Illuminatus!

Atlas Shrugged

Opening line: It was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton. 804 pages Superficially a sci-fi tinged mystery novel, but really the philosophy of Discordianism in fictional form. Views the world through the metaphor of the Greek Goddess Eris. Has been known to turn previously sane readers into paranoid schizophrenics. Portrays hierarchical systems abstracted to the point of absurdity, although some readers find that absurdity plausible. Written by a sane man who believed he was insane. Portrays powerful men as utterly deluded about their influence on world history. Characters who lack a sense of empathy and connection find sex devoid of meaning. Author never makes things simple for his readers. Has the ability to make those who havent read it bemused. Completely unfilmable.

Opening line: Who is John Galt? 1184 pages. Superficially a sci-fi tinged mystery novel, but really the philosophy of Objectivism in fictional form. Views the world through the metaphor of the Greek Titan Atlas. Has been known to turn previously sane readers into sociopaths. Portrays individual liberty abstracted to the point of absurdity, although some readers find that absurdity plausible. Written by an insane woman who believed she was sane. Portrays powerful men as utterly pivotal due to their influence on world history. Characters who lack a sense of self-interest and purpose find sex devoid of meaning. Author never makes things difficult for her readers. Has the ability to make those who havent read it extremely angry. Completely unfilmable (see the 2011 film Atlas Shrugged: Part 1 for more details)

Portrays the powerful elite in ways utterly removed from how the powerful elite actual act. Views government as dangerous and deluded. Author is so extreme that they were at one point accused of being an undercover CIA agent working to discredit conspiracy theories. At one point, a character fucks a giant apple. Considers an individuals belief that their personal philosophy is the only true philosophy to be the cause of all the confusion, misery and problems in the world. It is seemingly impossible to find anyone who knew the author who has a bad word to say about him.

Portrays the proletariat in ways utterly removed from how the proletariat actual act. Views government as dangerous and parasitical. Author is so extreme that they were at one point accused of being a Soviet sleeper agent working to discredit capitalism. No-one fucks any apples. Considers the authors personal philosophy to be the only true philosophy.

*shudder*