drawn to this intriguing research method, and I see connections between autoethnographies and personal narratives. As a research method, the fanner sounds a bit more scientific and rigorous, but the genre is actually quite flexible, and what student paper couldn't use a little more rigor. For my social science students, it sounds ideal for an assignment that helps them practice including themselves in their writing. In my own classes, I have tried a blend of the autoethnography and literacy narrative. By using a hybrid of the two as an end of semester reflective learning essay, my social science students discover their identities within the context of the social construction of classroom experiences, knowledge, and writing. Autocthnographics Autoethnographies arose in the scientific climate of self deprecation. As Kristine Hansen states, "Until recently, one of the most recognizable features of the social scientific style was the detached persona .. " for at least a century, the hallmark of good scientific writing \:vas to project this authoritative ethos without revealing much about oneself" (309). Denying the self by eliminating the researcher from the writing creates the illusion of complete objectivity. However, the illusion comes at the expense of the selfin the writing in addition to creating muddled prose. Sarah Wall suggests that this style "require(s] researchers to minimize their selves, viewing self as a contaminant and attempting to transcend and deny it. The researcher ostensibly puts bias and subjectivity aside in the scientific research process by denying his or her identity" (2). The self of the researcher is crushed in the writing and viewed as a pollutant in the scientific method.

Scholars in the late 1970's and 80's, under the influence of postmodern ideas, began to question this paradigm. In sociology and anthropology, Norman Denzin, Alice Hammond 3 Deck, and Philippe Lejeune started using the term autoethnography to describe a type of qualitative research that allowed the researcher's subjective experience back into the writing. Wall attributes this to a postmodem questioning of the traditional approach to research and writing. She says that postmodernism encourages a type of questioning where scientific conventions are open to general criticism, but not tossed out immediately as incorrect. Postmodernism aims not to destroy the conventional methods but to undermine or critique their supremacy. According to Wall, postmodernism also suggests that human beings can creatc and disseminate knowledge through various means, nonc of which are true or whole alone. Forms of criticism were born and flourished in acadcmia, and thesc new theories generated the possibility of new and beneficial research methods (2). In my mind, this is a positive move, allowing for the validation of the identity of the researcher-scholars, students, and wTiters. With the postmodern questioning also came a more accurate reflection of how writing and knowledge arc constructed. Social scientists could now acknowledge the role of the individual researcher in a social context. Dershimer points to social constructivism as 8n important influence on the scientific community as it "is a perspective that can be useful in addressing concepts of the self and other. It is an approach that assumes that understanding the world can be subjective: reality does not simply exist, it is constructed (Dcrshimer 1991)" (qtd. in Foster, McAlilister, and O'Brien 44). Not only is knowledge subjectively constructed, but it is constructed within a social context. This enlightened view created a space for autoethnographies to rcflect both the individual and social aspects of the construction of knowledge. Hammond 4 Defining autoethnography is a little slippery because scholars intend for it to have a blurred boundary. Literally, the term combines auto, self; ethno, social; and graphy, writing. In practice, however, the writing can range from a personal narrative to a multigenre research report. Carolyn Ellis, one of the strongest advocates for autoetlmographic research, went so far as to merge memoir, fiction, and research report in her 2004 book The EthnograpMc I: A Method%g;cal Novel about Au/oethnography. Old school sociologists, I am sure, cringed at the title alone \vith its paradoxess"ethnography" paired with "I" and "methodological" paired with "novel." In her book, she describes her research and writing methods: "I start with my personal life and pay attention to my physical feelings, thoughts and emotions. I use what I call 'systematic sociological introspection' and emotional recall' to try to understand an experience I've lived through? Then I write my experience as a story" (xvii). She combines both emotion and empiric research to relate her story. Similarly, Sparkes says that autoethnographies "are highly personalized accounts that draw upon the experience of the author/researcher for the purposes of extending sociological understanding" (gtd. in Wall 2). Another definition by Richardson emphasizes "relating the personal to the cultural" (11), and a wTiter uses the skills of novelists to create a plot, requesting that the reader join with the writer in reliving the experiences (11). These three definitions share some common threads. Each draws a connection between coming to know oneself and one's culturc. Each rcfers to a system or methodology in order to gain this knowledge, and each mentions the use of narrative to tell the researcher's story and connect with the reader. These

