Martin Messier

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Copyright 2007-2012 HowToMasterNLP.com
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. You may not modify this document in any way, under any circumstances. DISCLAIMER/LEGAL NOTICES: This ebook is supplied for information purposes only and, as experienced in this subject matter as the contributor is, the material herein does not constitute professional advice. The information presented herein represents the view of the contributors as of the date of publication. Because of the rate with which conditions change, the contributor reserves the right to alter and update his opinion based on the new conditions. This ebook is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and the contributor are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. The reader is advised to consult with an appropriately qualified professional before making any personal or business decision. I do not accept any responsibility for any liabilities resulting from the personal or business decisions made by purchasers of this book. Any perceived slights of specific people or organizations are unintentional.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 2

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Introduction
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. Yogi Berra Welcome to The Number 1 NLP Skill You Must Develop! The purpose of this training guide is to get you in the right spirit to master the amazing field of Neurolinguistic Programming. You see, the real secret to mastering the field is not to read, listen or watch NLP trainings. I can sum up mastery of NLP to a single word: practice. As you persist in your efforts, you will become part of an elite that has learned and mastered the models and skillset known as NLP and will reap the benefits associated with that mastery.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 3

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Unfortunately, only one out of ten people who learn about NLP actually go on to master the field. Instead of spending time practicing the fundamentals, they end up focusing on fancy techniques that in the end dont help them further their lives. In this training guide youll read about the most critical skill you must develop to master NLP. Very few students actually spend the required time on it. Ill also include a series of exercises that you can practice in order to become proficient at that skill in short order. If you find this training guide helpful, feel free to pass it on to someone you know that may also find it beneficial. Martin Messier Martin@HowToMasterNLP.com

Written by Martin Messier

Page 4

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Fast Phobia Cure, Belief Change, Persuasion, Influence

In my experience as a teacher of NLP, I have noticed a pattern. Most new students of Neurolinguistic Programming get incredibly excited about the change techniques that have made NLP famous, like: the fast phobia cure, change history pattern, belief change, new behavior generator, many others.

Some students of salesmanship also get excited about the possibilities to learn how to persuade and influence better.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 5

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

What they forget about is the most crucial skill.

Without this skill, it's virtually impossible to become proficient at any other skill in NLP. With it, you'll magnify the power and impact of everything else you learn tenfold.

And yet, it's the most overlooked skill of all.

Let me share something with you. Often, when my NLP students want to develop a new skillset, they immediately start searching for the "doing" part of the skillset. The words to say, the intonation to use, the posture to adopt... And it's only natural to do so. After all, the "doing" seems to be what produces the results. And it is, to a certain extent. But to give tonus to the "doing", they must start somewhere else. And that's where you need to start as well. This starting point will give you a thorough Written by Martin Messier Page 6

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

understanding of what you need to do and will increase the precision of your actions.

The number 1 skill of NLP

The most important NLP skill is observation. Observation is part of the fundamentals that very few masters emphasize to their students. After all, when paying $3,000.00 to attend a week-long seminar, who has time to spend 5 days learning to observe? And yet, it would be the most valuable investment of your time. In the next few pages, we'll discuss specifically how to develop your sense of observation.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 7

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Definition: TO OBSERVE
observe - [uhb-zurv] verb (used with object) 1. to see, watch, perceive, or notice: He observed the passersby in the street 2. to regard with attention, esp. so as to see or learn something: I want you to observe her reaction to the judge's question. 3. to watch, view, or note for a scientific, official, or other special purpose: to observe an eclipse. verb (used without object) 1. to notice 2. to act as an observer [Origin: 13501400; ME observen < MF observer < L observre to watch, regard, attend to, equiv. to ob- OB- + servre to keep, save, pay heed to]

Written by Martin Messier

Page 8

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Think about it... Learning to observe.

Seems obvious. No kidding. This transformed my life. Because I learned to observe, I began to notice patterns where I was blind sighted before. And you will as well. Both John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of Neurolinguistic Programming, are keen observers. They created the original models of NLP by carefully and diligently stalking and tracking the patterns of behavior of outstanding communicators.

