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EngCW 400 / Spring 2012 / Merson Numbering continues from the Poetry Exercises. Please continuing formatting Exercises as you have before.
The best themes observe something important and/or overlooked about real life: Sometimes, mothers cant love their kids, or Sometimes joy makes people crazy.
#8 Story Modeling
Read the handouts on story modeling. Pick one short story youve read for our class (either textbooks or handouts) and imagine how you might write your own version, changing the theme and details to transform it into your own story but still emulate something about it that you like. Specifically: B. Identify which story you are modeling from and then try some word substitutions from the first paragraph(s) for about six sentences just to see how it goes. Type up your results. C. Identify for me what your source storys theme is and what your storys theme would be. (Theme = what the author observes about the subject mattera full sentence thought!). You must make your them different form the sources! D. Explain what would happen in your storyhow would it be similar to but different from the source story? If you want to work on this for your workshop story but have questions, be sure to keep a copy of your work at home (as you always should) and ask me any questions in class, since I probably cant get this back to you before workshop.
#9 Fiction Exercise
Focusing Drama by Reducing Chatter
When revising, youll have to make tough choices about sentences and paragraphs. Chatter Type I: Insignificant detail, sentences, and scenes Often, we need to leave out words, sentences, paragraphs, or pages. Perhaps we wrote a blah scene because we made stuff up as we went along or needed to get a character from point A to point B. Good revision involves trimming out or reducing insignificant detail. If you started your story with someone waking up in bed, you probably have a lot to cut! If you characters walk here, turn there, or reach the other side of a room, ask yourself if the reader needs all that stage direction. Chatter Type II: Mental chatter Remove as much mental activity in the narration as possible, unless your character has a particularly charming voice. Let action and detail imply (show) as much as possible. Too much of the main character thinking, judging, and feeling (emotionally) waters down narrative flavor. If you must include mental activity, word it as specifically and concretely as possible, including metaphors and the naming of specific things. Original: He thought of all the things hed like to do that day. Revised: Todays agenda? Golf in his boxers. Drink gin and tonics. Sweet talk Edna into the hot tub. Chatter Type III: Filtering A subtype of mental chatter, filtering (language like, she saw, I looked at, and they noticed) comes between reader and image. Give us the thing perceived without telling us about the perception.
I saw the hippo rise from the water. The hippo rose from the water. Chatter Type III: Needless Abstraction and Generalization Sometimes a precise, smart, or funny abstract word hits the spot, but more often it deadens a sentence. Cast around to replace the word with something more evocative, more sensory. For each scene below from our class, try to decide what to keep, cut, or reword. Type up your revised version of the same scene. When rewording, get the moment as concise and concrete as possible using the principles above. Change and cut all you like, but keep meaning true to the writers original intentions as best you can. Make the sentences do more in less space. Dont revise the context cues. a. (Context: The setting is a park bench at night. A creepy guy, Al, is sitting beside seventeen-year-old Sarah.) With her discomfort growing Sarah decided to gather the empty beer bottles and make her exit, but when she willed her body to rise Als tight grip set her right back down on the bench.
b. (Context: Mark has slept through a whole morning, missing a funeral he had wanted to attend. Now its afternoon. In a moment, hell get in a shouting match with another driver.) Mark gets in his little two door hatchback and starts the ten minute jaunt to work. The weather is nice, 75 degrees and sunny. It is windows down and sunroof open weather. Doing a steady seven miles per hour over the speed limit, he starts to feel better about the day. Green lights, great weather, and no traffic make the drive relaxing. This tranquil drive is just what his conscience needed, giving him time to mentally prepare and adjust his attitude, so he is not a complete troglodyte to work with. After this rough of a start, the rest of the day can only get better, he thinks to himself.
c. (Context: An authoritarian husband demands an apologyfor a pretty unreasonable reason.) Im caught off guard. I need to think fast. Hes standing over me, waiting for me to explain myself. I know he wont hurt me, but my heart pounds anyway. Im eye level
with his bare chest, gray beginning to fill in his chest hair, reminding me of a silver back gorilla. I know what he wants. Hes making sure Im in subjection. A sincere apology is in order.