strategies fulfill an important need in my social science classes, and autocthnographies provide a unique assessment tool in a course that is driven by science Hammond 5 genre writing. Autoethnographies carry scientific weight, at least in some circles, and the emphasis on methodology gives substance and rigor to what otherwise might be a freshman reflective essay. Literacy Narratives While there arc many useful directions advanced composition instructors might take this type of research, I have found a useful cOlmection between autoethnographies and literacy narratives. Literacy narratives were especially hot in the 90's when Janet Carey Elred, Peter Mortensen, Mary Soliday and other scholars championed their use in both reading and writing assignments in English classrooms. J. Scott Blake provides a useful definition of the literacy narrative, one that fits nicely within the scope of autoethnography: I define literacy as social meaning-making through language. This simple but flexible definition assumes that literacy is context dependent as well as socially constructed and enacted2. The literacy narrative, in turn, is a history or account of a person's development or accumulation ofliteracy. Students' literacy narratives can describe meaningful language experiences with their peers, at home, and at various community sites. (n.p.) Notice the overlap of Scott's definition and autoethnographies: narratives about individual and social meaning making through language. Cynthia Ryan delineates some of the pedagogical advantages of using literacy narratives in the classroom. She suggests that they provide a chance for students to contemplate the depth oflearning required to read and write effectively, and literacy narratives can describe many of the fears and assurances that come with writing assignments. She also sees value in having students Hammond 6 practice the power to significantly contemplate their life events, thoughts, and writing procedures. finally, Ryan suggests a third outcome that students acquire: "positioning," or the power to understand one's place within a specific discourse community as both a writer and reader (139A 1). Reflective Learning These outcomes combined convinced me to test pilot an autoethnography, but because of time constraints in the class schedule, I needed something powerful but manageable for my students. Without performing some major course remodeling, I needed a short but effective project. At this same time I was reading L. Dee Fink's book Creating S;gnfficant Learning 6xperiences An Integra/cd Approach to Designing College Courses which gave me an idea for a course capstone. Fink discusses strategies to "Promote In-Depth Reflective Writing on the Learning Process" (116). He stresses that students in college level courses need to reflect on what they have learned and how they have learned it. One strategy he suggests is using a combination of journal entries and an cnd of semester paper or portfolio (116-20). Among the heuristic questions he

asks are: What am I learning? Of what value is this? How did I learn best, most comfortably, with difficulty? What else do I need to learn? (116) This list provides an important start to questions that writing instructors might ask about a course. In order to blend this type of reflective learning with the literacy narrative and autoethnography, I added these questions to the heuristic: Hammond 7 What experiences both in and out of the classroom have taught me the most this semester? How have classmates, instructors, and others helped me to learn? What did the writing process teach me about the way I work with others? What were my fears about writing in the beginning of the semester? What arc my fears about writing now? How can I better use others to help improve my writing in the future? With these questions I was arriving at a reflective learning writing task, using Finks terms, a literacy narrating task, using camp. and rhet. terms, and an autoethnography, using sociology terms. I combined the best of each to create a final writing assignment that synthesized and analyzed the students' learning experiences, solidifying the knowledge acquired in the course and reHecting on individual events within the students' academic culture. Student Samples My students used both sporadic journal entries and paper drafts as documents, source material, and observational data. Before writing the autoethnography, we worked on prewriting using the heuristic above. This assignment differed from many literacy narratives in that the events the students were recalling were specifically related to learning experienced during our semester together. Fink says that "the act of focusing students' attention on the learning process will make them more aware of themselves as learners and will thereby begin the process of developing their ability to create meaning