The real question to ask yourself now is: "What can I start to notice that I didn't notice before?"
You dont need a PhD to become an outstanding observer. But you probably need to become an outstanding observer to get a PhD. Written by Martin Messier Page 9

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

I prepared a series of exercises to get you started on the road to becoming an astonishing observer. Dont worry about being perfect. Just focus on doing the exercises and maintaining your practice. Lets get started.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 10

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Exercise 1 Find the seven dolphins

The first thing were going to do is head over to: http://www.planetperplex.com/en/jim_warren.html On that page you will find a painting by Jim Warren called 7 dolphins. Click on that painting and wait for it to load on the page. You have a simple goal: find the seven dolphins hidden in the painting. Take the time you need to do this. You dont have to see all of them in 2 minutes. Not even in 1 hour or even 1 week. Relax and take all the time you need to find each of the seven dolphins. Avoid stressing about getting an exercise right as quickly as possible. If you stress yourself out, itll only take longer. Relax and allow your unconscious to sort out all the patterns. Its that simple. Let it happen. Written by Martin Messier Page 11

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Exercise 2 Ask yourself new questions

Questions direct your focus and being able to ask new questions will enable you to enrich the resolution of your experience. If you live in the city, head downtown where many people usually walk around. Start observing people, at first with a clear head. Eventually, lock onto one person and ask yourself a few questions, such as: what would it feel like to be this person? Where is this person going? Can I think like this person does? Is that person married? What is that person thinking? How fast is the person moving? Next, imagine that youre that persons shoe. How do you feel as the shoe? Are you comfortable with a foot inside you? How fast are you moving? Repeat this process with at least 20 different people. Take all the time you need and allow your mind to free flow or diverge while youre doing the exercise.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 12

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Exercise 3 Model people

This powerful exercise, if you practice it regularly, will do more for your NLP skillset than any other I can think of. To this day, I still practice it because its really the toughest NLP gym I know. Go to a public place such as a shopping mall and sit on a bench for at least 10 minutes. Allow your foveal vision to relax and let your peripheral vision take over your sight. Youll feel your whole body relax as this happens. Then, just let the sound and rhythm of the environment soak you up while you sit and relax. After about 10 minutes, get up and start walking around. Pick a stranger who is walking at least 20 feet in front of you and begin to walk just like that person. Relax your body and allow yourself to adopt that persons gait. Allow your head to position itself like that persons head. Let your arms swing in the same rhythm. Accompany the rhythm of their footsteps. Allow your entire posture to adjust itself until you are practically a mirror image of that person.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 13

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

When you do this right, at one point, youll feel your body lock onto theirs and at that point both your walks will match. Youll certainly feel a warm feeling in your chest and, often, the person you are following will turn around and look if they are being followed. As you become more proficient at this exercise, choose people who walk really differently from you. If youre really tall, imitate short people. If youre a woman, imitate mens walks. Note: Be discrete! Your goal here is not to be a caricature of others, but to get a strong feeling sense of how others conduct themselves in the world. Try not to get caught. Theres a big difference between imitating and stalking, and you want to make sure youre not labeled as doing the latter.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 14

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Exercise 4 Search for a specific word

For this exercise, youll need a book that youve never read before. A non-fiction book will probably be the best bet, but if none are available a novel will do. Flip the book open to the first chapter. On that page, choose a word. Any word will do, although it would be best if you dont choose the most frequently used articles, such as the or a. Ideally, pick a noun. Next, search for that word in the text. Keep track of how many times it shows up. Go on for at least 50 pages. Notice how many times it appears in these pages. Now, go back to the beginning of the section you read and choose a new word. Go through the same section one more time looking for the new word you have chosen. Count how many times that word appears. Next, do it one more time. Choose a third word and go through that section again counting how many times that word shows up in the text. Quick question: What was that section of the book about? Written by Martin Messier Page 15

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Exercise 5 The Imaginary Photographer

Go out by foot in the city or in nature and pretend you are a photographer and look for sights that would look like a letter of the alphabet. For instance, two trees leaning outward from the same base is V. Or you might notice a street crossing that makes up an X. This exercise, in addition to being fun, will make you a lot more alert to what is around you.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 16

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Conclusion
Becoming an outstanding observer will pave the way for developing more complex skills as you move along, such as calibration and modeling. As I mentioned at the beginning of this training guide, no one would pay $3,000.00 on a seminar to just observe. The only such seminar I can think of would be a drawing seminar, since drawing is 90% observation and 10% technique. My final word of advice is to make sure you set aside uninterrupted time to practice. Just like any other skill, the only way to acquire it is to practice, practice, practice and practice some more. Caveat: dont stress out about this. Remember the need to relax. When you relax, youll get out of your own way and allow your competence to find you. This might very well be the most important skill you will ever develop in your lifetime.

Written by Martin Messier

Page 17

The Number One NLP Skill You Must Master

Get more!
If you got value out of this training guide, I invite you to subscribe to my exclusive product information list. Im constantly studying, experimenting and testing new NLP models and methods. Specifically, I focus on finding the 20% that produces 80% of the results. When I find something that works, I systematize it and offer it to my squad of faithful practitioners. Others never hear about them. If youd like to join the squad and get a heads-up when I release these additional resources, head over to this page and drop in your email address: http://www.howtomasternlp.com/products-info

Written by Martin Messier

Page 18