in their lives" (116). As the assignment evolved to focus on classroom learning events, I pushed the students towards metacognition, thinking about their own learning. IIammond 8 As I read through the finished products at the end of the semester, I saw the students absorbing the skills and knowledge that they had helped each other generate in the class. I also found the process useful in assessing my own teaching experience, and I soon realized something that should have been obvious-I was a participant in their autocthnographie research. Some of the dynamics of the classroom community became visible through their writing and research, and I noticed some consistent thcmes in their writing. Individual Fears The students reneeted on their learning experiences, and the first thing they seemed to remember was the initial anxiety they felt entering the writing classroom. Sarah, for example, remembered that "On that first day of class, my professor handed out a syllabus to everyone listing the goals, papers, and readings that were requircd. My impression was that there would never be any breaks between assignments, no time for relaxation." The sheer amount of work to be accomplished in the semester intimidated her, but she found as she worked hard throughout the semester Lhat she was capable, that she could risc to the occasion. Shawnee's fears were more dramatic and had far deeper roots. She found it impossible to separate our class from the social nature of her language acquisition growmg up. She started her paper: English: the meaning and spelling of words, rules of composition and grammar. These words (spelling, rules, and grammar) have haunted me since I have been able to read. I have always been told thal I am not a great writer and speller. "English is not your strong point," my mOlher I-Iammond 9 would tell me; eventually J took this "constructive criticism" to heart. I decided that I would never get good grades in English because of my lack of abilities. Scholastic achievement was always supported in my home and by those who loved me .... However, when it came to English those same people were satisfied by lower performance and inferior grades, and because 1 did not believe that I could do any better, I never took the time to see that if 1 put in the ... hard work needed I could also succeed in English .... Signing up for advanced wTiting this semester was like strapping myself into the electric chair. ... For the first assignment, I turned in what I "thought" was my best work for my limited talents and English abilities. I subconsciously told myself that the highest grade I could be given on this assignment was a B-, and that is what I received. Again, I was not thrilled, but I was content. Then my professor wrote us an encouraging e-mail about how much we could grow this semester and that he was looking forward to seeing my writing improve. "Improve?" 1 thought to myself: "a B- is my best ... I can't improve my best." Shawnee later discovered that she could improve as she worked hard, used the writing center, joined a writing group, and applied concepts from class. "Writing the research prospectus and small memos with my new knowledge paid off," Shawnee wrote, "I received a B+ on both. To my surprise I had improved."

While she clearly focused on the grade in the course, as many students did, she saw the grade as a mark of her progress in the class. She noticed herself gaining confidence in her ability to improve. Shawnee Hammond 10 and Sarah both were able to reflect on how they overcame their fears and progressed as writers and individuals. Collecrive .')'truggles The auto-writing-ethnographies also reflected the social dimension of the class and writing. This social dimension is essential to autoethnographic research, and most of the papers I received focused on this. Sarah, for example, described her experience of learning to trust and work with others: It was a new experience for me to work with a group in an English class. 1 had grown accustom to being the only person responsible for my grade; therefore, it was hard for me to trust others. While working on the research prospectus, and being, as I know now, a little obsessive with my grade, I stood up and started to present ideas for the prospectus: r was the "boss." This position forced me to recognize the individual talents that each group member possessed, and how to delegate responsibilities accordingly to the group members. Shortly after my dubbing of myself as "boss," Thomas expounded upon my idea and altered the word choice, resulting in a morc interesting phrase for a potential reader. By being in a group, I learned how to express and vocalize my opinions and concerns. I also learned how to constructively use the criticism given to me. I realized this on onc of our group gatherings for the prospcctus, the group voted against nearly half of' my section .... [Through this group experience,] 1 have become more friendly and confident, taken leadership positions, and have become less timid when it comes to interacting with people and voicing my opinion. Hammond 11 Sara discusses the leadership role she filled in the group. but she also describes how being a leader means listening to others. Leadership to her became a position of give and take rather than a position of authority. I also appreciate her discussion of the voice she found through expounding on and clarifying her ideas for her group. Other students found that through trust and working together they were able to succeed. Shawnee explains that the last step in her success: was to encourage my group to achieve the same improvement goals. Working towards a better grade than a 13+ was now thought to be achievable alone, but dragging others along for the same adventure was different. Learning to be the best writer I could be was going to require friendship, trust, and hard work for all of my group membcrs. We gathered often to work on our papers and soon gained respect for each. other. This was the key to lifting each other to our full potential. Shawllce describes a sense of community among her fellow writers to prepare messages for a specific audience. I like the way she sees the group of writers lifting each other up. Other students focused cven more on the classroom community. Danae comments

on students teaching each other: Ten years down the road, I would be enthused to see anyone of my classmates from English 315 .... We would remember the dynamic voices in the ... [class]: Natalie, Devon, Melody, and Bonnie. And yet. we would remember how we all contributed, whether we spoke orten or not. ... Above all, the one factor of tcamwork, which developed unannounced and unexpected to me, was how I learned, how I changed, and how I grew the most in this class .... We did not do these projects alone, and \'\'e taught each other while we completed thcm, Hammond 12 increasing our individual effectiveness. With the help of others, this is how I've grown this semester: in confidence. The competencies these students are discovering seem simple: trusting, working as a team, making friends, teaching each other. But these are life skills that extend beyond the English classroom into their workplaces, communities, and relationships. Conclusion As I required my students to write an autoethnography, I too tried to put my research in this genre and found it a useful tool for self and social reflection as did my students. An important aspect of autoethnographies is a candid analysis ufthe writer's own subjectivity. While writing this, I was riddled with self-doubt, not because of the subjectivity in my research, but because I have felt like I am rehashing old ideas. I think in the end I have decided that while the content is not entirely unique, the context is. 1 approached this assignment with the intent of bringing the self into science writing through a learning activity, and I think the autoethnographies accomplished that. Having completed the research though, I am lefi unsatisfied. I think this project has a lot more possiblities for my social science writers. I have in mind a multigenre research paper that has the students blend researched and reflective writing, including personal artifacts. This could easily take the fonn of a literacy narrative, but it might also be about a social science topic that the students have a personal stake in. The most surprising and powerful lesson I learned through this experience is that I am a character in the students' stories. I set out, in part, to help the students recognize that they are writers within a discourse community, but I found myself becoming more aware of my own role as a participant within the classroom community. This point seems Hammond 13 obvious, but just as my students take the ''I'' out of writing, I sometimes unintentionally take the "}" out of teaching. I have a certain vision of a classroom, and I tend to think about myself as the teacher and the students as others. I sometimes see myself as a label-instructor or authority figure-but in witnessing myself as a character in their stories, I realized that I am part of the class, not a separate "teacher being." They react to and write about me personally in their stories, and hearing them helped me to remember that we are a group of people interacting with and learning from one another.

I-Iammond 14 Works Cited Eldred, Janet Carey. and Peter Mortensen. "Reading Literacy Narratives." College English 54 (1992): 51239. Ellis, Carolyn. The Ethnographic J: A Methodological Novel ahout Auloethnography. Walnut Creek. CA: Altamira Press, 2004. Fink, Dee L. Creating Sign!ficant Learn;'lg F,xpehences: An Integrated Approach to Designing College Courses. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003. Hansen, Kristine. WrUing in the Sodal Sdences: A Rhetorh.: 1vith Readings. Boston: Pearson, 2003. Ryan, Cynthia. "The Editorial Eyell: The Role of Critical Literacy Narratives in the Professional Writing Classroom." Composition Forum 12 (200 I): 137156. Scott, J. Blake. "The Literacy Narrative as Production Pedagogy in the Composition Classroom." TETye 24 (1997): 108-118. Literature Online. 12 Mar. 2007 <http://W\VW.lion.chadwyck.com> . Soliday, Mary. "Translating Sclfand Difference through Literacy Narratives." College English 56 (1994): 511-26. Wall, Sarah. "An Autoethnography on Learning about Autoethnography." International Journal a/Qualitative Methods 5 (2006): 1-12.